Celebrity Juice (2008) s14e03 Episode Script
Ultimate #ThrowBackThursday Special - Verne Troyer, Dean Gaffney, Tulisa Contostavlos, Chris Moyles
1 Holly, can you believe it is seven years since we did our very first Celebrity Juice? I can believe it because you said that at the end of last week's show.
(LAUGHTER) I did.
That's all right.
I can't believe that I was 25 and you had no kids, you never pissed on the fox and - That is - And Fearne used to be a guy?! Oh no.
No.
It is not true.
It is true.
It is true.
No, it's not.
It is true.
And it is special to me.
I will tell you what I think we should do.
We should celebrate this moment and maybe you blog me off the desk, teabag my balls and maybe I will even let you poke my arsehole.
Hold it.
Here is another suggestion.
We could just roll the old titles.
Yes, that's a good idea.
Yes.
Yes.
BOTH: Run titles! I used to be a simple businessman.
And in one day I came up with a simple idea.
When I say simple, I don't mean I am thick.
I thought I would invite thingumyjig and Holly Watsit.
Put them in a celebrity panel show with me Keith Lemon.
What is this programme? It is Celebrity Juice.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yeah.
Yeah Ooraaarrgh! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome to the ultimate Throwback Thursday Celebrity Juice special.
OK, let's meet our team captains.
I could never do this without her.
It is none other than Holly Willoughbooby.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Thank you.
Wow (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Do you know, that is one of the nicest things you ever said to me.
It is.
I actually quite like you now.
(LAUGHTER) If you got crazy drunk, would you let me lick your arsehole? (LAUGHTER) Probably not.
OK, maybe if you got crazy drunk could I think your front arsehole? (LAUGHTER) For seven years the answer has and will always be no.
AUDIENCE: Aahhhhh Let him lick your front arsehole.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Who is on your team? On my right is the legend who has just returned to EastEnders.
It is the one and only Dean Gaffney! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my left he is Hollywood royalty.
It is Verne Troyer.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, Motherfucker! What is going down? What's up, Wankor? (LAUGHTER) That is American for wanker.
OK, let us meet our other team captain.
Again, as much love as I have for Holly, I have equal love for this woman.
She is back after having a baby.
We could not do it with out.
It is Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) This is stupid.
Fearne, how are you? I am not Fearne.
I am Gino D'Acampo.
This is stupid.
Go along with it, you dick face! I'm fine.
(LAUGHTER) Fearne, your nostrils look massive.
They have always been.
(LAUGHTER) She would give me loads of shit.
Yes, er You ginger (BLEEP).
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) ALL: Gino, Gino! Let us see how Gino looked compared to Fearne in the first show.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Let us see how Holly has changed.
(WOLF WHISTLE) She has just got more fake tan on.
I look young.
Front doors and backdoors! (LAUGHTER) Let's have a look at me.
This is the biggest change.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It is your hair.
Who is on your team? On my left it is my favourite DJ ever (LAUGHTER) I am glad he is back.
I really missed him.
It is Chris Moyles.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello.
Chris, he is trying to be nice.
That is very nice.
I have realised tonight is the night I can actually font color (LAUGHTER) I am all yours.
On my right is the female boss.
Would I? Yes, I would fuck It is Tulisa! (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Who would not, who wouldn't? Brab, brab You motherfucker, what is going down? You know that ting It is Tulisa! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I have no idea what you are talking about.
Brat, brat, brat, brat (LAUGHTER) (GUNSHOTS) (LAUGHTER) (RAPID FIRE) Go on, have a go.
Just the one.
Go on, have a go.
I might get away with it.
Ready? (LAUGHTER) Tulisa, long time no see? Long time.
How is it going? Good, how are you? Yeah, I am good, yeah.
GUNSHO What did that come out of? (LAUGHTER) (RAPID GUNFIRE) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It is like I am shagging a metal shed.
Can I just say you look fitter than ever? You do.
You look really well.
