Charmed s01e11 Episode Script

Feats of Clay

- Told you.
Piece of cake.
- Let's just do this and get out of here.
Relax, Clay.
I told you no one's home.
The owner's dead.
Stay here.
Keep watch.
We'll get the urn.
- Clay doesn't know, does he? - Why spook him? He'd believe it was the curse that killed the old man.
He was stung to death by a scorpion, Wesley, in the bathroom of an aeroplane.
- Don't tell me you believe in that crap.
- You think I'd be here if I did? Is that it? That's it.
- You see any scorpions around? - No, just dollar signs.
- Let's go.
- Hey, there's a car coming.
- You guys must've tripped an alarm.
- Let's get out of here.
I should've never let you guys talk me into this.
Shut up.
We'll split up and meet in San Francisco.
Take this to your friend and hock it right away.
And don't you think about ripping us off, because I'll find you.
What? What? What are you? - I'm The Guardian of the urn.
- The what? Hey, what are you doing? You're being punished for your greed.
As for your friends - New York Clay? That Clay? - That's the one.
You said you never wanted to see him again.
- Ancient history.
- Six months? Five.
He's just stopping by on his way home.
It's not a big deal.
He was travelling or something.
- Who's Clay? - Nobody.
Her ex-boyfriend.
The musician.
She met him when she was working at the Rainbow Room.
You remember.
No, I don't.
Nobody told me.
They hired you at the Rainbow Room? Yeah, she was a hostess until she started working at the Chelsea Pier.
Okay, can we talk about this later please? A lot later.
We're just friends.
That's all, you know.
- Do I have lipstick on my teeth? - Yes.
That was mean.
- That was not mean.
- Okay.
Phoebe.
Clay.
It's really good to see you.
You okay? What else don't I know? Prue, don't take this personally, but sometimes you can be judgmental.
Oh, that is so not true.
All right, so maybe it's sometimes true.
I just don't understand why Phoebe never even told me about this guy.
People don't like to dwell on things that end badly.
Yeah, well, I wish my relationships ended that badly.
Did you hear them last night? There was music, - there was wine, there was - Talking.
And how do you know there was wine? Okay, so I peeked.
Well, you know, if nobody tells me anything, I have to get creative.
Stop worrying.
She'll be fine.
She knows what she's doing.
Watch that entrance, make sure nobody comes in.
- Whoa, Doug.
Easy.
- Thanks, Piper.
I hope Shelly didn't see that.
Don't worry about it, Doug.
You just hang in there.
- What was that? - What? That.
You know, the guy, the glass.
Do you do that often? Freeze time in front of, I don't know, let's say, everybody? Yeah.
I'm finally getting some control over the unfreezing.
The poor guy, he just keeps dropping everything.
- Then maybe you should just fire him.
- The owner wants me to.
Actually, he threatened to fire me if I don't.
But he's going through a hard time.
Shelly, the waitress, just dumped him - after six years of dating.
- So, what? You're playing cupid - at the risk of your own job? - Yeah.
I mean, Doug loves her.
He even bought an engagement ring and everything.
He just waited too long to ask.
So now he's a wreck.
Still, you can't just keep, you know, freezing in order to protect him.
I know.
So are you still going back to Buckland's? Yeah, that's where I work.
I just figured after everything that happened with Rex and Hannah that you would be hitting the classifieds.
Well, if we don't save the auction house, I might have to.
Rex Bankrupt.
What were you saying? Never mind.
Gotta go.
I wish you could've been there, Phoebe.
You would've loved Egypt.
Pyramids, giant sphinx, Nile river, camel taxis.
- It was amazing.
- You rode a camel? They're friendlier than some of the cab drivers I've met.
Can't imagine they're faster.
You were right to leave me.
Oh, and the conversation turns.
No, I'm serious.
You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I blew it.
I know that.
Clay - What? Too much too soon? - Yup.
Look, I hope you don't take this the wrong way.
But why are you here with me now? What? Can't a guy visit? Yeah, but you're not just a guy.
You're Clay, and Clay comes with strings attached.
