Clarence US (2014) s02e23 Episode Script
Jeff's Secret
1 [remote clicks.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Dramatic music plays.]
[Laughing.]
Ooh! Here I go.
[Grunts.]
[Laughs.]
[Grunting.]
Ooh.
Tickles.
[Groans.]
Yah! [Giggles.]
[Both laughing.]
[Slap.]
Hey, Jeff, I bet that I bet that when we take off our feet and we run really fast, we can, like, miss the water and not even get wet.
Uh, that's not gonna work, Clarence.
Nunh-unh.
Watch.
You just got to run really fast.
- Aah! It's in my mouth.
- Then we can make it.
Aah! [Gasps.]
Jeff! Are you okay, buddy? [Coughs.]
[Sighs.]
I told you that wouldn't work.
[Gasps.]
My sock! Clarence, don't look for a second, okay? - What? - I'll be right back.
Stay here.
Just got to change my socks.
Jeff! - You forgot your sandal! - It's fine, Clarence.
- Stop following me.
- Oh, Cinderella! [Door closes.]
Thank you.
Here.
Read this while I change.
Don't come in.
[Gasps.]
Holy cow, look at that thing.
- Hey, hey, Jeff.
- What the Did you know that in this book Clarence, I-I told you not to come in.
[Gasps.]
Jeff, is there something on your foot? Wait a minute.
Two, three, four [Honk!.]
Jeff, you have an extra toe! - What? No, I don't.
- Toe! No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm a normal boy.
- Toe! - Mooooom! [Shivering.]
- Tea? - Uh, no, thanks.
I'm good.
[Slurps.]
Ahem.
Clarence, we brought you here today because we want to tell you something about Jeff.
You see, Jeff is a special boy.
Oh, I know he's special.
I mean, he is my best friend.
[Shivers, slurps.]
Uh, what I mean is, he was born with a little something extra.
An extra toe.
Why didn't you just snip it off when he was born? We can't make that decision for him.
Maybe he would have wanted to keep it later on.
[Sighs.]
Look, Clarence, this should go without saying, but this should stay between us.
- What? So I can't even tell anyone? - No.
- Not even my mom? - No.
- What about Sumo? - No.
- What? Not even Sumo? - No.
- Oh, what about Ms.
Baker? - Nobody, Clarence! Hmm.
Maybe she already knows.
Hey, how come I never noticed this before? [Sighs.]
I can't believe I'm showing you this.
Whoa! Like Jeff says, we'd prefer it if you just kept this to yourself, - okay, Clarence? - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I'm serious, Clarence.
Don't tell anyone about this! - Can you promise me that? - I think so.
Can you promise me, Clarence?! [Clicking tongue.]
It's A-okay.
[Humming.]
Oh, good morning.
Just saying a normal hello to my best friend, Jeffrey.
[Groans.]
Yep.
Nothing out of the ordinary here.
Just a typical school day.
Oh, wow.
Is that Malessica over yonder? - Huh? - Hey, Malessica.
Malessica.
You'll never believe this.
[Pants.]
Okay.
[Whispering indistinctly.]
Hmm.
I'm not really supposed to tell anyone, but yesterday I found a nickel.
That's rich! [Laughs.]
Oh, Mavis, Mavis! I want to tell you something, too.
What did he say? Did he say something about me? Geez, not everything's about you, Jeff.
Oh, my gosh, I'm so worried about [Indistinct conversations.]
Nathan: [Gasps.]
Ooh.
[Laughter.]
[Giggles.]
[Ting!.]
[Groans.]
Oh, yeah, winking is so fun.
- Watch me.
- Cool! Look at me, dude.
[Grunting.]
That's not winking.
That's blinking.
Aww.
My dad's car broke down, and he had to call a tow truck.
A tow truck! Can you believe it? [Sighs.]
Okay.
[Humming.]
[Music.]
[Thinking.]
Okay.
Mm.
I guess everyone's wearing sandals today.
[Clears throat.]
Okay, you guys, guys.
Let's review unique feet in the wild for our nature unit.
Okay, pay attention, 'cause we're gonna take questions at the end.
The orange finn sparrow uses its extra toes to grip branches and stabilize itself.
Psst! Jeff.
Can your toes do that? No, Clarence.
Cut it out! - Well, um, just wondering because - Ms.
Baker: Clarence, no talking! Koalas, too, are known for extra thumbs, distinguishing them from humans.
As I bumble In the jungle [Gasps.]
I mingle [Grunts.]
With the friends I see [Laughs.]
What a merriment, making [ Squawk.]
My menagerie-hee-hee- hee-hee-hee-hee-hee As I walk All right, you guys, who's ready for extra points? Who can name an animal that had an extra toe? [Sproing!.]
