Cold Feet (1997) s05e06 Episode Script

- Thanks for staying.
- Are you sure you're going to be OK? Well, l haven't cried yet today, have l? lt's only early.
(Chuckles) - Call me any time.
- Thanks.
l'll see you little monsters on Wednesday.
- Come here, darling.
- Bye! (Mobile ringtone) VOlCEMAlL: You have one new message.
ROB YN: Hi, it's me.
Look, l think l might go to bed.
Give me a call if you're not coming over.
OK, bye.
Oh, blast.
(Makes airplane noises) (Makes machine-gun noises) (Makes explosion noise) - How's it going in here, then? - We're re-enacting the Second World War.
Americans against the English.
- lt's a loose translation of history.
- Yeah, right.
(Makes gunfire noises) - Me and Jo are thinking of starting a family.
- Oh, yeah? l don't hold out much hope, though.
You know, years of self-abuse.
Well, we managed it all right.
Not a second time, though.
So, how long have you and his dad been an item? He's a she.
Oh, bloody hell! No wonder you've been so cagey about it! No! He's a she! Her dad's a bloke obviously! - You thought l'd become a lesbian? - You may have.
You never know.
l may have ruined you for other men.
Well, you turned me off 'em for a while, l'll say that.
(Makes engine noises) Sorry we didn't manage to have another.
Ey, we were already going wrong.
You can't use kids as sticking plaster.
- What do you want to do for lunch? - Sh! Pub? Adam, l think it's time we had a little talk.
ls this about Bechcam? Because, l admit, l haven't finished the report.
Or started it.
Well, l've had a lot on, not least, the system audit.
You've done the system audit? lt's about this.
Your write-up of the Scanbro P20.
Oh, yes, that's what l've been doing.
ls there a problem with it? ''As well as a touch-pad, the P20 has a port for an external mouse.
Rachel hated mice.
Dirty, little creatures.
'' Go home, Adam.
That's an order.
l could have phoned you.
l'm sorry, l forgot.
- You don't mind? - What, that you didn't ring? No, that l spent the night at my wife's, the woman you're helping me to divorce.
Please.
Your friend's just died.
Her best friend.
l'd have to be pretty churlish to mind.
- But you do.
- No.
Well, a bit.
l'm jealous, l suppose.
- And l'm a bit nervous.
- What about? That you might start wanting her again.
Then you'd call off the divorce and l wouldn't get paid.
l thought your fees were non-refundable.
lt's just a difficult time for her, that's all.
And for all of us.
l just don't know what's wrong with me.
l mean, Adam .
.
that's her husband - he's handling this a lot better than l am.
- ln what way? - Well, for a start, he's not here, is he, wading his way through a second box of tissues? l'm sorry.
lt's all right.
l buy them in bulk.
l just don't feel like l've got a right to be this upset.
- You shouldn't grieve more than her husband? - Well, he was her husband.
And they've got this beautiful baby.
l'm sure he is grieving.
But we all do it differently.
l know one woman, a month after her husband died, she went scuba diving in the Maldives.
Well, it was something they'd always planned to do, but never got around to.
Maybe she was glad her husband died.
No.
l miss him terribly.
The thing is, not to be consumed by grief.
Grieve, yeah.
But live too.
lsn't that what your friend would want? Yeah.
l mean, what am l supposed to do? They say, ''Don't come in until you're over it,'' but l am over it.
How do l convince them? RACHEL: lt might help if you could give ''it'' a name.
Your death.
Just cos l don't burst into tears at the mention of you.
No, you just mention me in memos.
Oh, yeah.
(Laughs) That was a bit unfortunate.
- But you always did hate mice.
- Oh, l still do.
(Doorbell) - Oh, no! l don't want company.
- Who is it? - l don't know.
The thing is, l wanted a quiet night.
- That's all right.
We're not stopping.
- Just for curry.
- l've already eaten.
JEN: Oh, yeah? What? Kebab, on the way home.
- That's all right, you can watch us.
- Fancy a beer? (Doorbell) Hi.
l was just passing.
