Cobra (2020) s02e05 Episode Script

Season 2, Episode 5

Right now from every direction
we are facing a different storm.
Who are these people, Fraser?
Mods. That's Audrey Hemmings' brother.
Of course, people are angry.
After what we heard last week
about the cyber-attack,
it is clear that this country
is under systematic assault.
I want to know who it is,
and how we stop it.
Who is your handler?
You wanted a shortlist
of my preferred candidates.
Now you have one.
I don't see the problem.
Except for all of them being on
the hard right of the hard right.
And Roger Hawkins?
We need to hold the seat,
and I trust Robert's judgement.
My job is to make sure you make
the best possible decision.
Well, maybe that's something
overdue for reappraisal.
This assault on me isn't happening
by unfortunate circumstances.
It's your job they're trying to capsize.
As long as Firestorm
is spewing its poison,
this government will not tolerate that.
Well, that's one fire snuffed out.
Or have we stoked it?
A firestorm is caused by baskets of
incendiaries and not a single bomb.
Neither the silencing of a lone patriot,
nor the disappearance of
one truth-telling journalist
will stop the flames of truth
from spreading.
Water may douse the flames,
but who controls the water?
Think before you drink.
Oh, my God, she has made me sound
like a complete and utter idiot.
Well, I'm sure it's just
"Seemingly cloth-eared
to current debates
on privilege and racial justice.
She moans about the size
of the Downing Street flat
and claims that her infamous comment
that posh, white girls
do not belong in prison was not
understood in context."
I made a joke about the flat because
the cameraman banged his head
Come on, it's just newspapers.
It's an absolute bloody disaster.
Look, er Firestorm is back.
I have to go.
Well, are they messing
with our water now?
Fraser is looking into it,
Prime Minister.
And who snatched Hari Misra?
Ask the people
he pissed off with his scoops.
Including us?
Contrary to popular myth,
- and social media
- Maybe my wife's had him snatched
and is overseeing his torture somewhere.
That's what they're saying, I imagine.
Misra's recent output
certainly means the finger
will point at us to make us look bad.
And you're sure that wasn't
your objective as well?
A little strategic own-goal.
Because I'm a bit doubtful as to
whose side anyone is on right now.
We have done nothing to Hari Misra.
Not to make you look bad,
or for any other reason.
We failed to pick him up,
and even if we had got there first,
we don't have an
assassination programme,
as you know perfectly well.
Well, I'm beginning to question
the merits of that.
Especially when it comes to journalists.
We can announce a change of policy
on the Number 10 Twitter feed,
if you like?
OK, keep me informed.
Thanks. Problems with the water
down in Kent.
Oh, yeah,
my brother mentioned that to me.
Been on and off for a while now,
but the water company's saying
the pressure is completely normal.
Now there's stuff all over social
media saying it isn't safe to drink.
Really? Do you think
it might be another
Water systems would be a prime
target for a cyber-attack.
I'll speak to the intelligence chief.
They haven't flagged
any malware in the system yet.
We are clearly under attack from
a coalition of powerful state actors.
And they seem to be taking turns
to occupy the driving seat.
The Foreign Secretary is not wrong,
but first things first.
My counterpart at the American Embassy
has assured me that the Misra story
we intercepted from his computer
about their involvement
in the ship explosion in Kent was
fake news planted by the Chinese.
And what do you think?
We're still looking at the evidence.
Well, early evidence suggests that
something odd went on down there.
Fraser mentioned some kind
of sonic event.
Tensions are very high between the
Yanks and the Chinese at the moment.
But would the Americans really
Well, not deliberately.
But they could have been making
a point to the Chinese
about their underwater capacities
especially with everything so
on edge in the South China Sea.
And they did make it very clear
that they were unhappy
with the drilling permissions
that we granted
to the Jiayou Corporation.
I want reprisals.
Against the Americans?
No, not them for now
until the facts are clearer.
But identify some targets
from the other two
- who we know are behind Ruin Britannia.
