Breadwinners (2014) s01e01 Episode Script

Thug Loaf; Mine All Mine

2 [Ducks quack] Both: buckle up, duckies 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread flying quazy 'cause we can quazy [Ducks quack] Quazy [Ducks quack] Quazy 'cause we can - Swaysway! - Buhdeuce! - Do a barrel roll, man! Both: Sweet! Buckle up, duckies, 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread flying quazy 'cause we can Booty kick it, party punch it shake your feathers, make your pants dance - Look out, we're gonna crash land! [Distant bass thuds] - [Quacks] - Whoo-hoo! Look out, duck town! Rocket van comin' through! - [Quacks] [Quacks] - Buhdeuce, are you ready to deliver some more of this beautiful bread? - Yup yup.
- Then what's our next stop? - 14th and chickwood.
An order for two loads of huckleberry spaghetti bread.
- Roger that! [Horn beeps] - [Quacks] Both: Whoo! - Another satisfied customer.
- Next delivery.
One loaf of bubblegum rye.
Extra sprinkles.
- Approaching destination.
Hook shot! - [Quacks] - In yo beak! - Oh, boy, we got a big one.
100 loaves of 47-grain.
Daisy waddleton's tenth birthday party.
- Aw, b-day bread comin' at ya! Release the loaves! - Buh-buh-buh-buh-Booty kick! [Ducks quack] [Ducks quack] [Laughter] Man, being a breadwinner is the best job ever! - I will eat to that.
- All right, we've got 12 loaves of bread left.
Where to next? - Buh, swaysway, I got some bad news.
We don't have any more orders.
- But then all that wonderful bread will go toWaste! [Both scream] [Explosion] This is awful.
Breadwinners are supposed to deliver all of their bread.
We still got 12 extra loaves left.
- Ugh, all that crusty, tender-y goodness, wasted.
- All those tasty precious grains, squandered.
- But can't we just deliver them tomorrow? - Naw, man.
Nobody wants day-old bread.
[Both sigh] [Alarm quacks] - Holy guacamole, all right! We got another order! - Ninja roll, cartwheel, somersault, flip! It's an order for a dozen loaves.
- Perfect! - To the worst part of duck town.
- Wait, you mean-- - the lower yeast side.
[Alarms blare] [Screaming] Nuh-uh.
Count me out.
- But, dude, we're breadwinners.
This is what we born to do.
What's our motto? - No matter the challenge, no matter what we always deliver and never give up - I can't hear you.
- No matter the challenge, no matter what we always deliver and never give up - Say it again! - No matter the challenge, no matter what we always deliver and never give up And let's go do this thing right now! - That's what I'm talking about! Both: Party punch! Pow! - [Quacks] - I changed my mind.
I wanna go home.
- Okay, we get in, we get out, and we'll be home before you know it.
Just don't make eye contact with anyone.
- Not making eye contact, not making eye contact, not making--oof! - [Quacks] - [Yelps] - I got ya.
[Doorbell rings] - Come on, come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
[Doorbell rings] - Open the door, please! - Did you order a dozen loaves of bread? - [Quacks] - Whoo-hoo! We did it! - We delivered all the bread - all the bread - all the bread we found a new home both: for a dozen loaves of bread - Speaking of home, we should probably be getting out of here.
Just have to find my keys.
[Laughs nervously] Gotta be around here somewhere.
- Hurry up! We're sitting ducks out here.
- Nope.
Huh, been looking for that.
[Horn honks] I just realized where I left them.
- So you're telling me you locked the keys in the rocket van and now we're stuck in the lower yeast side with no way of getting home? - Yep, pretty much.
- [Clears throat] [Inhales] [Screams] - Wait, don't! The rocket van is equipped with a high tech security System.
- I'm getting out of here if I have to climb through that windo-- [screams] [Woman screams] - [Yells] I thought you loved us, rocket van! - Look on the bright side.
Things couldn't possibly get any worse.
[Motorcycles roar] [Both gasp] - Biker ducks! - Quick, hide! - [Quacks] [Quacks] - Those ducks are quazy.
- Quazy? Yes.
But if they can break into all of those vehicles, I bet they can help us break into the rocket van.
- But they won't help us.
Biker ducks only help other biker ducks.
- Right, which is why I have the perfect disguise.
Both: L-l-l-l-level up! Biker ducks! - What up, my ducky ducks.
- [Quacks] - I know, this is your turf.
My respect.
- [Quacks] - Oh, boy.
We're goners.
- Hey, hey, look.
We're all biker ducks here.
We should team up and break into things.
Like that rocket van.
- [Quacks] - Because it's filled to the brim with taste-tacular bread.
- Yeah--wait, no! Sway, we delivered all the brea-- - shh, I think they're buying it.
