Clark (2022) s01e02 Episode Script

I Automatically Do Everything Opposite the Rest of the World

Surely nobody gets better by being in jail? Do you think the prisoners have a good life? No, I don't think so, because, uh it's always difficult for a human being to be in prison, to not be free.
BASED ON TRUTHS AND LIES When I was a kid, we used to read comics and so on.
They had crooks wearing striped clothing, and, uh, bearded faces.
They looked looked really evil.
They looked horrible.
You got scared of them.
Do you think they look like that? - No.
- No.
They look like ordinary people, yeah.
What's it like in here? Well, it's not much fun.
I can tell you that.
It's pretty empty.
There's nothing to do.
Do you get better by being in here? - You don't, right? - No, absolut You have to be a certain type of person to handle prison life.
Most people go mad, but not me.
I've never had a problem with being in prison.
As a matter of fact, I love it.
But it's freakin' boring.
I was used to having a bit more action in my life.
My career had already gotten off to a great start, plus I was already a celebrity.
Sweden's favorite gangster.
A young and handsome rebel.
The scourge of society and the police, your average Joe's nightmare, and his daughter's hot fantasy.
So now they were gonna keep me behind bars for eight goddamn years.
Like hell they were! Well, hello there.
ÖSTERÅKER PRISON, 1967 No, dammit.
I had to get out, and fast as hell.
Escaping is fun.
It's become my favorite sport.
I have escaped 17 times.
That must be some kind of world record.
But it isn't as easy as one might think.
Stop him! Goddamn piece of shit! And if you screw up, you end up in isolation.
They say that only religious people and boneheads can stand isolation, and I'm definitely not religious, but I may be a bonehead.
THUS SPOKE ZARATHUSTRA So I started reading a lot of books about life, the universe and all that shit.
But time flies when you're having fun, and then, one day, it's finally over.
Olofsson, isolation is over.
And you have a visitor.
So sometimes you have to use a little more creative and unconventional methods to escape.
Uh, I was thinking Do you want to marry me? What did you say? Clark, did you say what I think you said? How the hell should I know what you think I said? - I said, "Do you want to marry me?" - What? Are you serious right now? Yeah.
Hell, it's a it's a long shot but, uh I got the idea when I was in isolation.
Oh, Clark I think it will work out great, with wedding banns and all that.
- Could you make it happen? - Yes, Clark! - It's Of course I want to marry you.
- Cool.
I love you.
- Yeah.
- Then it's settled.
We have some minutes left.
Do you want me to, uh finish off down there? - Uh Yes, please.
- All right.
I'll dive right in.
I can't wait to tell my mom.
- What the hell? - She'll be so happy.
For Christ's sake, Clark.
What the hell are you doing marrying my daughter? Oh, come on! It doesn't mean that I don't love you too Momma.
Don't you dare address me like that again.
Okay, sorry Mommy.
Oh, God.
My God.
What a lovely dress.
Madou's entire family came to celebrate the engagement.
It had to be a real fancy event, with cake and champagne, shrimps in aspic, and Russian caviar.
You know, those black fish babies.
Damn tasty.
- Oh! - Mom.
Oh! - Where is the groom? - On his way.
I got a day release so I could attend the banns.
And I have to admit that I was a bit excited.
It all felt so right.
It was the beginning of a lifelong love affair.
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
My little girl, you're all grown up.
Oh, yeah.
Time for the wedding banns, Olofsson.
But obviously not the love that Madou and all the others were thinking about.
I mean, of course, my lifelong love affair with freedom.
SPAIN Ha! You didn't think I'd get married, did you? Hell no.
I took the chance and got myself some well-deserved vacation instead.
Gracias very much.
He's lying to you.
Who do you think he is? Honey, dear, come in already.
Shut up! He's coming! But he's not coming.
He never intended to.
Surely you understand that? He will! You don't know him! No.
Neither do you.
I do know him! - And I know that he loves me.
- Oh, really? You are just jealous and bitter because you know you could never have him! Well, I already had him! My little darling, that's what I'm trying to tell you.
He's lying about everything.
Come inside, now! - Uh, one drink, for me.
- Sí.
All right, there you go, sir.
Oh! What is in this? - It's Bacardi Coke.
- Hell of a drink.
Yee-haw! You and me, on the dance floor.
Tonight! "La Bamba.