Hi.
Didn't know you were here.
- Really? - (Doorbell) Hello, Adam.
How are things? - Crowded.
- Sorry? This is Robyn.
l wanted you to meet her.
ls now a good time? - Yes, come in.
This should be interesting.
- ln what way? ADAM: Hope you've brought enough curry.
DAVlD: Good heavens.
And Karen.
You all know David.
And this is Robynhis girlfriend.
- Have you heard Ramona's news? - No.
- She's getting married.
- To Lee? What's he like? Well, he's all right, but Jo knows him better.
Well, not really, l mean He's a work colleague.
l'm sorry about that scene in your lawyer's office.
lt was nothing personal.
lt was, from where l was sitting.
Yeah.
Let's not mention it again, eh? - Are we out of beers? JEN: l don't know.
Wine? Oh, Christ, l'm sorry! Adam! - Where is he? - l think he went to change Matthew.
That was half an hour ago.
- You ought to go down.
- l don't want to.
- lt's antisocial.
- l didn't invite them.
Adam.
Are you OK? - Shouldn't l be? - No.
ls that why you're all here, then? lt wasn't just a coincidence, you passing, David showing off his girlfriend? No, Adam, we're here because we're concerned about you.
Right.
Right, well, Karen and l have had a little chat.
l'd like to thank you for your concern.
lt's very touching.
But can l now politely ask you all to piss off and leave me alone? Maybe l wasn't clear enough.
- We know what you're going through.
- No, you don't, Jenny.
You haven't got the first fucking clue.
Nobody does.
Yet they tell you how to behave.
You mustn't work, you haven't cried.
There are no rules! Just let me deal with it in my own way, OK? Just go, will you? That could have gone better.
lt'll be easier for you next time you meet them.
- l meant, for your friend Adam.
- Oh.
- But yeah.
- Yeah.
He called me your girlfriend.
What do you prefer? Partner? Bird? (Both laugh) l don't suppose Karen and l will ever really get on.
- Give her time.
- Are we looking that far ahead? l prefer it when it's just us.
Me too.
Oh, God, look at my hair! Oh, 'ey, and Adam, when he had some.
ls that Adam? - Yeah.
He always fancied himself.
- Let's see.
Looks like he's got a woolly hat on.
That's the sixth form disco, that.
- 1 985.
- Was it fancy dress? BOTH: No.
Oh, The Smiths! They were my favourite band.
- No, they weren't.
- Yes, they were.
Morrissey was cool.
He was.
You weren't.
We've got photographic proof there.
- He liked Wham! Andrew Ridgeley.
- And The Smiths.
Look, sorry.
This must be dead boring for you.
No, you're all right.
l might just make a coffee.
- Oh, l'll have one.
- Hm.
JEN: Tea, please.
lt's Rachel.
Matthew! Would you leave your mother alone? Oh, come here.
Look at the mess.
Look at you.
She's all over you.
Dear, dear God.
Come here.
Sit down thereand behave yourself.
Honestly.
- (Gurgles) - Aye.
Very good.
Did you roll all the way over here? l'm going to have to keep an eye on you, boy.
(Gurgles) Rachel.
Rachel? Look.
Oh, he's crawling.
He just started a minute ago.
Oh, l would have loved to have seen that.
(Sobs) So, have you set a date yet? - No.
We no can agree.
- Well, that's a good start.
(Doorbell) Hello.
(Sobs) l can't believe she's gone.
l really can't believe it.
At home, l keep thinking l hear her, but it's just the house shifting.
Maybe it can't believe she's gone either.
l thought it would be easier if l went back to work, l wouldn't think about her as much.
l spent most of the day phoning home.
Just to hear her voice.
RACHEL ON ANSWERPHONE: Hello.
There's nobody in to take your call, so leave a message after the beep and we shall call you back.
Bye! (Beep) l miss her so much.
l know.
l talk to her, you know.
All the time.
- Yeah, me too.
- Really? Especially when l'm shopping.
She was good at shopping.
lf l'm in two minds about something, she makes me buy it.
l had a row with her the other day.