- The problem with that
I know the problems. Keep it largely
symbolic but not entirely pain-free.
A few surgical strikes that will
make both Russia and China jump.
A central bank, TV network
use your imagination.
I am not going to sit here
and take this.
Did you ask the government
about Hari Misra?
Yeah, they claim
they don't know anything.
Maybe they don't.
Right, I will say a few words,
announce your candidacy
- and then hand over to you.
- What's all this about?
No idea.
What's wrong with the tap water?
Nothing, as far as I know.
What's a quantum algorithm?
No idea.
But I do know that you can
put the word "quantum"
in front of any old bullshit and all
of a sudden it looks high status.
Any chance of a photo?
Good morning, everybody,
thank you for coming.
As you can see,
with me is Francine Bridge.
We'll take a few questions,
maybe five minutes,
and then we really will have to move on.
But I really appreciate you coming.
Over to Francine.
Who's drunk all the water?
There's water in the kettle still.
You know I'm not drinking that.
You don't believe all that crap that
they're poisoning us with equations,
do you?
Algorithms. Lin says it's
actually quite dangerous..
Lin listens to Michael Buble,
refused to get her kids vaccinated,
and is voting for that racist nonce.
She's also my best mate
and Danny's godmother, so
I'm gonna go and get some bottled
stuff, just so we're sure.
Bring me back a KitKat, then.
Shut up, Kit-Kat.
You're meant to be on a diet.
I've got a naturally high metabolism.
- I don't need to diet.
- Ohh.
Be nice to be able to see
your cock again, though, right?
You tell me.
It fell off last week
through lack of use.
Danny! Gonna go to the shops?
Are you really gonna drink that?
You're an idiot.
Don't be a mean old Jezebel.
Get me a Kit-Kat!
- Yeah, yeah. Danny!
- I'm coming!
First they came with their
pills and vaccinations.
Now it's the water. Ask yourselves this:
why was the water supply suspended
for emergency work on the water
To carry out emergency work
on a water main?
And why has the pressure been
so weird recently?
Probably because someone's using
buried malware to manipulate it.
They are making the data
in the water plants
look normal to the technicians
while lowering
the pressure to consumers.
Going for a slow drip
rather than a drought,
which is even more frustrating.
As any man over 50 knows.
No coincidence, I suppose,
they've chosen an area
where a bitter election is taking place?
Well, what's worrying me
is that they've teamed up to hit back
for this week's symbolic reprisals.
Ganging up and showing off?
Player One, world leaders
in sophisticated malware.
Player Two, world leaders
in misinformation and chaos.
Others turning the chips
in their pockets,
waiting for the next spin of the wheel.
Why did it start, though?
Because that's what happens
when you have the weapons,
and the conditions are right.
Spark becomes flame becomes inferno.
First World War could have been
Prussian railway timetables.
On a happier note
you know how scientists
have developed weapons
that can immobilise you
purely through a vile stench?
I am familiar with the concept.
They would struggle to find one
that has as an impact
as strong as our new candidate
from Kent has
on Anna Marshall's
delicate little schnoz.
Have you ever actually been to Kent?
As opposed to figuratively?
Of course, I've actually been to Kent.
I'm not talking
about a pint of prawns in Deal.
I'm talking about Medway towns
where the real people live.
Oh, bad news, Deal residents,
you don't actually exist.
OK, I think it's a given that you two
aren't gonna be sharing
a picnic hamper at Glyndebourne.
Can we just focus on the issues in hand?
Good call.
The opposition will attack us,
if they have any sense,
on the housing issue.
Plus the water issue which has
suddenly emerged from nowhere.
I'm not going to talk
about housing plans or water.
You didn't put me in this seat
to fight clean, and you know it.
So stop being hypocrites.
You put me in it to defeat
a resurgent opposition
from winning a seat
you can ill-afford to lose.
This election is going to be about
one thing for me,
and that is stopping Francine Bridge
from representing
a constituency totally at odds
with her values.
- Which values are those, then?
- Oh, what, you don't know?
- Mimsy, lefty.