" You and me! Ha! Yah! CLARK IN FIERY DANCE WITH MEDITERRANEAN BEAUTY I can do one more.
Hello there, Clark.
Good morning.
I'm hungry.
Don't you worry.
I will get my angel some breakfast.
- Mm.
- Stay right here.
Clark Yes? - You're still naked.
- So I am.
You, uh stay right here.
- I'll be, uh right back.
- Mm-hm.
Damn she was fine.
And life on the run was perfect.
But, unfortunately, some damn tourists had recognized me and taken the chance to make some money by selling photos of me to some gossip magazine.
And, of course, he saw the photos.
Tommy Lindström.
You know, that damn cop.
No, dammit.
Not you.
Nice and easy, now.
And don't you dare make a scene.
Just follow me to the car, okay? Stop, Clark! Come on! Now! Clark! Clark! Goddamn it! Stop! Clark! Goddamn it! Stop! Stop, Clark! - Case closed! - Let me go! I have a branch up my ass! Not again.
Well, Olofsson, your vacation was a bit shorter Clark! Goddamn it, Clark! Damn! It was just a joke.
- Help me.
- Damn, you're really wet.
- Ursula, remember me! - Damn it! Damn it! TIDAHOLM MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON Last set.
Back to the hotel.
But this time, maybe Sweden's most difficult to escape from, and I didn't have the slightest idea how to get out.
Could it get any worse? Oh, yes.
They forced us to watch a bunch of political hippie crap.
Misery, death.
Red one day.
It's weak.
Now, you have to remember, it was the end of the '60s.
The whole damn hippie thing, the left wave and all that was blooming.
Everything was political.
Music was politics, theater was politics, art was politics.
Would have been better if these were naked.
Yeah, everything had to have a damn political message.
They force-fed us a load of politics that not one single prisoner in all of Sweden cared about.
But then, suddenly, there she was.
I know that I say that I keep falling in love all the time, but this time was something really special.
Great! Good stuff.
Damn, you guys were great.
Especially you.
You are very talented.
Thank you.
Maria, you're not allowed to talk to them.
You have no idea what he has done.
He's a human being, just like you and me.
Don't judge him before you know what he's been through.
- I, for one, am not gonna do that.
- Well, suit yourself.
- Did you really think so? - Yeah, really.
Your body I mean, you really have it under control.
It's important that someone has the courage to depict the truth, right? - Crush the imperialism! - Yeah.
Crush that crap.
Well, as soon as I saw you on the stage "That one, she's damn special.
" That's sweet of you to say.
I'm Maria, by the way.
Clark Olofsson.
Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.
- Olofsson! Well, duty calls.
Nice to meet you, Maria.
No, I never get depressed.
No, I really don't hate anyone.
Well, especially not women.
If anything, I would say that I prefer them.
I have been saved by women so many times in my life.
GOTHENBURG Early on, my mom taught me how to escape and get away for a while.
Shh! He didn't see us.
And that has come in handy my entire life.
We tricked him.
Where the hell Mm.
So, yeah, I love everyone.
Especially women.
But do you love what they say as well? What they feel? What they think? Yeah, of course I do.
- Oh.
- That's what I just said.
- Yeah, of course.
- Right? Yeah.
And you You're not just smart.
You're good-looking too.
As I said, everything was political.
Correctional treatments were politics, sex was politics, and humping a criminal was a political standpoint.
Rehabilitation is impossible within the confines of the penal system.
Yeah, I-I agree.
You know I love you.
- Have you read Foucault? - Yeah, absolutely.
Super stuff.
Society has done all it can to crush you, but you have persevered.
Have I told you that I love you? Gramsci says, "The status quo of society is based on a class structure where the criminals form the working class.
" - But you have no voice.
- Huh? How can you make yourself heard without a voice? A human being can only be truly free when it has liberty.
With a strong voice, you can achieve anything you want, Clark.
I started seeing this girl, Maria.
Anything, Clark.
She was damn smart.
Anything She made me realize that if I just became a real pain in the ass, I wouldn't have to break out.
You're a genius, Maria.
You know that, right? They would freakin' throw me out.
Five minutes left.
We've got time.
Finally I had a plan.
I'd show the bastards.
All right, playtime's over.
From now on, I'm your new editor-in-chief.
Any questions? Didn't think so.
Okay, get to work.
We got shitloads to do.
INHUMANE PRISONS HEAR OUR VOICES EDITOR-IN-CHIEF I got the tired prisoners of The Concrete Journal cracking.
