Boy Meets World s07e16 Episode Script

Previously on Boy Meets World I'm banning you from the dorm.
Can she do that? I just did! You are gonna be sorry, homewrecker.
I hope you know this means war.
How could you? I'm not talking to you.
I'm not talking to you, either.
I'm not talking to you.
I'm not talking to you, either! And I'm not talking to you! And I'm not talking to you! I knew this was gonna happen.
And so, my precious little jackals, here's the bottom line.
No one leaves this room until you have healed every relationship in this group, no matter how long it takes.
No matter how long! Shut up.
Shut up Jackals! How can you possibly keep us here against our will? A- minus.
Well played, old man.
I know this group as well as anyone living, and I will not have it falling apart.
Not now! So, what if we can't fix things? Well, then, you will go through life without each other.
No.
Come on, guys.
We can do this.
We're all adults here.
She started it! He parked in my spot! She overreacted! They took apart my car! She glued my pants! This isn't about any of that.
What is it about? It's about they're jerks.
It's about that these friendships aren't what we thought they were.
Okay, well, boohoo to the both of you.
Cory! No, this is crazy.
I mean, we pull a couple of pranks and suddenly we're not friends anymore? What kind of friends were we? Not.
Not friends.
Okay, fine.
We're not friends today.
I'll see ya tomorrow.
Mr.
Feeny, why are you keepin' us locked up here? Because I care about you.
He cares about us, okay? And I care about us, too.
We've been friends all our lives.
No.
No, we haven't.
That's the point.
Some of us have been friends all their lives.
And some of us haven't.
It's an exclusive club, and we're not in it.
Rachel, what are you making this such a big deal for? Because it is a big deal! Angela, don't blow this up.
No.
It's too late, Shawn.
It's blown.
All right, you know what? Look.
We're not talkin' about that, all right? Rachel and Angela and myself, we feel like we're outsiders here.
Okay, look, first of all, Angela's my girlfriend, okay? And I love her.
Second of all, you're my brother, so I'm forced to like you.
So what am I? What are you? Yeah, I mean, you've made it really clear who everybody else is.
Brothers, brothers, boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife.
You all have this really strong bond between you.
I mean, what's the strong bond between us? You think husband and wife is a strong bond? I wasn't even a part of their stupid team.
Topanga, will you pipe down with that, please? Aw, tell it to your boyfriend.
Remember what I told you.
Stand up to her.
Unbelievable.
Everybody is coming apart and they get closer? I am your wife, nimrod! I wasn't talking about them, Topanga, and I wasn't talking about you, either.
For once, in all the time that we've known each other, I was talking about me.
I was talking about how I feel.
How do you feel, Rachel? I feel like I don't fit in with these people.
And I don't think I ever have.
No, no, no, Rachel, no.
Look, there's some bad feelings here, but we're gonna work them out right now.
I agree, and what we're going to do is what they do in Miss Templeton's kindergarten class.
We're going to take a piece of ruled paper, and we're going to write down what we like about each other.
That's what we're going to do, children.
Right now.
"I'm your wife, nimrod!" Do you know what it's like to have that voice inside your head all day long? It's no wonder I turn to him.
Come on.
Guys, Rachel's leaving here.
Just write down how we feel about each other.
Oh, fine.
Look at him side with Shawn, his lover! Oh, very tasteful, honey.
Did you hear that, Shawn? Shawn, his lover! Shut up, Yoko! Guys, Rachel left! You know, that's perfect.
Right? Even when it's supposed to be about all of us, it always comes back to them.
Mmm-hmm.
It's never gonna change.
Why didn't you write anything down, huh? Well, shouldn't somebody go after her? Can we please leave? No! We can't leave! I brought you here to help us, Feeny! Eric, I would be happy to assist you in any project regarding these people if it stood a chance of succeeding.
This one don't.
You're giving up on us? Yep.
Did you guys hear that? Mr.
Feeny's giving up on us.
He's never done that before.
You are making way too much out of this.
It's just stupid little fights that no one's gonna remember after next week.
That may be, Mr.
Matthews, but it's been my experience that stupid little fights have a way of escalating into stupid big fights which can change the course of your future.
We just wanna get out of here now.
The future will take care of itself.
All right.
If that's the way you feel about it, you're all dismissed.
Wait! No! No, you're not! No! Stay there! Come on, guys.
We gotta work this out.
