Comic Book Men s05e11 Episode Script
Insta-Ming
1 Would you rather be the captain of the "Millennium Falcon" or the "Starship Enterprise"? Well, Han was a smuggler, so that's what the Millennium Falcon was built for, right? - Right.
- It's a smuggling ship And the other one was built to fly around and do what? Be boring.
[all laugh.]
Well, go where no man has gone before.
- That's kind of cool.
- Yeah, but come on, man.
There's just too many rules and regulations that come with commanding a starship.
I would actually want to be captain of the Millennium Falcon, and, you know, not have to answer to the Federation.
Got yourself a rebel right here, man.
[all laugh.]
There is one rule I would implement on the Millennium Falcon.
- Yes.
- Chewbacca has to wear clothes.
No more of this just running around naked, you know, leaving Chewbacca balls all over the seats.
What kind of rebels are we now? That's like saying if you brought your dog with you you're like, "Put some pants on him.
" [all laugh.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
[upbeat music.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that pleasures itself with a Vibranium vibrator.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Okay, man.
What was the hat trick of this week.
Something came in that is at the top of the list now as the hottest book.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, how you doing? Looking to sell my "Batman Adventures" 12.
Oh, whoa! First appearance of Harley Quinn.
Oh, man.
[upbeat music.]
- This is the hottest book? - Yeah.
It's the first appearance of Harley Quinn in comic book form.
What's her real first appearance? - The animated series, correct? - Correct.
Right now, she's numero uno.
There is a bandwagon to be jumped on.
Yeah, some might say there's definitely a bandwagon.
You know who was on the bandwagon before anybody? - Who's that? - This guy right here.
Yeah.
Kevin was even going so much as to naming his daughter Harley Quinn.
Yeah.
If there's one guy who doesn't have to get off the bandwagon, it's him, and I'm not just saying that 'cause he signs my check.
- No, no, you're 100% correct.
- Battling against me.
Let me get that brown off your nose.
Hold on.
Leave it on! Harley Quinn the character has just exploded.
She's eclipsed Batman and the Joker at this point.
She's the biggest selling book at DC.
It's taken off.
Character has been around since '92.
When I named my daughter Harley Quinn 16 years ago, I'd say, "Hey, my daughter's name is Harley," and they'd be like, "Oh, you ride, man? You ride?" I'd have to be like, "No, it's the Joker's sidekick and stuff.
" Yeah! Bam! "Oh!" [all laugh.]
What defies the odds in becoming one of the hottest characters in comics is the fact that she's a villain, Most of the time, the villains, you know, I mean, they can get popular, but usually, they don't get their own book or splashed on every piece of merchandise that's out there.
I mean, anything and everything has a Harley Quinn picture on it now.
I think part of it is the outfit.
She has a variety of different outfits.
There's a leather outfit.
She has a nurse outfit.
Which outfit do you prefer? I think I like the leather outfit.
It kinda looks like Sort of, like, bondage.
- Bondage.
- And, like, a corset.
- Kinky.
- Yeah.
- Stupid question, huh? - No.
[all laugh.]
Which Harley Quinn do you prefer? The classic Harley Quinn or the heroine chic Harley Quinn? I gotta be honest with ya, and this is where I show my age and where I feel like an old man.
I like her in the full leotard the way she was introduced in the cartoon.
The first time I saw her in the kind of, you know, skimpier outfits and stuff, I was like, "This is not for children!" [all chuckle.]
So why are you looking to sell it? I don't think it's hit its apex yet, has it? - No, I don't believe so either.
- So why now then? I'm looking to buy my girlfriend an exotic kitten.
An exotic kitten.
It's like a mix between a bulldog, pug and a cat.
Fat, lazy, no ears.
- So she wants a grumpy cat? - Basically.
And what does a grumpy cat go for at this point.
Probably runs about $1,000.
- $1,000.
- Yeah.
For a kitten? Who am I to judge.
Last year, I spent $3,000 on a dog.
- But he's not grumpy.
- [all laugh.]
I don't need a cat.
