Clarence US (2014) s03e13 Episode Script
The Boxcurse Children
1 [Remote clicks.]
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Creepy music.]
[Music.]
Aw, darn it.
I thought I had it.
- Nah, man, you were so close! - Really? Yeah! You just got to you know, flick it more.
[Fart.]
You know, move with the rock.
- Like this? - [Laughing.]
Yeah, sure! [Grunts.]
[Clang.]
Huh? - Ha! Sumo, that actually worked! - Cool.
[Chuckling.]
Sumo, if you don't want it, can I have it? Clarence, don't you think you've collected enough garbage today? It's not garbage.
It's presents for all the good little boys and little girls - of the world.
- Okay, Santa.
Guys! Check it out! Whoa.
It's like a magic water lunch box.
I wonder if its full of hot wings.
No, probably a cursed board game or, like, a cursed monkey paw or something.
Whatever it is, it's definitely cursed.
- Really? - Yeah, my brother told me.
Guys, curses aren't real.
[Clanging.]
Aw.
[Grunts.]
Whoa! [Cough and fart!.]
Whoa, cool jewelry can't be cursed, right? Yeah, it's probably fine.
Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Clarence, look! - Ooh, looking handsome! - [Laughing.]
You look awesome.
[Chuckles.]
Yeah, I'm like a robot.
Except I couldn't tell where this piece went.
Hey, Jeff, what did you get from the box? Oh, interesting.
A real blast from the past.
What do we got here? Hm.
- Yeah, those are definitely cursed.
- They are not.
Robo-Clarence will save you, Jeff.
- [Robotically.]
Boop, chop.
- Aah! Clarence! Ugh.
Guys, I told you curses aren't real.
[Bird squawks.]
[Creepy music.]
- Yep, we're cursed.
- No, we are not, Sumo.
It probably just ate some bad berries or something.
- Either way, we should go home.
- Yes, please.
[Bird caw echoing.]
[Meowing, hacking.]
[Burp.]
Yow! [Thud.]
What the? [Hisses.]
Hair ball? [Creepy music.]
Nah.
Hmm.
Well.
[Chuckling.]
A little bit of this, and a little bit of that And we're ready to go Oh, hey, Clarence! Well, don't you look pretty today.
No, you're the pretty one.
Well, thank you.
honey.
[Chuckles.]
But I got to say you look really nice.
Well, thanks, I mean, I did get some new jewelry.
You do have lots and lots of jewelry over yourself.
[Giggles.]
Hey, do you want to watch "My Feline Father" with me? It's about a kid who has a cat-dad.
Oh, you know, I would love to sweetie, but, yeah, I got to finish up dinner.
Hey, why don't you ask Chad? [Snoring.]
[Music.]
[Whispering.]
Hey, Chad.
Chad, it's movie time.
- Come on.
Wake up.
- Huh? [Grunts.]
- Want to watch a movie? - Sure, buddy.
Uh, [chuckles.]
what's with the jewelry? I got it from a box what was floating in the creek.
Don't worry though.
Jeff said it's not cursed.
Man: And now for your feline presentation.
[Gasps, grunting.]
My name is Chister Catsworth.
This is my neighborhood.
And can you believe it? I'm a cat.
And now, I'm so excited for something that will absolutely wow you.
This is, can I just say, probably the Queen of jewelry.
What?! This isn't "My Feline Father.
" Hey, Mom, could you come in here please? - Uh - I just got to ask you something.
Clarence, [sighs.]
what is it? What do you got? It's just a little mix up.
I'm pretty sure the VCR is busted.
Hmm.
Oh, looks like you taped over your movie.
- No, I didn't.
- Uhhh guh [Wolf whistles.]
[Chuckles.]
That's a beaut.
Emerald-esque.
Chad, are you coming to bed or what? Yeah, one sec.
I'll watch this later.
Uh, pshhh, I mean, I didn't do it.
W-Why in the world would I want to tape this? I mean, you should really label your tapes, bud.
[Chuckles nervously.]
[Grumbles.]
[Smoke alarm blares, flames whooshing.]
- [Gasps.]
What? - Oh, my casserole! - Hot, hot, hot, hot! - Nya.
Nya.
Nya.
What happened? Mary: Ugh, looks like the onion rings caught fire.
Onion rings? [Creepy music.]
[Ding!.]
Aah! The curse! I have to go tell the others! So pizza? Oh, come on, Dad.
Will ya talk to me, please? I didn't do anything.
I think it was the curse.
Aw, man, this curse stinks.
Sumo! Sumo! The curse is real! [Sobbing.]
I know.
It made our sewer back up.
