Charmed s05e14 Episode Script

Sand Francisco Dreamin'

I think I'm gonna go up to bed.
Oh, well, do you want some company? Well, I'm really tired.
I think I just need to get some sleep.
Good night, little one.
I would be glad to keep you company.
What are you doing here? I'm sweeping you off your feet.
No.
I can't.
All I see is you.
No, Ryder, please.
This isn't right.
I'm married.
Not in your dreams, you're not.
I could just hold you forever.
What? Where's my baby? Where are you? But wait, you haven't even seen the baby yet.
What'd you expect? They don't care about the kid.
Nobody does.
No, please don't.
Help me.
This is not a dream.
Leo, a hand here? No, my hands are full.
The shower is in two days.
Your kid's not gonna be opening cabinets for another year.
Well, tell that to Aunt Phoebe.
She gave me a book: One Thousand Unexpected Dangers For Baby.
Easy-opening cabinets, number 32.
All right, you leave me no choice.
Streamer.
Magic for personal gain.
It's not for me, it's for my niece.
Besides, I seem to be the only aunt who cares about this shower.
Phoebe cares, she's just preoccupied.
Oh, really? I'd say she skipped straight from preoccupied to paranoid.
You're exaggerating.
Am I? Yesterday, a balloon exploded, and she stormed down here with a vanquishing potion.
She almost blew up old Slappy here.
I think it's the recurring nightmare she's having.
It's just making her a little jumpy.
Really? God, you'd think with a Cole-free future she'd be dreaming nothing but happy, happy.
- You'd think.
- Yeah.
If I let my recurring dreams affect my waking life, I'd never get out of bed, much less throw a fabulous shower like this.
Why not? I don't know.
I've been having this recurring dream lately, and I'm at P3, and as soon as I get up to the baby, everybody just disappears.
It sounds like you and me have baby on the brain.
All I can think of lately is just holding her.
Where is the man of my dreams? Speaking of my little one.
Well, all right.
Beth Orton is playing at the club, I guess I'll get back to work.
Hey, you notice anything? I have noticed that subtlety is not your forte.
- You don't like it? - Well, I liked it.
You know, 15 streamers and 20 balloons ago.
Nothing is too good for my future niece.
Clearly.
I am so gonna be a soccer mom.
This kid has one mean kick.
Well, I want to feel it kick.
Well, honey, unless you're a bladder or kidney, you're not gonna feel it, because she's kicking the inside.
- Never get to feel her kick.
- Count your blessings.
I'm being summoned.
- Is it the Elders? - No, it's not the Elders.
It's Phoebe.
What is it? Leo, do not sneak up on me like that.
I wasn't sneaking.
And you called me.
Oh, yeah, right.
Okay, what do you know about Tracer demons? Lower level, mercenaries, able to track magical beings through different dimensions.
Why? Because one was in my dream last night, that's why.
- The guy behind the mask? - No.
This one wasn't the chain-saw guy.
He's still a mystery to me.
It was something weirder.
Different.
I was running away from him in the basement, right, that same guy, and then, all of a sudden, I was in the woods, where I used to camp.
- You were in the past? - No, it was the present.
And there was this weird creature standing there holding some kind of satchel.
And then the demon killed him.
Sounds like your recurring dream is getting complicated.
Yeah, except I think it was a premonition.
A premonition during a dream? Yeah, why not? It's happened before.
Phoebe, you've probably flipped past this drawing a hundred times, and you said the camp was from your childhood, so chances are Leo, I know what a premonition feels like.
Okay, besides, when I woke up, the creature was standing in my bedroom, begging me to help him.
- You sure you weren't still dreaming? - He said I wasn't.
And then when I found the Tracer demon in the Book, I was sure I wasn't either.
What would you like me to do? Go to the Elders.
Find out if it really was a premonition.
Because if it was, I have an innocent to save.
A precious night gone by, and you come back empty-handed.
- Yeah, but don't worry, I'll get him.
- Oh, it's not me that has to worry.
It's you.
You're the only demon that's failed me.
Everyone else has found their mark.
I'll get him tonight, I promise.
I mean, he's easy to find.
He watches over the same people, right? I'll need proof.
Yeah, sure, I'll get it.
Yeah.
Although, just out of curiosity, what is it you do with that stuff? Dream? Demons don't dream.
But with each one of these I collect, it means more humans won't either.
And without dreams, humans can't work through their issues while they sleep.
