Carol's Second Act (2019) s01e13 Episode Script

Night Lemons

So then the von Trapp family makes it out of the theater and crosses the Alps together to freedom.
That's what The Sound of Music is about? That's crazy.
The main girl is in love with a Nazi, and you're supposed to root for her? No, no, no.
The main character is Maria, the nun.
I don't get it.
This is why no one likes your generation.
I'm not staying there if there's a gas leak.
What do you mean, it might help me sleep? Just fix it.
Ugh, I hate my landlord.
Do you hate hairbrushes, too? Yeah.
You look like a bird flew into your hair.
No shade.
That's how I ended up with this cut.
I had to flee my apartment.
I didn't have time to grab my hairbrush.
Now I have to find another place to stay tonight.
Maybe I'll find an Airbnb, or call me crazy, a regular B&B? A B&B? Don't stay at some weird old person's house.
Stay with me.
You'll have a bed, breakfast, and nonstop access to fresh fruit and friendship.
Really? That would be amazing.
You can sleep in Jenny's old room.
I promised her I wouldn't read her diaries.
- But you didn't.
- Mm.
If I find out how old she was when she lost her virginity, should I tell you? Lexie, she already told me.
She was 26.
Having you stay over will be so fun.
I used to love slumber parties as a kid.
Oh, I was great at sleepovers.
I always stayed up the latest and put everyone's undies in the freezer.
It's the party people.
You have permission to stay in my room, and you also have permission to read my diaries.
Aw, you guys give the same permissions.
I wish I could join, first for the fun, and second, I have to borrow all your pots and pans again.
What happened to your birthday pans? I took them back to the store and turned them into birthday earrings.
Have fun tonight, you guys.
You know, it's rude to talk about an event in front of someone who hasn't been invited.
Oh, Dennis, are you jealous? Course not.
But I swear to God, if you choreograph any dances without me, there will be hell to pay.
This patient was admitted with cardiogenic shock.
We need to take his blood pressure in real time.
He's sedated, so we can insert the a-line.
Ah, yes.
The iPhone generation loves using the ultrasound to detect an artery.
Nothing's coming up.
Well, looks like it's broken again.
- I think you just need to - It's broken.
- I think you just need to turn it on.
- I'll handle this.
No ultrasound? But how are you gonna find the artery? What if you miss? Good thing I don't miss.
That's incredible.
He just inserted an a-line blind.
That's like putting in contacts with a foam finger.
The patient is stable.
Let's move.
Technology has become a crutch.
New doctors are not learning the clinical skills which have been the foundation of medicine for hundreds of years.
So I propose, for the next few days, we stay away from technology and we practice the fundamentals.
We're going acoustic.
Frost Unplugged.
Excellent repartee, Dr.
Great idea, Dr.
Teach these newbies a thing or two.
Well, I think you could benefit from the back-to-basics experience as well, Dr.
I can assure you, my skills are more than sufficient.
Well, I am excited to see them.
Hey! Dr.
Jacobs, you're one of us.
I will never be one of you.
Carol, I love your place.
- Not as many tchotchkes as I expected.
- Mm-hmm.
But about the right amount of throw pillows.
Well, after my ex-husband moved out, I redecorated a bit.
Give me a handful of throw pillows, and I'll give you a home.
You really did win Teacher of the Year every year.
2001, 2002, 2004 wait.
Where's 2003? It's in there.
"Teacher of the Year First Runner-Up 2003"? Yeah.
Yeah, another teacher saved the principal from choking on a tater tot.
It's all politics.
So, what should we do first? Binge a TV show, paint our nails Oh, we could prank-call Caleb.
I was planning on taking a shower, but I haven't prank-called someone since junior high.
But we would need a landline.
Oh, you mean, like this? Tell me it has a super long cord.
Oh, yeah.
The longest.
I canceled my cable from the toilet.
- Carol with her hair down? - Mm.
I feel like I'm seeing James Bond in flip-flops.
Oh, did you order food? No, it's probably Jerry.
