Clipped (2024) s01e01 Episode Script

White Party

[ASSISTANT] Mr. Sterling always says,
"Some teams sell success.
The Clippers sell hope."
What he means is we usually lose.
He says a lot of things he shouldn't.
[TEAM OWNER] Who makes the
game? Do I make the game?
Or do they make the game?
I give them food and
clothes and cars and
[ASSISTANT] VIPs are like that.
- Hello?
- [EMPLOYEE] Mr. Sterling, it's out.
[ASSISTANT] They think they're
surrounded by nobodies.
What do you mean it's out? What's out?
[EMPLOYEE] Uh, the
recording of you and V.
[ASSISTANT] But most of the big
stars started out as nobodies.
Michael Jordan was cut from his
high school basketball team.
[ASSISTANT] Einstein was expelled.
It's the tape. It's out.
[ASSISTANT] And they got
big in the olden days.
Now anyone can blow up in an instant.
So the dangerous thing about
disrespecting a nobody,
especially one with big,
big potential like me
[NEWSCASTER] the owner
of the Los Angeles Clippers
is facing controversy tonight
over racist comments he
made in audio leaked to TMZ.
[ASSISTANT] I'm listening.
[DRIVER] Clippers offices?
Sure you don't wanna
circle around to departures,
fuck off back to Boston?
Come find me at Staples so I can
enjoy the abject shock on your face
when the Clippers bring
home a title this season.
- O-Okay. We'll see.
- Yeah.
Hey, I'm just messing with
you, man. You're a legend.
It's an honor to squire the great
Doc Rivers into LA in my Prius.
Thanks, man.
Hey, can I ask you a very,
very personal question?
- Off the record.
- Yeah.
Why did a championship coach like you
take a job with the
dogshittiest team in sports?
I like a challenge.
[RADIO HOST] Remember
last winter's spooky story
of the body found in
a hotel water tower?
Well, the LA County coroner finally
revealed the cause of death today:
Accidental drowning.
And another fabulous day at
the beaches, a high of 82
- [EMPLOYEE] Our fearless leader!
- [DOC] Andy.
Sorry they forgot to get
a car to LAX for you, Doc.
Um, so the press conference
isn't until this afternoon,
so what can we get you to eat for lunch?
Sushi, Indian, Indian-sushi fusion?
- Get me a bento box.
- Right.
Um, Mr. Roeser
Ah! Apparently we
ordered a deli platter.
Deli platter okay?
You know Gary Sacks, right?
The Sack Attack. [CHUCKLES]
EVP of player personnel
and a 19-year vet.
- Glad to have you back, Coach.
- Yeah, thanks.
Uh, okay, uh, Digital. [GROANS] HR.
Uh Oh, and if it, uh,
breaks, beeps or freezes,
your eggheads in IT.
And here's King Egghead right here.
Sandy, how long you been with us?
Twenty-five years, Mr. Roeser.
Twenty-five years.
Uh Oh! Your wordsmiths
in Communications,
Seth Burton, VP.
Coach, I'm Seth. I, uh, I enjoy
Scandinavian crime fiction.
- I've been
- Seth, let me interrupt you.
So, 43 years as a franchise,
and the Clippers have never
won a championship. Ever.
How many times have you made it to
the second round of the playoffs?
Just the second round?
Two U-Uh, twice.
[LAUGHS] That's crazy.
No offense, but you guys are
the worst organization in sports.
You're not here to
retire with a gold watch.
You're here to win.
Why the fuck are you
talking to me about longevity
when you haven't won anything?
Makes me very uncomfortable.
We are going to win a
championship this year,
and it will change your life.
Where's my favorite coach?
- Doc!
- Donald.
Bet you're glad you're out of Boston.
- I love Boston.
[DONALD] Did Doc tell you
when he used to play for me?
Well, you were here, Sandy,
minus about 20 pounds of ya.
Listen, Donald, I'd like to
get into some personnel issues.
Good. Andy, you wanna
Oh, yeah, oh. Come on. Back to work.
Eh, still not one for small talk.
[DOC] I wanna make a play for JJ Redick.
He's got two offers already,
so we'll have to spend
$30 million for four years.
Uh, who is this JJ? I
mean, where's he from?
Free agent out of Milwaukee.
He's the shooter we need.
[ANDY] My sources say JJ's
signing with Minnesota,
and Chris Paul already
broke the piggy bank.
Uh, he's very hard to please.
[DOC] Did your sources also tell
you Chris is our team captain?
Look, we can afford Redick.
What we can't afford is to get bounced
out of the playoffs
again in the first round.