How weird is that? What scares me most .
.
is the time l don't talk to her any more.
That won't happen, Adam.
She'll always be with us.
l've decided l want to scatter her ashes.
Portmeirion.
She said it was special.
l was hoping you lot would come.
Yeah, course.
This weekend? That leaves the rest of the week.
l don't want to be alone in the house any more.
- Sure you don't mind doing this? - No, of course not.
lt'll give Adam a chance to bond with his dad.
And Jo.
Yeah.
Apparently, they want to start a family.
Really? That's good.
They can try before they buy.
JO: l thought you liked burgers, Adam.
- l do! Well, that's a burger.
Maybe it tastes different from what he's used to.
Yeah, too close to meat.
l tell you what, let's all go out.
What do you fancy? Burger! l don't know, maybe l'm just not cut out to be a mother.
Other people's children are harder than your own.
l'm not Jenny, that's for sure.
- l must've been mad, inviting her to stay.
- No, just drunk.
She's not a threat, if that's what you're worried about.
No, l'm not worried about that.
- Do you think l should be? - No! Anyway, she's moved out.
Well, her and Pete, they do seem at ease with each other.
- They've got a lot of shared history.
- lncluding a kid.
Yeah, and a divorce.
- Karen! - Hi.
Just come to get some clothes.
Hello, Jo.
Hey, Ramona.
- We're getting married.
- Congratulations.
- Hi.
- Hey.
How are you doing? - Good.
- l miss you at work.
Different shift pattern.
- l'll be upstairs.
You coming up? - ln a minute.
Hello? Kerry, hi.
Yeah, that should be fine.
l'll just check my diary.
You changed your shifts on purpose, didn't you? - Don't flatter yourself.
- Yeah, you did.
- l'm free on Saturday.
- Well, l'm not.
Anyway, didn't Ramona say you were getting married? We're engaged.
lsn't that the same thing? - So, what are you doing on Saturday? - Nothing.
Nothing with you.
lt was a mistake.
And it's not one that's going to be repeated.
Yep, Friday's fine.
lsn't it Jamie's birthday soon? Sorry, Kerry, yeah.
Yeah, l'll see you Friday.
Bye.
(Door slams) l can't bear to throw them out.
You don't want any of them, do you? l wouldn't fit into them, even if l wasn't pregnant.
Look, maybe you should give them to charity.
l know.
l know l should, but .
.
l can't bear to think of Rachel's life being bagged up and sold off cheaply at Oxfam.
l just think l prefer to have them hanging there.
Look, why don't we go through them together and then you can pick out what you want to keep? OK.
- Hello.
- Oh, hi.
- So you got my message? - All very mysterious.
- There are some people l want you to meet.
- ln the park? That's Josh, Ellie and Ollie.
Children, this is Robyn, Daddy's special friend.
- Say hello.
- Hello.
- l meant them.
- Ah.
Hello.
- Right, who wants an ice-cream? - Yeah! - Thank you, David.
- lt's only an ice-cream.
ls this rubbish or charity? No, no, no, no.
That has got to stay.
Really? Why? lt's the first present l ever bought her.
lt has lots of memories.
See that chip there? That's where she threw it at me.
(Gasps) - Are you all right? - Oh, yeah.
Ooh, just got a big kick.
So does your bloke not mind you being here, so close to the birth? No, no.
He's fine about it.
Actually Actually, he couldn't give a toss.
Huh? The baby's dad, he's my boss.
Blimey, that's a close working relationship.
Yeah, except it's not working cos .
.
cos we split up and then l quit.
Bloody hell.
So what about the limo at the funeral? Paid for it myself.
l wanted it to look like l was doing really well.
l didn't want people feeling sorry for me.
l think l'd cornered the market that day.
So are you going to go back to New York? l really don't know.
To be honest, l really don't know what l'm going to do.
God, l've made such a mess of this, haven't l? l could have stayed here with Pete.
l would have been happy.
You weren't happy.
l'm sure as hell not happy now.
