Clarence US (2014) s01e19 Episode Script
Lizard Day Afternoon
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! - Yee-haw! - Hoo! Yee-haw! Hey, you can see the whole parking lot from up here.
- Whoa! - Hey! Get down from that! You know what? It's not my prob Fine.
Hurt yourself.
Hurt yourself.
See? I told you you'd get yelled at.
That's all we've been doing all weekend Getting yelled at.
We haven't been doing anything constructive.
I want to be able to contribute to conversation when I'm back at school.
- What are you getting at? - Well, hear me out.
Belson just got a new gaming system The Cerebrus Breach.
Announcer: Cerebrus Breach.
The totally immersive virtual-reality game system, wirelessly transmitting adventure to the hyperaction components helmet, boot, and glove.
The only missing element is you.
- Hyah! - And I sold all my decorative spoons to buy the perfect game for it "City Planner 3000.
" You bought a game for a system you don't even own? Yes.
I hear when you're in the game, you can create and control your own world.
In my world, everything will be where it should be no mistakes, no chaos.
Everything will be perfect.
Perfect.
But why? We got a perfect world right here.
Ugh.
This'll be more fun.
Belson just got that thing.
He's never gonna let you play with it.
Yes, he will.
I have the game.
He has the gaming system.
Makes sense to me.
No, he won't! It'll be a waste of our time! Waste of our time! Why are you so mad? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You need to calm down, Jeff.
- You're upsetting Sumo.
- What about me? That's what I'm saying.
You're out of control, Jeff.
Chill out.
There, there, little guy.
I was I was willing to Forget it! I'm going to Belson's without you guys.
Good idea, Jeff.
You take some time and cool off.
You got to think about what you've done.
- Geez.
What a hothead.
- Uh-huh.
Loose cannon.
- So, what do you want to do? - Uh eh - What do you want to do? - Uh - Uh - Uh - Uh - Uh Uh Both: Uh uh Lizard! Let's get him! Jeff! What a nice surprise! And what beautiful flowers.
Just a little something to brighten up the room.
You should put them in water.
Is Belson upstairs? Oh, these are lovely.
What is that? Is that a magic potion, or where where do I blow stuff up? Cerebrus Breach.
Whoa-oh.
Sure are a lot of trees.
- Hi, Belson.
- Ohh! Who's that? - It's Jeff.
- Jeff? Jeff? Are you in here or out there? It's your old buddy Jeff.
How you doin', daddy-o? - Okay.
Well, go away.
- Well, your mom said that I I got this game, and What level are you on? - What? There's not levels.
- Oh.
That sounds amazing.
Can I go next? Yeah, whatever.
Come he Okay.
Where is No.
No.
Hah! Ugh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Ohh! Ow, ow, ow! Hurry up! I smell his fear musk! Fear musk? That's gross.
Come on! We're gonna lose him! I'm coming! Ohh! Aw, sweet! Check out my party shirt.
Dang it! I knew he was a tricky one.
Excuse me, kids.
Both: Whoa! How did you know how to do that? - I used my key.
- Whoa.
What happens to those chips? Usually just throw 'em out.
Why? You want 'em? We're living the dream, buddy.
- Snack time! - The scepter is so close Here you go, buddy.
Take a bite.
- Eww! What is this stuff? - It's instant pudding.
- I saw you eat it one time.
- Oh.
Well, feed it to me.
And then I can have a turn on the game, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff, pudding.
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
Mmm, yum.
Okay.
Okay.
Now I'm ready to go face the dragon.
- Why are you still in my house? - Ugh.
Lizard, lizard, lizard! I'm coming to get you.
I'm a turtle.
Huh! Yeah! Ow! Ow! I'm larger than life I want to run arou-u-u-nd like a lizard He's in the bushes.
Where is he? Come on.
You got to be in here somewhere.
Whoa! Sumo, look! - You found him? - No something better.
Rolled quarters - There must be $1 million in here! - Or even less! We can do anything with this! - Think about it buy some horns.
- Or buy a piã'ata.
- Or get you a new outfit.
- Or Or do a dollar hunt.
- Or buy some horns.
- Yeah! Or Once more around the block, please.
Sorry.
That's all 10 bucks will get you.
- What now? - Wait a minute.
Think about it, Sumo.
