Breeders (2020) s03e05 Episode Script

No Can Do

1 - Who is it? - It's a murderer.
I've come to murder you both with a big gun.
Thank Christ for that.
Come up.
Posh coffees? Wowzers.
You certainly look like you're on top of everything.
I bloody am.
We're gonna save this company, Darren.
- Guaranteed.
- All aboard! The pitch proposal you emailed me, I don't fully understand it, but it looks superb.
Yeah, I'm feeling incredibly positive about this.
I'm only sorry there's nothing I can do, you know, financially.
Everything I've got now is in my mother's name.
- Yeah, right.
No, yeah, you said.
- It's complicated.
Mum's a company for tax reasons, so sometimes I have to refer to her as "Property Solutions, Limited" in letters.
- Yeah.
- And once accidentally in a birthday card.
Oh, it's bank manager afternoon, isn't it? - Good luck.
- Oh, have you thought any more about whether you want a party for your birthday? Yeah, I'm fine.
I don't want one.
Oh, come on.
It would be great.
You're only 11 once unless you're a Buddhist.
They clock up a few.
I don't really enjoy being the center of attention.
But you deserve to be.
Come on, Ava.
- Grab life by the well, what is it? - Ballbag.
- Scruff of the neck.
- Sorry.
And tap into your mother's amazing positive energy.
I'll have a birthday party.
But a small one.
We'll only invite atoms.
Can you just put those together for me, please? Mm.
You won't have hurt your back lugging our shopping, would you? No, no.
No, I'm being good about going to the gym.
It's really helping.
And I've stopped smoking.
Oh, that's good news.
Thanks for gettin' all that, Paul.
At times, it feels like we're housebound up here.
- Hmm.
- It's such a palaver just getting down the stairs to go out.
And then you have to come back up again.
That's the way it works with stairs, innit? And the lift's knackered a lot of the time, but we don't like to complain.
- No? - Oh, we moan a bit, but we're happy enough.
It's just a bit claustrophobic up here, you know? Hmm.
I should take you both for a drive soon.
Out into the countryside.
See some sky.
Oh, that'd be nice.
We miss looking out on a bit of greenery.
That garden flat's about to become vacant, but we couldn't afford the rent.
Well, uh, no guarantees, but I'm up for a promotion at work again.
Helen's moving on.
Is she the girl you lost out to last time? Much younger.
Went to Cambridge.
Why have you remembered that? Yes, her.
Anyway, this time round, there's no one on the team they can realistically appoint ahead of me.
So, hopefully, I'll have a bit more money.
I can help you out with the rent.
No, no, son you don't need to Look, no, Dad.
Honestly, if I can, I will.
It just depends on what happens with Ally's work, you know.
But she seems upbeat about rescuing the business.
She's a clever sausage, that one.
Mm, and a smart cookie.
That's why I married her.
Mains and afters.
- We're a bit early.
- Should we just nip into the pub for ten minutes, take the edge off? Could score some coke.
Do a couple of lines.
They're probably all on coke, anyway.
It's mainly bankers who do it these days.
All the pop stars are on hibiscus tea and collagen powder, aren't they? Oh, it's a topsy-turvy world.
Very dapper.
Looks like we're about to get married, doesn't it? - No.
- No, actually.
All right, here we go then.
Hey, should we just rob the fucking bank instead? Well, let's see how it goes.
Have that as our Plan B, huh? Yeah! You're right.
Let's smash this.
It's the utter lack of imagination that gets me! You know, unable to think outside the box for one second.
I mean, I feel sorry for them.
I do.
I feel genuine sadness and empathy for those miserable dog fuckers.
Yeah, they did dismiss our pitch quite quickly.
- I am so angry.
- With me? - With them! - Great! But it's a good anger.
It's good.
It's good.
It's making me even more determined to succeed.
Ooh, like, ahh! There's a fuck of a lot of energy - just coursing through me right now.
- Oh, I can feel it.
It's like sitting near an electricity substation.
