Buffy the Vampire Slayer s05e10 Episode Script

- Riley.
- I know you got a lot on your mind.
If you decide you wanna let me in on any of it, you let me know.
Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer": Buffy's like nobody else in the world.
But she doesn't love me.
Buffy, I love you.
- Oh, God, no.
- Your mother has a brain tumour.
Just me.
Sorry.
- Can I getyou anything? - No.
Thank you.
- Riley? - No, I'm fine.
- What time is it? - There's a clock behind you, Will.
I know, but there's a watch right above your hand.
That can't be right.
I can't stand this.
What's taking so long? - It doesn't mean anything.
- You think? I'd worry more if she was out of surgery quickly.
Might mean they couldn't do much.
- OK, your mom's in recovery.
- What happened? Is she all right? It was possible to see the tumour completely, which means I was able to get all of it.
So, barring complications in recovery, I think your mother's going to be fine.
We're still going to have to watch her carefully, and have her back in here for some follow-up testing, but overall I'd consider the procedure a complete success.
My goodness, Doctor, thank you so much.
Believe me, it's my pleasure.
Sorry.
Sorry.
When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this, and Buffy would chase me around the house yelling "I'm the Slayer, I'm going to getyou.
" That's disturbing.
You're emotionally scarred and will end up badly.
It was great.
She didn't actually stake me in the heart.
Buffy's pretty cool like that.
So, what do you wanna do now, Dawnster? Keep in mind I won't chase you because I'm old and stuffed full of moo goo gai starch.
We could play that game again - Life.
That was fun.
For you.
You always win.
Well, we can make a wager this time.
You can give me real money.
That would be different.
And after we teach her howto gamble, maybe we can all get drunk.
The bar wouldn't serve her, but we could buy something.
- Strawberry schnapps tastes like ice cream.
- OK.
How's about a movie? In a theatre.
I hear it's like watching a video with a bunch of strangers and a sticky floor.
- That one looks sad.
- The chimp playing hockey? - Is that based on the Chekhov? - There's a chimp playing hockey? No, the other one.
I don't wanna see a sad movie.
We have to see the chimp playing hockey.
That's hilarious.
The ice is so slippery, and monkeys are all irrational.
We have to see this.
You pick, Dawn.
This is your night.
We are celebrating your mom's good news.
Go monkey.
Choose monkey.
It's OK.
You don't have to make a big deal for me.
I'm only sleeping over here so Buffy and Riley can boink.
No, that's not that's not it at all.
They just need time to be tender.
Relax.
He's not very convincing, is he? "Alone time" means "Get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud, obnoxious sex.
" Oh, does that mean we can't? - Can we put this song on repeat? - Whatever you want.
Can we put the whole night on repeat? Absolutely.
Good.
I can't believe how relaxed I feel.
It's like all the tension's just left my body.
Already? Cos I had that scheduled for a little later on.
Scheduled? Are you planning on seducing me, Mr Finn? Always.
I want tonight to be special for you.
It's more than special.
It's perfect.
I'm glad.
You deserve it after everything you've been through.
Well, it's nothing compared to what my mom had to deal with.
But it was a lot.
And you were incredible.
Not really.
Just covering for the weepy chicken within.
Don't sell yourself short.
You stayed strong throughout.
You never even cried.
Oh, I cried.
I cried so hard, I didn't think I was gonna be able to stop.
That's all in the past now.
Mom's out of the woods, and I'm here with you.
That's all that matters.
I don't know, Buffy.
I think I'd look like I had a cat on my head.
- But a very well-groomed cat.
- I think maybe I'll stick with a scarf.
Come on.
Wigs are fun.
We could getyou a whole bunch of different ones.
You know, you could be, like, Sixties Mom, Action Mom, French Maid Mom.
I must be getting better, cos you're makin' fun of me.
Well, you know.
Got a lot of time to make up for.
You have more important things to make up.
I know you've been missing a lot of school.
I may have to take a few incompletes, but I'll finish the semester.
Well, what about slaying and your friends? I wantyou to have your life back.
Right now I'd rather be here, styling your beautiful, new, plastic dream hair.
Fair enough, butyou don't have to keep me company all night.
Go out, have fun, get Riley to take you to a movie or something.
- I gave Riley the day off.
- I don't think he thinks of you as a chore.
I knowthat.
I told him to make other plans because I wanted to have you all to myself, OK? Besides, I can see him any time.
And I'm sure he'll come over later lookin' for a little Bible study.
Well, good.
I mean, just as long as the two of you are spending some quality time with the Lord.
We are.
Absolutely.
- What've we got? - Belize.
Last transmission.