Oh, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
l don't want to l don't want to stay in New York.
- And l can't come back here.
- Yes, you can.
Oh, yeah, as a failure, with my tail between my legs and up the duff? Come on.
Things are never as bad as they seem.
Believe me.
Oh, Jen, darling, don't cry, darling.
Déjà vu.
Yeah.
Good job we didn't go down that road, eh? Yeah.
- Do you want to sleep with me? - Adam, l'm seven months pregnant.
No.
l meansleep with me.
You could move in with me.
Eh? We're both single parents.
Little Adam would be near his dad, and we could help with each other's babies.
Adam, l hate to come between the pair of you, but - What? - Are you mad? - Why? - You and Jenny, living together.
l don't want to be here on my own.
- We'd just be friends.
- Yeah, right.
Look at you now.
Oh, come on.
There's nothing in it.
Do you mind? - Let me sleep on it, yeah? - Sure.
- Hi, Ramona.
- Hey.
Have you fallen out with Lee again? No.
l wait for you.
l want to ask you to be my maiden of honour.
- Oh, Ramona.
- lt's no big deal.
You organise my hen night - l want a stripper.
And erhelp me choose a dress.
What do you think of this one? You don't think you're rushing into this a bit? Come on, Karen, l no rush.
l am 30.
And then some.
No, l didn't mean that.
l mean, you said he was a ladies' man.
Yeah, he was.
l tame him.
OK, look, he flirt a bit.
Why? What are you saying? You think he not be faithful? You think he sleep with someone? - l didn't say - Who he sleep with? - l didn't say he had.
- But you know something.
Karen, you must tell me! Fine.
Then l go ask Lee.
Hey, Ramona, that is really not a very good idea! (Door slams) - Shit.
(Mobile rings) Hey, Karen.
Jo, that bloke you slept with - .
.
was it Lee? - Why do you ask? Jesus, Jo! Ramona's going to marry him.
They weren't engaged then.
lt was a mistake.
Yeah.
And marrying him would be.
Karen, l can't say anything to her.
What if Pete found out? Oh, God.
Does she know? Well, l may have Jo? Jo? Excuse me.
Mandy, do we have a number for Lee? Hang on.
- Why she think you having an affair? - l don't know.
- Wishful thinking? - Huh? - She's been giving me the eye recently.
- Who? Karen? lt happens with women of a certain age.
- (Sighs) - Look, she's got it all wrong.
l love you.
- Ramona, l've asked you to marry me.
- When? - The other day.
- No, when are we getting married? We not even set a date.
Well, there's no rush.
Next year.
Early next year? You'll be a spring bride.
So there is no other woman? Only my mum.
(Phone rings) - That's probably her now.
Hello? lt was her.
- My mother? - The woman you carrying on with! l'm not carrying on with anyone.
- Maybe it was a wrong number.
- Yeah? Then why she no say something? She want to speak to you! She don't want to talk to me! (Mobile ringtone) - ls that yours or mine? - Mine play the Macarena! Oh.
lt's Jo.
She probably wants to swap shifts.
- Hello.
- (Phone disconnects) Hello? Hi.
- Hey.
- Good day? - Were there any calls for me? - Nope.
(Doorbell) - l'll get it.
l might have a bath.
(Groans) - Hi, Ramona.
- Pete.
Hm! Oh, come on! Right.
(Tyres screech) (Horn blares) Jesus, those things are lethal! Oh, shit.
Oh, God.
Hiya.
You'll like Portmeirion.
lt's where they filmed The Prisoner.
Hi.
Everything OK? Right.
Good.
- Will you call me? - Of course.
As soon as you get there? Karen and l will be checking into our room then.
Aha! Very funny! Call me.
So what do you reckon? Walked into a door? Doors always get the blame.
Ask her.
l can't do that.
l'd be drawing attention to it.
lt sort of does that for itself.
Go on.
You know you want to.
So, that's quite a shiner you've got there, Jo.
Yeah.
- Door, was it? - Yeah.
Bollocks.
Looks like the others have already arrived.
