Buffy the Vampire Slayer s01e08 Episode Script

I, Robot... You, Jane

In every generation, there is a Chosen One.
She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness.
She is the Slayer.
No.
Oh, great.
A book.
Oh, I haven't gone through the new arrivals.
Put it in that pile.
- Here, I'll get it.
- Oh.
Thanks, Dave.
Willow pile.
When I've examined it, you can er - .
.
skim it.
- "Scan" it, Rupert.
That's "scan" it.
- Of course.
- I know our ways are strange to you.
But soon you will join the 20th century, with three years to spare! Ms Calendar, I'm sure your computer-science classes are fascinating.
But one can survive in modern society without being a slave to the idiot box.
That's TV.
The idiot box is TV.
- This is the good box.
- I still prefer a good book.
The printed page is obsolete.
Information isn't bound up any more.
It's an entity.
The only reality is virtual.
If you're notjacked in, you're not alive.
Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people.
Fritz comes on a little strong, but he does have a point.
For the last two years more e-mail was sent than regular mail.
More digitised data crossed phone lines than conversations.
That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror.
I'll bet it is.
- Let's wrap it up for today.
- I've just got a few more.
I'll hang for a bit.
Cool.
Thanks.
- Xander, wanna stay and help? - Are you kidding? Yes.
It was ajoke I made up.
- Willow, I love you but bye! - See you tomorrow.
- Buffy, wait up.
- I'm going to stay and clean up a little.
- I'll be back in the Middle Ages.
- Did you ever leave? Willow! Willow, hey, wait up! Oh, Buffy.
I didn't even see you.
Or hear me! What was up last night? I tried your line a million times.
- Oh, I was I was talking.
- Talking to? - You have a secret and that's not allowed.
- Why not? Cos there's a rule.
Well I sort of met someone.
I knew it! When did you meet? Last week, after we did the scanning project in the library.
Is he here? What's his name? Did you kiss? What's he like? No.
Malcolm.
No.
And very nice.
You are evil for not telling me this right away.
I wasn't sure there was anything to tell.
But last night we talked all night.
It was amazing.
He's so smart, Buffy, and he's romantic, and we agree about everything.
- What's he look like? - I don't know.
Yes, I will.
I promise.
So you've been seeing a guy and you don't know what he looks like.
OK, this is a puzzle.
I'm good at these.
Does it involve a midget and a block of ice? I met him on line.
On line for what? - Oh! - Good morning, kids.
- Buffy, are you supposed to be somewhere? - No, I have a free.
Cool.
But this is lab time, so make it a short visit, OK? - Sure.
- You have mail.
It's him.
- He's so sweet! - He's a sweetie.
What should I write back? Willow, I think it's really great that you have this cool pen pal, but .
.
don't you think you're kind of rushing all into this? "I'm thinking of you, too.
" No.
That's incredibly stupid.
Down, girl.
Let's focus here, OK? What do you actually know about this guy? Oh, I knew you'd react like this.
Like what? I just wanna make sure you're careful, that's all.
Buffy He could be different than you think.
His name is Malcolm Black.
He's 18.
He lives is Elmwood, about 80 miles from here, and he likes me.
Short? Tall? Skinny? Fat? Why does everything have to be about looks? Not everything, but some stuff is.
What if you guys get really intense, and then you find out that he has a hairy back? Well No.
He doesn't talk like somebody who would have a hairy back.
And anyways, that stuff doesn't matter when you really care about each other.
Maybe I'm not his ideal either.
Hey, I just hope he's good enough for you.
I think it's great that you met someone.
Hey, Fritz.
I'm looking at the logs.
You and Dave are clockin' a scary amount of computer time.
- New project.
- Ooh! Will I be excited? You'll die.
This isn't my report.
"Nazi Germany was a model of a well-ordered society"?! I didn't write that! Who's been in my files? - Guess who.
- Uh Xander? Yeah, but keep guessing anyway.
- Xander.
- Aw, I can't fool you.
You see right through my petty charade.