What do you think? But, of course, they needed my guidance.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You got to punch it up, dammit! "Kumla, a Swedish Auschwitz.
Sieg heil, Olof Palme!" Write that Hitler invented prisons.
A damn Nazi system.
- That'll be perfect.
- Okay.
Go on.
Every single inmate read my journal, and it was easy to get them to complain about just any bullshit.
PRISON WARDEN And the more they complained, the worse it got for the bosses.
- Howdy, warden.
- Yeah? I hereby submit a list of 39 improvements that we inmates at Tidaholm demand.
Tell Palme to fix this now.
Or else Well, you know stuff's gonna happen.
Bye, now.
So, thanks to me, all the whining spread like herpes all over Sweden.
Österåker, Norrköping, Kalmar.
Every damn prison in Sweden.
Suddenly, everybody had an opinion and something to say.
Society They're murdering us in here.
Well, if you have the sun shining outside, it should be our right to have a fucking day release.
My balls are working like crazy and we can't screw, either.
Most of the robbers and those who are imprisoned here are actually pretty decent people.
The government has stolen all my money.
He's like Hitler.
I mean Palme.
Why lock decent people up, right? There's no logic behind it.
I've heard that your balls can explode.
It's freakin' dangerous.
Damn shit system.
Yeah, and they turn the TV off at eight o'clock! And their voices We don't get to see Söderkåkar.
were my voice.
You should take advantage of the media.
They need you as much as you need them.
That's why you have to make sure to get paid for interviews and photos.
They pay for that kind of stuff.
You will get taken more seriously.
You can get your message out there all over Sweden.
Maybe even Europe.
You're fucking incredible, you know that? I mean, how can you be so beautiful and smart at the same time? Hey Have you ever heard of hunger strikes? Yeah, sure.
- Listen up, guys! - Oh, Clark.
We have to unite to, uh, fight the system.
Ah, good.
Everybody, Clark has something to say.
We've got to do everything we damn can, right? We have to show those damn bastards that we mean business! Yes! Down with the system! That we are ready to do whatever it goddamn takes to get our demands! Damn right, Clark.
Gentlemen, don't ask yourself what you can do for yourself Uh-huh.
but ask yourself what you can do for me.
Huh? - O-or for you.
- Oh, okay.
Or something like that.
Whatever! That's why I have decided that every single inmate in Sweden will unite in a hunger strike! Oh.
Not gonna agree to that.
That sounds like a pain in the ass.
We're sure as hell not eating this.
Hunger strike! CLARK OLOFSSON GOES ON HUNGER STRIKE CLARK RALLIES 2,500 CONVICTS - Eat, goddamn it! - You can't force us.
A hunger strike spreads to all prisons in the whole country.
The correctional treatment system suffers and criticism is directed towards the government, where people demand leaders take responsibility.
No decisions have been made regarding Clark Olofsson.
PALME WON'T BUDGE - Time to eat, you bastard! - Open up, goddamn it! Otherwise you'll starve to death.
THE AUTHORITIES My principle has always been to protect life.
We mean business! All of Sweden! I said that I love you.
- Swallow! - Tell Palme to go to hell! ONE PRISONER DEAD And now, here's the latest news updates.
It's reported that one prisoner has died as a result of But, Clark, are you really supposed to eat when you're on a hunger strike? Yeah.
Of course.
I have to.
I've got to lead this entire revolution.
I need energy.
- Right.
- It all depends on me.
You know best, my boy.
I've brought you some bread as well.
You're doing so well, Clark.
I'm so proud of you.
Yeah, yeah, I cheated a bit with the food.
But I had to be at the top of my game.
Who the hell cares? It is what it is.
Things don't always have to be what they seem.
Like that time under the table, for example.
My arm was broken.
It was an accident.
And it hurt like hell.
We'll take care of that.
You're such a good boy.
My old man did everything to the max.
Dammit! Come on.
Try to take the ball from me, huh? Try to take it! One hundred percent.
Can't you even play soccer, huh? Okay, here you go! It was that kind of shit that happened.
What the hell are you doing, huh? Come on, get up.
Huh? You play like an old Look.
I brought you some blood pudding as well.
Your favorite.
Thanks, Mom.
You see, this food strike situation is worrying, to say the least.
People think that we, the penal system, are murderers and bastards.
You there.