Which means those issues spill out into their waking life, turning them angry, evil.
Still don't understand what you get out of it.
Not like it's any of my business, of course, but I get respect from the leaders of the Underworld.
And, hopefully, rewarded because of it.
But if you fail me, I fail them.
Understand? Perfectly.
Okay, people, let's begin.
Bill, nice job on that hostage-standoff piece yesterday.
- Thanks.
- There's another one for you today.
State bank in North Beach.
Shots fired.
Go.
Wow, that's the third time this week.
Some of you guys are gonna have to double up.
Angry man ploughs into farmers' market in his car.
Angry woman attacks school principal with a knife.
And in sports, angry coach knocks out umpire with a baseball bat.
What the hell is going on out there? The city is going to pot, that's what's going on.
Bad news for the city, good news for circulation.
It's strange, even my readers seem angrier.
They keep asking for advice on how to deal with their tempers.
Hey, what are you doing? That's Metro, that makes it my story! It's mine, she gave it to me! Hey, hey, stop it right now! Sorry to interrupt but I've got Paige on the phone.
You want me to take a message? No.
No, I want to talk to her.
That's my story.
- Hey.
- Hey, I can't decide on a place setting.
It's either "baby in the clouds," which is a little baby Floating on a cloud, or "cozy bug," a baby bumblebee on a pink flower.
Oh, no, Piper's allergic to bees, remember? You're right.
Thank you so much.
Is that the only reason you were calling? - Yeah, why? - Have you been watching the news? It just seems that everyone's at each other's throats.
I mean, even here.
Have you noticed anything weird? Back it up, lady! You know, now that you mention it, I have seen my share of a certain finger while driving over here.
See, I think something's up.
Something evil, maybe.
Phoebe, seriously, I think you might need to get some help.
You think danger is lurking around every corner.
- Come on, lady! - Lady, it's my spot.
Besides, everybody is odd in San Francisco.
That's why we fit in so well.
Look, I know I've been jumpy lately, and I'm really trying to deal with it.
But just because I've been a bit neurotic maybe, that doesn't mean that I'm not right.
Hey, move it or lose it, lady! I want this space! Maybe you are right.
I never stopped loving you, Ryder.
You know that, don't you? I just never thought I'd see you again, Sienna.
Not after the yacht explosion.
And he's standing over me, telling me I'm not dreaming.
Well, I think you're crazy.
What, now you think this is connected to your dream? Or the premonition in my dream.
It would be a really big coincidence if it wasn't, don't you think? I've been waiting for this for weeks, people.
No, don't do that.
They were just getting to the good part.
Well, rent the video.
We have work that we have to do.
- It is not a video, it is a soap.
- Leo! Phoebe thinks that a demon is causing some anger epidemic.
Give me that remote.
- Give it.
- See? See, point positive.
Here.
- Hey, anything? - Based on what the Elders said, I think that your dream premonition is very real.
- Meaning so is the Tracer demon.
- What Tracer demon? And what about the creature? Do they know about the creature? What creature? Well, they think that it's a weird assomnio.
If that's the case, you definitely need to save him.
- A weirdo what? - Weird assomnio.
It's the original Latin term for a sandman.
Wait a minute, like, "Sandman, bring me a dream"? One and the same.
Only there isn't just one sandman.
There are many of them, like angels.
They visit good beings during their sleep, sprinkle them with dream dust so they can dream.
I can't believe they exist.
Not that I should be surprised.
Yeah, but they don't know what we dream about, do they? I mean that's all confidential, clearly, isn't it? I don't know.
But I do know that they exist on a different plane, which means the only way to find one Would be for a Tracer demon to bring him into our plane.
- And kill him.
- Great.
I don't get it.
Why would a demon be interested in killing people's dreams? I mean, they're just harmless erotic fun.
Did you say "erotic"? Exotic.
I said "exotic.
" I don't get exotic dreams.
I just get disturbing ones.
Mine are just scary.
But that's how you work through stuff, right? - In your dreams? - So? So I think that's why everyone's been crazy.
They're not dealing with their subconscious issues while they're dreaming.
I think I got some issues to work out.
You said your premonition took place somewhere where you used to camp? Yeah.
North State Campgrounds.
Well, all right, let's go.
And save our dreams.
Oh, Piper, maybe you should sit this one out.
Why? Don't you need me to vanquish the demon? No, I'll make a potion.