We got to tell Jeff.
We got to tell Jeff! We got to tell him.
We got to tell Jeff right now.
Man, things sure were different back then.
A real blast from the past.
I don't eat an apple that way.
E.
J.
: Whoa! [Thud, broken glass.]
[Gasps, panting.]
Are you guys okay? [Chuckling.]
Jeff, hon, uh, your mom and I were just dancing Not doing anything! We're just not doing anything.
We just, uh Oh, whoops! Looks like we knocked a picture frame off the wall.
How weird is that, right? Picture frame? [Creepy music.]
[Panting.]
Honey, you don't have to be - embarrassed about your dancing.
- Yeah, right.
Sure.
It's fine.
Fine.
Jeff, just be logical.
There is no way that was caused by the pic What? What? Where are they?! Oh, how'd you guys fall back there? Oh.
All right.
I got to just[grunting.]
Gotcha.
[Crack.]
Ow.
[Gasps.]
No.
No.
No.
[Creepy music.]
No, it can't.
Jeff! Jeff, I know you, um, said that, uh, the curse isn't real, but it for sure definitely is.
Calm down.
I'll admit there's some weird stuff going on, but everything has a rational Aah! My room has never had bugs! - We are cursed! - What do we do? It's like in that movie "Elf Blood 3: Elves in Paradise.
" The curse wasn't reversed until they jammed the magic coin - back down the elf hole.
- Wait, what? - Elf hole? - We got to put this stuff back.
[Birds cawing.]
[Panting.]
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, cool eye patch, Clarence.
No, it is not cool.
The curse gave me the pink eye.
- Ugh.
- Aah! Clarence, put the patch back on! - Oh, sorry.
- What's up with the feathers? Oh, I slept in the chicken coop last night 'cause I was scared.
And also 'cause it was fun.
But not that fun, 'cause the curse gave me this.
- Dohh! - Blech.
Yes, Clarence, we know.
The things I've been through there really just is no other explanation.
Time to make things right.
Clarence, is that all of it? [Sigh.]
I'll miss you, even if you were cursed.
- Okay, Jeff, your turn.
- Uh, yeah What is the hold up? Oh, it's just well, my hands have been really dry because of the curse, and, well, I just really hate - touching fabric with dry hands.
- Oh, it's okay.
I got 'em.
See ya later, ya dang curse.
C-Clarence, wait.
- Oh, the wind! - Oh.
Oops.
Well you know, maybe the pictures weren't cursed.
[Bird squawks, all shout.]
I cant do this! I cant live with hangnails and bugs and, and, and chronically dry skin.
I-It's j-just not me.
Wait, Jeff.
You may not have to.
I know a special adult that we can always go to in an emergency.
"My Feline Father" recorded over hair in pipes lost pictures.
Yep, you're cursed, all right.
You got to put the stuff, uh, back in there.
Put the stuff back?! We can't.
We lost the photos.
Weren't you listening? Lost photos right.
Clarence, what are we even doing here? Jeffrey, calm down.
Just look at him.
- Your point? - Look at how old he is.
Old people know all about curses and magic and stuff.
That's how they stay old.
And he's really old.
Old people are always experts on this stuff.
Uh, yeah, that's that's true.
[Sniffs.]
Hey, Larry, did you know the curse gave me pink eye? Stop showing us that! [Creepy music.]
Is there anything we can do? - Oh, uh, besides putting it back? - Anything? Hmm.
Well, you could remake those photos.
That's it.
I've heard enough.
[Squawk, thud.]
Aah! That bad, huh? Here.
This here's my good luck box.
- Whoa.
- Wow.
You can use it for them pictures.
- Want to come with us, Clarence? - No, you're cursed.
Uhh, go on, get out.
- He's crazy! - Let's go! Sumo: Stop it, man! [Music.]
The price was high for a treasure so cheap But now we're making memories we're happy to keep Oh, oh, oh It's a gift, it's a curse, it's a blessing Ahhhh Ahhhh I hope this works.
[Grunts.]
Ow.
[Sighs.]
I feel better already.
Hey, is my pink eye gone? - Aah! - Aah! Nope.
Looks worse than ever, man.
Hey, Jeff, you want to wear my eye patch? Uh, no, thanks, Clarence.
- Here, I'll hold him! - Aah! Keep that away from me! [Laughter, all shouting.]
[Chuckles.]
Those fellas sure have fun.
But not as much fun as S.
S.
Camden.
[Pbht!.]
Oh.
What What's that over there? [Creepy music.]
Oh! Whoa! [Squawk.]
[Zap.]
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose
[Upbeat music plays.]
