Bull (2016) s03e10 Episode Script

A Higher Law

1 Last one to the mailbox? (CHUCKLES) Whoo! (LAUGHS) Morgan, move! Morgan! Morgan! DISPATCHER: All units be on the lookout for a white church van - with heavy frontal damage.
- It's long gone.
Forget I said anything.
(SIREN WAILING) - Come to Papa.
- Unit 1-5-2, we are northbound on River Road just past Cannon.
Show us following a vehicle possibly involved in felony hit-and-run 45 minutes ago.
White Ford van with license plate nine, Eddie, three, seven, Larry, Peter.
Requesting backup.
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) Lower the window, then place your hands back on the wheel.
Have you fellas found the woman? Is she okay? Sir, I smell alcohol.
Have you been drinking? ANDY: Oh, well I - Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out of the vehicle.
Keep your hands in front of you.
But what about the girl? Step out of the vehicle, now.
(CHURCH BELL RINGING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) You can set your watch to it.
9:52, each and every Sunday morning.
Benjamin Colón, Attorney at Law emerges from 9:00 mass looking - renewed and refreshed.
- (LAUGHS) Monsignor Espinoza! Wow! Ah, I see you're slumming it.
Huh, what, they bump you back down to parish priest? - (LAUGHS) Aren't you supposed to be working the door at St.
Patrick's Cathedral? - Hey, hey.
Do not be a wise guy.
Remember who I work for? Ah, indeed, indeed.
So good to see you, Father.
What brings you back down here? You.
Your church needs your help, Benny.
Promise you, Monsignor, I'm putting every dime I can spare in that plate.
I mean professionally.
One of our parish priests out on the end of Long Island, Father Andy Tincher, has been charged in a hit-and-run.
Victim was a young woman out jogging with her sister.
Yeah, I read about that.
Absolutely tragic.
But, I mean, what can I do? I have to believe the diocese's attorneys have it all covered, and frankly, from everything I've read, the best move, maybe, is to get your guys in there and have them work out a plea deal.
It's-it's a bit more complicated than that.
They hit someone, drove right to this church, and then went to confession? No, no, it was a church van.
Whoever it was, was driving a church van, so they drove straight back to the church, Father Andy saw whoever it was, saw that they were upset, got them to confess to him, then tried to get them to call 911.
And they wouldn't? - Nope.
Worse still, the driver didn't even know if the victim was alive or dead.
So Father Andy did the only thing he could do.
(ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES) So why didn't the priest call 911? Well, the Confessional Seal demands that a priest never reveal anything disclosed to him during confession.
Father Andy thought the victim might be suffering on the side of some dark road, so he got back in the van to find her and see if he could help.
With a blood alcohol count of .
(ELEVATOR BELL CHIMES) Fine, he-he's guilty of drunk driving, no one is disputing that, but the rest of it is exactly why Monsignor Espinoza needs our help.
He knows how this is gonna sound to a jury.
Oh, Benny.
- No, Bull, you're not, you're not hearing me.
This isn't just about a hit-and-run.
This is about the Church the Roman Catholic Church, the largest Christian church in the world going to court to protect the sanctity of confession, one of the bedrock principles of the religion, and they want you and me to make that case for them.
I feel terribly for the poor woman's family.
I mean, trying to grieve with all of this going on? I think it's just best we focus on the defense, Father.
BULL: As I'm sure you know, Father, as officers of the court, there are any number of privileges that we deal with.
But the Confessional Seal is considerably broader than what we've worked with before.
So I just need to get a sense of how big a blind spot it is we're dealing with here.
Of course, of course.
Fire away.
So this someone, whose name you can't share, hits the woman with the church van, comes back here and confesses.
And after that, how did they leave? Excuse me? I don't follow.
BENNY: I-I think what Dr.
Bull is asking is, what occurred after the sacrament of confession was performed? Maybe there are some things that you can tell us, without violating the Seal, that can help us find the person who actually did this.
I mean, wouldn't that be the best outcome for all of us? I don't think I'm gonna be much help here.
I mean if this had occurred in the confessional booth, I couldn't divulge information about the confessor as they left the church because they're on the other side of the curtain.
It's designed that way on purpose.
I'm not supposed to see who's offering the confession.
BULL: But this confession didn't take place in a confessional booth.
It was in the church driveway.