- Infrared scans say they're - Breeding.
They won't stay in that village for long.
Looks like we got ourselves a hot spot.
Tell the men to get ready.
What about Riley? Agent Finn.
Sir, if we go in for a sweep and drop, he's definitely a guy we want.
Let's bring him on board.
It might take a little convincing.
Why? What's he got here in Sunnydale that's so special? - Riley? - It's me.
Every time you show up like this, you risk all of your parts.
You knowthat? I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason.
As usual, I'm here to help you, and I Are you naked under there? - Get out.
- No, I'm serious.
- Not about the naked part - Get out or I will drop you out headfirst.
I wanna show you something.
- What? - You need to see this.
But we need to move if we want to get there in time.
Oh, please.
Like I give a bloody damn.
Don't start slayin'.
This isn't what we're here for.
- What do you think you're doing? - Just havin' a little look, mate.
Keep it down.
You can't go up there.
I said, keep it down.
Harder.
Buffy.
- Buffy.
- We only came here cos we care aboutyou.
You need help.
I thoughtyou should know.
Was that the Slayer? What the hell are you doin' bringin' the Slayer here? - Back off.
I didn't know.
- Nobody'll risk comin' here now.
I said, back off.
Get out.
I need to talkto you.
I'm not in a talkin' mood.
Then listen.
Riley, just give the man a chance.
If you don't like whatyou hear, we'll be on our way.
- Talk fast.
- We have a Code One in Belize.
A demon tribe is taking apart missionaries in the rainforest down there.
- You're tellin' me this because? - We're goin' to terminate their operation.
We wantyou to join us.
- I'm a civilian.
- You're a soldier.
- I quit the government long ago.
- We're not government.
We're army.
Just like you.
It's not the Initiative, Finn.
We don't do experiments.
None of us give a damn what makes monsters tick.
We just stop 'em.
- What do you need me for? - I think you can handle yourself.
And I always need bodies.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
It's the real deal.
High risk, low pay, and seriously messy.
We ship out for Central America tomorrow, midnight.
Now, maybe civilian life is workin' out for you and maybe not.
Midnight, tomorrow.
The decision's yours.
And so it begins.
No longer a victim of crass holiday commercialisation, I'm a purveyor of it.
Who ordered more chickens' feet? The ones we have aren't moving at all.
That's what happens when you cut them off the chicken.
I'm serious.
Maybe we could do a holiday promotion.
- One free with every purchase.
- Oh, yeah.
Dear holiday memories.
Merry tykes by the fire, enjoying their new Christmas chicken feet.
Aw, holding them tight as they fall asleep.
Painting their little toenails.
That's very humorous.
Make fun of the ex-demon.
I can just hear you in private.
"I dislike Anya.
She's newly human and strangely literal.
" What? I don't say that.
No one says that.
No one talks that way.
There's nothing wrong with my idea.
I've been very good for this store.
If not for me, Giles would be a terrified old man staring at a tax bill and wetting himself.
- I say, that's an exaggeration.
- Anya, you've helped a lot, but I have, too.
I forgot about the vigorous sitting around.
Anya, you can back off a little.
You get paid.
Willow's doin' this on her own time.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for making time in your busy life to come and get in the way of mine.
- Anya, play nice.
- You know, fine.
Take her side instead of mine, even though I sleep with you and feed you and bathe you.
- She bathes you? - Only in an erotic, Penthousey way, not in a sponge-bathy, geriatric sort Please.
Stop, I beg of you.
I need to find out everything I can about a vamp nest downtown.
- A nest? What sort of - There were people there.
It looked like they were paying vampires to bite them.
Now I know what to give the person who has everything.
- Who'd pay to get bitten? - That's been going on for centuries.
Humans hire vampires to feed off them.
They, you know, get off on the rush.
And the danger.
The hazards of the underworld can be addictive to some people.
- Why don't the vampires kill them? - They get cash, hot and cold running blood, and they don't leave corpses behind so they don't get hunted.
But still, it can be terribly dangerous for humans.
People can die accidentally, or meet a vampire who only pretends to play by the house rules.
You knew about this and you didn't tell me? I haven't seen it since my Ripper days.
I had no idea it was going on in Sunnydale.
Well, it is.
And I'm gonna stop it.
Buffy, even if I had known about this, I might not have told you right now.
- What? Why? - It's not where your efforts are best spent.
Perhaps you should focus on a less ambiguous evil.
Glory, for instance? You said people are dying.
They're willing victims.
People deserve your help who aren't.
Vampires are vampires.
And my job description is pretty clear.
- Are you coming with me or not? - What's the rush? If we're goin' into a nest, maybe we should come up with a strategy, wait for Riley.