I look over at him.
- I know.
- We got grumpy Bryan over here.
- Grumpy Bry.
- Yeah.
Oh, all right.
How much are you looking to get for this? - $1,000.
- $1,000.
It's enough to buy the cat.
That's tough.
I don't think I could go that high.
Would you take $600.
[sighs.]
That's a lot for that book.
$950.
[tense music.]
$650.
[sighs.]
I don't know.
I don't think I could do it.
- $700.
- Would you do $900? I can't go any higher than $700.
I mean, the only reason I'm even considering $700 is because it's nuclear.
- Might have to pass.
- Really? Kitten will have to wait.
So when you go home and tell your girlfriend "No cat and turned down $700 for a comic," she's gonna be happy to hear that? No.
I have the smartest boyfriend ever.
[all laugh.]
- Oh, wow! - It's tough.
- Best of luck, though.
- Thank you very much.
- Have a good day.
- Thanks.
I got a run of the first few issues of "Fangoria" magazine.
Oh, that is badass.
Ming, I want to show you the coolest space figures that ever was.
What are you doing? Smile.
Look over and smile.
- No! What are you doing? - [camera clicks.]
- I'm taking a selfie.
- [camera clicks.]
Just trying to get a couple more followers.
I'm almost at 58,000.
I get 300 more, I'll be right up there.
So take one of yourself then.
I'm working.
[camera clicks.]
I have never met anybody who is so fascinated with any trend or bandwagon.
He's right there.
Yeah, man.
I'm with it.
So recently, I acquired something that's been sweeping the country.
An item that has given me the ultimate freedom I believe.
- The selfie stick.
- The ultimate freedom? [both laugh.]
It sounds like a tampon commercial.
[all laugh.]
[fast-paced bass.]
Hey, how you doing? Hey, good.
Do you guys buy monster mags? Yeah, sure.
What do you got? Well, I got a run of the first few issues of "Fangoria" magazine.
I remember these.
Remember "Fangoria," Mike? Of course.
All right, so let's see what issues you got here.
You got a 1, 2, 3, no 4.
We got a 5, a 6, and an 8.
Okay.
This is the issue where it really got its footing as a horror mag.
How do you look at this magazine, see this image, and go, "I don't want to see a movie called 'Zombie'"? It gives you such hope, right? [all laugh.]
Some early "Fangos" came through the door.
Fango, kids.
That's the lingo.
That's a true "Fangoria" fan, man.
Only your mom called it "Fangaria" or something like that.
[all laugh.]
Where'd you get 'em all? I've been seriously collecting since I was, like, 13.
I'm huge monster guy.
I love horror.
Obviously, I love "Fangoria.
" I believe it was issue 20, I discovered "Fangoria.
" I fell in love with it.
I was like, "I'm gonna go back.
I'm gonna buy all the 'Fangorias.
'" Then I saw prices for issue 9.
It was like 50 bucks.
That's the rarest one.
My mom would never allow me to pay 50 bucks for a magazine.
- What about today? - I think she would.
[all laugh.]
I loved "Fangoria" as a kid.
It was porn if you loved horror movies.
Now you can go online and you can look this stuff up in a second, but this at that point was the only place to go for it, man.
So when it came to the newsstand, or if you were a lucky rich kid and you get a subscription, you were in the know! You could sit and hold court in the classroom about, like, "You know what's coming? 'Halloween 2.
'" They're like, "What? How is he alive?" [all laugh.]
I don't remember this movie.
"Arabian Adventure"? It's just a Christopher Lee movie.
I think they just wanted to get Christopher Lee on the cover.
- Aw! "Prophecy"? - ManBearPig from "Prophecy.
" - The BearPig? - ManBearPig.
Yeah.
That's Talia Shire, right? - Yeah.
- That was her second best role.
Really, not "Godfather," not "Rocky.
" [laughs.]
Second! I said second! I'm leaving you guessing which one number one is.
All right.
So we're thinking that she's better in "Prophecy" than "Godfather" or "Rocky.
" [laughter.]