This Olofsson, how dangerous is he really? You have to take things seriously when it comes to Olofsson.
There is I've met the man and he seems to be particularly intelligent and well-spoken, if you ask me.
You have to see how serious things are when it comes to Clark Olofsson.
- There is nothing good in anything - Mm.
What do you think? Well, I feel that my treatment of Mr.
Olofsson isn't quite finished.
So I would like him to stay a bit longer.
What the hell are you? "Treatment"? Look, here's the deal.
Clark Olofsson is a narcissist and a psychopath, and he won't do a thing for anyone except himself.
But you're wrong.
My analysis shows a very nice and caring person with a lot of potential.
He has a plan with everything he does, and if you let him keep up this little revolution, it will come back and hit you twice as hard, I promise you.
But I have to do something.
Palme's had enough of this crap, so this is what we're gonna do.
Clark gets what he wants.
This is a terrible idea.
PALME GIVES IN CLARK WINS THE STUDY YARD UPPSALA 1972 Of course, all my demands were accepted and things became a thousand times better for all the inmates in Sweden, including myself.
Thanks a lot.
Look, it's Clark.
I was transferred to something they called Studiegården.
To call that a prison was a joke.
It was more like a summer camp.
- Get something to eat.
- You're amazing.
And now I got all the day releases I wanted, so now I could see my beloved Madou.
No, hang on Maria.
I meant Maria, of course.
This is great.
Sure, Studiegården is better, but it's still unfair, Clark.
- Yeah.
- No human being should be locked up.
There's nothing that can grow in captivity.
It just breeds hate.
That cloud kind of looks like a pussy.
- You think so? - Yeah.
I think it looks like a a sailboat that's sailing away into the great unknown, towards freedom.
It was time to tell Maria about my plans for the future.
I wasn't sure how she would react.
I'm longing for the day that you're a free man.
But I don't know if I can wait that long.
And it's like you say.
- Nothing can grow in captivity.
- Mm.
Dammit, we believe in freedom, you and me.
Yeah, but I mean, where would we even go? A seed has to root itself I know the perfect place for people like us.
Beautiful and tolerant.
Understanding and forgiving.
Just like you, Maria.
Well, I'm I'm gonna go, no matter what.
Before this goddamn system crushes me.
And I want you to join me.
We can start over.
Just you and me.
What do you say? - Is that a yes? - Yes.
- Did you say Beirut? - Yeah, exactly.
"The Paris of the Middle East" they call it.
I love you.
Ha! That was the most advanced escape I've ever done.
Everything from The Concrete Journal, to the hunger strike, politics, banging psychologists, persuading Maria and all that shit.
And I could never have done it without her.
Come on, honey.
Freedom awaits.
Finally, I could live life again, and we decided to drive all the way down to Beirut.
Next stop, Beirut! Maybe these guys.
What the hell?! Yes! I know that guy.
It's Kaj-Robert! Clark! Freakin' Kaj-Robert! - Clark.
- Yeah, you're damn right it is.
Oh, no.
Maria! This is Kaj-Robert, one of my oldest, best buddies.
He isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but we've had a lot of freakin' fun.
Right, Kajan? Very much so.
Let's go, Kajan! Whoo! Yeah, w-we we've had a lot we've had a lot of fun, you and me.
Imagine seeing you here, you old rascal.
- Yeah.
- Where are you going? - No, no.
I-I haven't decided yet.
- No? I might just hitchhike around a bit.
And I was thinking maybe going in the other direction instead, so I - What does your sign say? - Uh - Hamburg.
- Hamburg.
- Well, that's that way.
- Yeah.
- Hamburg.
- Hamburg.
Well, aren't you the lucky one.
We're going to Hamburg with Kajan.
It's gonna be great.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I-I don't want to be a burden for you guys.
You won't be a burden.
You're like family, Kajan.
Jump in.
Kaj-Robert! Kajan, let's go, dammit! Ooh! So So, what do you do for a living, Maria? - Social - Kaj-Robert, you horny old bastard.
Maria is mine.
She's off-limits.
Damn, it's great to see you.
Kajan, as I remember it, you had some trouble with the ladies.
You're not still a virgin, right? It Shh.
That's terrible, Kajan.
- But don't you worry.
- No I'll sort that out for you, once we reach Hamburg.
Let's lose that damn virginity, once and for all! - Cheers, goddamn it! - Cheers.
Life at its best.
