Boy Meets World s02e06 Episode Script

Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf?

October the 31st, All Hallow's Eve.
I, Cory Matthews, leave this journal so that those who knew me can understand my terrible fate.
For tonight, at precisely 9:00, 8:00 Central, when the moon shines full, I will become the most terrifying of all creatures - the Werewolf.
Cory, what did you do to my duster? 8:35.
I'm drooling more than usual.
The change into wolfdom is upon me.
Hey, Cor.
You ready for the Halloween party? Please.
I have no time for such things.
Come on, guess who I'm going as.
OK, I'll give you a hint - Wow, Shawn, I wish I was as cool as you.
I'm sure I have no idea.
I'm going as you.
Pretty lifelike, huh? So where's your costume? - I'm not going.
- But you have to go.
No, I have to stay here, alone, locked in my room where no one can see me.
What about Topanga? She's meeting us here, remember? No.
I told her it wasn't safe.
I can't be responsible for my actions.
Only evil will come from tonight.
Gonna make your move, huh? If I do, it'll be on all fours.
Listen, I gotta tell somebody.
Shawn, I am one of the undead creatures of the night.
Cory, you can't fool your best friend.
Something's bothering you, isn't it? Listen, what I'm about to tell you is so bizarre, no one in their right mind would believe it.
Then I'm your guy.
It all started last night.
Mr.
Matthews, I wouldn't be taking out that garbage if I were you.
- I had to.
It was starting to move.
- Haven't you heard? I haven't heard anything.
I live upstairs.
Well, it seems a wolf escaped from the Philadelphia Zoo.
Authorities believe that it may be somewhere in our area.
A wolf out here in the 'burbs? Yes, probably looking for better schools.
So how come you're taking your garbage back inside the house? Wolves have a keen sense of smell.
The garbage would only attract them.
So your plan is to lure them into your living room? Scoff if you will, but as acting head of the Neighborhood Watch, I have duly warned you.
And that's when I heard the rustling.
Hello? Anybody there? Eric? Eric and a girl? Morgan? Oh, boy, you're not Morgan.
Aah! Ha-ha.
Come on.
There's no way you were bitten by a wolf.
Shawn, what else could it have been? Look at the bite.
- I don't see anything.
- Of course you don't.
Everybody knows werewolf bites heal overnight.
Wow, then you're covered with them.
So you're really turning into a werewolf? I didn't think so until I woke up this morning.
Eric, what's you're about to see may shock you.
Then put a towel on.
OK, look.
Oh, my God, I don't see anything at all.
Don't toy with me.
It's all over me.
I've got hair, huge amounts.
Yeah, you're right.
Where? I've got hair on my chin, on my chest, and other places I don't see where having hair is really gonna help me.
Hey, you're right.
Look, little wispy hairs.
Congratulations.
You're going through puberty.
Least that's one explanation.
Eric, don't start with me.
I'm on the edge, OK? It's just what you told me last night about being bitten by this wolf.
I didn't get a good look.
It might not have been a wolf.
Then it certainly wasn't an ordinary wolf.
I don't know, buddy.
One night, you're bitten by a wolf, the next day, you're the Chia boy.
I don't wanna alarm you or anything, but I think you might be turning into a werewolf.
Come on, who ever heard of a kid turning into a werewolf? Oh, no one, except the most widely read newspaper in America.
Read this.
"Siamese Twins Eat Their Way To Freedom.
" Oh, no, above the fold.
"Teenage Werewolf Probed By Top Scientists.
" Mm-hmm.
Kid was on a camping trip, got bitten by something he didn't get a good look at, kinda like you.
W-W-What happened to him? Oh, nothing, nothing.
He just turned into - a werewolf.
- This can't be true.
It's true.
Jason's cousin met a guy at a party who knows a guy who saw the thing.
They keep it in a secret, steel-walled room in the Pentagon, like this artist rendering.
It's already killed six guards.
Every full moon, they open this little door and feed it live rats.
Listen, I don't wanna hear about this anymore, OK? I'm not a werewolf.
I am not a werewolf.
They say the first sign's denial.
Cory, breakfast.
I made you something special.
Mmm-mmm, big steaming bowl of rats.
Cory.
All right, I'm a hairy mess.
Get out your Epilady and just do me! No, sweetheart, I was gonna say, "Don't forget your lunch.
" It's OK.
I'll kill something at school.
I sense there's something on your mind.
Well, it's this math problem I've been working on.
"If a werewolf leaves a train station going 40 miles an hour "and another werewolf leaves at 60 miles an hour, do werewolves exist?" Is this about the wolf that escaped from the zoo? Could be.
Cory, werewolves don't exist.
Relax, it's just a myth.
As you get older, you'll learn how to separate myth from reality.
What are you doing? One of our soda distributors heard about this guy who robbed a jewelry store and made off with five diamond rings.
And he hid those diamond rings in five cans of soda, thus, your father and other grown-ups who can separate myth from reality - have been boosting soda sales.