- Feminine?
Chuck it in if you like, Archie,
but I'll be appealing
to the female vote.
One of the big mistakes
you make is to assume
that everybody agrees with your
values when it's just a handful
of media luvvies posting photos
of their negronis on Instagram.
It's all about
the Skinny Bitches now, Roger.
They had an open goal, but they
gambled with her selection.
- Fresh lime, not cordial, obvs
- Anna.
They're so desperate to get
her back into Parliament,
it could be their undoing.
She's gonna be soft
on all kinds of issues,
which I intend to hit her with
again and again and again.
And that's how we're
gonna win that seat.
Don't make it about race, Roger.
- Do not target that.
- Don't worry, Joseph,
I have no intention of doing so.
I won't need to.
- Oh, hi, Rachel.
- Hi, Anna. I just
Don't dwell on it.
She made me look like a
complete idiot. I trusted her.
OK. Beginner's error.
It's happened to us all.
I did an interview once.
They used everything I said,
but made me look like a simpering idiot.
Which I'm not.
Every joke, every suggestion
of irony. I'm funny, Anna!
I know, you're a hoot.
I'm a harpy, a racist
the wicked witch pulling
her husband's strings,
when everybody knows that's you.
You'd be surprised.
Well, he is a bit jealous, isn't he?
- Of whom?
- Francine Bridge.
He He worries you prefer her
to Hawkins.
Newsflash. I do.
Yeah, but to Rob that's like saying
you prefer her to him.
That's ridiculous.
Listen, don't worry about
the response to the article.
Well, I'm just never going to be enough.
You know, the way I dress,
the way I speak,
my body, the fact that I'm Jewish.
Yeah, Jewish lawyer, to boot.
Come on, you must be pulling strings
Well, I had a Ukrainian oligarch
murdered to spare my blushes
over some bullshit
that wasn't even my fault,
so, you know, join the dots, sheeple.
Maybe you need a break, or something.
I don't know, go and visit Ellie?
I don't think I can live in this
bloody flat for much longer.
Well, it's little more
than a matchbox, after all.
I literally feel like I'm going insane.
Talk to Robert.
I can't. He's got too much on his plate.
Talk to him, though. It's not fair
what they're doing to you.
Thank you, thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thanks.
I'm gonna ask you a personal
question, so don't be offended,
but anything happening
between you and Misra?
Had to ask.
But something really
bad's happened, Chris.
The fire at his office,
his disappearance, I just
- Get back to London!
- Poisoning our water!
Ah, it's like Burnley-on-Sea.
Spoken like a true woman of the people.
They're having a hard time deciding
if I'm a metropolitan elitist,
- or a Moss Side drug dealer.
- Bit of both, I'd say.
Chorlton, mate,
creative hub of Manchester.
There's a very ugly mood in this town.
And it's only going to get worse.
I'm afraid I have some disturbing news,
linked to the water in Kent,
Prime Minister.
And I was on such a winning streak.
A child in Rochester called Simon Drake
has developed amoebic meningitis.
And that's different from erm
It's caused by a bacteria
called Naegleria fowleri
that attacks the brain
and is almost always fatal.
How did he catch it?
Well, you normally get it
by breathing contaminated water
through the nose.
- And had he?
- They're investigating.
It's very rare especially in the UK.
- They wouldn't
- It could be a coincidence.
But it's been picked up on
by the trolls and the bots,
and they're exploiting it
to maximum effect.
Prepare the COBRA room.
First the ship. Now the water supply.
Children are dying for this
government's experiments.
Luckily, we will soon have
an opportunity
to tell them what we think of them
at the polls.
Justice for Simon. Vote nobody.
What's that symbol they use?
It's similar to an image used
by a Chilean fascist group
called Patria y Libertad in the
1970s, but they're long gone.
- Chile?
- I recently reviewed Ellie's security.
How is the child doing?
ICU. Very poorly.
- What's the water company saying?
- That the water is completely safe,
but that if people are worried,
to boil it and avoid inhaling it.