- ls Ramona coming? - No, she's looking after all the kids.
- l could only get you a twin room.
- That'll be fine.
Uh - Hiya! - Hi.
- Pete? - Don't ask.
- Good journey? - Quiet.
- How did Jo - Door.
''The bell tower was one of the first buildings to be completed, in 1 928.
'' What? Well, it's just whenever we travelled anywhere, you always had your nose buried in a guidebook.
Well, you appreciate places far better if you know their history.
Yeah, and l did! l rather miss your quiz questions.
- You found them irritating.
- No, l didn't.
l pretended to find them irritating.
That was part of the game.
You always tried to trick me.
OK.
For five points.
No, ten.
Which famous stage play was written here? OK.
lt was for television .
.
and it wasThe Prisoner.
''lt was while staying in Portmeirion in 1 941 , that Noel Coward wrote Blithe Spirit.
'' - Ten points for me.
Yes! - That's not fair! Yeah? Uhl sawl saw Jo go out, and l saw you hadn't Come in.
(Seagulls cry) Thanks for bringing me back here.
lt seemed the obvious place.
l'm impressed you remembered.
Some things you never forget.
Hi.
Not disturbing you, am l? l'm just reminiscing.
lt wasn't a door.
Tell me something l don't know.
l l slept with Ramona's boyfriend.
Bloody hell! Bloody hell! - l'm ever so sorry, Pete.
- Yeah.
lt's great seeing you and the nipper again.
Yeah.
- A bit like old times, isn't it? - Almost.
l'll miss you when you go back, you know.
Actually, we're not going back.
- l'm on my own and all.
- Yeah? Yeah.
Long story.
l don't know what we're going to do, but Adam's asked me to move in with him.
He hates me, Adam.
l can't blame him.
Actually, l don't know what to do.
Oi! l want a word with you! - Oh, God.
- Pete, let's go inside.
- Not you.
Him.
- Me? - What have l done? - Your arm's round my wife.
- She was upset.
- She cheated on me! l wasn't condoning her behaviour.
Oh, the old shoulder to cry on.
You've taken my stuff since we were kids! - What? - Manchester United! l supported them, then suddenly you're a fan! Half of Manchester supports United! Half the world! - The Smiths.
- You preferred Wham! - Jen.
- Jen? - Rachel barely gone, and you cop off with Jen.
- Pete, that's enough.
He's setting up home with her! With my kid! As stepdad! ln time, he'll take your name! Which he's already got! That's how close we were! Pete, you're upset.
lt's understandable.
Wise up! Adam, screw up your life if you want to, but don't screw mine up.
Cos l can do it myself.
- Oh, come on.
Close enough.
- No, no.
Five points to me.
l prefer asking the questions.
Well, as a control freak, you would, wouldn't you? What, me? - Who always drove? - Who always packed? - Bad example.
- Yeah.
ln bed, who always liked to go on top? Ah-ah.
Liked me to go on top.
Ah, the children would love it here, wouldn't they? l think they'd love it anywhere we were together.
Just here, thanks.
OK.
So why doesn't erJo sit next to Pete Um Why don't we just split the couples up? You've done a pretty good job of that already.
- So, um, Pete next to Adam - What? Why don't we all sit where we want? lmight justget something sent to the room.
l'm not really very hungry anyway.
Wait.
Wait! You're not going anywhere.
l've had just about enough of this.
Since we got here, the one person we've never mentioned is Rachel.
Pease try and remember why we are here and just sit down.
Jesus.
Jo, come here.
Petel don't want to fall out with you.
Rachel was the most important person in my life.
But in terms of who comes next well, there's Matthew, of course.
- That goes without saying.
JEN: And your dad.
- What? - Your dad.
Yeah.
OK.
Now there's Dad.
But then there's you.
You're my oldest friend.
l've already lost one of the top three, l don't want to lose another.
l was fourth.
Not since Rachel died.
l would never do anything to hurt you.
Dennis Law? Dennis Law.
Right.
Let's order.
Oh, yeah.
Um, Any Other Business.
l have arranged wake-up calls for us in the morning.
lt's an early start.
