Boy Meets World s04e09 Episode Script

Sixteen Candles and Four-Hundred-Pound Men

" and in the night, he searches, "and in the day, he searches, "and on the morrow, he will search, "close, reaching, yet it will not be found, "and he knows that.
" Nice passion, Matthews.
Very nice.
Hey, Hunter.
Hey, how were you affected by that reading? I don't wanna go to school, Daddy.
Cory's reading poetry.
You get your butt out of that bed and get to class! Okay.
Okay.
Gee, I wonder what's gonna happen.
Frankie, do it, buddy.
What the poet is saying in this beautiful piece, which was very movingly read, I might add Hey.
is that sometimes we love, and though it seems the object of our love is within reach, it does not reciprocate, and so we must keep reaching.
It's not about a doggy? Shh, honey, don't speak.
Outstanding, Stecchino, outstanding.
Anything else? Yes.
Thank you.
Uh, Frankie, why the sad puss, o King of Poetry? I'm afraid that the poem you so eloquently read Hey.
about someone who reaches out for an unattainable love hits a little too closely to home.
Why, Francis Albert Stecchino, have you been struck by Cupid's arrow? Alas, there are deep and turbulent waters within my soul.
I don't know where I am.
Sit, darling.
Have a nap.
Hey, Stecchino, you're doing a heck of a job in class, buddy.
Can you save these two guys? Uh, Frankie, Frankie, you know, it sounds like we have the basis for a little negotiation here.
I'm listening.
You help us with poetry, and we will help you with your love situation.
Let me consider.
Okay.
The conditions for your deal have been accepted.
Good.
So, Frankie, who's the girl that's doing the damage? I will tell you, but not here, and not now.
Now, Frankie, how can we help you if you won't tell us who it is? Frankie, I'm home.
Father, it is good to see you.
May I show you my most recent addition to the Norton Anthology Collection of Modern Poetry? You and that poetry.
You could've been somebody.
You could've been a sumo.
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you.
Me and your brother Herman were at the gym.
He's gonna be a wrestler like his father.
Woof! Yes.
I will carry on the Stecchino wrestling tradition, although my barking must improve.
Woof, woof.
He said "woof.
" Isn't that cute? I remember you, little man.
You're in my son's poetry class.
You're a bad influence.
I should crush you like garlic and put you in my spaghetti.
That's what you said to Psycho Sid at The Spectrum the night you power-bombed him through the mat.
You were there? I never miss a match.
You see, Frankie? This boy's a fan.
I like this boy! Why can't you be this boy? Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! And yet, I love you, Father.
Oh, my gosh, Cory! I just realized who it is that Frankie loves and who doesn't love him back.
Yeah, me, too.
Amy Lee Reynolds.
Yeah.
Amy Lee Reynolds.
Come here.
It's his father.
"Someone is turning sweet 16, "and if you could be there, it would be keen.
" My mom wrote that.
It's silly.
It's dumb.
I can't believe it.
A sweet I'm sorry you even have to read this.
Topanga.
Yes, Cory? Slow down, honey.
Separate your words.
Okay, I'll try.
Please come to my sweet 16.
It doesn't mean a lot to me, but it means a lot to my mom.
So what do I tell my mother? Am I your boyfriend? Yes, you are.
Then I'll be there.
You're the best.
Yeah, when I'm on my game, no one can touch me.
Gentlemen, the key to any poem is to put yourself in the mind of the poet, a quiet place.
A reflective place.
It's time! It's time! It's Vader time! I got it! I got my rematch with Jake the Snake, and the chump's goin' down! Woof! A place where you can see what the poet sees, where you can feel what the poet feels.
Wait a minute, Frankie.
Why don't you do that with your father? You know, see what he sees.
Feel what he feels.
My father is not a poet.
He is a professional wrestler, villain category, with the World Wrestling Federation.
No, Frankie.
Talk to him about what he loves.
You mean my brother Herman? No, I was talking about wrestling.
Yeah, we'll even help you, okay? Your gesture of friendship is very moving.
Okay.
Okay, here he comes.
His famous move is called the Vader Bomb.
Tell him he's setting it up too slowly.
Dad, I have a wrestling notion.
You have a wrestling tip for me? Bring it on! Bring it on! I think the Vader Bomb would be best achieved if it were set up What, slower, quicker, what? Quicker.
Quicker.
I knew something was wrong with the bomb.
You keep those tips coming.
I want you ringside at the fight.
Good boy, Frankie.
Good boy! Can I hug you guys now? Sure.
Sure.
Hey.
If it looks like I got a spring in my step, it's because I do, and I have you to thank for it.
I'm starting to win the love of my father.
We talk about wrestling, sure, but at least we talk.
No charge, Frankie.
So, I'll see you tomorrow night? Tomorrow night it is.
Cory, you don't got tomorrow night.
Uh, Frankie, wait, wait.
What exactly is tomorrow night? The most important night of my life.
See you then.
What specifically, Frankie? It is when my father fights Jake "The Snake" Roberts.
The winner is in line for a shot at the belt against Shawn Michaels at Madison Square Garden.