So what's our next move? Can we crowdfund? Mm, we'd need too much, I think.
Uh, it's a terrific thought, though.
Well, uh, find investors then.
Venture capital.
The hedge fund fuckers.
- We're not an attractive proposition.
- Ugh.
Until we're solvent again, they won't wanna touch us.
I mean, these are no-risk guys.
Seat belts and airbags.
But I could Could look again.
Yes, do it, Darren! You've got rich friends.
Call them up.
Blackmail them.
I absolutely know that I can save this business if we just get the money.
- No, I believe you.
- You're brilliant.
I am.
I am fucking brilliant.
Okay, I'll add this to the playlist.
Now how about some proper dance music? - Do I want people dancing? - Of course you want people dancing.
- It's a party.
- I just don't want a lot of fuss.
You are going to have a ton of fuss.
- You tell her, Grace.
- Hey, you look a tiny bit like you're looking forward to this party, Ava.
She's gonna love it.
Oh, Paul, Mum and Alex asked us for dinner on Thursday night.
Oh, cool.
All right, well we can celebrate my promotion.
- Hopefully.
- Yes.
I-I'm not counting my chickens.
- I know I've lost out before.
- No, no, no, no, no.
You're definitely gonna get this big work chicken.
Cheers, hon.
Yeah, I'll buy him some headphones.
Whoa! These things can kill you if you're not careful, right? Yeah.
What floor? - Uh, four, please.
- Oh, right.
Same as mine.
Okay Hi.
I'm Brandon Marsh.
Paul Worsley.
Paul Worsley.
Honored to meet you, man.
The king of Urban Ambition's knife crime policy.
Well, that's my section.
I don't know I'm king of it.
Oh, I can't wait to get into that whole area, Paul.
So good.
It's great we could share this moment.
I will.
There's the man himself.
- Paul - That bloke's getting Helen's job, isn't he? - Shit.
I am so sorry.
- No, no, don't be.
No, I should be.
He wasn't gonna be flying in until next week.
- Flying in? - He's relocating from Chicago.
The board wanted him got him.
He'll be our new Helen-Plus, sort of co-running everything with me.
I'm I'm sorry we've sprung this on you.
But is he actually called Brandon, though? - Isn't that just in films? - I know.
- But he seems like a good guy.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, great.
No, I mean seriously.
If he's so good at his job that they want to fly him in from Chicago, then more power to him.
You seem pretty Zen about it all.
- I know I do, don't I? - Mm-hmm.
I suppose I must be then.
See ya in a bit.
- Knock-knock.
- Come in.
Got you some headphones, quarter-inch jack for the amp.
- Ah, thank you, Dad.
- You're welcome.
- Haven't been too loud, have I? - No, no.
It's just just for late night practice.
Oh, okay.
Is everything all right? Mm-hmm.
I I didn't get that promotion.
Oh, no, Dad.
I'm really sorry.
You must feel horrible.
Well The thing is, mate, no I don't.
Not really.
I mean, the money would've been great, but the job itself, it's I think I've realized that I'm not an ambitious man.
- I'm happy doing what I'm doing.
- Okay.
Work is just work to me.
It doesn't thrill me.
Doesn't not thrill me.
I just do it.
And they've clearly picked up on that.
Why are you talking to me about this, Dad? W-Well, uh Well, 'cause Mum's in a different headspace at the moment.
She's all sort of go-getting.
Don't think she wants to hear this.
But I, yeah, I I thought you'd get it.
- I do get it.
- Good.
Right, dinner in about an hour? - Great.
- Cool.
- Thanks, Dad.
- Thanks, mate.
Ah, one sec.
I'll get it.
Oh, hi, Paul.
I, uh, I took in a parcel for you.
Thanks, Carl.
Yeah, I was waiting for something myself, actually.
Similarly from Amazon.
- Same sort of size.
- Right.
Yeah, I was quite nonplussed at first when they said, uh, - "Can you take this in for next door?" - Right.