Thanks.
Let us have a look at you seven years ago.
Look at that.
WHISTLE Back then you had teeth like Sugar puffs.
Now you have a lovely set.
(LAUGHTER) Joys of veneers! (LAUGHTER) What judges' houses are you going to? (LAUGHTER) This is where you try and get a quote out of me.
You do judge's houses.
Are you not going into any houses this year? Are you doing it? I am doing it.
Are you? Yeah, I am.
I am going in Nick Grimshaw's flat in Balham.
(LAUGHTER) He is a saviour of breakfast radio.
It is Chris Moyles! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Moyles! You lazy bastard.
Where have you been? I had a little break.
A little break? For three years.
I thought you were dead! (LAUGHTER) What made you decide to come back? I have no money left.
(LAUGHTER) You are on Radio Cross? What? Radio Cross? Radio X.
(LAUGHTER) Is it like late-night? Is it X-rated like Babestation? It is not triple X.
It is just one X.
One X.
One X.
You have proper changed.
I know.
Yes.
But so have you.
Look at you seven years ago.
Oh, don't.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That ain't me! Look at that.
He's like two Chris Moyles! That is not me.
Can you please stop fucking showing that? (LAUGHTER) I am not busting my balls on a treadmill and dieting for three years for you to - Get off the screen.
Get it off the screen.
Get it off the screen! Get it off the screen! (LAUGHTER) I can't believe this show has lasted seven years.
(LAUGHTER) Here is to the next seven! He is back in EastEnders.
He's back in our lives.
It is Dean Gaffney! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) The man, the myth, the legend.
We have been trying to book you for 5 years.
Is that correct? Let us get something straight.
I had a phone call from my agent.
I was buzzing.
I got the call.
The phone has not rung for a few years.
You sound like Joe Swash! (LAUGHTER) (IMITATES JOE) Look, Celebrity Juice wants you to be on.
I was buzzing.
I was screaming the house down.
He said there is a but.
They just want you to put your head through the magazine.
It is for 3.
2 seconds of airtime.
(LAUGHTER) I said, "Up yours!" And fuck off! (LAUGHTER) I am grateful that you are having me back.
I think we have got the actual email from our celebrity booker.
(LAUGHTER) This is what it actually said.
He said: "If my career ever gets to the point when I would need to stick my head through your magazine for 3 seconds of fame, I would rather kill myself.
" (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well, Dean, we don't do the magazine any more.
Thanks.
But it is nice that you are here on the panel.
You are back in EastEnders and it is all good, isn't it? It is amazing.
Is it hard working with a dog? No, I have worked with a few in my time.
(LAUGHTER) So have I.
A big shout to Cotton.
I hope she's well.
(LAUGHTER) Holly, would you be in EastEnders? Yes.
Do you think you are a bit posh? (IMITATES HOLLY) (LAUGHTER) I am a bit posh sometimes.
Could you do like EastEnders talk? Go on, say something.
All right You have gone out with Robbie.
He has cheated on you.
What do you want to say to him? Oh, Robbie, wot you gawn and dun? (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well done.
All the way from the USA.
It is Verne Troyer.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Word? To your mother? (LAUGHTER) How is it going? Good.
Have you got any new movies coming out? I've got a film that just came out.
It is low-budget.
But it did turn out great.
I play a Texas cowboy.
I am named Dwight.
(LAUGHTER) Is it in 3-D? (LAUGHTER) No.
I am not watching it then.
(LAUGHTER) We have got a picture.
Have you? (LAUGHTER) No, no.
Come on.
Do you know what, I don't need this.
Yes, you do.
You fucking do! (LAUGHTER) I do.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You do.
Come on.
OK, as it is Throwback Thursday and after seven years of Celebrity Juice we have been asking people on Twitter to suggest games from the past.
I have some tweets.
That is from Darren.
That is what we are going to play.
Let us play it.
Yes.
So, you will see on-screen a graphic of me in different sectors or if you are American like Verne, Sectors Sectors.