It's just you're not moving as swiftly as you used to, - and we might have to run.
- But Fine.
Do it yourself.
It's been so long.
But I never Forgot what it Feels like to be in your arms.
Oh, I missed it! Did you really think I wouldn't come back for you? Actually, I was counting on it.
Witches.
Who the hell is that? I'm sorry, I'm just so surprised that you're real.
Okay, this should keep our brains going on zero sleep.
Do sandmen even sleep? Only when our charges are all awake.
Oh, so basically never.
Okay, can we focus here? Because we have a demon to vanquish and a nightmare to deal with.
And a baby shower to get to.
What? I'm just saying.
Any idea how Phoebe's nightmare came to life? Well, no.
It's never happened before.
But then, no one's ever been hit with that much dream dust before either.
So you think, since she OD'd on the stuff, he just popped out of her head? Out of her unconscious.
But now that he's out, he's obviously very real.
Okay, does that mean he's gonna keep trying to kill me? If that's what he tries to do in your dreams, yes.
Great.
That's just great.
I need to think about this.
So we need to hurry up and find a way to put him back before any of our other dreams spring to life, shall we? - Dreams like what? - Never mind.
First, though, I think we need to stop the Tracer demon before this whole city turns into one huge nightmare, don't you think? Yes, but it's more than one Tracer you have to worry about.
There are others out there killing us.
Which means it must be an upper-level demon behind them orchestrating the attacks.
Okay, so we write a summoning spell, and we get the Tracer here, we freeze him, force him to talk, we'll vanquish him and his boss, and then the sandman can go back to keeping dreams where they belong.
Very impressive, and very fast.
What are we supposed to do about my chain-saw killer? Oh, don't worry about him.
We'll blow him up before he lays a blade on you.
Who is that? That must be Becca and Wendy with the hors d'oeuvre trays.
You're not against parsley, are you? - Get rid of them? - No, I will not get rid of them.
If I get rid of them, I have to stop the shower, - and I'm not doing that.
- All right, easy, easy.
We'll go take care of them, you guys go start the summoning spell.
Go, go.
Oh, thank you, mother.
Come on.
- Witches? You lost him to witches? - Just let me speak.
- Do they know about me? - No, I swear.
I can get to the sandman before they ever do.
I'm listening.
One of the witches, she got hit with too much dream dust.
So? No, wait.
Sorry.
I assure you, he's no threat to us.
Only to the witch who dreamed him up.
You got his attention.
You can turn that off now.
That right there is her worst nightmare, literally.
And since she's scared to death of him, I'm thinking if I could borrow a few of these satchels here, I might be able to make the other witches' dreams come to life too.
And how is this supposed to help you fulfil your obligation to me? It'll distract them long enough for me to kill my mark and collect my bounty.
I better take a couple extra, just in case.
Excuse me.
This better work.
Otherwise, I'm gonna be your worst nightmare.
Paige, that's enough.
I want them gone.
Just relax, Piper.
The trunk is officially empty.
Great, so we're done.
No way.
There's the whole back seat.
Oh, you're kidding, right? Hey, Paige is the one who sent us around to five different stores.
- Oh, my God.
- Okay, don't look in these bags, Piper.
You're not supposed to see the door prizes.
Hey, Becca, I thought we nixed the clown idea.
Oh, no, relax.
That's just one of Paige's old toys, Slappy.
- Good, because clowns are creepy.
- Especially that one.
Don't let Paige hear you say that.
- That's better.
- Okay, well, thanks, guys.
You know, thanks for everything.
You should really go.
And we'll call you if we need any more stuff.
Go? Paige wanted us to do all of this before the baby shower.
Yeah, I know.
But I'm the one that's pregnant, and I think we've reached our limit.
In fact, we've gone over it.
Way over it.
That's all those crazy hormones talking.
Maybe you should lie down and let us take over.
No, no, I'm fine.
Really, I'm fine.
The only crazy thing around here is the shower mania.
Especially when we should be focusing on the de Details, details.
Like what are we gonna wear and stuff.
Frankly, Piper, I'm surprised at your attitude.
This is all for you.
Oh, I know, and I'm thrilled.
But right now, I just need a little peace and quiet.
You know, pregnant woman's prerogative and all.
- If you say so.
- I do.
Yeah, okay, thanks.
It's just a stupid summoning spell.
I don't know why I can't come up with it.
You need to relax.
It'll come to you.