I never could hide anything from you.
Actually, you could.
That was one of our problems, remember? I picked up this urn at an overseas market.
Thought it might be worth something.
So you want me to get Prue to help you because of the auction house.
Guilty.
For a minute there, I thought you were here to win me back.
No, Phoebe.
I think too much for you to still believe you're interested.
Look, it's no secret.
I've been in some trouble.
I've gotten in too deep.
I thought if I could sell this urn, make some money, pay off a debt, I can make a fresh start.
Hey, think about it.
Please, Phoebe.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
You must be Prue.
- And you must be - Claire.
Claire Pryce.
The bank assigned me to see if the business is worth salvaging.
I'm looking for inventory records.
The files in my predecessor's office were empty.
Yes, well, Rex and Hannah weren't exactly qualified.
Obviously why Buckland's is in such dire straits.
To be honest with you, Prue, I don't know anything about auction houses, and I know even less about art.
But what I do know is the bottom line.
If we don't move $1.
2 million worth of inventory at the auction tomorrow, I'm shutting the place down.
- Excuse me, did you say "tomorrow"? - Did I stutter? With all due respect, you don't just decide to throw an auction, okay? You need advance notice, a catalogue, buyers.
Then it looks like you've got a lot of work ahead of you, doesn't it? Sorry.
Who was that? The new sheriff.
- Hey, Prue.
- Hey, Clay.
What's up? A favour.
Clay was hoping that maybe you could sell this for him.
Yeah, I picked it up at a market overseas.
Picked it up? Does that mean you bought it? What else could it mean? Well, it's really beautiful.
Gold inlay, 24 carat, a lot of lapis, looks to be from Egypt.
Exactly.
That's where I was travelling.
- These etchings are very unusual.
- You think it's worth something? Well, I would have to determine the urn's origins, its previous owners - Couldn't you just skip a step or two? - Phoebe, I cannot risk this auction house's reputation on something like this without checking.
Come on, come on.
I will What will I do? I will cook you dinner.
Don't threaten me.
Fine, I'll see what I can do.
Hey, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Is she the best or what? Thank you, thank you.
I love you.
Thanks for doing that, Phoebe.
No problem.
Prue will get you a great price for it too.
She's really good at her job.
Well, it'd be nice if she just liked me a little bit.
She likes you.
She's just real protective of me, that's all.
- I remember when that was my job.
- Yeah, and then I quit you.
Hey, Clay.
Palmer.
- What are you doing here? - I'm bumping into you.
- Aren't you gonna introduce us? - Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Phoebe, this is Palmer.
I met him in Cairo.
- Hi.
Oh, wow.
Small world, huh? - Yeah.
- Hey, what's going on with that urn? - You know about the urn too? Well, actually that's where we met, at the marketplace where I bought it.
Yeah, right, the marketplace.
I thought you were gonna sell it? Phoebe's sister works at that auction house.
- She's looking for a buyer.
- That's good.
That's good.
The sooner the better, I guess, huh? - Hey, are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Thank you.
It's just I'm a little tired.
Jet lag, you know.
Are you staying at the Ashcroft like I suggested? Yeah, sure.
Good.
Me too.
Maybe we'll hook up later? - It was nice to meet you.
- Oh, yeah.
You too.
Creepy guy.
Yeah.
You hungry? - Help you? - I was a friend of Wesley's.
His family wanted me to make sure he got home all right.
Sorry.
How did he die? I don't know.
Spider bite, I think.
He's off to JFK, right? First flight in the morning.
Sorry, Wes.
What am I supposed to think, Piper? Phoebe's ex pops into town and wants me to sell something for him.
You think that's a coincidence? Oh, Prue, you wonder why you're out of the loop.
You worry too much about Phoebe.
No, I don't.
I just don't wanna see her get hurt, that's all.
Look, I just get this really bad feeling about Clay.
- I can't explain it.
- I can.
You don't think he's good enough for her.
Just like you didn't think Jeremy was good enough for me.
Of course, in his case, you were right.
But that's not my point.
No, your point is that it's none of my business, and you're probably right.