Um, what are you looking to get for 'em.
- 50 bucks apiece.
- Six times five, that's 300.
- 300 bucks? - 300, yeah.
That's a little high, don't you think? Did you look these up lately.
- We got wiggle room.
- Okay.
If I were to go online, I'm sure we could find these for, like, 20 bucks a pop.
Maybe not number 1.
Maybe number 1.
Honestly, I believe we could sell number 1 here.
I think we can get $30 for this, maybe $15 each, or I don't know how much this one's going for.
You know, the "Zombie" cover.
I think you could probably get $50 for number 1.
- In that condition? - This is maybe a "fine".
This has got some smudging on the It does have some issues.
Uh, that's gonna be a tough sell.
I mean, I'm looking in the area of 40 bucks.
- For the lot? - For the lot, yeah.
Um, I could maybe go 20 apiece.
I think I could do $60 for the lot then.
Okay, all right.
I understand, I mean You know, considering what I'm gonna sell 'em for, I don't think I'm gonna get anywhere near what you're asking for.
Um, I I'll probably hang onto them then and just try to trade 'em for other issues that I don't have.
Okay.
Thanks for bringing 'em in, man.
Of course, yeah, no.
It was cool to see these again.
Yeah, I appreciate talking to you guys.
All right, man.
Have a great day.
- All right.
- Take it easy, man.
I got some Flash Gordon 1979 action figures.
Holy mackerel! I've never seen these before.
The only way you can get "NeverEnding Story" figures - Are these.
- Is on the black market.
Exactly.
You got your horror movies, you got your thrillers, but you got that subcategory that means the most: splatter movies, man.
Favorite splatter movie.
For me, hands down, gotta be "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" Toby Hooper goes, "You know what? "I'm just gonna get graphic.
"I'ma put it in Texas, "and I'm gonna make it just a mind trip.
This family's gonna be nothing you've ever seen before.
" It's still a terrifying movie.
What about you? I'm gonna go with the John Carpenter's "The Thing.
" Nice pull, man.
When the creature's morphing out of the human remains.
You know, the spider head, uh Spider head Imagine you're a kid and, like, they show you a head getting ripped off, and you're like, "Well, that's fantastic.
" Then all of a sudden, legs pop out of the head, and it gets up and walks away like a spider, and they're trying to flame-throw it.
John Carpenter owned us with that.
What about you, Ming? Favorite splatter.
I'm gonna be honest with you; I don't know if I have one.
These one's that you tough boys have been watching.
Tough boys! Awe, man.
You made me feel macho, dude.
[all laugh.]
So the action figure sales are up.
Okay.
The Injustice, those high-end figures, they've been holding steady too.
Good.
Good to hear.
Uh, trade paperback sales are up at least 23%.
- Price gouge coming out - What are you doing? - Just keep working.
- [camera clicks.]
Ming, stop! You're like a 15-year-old girl.
Now knock it off.
Great, could you just look up again, Mike.
- Perfect.
Thanks.
- Imbecile.
- It's now affecting your work.
- How so? How so? All you're concerned with is - You're not working.
- [all laugh.]
Well, then I'm using it to promote the store.
Explain to us how you taking a picture of yourself, grinning ear to ear like some sort acid-laden gibbon and telling me how that helps you promote the store? I'll tell you, that came from deep.
I've known the dude over 25 years.
Never heard him call anybody an acid-laden gibbon.
[fast-paced rock.]
[register clicks.]
All right, have a great day, guys.
- Thanks, you too.
- All right.
Hey.
- Hi, how ya doing? - All right.
I got some Flash Gordon 1979, the animated series, action figures.
Remember this? Filmation, baby.
- Oh, yeah.
- Huh? Ming.
I wanna show you the coolest space figures that ever was.
'Cause it's not "Star Wars.
" It's not "Star Trek.
" It's right there.
It's this guy.
Your daddy's space hero: Flash Gordon.
And by daddy, he means granddaddy.
[all laugh.]
I imagine you hear "Flash Gordon.