I don't think where you confess makes a difference to God.
Have you had any contact with the driver since he or she made the confession? It feels like these questions are really all just an effort to get to the identity of the confessor, which you have to understand, I'm not at liberty to disclose.
I mean, not without violating the spirit of the Confessional Seal.
Father Andy, I don't know what to tell you.
You were caught in the van with the victim's blood on it.
You were drunk.
You're being charged with vehicular manslaughter, leaving the scene of an accident, and driving under the influence.
The prosecution has a very strong case.
Now, I'm not asking you to break your vows or the Confessional Seal, but I can't defend you if you won't help defend yourself.
Huh? You just you got to give me something to work with.
I'll understand if you can't help me.
Will you really? You're willing to spend 15 or 20 years in prison for something you didn't do? Do you believe in God, Dr.
Bull? Well, when I'm on a plane and there's a lot of turbulence, I sometimes wish I'd gone to church a bit more, but day in and day out? Confession is a is a gift of grace and a way back to God for those who are lost.
It saves lives and souls.
I understand.
This is not a choice for me, gentlemen.
I mean, confession's not an obstacle to overcome so you can catch whoever did this.
It's-it's an essential step on the path to redemption for that tortured soul who killed that woman.
So, no.
I can't give you something to work with.
I'm doing the only thing I know how.
I'm putting my trust in God.
Thing that makes turbulence so frightening is you never see it coming.
Colón and I would be pleased to represent you, Father.
Don't think I've ever tried a case in Suffolk County.
Well, that's the judge, uh, there's the jury, and we sit here.
- Mm.
All right.
So what's the plan? Win.
Well, we need to make sure whoever ends up in that jury box understand the only reason Father Andy was in that van was because he made a solemn vow he could not break.
Well, that doesn't sound so tough.
People understand vows.
Marriage vows Well, you would be surprised.
For most people, the idea of going to prison just to keep a promise, that's gonna be a tough sell.
And it's not like we can put Father Andy on the stand.
Why not? I can't imagine a more trustworthy witness.
Well, the problem is he's not gonna be able to answer the questions the other side is gonna ask, and the jury's gonna hold that against him.
They're gonna feel like he's hiding something, which he is.
Even if it's for the right reasons? Trust me, it's human nature.
If someone's got a secret, we want to know what it is.
What about these jurors? I'm assuming we're looking for Catholics, or at the very least, regular churchgoers? Not necessarily.
Believe it or not, church attendance is not always such a great indicator of a person's spiritual life.
I see that you attend Hope Baptist Church? 17 years.
Every Sunday.
MARISSA: That may be what she's doing on Sundays, but the rest of the week, she's having an "emotional affair" via text with a man from Albuquerque she's never met, and who her husband is totally unaware of.
What we want are moral objectivists.
Jurors with a strong internal code that doesn't change with societal whims and bureaucratic rules.
They're duty bound, they know the value of a secret, and more importantly, expect everyone to keep their word.
Good morning, sir.
I see, from your jury questionnaire that you have a 14-year-old daughter.
I do.
By any chance, does she keep a diary? She calls it a journal.
- Ah.
You ever think about looking at it? Reading it? No.
That's not What if you were worried about her? Something going on behaviorally and she won't talk to you about? No.
I couldn't.
It's hers.
BENNY: Your Honor, this juror is acceptable to the defense.
And this is my domain.
Is this where someone would come if they wanted to check out the van? (SIGHS) If we still had one, and you wanted to use it, this is where you would come.
And the drivers? Well, there's Father Andy, of course, and me, and eight others are authorized to take it.
I'll get you the names.
How do you keep track of who has the van at any given time? Oh, well, every trip is entered on the calendar.
We don't want our choir stranded because someone decided to get groceries for the kitchen.
And the key? We keep it in here.
Only authorized drivers are given the combination.
And we have this log, which is where they're supposed to sign out whenever they take the key.
Unfortunately, no one signed out the night of the accident.
Oh, my gosh! There he is.
Harvard? Oh, that is amazing.
I have been praying you would hear good news.
ERIC: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the meantime, we're all starving here.
Pizza should be arriving any minute.
I'll get you your petty cash.
Give me a second.
I understand you also had an opportunity to examine the vehicle involved, the St.
Bernadine's church van? Yes, I did.
And this wasn't your first encounter with this particular vehicle, was it? No.