I don't care what you say! I'm gonna do what I want all day! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! I'm the king of the world! [Creepy music.]
[Music.]
Aw, darn it.
I thought I had it.
- Nah, man, you were so close! - Really? Yeah! You just got to you know, flick it more.
[Fart.]
You know, move with the rock.
- Like this? - [Laughing.]
Yeah, sure! [Grunts.]
[Clang.]
Huh? - Ha! Sumo, that actually worked! - Cool.
[Chuckling.]
Sumo, if you don't want it, can I have it? Clarence, don't you think you've collected enough garbage today? It's not garbage.
It's presents for all the good little boys and little girls - of the world.
- Okay, Santa.
Guys! Check it out! Whoa.
It's like a magic water lunch box.
I wonder if its full of hot wings.
No, probably a cursed board game or, like, a cursed monkey paw or something.
Whatever it is, it's definitely cursed.
- Really? - Yeah, my brother told me.
Guys, curses aren't real.
[Clanging.]
Aw.
[Grunts.]
Whoa! [Cough and fart!.]
Whoa, cool jewelry can't be cursed, right? Yeah, it's probably fine.
Oh, yeah! Now we're talking! Clarence, look! - Ooh, looking handsome! - [Laughing.]
You look awesome.
[Chuckles.]
Yeah, I'm like a robot.
Except I couldn't tell where this piece went.
Hey, Jeff, what did you get from the box? Oh, interesting.
A real blast from the past.
What do we got here? Hm.
- Yeah, those are definitely cursed.
- They are not.
Robo-Clarence will save you, Jeff.
- [Robotically.]
Boop, chop.
- Aah! Clarence! Ugh.
Guys, I told you curses aren't real.
[Bird squawks.]
[Creepy music.]
- Yep, we're cursed.
- No, we are not, Sumo.
It probably just ate some bad berries or something.
- Either way, we should go home.
- Yes, please.
[Bird caw echoing.]
[Meowing, hacking.]
[Burp.]
Yow! [Thud.]
What the? [Hisses.]
Hair ball? [Creepy music.]
Nah.
Hmm.
Well.
[Chuckling.]
A little bit of this, and a little bit of that And we're ready to go Oh, hey, Clarence! Well, don't you look pretty today.
No, you're the pretty one.
Well, thank you.
honey.
[Chuckles.]
But I got to say you look really nice.
Well, thanks, I mean, I did get some new jewelry.
You do have lots and lots of jewelry over yourself.
[Giggles.]
Hey, do you want to watch "My Feline Father" with me? It's about a kid who has a cat-dad.
Oh, you know, I would love to sweetie, but, yeah, I got to finish up dinner.
Hey, why don't you ask Chad? [Snoring.]
[Music.]
[Whispering.]
Hey, Chad.
Chad, it's movie time.
- Come on.
Wake up.
- Huh? [Grunts.]
- Want to watch a movie? - Sure, buddy.
Uh, [chuckles.]
what's with the jewelry? I got it from a box what was floating in the creek.
Don't worry though.
Jeff said it's not cursed.
Man: And now for your feline presentation.
[Gasps, grunting.]
My name is Chister Catsworth.
This is my neighborhood.
And can you believe it? I'm a cat.
And now, I'm so excited for something that will absolutely wow you.
This is, can I just say, probably the Queen of jewelry.
What?! This isn't "My Feline Father.
" Hey, Mom, could you come in here please? - Uh - I just got to ask you something.
Clarence, [sighs.]
what is it? What do you got? It's just a little mix up.
I'm pretty sure the VCR is busted.
Hmm.
Oh, looks like you taped over your movie.
- No, I didn't.
- Uhhh guh [Wolf whistles.]
[Chuckles.]
That's a beaut.
Emerald-esque.
Chad, are you coming to bed or what? Yeah, one sec.
I'll watch this later.
Uh, pshhh, I mean, I didn't do it.
W-Why in the world would I want to tape this? I mean, you should really label your tapes, bud.
[Chuckles nervously.]
[Grumbles.]
[Smoke alarm blares, flames whooshing.]
- [Gasps.]
What? - Oh, my casserole! - Hot, hot, hot, hot! - Nya.
Nya.
Nya.
What happened? Mary: Ugh, looks like the onion rings caught fire.
Onion rings? [Creepy music.]
[Ding!.]
Aah! The curse! I have to go tell the others! So pizza? Oh, come on, Dad.
Will ya talk to me, please? I didn't do anything.
I think it was the curse.
Aw, man, this curse stinks.
Sumo! Sumo! The curse is real! [Sobbing.]
I know.
It made our sewer back up.