- Are we going to the Bronze tonight? - Not me.
I think I'll call it an early night.
Oh.
Malcolm, right? Yeah, I heard.
But you'll miss out.
I'm planning to make fun of everyone who won't talk to me.
That's nice.
Have a good time.
She certainly looks perky.
Yeah.
Colour in the cheeks, bounce in the step.
I don't like it.
It's not healthy.
So, are you going to the Bronze tonight? Oh, you probably have some vampire slaying or some lame endeavour like that, don't you? Everyone deserts me.
- Check out the jealous man! - What are you talking about? - You're jealous.
- Of what? - Willow has a thang and you're left hanging.
- That's meaningless drivel.
- I'm not interested in Willow like that.
- You liked being the belle of the ball.
It's just this Malcolm guy.
What's his deal? Tell me you're not slightly wigged.
OK, slightly.
Just not knowing what he's really like.
Or who he really is.
I mean, he says he's a student, but I can say I'm a student.
- You are.
- But I can also say I'm an old Dutch woman.
And why not, if I'm in the old Dutch chat room? I get your point.
I get your point.
This guy could be anybody.
He could be weird or crazy or old or - He could be a circus freak.
He probably is! - We read about it all the time.
People meet on the Net, they talk, meet up, have dinner, a show - horrible axe murder.
Willow, axe-murdered by a circus freak? OK, what do we do? What are we doing? Xander! You get me started! We are totally overreacting.
But it's fun, isn't it? I'm jacked in.
I'm jacked in.
I'm jacked in.
I'm jacked in.
Whoa.
You're a little late, girl.
- I overslept.
- Till fifth period? - Talkin' to Malcolm last night? - Yeah.
- What? - Nothing.
You're having an expression.
I'm not.
But if I was, it'd be saying: this just isn't like you.
Not like me to have a boyfriend? He's boyfriendly? I don't understand why you don't want me to have this.
I mean, boys don't chase me around all the time.
- I thought you'd be happy for me.
- I just want you to be sure.
To meet him face to face.
In daylight, in a crowded place, with some friends.
You know, before you become all obsessive.
Malcolm and I really care about each other.
Big deal if I blow off a couple of classes.
I thought you said you overslept.
Malcolm said you wouldn't understand.
Malcolm was right.
Dave? Hey there, Dave.
Anybody home? - What do you want? - To ask you something, if you have a minute.
- What is it? - Well, you're a computer geek genius, .
.
and I sort of have a technical problem.
If I wanted to find out about someone who e-mailed me, could I trace the letter? Well, you could pull out somebody's profile based on their user name.
But they write the profile themselves, right? So they can say what they want.
- True.
- Wow.
I had knowledge.
Is there a way to find out exactly where an e-letter came from? The actual location of the computer? That's a challenge.
- Cos Willow's got this boyfriend Malcolm - Leave Willow alone.
- What do you mean? - That's none of your business.
- Dave, are you Malcolm? - Of course not.
- Dave, what's going on? - Look.
I'll talk to you later, OK? I've got work to do.
So do I.
I'm telling you, something is going on.
It's notjust Willow.
- Dave, Fritz they're all wicked jumpy.
- They aren't sparklingly normal as it is.
- Giles, trust me.
- I do.
I really don't know how to advise you.
Things involving the computer fill me with a childlike terror.
If it were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element.
I suppose you could tail Dave.
See if he's up to something.
Follow Dave? What, in dark glasses and a trench coat? Please.
I can work this out myself.
She's too close.
What do I do? Party.
Whatever Dave is into, it's large.
- What was the name of this place? - It said CRD.
But I wasn't close enough to see what it was.
A computer research lab.
Sunnydale's third largest employer till it closed down last year.
- What, I can't have information sometimes? - It's just somewhat unprecedented.
Well, my uncle used to work there in a floor-sweeping capacity.
- But it closed? - Uh-huh.
Looked functional to me.
I don't have a clue what they were doing.
- And what do they need Dave for? - Something about computers, right? I mean, he is off-the-chart smart.
