Clarence US (2014) s02e12 Episode Script
Company Man
1 I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! Ah, the sweet cloud bunny, hopping through the sky nature's cotton candy.
"Revealing true form! I am a cloud airplane instead.
" "Oh, no! Look out!" Clarence! He can't even do it! Clarence, are you serious? You are the worst goalie ever! Uh, no.
Actually, I saw it go by.
I was just busy.
Ugh! Chumps! Go get it.
Aye, aye, sir! Just a sec here unh! All right! Goalie on duty.
Gonna get the ball.
gonna get the ball There it is! Come back here.
Oh, no! Wow! Oh! That's enough! Oh! I'm sorry.
We weren't expecting you today! I-I thought you were coming by next week.
You can go right in.
I'll let everyone know you're here.
Attention, everyone! I would just like to remind you all that the boss' son is visiting us today.
Let's all show him a good time.
All right, come on, come on! We got to clock in before the boss's kid gets here.
- Come on.
- Oh-ho, what a nightmare.
I don't know who scares me more our boss or his kid.
Well, I heard Gurgenson got him a new pizza, and he got promoted.
Yeah, it's like "bring your kid to work day.
" More like, "bring your brat to eat my lunch day.
" Good one.
There he is.
Ooh! What do we have here? Whoa! Uh As your creator, I christen thee Brown Town.
Playing around with company mail? Uh-oh! Earthquake! I got to give these out now.
What do you say about helpin' old Janice? Choo-choo! Mail train! Coming through! - Thank you.
- Oh! Thanks! Well, we can set you up with a new account.
Uh-huh.
- Mail time! - Ohh! - Here you go.
Here's some letters! - Ohh! And you get the rest! So long, mail angel! Shred it.
Uh-huh.
Can I help? We think with the new streamlined model, you can have even better productivity.
But should we drastically rebrand our entire company? - # Brown Town! # - Brown Town! Huh? Ow! This part this version of Brown Town looks pretty great! Aww! Are those brown windows? Look at these little brown trees! And you even got well, that should be brown.
Hey! The water's supposed to be brown, too.
Well, guys, I think you all made a good effort, but it still needs some work, needs a little more brown.
So you want everything to be brown? Yes Brown Town.
This is gonna cost a lot of money.
Little cub curious about father lion, up in his golden tower? Must be nice.
Boy, no one seems to like this boss guy very much.
Aw, shoot, I would, if you told your ol' pops to give me a raise.
- Okay.
- Wait.
You mean it? A raise?! - C-Could you give me a raise, too? - Hey, kid, here's my card! Huh? H-Hey, kid, could you get me a raise, too? Enough! Stop! - Oof! - Hey, kiddo! You want to wear my suit? Hmm? Hmm? You got to be confident.
That's how you really win.
- Hey, kid, lookin' for your dad? - Oh, uh not actively, no.
Hey, uh, is that really him? - Is that the boss' kid? - Whoa, whoa.
Let me tell you a little something, Joe.
How many sales you close today? Are you in here doing business, doing your best? Or are you out there, pointing fingers? How many sales you close today? Huh? Uh, uh, uh zero! So why don't you take that slimy little finger and point it right back to your desk and make this company some money! You little trash slug.
There's only two kinds of people in this world chumps and big boys.
You want a sandwich, kiddo? You want to be a big boy, right? Don't we all? Hey, does your father know me? I'm Noah.
- Um, who's Mark? - Some chump! - That sandwich for big boys.
- Big boys Give me the sandwich.
If you're not closing a deal, you are a chump! And you know what they do with chumps around here? They get chopped! Here's your sandwich.
Here's some napkins.
You want some coffee? 'Course you do.
Careful.
It's hot.
What is this? No, you don't need these.
You don't need these.
Chumps! Chumps! Every single one of them.
Here's my card.
And you tell your dad about me, kiddo! I'm Noah.
I'm in sales.
Hey, say, you like computers? Kids love computers.
Let's get you a computer.
Got to be a big boy.
Got to make big money.
Big boy, big money.
Hey, who's printing out all these pennies? Cut them out! And keep them coming! Hello? Hey, Jeff.
Guess where I'm calling from.
- Uh home? - Nope.
Guess again.
Uh, school? Gosh darn it! You stupid Oh, look! I think that's Mr.
Gurgenson right now! Mr.
Gurgenson, you're on with the foreign investors.
Gosh darn it, you stupid I bet you smell bad.
Get out of here.
Just go away! Just go someplace else! Get out of here! How am I supposed to do business with you?! You're useless! - Mr.
Gurgenson? - All of you are useless! Mr.
Gurgenson, what are you doing? Everyone can hear you! - Jeff? - Mr.
Gurgenson? All these numbers are going down! We're crashing and burning! Glen! Janice! I was just trying to be a big boy.
I don't want to get chopped! That suit looks good on you, kiddo! - We got him.
It's now or never.
- Janice? Your father would like to have a little chat with you.
Nothing to worry about.
Just be a big boy and behave.