He wants me at ringside to give him tips.
That means I need someone like you at my side to give me tips.
Someone like me, but not me, since I have Topanga's 16th birthday party to go to, which means nothing at all to her, except everything in the world if you listen closely, but I can't make it.
Sorry, bud.
Hey, I know very little about wrestling, except when I'm playing Twister with the McClusky triplets.
I walk alone.
Alone I walk.
No father among me.
Without a father, I am.
I'll be there.
I know.
You wanna know why I know? Because I want everybody to love me? I've noticed that, but I was gonna say it's because you have a good heart.
Topanga is gonna kill you.
Shawn, you underestimate her.
She's gonna want you at that party, man.
Women aren't forgiving about that kind of thing.
Okay, Topanga will forgive.
I mean, Topanga's not just any woman here.
I bet you a buck she flips out.
It's your money, Leroy.
Uh, Topanga, sweetheart, listen.
There might be a slight chance I won't be able to come I'll just die! I'll just die! Cory, I know I said it's not important, but it means everything.
I only turn 16 once.
Cory, you have to be there.
We have to dance at the party together.
My parents danced together at my mom's sweet 16, so we have to, too.
Topanga, am I your boyfriend? Yes, you are.
Then I'll be there.
I know you will, and you wanna know why I know? Because I've got a good heart? I was going to say because you wanted everyone to love you, but, yeah, because you have a good heart.
Why do these kinds of things always happen to me? 'Cause you're a good guy, Cory.
These things happen to good guys.
That's very nice of you to say, Shawn, but I'd better be real good to be two places at once.
It must and will be done.
Oh, you have the technology? Right here, right now.
Cory, the need to be in two places at once is a dilemma that dates back thousands of years.
Lucky for you, I am a student in such matters.
So what's this, an instructional Deepak Chopra, Venus and Mars, buy real estate no money down, Ab Reducer, Juice Tiger kind of thing? It's The Flintstones.
I was gonna say that.
This is a classic episode where Fred has to be at Pebbles' birthday party and the big bash at the Water Buffalo Lodge on the same night.
Oh.
I remember being very nervous during this one.
Yes, quite a dilemma for our prehistoric friend.
Let's watch.
All right.
Fred Flintstone.
Nice guy, big feet, just like you.
And he's got a good best friend.
That's right, Barney.
That's me.
Watch Fred's technique.
Let's go frame by frame.
Here he is, backing out of the Water Buffalo Lodge.
Now, he's taking off his Water Buffalo helmet.
That's key.
Huh.
A simple costume change, and he fools everybody.
Now here, he arrives at Pebbles' birthday party correctly attired, and no one's the wiser.
I've calculated your distances.
The Flintstone scenario is doable in your case.
I assume you had a fallback plan.
Jonny Quest, but then you would need Hadji and a hovercraft.
Okay, Topanga's sweet 16 is a mere three-tenths of a mile away from Vader's wrestling match.
All right.
What's our time constraints? I'm on that, too.
Fred never spent more than Yeah, but you see, Shawn, that was a cartoon.
Time was compressed.
We're real.
We're in real time.
Trust me, it's the same thing.
No, it's not.
You see, a television show can cover many days in only one half-an-hour program.
Trust me, it's the same thing.
Okay.
Now, here comes tragedy.
Fred arrives at Pebbles' party, and he's wearing his Buffalo helmet.
Wilma gets what's going on.
Here she comes around with a frying pan, and Well, we can't let that happen, Barney.
I'm here for you, Fred.
He is the best! He is Vader! There he is.
There is the man, the one and only Vader! There he is, his son right there, Frankie, along with Cory and Shawn.
They are his special advisers for this match-up because if Vader is victorious, it puts him in line for a title shot at Madison Square Garden.
Oh, yes! Vader looks to be in tremendous form! He is here to impress his son Frankie.
He has something to prove, and he plans on proving it tonight! Oh, yes! There they are in the ring.
There's Vader's son in the ring, Cory and Shawn, they are taunting Jake "The Snake" Roberts.
On the other side of the ring, Jake the Snake! He's got the snake! He's got the snake! They better watch out! Frankie, Cory, and Shawn, they don't know where to go! Get the snake out of the ring.
The snake does not belong in the wrestling ring! Vader wants to know who the man is.
I know who the man is.
The man is Vader! The fans here would like to see Jake the Snake DDT Vader.
Hey, where are you going? Uh, we forgot to buy programs.
Yeah, you can't tell the players apart without a program.
My father.
Not my father.
How hard could this be? Topanga, there you are.
I have been looking all over for you.
I mean, I've been here for 20 minutes, and I couldn't find you because of the size of this turnout.
I mean, a person could get lost in here.
But there I go, running off at the mouth, keeping you from mingling with your interesting guests.
Well, off you go.
Mingle.
Mingle, mingle.
Seventy-five.
You know, Cory, I know I said a lot about this not meaning anything, but the truth is now that the time's here and we're about to share that special dance, I realize how important a moment like this is in our lives.
I realize that, too.
In fact Wrap it up! The end.