Speaking of playing matchmaker, how's Doug? The same, unfortunately.
Except I'm getting a little freeze frazzled.
It's draining.
Don't you think you need to find a better way to deal, before you get fired? I know.
I gotta go.
I gotta go.
Sorry, Doug.
Too pooped to pop.
I'm surprised you moved back here.
I remember a few late nights, a few beers, a few not-so-pleasant conversations about your sisters.
And here you are living together again.
Necessity or choice? I think a little bit of both.
Anyway, things have kind of picked up at the Halliwell Manor.
- Yeah? Like how? - Oh, well, let's just say San Francisco has been a lot more unusual than New York.
- More rice? - No, thanks.
You know, Phoebe, you really haven't said much about what you've been doing.
- Protecting the innocent from evil.
- Come on, be serious.
I mean, you barely had a spare minute in New York, three jobs just to afford your social calendar.
Things have changed.
I've changed.
I'm trying to change too.
One thing that won't change is how I feel about you.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have.
No, it's not that, believe me.
I It took me a long time to get over you.
And I just wanna be careful.
I understand.
But if I clean up my act would you consider moving back.
Do not go there now.
- Sorry to interrupt.
- It's okay.
It happens.
I should get back to the hotel anyway.
- Clay, stop.
I got it.
I got it.
- Okay.
- So how's it going with the urn? - It's going.
I think what he's trying to ask is, "Is it going, going, gone?" Well, I put it on the auction block.
Great.
That's great.
Thanks a lot.
I'm still waiting for the background check to come through on it so I can set a reserve price.
Okay, whatever you get for it is fine with me.
As long as it sells, right, and in a hurry? Well, from what I understand, if anyone can do that, it's you.
So I will call you tomorrow.
Maybe you can show me around the city, help me see where I left my heart.
Hey, I really appreciate it.
Thanks again.
Anything for Pheebs.
- See you later.
- Okay.
- What? - Nothing.
I can worry about my little sister, can't I? Don't ever stop.
Are you okay? Nothing to see here.
Move along.
- Welcome to London.
- What did you do? More like, who did you do it to? I put a charm on Doug, but I doubled the recipes.
Just something to boost his confidence so he can give love a shot and give me a break.
Go ahead, Prue.
Yell at her.
It's not for personal gain and it fits into the whole harm-none thing we have top live by.
Besides, Prue told me to do something.
- Did not.
- Yes, you did.
I just need Doug to stop dropping things so I can stop freezing things.
I'm just exhausted.
You know, maybe he and Shelly aren't meant to be together.
Not everybody's supposed to be.
Oh, that was real subtle, Prue.
Well, we'll never know unless Doug has the guts to pop the question.
All I'm doing is giving it to him.
It's just like The Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.
Well, it is.
Ladies and gentlemen, this exquisite bronze-plated carving dates back well over 120 years.
Surely, it's worth more than $2500 dollars.
Do I hear 26? 26? Mark, move the F.
Scott Fitzgerald pen to the next slot, all right? Our buyer, Mr Gordenson, is getting restless.
Go.
Twenty-six, going once.
- I think you should see this, Prue.
- What is it? It's the appraisal on the urn you requested.
The good news is it's worth a fortune.
- The bad news is - It's stolen.
Apparently.
No wonder the auction house is going under.
Selling stolen goods.
No, this is highly unusual and very embarrassing.
Yes, it is.
Yes.
Now 16? 16,000? - Oh, no.
- Sixteen thousand? Fifteen thousand going once, going twice.
Sold for 15,000.
Paddle number three.
Next item up, lot number 51, 5-1.
This beautiful 24-carat gold inlay urn from Egypt Obviously, there's been some mistake.
- Who are you? - You must be Prue, Phoebe's sister.
- Same question, who are you? - Me? I'm a friend of Clay's.
Why didn't you sell that urn? You're supposed to sell it.
- I think you'd better leave.
- No.
Don't you understand? - You have to sell it before the curse.
- Curse? What curse? The urn, it's cursed.
Never mind.
Forget it.
I'll get rid of it myself.