(LAUGHTER) Choose a sector.
Ah, I miss you doing that.
You have chosen VT.
This is for both teams.
I will play you a VT.
I want you to tell me what the story is.
Here it is.
Ooh, don't scrape it.
Oh Aww you little pig.
Whoar I did it with that little pig.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Er This is for both teams.
What is the story there? Can I just say something before this is our final show and we are actually taken off air, what he is alleged to have done was not actually shag a pig in the face.
I did exaggerate it.
That was obvious.
That was just for comedic value.
Wowee.
I cannot ever take that image from my head.
(LAUGHTER) What is the story? Our Prime Minister David Cameron, whilst he was at Oxford at a party, he put his cock in a pig's mouth.
Ohh! I thought you would at least say the science word.
Penis.
Penis.
That is alleged.
For legal reasons I need to read out this disclaimer (NEWS AT TEN BONGS) (LAUGHTER) "Whilst I was simulating sexual relations with a dead pig's head, it is actually only claimed that David Cameron put a private part of his anatomy into the mouth.
Conservative party sources have dismissed it as nonsense.
There are claims the book is motivated by revenge.
" Hmm.
Too true.
(NEWS AT TEN BONGS) And that is the news.
And the scores at the end of that round are (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) One of the games suggested on Twitter was Spot the Golden Potato.
Let us play Spot the Golden Potato.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) This is an observational round.
The lights will go out and something in the studio will change.
You get a five point bonus if you can spot the golden potato.
Here is the golden potato.
This is what it looks like.
It is there! Five points if you can spot it.
Holly, you will be changing the studio whilst the lights are out, OK? Got it.
OK, when I say now let us have the lights down.
As soon as I say now.
When I say now.
When I say Not now.
When I say The lights go down, when I say Not when When I say No.
I am going to say I am going to say: Let us have the lights down.
That is when they go no.
This is like fucking panto.
I am going to say bum.
That is when it goes down.
That is when the lights go out.
(LAUGHTER) Bum.
(LAUGHTER) Right, Holly, your team change the studio whilst the lights are down.
OK.
Gino, you have to spot the changes and look out for the golden potato for 5 points.
OK, Gino, your team, the time starts when the lights go up.
(HOLLY SIGHS) OK, Gino, can you spot any changes? (LAUGHTER) Bangla tidy.
(LAUGHTER) Verne is wearing an Afro wig.
That is actually Holly's bush! (LAUGHTER) # Easy as one, two, three.
(LAUGHTER) Dean Gaffney's eyes are protruding.
Right, there are some bottles of booze in front of Holly.
That is correct.
She is such a bloody pisshead.
(LAUGHTER) There is bread on the studio floor.
That is actually June Sapong's slices of bread on the floor.
How many have we got? We have got four.
You have got four.
We have got to find the potato.
Where is the potato? (LAUGHTER) Right.
Have they hidden it? Is the potato under the bread? You have found Uncle Mick.
Where is the potato? Is that the potato? It is in there.
(LAUGHTER) That potato is veiny.
(LAUGHTER) That is not a potato.
That is not a potato.
Jesus Christ! (BUZZER) Oh, that is the klaxon.
The ones you have missed - Caught On Camera Keith.
You did not get that.
(BUZZER) Oh well.
You also did not get Indian Keith! Oh no (LAUGHTER) You are fucking idiots.
(LAUGHTER) And you did not get the Golden Potato.
No, where was it? It was so easy.
It was so easy.
Roll the VT.
You have been a wonderful guest.
Please thank the Golden Potato.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It was on Loose Women.
You fucking morons.
(LAUGHTER) Well done to Fearne's team.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You fuck off.
And the scores are No, I do this.
I do the scores.
I do the scores.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Indian Keith! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Right.
What is he doing? What are you doing? It is time for a break now I do going to the ad break.
It is time for a break now.
I am going for a wee.
I will see you in three.