Who? - Hey, there, Jer.
- Hello.
- Come on in.
Meet my friend Lexie.
- Oh.
Hey, Lexie.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, Carol, I picked these from my tree.
I wanted to bring them by because I know how much you like making lemon bars.
You are the sweetest, Jerry.
Wow, you sure are.
Carol, where have you been hiding this one? Next door for the past 20 years.
You are so funny, Carol.
Hey, uh, while I was up on my ladder picking these bad boys, I noticed your gutters were a little clogged.
I can clean them out for you tomorrow if you like.
I will pay you in lemon bars.
Deal! I'll give you change in smiles.
- All right.
See you later, Carol.
- Okay.
- Always a pleasure.
Hey, nice meeting you, Lexie.
- Hmm.
Well, well, well.
Hair-down Carol has a gentleman admirer.
What are you talking about? Uh, old Jerry? He wants to get in your gutters, girl.
He's just a good neighbor.
Carol, you're still wearing your marriage glasses.
What? What do you mean by that? Uh, how long were you married? - 22 years.
- So for 22 years, you were completely blind to anyone showing interest in you.
Because what was the point? You were practically dead.
But I'm not married anymore, so how can I be wearing marriage glasses? Carol, it takes time to break that long of a habit.
Jer is throwing love beams in your direction, and your marriage glasses are blocking out the rays.
I can't see them because they're not there.
All I'm saying is I'm not exchanging night lemons with my neighbors.
Jerry is a nice friend, end of story.
Jerry is in love with you, end of story.
Now, let's call Caleb and pretend we're Jane Goodall and ask for money.
Sommers, nice job identifying that positive egophony in a patient's lungs.
And don't worry, you two.
You'll get better with practice.
A significant amount of practice.
Yeah, you guys.
When someone's lungs are clear, and they say "A", it sounds like, "Eh".
But when they have pneumonia, it sounds like, "Ee".
Do you hear the difference? "Eh, ee" "Eh, ee, eh, ee, eh, ee, eh" - We got it! - Excellent.
Our next patient has dilated cardiomyopathy.
Who wants to learn a cardiac percussion test? It's a conga beat.
Muy caliente.
Let's go.
This is ridiculous.
We've seen two patients in the time it usually takes us to see ten.
You know how I know this is pointless? Because Caleb is good at it.
We are paying the price for Dr.
Frost's technophobia.
Guys, this chest isn't gonna tap itself.
Let's move.
Oh, this has to stop.
Thanks for letting me stay with you, but don't worry, I'm going home tonight so you and Jerry can finally smash.
You know, I don't usually say things like this to people who I care about, but zip it.
Why are you telling Lexie to zip it? I was talking about Carol's boyfriend.
- Mm.
How is Jerry? - Jenny.
- I knew it! - Oh, is he still bringing her love lemons? Carol's got a man-friend? Oh, tell me everything.
He's not my man-friend.
He's a man who is my friend.
You know, men can be nice to women they don't want to date.
But if they like you, they'll do anything.
I've, uh, never had to hire a mover in my life.
You know, this seems like a very outdated point of view, and that's coming from me.
You've seen my landline.
All right, allow me to demonstrate.
Hey, uh, can you grab me some ketchup? You have legs.
I'm busy.
Now, observe this.
Hey, Jake.
Hey, Lexie, what's up? I need to get my tires rotated, but I don't feel like it.
Can you drive it to the garage and have them do it and then bring it back here? Yeah, sure, of course.
When? Now? I could take a sick day.
You know what? Never mind.
Just grab me some ketchup.
Oh, my gosh.
I think you guys might be right.
Have I been wearing marriage glasses? Does Jerry really have feelings for me? Yes! Carol, are you gonna get with Jerry? Oh, gosh, no.
No, no.
Jerry is not my type.
He's too gentle.
You know, I like a man with an edge, like Harry Connick Jr.
Ooh, Carol.
Girl, you a freak.
Oh, my God.