Oh, my God.
It is cursed.
Oh, no.
- What's going on? - The curse.
It's happening.
It's too late.
I gotta get out of here.
So do you believe in giving people second chances? Absolutely.
That's probably why I wanted to help out Doug so much.
Okay, well, Clay says he can change and I wanna believe him, but But you're afraid of getting hurt.
That's totally understandable.
So I keep my distance and then what? Hope that I'm wrong? Well, you could be.
That premonition of yours was definitely the future.
Yeah, but the problem is I keep thinking about the past.
When I moved to New York, I was so angry.
All right, I was scared.
And then I met Clay, and he helped me out a lot.
He was really good to me at a time in my life when nobody else was.
Sorry, you know what I mean.
I didn't mean it like that.
All right.
That's fine.
So why did you leave him? Well, he kept living beyond his means.
He never thought of the future.
Yeah, I know that sounds familiar.
Let's just say he took one too many shortcuts.
Got involved with some bad people, got in over his head, way over his head.
And finally I just couldn't take it anymore.
I had to leave.
And so now he's back, hoping to be the man you fell in love with originally.
Yeah.
So, what do I do? What if he's the one? Like you say Doug and Shelly are.
- Do I just walk away? - No, but We can't live together forever.
What do we expect, to be 60 years old and still be sharing clothes and a cat? Well, now that you put it that way, no.
I don't wanna live with you anymore.
Oh, boy.
I thought your charm was to boost his confidence not turn him into Tom Cruise.
Maybe I shouldn't have doubled the recipe.
Yeah.
Doug.
What's going on? Not sure, but whatever it is, I feel great.
Thanks, Doug.
Doug, what about Shelly? Who cares about Shelly when I got Thursday, Friday and Saturday all lined up and waiting? - I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
- I don't believe you will.
Off limits.
Well, your charm worked.
- You've turned Doug into - A monster.
I gotta go.
I told Clay I'd meet him over at the house.
Goodbye.
Leaving? - How'd you get here? - I came with your friend.
I waited for your fear to consume you.
Where's the urn? The Buckland Auction House.
I tried to get it back.
I was gonna return it, I swear.
I tired to make things right.
Please! Don't! I'm sorry.
No! No, no, no! You're being punished for your greed.
So the band goes on at 10:00, but if we get there before 9:00 - there's no cover.
You interested? - In anything that involves you.
Okay.
- Déjà - Vu.
I miss this.
The day-to-day of us.
Yeah.
Me too.
Okay, well, I'm gonna change now.
Okay.
Oh, you want me to leave.
That's kind of a loaded question, but yeah, - I think that would be best.
- Phoebe, we did live together.
- It's not like I haven't - Yeah, I know.
But things have changed.
Come here.
Sit down.
- Very different.
- Do they have to be? Well You know, when you Okay, stop.
Stop.
Okay, go.
Go.
What am I doing? What am I doing? Okay, you know this isn't fair because I love it when you Prue, you scared me.
- Where's Phoebe? - Upstairs.
But you might wanna knock.
Phoebe, we need to talk.
Yes, we do.
- You know you don't have to leave.
- Yeah, I think I should.
- I'll call you.
- Okay.
I hope you liked the show.
Phoebe, I'm so sorry.
I had no idea.
What, that it was my room that you barged into? I had more privacy when I lived in New York, a tiny island crawling with 8 million people.
And at least one thief.
I'm sorry, excuse me? My new boss handed this to me, thankfully just before the urn could be sold.
Clay didn't buy it at some outdoor bazaar, Phoebe.
- He stole it.
- This can't be right.
- It looks right, Pheebs.
- Seasons change.
People don't.
I changed.
Do you remember what you thought of me before I walked back through that door? - That's different.
- How is that different? You're my sister.
Well, there's gotta be some mistake.
It gets worse.
If the background information is accurate, there's a curse attached to the urn.
Anyone who steals it ends up dead, a victim of The Guardian who protects it.
And she feeds off their greed.
Okay, well, even if that's true, Clay could've never known about it.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have brought it here.