We will be back in a bit.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Coming up (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hoorah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back to Throwback Thursday.
It has been seven years of Celebrity Juice.
Are you having a good time? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Are you having a good time? Yes.
We have even got cake to celebrate.
Look at this.
Come on.
Actually come over? Yes, come over.
I will come over.
Whoops.
(LAUGHTER) Look at this.
Is it a cake? Let us have a look.
Is that a plastic knife? I don't know how you Such a cake.
Seven years.
Look at that.
Is it a cupcake? Is it a chocolate cake? Seven years gone.
You still can't afford a bloody knife.
You are still on ITV2! (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) What? Oh It is great cake.
Mrs Doubtfire, sit down.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Enjoy the cake.
People on Twitter suggest rounds from the past.
Do you remember the Cover Story Round? The one withrrrr Used to be like a magazine.
It was Grazia Closer.
Now, opposite and adjacent to me is a massive Gape Magazine.
I will ask you to choose a category and then I will ask you a question.
that will be on the category you choose.
And first up is Holly and her team.
We are going to choose.
I think we should go for Scene But Not Heard.
This Is Where the Chuckle Brothers Would Pop out.
What You Doing? You would not believe it.
There is no one in there.
What will we do? Who could say Scene but not heard.
Can you help us out? Fuck it, and why not.
Pick a category.
We are going to go for Scene but not heard If I ever get to the point where I have to do stick my head through your magazine for three seconds of fame I would rather kill myself.
It is time to play the game.
I am not running about like a dickhead.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome to the Scene but not heard theatre.
First up this team.
We will go on the klaxon.
KLAXON Is it the Human Centipede? Tell me when.
Now.
(LAUGHTER) It's called acting! It is the new Jurassic.
It is called Jurassic World.
Shall I hit you again? Is this 50 Shades of Grey? Yes.
(LAUGHTER) Wolf of Wall Street.
Holly, your team.
I do not know.
We're getting fucking tired here.
Gino, your team.
It is Hangover? Correct.
What is this? (LAUGHTER) We think it is Gravity.
That is correct.
(BUZZER) Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Verne Troyer.
The scores at the end of that round (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, the next game is sent in by Amy.
I love Get Your Coat, You've Pulled.
I will get onto the dancefloor.
The panel will come onto the dancefloor.
You have to guess who they are.
Let us get onto the dancefloor.
MUSIC FUNKY MUSIC (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) The first one Let us sit down.
Where are the bar staff? It is Gino's mum and dad.
It is my favourite.
Do you come here often? Not really, no.
Where are you from? I come from the North.
We are going to have another advert break.
Coming up on Celebrity Juice: (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back.
It is ultimate Throwback Thursday Celebrity Juice Special.
Where are you from? I come from the North.
I go on holiday in Spain.
I go to Benidorm.
Johnny Vegas!/f I am so excited to be here.
They have a lot of sugar in them.
I don't like sugar.
Oh.
Wow Listen, look.
Look.
You have gone grey.
Pork scratching? I don't mind those.
I have just noticed.
Listen (LAUGHTER) You have some grey hair.
I notice.
I am just enjoying it.
That is my line.
No, that is my line.
It is Davina.
Come on.
(GUNSHOTS) Are you me? He is me.
How are you going, sister? Oh, my God.
I have watched your show.
Let me try again.
Let me do it again.
It is Britney Spears.
Are you all right? Is that Holly's? Where are you from? I am from up north.
I do go to all of the cool places.
Yeah.
Yes, but they will be listening to Chris Moyles.
Is it Nick Grimshaw.
That is the end of the show tonight.
We could not finish without my favourite round.
It is a flippant round.
The scores are very close.
They are really close.
We have to decide a winner.
If we touch Not that piece of cardboard.
That piece of cardboard in the ass.
Run.
Run.
Run! (LAUGHTER) Oh, crab sticks.
It was stuck up there.
It would not come ou (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I can tell you that the winning team tonight is Holly's team.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I was Keith Lemon.