COLDPLAY: The Scientist Come up to meet you Tell you l'm sorry You don't know how lovely You are l had to find you Tell you l need you Tell you l set you apart Tell me your secrets And ask me your questions Oh, let's go back to the start Running in circles Coming in tails Heads are a science apart Nobody said it was easy l'm so glad you're here.
Rachel and l will always have Portmeirion.
lt's where Matthew was conceived.
We can't be sure, but we like to think so.
Because in every other respect .
.
that weekend was perfect.
lt was our happiest time together.
Rachel brought out the best in me .
.
made me better than l was on my own.
l don't want to say goodbye to her.
But l have to, because she's gone.
l love you, Rach.
More than you'll ever know.
Rest easy, my darling.
Not much to show for a life, is it? Actually, umthat might be my fault.
Slight accident when we were in the pub.
l wouldn't worry about it.
Matthew knocked her over.
l spilt her in the car, all over the back seat.
The back seat? - So, that's quite a shiner you've got there, Jo.
- Yeah.
Door, was it? Come on.
Let's have breakfast.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
l want a divorce.
- You're not arguing? - Would there be any point? No.
Might make me feel better.
l'm sorry, Pete.
l really blew it.
Well, we never really stood a chance, did we? Maybe.
lf we hadn't rushed into it.
Maybe.
Well, l guess l'll pack.
You don't have to move outimmediately.
Where will you go? Home.
Jo? You can come in if you like.
The children would like to see you.
OK.
- How were the kids? - Yeah, good as gold.
- And you? - Oh, well.
You know.
- Well, thank you for covering.
- That's OK.
So how was it? lt was good.
Well, you excuse me, l'm going to go to my room.
Sure.
Anything for me? ln a way, yeah.
Our divorce.
Oh, l just don't know what to do, Pete.
lt's like the divorce has wiped the slate clean, and we're free to start again.
Portmeirion showed that we could do that.
And there are the children.
And then l think of Robyn.
You know, we're just starting out, and it's got all the mad, heady excitement of something new.
And you just wonder what's going to replace that when it's worn off.
- Spoilt for choice, aren't you? - Yeah.
Between a future l sort of know, and a future l don't.
Well.
You can always get with one, and cheat on her with the other.
What? Look, suppose you were going out for dinner tonight.
Do you know which one you would want it to be? Yeah.
Good! Well, there you are.
- Pint? - Yeah, cheers.
Hi, it's me.
Bit short notice, but do you fancy dinner tonight? (Doorbell) - Hey! - Dad! Hi.
Um We've left Adam's.
And he wanted to stay with his dad.
l didn't think you'd mind.
And obviously l can go to my mum's, but you know how l feel about that.
And l was wondering .
.
if you were wanting some company .
.
basically.
(Sneezes) - Hello? - Daddy? Hi.
lt's your family.
How are you, son? Adam? Do you want to say hello? - lt's Grandpa.
- Who's that? - Ah, hello, wee man! - Say hello to Grandpa.
Are you beating your daddy up? ls he eating the phone, or what? You look lovely.
l've missed you.
Me too.
So, we can take the children camping here, in the Sierra de Guadarrama Oh, no! We go to Siguenza, near Madrid.
My grandmother, she live there.
Now she is crazy.
And my cousin can lend us his car.
We'll be like Don Quixote and Sancho Panza.
Ha! Or Thelma and Louise! So! What do you want to do now? Watch a vid, or strip to the waist and wrestle? Pete.
You're all right about the baby and that? lt'll be nice.
The patter of tiny feet.
Well, give her time, love.
People who don't know, they're they're bound to think she's yours, you know.
Yeah? - That's the last of it, l think.
- OK.
l'll just be a minute.
- No milk? - No fridge.
- Aha.
Fridge.
- Oh, and the loo doesn't flush properly.
- Oh, l'm already onto that.
- You fixed it? - No, but l've made a note to.
- Ha, ha.
- You know what l'm looking forward to most? - What? Not having to be apart again.
Mmm.