Back me up or not.
I'm going.
Anya, will you mind the store? Have a nice day.
Don't get killed.
I don't understand.
This place was doing serious business last night.
I guess everybody jumped ship once the word got out that the Slayer found their crib.
- I apologise for the use of the word "crib".
- You thinkthey'll set up shop again in town? It's hard to say.
I'm sure they'll lie lowfor a bit.
There's gotta be a way to find these creeps.
- Don't worry, you'll find 'em.
- Yeah.
You'll get them next time, champ.
What took you? Takes a while to get to full strength after a good bite.
Hey! Let's be reasonable about this.
You may have noticed, Spike, I left reasonable about three exits back.
Look, I'm not the one who gotyou into this.
Don't kill the messenger.
Why the hell not? Bloody hell! Oh, God! Plastic woodgrain.
Looks real, doesn't it? Don't think I don't know what's goin' on with you, Spike.
Stay away from her, or we'll do this for real next time.
Oh, man.
You're really under it, aren'tyou? What? Look atyou.
All afraid I'm hot for your honey.
Because you are.
Well yeah.
But that's notyour problem.
Even if I wasn't in the picture, you'll never hold onto her.
- Bloody hell! - Maybe I didn't almost kill you enough.
Come on.
You're not the long-haul guy and you know it.
- Shut up.
- You know it.
Or else you wouldn't be getting suck jobs from two-bit vampire trulls.
The girl needs some monster in her man, and that's not in your nature.
No matter how low you try to go.
You actually think you got a shot with her? No, I don't.
A fella's gotta try, though.
Gotta do what he can.
If you touched her, you know I'd kill you for real.
If I had this chip outta my head, I'd have killed you long ago.
Ain't love grand.
Sometimes I envy you so much, it chokes me.
And sometimes I think I got the better deal.
To be that close to her and not have her.
To be all alone even when you're holdin' her.
Feelin' her, feelin' her beneath you.
Surrounding you.
The scent.
No, you got the better deal.
I'm the lucky guy.
Yeah.
I'm the guy.
- How long has she been in there? - A while now.
Seems pretty gung ho about it, too.
Didn't even stop to say hello.
When we went to deal with that vampire nest, she got all Rambo and torched the place.
- Something really bad is going on with her.
- I don't know.
Maybe you're overreacting.
Who hasn't done stuff like that from time to time? I made a guy spontaneously combust.
He set his village on fire.
Can you stop being scary for a minute and listen to what I'm tryin' to tell you? - She in there? - She's training.
Would you guys mind clearin' out? I need a minute alone with her.
After-hours hanky-panky in the training room, huh? - Xander and I could tell you some stories! - Not now.
Let's go.
- There's a thing with the vaulting horse - Anya.
What? You started it.
In yourworld, OK.
But here, this isn't the time for tales of Anya and Xander's Sex Capades.
Well, maybe we can go home and, you know, have 'em.
Actually, I've got some stuff to take care of.
- We need to talk.
- I'm not ready to talkto you yet.
Too bad.
I'm serious.
Unless you wanna fight.
So let's fight.
We need to have this out, Buffy.
Right now.
And say what? "What were you thinking? How long have you been lying to me?" Nothing you say right now is gonna make this better.
I realise that.
I don't expect I just need you to hear me out.
Fine.
Getyour hand off of me.
I think when this thing started, it was just some stupid, immature game.
To get even after you let Dracula bite you.
- I did not let Dracula - I know.
On some level I knowthat.
But I was still spun.
I don't know I wanted to know whatyou felt.
I wanted to know why Dracula and Angel have so much power over you.
You so don't get it.
I wanted to get it, Buffy.
I wanted to getyou.
So this is my fault? "Hey, gee, Buffy's so mysterious, I think I'll go out and almost die.
" "I think I'll go and let some other" This isn'tyour fault.
It's mine.
And I feel like hell for what I've putyou through.
But it's just - These girls - Vampires.
Killers.
They made me feel something.
Something I didn't even know I was missing until I can't.
I can't hear this.
You need to hear this.
Fine.
Fine.
Tell me aboutyour whores.
Tell me what on earth they were giving you that I can't.
They needed me.
They needed your money.
It wasn't aboutyou.
No.
On some basic level it was about me.
My blood, my body.
When they bit me, it was beyond passion.
They wanted to devour me, all of me.
Why are you telling me this? It wasn't real.
I know.
It was just physical.
But the fact that I craved it, that I kept going back, even if it was fleeting, they made me feel like they had such hunger for me.
And I don't make you feel that way? How on earth can you compare me to that? How can you say you understand what those vampires feel? You weren't a passion to them, you were a snack.