MADDEN: Can you tell us about it? I stopped to assist Father Andy two years ago.
He was in the same van on the side of the road with a flat tire.
Was there anything unusual about this interaction? He had clearly been drinking.
(PEOPLE GASPING) BENNY: Your Honor? May we approach? Your Honor, this is impermissible character evidence.
We all know that the prosecution isn't permitted to prove conduct through a prior bad act.
MADDEN: Defense counsel asserted in his opening statement that the defendant never would have driven drunk but for the alleged confession.
He opened the door to this.
We're permitted in fact, we're obligated to refute that defense.
I'm gonna allow it.
And did you arrest the defendant at that time? Cite him? No.
He was a priest, and I felt sorry for him, so I drove him back to the church.
No further questions, Your Honor.
So how bad is it? How bad would you like it? We've lost them all.
Not a single green in the bunch.
ANDY: I never put it together.
Not even when the officer took the stand.
I-It's not like he, he asked me if I'd been drinking, or It's not like he gave me a breathalyzer test.
I-I was trying to change a tire and he came over to help.
And, like, a minute in, he said, "How about I just give you a ride back to the church?" I'm guessing he could smell it on you.
It's not like that.
I-I'd come from a wedding.
It is like that.
You're on trial for murder, for killing a young woman while driving under the influence.
I wasn't drunk.
I think I'd had two glasses of wine.
Maybe three BENNY: Father Andy, we really need to know, are there gonna be any other surprises? No.
I'm certain of it.
Unfortunately, Officer Avery's testimony made it sound like this was a pattern of behavior.
I'm gonna need you to take the stand.
Uh what would be the point? I mean, what would you want me to say? The truth.
I need you to talk about the night of the flat tire.
There's no confession involved.
You don't need to talk about anybody but yourself.
It'll give the jurors a chance to see who you really are.
That you're forthcoming.
That you're not afraid to take the witness stand, and most importantly, that you're not someone who normally drinks and drives.
And what happens if they start asking about the hit-and-run? We'll invoke the cleric-penitent privilege.
What choice do we have? CHUNK: So, at this particular reception, how many drinks would you say you had? Two.
Maybe three glasses of wine.
Two? Maybe three? You don't remember? I mean, w-was it two or three? Well, truthfully, I can't be sure.
It was over two years ago.
Well, you testified that you-you really don't drink that often.
So I would think that you would remember if it was two or three.
Maybe I'll just answer "three" next time.
Ask me something else.
So it's your testimony, Father, that the only two times that you've been stopped by law enforcement happened to also be the only two times that you've drank and then got behind the wheel of a car? I-I Now, I know how that sounds.
I've-I've heard all the stories and all the jokes about drunken priests.
Go to a wedding, everybody's dressed up, everybody's there to have a good time.
And there I am, with my collar and my vows and my Bible, and I'm-I'm a-a silent reminder to everyone, uh, not to have too much fun.
Not to have too good a time.
And what I've discovered over the years is that if I'm holding a glass of something I-if I'm holding a glass of anything people relax a little bit.
They-they forget a little bit.
That's better.
That's warmer, it's a touch more human.
But frankly, the jury doesn't want to hear excuses, or that you drink to make them feel more comfortable.
A woman is dead.
And you know what happened and you won't tell anyone and you're asking for a pass.
And so what I want in return what, what they want in return is to feel that they know you.
To feel that they can trust you.
How do I do that? Take ownership of your mistakes.
"I drank too much.
"I should not have driven myself home.
"I vowed to never do it again.
The night of the hit-and-run "is a completely different thing.
"There was a woman on the side of the road who needed help and I was determined to help her.
" (EXHALES) Is this the way you always do it, prepare people for court? I mean, you raise your voice? You taunt them? Or is this just for me? No.
I have a complicated relationship with organized religion, and I think I projected that onto you.
Well, you're in good company.
A lot of people have problems with organized religion.
No, I don't have a problem with organized religion.
It has a problem with me.
Catholic? Baptist.
I went every Sunday.
I started singing in the choir in eighth grade.
Those were tough years for me.
I carried around a lot of shame.
I wasn't sure who I was, and when I started getting surer, I wasn't sure I liked it.
I can't count the number of nights that I'd go to sleep praying to God that he would fix me.
It was pretty clear that I was no longer welcome.
