Breeders (2020) s03e08 Episode Script

No Way Back

Yeah, I know, Ally, I get it
But to be honest, love,
I don't really care
about what she wants.
No, h-hear me out.
Ava doesn't know what she wants
because she's 11, right?
She can't vote, she can't fight in a war
or get a tattoo or ride a moped.
Some things she just
has no control over.
And that's some
Okay, they're here. Barbie and Ken.
Uh, better go.
No. No, I-I know we haven't,
but, you know, we can talk
more when I'm on the road, eh?
Christ Almighty. Fuck me ragged.
Sir, Madam, your carriage awaits.
My apologies. The
Mercedes is in the garage
and the Jag is being gold-plated
by nude supermodels in Monaco.
Not again. They do a dreadful job.
They are shit with heavy
machinery, aren't they?
They need to rethink the
whole operation, if you ask me.
- Yeah.
- I suppose this'll have to do us.
We don't mind slumming it, Paul.
- Ooh.
- Oh Jesus, Mum.
You know, it's a day trip
to the Malvern Hills.
It's not trekking across Peru.
Just a few bits and bobs.
Extra coats, et cetera. Might get parky.
It's already parky.
Parkier then.
I can't Which thing
does the wossname go into?
It's the one furthest away from you.
Well, that's very counterintuitive.
Okay, all buckled in and ready?
- Yep.
- Ready to go.
All right, let's roll.
Oh, that song's just
come into my head.
"Memories." What's it called?
- Is it called "Memories"?
- "The Way We Were."
- That's it.
- Oh, yeah.
I was thinking of it because
I've got such lovely
memories of this trip
and you taking us up
to the Malvern Hills.
Two days was it, after
you passed your test?
Nice little car, that first car.
Yeah, it was a Siesta, wasn't it?
Almost, Mum. Sierra. F730 DMX.
Funny way to spell Sierra.
Ah, I knew you were gonna say that.
Well, I never like to disappoint.
Ah. Ultimate dad joke.
Well, I'm the ultimate dad.
Are we having lunch at that same pub?
- Is it still there?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, I checked.
It still looks pretty much the same,
from what I could see online.
I can remember exactly what we all had.
I had the cheese ploughman's.
- Mm.
- You had fish and chips, Paul.
- Classic me.
- And I had a massive Yorkshire pudding,
filled to the brim with minced beef.
Fuckin' hell. Very Raymond Blanc.
Oh, it was delicious.
It's a very old pub, isn't it?
Well, on their website, they say
that the fire in the
hearth has never gone out
in something like 220 years.
Continually alight since the
Battle of Trafalgar or something.
- Waterloo, one of them.
- Wow.
- That's very impressive.
- Mm.
- Although it's probably balls.
- Probably balls, yeah.
Anyway, it was a terrific day out.
It was.
This is a very kind thing to do.
Yeah. Thank you, Paul. We appreciate it.
It was a special day.
So I thought, "Why not recreate it?"
And I've been wanting to get you
two out of that pokey little flat.
Have some space around
you, rather than
all this.
Oh, this is lovely, Paul.
Just the drive is lovely,
never mind the rest.
I'd be happy just to drive
and drive down these roads.
It's good to see
the horizon, isn't it?
The sky's on the ration in London.
You can only really see it if you lie
on your back and stare straight up.
So if you're sunbathing
or just been run over.
- Exactly.
- Mm.
Or you've fallen out of a plane.
- No, you'd be dead then.
- You would be dead then, yeah.
I'm a Londoner, born and bred, but
I sometimes wonder if I like it anymore.
Well now, you've always been
a proud Londoner, haven't you, Mum?
I have, but it's
silly, really, isn't it?
Being proud of something that
you've had nothing to do with.
- Mm.
- Accident of birth.
And what if I'd been born in Liverpool?
- I'd be a proud Liverpudlian.
- Ah.
Or Dubai. I'd be a
proud "Dubai-dlian."
I don't think that's what
they call themselves, but
But it's nothing
to do with me, is it?
- With my achievements or my failures.
- Mm.
It's what you do that matters.
That's what you should
be proud or ashamed of.
The things you choose to
do. And the things you don't.
You're a bit of a philosopher
on the quiet, aren't you?
Touch of the old Bertrand Russells.
It's that book club she belongs to.
If you forget to tick the box,
they send you all the
thinky stuff as a punishment.
Uh, satnav's saying
the pub's up here.
Just past that church, isn't it?
- Very pretty.
- You both hungry?
- Starving.
- I could eat a horse and his mate.
- And some chips.
- Hmm.
And then his other mate.
Ah, there it is.
Mine's a pint of bitter.
And I'll have yours, too, Paul,
if you're driving.
No, I get it. Of course I get it.
It means she'll join a
year after everyone else,
and she'll just do year seven
at the other place but
And that's terrifying!