We got to tell Jeff.
We got to tell Jeff! We got to tell him.
We got to tell Jeff right now.
Man, things sure were different back then.
A real blast from the past.
I don't eat an apple that way.
E.
J.
: Whoa! [Thud, broken glass.]
[Gasps, panting.]
Are you guys okay? [Chuckling.]
Jeff, hon, uh, your mom and I were just dancing Not doing anything! We're just not doing anything.
We just, uh Oh, whoops! Looks like we knocked a picture frame off the wall.
How weird is that, right? Picture frame? [Creepy music.]
[Panting.]
Honey, you don't have to be - embarrassed about your dancing.
- Yeah, right.
Sure.
It's fine.
Fine.
Jeff, just be logical.
There is no way that was caused by the pic What? What? Where are they?! Oh, how'd you guys fall back there? Oh.
All right.
I got to just[grunting.]
Gotcha.
[Crack.]
Ow.
[Gasps.]
No.
No.
No.
[Creepy music.]
No, it can't.
Jeff! Jeff, I know you, um, said that, uh, the curse isn't real, but it for sure definitely is.
Calm down.
I'll admit there's some weird stuff going on, but everything has a rational Aah! My room has never had bugs! - We are cursed! - What do we do? It's like in that movie "Elf Blood 3: Elves in Paradise.
" The curse wasn't reversed until they jammed the magic coin - back down the elf hole.
- Wait, what? - Elf hole? - We got to put this stuff back.
[Birds cawing.]
[Panting.]
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, cool eye patch, Clarence.
No, it is not cool.
The curse gave me the pink eye.
- Ugh.
- Aah! Clarence, put the patch back on! - Oh, sorry.
- What's up with the feathers? Oh, I slept in the chicken coop last night 'cause I was scared.
And also 'cause it was fun.
But not that fun, 'cause the curse gave me this.
- Dohh! - Blech.
Yes, Clarence, we know.
The things I've been through there really just is no other explanation.
Time to make things right.
Clarence, is that all of it? [Sigh.]
I'll miss you, even if you were cursed.
- Okay, Jeff, your turn.
- Uh, yeah What is the hold up? Oh, it's just well, my hands have been really dry because of the curse, and, well, I just really hate - touching fabric with dry hands.
- Oh, it's okay.
I got 'em.
See ya later, ya dang curse.
C-Clarence, wait.
- Oh, the wind! - Oh.
Oops.
Well you know, maybe the pictures weren't cursed.
[Bird squawks, all shout.]
I cant do this! I cant live with hangnails and bugs and, and, and chronically dry skin.
I-It's j-just not me.
Wait, Jeff.
You may not have to.
I know a special adult that we can always go to in an emergency.
"My Feline Father" recorded over hair in pipes lost pictures.
Yep, you're cursed, all right.
You got to put the stuff, uh, back in there.
Put the stuff back?! We can't.
We lost the photos.
Weren't you listening? Lost photos right.
Clarence, what are we even doing here? Jeffrey, calm down.
Just look at him.
- Your point? - Look at how old he is.
Old people know all about curses and magic and stuff.
That's how they stay old.
And he's really old.
Old people are always experts on this stuff.
Uh, yeah, that's that's true.
[Sniffs.]
Hey, Larry, did you know the curse gave me pink eye? Stop showing us that! [Creepy music.]
Is there anything we can do? - Oh, uh, besides putting it back? - Anything? Hmm.
Well, you could remake those photos.
That's it.
I've heard enough.
[Squawk, thud.]
Aah! That bad, huh? Here.
This here's my good luck box.
- Whoa.
- Wow.
You can use it for them pictures.
- Want to come with us, Clarence? - No, you're cursed.
Uhh, go on, get out.
- He's crazy! - Let's go! Sumo: Stop it, man! [Music.]
The price was high for a treasure so cheap But now we're making memories we're happy to keep Oh, oh, oh It's a gift, it's a curse, it's a blessing Ahhhh Ahhhh I hope this works.
[Grunts.]
Ow.
[Sighs.]
I feel better already.
Hey, is my pink eye gone? - Aah! - Aah! Nope.
Looks worse than ever, man.
Hey, Jeff, you want to wear my eye patch? Uh, no, thanks, Clarence.
- Here, I'll hold him! - Aah! Keep that away from me! [Laughter, all shouting.]
[Chuckles.]
Those fellas sure have fun.
But not as much fun as S.
S.
Camden.
[Pbht!.]
Oh.
What What's that over there? [Creepy music.]
Oh! Whoa! [Squawk.]
[Zap.]
Early to bed Early to rise Picking my nose