" What do you think? You just think, like - Well, you know what he thinks.
- Yeah, come on.
- "Ming the Merciless! Der!" - Come on! Is he in oh! There he is! Eh? How come you don't grow out your facial hair like that? - I can't grow facial hair.
- [Walt laughs.]
If I could, I would totally rock this look.
Mike, if you were a good enough friend, you should shave all your body hair and donate it to Ming and just let him glue it to his face.
Glue it on? Or take it from the top of your head.
And all of a sudden, he's Ming and you're Zarkov.
[all laugh.]
Who else you got in here? Oh! Wha wh [all laugh.]
I have that exact same skirt.
I mean, this is some of the coolest cast of characters that were ever created.
It has everything.
It's got romance.
It's got intrigue.
It's got action.
It's got some of the most dastardly villains that ever were.
Darth Vader is a peon compared to Ming the Merciless.
Why hasn't J.
J.
Abrams done a new radio serial [all laugh.]
Of Flash Gordon.
I maintain without Flash Gordon, you don't have a Luke Skywalker today.
You're absolutely right about that.
George Lucas would be the first to tell ya Flash Gordon serials, that's what he was approximating, but instead he innovated and created a whole different mythology that, if you look at "Flash Gordon" and "Star Wars," you can't even see the connections, other than, like, space, weird planets, animals, evil lords, which I guess is everything in "Star Wars," now that I think about it.
"Boy, they owe Flash Gordon some money, man.
[all laugh.]
Where did you get these? Oh, back in K-Mart in the day, back when I was 13.
I ended up getting the whole collection.
So you're looking to sell these today? Yep, I'd like to get some extra money to take my wife to Las Vegas.
Mm, yeah, okay.
Well, what are you looking to get for it? - $75 I was hoping.
- $75, huh? I wanna cover my tolls as well as my gas.
[all laugh.]
Eight Flash Gordon figures, but they're loose.
They're loose.
Any chance you'd take $40? How 'bout, uh, $60? I mean, you know, I could do $60.
Okay.
[cash register whirring.]
All right, man, put it all on black for me.
- All right? - Thank you very much.
- All right, see yous later.
- Good luck.
Good luck.
Forget the figures.
To me, I'll bet you this is the rarest thing that has ever come Like, how many space cases are still around? Maybe we hit the jackpot.
Just stumbled into a gold mine.
Cha-ching! Very unlikely, no.
[laughter.]
Mexican bootleg figures from "The NeverEnding Story.
" Oh, my god.
I've never seen these before.
If you guys were to be put in prison for some reason and your cellmate is a supervillain, who's the supervillain you go with? I would want to go with someone like the Mole Man.
- The the blind guy who lived - Yeah, the squat guy.
You know, miles under the ground? - Yeah.
- Well, he could 'Cause he digs down and then you can escape? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'd be like "The Great Escape.
" Let's say some of the other super toughs in prison, you know, they see fresh meat, fresh fish.
- I that's what they say, right? - They do say it, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Old fishy Mike.
[laughter.]
I'm picking some An alien, because You know, somebody who's not interested in any kind of like "Oz" stuff.
- So I'm gonna go Brainiac.
- Okay.
You know, he's not physically going to overpower me, you know what I'm saying? - Right.
- You know where I'm going? Like Mole Man would overpower Mike? What do you got? General Zod from Superman.
He's got all the powers of Superman, and he he'd protect me.
You're making it too easy, though.
Yeah, it's a no-brainer.
Yeah.
Do you want me to kneel, Zod? [laughter.]
[upbeat music.]
Hey, how you doing, fellas? - Good how are you today? - What can we do for you today? Well, I brought in something fairly unique I wanted to show you, see if you're interested in.
Okay.
These are Mexican bootleg figures from the 1984 film "The NeverEnding Story:" the Rockbiter, Falkor, the G'mork, Bastian, Atreyu, and the signature piece, The Auryn.
Oh, my god.
I've never seen these before.
[upbeat music.]
- You guys are into this flick? - This was our childhood.
I mean, everyone's got that signature movie.