- Who inhales water?
- Showers etcetera.
The bacteria can't actually
be spread by drinking
because the stomach acid neutralises it.
Let me get this straight.
First, they fooled around
with the water supply.
Then they started a blizzard of rumours.
And now they are telling people
not to vote in the election.
Get our bloody candidate
to drink a big glass of water.
Now, there's a win-win scenario.
I'll get down there as soon as I can.
Is that such a good idea?
It worked for the solar storm.
We can't run from the people.
As Mussolini discovered
from the wrong end of a meat hook.
Enough with the wisecracks
and smart-alec replies.
- Does anybody see what is happening?
- We do
It is one thing after another.
Death by a thousand cuts.
They're not even asking for anything.
It is like we've just become
a fucking game board for them.
That's exactly what it's like,
Prime Minister.
Problem is, now that it's started
I'm not sure anyone
knows how this game ends.
Yeah, well, I'm not going to hide
behind a bunch of useless pawns.
Hit back hard.
- We've just done that.
- Then try again. Harder.
It's like bloody Nuremburg
down this close.
All these swastika things.
Nobody round here's gonna vote.
- I am.
- Good.
A kid's dying because of
what they're doing to the water.
There's one case.
Believe what you want to believe.
I've got more beliefs
in case you're interested.
Vaccinations are a triumph
of medical science.
Our dad died before
one had a chance to save him.
And there's nothing in the water
apart from hydrogen, oxygen
and a little bit of fluoride to stop
your teeth from falling out.
I'm not interested, Audrey.
Just cos you went to college
Yeah, I did go to college, Tina, yeah.
My dad wasn't a moron, and he
thought education was a good thing.
I'm proud I went to college,
actually, to stop me turning
into some two-bob,
Well, go on, love, say it.
I know what you've always thought of me.
You stuck-up little cow.
And give it a rest about your dad,
like he's the only person who ever died,
and you're the only person who cares.
Fuck you.
A lot of people think like she does.
Can you blame them,
with this lot in power?
The boat going up all of a sudden,
and now this shit with the water?
There is no shit with the water.
Something's going on. How did
that kid get that Nigeria
Naegleria fowleri.
I don't know, Cary.
Maybe he jumped off a lock
into a filthy canal like you
always did when you were 15.
Remember that kid
who ripped his bollocks off
on the submerged bicycle?
God. Was that actually true,
- or did they just say it to scare us?
- I don't know.
- Worked, though.
- Well, there you are, then.
- Oh.
- Hello.
Are you from
the local Labour Party? Thank you.
What do you think?
Yeah, I think she'll win.
She's got a better smile
than that Tory doughnut.
You just fancy her.
I'm not gonna lie, I've
got the raging horn, mate.
Eurgh, disgusting.
You sure there's nothing up
with the water?
The water is safe. That's my
department, I really would know.
Tina's just worried.
She's got a big heart.
That's all. And that kid with
all them tubes has really upset her.
Big-hearted muppet.
Oh, here comes a Tory muppet.
Good evening, Sir.
Reckon I can keep these bastards
here for an hour at least.
So, I'm very undecided in this
election, and I was wondering if
Mr Hawkins, do you think that water
in Kent is safe to drink?
I've been assured that it is.
That's not the same
as saying it actually is.
We're all assured that it is.
Francine Bridge made
a categoric statement
Well, to be fair, it's probably cleaner
than the water where she comes from.
Hard as nails,
that water in the inner cities.
I doubt she's even tasted
our Kent water.
He said what?
No, tell me exactly.
Right. I'll raise it directly
with the PM.
Drinking unclean water
is an obvious trope
- that she's not really British.
- Yes, but he said
Oh, come on, Robert.
One thing to be an opportunist,
quite another to be wilfully dense.
- Wilfully what?
- This is an absolute disgrace.
It's clear enough
what he was doing there.
It's completely unacceptable. Also,
what's with "I'm assured the water
is safe to drink"?
- OK.
- OK, what?
- OK, point taken.
- Point taken, and what?