Uh, Clarence? - Uh, Clarence? - Clarence! [Heart beating.]
[Music.]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!.]
[Siren rings, coins jingling.]
All right, um [Distorted voice.]
Jeeeeeff.
No, Clarence, Jeff cannot answer for you.
[School bell rings.]
Oh, okay, that's lunch.
Okay, when we come back, uh, we're gonna finish our quiz.
Hey, Jeff, the whole time in the movie, they were talking about toes.
Guess what.
Uh Oh.
Seriously? That was such a close one.
Jeff, I was trying to tell you.
The whole time we were watching the movie, I was just thinking about you - and your toe.
- No, Clarence! You really almost spilled the beans in there.
I asked you to keep one secret one! - And you can't even do that.
- Uh, okay.
- Uh, I just - [Grunts.]
No! Oh, my goodness.
What's going on out here? - Can I call my mom? - Uh, okay, sure.
Woman: Mary, another Clarence emergency.
Clarence, what's wrong? I don't have to bring you a change of pants, do I? No.
I think I got a problem, though.
Um, if my Jeff I mean, my friend has a secret and I'm not supposed to tell it to anyone, but should I tell it anyway if I want? Uh, well, is the secret hurting anybody? Meh? Oh, you just want a trim, right, hon? No.
Um, I just I want to I want to tell it.
Ms.
Baker: Clarence, don't play with that.
Ms.
Baker, don't listen.
[Sighs.]
Mary: Well, I think you should respect their wishes.
You know, it takes time to get to know everyone's got secrets - and that everyone's a little bit different.
- Hmm? Oh, oh.
I'm I'm so sorry about that.
Uh, here.
Uh, free free bleaching on the house.
Hmm.
Hey, Ms.
Baker, can I borrow your sweater? Dang that Clarence.
How many people has he blabbed to? Can I have extra to-ma-toes? Ah, look at this skinny boy.
[Snorts.]
Five little piggies go to market, and here's one extra.
Keep moving, sonny! [Thinking.]
Nobody knows, nobody knows, nobody knows, nobody - Hey, Jeff.
- Greetings, Jeffrey.
[Thinking.]
So weird.
No one's even talking to me today.
Oh, hi, Jeff.
Thank you for sitting with me.
Hey, Jeff.
What's toe-ing on? I just want to eat my lunch like everyone else! It's in my rights! [Crying.]
You're not a freak if no one knows about it.
Yah! [Grunting.]
Get ahold of yourself, Jeff.
This is insane.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Everybody! Look at me! Attention! You deserve to know the truth! [Grunts.]
Whoa.
I've been entrusted with someone's secret a secret about something extra.
- And I'm gonna reveal it right now.
- No, Clarence.
There is one with extra parts among us, and that one is right over - Clarence, no, no.
- here! I've got an extra arm! Hyah.
Thank you for accepting me.
[Indistinct conversations.]
Um, maybe that wasn't good enough for you guys, but I do have this rash over here.
That's a real thing.
And it kind of looks like Texas.
- Okay, Clarence.
That's enough.
- Camden: Guys um, I do have a secret that I'd like to share.
Um, I don't have eyelashes.
- What? - Oh, that's okay.
I guess, uh, everyone's a little bit different.
Wait! I've been really shy about this for a really long time, but I have three nipples! That's not so weird.
I have hair in my ears.
- Sometimes I lie for no reason.
- I've only got one eyebrow.
Oh, my gosh, look at my mouth! Oh, look at me.
Look at what I can do.
See? Check out my tongue! Blaah! I'm so old! [Laughs, snorts.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
- I can't taste anything! - I only eat cheese! - Huh? - My face is swollen.
Actually, I think I'm sick.
[Coughs.]
Well, if you guys like that, get a load of this! [Conversations stop.]
[Children gasp.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
- Well, looks like my work here is done.
- Thank you, Jeff.
Your courage has been an inspiration to me in admitting to the world and myself I'm double-jointed! [Cracking.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
Double-jointed? [Cracking.]
Hey, guys, remember my toe? It has joints, too.
Wow, you guys you guys really think this is cool? Thank you so much! Hey, uh, I also had scabies last year.
[Children chanting "Nathan".]
Don't worry, buddy.
Your freaky toe's still my favorite.
Boop.
[Music.]
- [Laughs.]
Gross.
- Clarence, what is that? Oh, I made my own toe cap.
We're like brothers now.
I'm proud to be your cap brother.
[Sighs.]
I've had this old toe cap for years.
Who knew one day I'd let it go? - Ready! Are you ready, Jeff? - Okay, here it goes.
Bye, little guy.
One two Three! [Laughs.]