I said, "Well, why would they want it?" - Then it clicked.
- Mm-hmm.
Just a matter of seconds, but it is funny what your brain does.
It is funny what your brain does.
Thanks very much, Carl.
- Oh, uh, party? - Yep.
We're just, um prepping for Ava's birthday in a couple of days.
I think that's what this is, actually.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Yeah - Okay.
Thanks again.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Oh, I - Oh, boy.
I'm always happy to take in a parcel for you.
- Are you? - Unless it's a grand piano.
You know, but even then, I do have a porch out in the back, so - Listen, I've got Thank you.
- Yep.
Hey up, everyone.
Balloons! Wonder if I can blow these up now that I'm a nonsmoker.
- I never could before.
- Give it a go.
I'll give it a go.
Stand back.
Oh, come on, lungs.
That's hard.
Blow Blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow, blow.
That's not bad, is it? Yay! If that's fucking Carl, I'm gonna get a restraining order.
We're Grace's parents.
Oh, yes, of course.
Of course.
Hello again.
We need to take Grace home.
Something terrible has happened.
Oh, no.
Uh we lost Grace's cousin Ethan earlier today.
There was an accident on the motorway.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
Uh, come in.
Grace is just upstairs.
Ava immediately wanted to cancel, of course, but then Grace messaged her and said that she had to go ahead with the party It wasn't disrespectful.
No, she'd met this cousin, what, like once? - Once.
- Yeah.
The family were devastated, of course.
But good for Grace, she said Ava shouldn't cancel.
How old was the cousin? Mid-twenties.
- Ohh.
- Mm.
This is all fantastic, by the way.
- Really delicious.
- It's all Alex's doing.
Leah is an excellent sous chef.
I grate a bit of cheese, then drink gin in the sitting room.
How's work treating you, Paul? Oh, well - Not incredibly tenderly, Alex.
- Oh.
- If I'm honest.
- Oh? I mean, it's fine.
Uh Well, I was up for a promotion.
It was Helen's old job.
The young Cambridge girl? - Yeah.
- Paul didn't get the job because the board of trustees don't have any vision, like like the bloody banks.
Still no joy raising capital? Um, no, but I am not giving up.
We've been having a big discussion over the last few days.
Your mother and I have great faith in you, Ally, - and we've made a decision.
- Mm.
We're both prepared to release the equity on our houses in order to give you the capital you need to rescue your business.
You need access to cash, and we can provide it.
And we know you're gonna make a big success of the business.
And you'll be able to pay us back.
Oh, oh.
- Darling.
- Hey.
I'm so sor I'm sorry.
I'm just g I'm just - Babe - Sorry.
She's overwhelmed.
So am I.
That's incredibly generous of you.
Well, wow.
Here's to both of you.
Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
You didn't stop crying all the way home.
This isn't happy crying, is it? - I can't do it, Paul.
- Mm-hmm.
The moment Mum and Alex offered me the money, - I knew in a second.
- Knew what? I can't save this business.
Of course I fucking can't.
How am I meant to save this business? You've got a pitch document.
Oh, it's pie in the sky, positive thinking, silver linings bullshit.
It makes no real sense.
And Darren is a hopeless twerp, so he's got no idea.
He's just impressed that I can use Excel.
- So am I.
- I mean, deep down I knew that no one was ever gonna give us that amount.
Not after the way we collapsed.
So, I was safe pretending that I could save the business if I just had enough fucking cash.
So, you don't think you'd be able to pay your mum and Alex back? No, of course not.
And it's everything they have in the world.
I cannot be responsible for losing that.
So What's next? I don't know.
I genuinely don't know.
Ah, you know how fucked everything is with my health because I can't get my proper HRT, and you know how bad things are with Ava.
I just I couldn't bear to accept that this job that I love, that I have devoted myself to for the last ten years, was over.
But it is.
Oh, what is the point of me, Paul? - Ally - Please, tell me.
What is the point of me? Stop that.
All right.