- That's not terrifying. Come on.
- Ugh!
Have you ever been to school, Paul?
Come on! I mean, it's
hard enough making friends,
but then having to leave
them after a year
Yeah, but she'll already have friends
there from primary school, won't she?
That's the whole fuckin'
thing All of her friends,
apart from Grace, will
be at the shit school.
- It's not shit!
- Fine.
The school that's not as good as
the school she would be going to
if she hadn't deliberately
failed the exam how's that?
Ohh! She's She's in
a very low place at the moment.
And I'm very sorry to hear that, but
honestly, hon, that's
her lookout, isn't it?
If she wants to make amends
and just be happier,
then she's gotta retake that exam.
Well, fundamentally,
we disagree. You're wrong.
Well we maybe need to stop
having this conversation then.
That's one thing
we can fuckin' agree on.
Hi, Jackie!
Hi, love.
Hi, Jim!
He's having a kip, Ally.
Nice lunch?
Beautiful, thanks.
Great. See you later, Paul.
Sorry about that. I don't
want to spoil the trip.
You're sure Ava didn't
just do badly in this exam?
- You're sure it wasn't nerves?
- No, Mum.
No, she admitted she
deliberately failed.
And now she's screwed up her life.
There's be a way out.
There's always a way out.
Is there?
Sometimes, it's a tough decision,
but yes.
Well, I don't know, Mum.
- Paul
- Mm-hmm?
Oh, I must have dropped off.
What have I missed?
Um, Mum, Mum What were you gonna say?
Uh, no, nothing. Just
thanks again, love.
It was a lovely lunch.
Bit posher than last time.
Yeah, more heritage tomatoes,
less edible bucket of mints.
How long until we get to
some sort of civilization?
Mm, 15, 20 minutes, maybe?
Right. I don't think me
bladder'll hold up till then.
Jesus Christ, Dad,
you went to the toilet
three times in the pa
No, hang on, four
Just as we were leaving.
You said, "I better
squeeze a last one out."
You're worse than Luke used to be.
You wait till your prostate enlarges
to the size of the moon.
It's a wonder I can hold it in this long
and I'm not continually urinating.
Like mice.
It's 'cause I dropped
off to sleep, you see.
- That's the trigger.
- Hmm.
Bladder fills up like a cistern.
Can we just stop
at the next lay-by
and I'll find the nearest bush?
All right, just give me a sec.
Really, I'm bursting.
It's like a spacehopper down there.
Here, look. Look, look.
See down there?
Clump of bushes. Use that.
Mind you, it's a fair old trek, mind.
It's either that or good-bye dignity.
And trousers.
Go on then. Off you pop, Pissy Spacek.
And And watch out for
the giant, luminous hound!
Will do!
Is that true about mice? Are
they always just constant
- Hey. Hey, what is it?
- I'm sorry, Paul.
I'm sorry, love.
Are you okay? Obviously,
you're not okay.
You know Chrissy at the hospice?
Oh, fuck, I'm so Has she
No. Not yet. She's dying, but
- But she's still with us?
- Ohh. Yes.
My God, is she still with us, Paul.
She's more alive in
my head at this moment
than she has ever been. Vivid.
Right, but that That's nice, is it?
I mean, maybe not nice, but, you know
he-helpful or
This is really difficult for me, Paul.
I know, Mum, because she's
been part or your life since
- No. Your dad
- What?
Your dad, Paul.. Jim
Yes. That dad. Right?
Oh, Paul.
What? Mum, what is it?
I think Jim had an
affair with Chrissy.
No, I don't think. I know he did.
Dad did?
What makes you
Yeah, I saw them at the hospice.
When I'd was meant to
have gone for a piddle,
- and they thought I couldn't see.
- Mm-hmm.
- They're holding hands, crying.
- Right, but couldn't that
- have just been
- No. I know what I saw.
And I know what it meant.
And I know him.
He kissed her hand.
She stroked his face.
I've never seen him touch
someone else like that
never seen him look
at someone like that.
I don't really think he's
ever looked at me like that.
Fuckin' hell.
Hey. Hey.
So when when do you
think all this happened?
'Cause it must have
been a while ago, right?
You remember when he was at Watney's,
and they started up that
new office down in Brighton?
And he'd go down on the train mid-week
to help get them up and running.
Chrissy was living in Hove then.
Oh, okay.
Mm. I'd sometimes ask your dad,
"Don't you ever see Chrissy
when you're down there?
She lives nearby."
"No," he'd say.
"No. No, funny. I never do see her."
I'm so sorry, Mum.
Yeah. Funny, that Jim. Very funny.
He He doesn't know that you know?
No. He sensed I'm a bit off with him,
but I'm often a bit off with him.
If I'm cross with him,
he just lets it go past.
He never asks why.
He just waits for it to be over.