[DONALD] Okay, Doc. Okay.
My coach knows best.
Look at you.
Is that Havarti?
Mmm. Help yourself too, sweetie.
Are you trading DeAndre Jordan?
- Excuse me?
- This is V, my assistant.
I heard the last coach wanted to.
He's expensive and he can't shoot.
Well, the last coach got fired.
DeAndre's gonna be the
best defender in the league,
and personnel decisions are
none of your damn business, V.
[ANDY] Mmm. Yep, um, Doc, let's, uh
let's get you fitted
with a Clippers polo.
First day, so don't feel bad,
but, uh, Mr. Sterling gets upset
when people don't call him Mr. Sterling.
Well, I'll call him Mr. Sterling
when he calls me Mr. Rivers.
- [ANDY] Where are you going?
- [DOC] Bringing JJ to LA.
[GUEST] Is Sterling gonna
freak if I order an entrée?
[DOC] Come on.
When you played for the Clippers,
did you have to buy your own socks?
- No.
- I read one time
Sterling tried to fire the trainer
and get the coach to
tape up the players.
I read he likes losing.
His philosophy being people
come to the games either way
and he doesn't have to spend on salary.
You look at the Internet a lot.
Well, I'm not cheap, and I'm
not going to tape up your ankles.
- We'll match any offer, including the socks.
JJ, you're the perimeter shooter I need.
You'll be a full-time starter,
and we are winning a title.
I'm down the road with Minnesota.
Yeah, but are you the missing ingredient
to a championship team in Minnesota?
Thanks, ladies and gentlemen.
Bill, what do you got for me?
Doc, any truth to the rumor
that you're on the verge of
closing a deal with JJ Redick?
white zone is for loading and
- Andy.
- [ANDY] Happy Fourth.
Plans with the family?
Yeah, just got back to Orlando.
Kids are in town.
My wife invited
Wait, why are you calling me?
[DONALD] Hello?
Hello, Andy?
It's Doc too, Donald.
[ANDY] Mr. Sterling, I told Doc you
changed your mind on JJ, and he's
- He doesn't
- What's going on, Donald?
[DONALD] I've been talking to
people, and they don't like JJ.
What people? Your dry cleaner?
[DONALD] That's funny.
He'll find another home.
[GARY] Mr. Sterling, the other teams
in play for JJ filled their slots.
[DONALD] Is that Gary?
Gary, if you say one more
fucking word, you're fired.
What have these people been
telling you about JJ, Donald?
[DONALD] He's white.
I didn't know he was white.
What the fuck?
What does him being white
have anything to do with it?
What is that? Are you
just making a sound?
[ANDY] The offer to
JJ isn't papered yet,
so legally we should be covered.
[GARY] We can't take
back a verbal offer.
- It's bad for the team's reputation.
- [DONALD] Gary, get off the call! You're fired.
We renege on JJ now, Donald, we'll
never get another free agent again.
[DONALD] Doc, Doc, Doc.
Don't worry about that.
I have a good reputation.
- No, I have a reputation.
- [DONALD] What's your reputation?
I'm the one. Everyone loves me.
- No, they don't.
- [DONALD] Excuse me?
Who are you talking to, you
fucking brat? I'm your owner.
You're not my owner, because I quit.
[DONALD] Quiet! You're
on a choke chain, you
[ANDY] Okay. Good talk. JJ's approved.
What the fuck, Andy?
Hey, look, I know people think
Mr. Sterling's some kind of joke.
He wears socks and sandals, I get it.
But he built an empire. Maybe
he deserves some respect.
Anyways, don't make plans for Labor Day.
We'll see you at his white party.
His what?
When it's hot like this, I
put my undies in the icebox
and drink a cold Clipper-tini, courtesy
of Donald T. Sterling. [CHUCKLES]
[DOC] It's a beautiful home.
We'd love to get you into a condo
until your family can
join you from Florida.
Donald and I own 150
properties around town.
Hotels, a Malibu yacht club,
half the apartments in Beverly Hills.
We know everybody in real estate.
Or if you need a decorating
eye or a housekeeper,
I find them for a lot of the wives.
Very kind of you, Shelly. Very kind.
Yeah. Think about it.
All right.
[SHELLY] Come on, Doc.
Our little way to kick off the season.
Where's Donald?
I'll go find him.
- Don't be shy.
- Yeah.
Natural light, am I right?
Uh, these These both looked
white at home. [CHUCKLES]
Let's give a big hand
to the fabulous Clippers
and America!