A willing, idiotic snack.
I know exactly what they feel when they bite me.
I feel it every time we're together.
It's like the whole world falls away, and all there is is you.
And you thinkthat I don't feel the same way aboutyou? - How dare you tell me what I feel? - You keep me at a distance, Buffy.
You didn't even call me when your mom went into the hospital.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I couldn't take care of you when I thought my mother was dying.
It's about me taking care of you.
It's about letting me in, so you don't have to be on top all the time.
But I do.
That's part of what being a slayer is.
And that's what this is really about, isn't it? You can't handle the fact that I'm stronger than you.
- It's hard sometimes, yeah.
But that's not it.
- Then what? What else do you want from me, Riley? I've given you everything that I have.
I've given you my heart, my body and soul.
You say that, but I don't feel it.
I just don't feel it.
Well, whose fault is that? Because I'm telling you, this is it.
This is me.
This is the package.
And if it's so deficient that you need to getyour kicks elsewhere, then we really have a problem.
They want me back, Buffy.
The military.
It's deep undercover.
No contact with civilians.
Transport's leavin' tonight.
Tonight? When were you gonna tell me about this? I'm tellin' you now.
- Are you going? - I don't know.
- If we can't workthis out - Then what? This is goodbye? You are unbelievable.
- You're giving me an ultimatum? - No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
You expect me to get over it now or you're gone.
- That's not what I meant.
- I have heard enough.
- I will not take the blame for this.
- I'm not asking you to.
- Let go of me.
- Or what? You'll hit me? Go ahead.
Come on, do it.
- Get outta my way.
- I'm serious, Buffy, hit me.
Hit me.
I'm leaving, Buffy.
Unless you give me a reason to stay, I'm leavin' tonight.
The pyro act was a bad idea, Slayer.
- Felt pretty good to me.
- I'm not runnin'.
And you're not shuttin' me down.
In fact you're not gonna make it through the night.
Walk away.
I'm serious.
Don't do this.
Not now.
So, how'd that work out for ya? Make you feel better? - What are you doing here? - I thoughtyou might need to talk.
Then I sawthe skirmish.
I was gonna lend a hand, but I noticed you grew a few extra ones.
Go home, Xander.
Buffy.
- I'm serious.
- So am I.
Something's up.
You're actin' like a crazy person.
Take this, for instance.
You don't wanna deal, so you hide? Not very slayerlike.
Just leave me alone.
You have no idea what's going on.
No? Good.
So you and Riley aren't imploding? Doesn't take a genius.
What I can't figure out is how you never saw it coming.
What? Who told you? Nobody told me anything, Buffy.
It was right in front of my Xander face.
- The guy would do anything for you.
- The guy got himself bit by a vampire.
He lied to me.
He ran around behind my back and almost got himself killed.
And now he tells me that he's leaving with some covert military operation at midnight unless I convince him not to.
Nowtell me thatyou understand.
Because I sure as hell don't.
You gonna let him go? - It's not my decision to make.
- Of course it is.
- Well, it's not fair.
- Who cares if it's fair? In about 20 minutes, Riley's gonna disappear, maybe for ever, - unless you do something to stop him.
- What am I supposed to do? Beg him to stay? - Why wouldn'tyou? To keep Riley here - I don't even know who he is any more.
I mean, I thought he was dependable.
- Dependable? What is he, State Farm? - You know what I mean.
Yeah.
I think you mean convenient.
You took it for granted he'd show up when you wanted, and take off when you didn't.
Look who has Anya following him around like a lovesick puppy.
- Oh boy, is this not about me.
- Is she more than a convenience? Cos that would kinda be a surprise.
- If you don't wanna hear this, I'll shut up.
- Good, cos I don't.
I lied.
See, what I think, you got burned with Angel, and then Riley shows up.
- I knowthe story, Xander.
- Butyou missed the point.
You shut down, Buffy.
And you've been treating Riley like the rebound guy, when he's the one that comes along once in a lifetime.
He's never held back with you.
He's risked everything.
And you're about to let him fly because you don't like ultimatums? If he's not the guy, if what he needs from you just isn't there, let him go.
Break his heart, and make it a clean break.
But if you really think you can love this guy - I'm talkin' scary, messy, no-emotions-barred need - if you're ready for that, then think about whatyou're about to lose.
Xander Run.
Riley! Riley! Riley! I gotta say something.
Cos I don't think I've made it clear.
I'm in love with you.
Powerfully, painfully in love.
The things you do, the way you think, the way you move.
I get excited every time I'm about to see you.
You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life.
Like a man.
I just thoughtyou might wanna know.