Ah! Ah! I said, "Life at its best," dammit.
Bottoms up.
Here, I'll show you.
Tonight, we're gonna have fun.
- Huh? - Wow.
Not bad, huh? No, it's all good.
But you got to keep it close.
You can't trust anyone nowadays.
There are thieves everywhere.
- Cheers! - Hi there.
- Dumb Swede.
- Let's have another round.
It's on me.
Not for me.
I'm fine.
You know what? I'm fine too, actually.
I-I was thinking about going south in the morning Dammit! Come on, Kajan.
One more would be nice.
You are gonna lose your virginity.
- Let's have one more.
- I promised you.
And I always keep my promises.
Right, darling? Hey.
Maybe we could go back to the hotel, you and me? Get some rest before we continue to Beirut.
The sheets are calling, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, sure.
I understand completely.
Honey, you are tired.
You head back to the hotel.
Meanwhile, I'm gonna find someone for my man Kajan to hide his salami in.
- Sweet dreams, honey.
Come on.
- Clark - That's not necessary.
- Come on, you little monkey.
Two Bacardi Coke, please.
Have a seat.
The Clark is buying.
All right, Kajan.
Now, there will be shagging aplenty.
- Cheers! - Cheers.
I know you have it in you, Kajan.
There you go! - Have you met my friend? - Hey.
He wants to, uh, lose his virginity.
Something for you, Kajan.
What do you think? You look so good.
Dork express! Dammit, Kajan! Bottoms up! ♪ So, did you see my friend? Two Two more! There he is! How the hell did he get in there? - Cute.
- How much? I got in! Yee-haw! - Get out of here! Come on! - Get off me! Clark.
What is your name? There's a bar here.
Have you fucked in German before? - No.
- Try it! Yeah! Holy shit, Kajan! Come on, let go! Holy shit, Kajan! - You want my wife.
- My wife.
Your wife.
Very good.
Kajan, forget about me! Go start banging! - Dumb Swede! - You better watch it! Oh, my God.
What the hell is this? "Good morning.
I went for a walk so you could sleep.
It looked like you needed it.
" Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
Goddamn it.
Kajan? - Good morning.
- Good morning? Kajan! Open the door, dammit! Good morning.
Uh, good morning.
Uh Is Kaj-Robert in here with you? I don't understand you, but give my best to your friend.
It was an unforgettable night.
- See you! - Kajan Wake up, goddamn it.
Wake up! - Where's the damn money? - What? What? Damn it! Tell me that you've got it! Uh Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you got it.
Oh, damn.
What a relief.
I thought we'd burned it all on booze and shit.
- What a freakin' night.
- No.
No, no.
No, I-I don't have the money.
B-but you had it in that bag.
The fanny pack.
But, hey, I lost my virginity yesterday.
I've, uh had sex.
I'm in love, Clark.
I'm in love.
- Your virginity? - Yeah.
We were like Is that all you're thinking about? Yeah.
It was just - When all of my money is gone? - amazing.
Yeah, right.
That's You're so fucking selfish.
How am I now gonna get to Beirut with Maria? Any ideas? Oh, damn.
I don't know.
Well you have to solve this problem, Kajan.
Should I solve it? - Yeah.
- But I've got no money.
This is all your fault.
But I didn't I paid for everything and organized your little sex party.
But I could be really nice and help you out.
We're gonna rob a bank.
Get up! We got loads to do.
- No.
- Hell yeah! No.
- Oh, come on, Kajan! Goddamn it.
- No.
- Huh? You got laid so you should be happy.
- Mm.
It's gonna be fun.
Just like the good old times.
- Here you go.
- Mm.
What was his name, by the way? - His? - Yeah.
Who the hell cares these days? We met at the door.
Wonderful human being.
I've got to take a shower.
I'll be back in half an hour.
Sex King.
- I'm so freakin' mad, Clark! - What have I done this time? CLARK OLOFSSON - ON THE RUN It's so goddamn unfair! They're making you out to be some hopeless, incurable gangster, when, in fact, you've left all that behind and just want to be free like everyone else.
Well yeah, no, it is so damn unfair.
So here's what I've done, and I know that you're gonna like this.
I've spoken to Kvällsöppet.
- Have you? - Yes.
- The TV show? - Yeah.
I knew you'd like that.
We have to make sure people see that you are the victim here.
And they have a correspondent who's gonna come here for an interview, so we'll have to postpone the trip for a day.