Let's give a big hand to one
of the finest athletes ever,
the leader of this team,
el hombre himself, Blake Griffin.
[GUEST 1] I love you, Blake!
[DONALD] And our fabulous new coach.
You're going to fall in love with him.
Let's hear it for Doc Rivers.
- [GUEST 2] Yeah, Doc!
- [PLAYER] Come on, Coach!
Thank you, Donald. Thank you, Shelly.
[GUEST 3] Have you two met?
[GUEST 4] Yeah.
[GUEST 5] All right. [LAUGHS]
- Ubuntu.
- Your motto with the Celtics.
- Yeah.
- "I am great through others."
I use it at corporate
retreats. It's a game changer.
- It is. It is.
- Yeah.
Bad boy! Hogging Blake all to yourself.
I see a lot of pretty
girls around here, Blake.
- You're pretty too, honey.
- Oh.
[DONALD] Come, come, come, come, come.
This is our star, Blake Griffin.
[GUEST] Oh, needs no introduction.
Hello, Blake.
- Good to meet you.
- [GUEST] You look younger in person.
Um, yummy. Am I drooling? [LAUGHS]
- You're hard-core Type-A, right?
- Yeah.
Got an obsessive personality.
You don't wanna see my closet.
Not a hair outta place. That's the
type of energy we need on this team.
Look. Look at DeAndre.
Two cosmos and a smile. You ain't
gon' see me smile till we win.
One of you guys wanna tap Blake out?
You don't get led by the hand unless you
wanna be led by the hand. You feel me?
Don, come meet JJ. Over here with Chris.
JJ, I am so happy
that you're joining us.
And are you gonna smile, finally,
now that you have your coach?
That's called a game face, Donald.
And why aren't you boys talking
to all these beautiful girls?
'Cause I love my wife.
Are you all right with Donald showing
you off in front of folks like this?
I don't know.
When he does it, I just kinda
pretend like my hand is somebody
else's hand and drift away a little bit.
Any preexisting tension on
the team I need to know about?
Nobody can stand the
sound of Chris's voice,
but all the players
agree with me about it,
so I wouldn't say it's a problem.
Doc, it is a privilege
to watch you mingle.
I knew we were gonna have a Donald
problem, but Blake and Chris?
Oh, yeah, no.
- They hate each other.
- Yeah.
Keep the energy up.
And push the drink.
We over-ordered on the gin.
Hang on, honey. There.
Oh, not so much broccoli, honey.
It sticks in your teeth. Hmm?
- So sorry we're late, Shelly.
- [SHELLY] You're not late at all.
[SINGER] Reggae's expanding
with Sly and Robbie ♪
Stepping in a rhythm
to a Kurtis Blow ♪
Who wants to think
when your feet just go? ♪
Hip and a hop and a hippity-hop ♪
Are you even watching what's
happening with this Obamacare mess?
What's next, free facelifts?
It's the rise of the takers.
We're falling behind in the
world in innovation, in science
- In space.
- In space.
These people, they don't make anything.
They don't grow our economy.
They just sit around
watching the Kardashians,
and they say, "Oh, gee! Look
at those girls." [CHUCKLES]
They haven't worked a day,
and they have this lifestyle.
But you can't just show
up and say, "Gimme."
- Oh, my God. It's the Electric Slide!
- [GUEST] Come on!
Let's just not look.
[FRIEND 1] If that's a personal
assistant, I'm Tinker Bell.
Where did Donald even meet her?
Donald's city council
friend called and said,
"There's a beautiful mixed-race girl
in jail with no one to bail her out,"
and I thought [CHUCKLES]
he'd find her very interesting.
They met at a Super Bowl party.
Let me set her straight.
[FRIEND 2] The problem is Donald
following his little captain.
I fermented a tea.
- I'll bring it to you tomorrow.
- Oh.
It's hibiscus.
[SHELLY] V, honey! Thank you for coming.
And thank you for helping
Donald these past few years,
driving him around and all that.
Don't worry about it.
You know, our lifestyle
can be a lot of fun,
but the white party, that's work too.
Donald likes to be the first
in the conga line, so to speak,
uh, but he counts on us to
maintain a certain image.
- Do you know what I mean?
- Definitely.
I've been helping Mr.
Sterling a lot with his image.
What do you mean?
He speaks from the heart.
That's what we love about him, right?
But we're working on his consistency.
[DONALD] There's my
hostess with the mostest.
Fabulous, honey.
How can V afford a
Ferrari? And why is it red?
I don't know. I mean, she
owned some cars. She traded 'em.
Now there's a Ferrari.
