Clarence US (2014) s01e02 Episode Script
A Pretty Great Day With a Girl
1 1x02 - Pretty Great Day with a Girl This isn't a mud pyramid.
It's a secret volcano! Oh, no! Here comes the lava! Oh, I'm burning! Oh, it's so hard, being a grass man.
- Hey, Clarence.
- Hey.
Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
I forgot your name again.
It's Amy again.
Want to go ride bikes? Uh, I don't have one yet, but I'm gonna ask for one for Christmas, so maybe do you want to bring this up again - around christmastime? - Well just hop on my pegs.
Oh! Radical! Where we going? - We're looking for an erratic.
- What's that? An erratic.
It's, like, kind of a giant boulder.
Giant boulder, you say.
Tell me more.
"Erratic" noun.
A rock or boulder that differs from the surrounding rock and is believed to have been brought from a distance by glacial action.
Oh, wow! Like, a monster rock? Kinda.
My sis told me about it.
She said it was in the woods past the park.
Wait.
So you're saying there's one of these nearby? - Yeah.
That's what my sister said.
I mean, I don't know if it's biking distance.
We got to find that rock.
- Oh, so, what you guys up to? - We're looking for an erratic.
Yeah, it's like a monster rock that eats other rocks.
All right.
Just don't get hurt.
Wow! Look at that one.
Whoa! Did you see that one? That one is so cool.
Oh, my gosh.
Okay, I got to go pee.
Whoa! Look at that one! Do you think it's gonna look like that one? - Clarence, go pee.
- Oh, geez.
Okay, I'm gonna go pee.
Hey, Amy, how long do you think we're gonna be gone for? I don't know.
Like, three hours, maybe.
Yeah, I better make a few more.
Ready.
Okay, so, I think if we head this way, it's around the cheese sticks deal.
You want to hold the map? - You mean, I get to be navigator? - Yeah, sure.
All right, now, let's see.
Um, the sun is up, so that means it's that way.
Whoosh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa Thank you! Good game.
Good game.
Good game.
Hey, bark-bark.
Hey, Mario.
Hey, Duncan.
Hey, grandpa.
- Hi, Ms.
Baker.
- Hi, Clarence.
Chad! Chad! Chad! Clarence! Clarence! Wow.
You're friends with, like, everybody.
Not everybody.
Hey, Victor.
He doesn't like me very much.
Huh? What the heck? Nathan, I just saw Clarence hanging out with Amy.
- Uh, Amy Shtuzger or Amy Gillis? - Amy Gillis! - Amy Gillis?! - Set, hike.
I'm open! - What the heck, Belson? - There's no time for this.
I just saw Clarence go into the park with Amy Gillis - all alone, together.
- But why? I don't know.
But we're gonna find out.
So, Peter and Melissa couldn't make it through the door 'cause Professor Sooly put a spell on it.
But, basically, there's this thing called a soul chime, and everyone's born with one.
But Peter's special.
He just doesn't know it yet.
And that's just the first book.
Oh.
Cool.
Yeah, I-I haven't got to that one yet.
- I bet they're gonna make out.
- No.
- What does that mean, "make out"? - I don't know.
But whatever it is, they're gonna do it.
Hey, let's pretend to be bears.
Oh, okay.
A bear let's see.
Oh, hello.
I'm a honey bear.
Where's all that honey that I eat? No, like a real bear.
Oh, no! It's my real-bear friend, Tyler! Tyler, no! You have to get your own honey for winter! Look at them.
- It's disgusting.
- They're definitely gonna make out.
- Shut up! - Whoo! Oh, bother.
Amy, you better take a look at this! Oh, my gosh.
- We found it! - Whoo! It's huge! Look at it! Yep, that's the monster rock, all right.
Hey, Clarence, there's more - moss for you at the top.
- Yes! - All right.
- Whoa! We can even see where we live! We climbed up to the top of the rock I ate some Moss, and I kicked some off don't mess with me or my friend Amy 'cause we climb rocks, and I go pee - What are they doing up there? - I don't know.
Looks like fun, though.
- No.
Girls are gross.
- Yeah.
- But they're kind of pretty to look at.
- Yeah.
- And their hair's soft, too.
- Kind of like a dog.
You're a pretty good explorer.
We should do this more often.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
So, what grade are you gonna be in next year? I'm gonna be in 5th grade.
But I don't know if I'm coming back.
- Oh, what do you mean? - I might be moving.
I don't know if I'm gonna be living with my mom or my dad.
Huh.
There was a little bit where I didn't have a dad, but now I have a Chad.
He's pretty awesome.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
He lets me ride piggyback all the time.
- That sounds pretty good.
- Oh, it's great.