Thank you for watching for seven years.
# You don't have to take your clothes off We could dance all night, all night.
(LAUGHTER) I did.
That's all right.
I can't believe that I was 25 and you had no kids, you never pissed on the fox and - That is - And Fearne used to be a guy?! Oh no.
No.
It is not true.
It is true.
It is true.
No, it's not.
It is true.
And it is special to me.
I will tell you what I think we should do.
We should celebrate this moment and maybe you blog me off the desk, teabag my balls and maybe I will even let you poke my arsehole.
Hold it.
Here is another suggestion.
We could just roll the old titles.
Yes, that's a good idea.
Yes.
Yes.
BOTH: Run titles! I used to be a simple businessman.
And in one day I came up with a simple idea.
When I say simple, I don't mean I am thick.
I thought I would invite thingumyjig and Holly Watsit.
Put them in a celebrity panel show with me Keith Lemon.
What is this programme? It is Celebrity Juice.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Yeah.
Yeah Ooraaarrgh! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome to the ultimate Throwback Thursday Celebrity Juice special.
OK, let's meet our team captains.
I could never do this without her.
It is none other than Holly Willoughbooby.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Thank you.
Wow (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Do you know, that is one of the nicest things you ever said to me.
It is.
I actually quite like you now.
(LAUGHTER) If you got crazy drunk, would you let me lick your arsehole? (LAUGHTER) Probably not.
OK, maybe if you got crazy drunk could I think your front arsehole? (LAUGHTER) For seven years the answer has and will always be no.
AUDIENCE: Aahhhhh Let him lick your front arsehole.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Who is on your team? On my right is the legend who has just returned to EastEnders.
It is the one and only Dean Gaffney! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) And on my left he is Hollywood royalty.
It is Verne Troyer.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, Motherfucker! What is going down? What's up, Wankor? (LAUGHTER) That is American for wanker.
OK, let us meet our other team captain.
Again, as much love as I have for Holly, I have equal love for this woman.
She is back after having a baby.
We could not do it with out.
It is Fearne Cotton.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) This is stupid.
Fearne, how are you? I am not Fearne.
I am Gino D'Acampo.
This is stupid.
Go along with it, you dick face! I'm fine.
(LAUGHTER) Fearne, your nostrils look massive.
They have always been.
(LAUGHTER) She would give me loads of shit.
Yes, er You ginger (BLEEP).
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) ALL: Gino, Gino! Let us see how Gino looked compared to Fearne in the first show.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Let us see how Holly has changed.
(WOLF WHISTLE) She has just got more fake tan on.
I look young.
Front doors and backdoors! (LAUGHTER) Let's have a look at me.
This is the biggest change.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It is your hair.
Who is on your team? On my left it is my favourite DJ ever (LAUGHTER) I am glad he is back.
I really missed him.
It is Chris Moyles.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hello.
Chris, he is trying to be nice.
That is very nice.
I have realised tonight is the night I can actually font color (LAUGHTER) I am all yours.
On my right is the female boss.
Would I? Yes, I would fuck It is Tulisa! (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Who would not, who wouldn't? Brab, brab You motherfucker, what is going down? You know that ting It is Tulisa! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I have no idea what you are talking about.
Brat, brat, brat, brat (LAUGHTER) (GUNSHOTS) (LAUGHTER) (RAPID FIRE) Go on, have a go.
Just the one.
Go on, have a go.
I might get away with it.
Ready? (LAUGHTER) Tulisa, long time no see? Long time.
How is it going? Good, how are you? Yeah, I am good, yeah.
GUNSHO What did that come out of? (LAUGHTER) (RAPID GUNFIRE) (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It is like I am shagging a metal shed.
Can I just say you look fitter than ever? You do.
You look really well.
Thanks.
Let us have a look at you seven years ago.
Look at that.
WHISTLE Back then you had teeth like Sugar puffs.
Now you have a lovely set.