Yeah, that'll be perfect.
Of course we'll do that.
This is important.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow.
- Oh.
My G What happened last night? Huh? No, I-I Well, I I tripped.
Yeah, like a freakin' clown.
Like, bang, straight down into the curb.
Hey, but at least Kajan got laid, so it was worth it.
He's been waiting for so long.
Yeah, finally.
The poor guy.
Oh, by the way I got you a present.
Check it out.
- I thought it was kind of funny.
- Lovely.
- You're welcome.
- You shouldn't have.
- Come on.
- Thanks.
Time to get to work.
- Gentlemen.
- Perfect.
Uh Good.
There, that should be enough.
- This will be great, right? - You don't think You don't think they're too big? It would have been enough with a pistol.
Less is more, Clark.
Ah! More is more.
That goes without saying.
Just relax, Kajan.
You're ruining all the fun.
Hmm? Who the hell's knocking on the door? Clark? Are you in there? Yeah, honey.
I'll be right out.
We're screwed.
- Hi! - Hi.
- So, what are you two doing? - We haven't done anything.
Uh I think Kaj-Robert has got, uh, crabs.
Good to know.
Clark, this is Bosse from Kvällsöppet.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hey there.
- Clark, thank you for doing this.
- Sure thing.
No problem.
This is Dieter and Wolfgang.
Heil there.
Well, uh, maybe we should set up in here.
Yeah, sure.
Go ahead.
All right, guys.
Uh, let's set up by the window.
This is perfect.
So glad you got lucky, Kajan.
- Clark, there.
- On the couch? Yeah.
Maybe you could put the light there.
Okay, guys.
Let's get going, shall we? Yeah.
Are you boys ready? Okay.
Clark interview.
Take one.
Good evening.
In tonight's program, we are going to meet one of Sweden's most famous, or, should I say, infamous citizens.
He is currently hiding at a secret location, on the run from a long prison sentence in Sweden.
Ladies and gentlemen, Clark Olofsson.
- Welcome.
- Thank you very much.
- You feeling all right? - Yeah, good.
- Uh, this prison sentence - Yeah? It's a sentence you feel should be quashed because you've been rehabilitated, you say.
Yeah, I'm done with all of that crap.
What made you change so drastically? Well, as soon as I got away from the Swedish so-called "penal system," it was as if a switch flipped inside my head.
What the hell are you doing? And I turned into the person you see here today.
- An ordinary law-abiding citizen.
- Wonderful.
This is a robbery! You German bastards.
Get the money.
What are you doing? Jump over the counter.
Ooh, Clark We're humane in Sweden, right? Swedish inmates are treated well compared to other countries.
Yeah, that's what they want everybody to think.
I mean, is it really humane to treat people like animals? Go for the safe! - You have to ask her for the key.
- You, open up with the key! And come on.
How is anybody gonna become a better person by being locked up? I'm a robber! And when all your rights are taken from you? You put them in the bag! - Kajan.
- You put them in.
- Put them in the bag now! - Kajan, you have to give her the bag.
Here's the bag.
Well, it's like I always say.
Nothing can grow in captivity.
Sounds wise.
Give me the money.
I'm a robber! Ah! Just go around.
And you are here with Maria.
- And she's your fiancée? - That is correct.
Maria, have a seat.
- Honey, come here.
- Join the interview.
Here's Maria.
Here she is.
Pretty, huh? So, do you have any plans for the future? Well, we're gonna live a typical family life.
That's all I want to do now, live a normal life.
A law-abiding life.
"My boyfriend went to Hamburg"? At a secret location.
What the hell? Maybe a Clark Junior soon? Well, you do look lovely together.
Thank you so much.
That was all for this week.
See us again Stupid moron! Drive! Welcome, Mr.
Yes, I know.
I said a lot of bullshit on TV, and I got them all to believe every single word.
Ladies, ladies, this is Kaj-Robert.
We just, uh, robbed a bank.
But like I always say And, uh, shots for the entire bar! things aren't always what they seem.
He didn't see us.
Like that time when me and my mom hid under the table.
Take the damn ball from your old man, huh? Huh? Take it! Come on, take it.
- Dammit! - Daddy, you fell.