We still don't know an enormous amount.
Whatever is going on there may be on the up and up.
- If CRD opened, it woulda been on the news.
- I can tell something's wrong.
- My spider sense is tingling.
- Your spider sense? - Pop-culture reference.
Sorry.
- I think we're still at a standstill.
- Short of breaking in - Breaking in.
This is the plan.
- I'm free tonight.
- Tonight it is.
A moment, please, of quiet reflection.
I did not suggest that you illegally enter .
.
data into the file so the book will be listed by title as well as author.
I came to check your database, make sure your cross-reference table isn't glitching.
- Cos I bet you haven't gone near it.
- I'm still sorting through the chaos you left.
Hmm.
You here again? You kids really dig the library, don't you? - We're literary.
- To read makes our speaking English good.
- We'll be going now.
- We'll continue this conversation later.
We're done.
- "Makes our speaking English good"? - I panicked.
I've never felt this way about anyone before, Willow.
I know what you mean.
I feel like you know me better than anyone.
- I do.
- Do you think we should meet? I think we should, soon.
I'm nervous.
I'm not.
Isn't that strange? That's what Buffy doesn't understand.
How comfortable you can make me feel.
Buffy just makes trouble.
That's why she got kicked out of her old school.
How did you know that? It's on her permanent record.
You must have mentioned it.
I guess.
Let's not worry about her any more.
I have to sign off.
I'll talk to you later.
Don't.
- You're a snob.
- I am no such thing.
Oh, you are a big snob.
You think knowledge should be kept in guarded repositories .
.
where only a few white guys can get at it.
Nonsense! I simply don't adhere to a knee-jerk assumption .
.
that because something is new, it's better.
This isn't a fad, Rupert.
We are creating a new society here.
A society in which human interaction is all but obsolete? In which people are completely manipulated by technology? Thank you, I'll pass.
Well, I think you'll be very happy here with your musty old books.
These musty old books have much more to say than in any of your fabulous Web pages.
This one doesn't have a whole lot more to say.
What is it? Like a diary? How odd.
I haven't looked through all the volumes yet and I didn't What is it? Er, nothing.
A diary, yes.
I imagine that's what it is.
Well, it's been so nice talking to you.
- We were fighting.
- Must do it again sometime.
Bye now.
I checked the computer.
His file says nothing about being allergic to penicillin.
- Buffy.
- Dave.
- How are you doin'? - OK.
I'm sorry about yesterday.
- I haven't slept much lately.
- Don't sweat it.
- Willow was looking for you.
- Good.
I need to talk to her.
Do you know where she is? - She said she'd be in the girls' locker room.
- Great.
Thanks.
Will? Willow? Will? Are you taking a shower? I guess not.
This is how droughts start.
Buffy! Get out! I can't do it! I'm not gonna do it.
But you promised.
Buffy isn't a threat to you! It's not worth it.
The project is almost complete.
You won't have to do it again.
I can't.
I've shown you a new world, Dave.
Knowledge, power I can give you everything.
All I want is your love.
No.
This isn't right.
None of it is.
I'm sorry.
I've been a terrible person.
I'm a coward and I can't go on living like this.
Forgive me, Mom and Dad.
At least now I'll have some peace.
Remember me.
Love, Dave.
- I'm gonna kill Dave! - He tried to warn me.
Warn you that he set you up? - Is she gonna be OK? - She was only grounded for a moment.
Still If you'd been anyone but the Slayer Tell me the truth.
How's my hair? It's great.
It's your best hair ever.
Oh.
Yes.
I just don't understand what would make Dave do a thing like that.
I think perhaps I do.
- Does this look familiar to either of you? - Yeah, sure.
- It looks like a book.
- I knew that one.
In the Dark Ages, the souls of demons were sometimes trapped in certain volumes.
They remained locked within the book, harmless, unless the pages were read aloud.
Unless I'm mistaken, this is Moloch, the Corrupter.
A very deadly and seductive demon.