Why do you care? You wanted
her to have nice things.
I said if she's going
to be your assistant,
she can't dress like a hoochie.
I don't like the way she looks at you.
Whatever she does for you, fine.
But why
why show off in front
of our friends, our team?
I'm curious.
- If you're so curious, ask her.
- I did.
She said she's working
on your consistency.
- Oh. Right.
- Well, what on earth does that mean?
I'm forgetful, you know
that. She keeps a record.
An audio record.
She's taping you?
Honey, I hate driving to
Beverly Hills at night.
I need to go home. I've
been standing all day.
My foot is hurting.
I'll tell V to look at
me differently, okay?
Did you have fun?
[V] Yeah. Did you?
[V] Seat belt.
- [DOC] Hey, Ty,
what time am I sitting
down with Blake and Chris?
[TY] You aren't.
[DOC] Oh, fuck.
Blake's shooting a Kia commercial.
Chris has one for State Farm.
You know, where his twin
sells insurance? [CHUCKLES]
How do they come up with
You wanna go to them?
[SHELLY] What's going on at North Rodeo?
[MANAGER] The tenant with the reptiles?
Oh, she says her asthma's
acting up because of mold.
Mold? It's probably her turtle.
I want a happy building.
Let's help her relocate.
Offer her place to Ms. Kwon and
charge the turtle woman for new carpet.
[DONALD] My bride.
Oh, hi, Mrs. Sterling.
We're going down to parking.
Where are you off to?
- Uh
- Um, Mr. Sterling has the dentist,
and then we're visiting grant
candidates for the Sterling Foundation.
Homeless Rising, Para Los Niños.
Those sound very far east.
We have Nobu with the
Lasordas this afternoon.
Thank you for reminding me.
I love, I love, I
love my calendar girl ♪
This elevator wants to go down.
Hey, can you do pick-up and
take the boys to baseball?
Mr. Sterling's taking forever.
[PERSON] I'm still at work.
I can't get to the school
and the post office.
I'll get the transfer
application tomorrow.
Due means due.
The transfer application
has to go in today.
Maybe we keep the kids where they are.
It's better not to change their routine.
You might not get the duplex anyway.
Just get the transcripts, Lucy,
and the teacher references.
We're going to meet the realtor now.
I'll make sure we can use the address.
[DONALD] No ticket. Good girl.
Why was it two hours? I
thought it was only a cleaning.
Cracked filling, he said.
Oh, he drilled through my very soul.
Should we go straight to the open house?
What open house?
The duplex near the
Beverly Center, remember?
The one with the white fireplace.
We don't have time for
that. Go to Sunset. Go.
I don't see why we have time
for this and not the open house.
If you were punctual this morning,
we wouldn't be in a crunch.
We'll go next Tuesday.
They're taking offers this week.
What do you want me to do, stop time?
Fine, I'll go without you.
You like showing off a
little backside, don't you?
Turn around, show me.
Is this the one we got
at the Champs-Elysees?
We got it on Canon.
What do you need a house for anyway?
You spend all your time at my place.
By myself, while you go
off to Mrs. Sterling's.
You're mad 'cause I'm
eating with her, huh?
Why don't we ever do that?
Go out with Tommy Lasorda?
You wanna go out with Tommy Lasorda?
Okay, okay. Here. Gimme my phone.
[ANDY] Mr. Sterling.
Andy, get me two of the best
tickets for the Dodgers game,
plus car service.
- Sure thing. And where did you
- Okay.
I'll go say hi to Tommy, I'll
come back and pick you up.
We'll miss an inning, so what?
You happy?
[REALTOR] Is your husband
meeting you this time?
Oh, business in Dubai.
What do you know about
Hancock Park Elementary?
Well, Redfin rates it a seven,
so for LAUSD, it may as
well be Juilliard, right?
But, uh, most people do private.
Are you planning a family?
We have foster kids we're
in the process of adopting.
Two boys.
Hmm. Oh, well, let me
know if you have questions.
[BLAKE] Honestly, I'm hurt.
Chris comes out from New
Orleans, suddenly it's his team?
What has he done to earn it?
I mean, when I got drafted,
this team was a joke.
Like, fans were going home at
halftime because they knew we'd lose.
Nobody had expectations for us.
I'm a leader because I'm the best.
And I'm the best because God
gave me the tools to achieve.
Eat the cookies last, baby. Okay?
Eat five more carrots and
you can have the cookie.
I put us on the map, I
put in the hard hours.
I know in Boston you had the
whole Ubuntu thing.
"I'm great through
others." And I'm with that.