And I got to admit (SCOFFS) I miss it.
But now I guess you could say that my relationship with God is my own.
Well, good for you.
I'm glad you didn't give up on God because your church gave up on you.
Now, ask me another question.
DANNY: I'm telling you, anyone could have taken that van key, authorized or not.
TAYLOR: Well here's a crazy idea.
What if we forget about the who.
Maybe just concentrate on the where.
I'm not following.
Well, I was thinking, if I could just figure out where the van had been and where the van was heading, it might help us identify the driver.
You can do that? - Already did.
The van has an on board navigation system, which I was able to access remotely.
The cool thing is, any time the vehicle is on, the system notes and records its location whether you're asking it for directions or not.
We know the location of the hit-and-run.
So what I've been doing is looking for other trips that used that road, passed by that location.
And? And I found two others.
Both stopped at the same address.
Do they correlate with any other entries in the log pages? TAYLOR: They do not.
If you give me that address, I'll go over and check it out, - see what I can find out.
- Just e-mailed it to you.
(PHONE CHIMES) So Officer Avery didn't actually administer a breathalyzer test? No.
He didn't.
Or conduct any kind of field sobriety testing? No.
Uh, but I-I still think Officer Avery did the right thing, driving me home.
I'd had a few glasses of wine.
And, uh, I-I really shouldn't have driven.
It was a mistake, and one that I don't take lightly.
I don't make a habit of drinking and driving.
Although, I-I do understand how it must look.
And yet, you did drink and drive on the night of Ms.
Newhouse's death.
Yes, I did.
And I plead guilty to that.
Father, can you please explain to the court how you ended up behind the wheel of the van that night? I was in my office.
Uh, typically, Thursdays are the only night that, uh, I have any time to myself.
I have a Scotch.
I started to read.
A window was open and I heard the parish van drive up behind the rectory.
I didn't remember there being anything scheduled.
To be honest, I didn't even know that someone had taken it.
So I walked down to see who it was.
And what did you find? The driver this person was very upset.
And they confessed to me that they had struck a woman with the van.
And what did you do? I gave absolution.
And then I pleaded with the driver to call 911.
And did they? The person the-the driver they were pretty distraught.
They were quite hysterical.
And I realized that this person was not capable of making that call.
So did you make it? Did you call 911 when the driver refused to? No.
The Confessional Seal can't be broken.
So I couldn't.
And all I kept thinking about was this woman that I had just heard about.
And I-I had a only a vague description of where all of this happened.
(SIGHS) And the only thing I could think to do was to get in the van and go look for her myself.
Father Andy were you driving the van when it struck and killed Morgan Newhouse? When you called me up here, you had me place my hand on the Holy Bible.
And I swore that I would tell the truth.
So here it is.
I was not in that van when it struck poor Ms.
And I certainly was not driving that van when it struck her.
I did get in it and go look for her.
And I had a drink shortly before.
(ANDY SIGHS) I know how much it must ache not to know what happened.
I know how it pains me not to be able to tell you.
But God has a plan.
I believe that with all my heart.
Thank you, Father.
No further questions, Your Honor.
(QUIETLY): Drumroll, please They like him.
They sense he's telling the truth.
We've won back three jurors.
Father Andy let me make sure I understood you.
On the night in question, you went down to the van.
This alleged driver did not seek you out.
Is that correct? Yes, that's correct.
MADDEN: Okay, then.
Now that we've cleared that up, I have just one question for you.
If you weren't driving the van that killed Morgan Newhouse who was? - Objection! Your Honor, as we've previously established, this information is protected by the cleric-penitent privilege.
I disagree, Your Honor.
Would the attorneys please approach the bench? Your Honor, based on Father Andrew's testimony just moments ago, the privilege doesn't apply in this case.
To meet the legal threshold, the penitent must be intentionally seeking spiritual guidance and absolution.
Your client just admitted that it was he who sought out the driver, - not the other way around.
- Well, that's ridiculous.
It's obvious what the intent of the law is, Your Honor.
Colón, I understand your argument, but since the language of the statute doesn't support your position, I'm going to have to side with Mr.
I'm sorry, but no privilege will be granted with regard to your client's testimony.
I sense some turbulence coming.
The witness is instructed to answer the question.
I'm sorry, Your Honor.
I cannot answer.
Father Andy, the court ruled that the clergy-penitent privilege doesn't apply.