Yeah, but he can't
wait till this is over.
I'm sorry to land all this on you, Paul.
I know what your dad means to you.
And I wanted to wait
till after our nice lunch.
I didn't want to spoil the
lovely treat you made for us.
I've just seen a hare.
Haven't seen a hare
since God knows when.
Since I was a boy, I think.
Huge ears. Enormous.
Like a cartoon.
And the back legs, heh.
I mean, it's
the perfect setup, isn't it?
If you're prey.
You can hear the predator,
then you run like hell.
You'd think sheep would have
evolved the same way, wouldn't you?
Over the millennia.
But they've got those tiny ears still.
And they can barely
run at all. They lollop.
Oh, uh, Mum knows that you
had an affair with Chrissy.
That's daft. My God, don't be daft.
- You denying it?
- It's daft talk, Paul.
All right, so it didn't happen?
Right, you're you're telling me
it didn't happen?
Because Mum seems to think
Leave it, Paul! Leave it be!
For Christ's sake, man, leave it alone!
Everything is gonna come undone!
Jesus Christ alive.
Ohh, God in fuckin' heaven.
Let's get back in the car.
It's cold.
Why did you make me visit the hospice?
- It was all fine
- I didn't fuckin' make you do anything.
And don't shift the blame onto me!
- Did you have an affair, Dad?
- It wasn't
Wasn't what?
You don't know what it was.
- You've no idea.
- Then tell me!
It happened 40 fuckin' years ago!
Right! So it did happen!
Okay! Fucking hell!
Dad, Jesus Christ! You?!
Everything that I learned
about being a man
came from you, and now you
I don't owe you an explanation, Paul!
Everything isn't always about you!
- Sorry?
- You heard.
That's always been your problem.
Everything has to be about you!
How it affects you! How you react!
"Will Paul blow up?"
The famous fuckin' rage.
Well, this isn't about you, Paul, okay?
This doesn't all revolve around
you. Shock-fuckin'-horror.
So you can keep your fuckin' nose out.
Oh, you're gonna hit us now, are ya?
Like Luke did to you,
because he'd had enough.
Well, go on then. Give us a wallop.
Go on, why not? I deserve it, don't I?
Punch us in the fuckin'
face, Paul. That'll solve it.
Get back in the car and talk to Mum.
I can't, can I?
How can I ever look
her in the face again?
How can she look at
me, knowing what I did?
Well, we can't stand out
on the moor shouting like
Cathy and fuckin'
Heathcliff, can we? It's cold.
I don't want her to see me face.
She's not gonna see your fuckin' face
'cause of the angle of the mirror!
I want Paul in as well.
She wants you in, too.
You should use your puffer.
I haven't brought me puffer.
So, you must have seen
us in the hospice, then.
I saw you kissing her hand.
I saw her stroking your face. Crying.
Like you've been married
to her for 50 years, not me.
- I'm sorry, Jackie.
- "Sorry." For what?
That at the hospice or all of it?
All of it. The whole
Do Do I have to go into this now?
Well, what should we do instead?
Our usual thing Not have a row,
go silent with each other
for a couple of days,
and then forget it?
No, Jim. We can't do
that. Not with this.
No, I know.
How many times, Jim?
Can you even remember?
- How many times what?
- Have Arsenal won the FA cup.
- What do you bloody think?
- 14.
How many times did
you sleep with Chrissy?
You can't remember.
He can't remember.
Course he can't
remember. All right, well.
Let's try and work it out, shall we?
- Mum, don't.
- No, no.
We'll do the maths, Paul.
Once a week for six months?
What's that? 25 times?
Then what, Jim?
Ten more times over the next few
We never slept together.
- Fuck off.
- Bollocks.
We never did, I swear to God.
- I swear on your life, Paul.
- Oh, cheers.
We'd meet up for dinner every week.
At an Italian restaurant in the Lanes.
And that was it.
Since when did you eat pasta?
You hate pasta.
I'd choose the meat course instead.
Veal or some chicken.
Gammon, maybes. Boiled potatoes.
Fuck me, it's Trip Advisor. I'm
sorry, Dad, I don't believe you.
'Cause how does that explain
all the hospice stuff?
How does it explain you out
there just now, pacing around?
I don't care what you believe, Paul.
Like I said, this isn't about you.
Yes, it is, Jim. It's a family thing.
Paul was nine when you were doing
whatever it was you were doing.
You're his dad. It's to
do with him as much as me.
I swear I never slept with her, Jackie.
So, what? You saw her
once a week for dinner,
for half a year,
and you just chatted did you?
Bit of an old chin-wag?
Put the world to rights?
So why did you keep it a secret?
Hmm? Why did she keep it a secret?
She never said she'd seen you.
And you always said you'd
never bumped into her,
so I don't understand why
- Oh.
- What?
Jim it's Mary again, isn't it?