I'm trying to teach
these guys how to succeed
even when they don't wanna hear me out,
but Blake only cares
about Blake being great.
I'm the only reason that we have
any chance of winning this thing.
"Me, me, me." That's all I hear.
- It's really unbecoming, man.
Chris can't shut up, that's his style.
What's it got to do with you?
His team, your team.
Uh-uh, it's our team.
You keep bitching with your
little State Farm mustache,
we damn sure won't go the distance.
You wanna be a leader, you
better stop talking smack.
Nobody's gonna love you less
because Chris is captain.
- Now, go get ready for your close-up.
All right, Coach. [SIGHS]
- I hear you, Coach.
- Okay.
Stop staring at my mustache, man. Huh.
Check out this dude's eyes.
That's the wisdom of
the Jurassic right there.
[CHUCKLES] But how are you gonna
take that dinosaur on the road?
You need something little, like this.
Fuck a gecko.
Chinese water dragon is the
bonsai tree of the reptile world.
Helps focus the mind and tune
out all that other bullshit.
Doc say that shit to you too,
lecturing about your free throws?
He ain't lecture me. He said if I
focus, I could be a star in my role.
So I get a beat down,
you get a pep talk?
You wanna help me get
centered, little buddy?
You have the biggest heart
and I love you so much,
and you are so strong.
You take such an incredible
amount of shit from everyone,
- and you wake up every day with a smile.
And I know you're gonna make the most
- Hey.
- [ANDY] V, it's Andy.
Mr. Sterling unfortunately can't
join you for the game tonight.
But if you're still
waiting at his house
[KRIS JENNER] This is All these
people are here
because you are so loved.
We celebrate you, Kim.
[KRIS JENNER] Congratulations.
I hate baseball. You
can't see anyone's faces.
Least he got us car service.
So is he not buying you the duplex?
- He says he needs to see it first.
- Yeah, that's a no.
Deja, he didn't say no.
Nobody in LA says no.
They go, "Let's keep
talking," or they just ghost.
I promised my sister the upper unit
so she can help with the kids.
It's a good school district.
Damn, girl. I hope you
didn't tell him all that.
My experience with these men,
they get horny off the
sexy things money can buy.
Your foster kids' education?
Kind of a boner jam.
Well, I don't know what
to do. I have no credit.
Everything he gives me is gifts.
- I need a financial advisor.
- Mmm.
Magic Johnson is over there.
What a cutie.
How come famous people glow like that?
Usually it's not happiness.
- Donald hates him.
- Hates Magic?
Why? That's like hating ice cream.
I don't know. He's a Laker,
he's Black and successful.
Daddy is insecure.
If I were you, I'd use
that to my advantage.
We had the soft food
conversation, Donald.
You bite down wrong, even a
Dodger Dog can knock out a temp.
- What Dodger Dog?
- Weren't you at the game last night?
I figured you introduced
your assistant to Magic.
V and I follow each other.
Check out Magic. [CHUCKLES]
He's got a chick on each arm.
So cool.
Why would you do that?
Are you stupid or something?
You wanna broadcast to the world
that you walk around
with a man like that?
I'm not broadcasting anything!
Then why are you taking
pictures with minorities? Why?
You told me you were
going to remove those.
- You said "Yes, I understand you."
I mean, you change from day to day.
If my girl can't do what I
want, I don't want the girl.
- Thanks.
have three new voicemails.
[CALLER] Hey, we keep
missing each other.
I had a late meeting
at Spencer's school.
Nothing you need to know.
[DONALD] Doc, hello? I
I didn't hear a beep.
Uh, listen.
Chris, uh, he's always
whining to the refs.
Shake it off and play the game.
You'll tell him in a way
that he'll understand.
Oh, brother, did you see
Rihanna at the game last night?
No bra, nipple piercings
on full display.
Why do girls do that?
Don't they lose all
the fabulous sensation?
LeVar Burton?
I didn't realize you lived here.
In the sauna?
You know the Enterprise isn't
real, right? And I'm not actually blind.
- All right. All right. [CHUCKLES]
- It's all good. All good.
- [SIGHS] Ah. Mmm.
You know, I-I I hope
you don't mind my saying so,
but I'm kinda surprised you came here.
Yeah, a lot of people were.
Just feels different
than I thought it would.
Played for the Clippers back
in '91 under Donald Sterling.
Don't know how much you know about him.
I knew it was fucked up here.
I just didn't know I was inheriting
a team of whiny little bitches.
I guess that's got
something to do with Donald.
But you thought you could come
back and win a crown for the clown?