For the second time, you are instructed to answer the question.
Again I apologize to the court but the Confessional Seal forbids it.
My vow to the Church forbids it.
My oath to God forbids it.
This is your last chance.
If you don't answer the question, I will be forced to hold you in contempt of court.
I'm sorry.
I answer to God and the Vatican.
Unfortunately for you, this is not a court of God.
This is a court of law.
I'm holding you in contempt of court.
(GAVEL BANGS) And because you won't allow yourself to be cross-examined, your previous testimony is stricken from the record.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I instruct you to disregard the testimony of the defendant in its entirety.
You will not consider anything he said in your deliberations.
Take this man into custody.
I sought out this firm's help for one reason and one reason only.
The Church is committed to protecting the sanctity of confession.
We cannot and we will not allow a secular court to render 20 centuries of Catholic sacrament irrelevant.
(SIGHS) Monsignor But as this trial has commenced, it has degenerated from a reasoned conversation about a treasured Catholic sacrament into something else entirely.
Into a spectacle.
The news is filled with revelations of drunk driving.
A Catholic priest paraded before the press in handcuffs.
A growing public belief that the Church is harboring a priest who is wielding confession as a shield behind which to hide his own criminal behavior.
Well, w-we know how it looks, but the trial isn't over yet.
It is.
For us.
I am sorry, gentlemen.
I know how hard you've worked.
You're firing us.
- No.
I am directing you to negotiate a plea.
The quicker the better.
The sooner this case is no longer a part of the public conversation, the better it will be for everyone.
Except possibly Father Andy.
The man's innocent.
Really? You still believe that, after everything we heard in that courtroom? And you wonder why you don't see me in church on Sundays.
It's guys like this.
They're with you through thin and thin.
Don't you dare judge me.
I have parishes to worry about.
Hey, Benny.
Help your friend out.
I think he's looking for the high side of the boat.
It's out that door, down the elevator and right out onto the street.
And just to be clear whether you pay our bill or not, Benny and I are going to be representing Father Andy in court, defending his innocence.
Because and this might be a novel concept, but when we make a promise, when we make a pledge we keep it.
Oh, relax.
You're going to be fine.
It's me.
I'm going to hell.
But then again, I always was.
Sorry to bother you.
My name's Danny James.
I'm an investigator working on behalf of Father Andy from St.
Bernadine Church.
I'm trying to track down some information on a hit-and-run that occurred a few weeks back on River Road.
Oh, of course.
I read about that, yeah.
Have you seen this vehicle? We have reason to believe it was actually parked in front of your house a little over a month ago.
Uh, Jacob drove it here.
I think that's his church's.
They let him drive it sometimes.
Jacob? Jacob Larson.
Oh, um We met at church camp last summer.
He doesn't go to my school or anything, but we started hanging out after that.
Do you still see him? No.
Not for a few weeks, actually.
It wasn't serious or anything.
Or maybe I thought it was more serious than he did.
So, wait.
You don't see him anymore? He got into Harvard.
And I guess it kinda changed him.
How so? Well, the day he got the letter, he called me.
He was super excited, because he got in.
He got in! And, um, he wanted to come over that night and celebrate.
And then he just didn't show up.
And you haven't talked to him since? I called him.
I texted him.
I even DM'd him on Instagram.
And nothing.
I'm over it.
DANNY: and as it happens, the quickest route from St.
Bernadine's to Jessica's house is River Road.
So Jacob would have driven right by the scene of the accident.
Taylor, when did those Harvard early admission notices go out? E-mail notifications went out Thursday the 29th.
Same day as the hit-and-run.
BULL: So Jacob gets into Harvard.
He's thrilled.
He's on his way over to see his girl, he hits Morgan.
He panics.
Turns around, heads back to the church, and afterwards, he is scared and guilt-ridden, and cuts off all contact with Jessica.
So we cracked the case, right? Still waiting for our "attagirls.
" (CHUCKLES) Well, I wouldn't say you cracked it.
More like dinged it a little.
It's great, but not enough to save Father Andy.
- But we know who did it.
- BENNY: No.
No, actually, we don't.
It's just a theory.
We can't actually prove anything other than this Jacob got into Harvard.
What else do we know about this Jacob? Lives with his mom, straight-A student.
Spends a lot of time at church and volunteering, and has never been in trouble.
