Bunk'd (2015) s04e07 Episode Script


1 Happy Solstice, guys.
The longest day of the year means more time for good news.
I checked the suggestion box and I'm happy to say there was an overwhelming response to bring back a tried and true camp tradition.
Please be candle making, please be candle making.
It's camp uniforms! Good idea, guys.
Save up your excitement for when you're actually wearing 'em.
I'm gonna go get my pins and measuring tape and start sizing you guys up.
Apologies ahead of time.
I'm not very good with pins, so there will be blood.
Uniforms? They're the one thing I despise about going to school.
Tell me about it.
No, seriously.
Tell me about school, I've never been to one.
At my school, instead of expressing who I am in a houndstooth jacket and Sansabelt slacks, I have to wear the same double-breasted Worcester with pleated pants as everyone else.
I hear you, man.
I don't understand you, but I hear you.
What I'm saying is, being forced to wear uniforms just like everyone else makes me feel like a robot.
You know what makes me feel like a robot? When we play robot.
Do you wanna play robot? I'll be the robot.
We've got a Solstice surprise for you.
Ava and I were just over in the woods digging a new garden and look who we found buried there.
It's Cuddles.
Your wood nymph dream effigy.
We made her a head just like the last one.
What have you done? Clearly something worse than gluing googly eyes on a pinecone.
Cuddles was really mad when Finn's tennis ball machine knocked her head off.
I knew if I stuck around long enough, this conversation would circle back to me.
To hold back Cuddles' power, I had to ritually bury her.
In a pit of salt.
Under a copy of the Book of the Dead.
You know, you still haven't said "Thank you.
" You don't understand.
Tonight is the Summer Solstice, when the veil between our world and the supernatural is at its thinnest.
Cuddles' dream powers are stronger than ever before.
(ALL LAUGHING) Gwen, we love you, but you better stop saying that kind of stuff before you move to town.
Yeah, some of the superstitions you believe in are just plain silly.
You think I'm silly? No.
Just some of the things you say like you're supposed to spit on a coin for good luck.
Or that you have to whistle when you pass a graveyard.
Or that trees are alive.
That one's a real thing.
What? Woodpeckers are monsters.
This is a real thing, too.
I need to go bury Cuddles again before she can terrorize our dreams.
Not now, it's almost dark.
You can bury your doll in the morning.
I think waiting is a bad idea.
But not as bad as camp uniforms, right? Really, the kid in the seersucker shorts is the one fighting me on uniforms? ALL: Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka Man, I slept great last night.
Me too.
And no bad dreams.
Hopefully this means Gwen will stop being so weird about Cuddles.
Ninety-eight, ninety-nine Well, that hope just died.
Hey, Gwen, what you doing? Why're you doing it? And can you stop doing it? Are you talking to that ugly doll again? You shouldn't say mean things about Cuddles.
You'll make her angry.
And you wouldn't like Cuddles when she's angry.
On that creepy note, I have lifeguard duty, so why don't you guys grab your things and meet me down by the docks? (GASPS) Destiny, before you go, Cuddles has something she wants to talk to you about.
No, thanks, Gwen.
I don't want to have anything to do with that weird doll.
Actually, Cuddles insists.
(GASPS) Hey, Lou, have you seen Destiny? She didn't show up for swim time and I still can't find her.
Knowing Destiny, she's probably just boycotting lunch again.
For some reason that girl has a real problem with "Maybe Steak? Monday.
" People generally don't like meat that ends with a question mark.
Let's just ask Gwen.
Hey, Gwen, have you seen Destiny? We haven't.
Uh We? She means her doll.
Weird that Cuddles doesn't know where Destiny is since she's so powerful.
Ava, let's be patient with Gwen.
- (CLATTERING) - (GASPS) Bad Cuddles.
Ava, let's get away from Gwen.
I don't know about you, but I think there's something sinister going on with that doll.
It's almost like it has some weird power over Gwen.
What do you think, Ava? Ava? Hey, Gwen, have you seen Ava? I thought she was right behind me.
Ava is exactly where she belongs.
- Her cabin? - No.
She's where all those who laugh and make fun of others go.
The kickball field? Just go look at the story post.
Holy, story poley.
Hissy fit with a tail on it.
Hey, Lou, what you doing? You know what I'm doing, Gwen.
This thing trapped our friends in the story post.
Kind of poetic, isn't it? They didn't believe a soul could be trapped in this chunk of wood, so now they're trapped in a chunk of wood.
Man, I'm good.
Yeah, yeah, it's a great metaphor.
But this thing is controlling you and it needs to be stopped.
Goodbye forever, Cuddles.
(EXCLAIMS) Now the curse is over and our friends are free.
Wha-boom! Now our friends are free.
Wha-boom! Maybe you didn't hear my wha-boom? Burning a wood nymph dream effigy doesn't destroy its powers.
I mean, it's not like Cuddles is a forest goblin wish doll.