As a returning conqueror, yeah.
And maybe I deluded myself a little bit.
Oh, I had it so good in Boston.
It's one of the best
organizations in sports.
Everybody knows that
and that's the problem.
[SIGHS] Winning there
didn't feel like enough.
What is enough? Hmm? [SNIFFS, SIGHS]
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry too.
So this is about your apartment, right?
It's a duplex.
Excuse me. Two apartments.
So you wanna punish me
'cause I didn't go to
your stupid open house.
You can't be anyone in LA if
you don't own a piece of it.
- You taught me that.
- Is that so, my eager pupil?
You're my girl. I'll
give you the whole city.
Oh, that's good.
- Oh-ho-ho. This is my Pokémon drawer.
- Can we have the upstairs?
Well, the upstairs is for Lucy for now,
but if you get straight A's for
the next 10 years, it's all yours.
[CHILD] Ten years? In ten
years, I'll be a celebrity chef.
- Ooh.
- [REALTOR] Ooh.
- Just
- [V] Okay, yeah.
[REALTOR] Congratulations,
Miss Stiviano.
- You're a homeowner.
- [V CHUCKLES] Thank you.
[DOC] Folks gave me shit
for taking this job.
You Google yourselves,
they make fun of you too.
Only 6% of the people in this city
say the Clippers are
their favorite team,
and even they've been watching
our every move this season,
waiting for us to crush
their dreams again.
This franchise has never even
made it to the Western finals.
That means there is historical
significance to what we are doing here.
This season, we're making
winning look easy, but it's not.
- From tip-off, every second counts.
- [ALL] Yeah.
[DOC] We stay in that headspace,
nothing can stop us from winning a ring.
I know, people say the
franchise is cursed.
There's no magic power to defeat.
All it is: We got a bad boss.
[DOC] It's no secret.
Donald is like a norovirus
on a cruise ship,
making everybody sick.
Taking personnel advice from some
loudmouth on the street. [CHUCKLES]
Tossing off retrograde nonsense
that'd get the rest of
us fired on the spot.
Incompetent leadership like that
doesn't exactly inspire team spirit.
For 30 years, it's been
impossible for this franchise
to budge under the weight of that man.
But our team is different.
You can feel it.
- [CLIPPERS] Clips!
- [DOC] A Cinderella story in the making
with no fairy godmother.
We're earning our ticket to the ball.
We're ignoring the shit talk.
We embrace mind-numbing repetition.
That's why we're successful.
Life will be boring, but that's good
'cause there's a lot of
road before the playoffs,
and a thousand people are
gonna rattle your cage.
They cannot change your result.
Our owner cannot change your result.
We have to stay perfect,
and I'm talking about Obama perfect.
- Yes! Yes! Whoo! [CHEERING]
[COMMENTATOR] The love! The cheer!
Oh, this young team is fast
becoming a title favorite.
Andy, where's V sitting tomorrow?
[ANDY] Courtside, with
you and Mr. Sterling.
Can't you put her somewhere else?
Girl, if I'd known you were gonna
bring me all the way up here,
I would've brought my glasses.
Oh, luxury box.
Pretty exclusive, huh?
So is solitary confinement.
The family room has gotten crazy.
All us wives been upset about it.
Half the people in there I don't know.
They're just season
ticket holders, honey.
When you're winning,
everybody wants to be near you.
[CHUCKLES] At least there's
no groupies in the pressroom.
[SIGHS] Oh, this momentum,
right? It's amazing.
I like your purse.
- Thank you. I like yours too.
- Thanks.
I've been wanting one in white.
Mr. Sterling gave it to me.
Huh. Hmm.
- You can't go in the pressroom.
- [V] Shelly goes into the pressroom.
Don't be stupid. Who cares about
going in the pressroom anyway?
You wanna talk to reporters?
They're a parasite class.
You've had other girls.
I need to know I'm different.
Part of your life for real.
- Part of your team.
- Jesus Christ.
I don't have anything else.
I don't have time to work on a
plan B because I'm always with you.
Bergamot hand soap. Nice.
- You been wearing your orthotics?
- Have you?
I refuse to be with a man that's
ashamed to be seen with me.
I can go back to school.
I had two food trucks when we met.
- I'm entrepreneurial.
- [PODIATRIST] Just a pinch.
- I may have to struggle, but Oh, honey.
It's okay.
Does that hurt?
- Oh, no. Stimulates the nerves.
Good. Well, now you can
get the fuck out of here.
I can't stand the thought
of you near a food truck.
All right? You're gorgeous.
How could you say I'm ashamed of you?