- [Quacks] [Quacking] [Both yelp] [All quack] - [Chuckles] Did I say it was filled with bread? I meant it was totally empty.
[Gasps] Oh, no, not the ladle.
- Hey, let me through.
That's my buddy in there.
Swaysway, I'm coming! Whoa-kay.
I'm coming in.
I'm in.
Whoa! I'm out! - [Yelps] Yikes! Okay, you want some of this? Yah! Ow! Oh, time out, time out.
I call time out.
- Whoa, I'm falling! Look out below! - Good-bye, cool world.
- [Screams] - [Quacks] [Both scream] - Monster in the alley! - [Quacks] Both: Whoa.
[All quack] - What are they saying? - You defeated their leader, so now they're making you buhdeuce Von deuce bersukovich the first, their new leader.
- Me? Leader of the biker ducks? - Yeah, man.
You'll get to ride a motorcycle.
- [Yelps] - You'll meet lots of interesting ducks.
- [Screams] - And you'll go places you've never gone before.
- [Screams] I don't wanna be leader of the biker ducks.
Swaysway! - Buhdeuce! Hold tight.
- It's no use.
Save yourself.
I'm toast.
- Uh-uh.
Have you forgotten our motto? - Um, yes? - No matter the challenge, no matter what, we always deliver and? - And? - N-n-n? - N-n-n-n? - N-n-n-n-n? - N-n-n n-n-n? Both: NeVer? - Guh.
- Guh? - Gih.
- Gih.
Both: GiVe.
- Uh.
- Uh? Up! Never give up! Never give up! - [Whispers] Never give up.
- Let's ditch these biker ducks! Okay, listen up, you guys.
As your new leader, I order you to stand tall, look tough, and line up for a group photo.
Now back it up a little.
A little more.
Just a little bit more.
Now close your eyes.
- Three, two, run! Punch it! - [Growls] [Laughs] We did it! We ditched the biker ducks.
- Yeah! We'll never see those mindless feather brains again.
[Laughter] [Quacking] Both: Did you--was that-- - oh, bubble nuggets.
Uh, hey, guys.
You're not mad about the whole us ditching you thing, are you? - [Roars] [Both scream] - Monster from the alley! [Both scream] If we don't think of something fast, they are totally gonna kick our Booty.
- Kick Booty? Ding! Booty kick! [Quacking] - Yeah, buhdeuce! You saved us with your butt.
- My what? - Your butt, your butt you saved us with your butt - oh, my butt I saved us with my butt - and thanks to your butt we ditched those biker ducks - yeah, that's right Both: 'cause we never give up Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Yeah! [Alarm clock beeping] - That's the alarm going beep, beep, beep time to wakey wake, get on your feet - Okay, I'm on my-- ugh! Face.
- What a great day to be a breadwinner whether you're an expert or a beginner - Swaysway, a little help here.
- Down, down, down, two ducks goin' down into the bread mines deep underground - are we there yet? - no - are we there yet? - no - are we there yet? - nope - are we there yet? - Put on your hat and grab yo axe now off we go both: on the bread mine tracks - [grunts] [Tearing] Oh, boy.
Wedgie in my butt crack.
[Alarm blares] - [Over p.
System] Keep your hands in the cart at all times.
Remember, safety first in the bread mines.
Both: Yay! [Bones crack] Ow.
- No rocks, no stones, no dirt, no granite just tons of bread make up this planet - Mmm, this planet tastes good.
Nom, nom, nom.
- Jelly-filled alfalfa - rainbow confetti - look up there both: huckleberry spaghetti - holy wheat - lumpernickel - bubblegum rye so much bread - buh, is that a monster eye? - [Roars] Both: Aahh! Wheee! - We got no breaks - we're going too fast - hold on tight, we're gonna crash - Buh [Groans] Where are we? - Somewhere between lost and totally lost.
- Aw, bubble nuggets! Now how are we gonna get home? - Perhaps I can help.
Oh, yeah! Greetings, my aquatic bread-loving friends.
Both: Whoa! - Is it really you? - We thought you were just a legend.
- It is I, the bread maker, the Baker of bread, yielder of yeast, and deliverer of dough.
But you can call me dude, man.
- Wow, dude-man, what is this place? - This is my man-cave, where I make all the planet's bread.
Behold! Flour power! [Rock music] Both: Whoa! Magic! - I just have to say We are, like, your biggest fans.
- You're my hero.
- Thank you, swaysway and buhdeuce.
- He knows our names.
The bread maker knows our names.
- My mind is officially-- [explosion] - [Laughs] Of course I know your names.
You two breadwinners are the last of your kind.
It's up to you to carry on the noble tradition of delivering my righteous bread.
- You can count on us, bread maker.
- [Muffled] Yeah, you can count on us.
- Now then, it is time for you to go.
Open sesame seeds! - But we don't want to go.
- Yeah, we want to stay here with you and make bread.