- But girls smell a lot better.
- That's true.
- And their skin's soft.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Girls are great.
We should be on that rock, not Clarence.
Why? So you can make out with Amy? No! I just want to be on a rock.
Someone's got a crush Go get some pinecones.
We're taking that rock.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Look, I can squirt water through my teeth.
Hey.
- What are you guys doing on our rock? - Oh, hey, Belson.
You want to come join us on our monster rock? Uh, this isn't your rock.
We found it.
- You can't just own it.
- Yeah, you can't just own it.
Can't I? Attack! Ooooh! War! War! Clarence! Grab anything you can throw! Right.
Take this! Sorry, moss.
Cover me.
- Uh - Watch out! Ow.
Ow! Why, I oughta Scoop, scoop, throw, throw.
Scoop, scoop, throw, throw.
Pinecone war! Pinecone war! Pinecone war! Try and hit me! Try and hit me! Whoa, whoa! What the heck, man? You hit her in the face.
- Sorry, Amy! - Whatever.
It didn't even hurt.
Uh-oh.
I got to go pee again.
Clarence! I need help! I can't do this by myself.
I would really like to, Amy, but I got to go pee.
- Clarence! You just - Ha-ha.
Now you're all wet.
Oh.
Pinecone war! Pinecone war! Pinecone war! - Oh.
Hey, Clarence, I - Hyah! Ouch.
Clarence, I got to go home.
I got to eat dinner.
- Hey, you had enough? - Um, yes.
Hey, guys, Amy's got to go home now, and we were almost out of moss, anyway.
Ha! We won! See you guys later.
Thanks for the battle.
Amy, can I ride on your pegs again? - Yeah, sure.
- Sweet.
But I'm gonna walk the bike down I don't think we won.
Ding, ding.
Here's my stop.
- Well, it was fun hanging out.
- Yeah, totally.
- Maybe I'll see you at school.
- Yeah.
Maybe.
Here.
I think it's still going.
Whoa.
That's gross.
Don't worry.
It'll grow back.
And I think it'll grow into a full lizard again.
- O kay.
Thanks, Clarence.
- You're welcome.
- Well, bye.
- See you later.
- So, what happened? - Did you guys make out? Uh, I don't know.
I don't think so.
We made a lot of sandwiches, though.
You guys want some? I still can't believe you were hanging out with a girl all day.
Man, Clarence.
- You are so lucky.
- Yep.
I pretty much get all the sandwiches I want.
It's a secret volcano! Oh, no! Here comes the lava! Oh, I'm burning! Oh, it's so hard, being a grass man.
- Hey, Clarence.
- Hey.
Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
I forgot your name again.
It's Amy again.
Want to go ride bikes? Uh, I don't have one yet, but I'm gonna ask for one for Christmas, so maybe do you want to bring this up again - around christmastime? - Well just hop on my pegs.
Oh! Radical! Where we going? - We're looking for an erratic.
- What's that? An erratic.
It's, like, kind of a giant boulder.
Giant boulder, you say.
Tell me more.
"Erratic" noun.
A rock or boulder that differs from the surrounding rock and is believed to have been brought from a distance by glacial action.
Oh, wow! Like, a monster rock? Kinda.
My sis told me about it.
She said it was in the woods past the park.
Wait.
So you're saying there's one of these nearby? - Yeah.
That's what my sister said.
I mean, I don't know if it's biking distance.
We got to find that rock.
- Oh, so, what you guys up to? - We're looking for an erratic.
Yeah, it's like a monster rock that eats other rocks.
All right.
Just don't get hurt.
Wow! Look at that one.
Whoa! Did you see that one? That one is so cool.
Oh, my gosh.
Okay, I got to go pee.
Whoa! Look at that one! Do you think it's gonna look like that one? - Clarence, go pee.
- Oh, geez.
Okay, I'm gonna go pee.
Hey, Amy, how long do you think we're gonna be gone for? I don't know.
Like, three hours, maybe.
Yeah, I better make a few more.
Ready.
Okay, so, I think if we head this way, it's around the cheese sticks deal.
You want to hold the map? - You mean, I get to be navigator? - Yeah, sure.
All right, now, let's see.
Um, the sun is up, so that means it's that way.
Whoosh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa Thank you! Good game.
Good game.
Good game.
Hey, bark-bark.
Hey, Mario.
Hey, Duncan.
Hey, grandpa.
- Hi, Ms.
Baker.
- Hi, Clarence.
Chad! Chad! Chad! Clarence! Clarence! Wow.
You're friends with, like, everybody.
Not everybody.
Hey, Victor.
He doesn't like me very much.
Huh? What the heck? Nathan, I just saw Clarence hanging out with Amy.