Not so funny anymore, huh? Stupid damn kid! Huh? Go on, laugh! Sten! - Get a grip! - Shut your trap, you stupid bitch! Huh? Just look what he's done, that worthless goddamn piece of shit! - It's just a game! - He can't even play freakin' soccer! - It's a game! - I can't deal with you idiots anymore! - You stupid fuck! - Shut up, dammit! Christ's sake! It was no damn accident, but, as I said, it was just the kind of shit that happened in my family.
That'll be 18.
25 crowns, please.
It was Dad who broke my arm, and it cost us all our savings.
Thank you.
And all his booze money too.
He didn't see us.
- Mom - Shh! Where the hell are you? Huh? Steal my damn money, huh? Piece of shit! He left.
He's gone now.
He's gone.
Look at me.
Mommy's here.
Mommy's right here.
I love you, Clark.
I love you.
Mommy's here.
I'll always be there I got you now! Holy shit, he got pissed! Oh, my God! - Are you ready? - Mm-hm.
Uh Ta-da! Wow! This baby's gonna take us to Beirut.
But it's also a good way for us to bring money with us, without having to worry about losing it.
Well, that's great.
Very nice.
But what happened to my car? Forget about it.
That's not important.
As soon as we're in Beirut, we'll sell this one and get all our money back.
Plus a little bonus.
Smart, huh? Very smart.
But it looks expensive.
And it was.
How did you buy it? How did you do it? Well, shit, I-I know people, and they trust me.
So we made a deal.
A freakin' great deal.
Jump in.
Seriously No funny business, right? Honey, how can you say that? Of course not.
I promise.
Now, let's get back to the hotel, get all of our stuff, and then Beirut, here we come! There we go.
Well I mean, you were so great in that TV interview.
They really got to see the real Clark, and now everybody will know that we were right all along.
They have to give you an honest chance now that you've straightened out.
Straightened out? Definitely.
And this one goes there.
Police! Don't move! I I am, uh innocent.
No, no, no, no, no! Here we come! Just kidding.
- What the hell is going on here? - Oh, my God.
What's happened? How should I know? I didn't do anything.
Goddamn it.
Tommy freakin' Lindström.
How can they know we're here? I have no idea, but this doesn't look good.
We got to go.
But our stuff and Kaj-Robert We can't just abandon him.
God, no.
Forget about him.
He can take care of himself.
Ow! Did you bring our passports? Those goddamn cops! Why can't they just leave you alone? Clark? Kaj-Robert? What are you doing here? This is not Clark Olofsson! Did I come all the way from Sweden for this?! That's not my problem.
Problem? This man, he's a he's a freakin' small-time crook! Shit! Goddamn it! Where?! Where is Clark?! - I'll never tell you that.
- Kaj-Robert, you tell me right now! Damn copper.
Where is Clark?! Get a grip! You'll be in a lot of trouble if you don't tell me! Where is Clark?! - B-B-Baraut! - Baraut? - He t-talked about going to Baraut.
- Where the hell is Baraut? Yeah, I have our passports here.
Wh What the hell is this? - Is Is this our money? - Yes.
I I told you.
I took care of it after your night out.
It wasn't me.
- I'll hold onto this, for safekeeping.
- Mm.
Don't you remember? You are the best, Maria.
Do you know that? Where the hell is Baraut?! - Ow! I don't know.
- Sonofabitch! Damn! I have to go there now.
BARAUT IS IN INDIA 3,966 KILOMETERS FROM BEIRU - D-d-don't tell him I said anything.
- Shut up, Kaj-Robert! Hey! Hey! Dammit.
Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn! Damn, I love you.
I think we all learned something from all this.
Kaj-Robert, Tommy, Maria.
Hell, even I learned something.
Nah, just kidding.
Everything went according to my plan.
Anyway, now we were heading south, and the first day of the rest of my freakin' life.
WELCOME TO HUNGARY WELCOME TO POLAND Dammit! WELCOME TO THE USSR Clark and Maria, on the road again! Here comes Clark! WELCOME TO YUGOSLAVIA You can't sleep while driving.
I'm not.
Look at that.
Wow! Look, honey.
We're here.
Yay! Ah, Beirut.
Paris of the Middle East.
Can you smell that? The smell of freedom! Paradise for people like me.
- Not too shabby, huh? - No.
I'm freakin' happy with who I am.
I feel great about myself, and thank you, Maria, who made me realize that.
Welcome to paradise.
Well, what the hell do I know? What the hell is that noise? BASED ON "VAFAN VAR DET SOM HÄNDE?" I-III BY CLARK OLOFSSON
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