Uh, but Look, I wanna bring something new and useful to this phenomenal organization.
But for now, I just wanna watch and learn.
See how you guys operate.
Oh, and my card is behind the bar at the King's Arms if you'd care to join me after work.
- Do any of you guys drink? - Yeah.
Then I will see you there tonight.
Okay? - Thank you.
- Cheers, Brandon.
Thanks, man.
Paul! What can I do for you? Um, did I hear you mention the Seattle Initiative just then? - Yeah.
You know it? - Yeah.
It's the thing where you print true stories of knife-crime victims on the lids of chicken-shop boxes - and inside burger wrappers, or - Yeah.
It hits the demographic hard.
I want us to try it.
'Cause with respect, Brandon, I don't like it.
I think it's gimmicky.
It's a bit offensive and, frankly, classist.
- See, we have a policy - I know your policy.
You've had the same policy for 15 years.
Yeah, 'cause it works.
Um I mean, okay, it's the thing that fails least.
We invest in community projects, youth services.
With equal respect, Paul, I think that's a tired approach.
Brandon, again, with respect, it's not tired.
It might be boring, sure.
But it makes a difference.
It saves lives.
I admire much about this organization, Paul, but its knife-crime policies are moribund.
Oh, boy.
I "Moribund"? Yeah.
I'd like us to use that money to trial the Seattle Initiative.
- Well, I don't want us to.
- I am getting that.
So, maybe we take you off this area of policy.
No no, obviously you can't take me off.
I've I've been on the knife-crime policy for years.
That is my point, man.
- I think we need change.
- No, we don't.
I'm good at this.
Really? How many times you been passed up for promotion, Paul? Fuck you, shithouse.
Don't talk to me like that.
Yeah, I'm Yeah, I'm sorry.
Let's maybe both take a step back.
Yeah, no, look it's Brandon, I didn't know if I really felt passionately about this job anymore.
And it turns out, actually, that I do.
So, I-I'm sorry, Brandon.
I lost it for a second.
I need to get some things done now, Paul, so Sure.
More sweets, more chocolate, more Cokes.
I'm like the inverse Tooth Fairy.
- You got visitors.
- Hmm? We're early, aren't we? Ninety minutes, yeah.
That's going some, even by your standards.
- We didn't wanna get here late.
- Ah.
There's two buses.
Hey, look, I'm I'm sorry again about not being able to stump up the extra rent.
Oh, don't worry about that, Paul.
We're all right in our little flat.
It's warm, the cooker works, there's a toilet.
Jesus, Mum, don't just settle for that.
Compared to most of the world, we live in the lap of luxury.
You need to count your blessings.
Check your privilege, they say now.
Is that the same as counting your blessings? I think so.
Just you're meant to feel a bit more guilty.
I'll get it.
Brandon's lodged an official complaint with me and HR accusing you of using foul, aggressive, and offensive language that borders on workplace bullying.
He said "foul"? Captain-fucking-Moribund said "foul," did he? Anyway, he's my boss.
How can I bully my boss? I came round because it goes without saying we'd rather resolve this grievance informally, if possible, - and avoid suspension or - Suspension? Now, obviously there'd be procedural fairness with you being fully supported - in putting your side of events, Paul.
- Hmm.
- But between us, mate - Mm-hmm.
if Brandon's right about what you said No, I called him a shithouse.
'Cause he was being a shithouse.
Anyway, it's not like I called him a cunt.
I need to stay in this job, Nadia.
Tell me what I have to do.
To resolve this informally, Brandon wants a spoken apology, at work, with me present, where you admit to threatening and bullying behavior.
Well, no, I mean he can fuck himself to the moon.
I mean really, to the moon.
I understand, yeah.
- Think about it, Paul.
- Mm.
Okay? Call me later.
Sorry, it's Yeah.
Ally doesn't want the money, Paul.
Is that right? Yeah.
It's complicated, but, um She you know, she really, uh she really appreciates the offer.
You're gonna have to be her rock, Paul.