Where are you going? Uh, Topanga, your Aunt Ruthie, she's over there, and for how long no one knows.
In fact, no one knows how long any of us are gonna be here.
That was crazy.
I don't even know what I said.
Shirts? Check.
Masks? Check.
All right.
Let's go! Where have you been? Your Aunt Ruthie, she's over there.
Other place.
Uh, we had to buy Vader masks, and the people and the line What? Give me something! Frankie looking on.
He has to be worried.
His father's not looking too good in the ring right now against Jake the Snake.
Frankie has got to be concerned.
Their advice has not been paying off.
Jake's moving in for the DDT.
Tell your dad to counter, or he's a goner.
Watch out for the DDT, Dad! The crowd chanting for the DDT! They want the DDT! Oh, but Vader counters! It must've been the advice from Frankie! Seventy-five! Hey, where are you going? Frankie, I Wrap it up! The end.
You know, this is almost too easy, Barney.
Don't get cocky.
That's where mistakes happen, my friend.
Okay, I'm off to mix.
Cor, wait, wait, wait! What? Have a good time, man.
Thanks.
And take off the mask.
You're supposed to catch this stuff.
Hey, anybody could've missed that.
Where have you been? Me? Yes, you.
I have been back and forth across this room, must've been 20 times, looking for you.
A guy gets worried is what happens.
Cory, you're out of breath.
Looking for you, but I found you, and you're here, and now I can breathe easy.
I'm sorry.
Accepted.
See you later.
What? Where are you going? Uh, nowhere, because there's still the matter of that special dance that's so important to you Me Us.
I'm glad it means something to you, too, Cory.
I'll go ask the deejay.
Cory! Cory! I've been watching the match on that TV over there.
Jake's taken the snake out of the bag.
That means Vader's history.
Without our help, he is.
Okay, there and back, but if we don't get back before this song starts, I'm history.
* Happy birthday * Now you're sweet 16 * You are my angel Oh, no! Vader hasn't got Your tips are not working.
My father will surely lose the match, and I will lose his love forever.
No, no.
My tips are gold, okay? Your dad's gonna turn this match around any second.
Father! Father, are you all right? Give me a woof! I've got nothing, boy.
I'm losing my shot at the belt! This is where the beaten-up fighter looks in the crowd at the one person that can give him the inspiration to go on.
Now what do you got for me, boy? What do you got for me, boy? Sorry, Frankie.
I'm all out of ideas.
Father, I have no tips about pile drivers or scoop slams.
All I have is the love of a son for his father, for no matter the outcome of this match, you will always be champion of the world in my heart.
Would it be okay if I won? Well, my friends did come all this way.
Jake! This one's for my son! It is only a matter of time.
Vader getting back in now with a vengeance.
Oh! Yeah! Yeah! Vader! Oh! Vader, now pounding Jake the Snake in the corner.
Rights and lefts.
Punches to the head.
Punches to the midsection.
Jake the Snake goes down.
Vader has got the Snake in position.
He's signaling for the Vader Bomb! Vader is signaling for the Vader Bomb! If he hits He hits the Vader Bomb! Three! Here is your winner! Here is your winner! Vader! Wow, this is, like, the greatest moment of my life.
No, it's not.
How's the fight going? How'd you know? What, you believe that? Hi, Shawn.
I had a very nice time.
Thank you for inviting me.
How could you do this to me, Cory? You knew how important this was.
Look, Topanga, if it helps, I'm sorry.
I mean, I ruined your party, and I know you'll never forgive me.
I guess this is where I get hit on the head with a frying pan.
Okay, what's he talking about? Flintstones.
He had to be at two places at once.
Oh, the Water Buffalo, Pebbles episode.
And you wonder why I love this girl.
Cory, I've been sitting here since everybody left, and I've been wrestling, too.
I've been wrestling with how you could've possibly left me here alone.
And I know you, and I know you have a good reason.
Tell me your good reason, Cory.
I was helping Frankie get closer with his dad.
Looks like you did.
Look, I want you to know, I would never hurt you.
And I'm sorry we couldn't dance together in front of everyone.
In front of everyone doesn't matter.
It was just a special dance, and I wanted it to be with you.
Hey, Fred.
Yeah, Barn? You know, if it's a special dance you want, Frankie does owe you a favor.
May I have this dance? I thought you'd never ask.
* Now you're sweet 16 * You are my angel * You're my teenage queen Poetry in motion, huh, Frankie? Well, I see you have an appreciation after all.
So, the two in the ring, how many rounds you think they'll go? Those two? Oh, they're gonna go the distance.
Now, Frankie, I accept the fact that you don't want to be a wrestler like your pappy.
I'm just happy to come down here to watch you work out.
Hey, I got a shot at the belt, and I been working on this new move.
It's called the Vader-Sault.
Could I see it? Of course you can.
Yeah! You know, Cory, when we dance close like this and you're holding me, I feel safe, like nothing could ever happen to me.
Topanga, I would never let anything happen to you.
Uh, move one step to your left.
All right, Dad! Yeah, Son!
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