We'll make sure he doesn't overstep
the mark like that again.
That's it?
If you book a ride on a tiger, you
can't complain about its stripes.
I don't believe this.
I can't believe you
don't have a problem
Don't go there, Anna.
I don't take kindly to lectures
about what my reaction
should be to anything.
The fact is, this is a hard fight,
- and he's our dog.
- Our dog whistle, you mean.
He's fighting a battle
based on social conservatism.
I agree with much of that.
I don't support
the identity extremists either,
but where he crosses the line,
we rein him in.
I would say he is over the line,
- but still in earshot.
- Bollocks.
And that's what passes for debate
at St Paul's, is it?
Oh, spare me the self-made,
salt-of-the-earth patter, Joseph.
Keep the speech about your
hardworking mum for party conference.
A bit envious
cos I actually have an audience
bigger than one?
Joseph, could you excuse us
for a moment?
How much of this is
because it's Francine?
- What?
- How much would you be complaining
if it wasn't your friend?
Because I think you'd rather see her
back in Parliament
than our candidate.
In fact, if you lived in Kent,
I suspect you'd secretly vote
for her as well.
It's been well established
that I don't live in Kent,
I live in a box at the opera,
sneering at the proletariat
with the rest of the toffee-nosed crew.
This is so totally not the issue.
Isn't it?
We cannot lose this seat, Anna, not now.
We're living through
some crazy undeclared war
where we don't even know
what the enemy wants.
The whole country is bubbling
with rumours
and suspicions fed by an internet
that we cannot even begin
to compete with.
So, I'm sorry, I'm really fucking
sorry, if your liberal sensibilities
have been offended by
a heat-of-the-battle remark
about your precious little friend.
But this is politics. It's tough.
And it's going to get tougher.
They were your sensibilities once,
Tough shit. This is now.
If you can't get in line with that
Then, what?
Then, what?
Hello, Anna.
He's died.
Don't bother going in, Tina.
There's none left.
You can have a couple
of bottles of mine.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, thanks.
I'm still drinking tap water as you
can probably tell by my lizard tail.
Oh, same old Cary. Everything's a joke.
Same old Linda. Believe any old shit
she reads on the World Wide Web.
There are kids dying, Cary.
- One kid has died.
- And that makes it OK?
Course it's not OK.
But we weren't always this crazy.
What the hell are we all coming to?
Come on, let's go.
He's not in a good place.
I've never seen him so paranoid.
Or tetchy.
His wife?
Both his marriages are looking shaky.
I have been speaking to my equivalent
at the American Embassy.
The imagination boggles. What's he like?
She is a female John Bolton who also
has a PhD in geopolitical balancing.
The Americans are very keen
we don't escalate things further.
Maybe we should blow up
half of Kentucky in revenge.
Things are extremely delicate
in the South China Sea.
They think Beijing is about
to make a big, aggressive move.
And you think this might
be connected to all that?
I don't know.
But I think a cyber war on a weak
country might not even be connected
to any specific thing we did
or could control.
And that's the terrifying part.
We are not weak.
We are significant, but not sovereign.
In their eyes,
sovereign is being able to survive
without a bigger boy
looking after you. And we can't.
Hmm. Better go and eat worms?
This water situation is terrifying.
That they can confect such panic
out of nothing.
- The kid died.
- One kid, though.
And God knows how he actually got it.
The rest is all smoke and mirrors.
We think an outsourced rogue nation
hit the water supply,
and a Russian hand is
pulling the Firestorm strings.
Hmph. If we are on our own,
attacked by all sides now
we need a strong figure
on the bridge,
not someone beset by paranoia.
You never fall out with him.
I mean, we squabble
a bit but not like this.
Not when he threatens to
How's everything else?
Everything else.
hot flushes.
- Ah.
- Absolute torment.
They should call it something far worse.
But even that's not the main thing.
What's the main thing?
This just isn't how
I thought I would get old.
I thought it would be graceful.
They keep
mocking me for being this sneering
elitist Brahmin, and I..