- Uh, Amy Shtuzger or Amy Gillis? - Amy Gillis! - Amy Gillis?! - Set, hike.
I'm open! - What the heck, Belson? - There's no time for this.
I just saw Clarence go into the park with Amy Gillis - all alone, together.
- But why? I don't know.
But we're gonna find out.
So, Peter and Melissa couldn't make it through the door 'cause Professor Sooly put a spell on it.
But, basically, there's this thing called a soul chime, and everyone's born with one.
But Peter's special.
He just doesn't know it yet.
And that's just the first book.
Oh.
Cool.
Yeah, I-I haven't got to that one yet.
- I bet they're gonna make out.
- No.
- What does that mean, "make out"? - I don't know.
But whatever it is, they're gonna do it.
Hey, let's pretend to be bears.
Oh, okay.
A bear let's see.
Oh, hello.
I'm a honey bear.
Where's all that honey that I eat? No, like a real bear.
Oh, no! It's my real-bear friend, Tyler! Tyler, no! You have to get your own honey for winter! Look at them.
- It's disgusting.
- They're definitely gonna make out.
- Shut up! - Whoo! Oh, bother.
Amy, you better take a look at this! Oh, my gosh.
- We found it! - Whoo! It's huge! Look at it! Yep, that's the monster rock, all right.
Hey, Clarence, there's more - moss for you at the top.
- Yes! - All right.
- Whoa! We can even see where we live! We climbed up to the top of the rock I ate some Moss, and I kicked some off don't mess with me or my friend Amy 'cause we climb rocks, and I go pee - What are they doing up there? - I don't know.
Looks like fun, though.
- No.
Girls are gross.
- Yeah.
- But they're kind of pretty to look at.
- Yeah.
- And their hair's soft, too.
- Kind of like a dog.
You're a pretty good explorer.
We should do this more often.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
So, what grade are you gonna be in next year? I'm gonna be in 5th grade.
But I don't know if I'm coming back.
- Oh, what do you mean? - I might be moving.
I don't know if I'm gonna be living with my mom or my dad.
Huh.
There was a little bit where I didn't have a dad, but now I have a Chad.
He's pretty awesome.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
He lets me ride piggyback all the time.
- That sounds pretty good.
- Oh, it's great.
- But girls smell a lot better.
- That's true.
- And their skin's soft.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Girls are great.
We should be on that rock, not Clarence.
Why? So you can make out with Amy? No! I just want to be on a rock.
Someone's got a crush Go get some pinecones.
We're taking that rock.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Look, I can squirt water through my teeth.
Hey.
- What are you guys doing on our rock? - Oh, hey, Belson.
You want to come join us on our monster rock? Uh, this isn't your rock.
We found it.
- You can't just own it.
- Yeah, you can't just own it.
Can't I? Attack! Ooooh! War! War! Clarence! Grab anything you can throw! Right.
Take this! Sorry, moss.
Cover me.
- Uh - Watch out! Ow.
Ow! Why, I oughta Scoop, scoop, throw, throw.
Scoop, scoop, throw, throw.
Pinecone war! Pinecone war! Pinecone war! Try and hit me! Try and hit me! Whoa, whoa! What the heck, man? You hit her in the face.
- Sorry, Amy! - Whatever.
It didn't even hurt.
Uh-oh.
I got to go pee again.
Clarence! I need help! I can't do this by myself.
I would really like to, Amy, but I got to go pee.
- Clarence! You just - Ha-ha.
Now you're all wet.
Oh.
Pinecone war! Pinecone war! Pinecone war! - Oh.
Hey, Clarence, I - Hyah! Ouch.
Clarence, I got to go home.
I got to eat dinner.
- Hey, you had enough? - Um, yes.
Hey, guys, Amy's got to go home now, and we were almost out of moss, anyway.
Ha! We won! See you guys later.
Thanks for the battle.
Amy, can I ride on your pegs again? - Yeah, sure.
- Sweet.
But I'm gonna walk the bike down I don't think we won.
Ding, ding.
Here's my stop.
- Well, it was fun hanging out.
- Yeah, totally.
- Maybe I'll see you at school.
- Yeah.
Maybe.
Here.
I think it's still going.
Whoa.
That's gross.
Don't worry.
It'll grow back.
And I think it'll grow into a full lizard again.
- O kay.
Thanks, Clarence.
- You're welcome.
- Well, bye.
- See you later.
- So, what happened? - Did you guys make out? Uh, I don't know.
I don't think so.
We made a lot of sandwiches, though.
You guys want some? I still can't believe you were hanging out with a girl all day.
Man, Clarence.
- You are so lucky.
- Yep.
I pretty much get all the sandwiches I want.