(LAUGHTER) Joys of veneers! (LAUGHTER) What judges' houses are you going to? (LAUGHTER) This is where you try and get a quote out of me.
You do judge's houses.
Are you not going into any houses this year? Are you doing it? I am doing it.
Are you? Yeah, I am.
I am going in Nick Grimshaw's flat in Balham.
(LAUGHTER) He is a saviour of breakfast radio.
It is Chris Moyles! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Moyles! You lazy bastard.
Where have you been? I had a little break.
A little break? For three years.
I thought you were dead! (LAUGHTER) What made you decide to come back? I have no money left.
(LAUGHTER) You are on Radio Cross? What? Radio Cross? Radio X.
(LAUGHTER) Is it like late-night? Is it X-rated like Babestation? It is not triple X.
It is just one X.
One X.
One X.
You have proper changed.
I know.
Yes.
But so have you.
Look at you seven years ago.
Oh, don't.
(LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) That ain't me! Look at that.
He's like two Chris Moyles! That is not me.
Can you please stop fucking showing that? (LAUGHTER) I am not busting my balls on a treadmill and dieting for three years for you to - Get off the screen.
Get it off the screen.
Get it off the screen! Get it off the screen! (LAUGHTER) I can't believe this show has lasted seven years.
(LAUGHTER) Here is to the next seven! He is back in EastEnders.
He's back in our lives.
It is Dean Gaffney! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) The man, the myth, the legend.
We have been trying to book you for 5 years.
Is that correct? Let us get something straight.
I had a phone call from my agent.
I was buzzing.
I got the call.
The phone has not rung for a few years.
You sound like Joe Swash! (LAUGHTER) (IMITATES JOE) Look, Celebrity Juice wants you to be on.
I was buzzing.
I was screaming the house down.
He said there is a but.
They just want you to put your head through the magazine.
It is for 3.
2 seconds of airtime.
(LAUGHTER) I said, "Up yours!" And fuck off! (LAUGHTER) I am grateful that you are having me back.
I think we have got the actual email from our celebrity booker.
(LAUGHTER) This is what it actually said.
He said: "If my career ever gets to the point when I would need to stick my head through your magazine for 3 seconds of fame, I would rather kill myself.
" (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well, Dean, we don't do the magazine any more.
Thanks.
But it is nice that you are here on the panel.
You are back in EastEnders and it is all good, isn't it? It is amazing.
Is it hard working with a dog? No, I have worked with a few in my time.
(LAUGHTER) So have I.
A big shout to Cotton.
I hope she's well.
(LAUGHTER) Holly, would you be in EastEnders? Yes.
Do you think you are a bit posh? (IMITATES HOLLY) (LAUGHTER) I am a bit posh sometimes.
Could you do like EastEnders talk? Go on, say something.
All right You have gone out with Robbie.
He has cheated on you.
What do you want to say to him? Oh, Robbie, wot you gawn and dun? (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Well done.
All the way from the USA.
It is Verne Troyer.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Word? To your mother? (LAUGHTER) How is it going? Good.
Have you got any new movies coming out? I've got a film that just came out.
It is low-budget.
But it did turn out great.
I play a Texas cowboy.
I am named Dwight.
(LAUGHTER) Is it in 3-D? (LAUGHTER) No.
I am not watching it then.
(LAUGHTER) We have got a picture.
Have you? (LAUGHTER) No, no.
Come on.
Do you know what, I don't need this.
Yes, you do.
You fucking do! (LAUGHTER) I do.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You do.
Come on.
OK, as it is Throwback Thursday and after seven years of Celebrity Juice we have been asking people on Twitter to suggest games from the past.
I have some tweets.
That is from Darren.
That is what we are going to play.
Let us play it.
Yes.
So, you will see on-screen a graphic of me in different sectors or if you are American like Verne, Sectors Sectors.
(LAUGHTER) Choose a sector.
Ah, I miss you doing that.
You have chosen VT.
This is for both teams.