Janice! Janice, wait, wait, wait You know what they do with chumps around here? They get chopped! Is that you, son? Come over here, boy.
- Dad? - Super juice me! Underhand, like we practiced.
Right here! Oh, um uh Hyah! Ah, you'll get it eventually.
Been a weird day, son.
First, our creative team decided to paint all their projects brown, Fitz is running around half-naked, and we blew our deal with the foreign investors! I'll be darned if someone doesn't get chopped! It it was an accident! Please, I don't want to get chopped.
Son, I would never fire you.
- You're my son! - I am? And all those people that you met today, they're just sheep.
Chumps! But you're special.
You're gonna take over for me one day and be the next big boss! Now, help your pops burn these documents.
We got to get rid of this paper trail.
- Hup! Hup! - Um Mom always said I wasn't supposed to play with fire, but you're my dad, I guess, so When you make this much money, you can do anything you want, son! Ding dong! And get away with it, too! Freeze! Freeze! Uh Hey, you old lady! You work for me John, Jeremy what?! It's Janice.
I've been working here for over five years undercover, that is.
You're under arrest for business fraud, money laundering, illegal use of manu - NBD! Hands up! - Come on, Fitz! Way to go, Fitz! We're done! Wait a minute.
What's going on? Suit looks good on you, kid.
Bet you didn't know you were bugged the whole time.
Oh, honey comb, that was so smart! Come on, Janice.
Not in front of the guys.
- Hello? - Careful, you maggot! That's a $4,000 suit! I'll eat you! Bag 'em and tag 'em, boys.
NBD out.
Sure is lonely at the top.
Hello, company.
This is an official announcement.
I think I'm done being the big boss.
You know, life sure is weird.
One day, you're eating cereal, and the next day, you're just a big, old boss in a big building.
But what I'm trying to say is, I think I'm gonna go home now.
And here's a little goodbye song.
everyone remembers the good times we had in the brownest town of all, Brown Town the ground is brown and the trees are, too - # and the plants is brown # - Oh.
Brown Town ohhhh, it's Brown Town Welp, that's the end of that.
Oh, geez.
Goalie duty.
What the heck, Clarence? You were gone for like three hours.
The day's almost done, and now everyone's just looking at dumb clouds.
You didn't even bring the ball back, and Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Can we play now? We have the ball.
Hello! Hey, Belson, that cloud kind of looks like you.
What? No, it doesn't.
It's just a stupid cloud.
Why are you guys even You're staring into the sky! Look, I actually bought a ball, and all you guys came, and now we're not even playing! You're all off the team! You're chopped! You hear me?! I can't stand you guys
"Revealing true form! I am a cloud airplane instead.
" "Oh, no! Look out!" Clarence! He can't even do it! Clarence, are you serious? You are the worst goalie ever! Uh, no.
Actually, I saw it go by.
I was just busy.
Ugh! Chumps! Go get it.
Aye, aye, sir! Just a sec here unh! All right! Goalie on duty.
Gonna get the ball.
gonna get the ball There it is! Come back here.
Oh, no! Wow! Oh! That's enough! Oh! I'm sorry.
We weren't expecting you today! I-I thought you were coming by next week.
You can go right in.
I'll let everyone know you're here.
Attention, everyone! I would just like to remind you all that the boss' son is visiting us today.
Let's all show him a good time.
All right, come on, come on! We got to clock in before the boss's kid gets here.
- Come on.
- Oh-ho, what a nightmare.
I don't know who scares me more our boss or his kid.
Well, I heard Gurgenson got him a new pizza, and he got promoted.
Yeah, it's like "bring your kid to work day.
" More like, "bring your brat to eat my lunch day.
" Good one.
There he is.
Ooh! What do we have here? Whoa! Uh As your creator, I christen thee Brown Town.
Playing around with company mail? Uh-oh! Earthquake! I got to give these out now.
What do you say about helpin' old Janice? Choo-choo! Mail train! Coming through! - Thank you.
- Oh! Thanks! Well, we can set you up with a new account.
Uh-huh.
- Mail time! - Ohh! - Here you go.
Here's some letters! - Ohh! And you get the rest! So long, mail angel! Shred it.
Uh-huh.
Can I help? We think with the new streamlined model, you can have even better productivity.
But should we drastically rebrand our entire company? - # Brown Town! # - Brown Town! Huh? Ow! This part this version of Brown Town looks pretty great! Aww! Are those brown windows? Look at these little brown trees! And you even got well, that should be brown.
Hey! The water's supposed to be brown, too.
Well, guys, I think you all made a good effort, but it still needs some work, needs a little more brown.
So you want everything to be brown? Yes Brown Town.
This is gonna cost a lot of money.
Little cub curious about father lion, up in his golden tower? Must be nice.
Boy, no one seems to like this boss guy very much.
Aw, shoot, I would, if you told your ol' pops to give me a raise.
- Okay.
- Wait.