Are you sure, Pheebs? You wouldn't be the first Halliwell to misjudge a guy.
No, it's not about judging.
It's about knowing.
And I know Clay.
And I know what Clay has done.
Okay, he put my job in jeopardy.
He lied to me.
Phoebe, he lied to you.
You don't know that.
Look, I'm not saying that he's perfect.
Okay, and even if he is foolish enough to risk his own life he would never risk mine.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say this is a scorpion sting.
A scorpion sting in San Francisco? I know, but that's what it looks like.
Any chance he was killed somewhere else and moved here? No.
The lividity is consistent with where he was found.
Well, I buy this place has roaches.
I'm not so sure about scorpions.
Anything else? Found someone's business card in his pocket.
Buckland's Auction House? Let me guess, Prue Halliwell? - Yeah.
How'd you know? - I'm cursed.
Let me know when you get the report back on that sting.
Excuse me.
Palmer? Lot 49, 2600.
Lot 50, 15,000.
Lot 51, excluded.
Shouldn't that be turned in to the proper authorities? I'm contacting Customs as soon as we're finished here.
Look, again I just wanna assure you that I didn't have anything to do with Just handle it.
- How did we do? - $1.
28 million.
We did it.
The auction house lives to see another day.
- Congratulations.
Good work.
- Thanks.
Hey.
Andy, hi.
Here to arrest me again? Not this time.
A scorpion.
Why am I not surprised? I'm afraid I don't A young man died last night of a scorpion sting.
- Palmer Kellogg, you know him? - I don't believe I do.
Well, he obviously knew you.
I found your card on his body.
We did just have an auction.
I met a lot of people.
Well, I'll bring a photo by later, see if it jogs anything.
That's fine.
Prue, just because we're not dating anymore, I want you to know I still care about you.
So if you're ever in a jam or you ever need anything, just know you can always call me.
I know that.
Thanks.
- Clay, are you in there? - Phoebe? - You stole the urn, didn't you? - Why don't you come inside.
No, I am not going anywhere until you answer the question.
Okay, yes.
Were you planning on saying goodbye before you skipped town? Palmer's dead, Phoebe.
- What? - He died from a scorpion sting.
I call Wesley to tell him.
That's when his parents tell me he's dead too.
Spider bites.
I don't know how, I don't know why, but I know one thing, I'm not gonna stick around.
- You are such a liar! - Phoebe, I'm not lying.
You knew it was cursed when you stole it.
You knew the legend.
What are you talking about? What legend? Are you telling me that you didn't know whoever steals the urn dies? Palmer, Wesley I swear I knew nothing about it.
- Yeah, right.
- Phoebe, you have to believe me.
No, I don't.
You're a liar, Clay.
You will never change.
You'll always look for the easy way out.
Sorry.
- I'll go get the broom - Good idea.
I see you reversed the spell.
Yeah and I've been given until tomorrow to fire him.
Maybe Prue was right.
Maybe they just don't belong together.
Seems like the theme of the day.
Oh, Clay? He totally used me, Piper.
He just used me to get to Prue.
I'm sorry.
Thanks for not saying, "I told you so.
" Why didn't I see it coming? - What am I, a sucker for punishment? - No.
You see the good in people and that's never wrong.
Besides, the wrong guys are usually the most interesting.
Until you get your hopes up and let your guard down, and then they reveal their true selves.
- It's so true.
- I mean, look at Doug.
Great guy, kind of boring on the surface, easy to overlook.
But maybe in the long run we're better off with his type.
Maybe in the way long run.
- I think I'm still looking for adventure.
- Then you risk paying the price.
I got it.
- Maybe it's a price worth paying.
- Yeah.
I just don't know anymore.
Thanks for the ear.
- Can I come in? - No.
Look, I may have lied about buying the urn, but I swear I didn't know it was cursed.
Well, that still makes you a thief now, doesn't it? That's why I'm here.
I wanna make things right.
I wanna turn myself in to the police.
I mean it, Phoebe, honest.
It's the only way I can redeem myself with you.