He draws people to him with promises of love, power, knowledge.
- He preys on impressionable minds.
- Like Dave's.
Dave and who knows how many others.
- And Moloch is inside that book? - Not any more.
- You released Moloch? - Way to go! I didn't read it! That dreadful Calendar woman found it and it was already blank.
So a powerful demon with horns is walking around Sunnydale and nobody's noticed? If he's so big and strong, why use Dave? - Why didn't he attack Buffy himself? - I don't know.
And who read that book? It wasn't even in English.
- Where was it? - In a pile with others that were scanned.
That released the demon? No, he's not out here.
He's in there.
The scanner read the book.
It brought Moloch out as information to be absorbed.
He's gone binary on us.
OK, for those of us in our studio audience who are me, you guys are saying Moloch is in this computer? And in every computer connected to it by a modem.
- He's everywhere.
- What are we gonna do? Willow scanned him into her file.
It may be a futile gesture, but I suggest we delete it.
Solid.
- Don't get too close.
- OK.
OK.
So which file do you think it is? Willow? That's probably it, right? I'll just delete the whole thing.
Stay away from Willow! It is none of your business! So that's what Malcolm looks like.
- So much for "Delete file".
- This is very bad.
Are we overreacting? He's in a computer.
What can he do? Besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know.
- Mess up medical equipment everywhere.
- Randomise traffic signals.
- Access launch codes for nuclear missiles.
- Destroy the world's economy.
- I think that nuclear missile thing capped it.
- Right.
Yours was best.
OK, he's a threat.
I'm on board with that now.
But what can we do about it? First, we find Willow.
She's probably talking to him right now.
God, that creeps me out! - What does he want with Willow? - Let's never find out.
OK.
I'm gonna check the computer lab .
.
and you guys call her home.
Willow? - No answer.
- Damn it.
It wasn't busy either, so she's not on line.
- She's not home.
- What did you find? - Willow isn't? - Dave.
- He's dead.
- How? Well, it looks like suicide.
With a little help from my friends? I'd guess Fritz.
Or one of their zomboids from CRD.
OK.
You and I are going to Willow's house.
Giles, you find a way to get Moloch out of the Net.
I have records of the ceremonies, but that's for a creature of the flesh.
This could be something completely different.
Then get Ms Calendar.
Maybe she can help you.
Even if she could, how do I convince her there's a demon on the Internet? Fine.
Then come up with a better plan.
Come on.
Mom? Dad? You have mail.
You have mail.
Dad, did you forget your keys again? No more waiting.
A spokesman blamed computer error for the financial discrepancy.
"Binding ritual" All FBI serial-killer profiles have been mysteriously downloaded from - I got your message.
What's so urgent? - Thank you for coming.
Er I need your help.
But before that, I need you to believe something that you may not want to.
Er, there's Something's got into the inside, erm There's a demon in the Internet.
I know.
Willow? This isn't good.
Willow? Willow? OK, any thoughts? "No more waiting.
I need you to see me"? See him how? Where? - What about CRD? - The research place? - I'm guessing that's Moloch Central.
- That's our best lead.
Let's just hope Giles can back us up.
You already know? How exactly is that? Come on.
There have been portents for days.
Power surges, on-line shutdowns You should see the bones I've been casting.
I knew this would happen sooner or later.
It's probably a mischief demon, like Kelkor or It's Moloch.
The Corrupter? Oh, boy.
- I should have remembered.
- You don't seem exactly surprised.
- Who are you? - I teach computer science at high school.
That hardly involves the casting of bones.
Wrong, snobby.
You think the mystical is limited to ancient texts and relics? That bad old science made the magic go away? The divine exists in cyberspace, same as out here.
Are you a witch? I don't have that kind of power.
"Techno pagan" is the term.
There are more of us than you think.
Well, er you can definitely help me.
What's in cyberspace at the moment is less than divine.
I have the binding rituals, but I'm completely out of my idiom.
Well, I can help - I think.
I hope.