We watched this movie over and over again.
Oh, yeah.
Did they do legit figures that were released in America or No.
The only way you can get "NeverEnding story" figures Are these.
- Is on the black market.
- Exactly.
Bootleg figures that were just made in Mexico, so that's what makes them special.
Really? Contraband "NeverEnding Story"? Have you ever seen "NeverEnding Story" figures? Never.
I've No, I don't think they did a toy line.
So what, somebody in another country was like, "This is needed," and made their own? They muled 'em over the border.
[laughter.]
So why you looking to sell 'em now? Well, I'm getting into G.
I.
Joes, specifically preproduction.
And I mean, that's my passion, so I'm looking for some extra money to, you know, finance that.
Okay, you're look So you're looking to get preproduction G.
I.
Joes.
Like they're they go for money, right? Oh, they go for a hefty sum.
Goofy fast.
So, uh, what what do What do you need for these figures? I mean, what do they go for today? Well, you know, I've seen 'em go for $100 apiece.
- I know that's - Wow.
I think a fair offer would be 400 bucks.
- $400 for all of 'em, huh? - Yeah.
Any chance you'd take $200 for the lot? - [camera shutter clicks.]
- Oh, absolutely not.
I'm sorry.
I mean, I know you got to make some money, but I couldn't do $200.
Uh, I'm sorry.
Where was I at now? He actually pulled it out while I'm trying to conduct business, you know, negotiating a deal.
You're talking about the selfie stick still.
[laughter.]
He's making me, you know, lose my concentration.
You know, in the art of the deal, it's like high stakes poker.
I think I was well out of the way.
Do you see cameramen on the field filming athletes while they're performing? No, they're on the sidelines.
They're not in the athlete's way when they're trying to get the job done.
Yeah, come on.
Leave this athlete alone.
[laughter.]
Um, where was I at now? - Uh, you s - What'd you throw it out at? You were at $350.
No, I'm joking.
You were at $200.
I said $350.
You said $350, countered with $350, huh? I could do $250, but I think that's really all I can really invest in 'em.
I'm not entirely sure that I have you know, and have somebody gonna come in that's gonna want these.
I mean, $250's the best I can do.
What do you think? Yeah, I got to stay at $350.
I'm sorry.
All right, well, thanks for bringing 'em in.
I'm sorry.
No, that's understandable.
That's all right.
- It was neat seeing 'em.
- Yeah.
Appreciate your time.
Thanks a lot.
Background in color here.
And, uh No problem.
[laughter.]
All right, guys.
A no sale on the "NeverEnding Story" figures.
Look at the disappointment on Bryan Johnson's face.
Tell everybody what happened.
- Get close up and personal.
- Here.
Here.
- Let me hold it.
- Get me in here too, though.
What happened? What? - Come on.
- Take this.
Come on.
Give me that back.
What are you doing? - [metallic snap.]
- That.
Oh.
- [laughter.]
- What the hell? He just Bo Jackson'd it.
- [laughter.]
- There you go.
You owe me $15 for this.
- That was $15? - Yes.
Got it in Chinatown.
[laughter.]
I mean, you've ruined the art of the deal, dude.
- [laughter.]
- He's exaggerating.
I mean, I'm sorry if such a small thing distracted you or threw you off your game, but every time I posted a photo or video of us, I would I started blowing up.
[laughter.]
I mean, you wouldn't know this, 'cause you're not online, but this is what was happening.
- Walt is click bait? - Yeah.
[laughter.]
Oh, man, and just like a transformer, we got to Go-Bot out of here.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Never be afraid to look 'em right in the eye of Agamotto, kids.
Good night.
- It's a smuggling ship And the other one was built to fly around and do what? Be boring.
[all laugh.]
Well, go where no man has gone before.
- That's kind of cool.
- Yeah, but come on, man.
There's just too many rules and regulations that come with commanding a starship.
I would actually want to be captain of the Millennium Falcon, and, you know, not have to answer to the Federation.
Got yourself a rebel right here, man.
[all laugh.]