- Rise, my ducklings.
Rise like the yeast that inspires ye.
Both: Whoa, whoa! [Laughter] - Oh, bread maker, will we ever see you again? - You bet your buns.
Take this magic toaster.
By rubbing it, you can summon me at any time.
- Awesomeness! - But remember Only use it in case of emergency.
- Good-bye, bread maker.
- [Whispers] We love you.
- I cannot believe we actually met the bread maker! - He moved me with his mind, and I will never be the same.
- I know it's only been eight seconds since we saw him, and I don't know if this is weird, but I miss him.
- Let's call him up! [Brakes screech] - Wait.
He said we could only use it in case of emergency.
But Why wait for a real emergency to find out if it works.
- We better test it now.
Both: rub-a-dub-dub rub-a-dub-doo oh, mighty bread maker we summon you - greetings, bread heads.
- It totally works! - Totally.
- What seems to be thy emergency? - BuhMy shoelace is untied.
- Yeah, sure is good you got here before he tripped.
- Okay.
Shoelace, tie thyself! [Shimmering tone] Farewell, again, my ducklings.
- Aww, I already miss him again.
- Ooh, yeah, that's the stuff.
[Beeping] Ooh, bread beeper.
This must be important.
- Bread maker, are your pecs bigger or smaller than coconuts? - Well, this is not an emergency, but Bigger.
- What? No way! - Oh, yeah! [Shouting gibberish] - No way! - 4,006, 4,007.
[Beeping] [Sighs] Oh, here we go again.
- Bread maker, what's your favorite type of bread? - I love all breads equally, man.
- Bread maker, how did you get so cool? - Can you do this? - Where do you see yourself in five years? - Do you poop? - Of course I poop! Everybody poops! - I knew it.
- [Sighs] I bet it smells like freshly baked bread.
- Now look, guys, I am one busy hombre.
I can't be answering your calls every 10 seconds.
- How about every 15 seconds? - No.
Now if you summon me one more time and it's not an emergency, I'm taking away the toaster.
Both: [Gasping] No! Anything but that! - Remember, emergencies only.
- You know that bread maker tastes pretty good.
- I still have so many questions for the bread maker.
Like, do you think his tights ever get itchy? - I don't know.
Let's ask him.
- Dude, no! - Dude, yes! [Overlapping shouting] - [Gasps] Both: [Gasping] Noo! - Our magic toaster! - We have to go after it.
- Ooh! Ah-ah! - Ooh! Ah! [Both grunting] Both: row, row, row your cart quickly down the stream - of fire - merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Both: merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a scream aahh! - [Gasps] Look! - Well, looky here.
- Excuse me, lava mole.
That's actually our toaster.
- Oh, you want your toaster back, do you? Both: Yes, please.
- Well, you can't have it.
It's mine now.
Mine, all mine.
[Laughs wickedly] - Why you gotta steal our toaster? - Because! I've lived down here my whole life, and I'm sick of eating bread.
Bread! Bread! Bread! Bread! Now I can finally eat something completely different-- toast.
[Laughs] - But--but that's not just any toaster-- it's a magic toaster.
- Magic shmagic.
As long as it makes toast.
[Crunches] Mmm Toast.
[Blissful music] - Come on, now's our chance.
[Music stops] [Roars] Get back here, you lousy quackers! [Grunts] [Shouts] I'll teach you to take what I say is mine.
- Quick, it's really an emergency this time.
Summon the bread maker! Both: rub-a-dub-dub rub-a-dub-doo oh, mighty bread maker we summon you [beeping] - Nah.
- Why isn't it working? - I don't know.
Rub harder! - [Growls] [Both grunting] [Beeping] - I'm not listening.
[Both grunting] [Beeping] - Okay, okay! This better be good.
- [Growls] Both: Aah! - Mommy! - [Cackling] Prepare to be roast meat.
- I wouldn't do that if I were you, amigo.
- Huh? Both: The bread maker! - Ooh, yeah [video game announcer] Fight! - Kick him right in the bread basket.
- You get him, bread maker.
[Video game announcer] K.
! - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Yeah, bread maker! - That's what I'm talkin' about! - GiveMeMyToaster! - This dude just won't quit.
- Remember, the best way to conquer your enemies is with loaf.
[Snaps fingers] - [Gasps] Mine, it's mine! All mine! - Bread maker, you are the coolest guy on the planet.
- In the planet, amigo.
I'm the coolest guy in the planet.
[Laughter] Yeah.
- So, do your tights ever get itchy? - Whoo! - r-r-r-r-rocket van delivering bread in a rocket van my name is swaysway and this buhdeuce - yep yep.
- Yeah.
Duck party! - Get Jimmy quackers in here I'm a duck, he's a duck quack quack wiki-quack quack a duck [scatting] All: rocket van