You mean it? A raise?! - C-Could you give me a raise, too? - Hey, kid, here's my card! Huh? H-Hey, kid, could you get me a raise, too? Enough! Stop! - Oof! - Hey, kiddo! You want to wear my suit? Hmm? Hmm? You got to be confident.
That's how you really win.
- Hey, kid, lookin' for your dad? - Oh, uh not actively, no.
Hey, uh, is that really him? - Is that the boss' kid? - Whoa, whoa.
Let me tell you a little something, Joe.
How many sales you close today? Are you in here doing business, doing your best? Or are you out there, pointing fingers? How many sales you close today? Huh? Uh, uh, uh zero! So why don't you take that slimy little finger and point it right back to your desk and make this company some money! You little trash slug.
There's only two kinds of people in this world chumps and big boys.
You want a sandwich, kiddo? You want to be a big boy, right? Don't we all? Hey, does your father know me? I'm Noah.
- Um, who's Mark? - Some chump! - That sandwich for big boys.
- Big boys Give me the sandwich.
If you're not closing a deal, you are a chump! And you know what they do with chumps around here? They get chopped! Here's your sandwich.
Here's some napkins.
You want some coffee? 'Course you do.
Careful.
It's hot.
What is this? No, you don't need these.
You don't need these.
Chumps! Chumps! Every single one of them.
Here's my card.
And you tell your dad about me, kiddo! I'm Noah.
I'm in sales.
Hey, say, you like computers? Kids love computers.
Let's get you a computer.
Got to be a big boy.
Got to make big money.
Big boy, big money.
Hey, who's printing out all these pennies? Cut them out! And keep them coming! Hello? Hey, Jeff.
Guess where I'm calling from.
- Uh home? - Nope.
Guess again.
Uh, school? Gosh darn it! You stupid Oh, look! I think that's Mr.
Gurgenson right now! Mr.
Gurgenson, you're on with the foreign investors.
Gosh darn it, you stupid I bet you smell bad.
Get out of here.
Just go away! Just go someplace else! Get out of here! How am I supposed to do business with you?! You're useless! - Mr.
Gurgenson? - All of you are useless! Mr.
Gurgenson, what are you doing? Everyone can hear you! - Jeff? - Mr.
Gurgenson? All these numbers are going down! We're crashing and burning! Glen! Janice! I was just trying to be a big boy.
I don't want to get chopped! That suit looks good on you, kiddo! - We got him.
It's now or never.
- Janice? Your father would like to have a little chat with you.
Nothing to worry about.
Just be a big boy and behave.
Janice! Janice, wait, wait, wait You know what they do with chumps around here? They get chopped! Is that you, son? Come over here, boy.
- Dad? - Super juice me! Underhand, like we practiced.
Right here! Oh, um uh Hyah! Ah, you'll get it eventually.
Been a weird day, son.
First, our creative team decided to paint all their projects brown, Fitz is running around half-naked, and we blew our deal with the foreign investors! I'll be darned if someone doesn't get chopped! It it was an accident! Please, I don't want to get chopped.
Son, I would never fire you.
- You're my son! - I am? And all those people that you met today, they're just sheep.
Chumps! But you're special.
You're gonna take over for me one day and be the next big boss! Now, help your pops burn these documents.
We got to get rid of this paper trail.
- Hup! Hup! - Um Mom always said I wasn't supposed to play with fire, but you're my dad, I guess, so When you make this much money, you can do anything you want, son! Ding dong! And get away with it, too! Freeze! Freeze! Uh Hey, you old lady! You work for me John, Jeremy what?! It's Janice.
I've been working here for over five years undercover, that is.
You're under arrest for business fraud, money laundering, illegal use of manu - NBD! Hands up! - Come on, Fitz! Way to go, Fitz! We're done! Wait a minute.
What's going on? Suit looks good on you, kid.
Bet you didn't know you were bugged the whole time.
Oh, honey comb, that was so smart! Come on, Janice.
Not in front of the guys.
- Hello? - Careful, you maggot! That's a $4,000 suit! I'll eat you! Bag 'em and tag 'em, boys.
NBD out.
Sure is lonely at the top.
Hello, company.
This is an official announcement.
I think I'm done being the big boss.
You know, life sure is weird.
One day, you're eating cereal, and the next day, you're just a big, old boss in a big building.
But what I'm trying to say is, I think I'm gonna go home now.
And here's a little goodbye song.
everyone remembers the good times we had in the brownest town of all, Brown Town the ground is brown and the trees are, too - # and the plants is brown # - Oh.
Brown Town ohhhh, it's Brown Town Welp, that's the end of that.
Oh, geez.
Goalie duty.
What the heck, Clarence? You were gone for like three hours.
The day's almost done, and now everyone's just looking at dumb clouds.
You didn't even bring the ball back, and Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Can we play now? We have the ball.
Hello! Hey, Belson, that cloud kind of looks like you.
What? No, it doesn't.
It's just a stupid cloud.
Why are you guys even You're staring into the sky! Look, I actually bought a ball, and all you guys came, and now we're not even playing! You're all off the team! You're chopped! You hear me?! I can't stand you guys