All the great stuff today the free chips, the free money, the horse-and-buggy ride it was all because of from chasing that lizard.
- He led us to good fortune.
- Like a genie? Exactly! So, that means we should - Catch him, put in a lamp, and rub it? - Yeah! Belson, I know you can hear me in there, and I mean it! Give me a turn or I'm walking out this door right now.
Last chance, Belson.
There is no one crossing this line.
Fine! Have a nice game.
Uhhhhh.
O-O-O-kay.
I was bluffing.
Let's start over.
It's okay, lizard.
We don't want to hurt you.
We just want to catch you and put you in a lamp so you'll give us wishes! I got him! Here I come with the lamp! Here I come with the lizard! Nooo! I-I can't do it, Sumo.
Lizards belong on the street, not in a lamp.
We can't let him go.
We won't get our wishes.
This is my wish, Sumo.
Mine, too.
I'm glad we didn't put that lizard in a lamp.
Me, too.
We should probably get off this roof anyway.
I'm really trying here, Belson! I don't know what else you want from me.
I trimmed your nails.
I alphabetized your wardrobe.
I sanitized your toilets.
Well, I would have done that anyway.
But I need this.
You have to let me play.
You have to! Please, please let me play.
Okay.
I'm just gonna pop this out and put this in and slide this guy off Cerebrus and giveme a turn.
It's all mine! Ha! Hmm.
That gazebo's a little small.
Ohh! No! Jeff, Jeff, look we got a new lizard! We named him Jeff because we missed you.
We had the best day.
He led us to the chips, and then we got quarters, and then I bought a little parachute for him.
We're gonna take him base jumping off my roof! We also got some pictures taken.
You want to see? Oh.
Well, I had a really great day, too.
Belson and I just hung out all day.
Check it out.
We took a bunch of selfies me and Belson playing the Cerebrus Breach.
It was It was a lot of fun.
- I want a turn! - I call after Sumo! Well, actually, I really got to beat this part first.
Okay.
Let's put a nice 10-foot house right over here, right next to the fire hydrant with its little dog house.
Okay, perfect.
Gazebo.
Let's make the town hall.
- Oh, I am just having so much fun.
- All right.
You have fun.
We're gonna wait right here.
Let's leave.
I could just play this all day! Wow.
Oh, boy.
- Whoa! - Hey! Get down from that! You know what? It's not my prob Fine.
Hurt yourself.
Hurt yourself.
See? I told you you'd get yelled at.
That's all we've been doing all weekend Getting yelled at.
We haven't been doing anything constructive.
I want to be able to contribute to conversation when I'm back at school.
- What are you getting at? - Well, hear me out.
Belson just got a new gaming system The Cerebrus Breach.
Announcer: Cerebrus Breach.
The totally immersive virtual-reality game system, wirelessly transmitting adventure to the hyperaction components helmet, boot, and glove.
The only missing element is you.
- Hyah! - And I sold all my decorative spoons to buy the perfect game for it "City Planner 3000.
" You bought a game for a system you don't even own? Yes.
I hear when you're in the game, you can create and control your own world.
In my world, everything will be where it should be no mistakes, no chaos.
Everything will be perfect.
Perfect.
But why? We got a perfect world right here.
Ugh.
This'll be more fun.
Belson just got that thing.
He's never gonna let you play with it.
Yes, he will.
I have the game.
He has the gaming system.
Makes sense to me.
No, he won't! It'll be a waste of our time! Waste of our time! Why are you so mad? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You need to calm down, Jeff.
- You're upsetting Sumo.
- What about me? That's what I'm saying.
You're out of control, Jeff.
Chill out.
There, there, little guy.
I was I was willing to Forget it! I'm going to Belson's without you guys.
Good idea, Jeff.
You take some time and cool off.
You got to think about what you've done.
- Geez.
What a hothead.
- Uh-huh.
Loose cannon.
- So, what do you want to do? - Uh eh - What do you want to do? - Uh - Uh - Uh - Uh - Uh Uh Both: Uh uh Lizard! Let's get him! Jeff! What a nice surprise! And what beautiful flowers.
Just a little something to brighten up the room.
You should put them in water.
Is Belson upstairs? Oh, these are lovely.
What is that? Is that a magic potion, or where where do I blow stuff up? Cerebrus Breach.
Whoa-oh.
Sure are a lot of trees.