And how do I know this isn't just another one of your scams? I guess you don't, but I don't wanna take shortcuts anymore.
I wanna take the urn with me to the police.
But there's no way Prue is just gonna give it to me not without you there.
I need your help.
It's the last favour I'll ever ask, I promise.
I don't think so.
Please.
The curse.
What? Let's go.
- Phoebe, what is he doing here? - Save it till later.
I have seen the future, and it's not bright.
Oh, good.
You didn't give the urn to the police.
No, I thought it might get you in trouble.
You know that little legend we were talking about? Well - I think it's true.
- What the hell is that? - Clay! - Get him out of here.
Go! I don't wanna harm you.
- I came for the thief.
- Who are you? I'm The Guardian of the urn.
You cannot destroy me.
Phoebe.
Run.
So now there are more who will die.
I still don't understand.
You stay down here, we'll be right back.
- What's going on? - I'll tell you in the attic.
- Where are you going? - Fill her in, I'll meet you guys upstairs.
Piper is really into legends and Prue is really good with her mind, so Yeah, but that thing, The Guardian, she's not even Human? Yeah.
I know.
But she's real and we have to figure out - how to stop her before she gets you.
- I don't know what you're thinking.
I do not want you getting hurt because of me.
You know, I think I actually believe you.
- Did you find anything? - Nothing about Egyptian urns or greed demons.
Zip.
Well, let's just hope that she didn't follow us here because our powers are useless against her.
How is that possible? I mean, that's never happened to us before.
Maybe we're not supposed to protect him.
- What are you saying? - Look, all I'm saying is that maybe there's a reason.
Like Piper trying to force Doug and Shelly back together again.
Maybe there are some things that we're not supposed to save.
No, we're saving Clay, period.
There's just gotta be something that we're missing.
Maybe this is something.
It doesn't talk about the urn, but it talks about the seven deadly sins.
- Greed being one of them.
- Wait a minute.
The Guardian punishes the greedy.
So maybe if Clay does something selfless, it'll even the score.
Good luck.
Sorry.
Clay! Clay, where are you? Clay? - I think he left.
- I don't believe it.
- Well, sorry, Pheebs.
- No, I mean, I really don't believe it.
- He wouldn't just leave.
- You have a better explanation? He was worried about me, he was worried about us.
I'm telling you Wait, my vision, I think I know where he's going.
We gotta stop him.
I knew you'd come back.
Your greed consumes you.
I'm not here for the urn.
- You must be punished.
- I know.
When you're done with me, that's it, right? - You're not gonna hurt anybody else? - Not until somebody steals the urn.
How do you know anybody will? Somebody always does.
- Clay! - Stay back, Phoebe.
- No! - Phoebe, look out! A selfless act.
Just like the Book of Shadows said.
- Where did it go? - Who cares, as long as it's not here.
Are you okay? Am I okay? Who says people never change? Good thing we didn't have to use our powers to vanquish her, otherwise Clay would've seen it.
They didn't work anyway.
Not something I hope ever happens again.
I forgot about Doug.
- This is getting ridiculous.
- Tell me about it.
That engagement ring's probably still burning a hole in his apron.
Where are you going? What are you doing? Solving your problem and keeping you employed.
Okay.
Sorry.
What's that? I was carrying that around for weeks trying to find the right time to ask you.
- Ask me what? - To marry me.
But that's why I broke up with you.
I gave up on waiting.
Maybe this would've happened sooner if I kept my little Wicca-nose out of their business.
I guess you can't change people.
They have to change themselves.
Speaking of that.
- Go, baby.
- Go, girl.
- All right.
- You go.
You can do it.
- Hey.
- Hey, I'm glad you stopped by.
Any chance you're gonna come back with me? No, this is my home now.
You know me, I had to try.
I know I've lied to you about a lot of things, but one thing I never lied to you about was how much I care about you.
I know, Clay.
- I guess I should be going.
- Yeah.
You know, I hope the next time we cross paths, I'll be the guy you always think you see.
Goodbye.
- Hey, you okay? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
He was just stopping by on his way home.
No big deal.
I've heard that before.

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