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee [Chomping.]
[upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Dramatic music plays.]
[Laughing.]
Ooh! Here I go.
[Grunts.]
[Laughs.]
[Grunting.]
Ooh.
Tickles.
[Groans.]
Yah! [Giggles.]
[Both laughing.]
[Slap.]
Hey, Jeff, I bet that I bet that when we take off our feet and we run really fast, we can, like, miss the water and not even get wet.
Uh, that's not gonna work, Clarence.
Nunh-unh.
Watch.
You just got to run really fast.
- Aah! It's in my mouth.
- Then we can make it.
Aah! [Gasps.]
Jeff! Are you okay, buddy? [Coughs.]
[Sighs.]
I told you that wouldn't work.
[Gasps.]
My sock! Clarence, don't look for a second, okay? - What? - I'll be right back.
Stay here.
Just got to change my socks.
Jeff! - You forgot your sandal! - It's fine, Clarence.
- Stop following me.
- Oh, Cinderella! [Door closes.]
Thank you.
Here.
Read this while I change.
Don't come in.
[Gasps.]
Holy cow, look at that thing.
- Hey, hey, Jeff.
- What the Did you know that in this book Clarence, I-I told you not to come in.
[Gasps.]
Jeff, is there something on your foot? Wait a minute.
Two, three, four [Honk!.]
Jeff, you have an extra toe! - What? No, I don't.
- Toe! No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm a normal boy.
- Toe! - Mooooom! [Shivering.]
- Tea? - Uh, no, thanks.
I'm good.
[Slurps.]
Ahem.
Clarence, we brought you here today because we want to tell you something about Jeff.
You see, Jeff is a special boy.
Oh, I know he's special.
I mean, he is my best friend.
[Shivers, slurps.]
Uh, what I mean is, he was born with a little something extra.
An extra toe.
Why didn't you just snip it off when he was born? We can't make that decision for him.
Maybe he would have wanted to keep it later on.
[Sighs.]
Look, Clarence, this should go without saying, but this should stay between us.
- What? So I can't even tell anyone? - No.
- Not even my mom? - No.
- What about Sumo? - No.
- What? Not even Sumo? - No.
- Oh, what about Ms.
Baker? - Nobody, Clarence! Hmm.
Maybe she already knows.
Hey, how come I never noticed this before? [Sighs.]
I can't believe I'm showing you this.
Whoa! Like Jeff says, we'd prefer it if you just kept this to yourself, - okay, Clarence? - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I'm serious, Clarence.
Don't tell anyone about this! - Can you promise me that? - I think so.
Can you promise me, Clarence?! [Clicking tongue.]
It's A-okay.
[Humming.]
Oh, good morning.
Just saying a normal hello to my best friend, Jeffrey.
[Groans.]
Yep.
Nothing out of the ordinary here.
Just a typical school day.
Oh, wow.
Is that Malessica over yonder? - Huh? - Hey, Malessica.
Malessica.
You'll never believe this.
[Pants.]
Okay.
[Whispering indistinctly.]
Hmm.
I'm not really supposed to tell anyone, but yesterday I found a nickel.
That's rich! [Laughs.]
Oh, Mavis, Mavis! I want to tell you something, too.
What did he say? Did he say something about me? Geez, not everything's about you, Jeff.
Oh, my gosh, I'm so worried about [Indistinct conversations.]
Nathan: [Gasps.]
Ooh.
[Laughter.]
[Giggles.]
[Ting!.]
[Groans.]
Oh, yeah, winking is so fun.
- Watch me.
- Cool! Look at me, dude.
[Grunting.]
That's not winking.
That's blinking.
Aww.
My dad's car broke down, and he had to call a tow truck.
A tow truck! Can you believe it? [Sighs.]
Okay.
[Humming.]
[Music.]
[Thinking.]
Okay.
Mm.
I guess everyone's wearing sandals today.
[Clears throat.]
Okay, you guys, guys.
Let's review unique feet in the wild for our nature unit.
Okay, pay attention, 'cause we're gonna take questions at the end.
The orange finn sparrow uses its extra toes to grip branches and stabilize itself.
Psst! Jeff.
Can your toes do that? No, Clarence.
Cut it out! - Well, um, just wondering because - Ms.
Baker: Clarence, no talking! Koalas, too, are known for extra thumbs, distinguishing them from humans.
As I bumble In the jungle [Gasps.]
I mingle [Grunts.]
With the friends I see [Laughs.]
What a merriment, making [ Squawk.]
My menagerie-hee-hee- hee-hee-hee-hee-hee As I walk All right, you guys, who's ready for extra points? Who can name an animal that had an extra toe? [Sproing!.]