Hey! Hey, you wanna go for a walk or something? I just want to be by myself right now.
Okay? Okay.
Hey, Shawn, you can talk with us if you want.
Cory, don't you think it's important that you and I talk right now? Shawn can talk with us, too.
Fine.
If you want to talk to Shawn, why don't I just find something else to do? Topanga, come on.
Is it gonna be you versus Shawn for the rest of our lives? Why don't you tell me? Look, she's my wife, okay? And there's a lot of good that comes with that.
I'm hoping.
So just give me a few days to find it, and I'll get back to ya.
You're really gonna listen to her, huh? I just want peace for one freakin' second, Shawn.
Come on, you're gonna let her come between the greatest friendship of all time? I just need some time.
Okay.
You take all the time you want.
Topanga, I don't even know what we're doing here.
We clearly have nothing to say to these people.
Cory, we're not here for them.
We're here out of respect to Mr.
Feeny.
But I don't know what I'm gonna say to anybody.
You're gonna say, "Hi, how are you doing? It's so good to see you.
" They're gonna smile superficially and say the same thing back to you.
And then we can go home to the baby? Yes.
Hi.
Hi! Hi.
You look great.
So do you.
So do I.
It's a joke.
I was just making a small joke.
Well, it's funny.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Yeah, well, if you'll excuse me, I'm just, uh, I'm incredibly thirsty.
I'm gonna get some A glass of liquor.
Large.
I'll take a large.
Oh, hi! How ya doin'? Good to see ya.
Whatcha up to? Yeah, we've been readin' about you in the newspapers.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're very proud of you.
Yeah.
What's it like to have that kind of money? Good.
How's your, um Oh, it's great! It's going great, you know.
Always a little busy around the tax season.
Say, did you hear the one about the CPA and the penguin? Excuse me.
Hey! Oh.
And let me guess.
In less than a year, you were made partner in the most prestigious law firm in Connecticut.
No.
It was heading that way, but then we had little Beverly Glenn and I took some time off for her.
Oh, she's beautiful, Topanga.
Thanks, Angela.
I may never go back to work again.
Oh, she's going back.
I thought about you so many times.
Why didn't you call? Why didn't you? I thought about it You know.
Life goes by.
Oh, yeah, it does.
I want you to know that I've collected all of your articles from Rolling Stone.
Oh, thanks.
Quite the world traveler, huh? Yeah, I get around.
So, is there anybody special in your life? No, not yet.
Any prospects? Not yet.
Are you happy? Not yet.
Well, I really look forward to your correspondence, Shawn.
Please don't stop writing me.
I won't.
So, do you, um Do you ever hear from Cory Matthews? Are he and Topanga doin' all right? Why don't you ask him? He's right behind you.
Hey, Shawn.
Cory.
How are you doing? Okay.
I'm okay.
How are you? I'm good.
Good.
Good.
How are you doing, Mr.
Feeny? I'm fine, Mr.
Matthews.
How's the baby? You had a baby? Yeah.
A couple of months ago.
A little girl.
You're the father? I am.
We're, uh We're very happy.
Do you have any pictures? I brought the pictures.
Topanga.
Angela.
Hi, Shawn.
Long time.
Yeah.
So, how are you? What are you doin'? I'm a writer.
You're kidding.
I do freelance pieces for a bunch of magazines.
She sends them to me.
I bet they're great.
Thanks.
So, did you, um Did you ever get married or anything? No, I never got married, you know, with all the traveling I do, and Yeah, no, no, I understand.
Yeah, well, it's so good to see you guys.
Oh, my God! You know what? I got to go, though.
You know, I really I gotta catch a plane or something.
So you both write for magazines.
You always had so much in common.
And they didn't even know they were in the same profession.
She wrote a beautiful piece about Costa Rican rain forests.
So, why didn't you tell her that? I don't know.
Why haven't you and I spoken in seven years? You guys happy? Yeah, we are.
We have a very nice life.
Good friends? Yeah, yeah, you know, they're okay.
You? Well, it's tough, you know, with all the traveling I do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Say, did you hear the one about the accountant and the penguin? Excuse me.
It's been a long time.
Yeah.
Maybe we should keep it that way.
Yeah, yeah, why don't we? How ya doin'? Fine, my son.
Eric? No, not Eric.
Not anymore.
Uh-huh.
That's fine.
That's just fine.