- Sorry, that sounded like "rock pool.
" - Ah.
I meant, Paul, you're gonna have to be her rock.
No, I understood, yeah.
I'll be as rocky as I can be.
Uh, excuse me.
- Hi.
- Hey.
It's going well, isn't it? Well, it looks like it.
Well done for persuading her to have a party.
- I think she'll be really glad of it.
- Oh, I hope so.
Doing something right would make a change, heh.
So now would be a bad time for me to lose my job, wouldn't it? - What? You're losing your job, too? - No, no, no, no.
It's It's there's a new guy at work.
- Chad? - Brandon.
- And he's being a bit - No, no.
You cannot resign now.
No, we'd have nothing coming in.
No, I know.
I won't.
- What's he been doing, this Brad? - Chad.
- Brandon.
- Brandon.
Yeah, um He's just a bit I don't know.
It's Nothing.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Right, you lot, after three, we're gonna sing "Happy Birthday.
" Right? And if anyone tries to do the harmony on the last line, then you're out on your ear, okay? So one, two, three.
Happy birthday to you ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ Happy birthday, dear Ava ♪ - Grace! - Oh, my God, Grace.
You poor thing.
Your poor cousin.
Happy birthday to you ♪ - Shit.
- I cried so hard Gracie, I'm so pleased you could come.
Are you okay? I'm sorry.
I came in at the wrong time.
Everyone was singing to you.
- It's fine.
- Happy birthday.
Come and have some cake.
Birthday girl.
Big blow, please.
Make a wish.
Who said cake? Everyone? All right.
When I couldn't find you, I, uh I guessed you'd be here.
It felt horrible.
I didn't want the attention.
Then I did.
Then it went, and I was so embarrassed.
Yeah, I know.
I despised Grace for stealing the attention from me.
Then I felt un-Christian.
You are not un-Christian, Ava.
You are whatever the opposite of un-Christian is.
- Christian.
- Oh, yeah.
Then Mum left.
She just walked out.
She'd have known how upset I was, and she just left.
Well, she'll have a good reason.
Just not sure I like Mum anymore.
Hey, please don't say that.
I love her.
She's my mum.
That's how it works, I just I just don't think I like her.
You're upset, Ava.
Okay? You're upset, and you're allowed to be.
I didn't want this stupid party anyway.
No, I know.
I only said yes to make Mum feel better.
- Hey, hon.
- I'm so sorry, love.
I had to rush out.
Is Ava okay? Uh, yeah, sort of.
I got a text from a pharmacy about an hour away.
They had my estrogen gel in stock.
Oh, right.
You finally scored some of the good stuff.
Oh, yeah, baby.
It's right in front of me.
I've never been more Ally? Hon? Hello? Whew! I'm fine.
Don't worry.
Bike's a bit bent, but I've just got, uh, cuts and bruises and a ooh Sort of gash on my leg, now I look at it.
Come in.
- Cuppa tea, mate.
- Oh, lovely.
Thank you.
- That's all right.
- How's Mum? - Oh, my God, Carl.
I'm so sorry.
- Um, still shaken up.
- Yep.
- She was terrified she might have maimed someone, even after she realized it was only Carl.
- Oh! Sorry about the tires.
- No, you - And Ava? - Phew.
Not brilliant.
Yeah, she's not in the best of places with Mum at the minute.
And you? Do you know what? Until recently, I'd never lost my temper at work.
And I never even raised my voice.
Can you believe that? No, not really.
Because I thought work was just work.
Right? And I've since discovered that's not entirely true.
I just discovered it a little bit too late.
Oh, man, you gotta do something you love, Luke, for a living.
Keep practicing, mate.
And I'd like to say, Brandon, that I wish to apologize, unreservedly, for the clearly aggressive and foul language that I used.
Uh which I now realize did border on workplace bullying.
Thank you.
It's appreciated.
And it's water under the bridge.
Let's start making some changes, Paul.
What do you say? - Yeah.
- Yeah? Great.
Can't wait.

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