- It's a three-carat diamond, babe.
I'm so thirsty.
Shawn, it's more than just hair.
I've got strange new urges.
Like last night, I'm watching the movie Untouchables.
You know the scene where Capone is about to smash heads - with his baseball bat? - Awesome scene.
Except I'm not into it.
The whole time, I'm thinking, "I wonder how cold the water is on Baywatch.
" Jeez, whatever you got, you got it bad.
Yeah.
I didn't know how bad until lunchtime, when I had this strange craving for a snack.
Any special flavors? Yeah, we got Bucket of Blood, that's like strawberry.
And we got Bucket of Guts, that's more or less chocolate.
And we got Smashed and Severed Intestines, but I don't recommend that.
- Can you mix the Blood and Guts? - All the time.
A search for the missing wolf continues, and with today being Halloween, police report a number of prank calls from people claiming to have seen wolves and even werewolves.
Werewolves.
Isn't that silly? Isn't it? There are things, and there are things.
You mean there are things such as werewolves? There are places where such things are revealed, for $5 complete.
Come with me, werewolf boy.
I give you my aunt on my mother's side, Madame Ouspenskaya.
The mysteries of the occult.
Madame, I bring you a boy whose soul is heavy with pain.
Has he paid? Come to me, werewolf boy.
- How did you know? - I know many things.
- I know you were bitten by a wolf.
- It's true.
- I know you're now becoming a wolf.
- That's amazing.
I know you are recently divorced.
What? You're not Billy Joel? No.
Well, then, you're just a wolf.
Yeah, but people turning into wolves that doesn't happen.
- It's just one of those myths.
- Myth? I deal only in truth.
- Do you hear anything in this can? - No.
Shoot.
All right, wolfie, listen.
You body's about to go through many changes.
What kind of changes? You will develop the appetite of the wolf, a taste for things you've never eaten before.
Please don't say head cheese, 'cause I don't Then the pentagram, the five-pointed star, will appear in your hand.
- Is it gonna itch? 'Cause if it's wool - Shut up.
There is more, but it is too horrible to mention.
What about for another five bucks? I feel chatty.
There is a girl who cares deeply for you, but when the madness of the wolf comes upon you, you will repay her love by killing her in a gruesome, evil manner.
I would never do that 'cause there is no girl who cares for me.
Go ahead, doubt someone who is licensed by the state! You know what? You're nutty.
I don't think I believe a thing you say.
I'm nutty? You're 30 minutes late to your English class.
Aah! And your underpants are riding up your tokhes.
That's amazing.
How does she do it? OK, so we got these snotty little prep-school boys stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere no lamps, no cars, no shopping malls.
Not a single luxury.
Wait, I've read this book.
Matthews, welcome.
You were 40 minutes late, so we started without you.
I hope you don't mind.
No, it's OK, really.
What are we up to? We got to this part where this really cool, but angry, teacher give this sweaty kid three days' detention for being unbelievably late.
Can I get a drink? Back to Lord of the Flies.
Where were you? There was a fortune teller at the yogurt parlor.
You tortured a fellow named Yogi Tyler? Yeah.
I'll write you a note.
Matthews, you're amazing.
No idea what's going on, yet you're still taking notes.
What you writing? What you eating? You will develop the appetite of the wolf, a taste for things you've never eaten before.
OK, Matthews, step into my office.
You show up way late, you're eating paper.
Yet I think there might be something wrong.
I'm sorry.
I got some things on my mind.
I don't think you'd understand.
Oh, yeah, 'cause I was never 13, so I wouldn't get anything you could possibly be going through.
- Can I have my keys back? - Oh, yeah, sorry.
- What's this? - It's the Pentagon.
- I got it this summer in Washington.
- The Pentagon? The sign of the pentagram will appear in your hand.
The Pentagon or the pentagram? Same difference.
Aah! Hello.
Cory, are you OK? I think I'm OK.
Feel my nose.
Is it cold? If something's wrong, you can tell me.
It's not like I don't care about you.
You will kill the one girl who cares for you.
Listen to me, you can't care for me, OK? If you do, only harm will come to you.
It'll never work out between us.
Cory, get a grip.
We're only going to a Halloween party.
Yeah, that's how it starts.
Then we get married, have kids and I eat them.
What kind of family is that? Maybe you should take a nap before the party.
Farewell.
Think of me as I was.
Mr.
Matthews, no running in the halls.
We are not animals.
Everything Madame Ouspanskaya predicted has come true.
And now only one part of the prophecy remains unfulfilled I gotta kill Topanga.
What a drag.
Girl finally likes you, and you're gonna off her.
You know, this could really hurt you socially.
What can I do? My paws are tied.
Does anyone else know? No, you're the only one.
The only one.
Hey, Cory, here's your supper.
- He's family.
- Listen.
Since you're going through this change, can I have your autographed Lenny Dykstra ball? - Not my ball! - Cory, you don't need it.