You know, maybe it's because I'm not so sure this is a good idea.
I mean, what if I bring the Tracer demon here, and it just makes matters worse? I mean, what then? He has surprised us before.
But that was just luck.
He didn't know your dream would come to life.
Well, it did.
And unfortunately, that's all I can think about.
Maybe if you can stop and figure out what it means, you won't be afraid of it anymore.
Leo, don't you think if I could do that I would have done it by now? I vanquish demons every day, real ones.
So some guy from my dream should be a piece of cake, even with power tools.
So why do I run from him? - Do you know why? - No.
I may be made of dreams, but I don't shape them.
Perhaps, if you can figure out who was behind the mask.
Characters in dreams symbolize something specific in one's life.
A special person, a certain feeling or pain.
Unmask that, demystify it, and the character goes away.
I don't even know where to begin with that.
My life is so great now.
My marriage from hell is behind me.
I don't know why I would start having nightmares now.
Only you can answer that, my dear.
In your dreams.
Not to sound unappreciative, but this is kind of overkill.
No, this is perfect.
Nothing is too good for my future niece.
Okay, but Paige, this is supposed to be a shower, not a coronation.
Hey, it is not every day that a half-whitelighter, half-witch is born into this world.
We need to celebrate her.
Okay, but "her" is not even gonna be here.
Except for the occasional kidney shot.
Which makes me wonder if maybe this is a little bit more about you than her.
- Where are your friends? - Gone but not forgotten.
- Are they coming back? - Not till the shower, why? Phoebe is almost done with the summoning spell, so we need to get ready.
You mean for me? Oh, no.
My love.
No.
How did you get here? Go away.
No, shoo, go away! Who are you talking to? What's the matter? Don't you recognize me, honey? It's Slappy! - Where's my baby? - Over here.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- That didn't sound good.
- Paige! Piper! It's no use.
You can't fight your own dreams.
You wanna bet? Would Freud have a field day with this or what? Phoebe, are you all right? Sweet dreams.
Phoebe? - What's taking so long? - I don't know.
He has the same wound? What happened? We're not sure.
Did you cage Chuckles? Slappy.
And, yeah, your guy too.
About that guy A little less bitching, a little more healing, please.
- Easy.
Easy.
Are you okay? - Yeah.
- Holy cow, are you okay? - Yeah.
We all got hit by the dream dust, Pheebs.
Hey, where's the sandman? Oh, no.
- How did he get healed? - Same way I did, I guess.
- Let's see if he can heal this.
- No, you can't kill him.
You kill him, you kill me.
Run.
We'll follow you.
We'll meet in the conservatory.
- Do what? - She's right, trust her.
Come on.
- Who's the clown? - Who's the fox? - Don't ask.
- Good question.
I'm Piper's dream lover.
No, listen, listen.
We've never slept together.
I mean, in the dream-world place.
Maybe you guys should take this in the other room.
Good idea.
Paige.
Pretty lame, don't you think? All the decorations? The partygoers will still disappear.
I got her number.
This is all crazy.
What are we gonna do? Well, I made a promise to the sandman, and I'm gonna keep it.
Okay, so we stick to the original plan.
We get the Tracer back here Yeah, that's real smart, Piper.
Anything happens to your dream guy out there, and you're dead.
I realize that.
And ease up, will you? You're upsetting the baby.
He's right, though.
Which means Tracer demon's gonna come back.
So we gotta figure out what to do, quickly.
Any ideas? What if we cast a sleeping spell and deal with them in our dreams? Come again? Well, the sandman said if we demystify them and we learn to understand them, then they'll just go away.
Yeah.
It doesn't take a shrink to figure out Piper's dreams.
You want to screw somebody else.
Well, at least he makes me feel sexy and not like some walking incubator.
Although I guess that's what you've been dreaming about.
Hey, guys, maybe not the time.
No, this is good.
The more we know, the better chance we have.
Well, I don't know what in the hell the clown means.
Well, it's gotta mean something.
Look, all I know is, in my dream I try to give the clown to the baby, then everybody at the shower just walks away, and I'm just left feeling empty.
Okay, well, you have to find out what that is.
You know, follow through with it.
Give the baby the clown and see what happens.
And you, you need to follow through too, missy.
You've created this dream guy to satisfy you, so maybe you should let him.
- What? - Sorry.
Relax, dude.
Women dream all the time.
Yeah.