There is one rule I would implement on the Millennium Falcon.
- Yes.
- Chewbacca has to wear clothes.
No more of this just running around naked, you know, leaving Chewbacca balls all over the seats.
What kind of rebels are we now? That's like saying if you brought your dog with you you're like, "Put some pants on him.
" [all laugh.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
[upbeat music.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that pleasures itself with a Vibranium vibrator.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Okay, man.
What was the hat trick of this week.
Something came in that is at the top of the list now as the hottest book.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, how you doing? Looking to sell my "Batman Adventures" 12.
Oh, whoa! First appearance of Harley Quinn.
Oh, man.
[upbeat music.]
- This is the hottest book? - Yeah.
It's the first appearance of Harley Quinn in comic book form.
What's her real first appearance? - The animated series, correct? - Correct.
Right now, she's numero uno.
There is a bandwagon to be jumped on.
Yeah, some might say there's definitely a bandwagon.
You know who was on the bandwagon before anybody? - Who's that? - This guy right here.
Yeah.
Kevin was even going so much as to naming his daughter Harley Quinn.
Yeah.
If there's one guy who doesn't have to get off the bandwagon, it's him, and I'm not just saying that 'cause he signs my check.
- No, no, you're 100% correct.
- Battling against me.
Let me get that brown off your nose.
Hold on.
Leave it on! Harley Quinn the character has just exploded.
She's eclipsed Batman and the Joker at this point.
She's the biggest selling book at DC.
It's taken off.
Character has been around since '92.
When I named my daughter Harley Quinn 16 years ago, I'd say, "Hey, my daughter's name is Harley," and they'd be like, "Oh, you ride, man? You ride?" I'd have to be like, "No, it's the Joker's sidekick and stuff.
" Yeah! Bam! "Oh!" [all laugh.]
What defies the odds in becoming one of the hottest characters in comics is the fact that she's a villain, Most of the time, the villains, you know, I mean, they can get popular, but usually, they don't get their own book or splashed on every piece of merchandise that's out there.
I mean, anything and everything has a Harley Quinn picture on it now.
I think part of it is the outfit.
She has a variety of different outfits.
There's a leather outfit.
She has a nurse outfit.
Which outfit do you prefer? I think I like the leather outfit.
It kinda looks like Sort of, like, bondage.
- Bondage.
- And, like, a corset.
- Kinky.
- Yeah.
- Stupid question, huh? - No.
[all laugh.]
Which Harley Quinn do you prefer? The classic Harley Quinn or the heroine chic Harley Quinn? I gotta be honest with ya, and this is where I show my age and where I feel like an old man.
I like her in the full leotard the way she was introduced in the cartoon.
The first time I saw her in the kind of, you know, skimpier outfits and stuff, I was like, "This is not for children!" [all chuckle.]
So why are you looking to sell it? I don't think it's hit its apex yet, has it? - No, I don't believe so either.
- So why now then? I'm looking to buy my girlfriend an exotic kitten.
An exotic kitten.
It's like a mix between a bulldog, pug and a cat.
Fat, lazy, no ears.
- So she wants a grumpy cat? - Basically.
And what does a grumpy cat go for at this point.
Probably runs about $1,000.
- $1,000.
- Yeah.
For a kitten? Who am I to judge.
Last year, I spent $3,000 on a dog.
- But he's not grumpy.
- [all laugh.]
I don't need a cat.
I look over at him.
- I know.
- We got grumpy Bryan over here.
- Grumpy Bry.
- Yeah.
Oh, all right.
How much are you looking to get for this? - $1,000.
- $1,000.
It's enough to buy the cat.
That's tough.
I don't think I could go that high.
Would you take $600.
[sighs.]
That's a lot for that book.
$950.
[tense music.]
$650.
[sighs.]
I don't know.
I don't think I could do it.
- $700.
- Would you do $900? I can't go any higher than $700.
I mean, the only reason I'm even considering $700 is because it's nuclear.
- Might have to pass.
- Really? Kitten will have to wait.