Okay, what is your name now? My name is Plays-With-Squirrels.
Perfect.
Even more insane.
Insane? If giving away all your worldly possessions, renouncing society, and learning how to purify and drink your own urine is insane, well Mmm, yes, color me insane.
See ya later, buddy.
I have something for you.
I'm a wealthy man.
I am a captain of industry.
What is this power you have over me? I don't know.
Here.
Read this.
Oh, what is this? It's me manifesto.
All of us hermits have one.
"The Secret of Life by Plays-With-Squirrels.
" Okay, everybody! I've got the, uh The secret of life here if you want to know.
Feeny! Fee-hee-hee Oh, I can't do it anymore.
Mr.
Matthews? Mr.
Squirrels.
Eric? Plays-With.
Okay, the party's over.
I'll see you at my funeral.
No, no, no, no, no.
Where's Angela? She was here.
She left.
Too painful to be in the same room with the man she should've married? What? Don't tell him that we have a daughter.
I have a niche? Niece.
Niece? Where is Rachel? Yeah, where is Rachel? Does anyone know whatever happened to her? I hear she moved to Texas.
Rachel? I wanted to see if there was anything left between me and my old boyfriend.
You mean, the one you broke up with when you moved here? Yep, that's the one.
Well, was there anything left? A little.
I married him.
Congratulations.
Do you have any kids? Yeah, two little ones.
Little Cory and little Topanga.
Really? No.
What, are you joking? Oh.
Well, married life is great, isn't it? We're divorced.
Oh.
What happened? He parked in my spot.
Yeah, well, I've been watchin' y'all, and I just can't believe that none of you are friends anymore.
I mean, I thought you guys would be together forever.
Yeah, but ever since that little argument we had in the classroom What do you mean, over me? You guys aren't friends anymore because of me? Well, I guess it had something to do with that.
Wow.
Wait.
Wait a second.
You didn't all make up after I left and live happily ever after? Well, our marriage counselor says we're doing fine.
Quiet! Wow.
I thought nothing could keep you guys apart.
Neither did I, but I guess something did.
I guess we just weren't as strong as we thought we were.
Or as smart as we thought.
I married a moose.
We don't need counseling.
So, Mr.
Squirrels, you've written something there, have you? Oh, yes.
I've been by myself for the past seven years.
I've put together a compendium of all my knowledge.
Everything I know is in me manifesto.
Read it, Jack.
Eric, that thing is like 3,000 pages long.
Nope.
3,000 blank pages.
Only the first one has writing on it.
What does it say? Well, um "Lose one friend, lose all friends, "lose yourself.
" So, why are all the other pages blank? Nothing else seemed important.
You were always my most interesting student, Mr.
Squirrels.
You know, I wish we had known that then.
Do you think we would have listened? I blew it.
I let her go.
Well, I don't know, but, uh, I guess we'll never know now, huh? You guys, Rachel just left.
Why didn't anybody write anything down? Come on.
Get Eric! Eric! Come on! Stop struggling! Eric, get Eric, what are you doing? Eric! Look, if there's bad feelings here, then we have to work them out because that's what friends should do! Now, look, I wrote something, Rachel.
Please, just read it before you go anywhere.
"Lose one friend, lose all friends, "lose yourself.
" We're not gonna lose our friends.
Are we? We might.
What if Mr.
Feeny's right? What if we don't fix this? What if this is the last time that we're all together? Is that a chance you're all willing to take? Rachel, you're my roommate and I care about you.
You do? Yeah! Oh, Angela! Rachel, just 'cause we're not in love anymore doesn't mean I want to lose you as my friend.
I don't want to lose any of you guys.
Come here.
Oh.
Oh, Rachel, I just wanted so bad to be a part of that team, but I guess I never will be.
It's always gonna be Cory and Shawn.
I give up.
Topanga, don't give up.
Come on.
You're his wife.
I'm just his best friend.
You should be with him all the time.
All the time? Like, so, if you weren't around, I would be with Cory all the time? Well, yeah.
Till death do you part, right? That's what you wanted, isn't it? Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! You are very important in my life, Shawn.
Thanks.
You guys got room for me? Yep.
We have the perfect spot.
Right between me and the wife.
Hey! All right, Mr.
Feeny, you're up.
Feeny! Feeny! Feeny! Feeny! Class dismissed! All right! Get him! Big hug for Feeny! Big hug!