Well, then what does burning her do? It releases Cuddles' spirit and now she needs a new place to call home, Lou.
Or should I say, "Cuddles"? (GASPS) (SCREAMING) (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) (ALL SCREAMING) ALL: You'll never believe the dream I just had.
You'll never believe the dream I just had.
Wait, is that what you all were just shouting in unison? Next time, wait for me.
You know I love group yelling.
In my dream, that creepy doll Cuddles possessed Gwen and trapped us all on the story post.
- (ALL GASP) - The same thing happened in mine.
And then Lou threw Cuddles in the fire.
- (ALL GASP) - Mine too.
And then I dreamt that Lou was turned into Cuddles.
(ALL GASP) And in mine, twist, nobody liked my "Maybe Steak? Monday.
" Feedback received.
We've angered Cuddles and now she wants vengeance.
How could something so cute be so evil? My first pageant coach used to say the same thing about me.
He learned quick.
I told you all, but you didn't listen.
Cuddles needs to be stopped.
Okay, okay, I am a rational adult.
I do not believe that a doll could control our dreams.
But, just in case Ah, this should help me sleep.
Warm milk and A Guide to Scotland's Greatest Sheep.
Maybe I shouldn't have chosen such an exciting book.
Cuddles? What are you doing out here? Looks like you're bunking with us tonight.
Huh? That's weird.
Oh, well.
Noah, are you okay? Trombone.
What is my character's motivation? Hamburgers are ready.
Hamburgers are ready.
Hamburgers are ready Hamburgers are ready.
Come on, Bigfoot.
Just put down the pizza.
Noah, wake up.
Matteo, what's going on? You don't remember? You woke up yelling weird words and two people came in and carried you out and then carried you back in and then you weren't yelling weird words anymore.
You woke me up for that? I was this close to getting my pizza back from Bigfoot.
Sometimes I just talk in my sleep.
I hope I didn't scare you.
But I swear I saw those Matteo, it's late.
We'll talk about this in the morning.
(SIGHS) Fine, I'll just calm myself down by reading.
"The sheep are selective grazers, preferring leaves and blades over stems.
" Ah, man! My heart's racing even faster now.
(GASPS) Well, don't you two look finer than a frog's hair split four ways.
That means you look good.
Why do they have to be brown? It's a nod to the first campers who came here when the only color they had was brown.
Also, I got a good price because they were marked "Too ugly for retail.
" Sorry, Lou.
But I can't get into the new dress code.
I feel robbed of my individuality and freedom of expression.
I just like that I don't have to change until the end of camp.
That is not true at all.
Finn, I wasn't seeing things last night.
Noah was acting strange, almost like he was Glitching.
Wait, what are you saying? What if those two people were replacing one Noah with another Noah? Because he's a robot.
How could Noah be a robot? Robots are made of metal.
(IN MONOTONE) That hurt me a lot.
Still not convinced.
Well, look at him now.
See? He's moving like a robot.
No, he's just doing the Robot.
It's a dance.
And the only thing wrong with it is he's not doing it with me.
Oh, hey, Noah.
Finn and I were just building you a throne out of old roofing.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Not quite what I wished for on that star last night, but, close enough.
It all started when we were discussing Shakespeare, and I told Finn how King Lear is my favorite play of all time Wait, that's my favorite play of all time.
What? That is such a coincidence that I would never know about without creeping on your social media.
We would love to see you play your best Lear for us.
Really? I've been waiting for this day my whole life.
(CLEARING THROAT) So we'll live, and pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh at the gilded butterflies It's so long.
And we'll wear out in a walled prison packs of great ones that ebb and flow by the moon.
(CLEARS THROAT) And scene.
You've just been Leared.
Wait, what's going on here? I'm stuck.
Of course, you are.
This throne has magnets hidden inside of it, which proves you're a robot made of metal.
No, it just proves I have keys in my pocket.
Keys to your robot car.
Wait, you think I'm a robot? Why on the human planet Earth would you think I'm a robot? That's a weird way to say that.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) Okey-doke, okey-doke, okey-doke, you've just been (POWERING DOWN) Leared.
Matteo, you were right.
I knew it.
We need to go tell Lou.
Noah woke up saying weird words, and was replaced by another Noah, and his body's made of metal and he started sparking when I threw water on him and he nailed King Lear.
So many words.
Noah's a robot.
See? Less is more.
Thank you for coming to me with this, boys.
I know exactly what needs to be done.
(BEEPING) What is going on? Sweet, innocent Matteo.
I've gotta hand it to you, you figured it all out.
But I'm afraid you're too late.
My master plan is nearly complete! (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) Lou? You're behind this? But why? I was tired of the campers not doing things my way, the Kikiwaka way.
So I decided to make them all fall in line, starting with The uniforms.
That's right.
And then I figured, why not go all the way with it? Swapping out campers for robots is quick and mostly painless.
And the robots are superior in every way.
Superior? Seems like Noah needs a lot of maintenance.
Yeah, his model's a real lemon.