So when you go home and tell your girlfriend "No cat and turned down $700 for a comic," she's gonna be happy to hear that? No.
I have the smartest boyfriend ever.
[all laugh.]
- Oh, wow! - It's tough.
- Best of luck, though.
- Thank you very much.
- Have a good day.
- Thanks.
I got a run of the first few issues of "Fangoria" magazine.
Oh, that is badass.
Ming, I want to show you the coolest space figures that ever was.
What are you doing? Smile.
Look over and smile.
- No! What are you doing? - [camera clicks.]
- I'm taking a selfie.
- [camera clicks.]
Just trying to get a couple more followers.
I'm almost at 58,000.
I get 300 more, I'll be right up there.
So take one of yourself then.
I'm working.
[camera clicks.]
I have never met anybody who is so fascinated with any trend or bandwagon.
He's right there.
Yeah, man.
I'm with it.
So recently, I acquired something that's been sweeping the country.
An item that has given me the ultimate freedom I believe.
- The selfie stick.
- The ultimate freedom? [both laugh.]
It sounds like a tampon commercial.
[all laugh.]
[fast-paced bass.]
Hey, how you doing? Hey, good.
Do you guys buy monster mags? Yeah, sure.
What do you got? Well, I got a run of the first few issues of "Fangoria" magazine.
I remember these.
Remember "Fangoria," Mike? Of course.
All right, so let's see what issues you got here.
You got a 1, 2, 3, no 4.
We got a 5, a 6, and an 8.
Okay.
This is the issue where it really got its footing as a horror mag.
How do you look at this magazine, see this image, and go, "I don't want to see a movie called 'Zombie'"? It gives you such hope, right? [all laugh.]
Some early "Fangos" came through the door.
Fango, kids.
That's the lingo.
That's a true "Fangoria" fan, man.
Only your mom called it "Fangaria" or something like that.
[all laugh.]
Where'd you get 'em all? I've been seriously collecting since I was, like, 13.
I'm huge monster guy.
I love horror.
Obviously, I love "Fangoria.
" I believe it was issue 20, I discovered "Fangoria.
" I fell in love with it.
I was like, "I'm gonna go back.
I'm gonna buy all the 'Fangorias.
'" Then I saw prices for issue 9.
It was like 50 bucks.
That's the rarest one.
My mom would never allow me to pay 50 bucks for a magazine.
- What about today? - I think she would.
[all laugh.]
I loved "Fangoria" as a kid.
It was porn if you loved horror movies.
Now you can go online and you can look this stuff up in a second, but this at that point was the only place to go for it, man.
So when it came to the newsstand, or if you were a lucky rich kid and you get a subscription, you were in the know! You could sit and hold court in the classroom about, like, "You know what's coming? 'Halloween 2.
'" They're like, "What? How is he alive?" [all laugh.]
I don't remember this movie.
"Arabian Adventure"? It's just a Christopher Lee movie.
I think they just wanted to get Christopher Lee on the cover.
- Aw! "Prophecy"? - ManBearPig from "Prophecy.
" - The BearPig? - ManBearPig.
Yeah.
That's Talia Shire, right? - Yeah.
- That was her second best role.
Really, not "Godfather," not "Rocky.
" [laughs.]
Second! I said second! I'm leaving you guessing which one number one is.
All right.
So we're thinking that she's better in "Prophecy" than "Godfather" or "Rocky.
" [laughter.]
Um, what are you looking to get for 'em.
- 50 bucks apiece.
- Six times five, that's 300.
- 300 bucks? - 300, yeah.
That's a little high, don't you think? Did you look these up lately.
- We got wiggle room.
- Okay.
If I were to go online, I'm sure we could find these for, like, 20 bucks a pop.
Maybe not number 1.
Maybe number 1.
Honestly, I believe we could sell number 1 here.
I think we can get $30 for this, maybe $15 each, or I don't know how much this one's going for.
You know, the "Zombie" cover.
I think you could probably get $50 for number 1.
- In that condition? - This is maybe a "fine".
This has got some smudging on the It does have some issues.