I sometimes feel as if
I am looking at myself
and thinking, "The absolute
state of you, love."
Now Robert says I would rather you
were elected than our candidate,
- and you know what?
- He's right?
You would. I mean, good.
Because Roger Hawkins
is a weapons-grade prick.
A prick that might lead
to me losing my job.
Come and work for me, then.
I saw this thing.
It said that Joseph Obasi was gonna
be the first black Prime Minister.
Yeah, he's a piece of work, too.
He is what he is. But I thought,
"Not on my watch, mate."
I'm taking this all the way.
First black Prime Minister
isn't going to be a man.
- Just one problem.
- Mm?
You've got to get your party to
accept a woman as leader first.
You asked me to come
and work for you once.
"Change your life, Anna.
That party doesn't have room
for people like you anymore.
Come and work with me."
Do not say you were not warned.
They are poisoning the children
with modified water.
These are the facts.
The sick children have suffered
a rare side effect
and are collateral damage.
Something has been placed
in the water supply
to adjust the minds of young people
and make them more
susceptible to quantum
Oh, God.
This will get my sister-in-law going.
You know what you have to do.
Fight fire with fire!
You know what the targets are!
A thousand sparks create a firestorm!
Burn it all down!
Burn it down!
Burn it down! Burn it down!
Burn it down!
Burn it down! Burn it down!
Burn it down!
Don't do this.
It's madness.
Please, come home!
For fuck's sake. Stop it!
Tina, stop it.
This has to stop now.
I'm scared.
I know.
I'm so sick of it.
I am so sick of being scared.
I don't want Danny to die.
He's at home in his bedroom on his
PlayStation. He's not going to die.
Your hands.
I love you.
That's all we need, isn't it?
B-Side - Baby, You're A Rich Man.
I told you not to drink that water.
Take me home.
- Thank you.
- No worries.
Have you seen the TV?
They're burning things down in Kent.
It's like anarchy. Really scary.
What the fuck are you even doing?
One: don't swear at me.
Two: don't say "even" in that context.
Three: Don't put crap like this
in the window.
- Wait, wait, wait
- Don't you "wait" me.
Quantum fucking algorithms.
It doesn't mean anything!
They burned down Francine's
election offices in Kent.
So what?
The planet's been burning
for long enough.
All the political parties are the same.
Maybe people will listen for a change.
This is completely insane.
Serious arson attacks in Kent overnight.
Shops, especially chemists,
and a couple of GP surgeries.
Local government buildings,
even a few police stations.
Phone masts were also attacked.
The casualties largely in flats
above properties stand at five.
All this was achieved with lies
about a quantum algorithm.
All the main news outlets
have carried reports
that the water is safe, but er
people are still burning things.
There's something deep-rooted
in the national psyche
when it comes to arson. I'm sure
it gets the dopamine flying.
There's a Firestorm meme
doing the rounds.
Yeah, I've seen it.
Our candidate in Kent
has retweeted it in an attempt
Tell him to delete that immediately.
We have.
He has so far failed to respond.
That tiger ride is going smoothly, then.
Seriously. He's posting stuff
probably spread by a hostile force.
Not very local, is it?
- She's right.
- It's definitely an attack line.
- I'll deal with it.
- Can I posit a scenario?
What happens if he goes so
far that we have to suspend him?
It's too late
to nominate another candidate.
This is the masterplan, then, is it?
We have to stop this.
No more revenge attacks
on banks and assets, though.
That clearly has just fed the beast.
The Americans have
made it clear that they
Fuck the Americans.
They're probably watching this shitshow
with as much interest as anyone else.
Organise a press conference for 4pm.
Time to go public
with who we think is behind this.
We present a committed face.
I think the Home Secretary would be
better in the circumstances.
Fine. We'll do a joint conference.
- Ever been in the Foreign Office, Rog?
- Can't say I have.
Splendid, isn't it?
Fruitier than Carmen Miranda's hat.
Now I need you to do me
a bit of a favour.
- What's that?
- Stop being a cunt.