I love you.
Of course you're a part of my life.
Silly rabbit.
[COMMENTATOR] And a very happy birthday
to the fabulous V Stiviano
from her special friend, DTS.
Just 'cause somebody's
desperate for attention
doesn't mean you give it to 'em.
- Right, Coach?
- Yeah.
Noted, Doc.
[SHELLY] Strutting the
court in that green dress
while our team is playing? Really?
My name is on that floor, Andy.
Uh Uh, apparently, it's her
birthday, and she only has one.
Thank God.
Uh, but, hey, at least we're winning.
- Oh.
- That's what I'm talking about.
Did you see that green dress?
What the fuck was that about?
You ever seen somebody runway
walk the court in an evening gown?
This year's Oscar for
nastiest side piece goes to
I wish I had tripped on it. Could've
sued her for millions of dollars.
I ain't see no green dress,
but I did see DeAndre finally
decide to put in some work.
See what happens when
you give your boy a shot?
Excuse me? You wanna say that so
the rest of the class can hear?
- Hi. I'm Chris Paul, and I'm small.
And even when people are successful,
I make them feel bad about it.
- My eardrums, bro. I got tinnitus.
My name is DeAndre,
and my best friends are
Blake Griffin and a lizard.
- [DONALD] Hello, boys. Having fun?
- [PLAYER] What the
I know we are, because you're winners.
- Who the fuck are these people?
- Assholes.
- [DONALD] Come. Come, say hi.
- I'll just wait here.
Never snuck into the
little boys' room before?
- They don't mind. It's a celebration!
- [PLAYER 1] You see this shit?
- Andy, you're blocking the entrance.
- [PATRON] Great game.
- That was amazing.
- [DONALD] Having fun? Good.
Uh, Blake, I want you to
say hi to, uh, to Phillip.
He's by far the greatest
oral surgeon around.
And this is my assistant, V, with
the beautiful, uh, birthday gown.
Hi. We're acquainted.
Look at this guy. Look
at this mug on this guy.
This could be the next
Antonio Banderas
- Antonio Banderas?
- He thinks Blake's Latino.
Look at DeAndre.
Magnificent DeAndre.
What did they say about
him when I drafted him?
Uh, they said he had
a high bust potential.
[PLAYER 1] What the fuck do you know?
- [DONALD] Go ahead, Blake, make a muscle.
- [CHRIS] Excuse me?
This ain't the Statue of Liberty.
- Can I get some space?
- They'll pixelate it.
Here's a question.
How long are your arms, huh?
What's What's your wingspan?
No, come on. You know
what your wingspan is.
- You can speak.
- [DOC] What the fuck is that?
A parade?
Hey, Doc, come on in.
We're just here telling these guys
how fabulous they were tonight.
- Okay. Everybody out.
- [PLAYER 2] Doc!
Calm down. This is my fucking team.
If you don't like it,
stay in your office.
[DOC] I'll calm down when
you get the fuck out of here.
[DONALD] Okay, Papa Bear.
I told you we shouldn't.
- Hey, Andy.
- What?
- This is not a club.
- I know.
I have never seen anything
like this in my life.
- Alvin, have security clear the hallway.
- You got it, man.
Doc, look. The season ticket holders
are used to a certain amount of access.
Yeah? And I'm used to a certain
amount of people acting fucking normal.
big Christmas Day game.
[DONALD] That's a flagrant
foul. Did you see that?
The Green kid elbowed
Blake right in the neck.
Somebody should teach him how to behave.
Did you finish reading?
No. Well, I'm on
You give Blake a technical?
You lousy
Is that V?
Tell her it's Christmas.
Donald, you have to sign it before
the kids get back from the movie.
- Told you I haven't finished reading it.
- It's boilerplate language.
A simple update to the family trust.
Did you go to law school
when I wasn't looking?
The trust is fine.
We're getting older.
I wanna make sure nobody
can take advantage.
You think Gladys has a long game?
Anyone. It could be anyone.
And this "anyone" who wants to take
advantage, what are they gonna do?
I can't imagine what they would do.
Rob us blind, put herself in our will.
Would you please put
that thing on silent?
It's on silent!
Wait a minute.
There you go, Rochelle. Happy?
What are you, a basket
case? What do you want?
The jacket was a nice thought.
"Extra large."
[CLERK] So, size four.
- [DEJA] Crocodile?
- [V] I already have that one.
- [SHELLY] Excuse me.
- [V] Cute, right?
- [DONALD] Pink. Very nice.
- Yeah.
[SHELLY] One sec.
I told you I like them all.