I will play you a VT.
I want you to tell me what the story is.
Here it is.
Ooh, don't scrape it.
Oh Aww you little pig.
Whoar I did it with that little pig.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Er This is for both teams.
What is the story there? Can I just say something before this is our final show and we are actually taken off air, what he is alleged to have done was not actually shag a pig in the face.
I did exaggerate it.
That was obvious.
That was just for comedic value.
Wowee.
I cannot ever take that image from my head.
(LAUGHTER) What is the story? Our Prime Minister David Cameron, whilst he was at Oxford at a party, he put his cock in a pig's mouth.
Ohh! I thought you would at least say the science word.
Penis.
Penis.
That is alleged.
For legal reasons I need to read out this disclaimer (NEWS AT TEN BONGS) (LAUGHTER) "Whilst I was simulating sexual relations with a dead pig's head, it is actually only claimed that David Cameron put a private part of his anatomy into the mouth.
Conservative party sources have dismissed it as nonsense.
There are claims the book is motivated by revenge.
" Hmm.
Too true.
(NEWS AT TEN BONGS) And that is the news.
And the scores at the end of that round are (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) One of the games suggested on Twitter was Spot the Golden Potato.
Let us play Spot the Golden Potato.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) This is an observational round.
The lights will go out and something in the studio will change.
You get a five point bonus if you can spot the golden potato.
Here is the golden potato.
This is what it looks like.
It is there! Five points if you can spot it.
Holly, you will be changing the studio whilst the lights are out, OK? Got it.
OK, when I say now let us have the lights down.
As soon as I say now.
When I say now.
When I say Not now.
When I say The lights go down, when I say Not when When I say No.
I am going to say I am going to say: Let us have the lights down.
That is when they go no.
This is like fucking panto.
I am going to say bum.
That is when it goes down.
That is when the lights go out.
(LAUGHTER) Bum.
(LAUGHTER) Right, Holly, your team change the studio whilst the lights are down.
OK.
Gino, you have to spot the changes and look out for the golden potato for 5 points.
OK, Gino, your team, the time starts when the lights go up.
(HOLLY SIGHS) OK, Gino, can you spot any changes? (LAUGHTER) Bangla tidy.
(LAUGHTER) Verne is wearing an Afro wig.
That is actually Holly's bush! (LAUGHTER) # Easy as one, two, three.
(LAUGHTER) Dean Gaffney's eyes are protruding.
Right, there are some bottles of booze in front of Holly.
That is correct.
She is such a bloody pisshead.
(LAUGHTER) There is bread on the studio floor.
That is actually June Sapong's slices of bread on the floor.
How many have we got? We have got four.
You have got four.
We have got to find the potato.
Where is the potato? (LAUGHTER) Right.
Have they hidden it? Is the potato under the bread? You have found Uncle Mick.
Where is the potato? Is that the potato? It is in there.
(LAUGHTER) That potato is veiny.
(LAUGHTER) That is not a potato.
That is not a potato.
Jesus Christ! (BUZZER) Oh, that is the klaxon.
The ones you have missed - Caught On Camera Keith.
You did not get that.
(BUZZER) Oh well.
You also did not get Indian Keith! Oh no (LAUGHTER) You are fucking idiots.
(LAUGHTER) And you did not get the Golden Potato.
No, where was it? It was so easy.
It was so easy.
Roll the VT.
You have been a wonderful guest.
Please thank the Golden Potato.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It was on Loose Women.
You fucking morons.
(LAUGHTER) Well done to Fearne's team.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) You fuck off.
And the scores are No, I do this.
I do the scores.
I do the scores.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Indian Keith! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Right.
What is he doing? What are you doing? It is time for a break now I do going to the ad break.
It is time for a break now.
I am going for a wee.
I will see you in three.
We will be back in a bit.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Coming up (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Hoorah! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back to Throwback Thursday.
It has been seven years of Celebrity Juice.
Are you having a good time? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Are you having a good time? Yes.