Well, Miss Phoebe, who's the killer behind the mask? Isn't it obvious? It's gotta be Cole.
Why Cole? You're over him.
Well, in my waking state, yes.
But apparently, not in my subconscious.
What about me? Honey, we got our own dreams to deal with and the Tracer.
We'll deal with your Mr.
Mom issues later.
We need you to protect us when we go under in case the Tracer demon attacks.
Will you guys work on the sleeping spell? - All over it.
- Okay.
- Where are you going? - To get some dream dust.
That's what the sandman was made of.
Come on, sis, let's go.
What are you doing here? You got your bounty, didn't you? Yes, I did.
But I've been thinking about your plan to impress the Underworld leaders.
I think there's a better way to do that.
- Really? - Yeah.
I mean, killing a sandman is fine, but wouldn't, say, killing the Charmed Ones be more impressive? If it could be done, it would've been done by now.
I know, that's why I didn't show up to take out their sandman until at least one of them was down.
That started me thinking.
With their dreams out and about, maybe they're more vulnerable now than they've ever been.
Maybe it's time to go for it, really impress the leaders.
All right, what do you need from me? I need you out of my way.
Please.
Let me hold you.
I just want to hold you, baby.
There.
I've got you.
Leo, wake up.
Snap out of it.
Okay, just don't use too much.
We don't want any more problems coming to life.
Are you sure it's okay to go to sleep with the Tracer demon still out there? Piper, I need you.
I want you.
Come on, Paige, let's party! Come on now, get uptown Let's get this over with.
Okay, everybody know what they need to do? Yep, I need to find out why I feel so empty.
And I need to give in to my desire and That's enough.
Phoebe? I need to find the courage to kick my killer's ass.
Ready? Let we who waken From our sleep Return at once to slumber deep I know you're down here.
You always are.
I'm not afraid.
I'm not afraid.
I'm not afraid! But wait, you haven't even seen the baby yet.
But you should.
That's why you're here, isn't it? Go ahead, take a peek.
Paige, you okay? The baby in the cradle was me.
Nobody was allowed to celebrate my birth because it had to be kept a secret.
Guess that's why I was trying to make up for it with your baby.
It'll be different for her.
But first, we need to get her mommy back.
Ryder, please, this isn't right.
I'm married.
Not in your dreams, you're not.
Don't be afraid.
You know you want to.
- What happened? Where did he go? - Nowhere.
He was right here all along.
I was dreaming about you.
About us.
The way we used to be.
And I don't want that to change just because we're married and having a baby.
It won't.
Guys? Phoebe's not looking so hot.
Come on, Phoebe.
You can do this.
It's now or never.
Phoebe? Honey, what's happening? Don't let them in! This is not gonna hold them off.
Phoebe, will you deal with your issues already? Yelling at her is not gonna help! All right, that's enough.
Don't.
You kill them, you kill Phoebe.
Then what the hell are we gonna do? What am I supposed to do to make them go away? Unmask them and he goes away.
That's it.
Oh, my God.
Phoebe, hurry up.
Where'd they go? You did it, you kicked his ass.
No, actually, I didn't.
I just unmasked him, or me, rather.
You? The killer was you? Yeah.
How narcissistic is that? That's weird.
I thought my clown was strange.
- What happened in here? - Nothing much.
We've just been protecting you from, apparently, you.
Wait a minute, I don't get it.
I thought Cole was involved in your nightmare.
Yeah, so did I, until I stopped running scared and realized that I was just running from myself.
I don't follow.
It's kind of an old issue for me.
Self-sabotage.
I just kept beating myself up with the whole Cole thing, not thinking that I deserved to move on.
Oh, you deserve it.
Well, the good news is, is that it's over for all of us.
Maybe not all of us.
She kicked.
I felt the baby kick.
Now, why did that happen? Well, you said you wanted to be closer to the baby.
So you were.
Now you're not.
Yeah, well, right now I want to be closer to my wife.
Prepare to die, witches.
Where are your dreams? Boy, are you ever late.
Why'd you do that? We needed to find out who he was working for.
Oh, there is more where he came from.
Besides, we're saving dreams.
I don't want a lot of cranky women at my baby shower.
Unless, you know, having one is gonna bring up some issues for you.
No, no, I'm fine.
You know, I would even be so big as to consider moving it to P3.
Well, I can't.
I've got Beth Orton booked for tonight.
What better way to celebrate? Just hope we can stay awake long enough to enjoy it.

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