Uh, Clarence? - Uh, Clarence? - Clarence! [Heart beating.]
[Music.]
[Ding! Ding! Ding!.]
[Siren rings, coins jingling.]
All right, um [Distorted voice.]
Jeeeeeff.
No, Clarence, Jeff cannot answer for you.
[School bell rings.]
Oh, okay, that's lunch.
Okay, when we come back, uh, we're gonna finish our quiz.
Hey, Jeff, the whole time in the movie, they were talking about toes.
Guess what.
Uh Oh.
Seriously? That was such a close one.
Jeff, I was trying to tell you.
The whole time we were watching the movie, I was just thinking about you - and your toe.
- No, Clarence! You really almost spilled the beans in there.
I asked you to keep one secret one! - And you can't even do that.
- Uh, okay.
- Uh, I just - [Grunts.]
No! Oh, my goodness.
What's going on out here? - Can I call my mom? - Uh, okay, sure.
Woman: Mary, another Clarence emergency.
Clarence, what's wrong? I don't have to bring you a change of pants, do I? No.
I think I got a problem, though.
Um, if my Jeff I mean, my friend has a secret and I'm not supposed to tell it to anyone, but should I tell it anyway if I want? Uh, well, is the secret hurting anybody? Meh? Oh, you just want a trim, right, hon? No.
Um, I just I want to I want to tell it.
Ms.
Baker: Clarence, don't play with that.
Ms.
Baker, don't listen.
[Sighs.]
Mary: Well, I think you should respect their wishes.
You know, it takes time to get to know everyone's got secrets - and that everyone's a little bit different.
- Hmm? Oh, oh.
I'm I'm so sorry about that.
Uh, here.
Uh, free free bleaching on the house.
Hmm.
Hey, Ms.
Baker, can I borrow your sweater? Dang that Clarence.
How many people has he blabbed to? Can I have extra to-ma-toes? Ah, look at this skinny boy.
[Snorts.]
Five little piggies go to market, and here's one extra.
Keep moving, sonny! [Thinking.]
Nobody knows, nobody knows, nobody knows, nobody - Hey, Jeff.
- Greetings, Jeffrey.
[Thinking.]
So weird.
No one's even talking to me today.
Oh, hi, Jeff.
Thank you for sitting with me.
Hey, Jeff.
What's toe-ing on? I just want to eat my lunch like everyone else! It's in my rights! [Crying.]
You're not a freak if no one knows about it.
Yah! [Grunting.]
Get ahold of yourself, Jeff.
This is insane.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Everybody! Look at me! Attention! You deserve to know the truth! [Grunts.]
Whoa.
I've been entrusted with someone's secret a secret about something extra.
- And I'm gonna reveal it right now.
- No, Clarence.
There is one with extra parts among us, and that one is right over - Clarence, no, no.
- here! I've got an extra arm! Hyah.
Thank you for accepting me.
[Indistinct conversations.]
Um, maybe that wasn't good enough for you guys, but I do have this rash over here.
That's a real thing.
And it kind of looks like Texas.
- Okay, Clarence.
That's enough.
- Camden: Guys um, I do have a secret that I'd like to share.
Um, I don't have eyelashes.
- What? - Oh, that's okay.
I guess, uh, everyone's a little bit different.
Wait! I've been really shy about this for a really long time, but I have three nipples! That's not so weird.
I have hair in my ears.
- Sometimes I lie for no reason.
- I've only got one eyebrow.
Oh, my gosh, look at my mouth! Oh, look at me.
Look at what I can do.
See? Check out my tongue! Blaah! I'm so old! [Laughs, snorts.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
- I can't taste anything! - I only eat cheese! - Huh? - My face is swollen.
Actually, I think I'm sick.
[Coughs.]
Well, if you guys like that, get a load of this! [Conversations stop.]
[Children gasp.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
- Well, looks like my work here is done.
- Thank you, Jeff.
Your courage has been an inspiration to me in admitting to the world and myself I'm double-jointed! [Cracking.]
[Indistinct conversations.]
Double-jointed? [Cracking.]
Hey, guys, remember my toe? It has joints, too.
Wow, you guys you guys really think this is cool? Thank you so much! Hey, uh, I also had scabies last year.
[Children chanting "Nathan".]
Don't worry, buddy.
Your freaky toe's still my favorite.
Boop.
[Music.]
- [Laughs.]
Gross.
- Clarence, what is that? Oh, I made my own toe cap.
We're like brothers now.
I'm proud to be your cap brother.
[Sighs.]
I've had this old toe cap for years.
Who knew one day I'd let it go? - Ready! Are you ready, Jeff? - Okay, here it goes.
Bye, little guy.
One two Three! [Laughs.]
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee [Chomping.]