We have even got cake to celebrate.
Look at this.
Come on.
Actually come over? Yes, come over.
I will come over.
Whoops.
(LAUGHTER) Look at this.
Is it a cake? Let us have a look.
Is that a plastic knife? I don't know how you Such a cake.
Seven years.
Look at that.
Is it a cupcake? Is it a chocolate cake? Seven years gone.
You still can't afford a bloody knife.
You are still on ITV2! (LAUGHTER) (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) What? Oh It is great cake.
Mrs Doubtfire, sit down.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Enjoy the cake.
People on Twitter suggest rounds from the past.
Do you remember the Cover Story Round? The one withrrrr Used to be like a magazine.
It was Grazia Closer.
Now, opposite and adjacent to me is a massive Gape Magazine.
I will ask you to choose a category and then I will ask you a question.
that will be on the category you choose.
And first up is Holly and her team.
We are going to choose.
I think we should go for Scene But Not Heard.
This Is Where the Chuckle Brothers Would Pop out.
What You Doing? You would not believe it.
There is no one in there.
What will we do? Who could say Scene but not heard.
Can you help us out? Fuck it, and why not.
Pick a category.
We are going to go for Scene but not heard If I ever get to the point where I have to do stick my head through your magazine for three seconds of fame I would rather kill myself.
It is time to play the game.
I am not running about like a dickhead.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome to the Scene but not heard theatre.
First up this team.
We will go on the klaxon.
KLAXON Is it the Human Centipede? Tell me when.
Now.
(LAUGHTER) It's called acting! It is the new Jurassic.
It is called Jurassic World.
Shall I hit you again? Is this 50 Shades of Grey? Yes.
(LAUGHTER) Wolf of Wall Street.
Holly, your team.
I do not know.
We're getting fucking tired here.
Gino, your team.
It is Hangover? Correct.
What is this? (LAUGHTER) We think it is Gravity.
That is correct.
(BUZZER) Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Verne Troyer.
The scores at the end of that round (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) OK, the next game is sent in by Amy.
I love Get Your Coat, You've Pulled.
I will get onto the dancefloor.
The panel will come onto the dancefloor.
You have to guess who they are.
Let us get onto the dancefloor.
MUSIC FUNKY MUSIC (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) The first one Let us sit down.
Where are the bar staff? It is Gino's mum and dad.
It is my favourite.
Do you come here often? Not really, no.
Where are you from? I come from the North.
We are going to have another advert break.
Coming up on Celebrity Juice: (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Welcome back.
It is ultimate Throwback Thursday Celebrity Juice Special.
Where are you from? I come from the North.
I go on holiday in Spain.
I go to Benidorm.
Johnny Vegas!/f I am so excited to be here.
They have a lot of sugar in them.
I don't like sugar.
Oh.
Wow Listen, look.
Look.
You have gone grey.
Pork scratching? I don't mind those.
I have just noticed.
Listen (LAUGHTER) You have some grey hair.
I notice.
I am just enjoying it.
That is my line.
No, that is my line.
It is Davina.
Come on.
(GUNSHOTS) Are you me? He is me.
How are you going, sister? Oh, my God.
I have watched your show.
Let me try again.
Let me do it again.
It is Britney Spears.
Are you all right? Is that Holly's? Where are you from? I am from up north.
I do go to all of the cool places.
Yeah.
Yes, but they will be listening to Chris Moyles.
Is it Nick Grimshaw.
That is the end of the show tonight.
We could not finish without my favourite round.
It is a flippant round.
The scores are very close.
They are really close.
We have to decide a winner.
If we touch Not that piece of cardboard.
That piece of cardboard in the ass.
Run.
Run.
Run! (LAUGHTER) Oh, crab sticks.
It was stuck up there.
It would not come ou (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I can tell you that the winning team tonight is Holly's team.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I was Keith Lemon.
Thank you for watching for seven years.
# You don't have to take your clothes off We could dance all night, all night.