- You're a wolf.
- I can still fetch.
Listen, on the off chance that you are turning into this werewolf, why don't we head to the drugstore? They've got that aisle, beauty aids.
If they got stuff that can take the 'stache off my mother, they've gotta have something for you.
Don't you think I already thought of that? Listen, after school, I went back to Madame Ouspanskaya's.
Madame Ouspanskaya, everything you predicted has come true.
No kidding.
Mind if I use you for a reference? I found out there is a girl who cares for me, just like you said.
- Well, have you killed her yet? - No.
- Well, why not? - I don't know.
Oh.
I know.
You will not kill her till the moon is full.
When will the moon be full? According to USA Today, tonight at exactly 9:00.
You gotta help me.
Isn't there an antidote or something? That's easy.
Wear a garlic necklace and get back in your coffin.
No, I'm not a vampire.
I'm a werewolf.
Tomatoes, to-mah-toes.
As long as you're not my son.
Listen, you gotta help me.
OK, OK, sit.
Good boy.
Now, "the only way to end the curse "is to be shot through the heart with a silver bullet fired by one who loves you.
" Couldn't I maybe just start with some vitamin C and work my way up? Frank! - What? - A cigarette.
Hi, guys.
Morgan, that costume is so you.
My stuff.
Where is it? Where's my Let's see, that would be wolfbane, silver bullets, gun.
Oh, the lady ahead of me took the last gun.
Fine, Mom, is that too much to ask for? That you could take a minute and, oh, maybe save my immortal soul? I guess not.
But, look, you got Morgan's gummie worms.
I'll share my worms with him.
Aw, that's very sweet of you.
I'll take care of this.
It's kind of a guy thing.
The crazy ones always are.
Is this silver? Can I melt it down? Cory, do you know what hormones are? I could get five, six bullets out of this.
Do you know what raging hormones are? Yeah, it's one of those rides.
Listen, Dad, you love me, right? Yes, I do.
Where is this going? I can't melt this down.
I'm just being crazy.
Here, throw this at my heart really, really hard.
You're going through some changes, aren't you? - Yes, I am.
- You know what those changes are? - Seriously? No kidding? - Yeah.
I'm a werewolf.
Ah-ooo.
Of course you are.
And if you misbehave as a werewolf, I'll be happy to shoot you.
But on the off chance that you're turning into a man and not a wolf, this could just be the beginning of adulthood.
Dad, I'm not becoming a man.
I'm becoming man's best friend.
Listen, just put some paper on the floor, and I'll get the hang of it.
Down, boy.
Remember when you were little and you watched me shave, and you wanted to shave, so I gave you a razor without the blade, and you put whipped cream on your face and scrapped it off? Hmm? Well, maybe it's time I gave you a real razor.
It wouldn't have to be very sharp, but, uh I don't know, how do you think you'd look with a beard? Aah! - Hey, where you going? - It's happening, just like she said! So I hope you will all forgive me as I cannot escape my destiny.
Fondly, Cory A.
O.
Matthews.
What's the A.
O.
stand for? Ah-ooo.
- What are you doing? - I'm taking your running shoes.
If you don't have a four of a kind, there's really no point.
Cory, Topanga's here.
Oh, no, she's here.
Shawn, I need you to do something for me.
Promise me you'll keep Topanga away from me.
Swear by everything holy that you'll do everything in your power to keep that poor, innocent girl from a terrible Hi, Topanga.
Aah! I'll just leave you two alone.
Have a good time.
Hi, Cory.
Topanga, I warned you not Oh, boy, why'd you have to wear that? Because I'm a damsel.
But not the distressed kind.
One who's very together and in complete control of her own destiny.
Great.
Look, I think you're a terrific person, I like you a whole lot, and I never wanna see you again.
But, Cory, I don't understand.
Listen, everything you need to know is in here.
If it's ever published, I'd like the royalties to go to the ASPCA.
- Now out, out.
- But Cory Topanga, I'm not like the other guys.
I've got the needs and desires, and I'm not sure I can control them.
The moon! When the moon is full, you will kill the one who cares for you.
You gotta get out.
Get out before it's too late.
It's too late.
OK, look at me.
Tell me what you see.
- I see you.
- No, you don't.
You see hair and teeth and the beast within me.
No.
I see Cory, the same Cory I've known since I was three.
I'm not a wolf? I'm not a wolf, I'm not a wolf! Yes, you are.
Mr.
Feeny, you're putting your garbage back outside again.
- What about the wolf? - Didn't you hear? He was in the zoo the whole time.
They found him in the aviary, dining on a cockatoo.
So he never really escaped at all? Funny how rumors start, isn't it? Drat.
Well, good night, Mr.
Matthews.
Wait a minute.
No wolf? Well, then, what was? Oh, it's you again, isn't it? All right, come here, you creature of the night.
Come out, you demon beast.
Come out! A rabbit.
A fuzzy, cuddly rabbit.
I got all worked up over you? That's better.

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