Where do you want to live? Yes.
Enjoy your new friends.
Hey, Jerry.
Thanks for coming.
What's this? Lemon bars.
I realized today, what with your busy doctor schedule, you might not have time to make them yourself, so I whipped you up a batch.
Oh, sweet, gentle Jerry.
Come on in.
Now, they are a little unconventional.
I added just a hint of freshly grated nutmeg for some spice.
Jerry, we need to talk.
Is it the gutters? You know, there was a crow up there giving me the business, so I didn't clean them out quite as thoroughly as I wanted.
It's not that.
Jerry, you are such a nice guy and a great neighbor.
This is hard to say.
But I can tell you have feelings for me Nope, nope.
No, I do not.
- What? - I-I I am sorry for any misunderstanding.
I mean, you are a-a nifty gal and-and a nice neighbor, but, yeah, that is, that's it.
But you're always bringing me lemons.
The constant lemons.
My tree makes too many; if I don't get rid of them, I wind up with a real squirrel problem.
But all the chores.
I just wanted to lend a hand.
I mean, ever since your divorce, you've been all alone.
I guess, I just felt sorry for you.
I Oh, I didn't I got to go.
I feel like I came at a bad time.
Oh, there she is.
How'd it go last night with Jerry? You two bump oldies? Oh, you didn't tell her? Yes, I talked to Jerry and made a complete ass out of myself.
It was so embarrassing.
What happened? Jerry told me he didn't have any romantic feelings toward me and we were just neighbors and friends.
Gee, does that sound familiar to you two? Yeah, that's exactly what you said.
I'm sorry, Mom, but all the signs were there.
It was so awkward.
Plus, he still has my air fryer.
I'm never gonna see that again.
So just like that, no more Jerry.
And by the way, why isn't Jerry interested in me? The man has prescription halitosis medication.
I felt bad before.
Now I feel worse.
Man, I was so sure.
Uh, maybe the olds just communicate differently.
Yeah, I wouldn't show up to someone's house unless I was basically proposing.
Maybe that lemon farmer was just neighborly.
Maybe he feared that if he spoke his truth, his heart would be broken.
Or whatever.
I don't know.
Shut up! Mrs.
Our next patient is a 70-year-old female admitted with chest pains and dizziness.
Jacobs, why don't you take your stethoscope and have a listen.
Actually, sir, we're running very behind.
To speed things up, I grabbed this portable ultrasound.
It can give us results in seconds.
Well, that sounds like the perfect solution for a doctor on the go.
It connects directly to your phone through Bluetooth.
Boom! Check out this picture quality.
That is a clear aortic stenosis.
Guys, I thought we were trying to I'm holding her heart in my hand.
Well, if everyone's excited about this, let me take a look.
Just, uh, connecting to Bluetooth.
Uh, sir, you just Air Dropped me photos of a child's birthday party.
That's my grandson Robbie.
Boy, does he love licking the ground.
Ah, one of those days, huh? Little bit.
Something embarrassing happened in my personal life.
Toilet paper stuck to your shoe? Oh, no, worse.
Well, you also have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.
Ah, of course I do.
No, I just thought someone was romantically interested in me, and it turns out he just had too many lemons.
Ah, easy mistake to make.
No, he didn't think so.
He seemed pretty horrified by the idea.
Oh, that's absurd.
You have the grace of a long-distance runner and the passion of a short-distance runner.
Wow, thank you.
That means something.
Kenney, if I may say so, that man's a damn fool.
You are a catch and a half.
Here she comes.
Okay, we want to look sorry, but not unforgivable.
I can tell by the look on your faces that you're sorry.
And I forgive you.
- Nailed it.
- Uh-uh.
We feel bad that we may have led you down the wrong path with Jerry.
So, we brought you these gifts.
It's a bag of lemon-flavored protein bars from the gift shop.
They're terrible.
Thank you.
You two are manipulative monsters.
But something kind of good did come out of this.
I realized I have been wearing marriage glasses.