Oh, Jackie.
- Who's Mary?
- He doesn't need to know this.
When Jim met me,
he was already engaged to be married
to a woman called Mary Creek.
- Creek?
- Crick.
- Crick.
- Crick.
I'd met your dad at work.
We both worked at
Hunt's in Earlsfield
- in the offices there in Garratt Lane.
- Mm.
And we started doing
little things together.
Uh, all very innocent.
Pictures, Battersea Funfair.
Other places
- Zoo.
- London Zoo.
And we got very close to each other.
And I thought he might
kiss me, you know?
But he never did.
He never tried, even.
So, one day, I asked him why.
And do you remember what you said, Jim?
You said you were in love with me
and if it went any further,
you'd have to break off
your engagement with Mary,
and taking the next step
would break you and her up.
And it did.
You were in love with Chrissy.
And if you two had slept together,
you would've had to leave me.
I wasn't in love with her, Jackie.
I just thought I was. I was daft.
You do know it's worse, Jim.
Do you know that?
It's worse than
some leg-over after an office party,
or some kiss-and-fumble
by the photocopier.
Love Jim?
Being in love with another woman
when you're coming home to me.
So what was I to you then, Jim?
I love you, Jackie.
I always have.
Was I in the way?
Was I just some boring old bag
that you were forced to come home to
after seeing the woman
who you really loved?
We should get going, Paul.
- Get back.
- Okay.
How was your fish and chips, Paul?
I didn't ask.
Uh, yeah, it was all right.
Yeah. It's pub fish and chips.
You know, it's not
Not chippy fish and chips,
but it was nice all the same.
Peas were good.
My ravioli was beautiful.
I only ever have pasta
when I go out to eat.
You cook a lot of pasta, don't you?
Yeah, we live on it, yeah.
It's quick. So easy to cook.
Kids love it.
Anybody want anything from the shop?
I'll have some of them travel
sweets, if they've got them.
- In the tin.
- Uh-huh. Okay.
And the Daily Mirror. Your
dad likes the Quizword.
Every time, Jim
every time you went to
dinner with Chrissy
I'd have washed and ironed
your shirt the night before.
I'd have polished your shoes, Jim,
because it was work, and
you needed to look smart,
and you always said I did
a better job than you did.
When you and her were telling each other
how much in love you were.
Stop it, Jackie, please.
I was at home with Paul
hoping you weren't lonely.
I was hoping you weren't on your own
in some rotten old B&B.
You weren't lonely, were you?
I'm so sorry, Jackie.
Was it the excitement, Jim?
Falling in love again?
Because it is exciting.
I understand that.
I should've stopped
it before it started.
I was like a stupid teenager.
I was excited, yes. I was.
But I'm ashamed of what I did, Jackie.
It was a betrayal. I know that now.
I don't know what I can
do to make up for it.
To try to make up for it.
But I'll I'll do anything.
I will.
I just want us to be
back the way we were.
- For you.
- Ta, love.
- Right.
- Oh, thanks, Paul.
All right.
Me and your dad have been talking.
Oh great.
It's good to talk.
And also not to talk.
That's that's all right, too.
Over 50 years together.
Half a century. That's a long time.
I mean a long, long time.
It is. You're right.
And, look, it's not for me
to tell you what to do, but
seems to me that
it's worth preserving, right?
You know, what you
What you've built together,
it doesn't have to be destroyed by this.
There's shopping centers
less than 50 years old
that are Grade Two
listed, for Christ's sake.
You know, not allowed
to be destroyed by law.
You know, they're all ugly as fuck,
as far as I'm concerned,
but clever people in glasses
who like Kraftwerk
think that they should be preserved,
and I think you two, your marriage,
this thing that you've
worked at for so long,
I think that needs to be preserved, too.
Kraftwerk are a band.
There. I've, uh, said my piece.
Thanks, Paul.
Yes. Thanks, love.
And I want to come and stay
with you and Ally tonight.
Can I?
Uh, yeah, of course.
For a bit, actually,
if that's all right.
Uh, sure.
That bag in the boot,
that got two weeks'
worth of clothes in it.
Me wash bag, pension stuff.
- All me essentials.
- Right.
- So, you
- Yeah.
I knew this morning I'd
probably leave your dad.
Fuckin' hell.
Now I've heard what was really going on,
- I know I'm leaving.
- Mm-hmm.
I'll get out then, shall I?
I didn't think today would end like this
when you first
picked us up this morning.
I really didn't.
Will you be okay?
I don't know.
I shouldn't think so, would you?
I just don't know, son.
I don't know what's up and
what's down at the minute.
Everything's spinning, isn't it?
Off its axis.
So, I'll call you later, yeah?
Yeah. Okay. Thanks.
Well, I'll I'll talk to you later.
Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
Fuckin' hell.
I know, love.
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