- I'm sorry?
- Big ask, I know.
It doesn't matter if a Crypto-communist
like Anna Marshall doesn't care for you.
That's a given. But if you lose Joe
Obasi, you're on shaky ground.
- I think I can handle him.
- Do you, now?
I do, yes, but thanks for the
advice, Archie, all the same.
Well, look,
let me float a different scenario.
What do you think happens
if you lose me?
The Home Secretary asked you
to delete the meme.
So delete the meme.
It's not an endorsement.
I just like it.
It's garbage,
but that's neither here nor there.
Delete the meme and apologise.
No wonder people say
you're a spent force.
People say that, eh?
Have you ever heard that,
when you're racing the dawn
back to the crypt, Motty?
No. I've heard you called lots
of things, Archie, but not that.
Be sure to tell me if you do.
Would you care to put it to the test?
What's your game, Roger?
My game?
I would really advise you not
to play with matches, my friend.
But I'm not your friend, Archie.
He's not going to delete it.
- Maybe Anna is right.
- What?
Call Division 45. Archie's been hacked.
Why did you forgo the opportunity
to appear on the podium
alongside the PM later?
I have to go to Scotland.
It's not like you to shun the limelight.
What are you scheming at now,
you crafty
It's the anniversary of my son's death.
Marianne and I always go to
the site to lay a wreath.
- I didn't know.
- Because I don't talk about it much.
He was on a Royal Marines live-fire
training exercise.
Nobody's fault.
But, anyway Stephen died.
I'm very sorry.
Yes, it was sad.
Keep an eye on his social media
because I can definitely
smell smoke rising
from under Roger Hawkins' feet.
What's going on?
- Security says you're
- I have to go. I can't stay.
- Or I will go insane.
- Go where?
I'm going to go and visit Ellie
in Chile.
No, no, no. Chile's not safe.
Why not? Some of those arsonists
were wearing masks with my face on them.
Wicked Witch T-shirts. It
We're gonna go horse-riding
in the Andes,
- and you know, just
- You, Ellie and the Anarchist.
It's like the High Chaparral.
The Anarchist is ancient history.
And nobody remembers the High Chaparral.
Well, I do.
It was Anna's suggestion, actually.
- And, you know, suddenly I thought
- You spoke to Anna?
Yeah. She suggested
going to visit Ellie just to
- Well, it's a sensible idea
- You talked to Anna before me?
Yeah, but it wasn't like that.
Oh, this is great.
This really is revenge.
You have to hand it to her.
She knows how to stab
from every direction.
- Rob, no, we were just talking and
- I've lost her loyalty.
It's gone.
All because I reinstated Archie
and overruled her on Hawkins.
She's a fucking mole.
She's working for them.
For the opposition.
So, as we await the
government press conference
on the wave of arson attacks last night,
I can confirm that Roger Hawkins,
the Conservative candidate in Kent,
has not deleted a tweet associated
with the Firestorm campaign.
And in a move likely to deeply
embarrass the Prime Minister
he has also said he will not be
drinking tap water as a precaution.
Hawkins is going to flip on us.
I think you're right.
That was a good point earlier
about the opposition
using the attack line against us.
Anyone might think it was something
you did in your spare time.
Don't worry. If I were going
to do that, I would make sure
- I was handsomely paid for it.
- Don't ever speak to my wife again!
Erm shall we discuss
how we parcel this out?
- I think you need to lead with
- No, no, it's OK, Anna.
We have this. Why don't you
just go off and leak to Francine?
- What?
- Fidelity.
It never was your strong suit, was it?
Fuck you, Robert!
- You're fired.
- No, I resign.
You know what that means, don't you?
The multi-headed dog that stands
at the gates of hell.
Get me the Prime Minister immediately.
He's about to do the news conference.
Stop him.
Get the Prime Minister.
Good afternoon, everyone.
Justice for Simon. Vote nobody.
Hit back hard.
I have to go. Or I will go insane.
She's a fucking mole.
Fuck you, Robert! I resign!
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