And I think it might be time for me to take them off.
Gentlemen, I'm ready.
Welcome to Carol's grand opening! Mom, no.
No, don't say that.
- Ever to anyone.
- Oh.
But I'm really happy you're ready to date.
I have to admit, it was nice to think that someone was interested for a minute, even if it was just Jerry, who is the last person on Earth I would ever want to be with.
Carol! Jerry.
What are you doing here? I feel like I should call security, but what if we just let this play out for a minute? Carol, I'm about to do something I should've done a long time ago.
I want to tell the whole world that I love you.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes! Oh, boy.
Carol, last night, I was caught off guard.
I've imagined that moment between us for so long, I panicked.
But the truth is I love you.
- Jerry, you don't mean that.
- I do.
I planted that lemon tree just for you.
Okay, that makes me nervous.
I have waited patiently since your divorce, but our time is now.
I didn't want to let another minute go by without telling you how I feel.
Okay, but just FYI, I would've been home in, like, 45 minutes.
Patient is a 30-year-old female with shortness of breath, a slight fever and a cough.
Urgent care gave me some antibiotics, but they only made me feel worse.
I'm so tired.
Honestly, it's hard to walk more than ten steps.
Plus, I can't get rid of this stupid cough.
It's so annoying.
Interns, what's your diagnosis? The weakness, fever and persistent cough all point to atypical pneumonia.
If you look at her chest ultrasound you can see the fluid in the lungs, indicating pneumonia.
So, I'll start her on stronger antibiotics and we can move on.
- I'd still like to take a listen.
- Oh.
If you're having trouble connecting your phone, you can use mine.
Well, no need.
But just a warning, if you put her on antibiotics for pneumonia, she'll die.
Maybe don't put me on the antibiotics.
She doesn't have pneumonia.
She has a pleural effusion.
And it's easy to misdiagnose.
The fluid you saw in the ultrasound isn't in her lungs.
It's behind her lungs.
And you can tell by listening to her heart.
Doctor, could you? You can hear it struggling to pump.
We need to start her on a diuretic immediately to relieve pressure from her lungs.
Okay, I'll write in the order.
Ocampo, you're gonna be just fine.
I'd prefer it if the gray-haired doctor did everything from now on.
Sir, you got all that from listening to her heart? - That is - Badass! Forgive me, sir.
Technology is great, and I could stand to embrace it a bit more, but it's no substitute for clinical skill.
We do everything at such a high speed now that sometimes we don't take the extra time to really listen.
You're absolutely right, Dr.
Thank you for the reminder.
You're welcome.
Now, I know I look impressive right now and I hate to admit this, but somehow I've managed to lock myself out of my phone.
Can you believe they only give you eight guesses? Hey, how did Jerry take it? You let him down easy? I thought so, but then last night he chopped down the lemon tree.
So maybe it's for the best.
Mm, yeah.
Hey, Jerry wasn't the right guy for you.
That just means someone else will be.
Someone without halitosis.
You're right.
From now on, I'm gonna be open to seeing romantic possibility - wherever it may present itself.
- Mm-hmm.
Kenney, just the person I wanted to see.
I have a gift for you.
A gift? Yes, a very special gift, just for you.
A reflex hammer.
Wow, I don't know what to say.
It's so thoughtful, Dr.
I'm-I'm flattered.
And, Dr.
Gilani, I also have something very special for you.
Oh, sweet! A reflex hammer! I've always wanted one of these.
It's always just a minute too late.
All right, drain snaked.
gross level: high.
I could build you a man with the hair that was lodged in there.
- We done now? - No.
Your terrible advice cost me my handy neighbor, so you're gonna be making this up to me for a long time.
What's next? Um, the knob on the bannister is loose.
Oh, and after that, can you go outside and tackle the gutters? Mm, you got that, Jake? Yeah, bannisters, gutters.
Right away.
He's a good man.
You two are terrible.
But very fun.
Now - let's prank-call Caleb again.
- Ooh, yeah.

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