I probably should have updated him more often, but every time I did, he needed a new charger.
That's where they get ya.
Now, to finish what I started (BEEPING) You'll never turn Finn and me into robots.
- (SNEEZES) - (SPARKING) - Uh, did sparks just come out of you? - No.
I can't believe it.
Even my best friend is a robot.
And now it's your turn.
- Campers.
Get him.
- (BEEPING) (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) (SCREAMING) (ALL SCREAMING) (PANTS) Did you Did we Butt sparks? (ALL SCREAMING) AVA: What's going on? Why are you screaming? We all just had the same bad dream.
Lou was an evil mastermind turning all of the campers into robots.
Oh, did I have a hat? Wait, we all had a shared dream too.
Cuddles possessed Gwen and put us all into the story post.
Our dream was cooler.
See? This confirms it, the power of Cuddles is real.
The only way to stop the dreams is to perform the ritual and rebury Cuddles in the woods.
Okay, well, where is she? She's by my bed, come on.
Cuddles is gone! We're totally fine! We're just under the control of a vengeful nightmare doll who's come to life.
If we can't find Cuddles, how are we going to stop this? This is all happening because it's still the Summer Solstice.
If we can stay awake until morning, then Cuddles will lose her powers over our dreams.
Stay up all night? (SCOFFS) No problem.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
I didn't even close my eyes that time.
(LAUGHS) I know.
Guys, look, the sun's coming up.
We did it.
The Solstice is over.
ALL: (CHEERING) Yes! I could definitely go for some breakfast.
(GASPS) Today's special is beaver Benedict.
I could definitely go for some hot tea.
Where is everybody? Shouldn't they be starting to make breakfast? (VOICE CACKLING) (GASPS) Guys, I think we may have fallen asleep on the lawn.
We're stuck in a nightmare again? We can't be.
It's Cuddles! She's back and she's big.
What does she want? - (THUDDING) - (ALL SCREAMING) Dream effigies feed on fear.
Cuddles must be trying to scare us to grow more powerful.
I bet that's why she's giving us these nightmares.
She knows what we're afraid of.
Then maybe if we face those fears, we could defeat Cuddles for good.
And what happens if we don't? We'll be stuck in a nightmare forever.
I'm guessing.
I've never been trapped in a nightmare before.
What fear was your guys' nightmare about? I'm pretty sure it was about learning Shakespeare.
Matteo? Have you been wearing your uniform this whole time? (SCREAMING) Not again.
Wait, you're afraid of the uniforms? No, it's Ugh.
I'm afraid of being just like everyone else.
That's ridiculous.
You speak four languages, you're a math prodigy On the first day of camp, you gave us all personalized bottles of hand sanitizer That's what that bottle is? I've been using it as hair gel And none of you noticed! It doesn't matter what you're wearing, you're always going to be special.
Really? I guess now that I think about it, this outfit isn't so bad.
Guys, I think it's working.
Matteo getting over his fear is weakening Cuddles.
Quick, what fear was Cuddles feeding on in your dream? CUDDLES: Gwen, come back to the woods with me.
Oh, that must've been your fear.
But why would you be afraid of the woods? I'm not afraid of the woods, okay? I'm afraid of I don't wanna say it.
We're running out of time, Gwen.
Come on, say it.
I'm afraid of people making fun of me, okay? You're always laughing at things I believe in.
We don't mean to make you feel bad.
If I can't even fit in with my friends at camp, how will I fit in when I move to town? Cuddles is right.
I really do belong back in the woods.
- CUDDLES: Time to go, Gwen.
- (ALL SCREAMING) (CUDDLES CACKLING) No, Gwen, you belong here with us.
LOU: You can't have her, Cuddles.
Yeah, she's ours.
If you're gonna take Gwen, you're gonna have to take me too.
- And me.
- And me.
FINN: Me too.
You guys don't have to do this.
Yes, we do.
We'll all face your fear together.
Into the mysterious void on the count of three.
Did we do it? Did we beat Cuddles? Or is this still a dream? There's only one way to be sure.
(FARTS) No sparks, we're awake.
I don't wanna know the story behind that.
And Gwen, I hope you know that you'll always belong with us.
I do now.
And we're sorry that we made you feel like we were making fun of you.
It's okay, I get it.
I poke fun at your weird beliefs sometimes too.
I mean, (SCOFFS) "Wi-Fi?" Like, yeah, there are magical beams moving through the air sending "information.
" (CHUCKLES) You guys.
Uh, should we tell her? Nah, let's let her have this one.
Thanks for getting rid of the uniforms, Lou.
But what about all those votes for uniforms in the suggestion box? Are we gonna pretend I didn't write those? Come on.
Okay, now that Cuddles has been buried, repeat after me in ancient Pentish.
Tura vet koth ALL: Tura vet koth.
Nor ella kin ALL: Nor ella kin Fantomonagashakaraskatoosha pan.
Thanks, guys Bye, Cuddles, I'll miss you.