I mean, this is my first real Do you know how he got in? - He was "scanned" is the term, I believe.
- And you want him back in the book.
- Buffy? - Yeah.
- Willow? - Not at home.
Looks like she was taken away.
- Where are you? - CRD.
Whatever Moloch wants Willow for is probably in there.
Ms Calendar and I hope to get Moloch off line.
Here's a tip: hurry.
Welcome, my love.
I can't tell you how good it is to see you with my own two eyes.
- Willow.
- Malcolm.
This world is so new, so exciting.
I can see all of it.
Everything flows through me.
I know the secrets of your kings, but nothing compares to having form again.
To be able to walk.
To touch.
To kill.
- Back way? - Back way.
Here they come.
The first thing we have to do is form the Circle of Kayless.
Right? Form a circle? But there's only two of us.
It's really more of a line.
We have to form the circle inside.
I'll put out a flash.
I hope enough of my group responds.
Won't Moloch just shut you down? I'm betting he won't figure it out till it's too late.
- Hoping and betting, that's what we've got.
- Wanna throw in praying? Be my guest.
I don't understand.
What do you want from me? I want to give you the world.
- Why? - You created me.
I brought these humans together to build me a body.
But you gave me life.
Took me out of the book that held me.
- I want to repay you.
- By lying to me? By pretending to be a person? Pretending you loved me? I do.
Buffy! - It's her.
- Yeah.
Who's the other guy? Don't you see? I can give you everything.
I can control the world.
Right now a man in Beijing is transferring money to a Swiss bank account for a contract on his mother's life.
Good for him.
- I can't bust it.
It's heavy steel.
- Then let's find another way in.
What's goin' on? The building security system is computerised.
Whoops.
Almost there.
Couldn't you just stop Moloch by entering some computer virus? You've seen way too many movies.
OK, we're up.
- You read, I type.
Ready? - I am.
"By the power of the divine, by the essence of the word, I command you.
" - Let me leave.
- But I love you.
Don't say that.
That's ajoke.
You don't love anything.
You are mine.
I'm not yours.
I'm never gonna be yours.
Never.
Pity.
"By the power of the Circle of Kayless, I command you.
" Kayless with a K.
I'll miss you.
Demon, come! I command you! Ow! The guy's made of metal.
No! I won't go back! Demon, come! Whoa! Hey! I got to hit someone! He's out of the Net.
He's bound.
He's not in the book.
He's not in the book.
Where is he? - Let's go this way.
- Wait! I was omnipotent.
I was everything! Now I'm trapped in this shell.
Malcolm! Remember me - your girlfriend? I think it's time we break up! But maybe we can still be friends! This body is all I have left, but it's enough to crush you.
Take your best shot.
Well, look who's here.
Welcome to my world.
Are you scared? I'm remaining calm, thank you.
I just wanted to return this.
I found it among the new books and naturally I thought of you.
Cool.
Thanks.
Well, I'll see you anon.
Can't get out of here fast enough, can you? Truthfully, I'm even less anxious to be around computers than I used to be.
Well, it was your book that started all the trouble, not a computer.
Honestly, what is it about them that bothers you so much? The smell.
Computers don't smell, Rupert.
I know.
Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is.
A certain flower or a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten.
Books smell musty and rich.
The knowledge gained from a computer is It has no no texture, no context.
It's there and then it's gone.
If it's to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible.
It should be smelly.
Well, you really are an old-fashioned boy, aren't you? Well, I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear.
That's not where I dangle it.
Are we going to the Bronze tonight? We three? It'll be fun.
Yeah, Willow.
Fun? Remember fun? That thing where you smile? I'm sorry, guys.
I'm just thinking about - Malcolm? - Malcolm Moloch Whatever he's called.
The one boy that's really liked me and he's a demon robot.
- What does that say about me? - It doesn't say anything about you.
- I mean, I thought I was really falling - Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for here turned out to be a vampire.
And the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis.
That's true.
That's life on the Hellmouth.
Let's face it.
None of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
- We're doomed.
- Yeah.

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