- Hi, Belson.
- Ohh! Who's that? - It's Jeff.
- Jeff? Jeff? Are you in here or out there? It's your old buddy Jeff.
How you doin', daddy-o? - Okay.
Well, go away.
- Well, your mom said that I I got this game, and What level are you on? - What? There's not levels.
- Oh.
That sounds amazing.
Can I go next? Yeah, whatever.
Come he Okay.
Where is No.
No.
Hah! Ugh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Ohh! Ow, ow, ow! Hurry up! I smell his fear musk! Fear musk? That's gross.
Come on! We're gonna lose him! I'm coming! Ohh! Aw, sweet! Check out my party shirt.
Dang it! I knew he was a tricky one.
Excuse me, kids.
Both: Whoa! How did you know how to do that? - I used my key.
- Whoa.
What happens to those chips? Usually just throw 'em out.
Why? You want 'em? We're living the dream, buddy.
- Snack time! - The scepter is so close Here you go, buddy.
Take a bite.
- Eww! What is this stuff? - It's instant pudding.
- I saw you eat it one time.
- Oh.
Well, feed it to me.
And then I can have a turn on the game, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff, pudding.
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
Mmm, yum.
Okay.
Okay.
Now I'm ready to go face the dragon.
- Why are you still in my house? - Ugh.
Lizard, lizard, lizard! I'm coming to get you.
I'm a turtle.
Huh! Yeah! Ow! Ow! I'm larger than life I want to run arou-u-u-nd like a lizard He's in the bushes.
Where is he? Come on.
You got to be in here somewhere.
Whoa! Sumo, look! - You found him? - No something better.
Rolled quarters - There must be $1 million in here! - Or even less! We can do anything with this! - Think about it buy some horns.
- Or buy a piã'ata.
- Or get you a new outfit.
- Or Or do a dollar hunt.
- Or buy some horns.
- Yeah! Or Once more around the block, please.
Sorry.
That's all 10 bucks will get you.
- What now? - Wait a minute.
Think about it, Sumo.
All the great stuff today the free chips, the free money, the horse-and-buggy ride it was all because of from chasing that lizard.
- He led us to good fortune.
- Like a genie? Exactly! So, that means we should - Catch him, put in a lamp, and rub it? - Yeah! Belson, I know you can hear me in there, and I mean it! Give me a turn or I'm walking out this door right now.
Last chance, Belson.
There is no one crossing this line.
Fine! Have a nice game.
Uhhhhh.
O-O-O-kay.
I was bluffing.
Let's start over.
It's okay, lizard.
We don't want to hurt you.
We just want to catch you and put you in a lamp so you'll give us wishes! I got him! Here I come with the lamp! Here I come with the lizard! Nooo! I-I can't do it, Sumo.
Lizards belong on the street, not in a lamp.
We can't let him go.
We won't get our wishes.
This is my wish, Sumo.
Mine, too.
I'm glad we didn't put that lizard in a lamp.
Me, too.
We should probably get off this roof anyway.
I'm really trying here, Belson! I don't know what else you want from me.
I trimmed your nails.
I alphabetized your wardrobe.
I sanitized your toilets.
Well, I would have done that anyway.
But I need this.
You have to let me play.
You have to! Please, please let me play.
Okay.
I'm just gonna pop this out and put this in and slide this guy off Cerebrus and giveme a turn.
It's all mine! Ha! Hmm.
That gazebo's a little small.
Ohh! No! Jeff, Jeff, look we got a new lizard! We named him Jeff because we missed you.
We had the best day.
He led us to the chips, and then we got quarters, and then I bought a little parachute for him.
We're gonna take him base jumping off my roof! We also got some pictures taken.
You want to see? Oh.
Well, I had a really great day, too.
Belson and I just hung out all day.
Check it out.
We took a bunch of selfies me and Belson playing the Cerebrus Breach.
It was It was a lot of fun.
- I want a turn! - I call after Sumo! Well, actually, I really got to beat this part first.
Okay.
Let's put a nice 10-foot house right over here, right next to the fire hydrant with its little dog house.
Okay, perfect.
Gazebo.
Let's make the town hall.
- Oh, I am just having so much fun.
- All right.
You have fun.
We're gonna wait right here.
Let's leave.
I could just play this all day! Wow.
Oh, boy.