Oh, incoming. Incoming.
What are you doing?
Hi, sweetie. How are you?
We're shopping for you.
- I don't believe you.
I don't shop here.
- This store is for old ladies.
I picked that jacket out
for you. You didn't like it?
What gives you the
right to spend our money?
Shelly, don't make a scene.
You already made one.
You look ridiculous sitting there
while these girls swipe your card.
Nobody's swiping.
What Mr. Sterling gives me
is a gift from the heart.
- A gift from the heart?
- Hmm.
A Ferrari is a gift from the heart?
You're a thief, that's what you are.
What would your mother think of you?
Don't talk about my mother, witch.
V, don't call names.
She's the Wicked Witch of the West.
Are you just going to sit
there while she threatens me?
Can we go? Okay? Let's go outside.
I don't need to threaten
you. Mr. Sterling loves me.
I'm going to be the next Mrs. Sterling.
You're history.
You're dust. [BLOWS]
- [PATRON 1] Unbelievable.
- [PATRON 2] Right?
[PATRON 3] It's a spicy
aioli. It's really good.
What in the world?
When you're down and troubled ♪
And you need some lovin' care ♪
He bought her a house.
- [FRIEND 1] No!
- He did.
He did.
I used a forensic a forensic
I hired somebody to follow the money.
- He bought her a duplex.
Is she going to be a landlord?
- My girlfriend lives on the same street.
- [SHELLY] Uh-huh.
- It's a party house.
- Oh.
V has gangbangers over every night,
playing loud music and laughing.
But why is she called
V? Is she a singer?
[FRIEND 2] It's an alias.
She's had other names.
Vanessa, Maria, Monica
[LAUGHS] Monica. That's good.
I mean, if she lived in
India, she'd be an untouchable.
Now, now, David Duke.
Well, who would wanna
have sex with that?
They're not having sex.
I'm sorry.
I thought I could get the
V situation under control.
You all know Donald has
had other assistants before.
Yeah. It's never fun.
Usually, I don't have to look at 'em.
It's a little bit of respect I need.
But V she shops at my store,
she strolls onto my court
like I'm not even there.
- That happens when you turn 60.
- Mmm.
People cut in line at the Gelson's
even when your cart is right there.
Yeah. It's been like that my whole life.
Donald and I decided on the
name "Sterling" together.
We bought the Clippers together.
Every property we
acquired, we got together.
But it's Donald's first
name on all of our buildings.
It's Donald they call
the owner of our team.
I tell myself she couldn't take
my place, but who would stop her?
No one knows I'm there.
But if you had been born 20 years later,
you would have done it all on your own.
You are a double Virgo.
- You have plans the day after tomorrow.
- Look at your legs.
- [FRIEND 2] Hmm.
- Perfection.
- [FRIEND 2] Woo-woo!
You are going to live
another quarter of a century.
You deserve more than
a little bit of respect.
You deserve it all.
Working for Red Bull
must be so rewarding.
The Clippers are such
a fit for our mission,
- I just show up and eat the chicken.
So, what's your role
with the organization?
Philanthropic Director of the Donald
T. Sterling Charitable Foundation.
I work with corporate sponsors such as
yourself and target grand recipients.
$10,000 to the United
Negro College Fund,
- $5,000 to the NAACP
- 5,000? Wow.
In May, Mr. Sterling is receiving a
humanitarian award from the president.
- Well, the president of the LA chapter.
Did Did he take
that ad out for himself?
Well, how does anyone know about your
achievements if you
don't advertise them?
Everyone does it.
[PROCESS SERVER] Ms. Stiviano?
Legal documents for you, ma'am.
[COMMENTATOR] Oh, me, oh, my!
- Your LA Clippers are going to the playoffs!
[DOC] Whoever bet against us
is gonna be crying tonight.
Nothing changes! Nothing changes!
We move the ball, we make our
shots, we keep our momentum.
- Yes? All right.
- [CHRIS] Clippers on three.
- On three. One, two, three.
[ALL] Clippers!
[PLAYER] Yeah, baby.
Is everyone decent?
thank you for your attendance
and encourage you to arrive home safe.
We are so proud.
[DONALD] JJ, what a shooter you are.
And, DeAndre, I I
love to see you shine.
[COMMENTATOR] Thank you so
much for your attendance.
The Clippers are deeply grateful
to all of you for your support.
And Chris. Oh, Chris.
You are a fabulous leader.
Thank you for coming, Donald. Shelly.
How can she sue me?
V dropped me off. I need to call her.
- I took care of V.
- Oh.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God.
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