So he's a good kid.
Not a cold-blooded killer.
Just someone who made a horrible mistake.
Got to be scared.
Riddled with guilt.
Dying to talk.
So what are you thinking? I'm thinking this kid confessed once before; maybe we can get him to do it again.
Can I help you? Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.
Uh, I think you might be in the wrong place.
I'm setting up for a youth group.
There's a bulletin board outside in the hall that lists everything else that's going on.
I'm in the right place.
You're Jacob, right? My name's Dr.
Jason Bull.
I'm part of Father Andy's legal team.
(EXHALES) I don't know if you've heard, but things aren't going very well.
How do you mean? He's a priest.
- Everyone knows he would never - Everybody knows what they're told.
Hmm? Father Andy was driving the van.
He'd had a drink, and a woman died.
The only real question is: will he go to prison for 15 years or will it be 20? Will he die in prison or will he live long enough to get out and have a few years of freedom? My guess is it was a horrible accident.
What's your guess? It was an e-mail from Harvard's Office of Admissions.
It said that I got in.
BENNY: Harvard.
That's quite an accomplishment.
You must have been very excited, very proud.
I was.
And I was really grateful.
(SNIFFLES) I had got a lot of help.
Encouragement from my mom.
People at the church.
I'm the first person in my family to go to college.
Or, uh, would have been.
I'm guessing you wanted to celebrate.
I was dating this girl, Jessica.
I thought maybe we could do something.
Nothing big, you know.
Just hang out.
I didn't have any money for an Uber or a taxi, or anything.
And I St.
Bernadine's is just down the street.
And I knew the van would be there.
And that wasn't the first time you borrowed the van, was it? JACOB: No, I had taken it twice before to see Jessica.
And what happened after you borrowed the van? I was driving and I got a text.
It wasn't even really for me.
It was just an ad for some stupid game.
And there was a thud.
At first I thought it was a deer.
But then I looked up.
BENNY: And what did you do? I didn't do anything.
I knew I should, I should get out.
Help her, but I didn't.
So you just sat there.
(SNIFFLES) I turned around (SNIFFLES) and I started driving back to the church.
I just (SNIFFLES) I wanted to get out of that van.
I wanted to make it not have happened.
I'd just gotten the best news of my life.
BENNY: So you got back to the church And I'm standing in the parking lot.
I'm looking at the dent.
The blood.
(SNIFFLES) And there's Father Andy.
It was like God had already told him.
He said God would forgive me for anything, but I needed to confess.
So I did.
And then, he tried to get me to call the police.
But all I could think of was my mom and my friends and my future.
I'm so, so sorry.
I-I never meant to hurt your sister, your daughter.
Not my mom.
Not Father Andy.
BENNY: No further questions, Your Honor.
Madden, any questions? Your Honor, in light of this testimony, we'd like to dismiss the charges against Father Andrew Tincher.
And we'd also like to seek an arrest warrant for Jacob Larson in the felony hit-and-run of Morgan Newhouse.
JUDGE: So ordered.
(GAVEL BANGS) Just so you know, we're gonna do everything we can to get Jacob the best deal possible.
You'd think after all these years, I'd have a better grasp on how God works.
Still a mystery.
I was watching Jacob on the stand, and I I just kept wondering maybe I'm just supposed to plead guilty.
You don't really believe that.
But you were willing to do it, weren't you? Give up one or two decades of your life.
Walk all alone into a prison for someone else.
I I wouldn't have been alone.
I envy you.
You envy me? Had myself a little heart attack about six months ago on the courthouse steps.
Not this courthouse I never would have known.
(SIGHS) Funny thing is, I was lying there, ridiculous pain, middle of the day, people walking by.
And I looked up and I didn't see any angels, I didn't see some glorious white light.
I just saw a patch of blue sky.
I was dying in the middle of New York City and I was all alone.
Yeah, I envy you.
You're never alone, are you? No, I'm not.
You know, Dr.
Bull, you could have that, too.
There's always a place at the church for you.
You know, I'd be pleased to help you find the way.
Well, that's a very tempting offer, Father.
The thing is, as I'm sure you know, God moves people in mysterious ways.
The way he moves me, I just cannot drag my butt out of bed on a Sunday morning.
But like you said who are we to question how God works? You know you're going to hell, right? Yup.
Already booked my suite.