Uh, that's gonna be a tough sell.
I mean, I'm looking in the area of 40 bucks.
- For the lot? - For the lot, yeah.
Um, I could maybe go 20 apiece.
I think I could do $60 for the lot then.
Okay, all right.
I understand, I mean You know, considering what I'm gonna sell 'em for, I don't think I'm gonna get anywhere near what you're asking for.
Um, I I'll probably hang onto them then and just try to trade 'em for other issues that I don't have.
Okay.
Thanks for bringing 'em in, man.
Of course, yeah, no.
It was cool to see these again.
Yeah, I appreciate talking to you guys.
All right, man.
Have a great day.
- All right.
- Take it easy, man.
I got some Flash Gordon 1979 action figures.
Holy mackerel! I've never seen these before.
The only way you can get "NeverEnding Story" figures - Are these.
- Is on the black market.
Exactly.
You got your horror movies, you got your thrillers, but you got that subcategory that means the most: splatter movies, man.
Favorite splatter movie.
For me, hands down, gotta be "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" Toby Hooper goes, "You know what? "I'm just gonna get graphic.
"I'ma put it in Texas, "and I'm gonna make it just a mind trip.
This family's gonna be nothing you've ever seen before.
" It's still a terrifying movie.
What about you? I'm gonna go with the John Carpenter's "The Thing.
" Nice pull, man.
When the creature's morphing out of the human remains.
You know, the spider head, uh Spider head Imagine you're a kid and, like, they show you a head getting ripped off, and you're like, "Well, that's fantastic.
" Then all of a sudden, legs pop out of the head, and it gets up and walks away like a spider, and they're trying to flame-throw it.
John Carpenter owned us with that.
What about you, Ming? Favorite splatter.
I'm gonna be honest with you; I don't know if I have one.
These one's that you tough boys have been watching.
Tough boys! Awe, man.
You made me feel macho, dude.
[all laugh.]
So the action figure sales are up.
Okay.
The Injustice, those high-end figures, they've been holding steady too.
Good.
Good to hear.
Uh, trade paperback sales are up at least 23%.
- Price gouge coming out - What are you doing? - Just keep working.
- [camera clicks.]
Ming, stop! You're like a 15-year-old girl.
Now knock it off.
Great, could you just look up again, Mike.
- Perfect.
Thanks.
- Imbecile.
- It's now affecting your work.
- How so? How so? All you're concerned with is - You're not working.
- [all laugh.]
Well, then I'm using it to promote the store.
Explain to us how you taking a picture of yourself, grinning ear to ear like some sort acid-laden gibbon and telling me how that helps you promote the store? I'll tell you, that came from deep.
I've known the dude over 25 years.
Never heard him call anybody an acid-laden gibbon.
[fast-paced rock.]
[register clicks.]
All right, have a great day, guys.
- Thanks, you too.
- All right.
Hey.
- Hi, how ya doing? - All right.
I got some Flash Gordon 1979, the animated series, action figures.
Remember this? Filmation, baby.
- Oh, yeah.
- Huh? Ming.
I wanna show you the coolest space figures that ever was.
'Cause it's not "Star Wars.
" It's not "Star Trek.
" It's right there.
It's this guy.
Your daddy's space hero: Flash Gordon.
And by daddy, he means granddaddy.
[all laugh.]
I imagine you hear "Flash Gordon.
" What do you think? You just think, like - Well, you know what he thinks.
- Yeah, come on.
- "Ming the Merciless! Der!" - Come on! Is he in oh! There he is! Eh? How come you don't grow out your facial hair like that? - I can't grow facial hair.
- [Walt laughs.]
If I could, I would totally rock this look.
Mike, if you were a good enough friend, you should shave all your body hair and donate it to Ming and just let him glue it to his face.
Glue it on? Or take it from the top of your head.
And all of a sudden, he's Ming and you're Zarkov.
[all laugh.]
Who else you got in here? Oh! Wha wh [all laugh.]
I have that exact same skirt.
I mean, this is some of the coolest cast of characters that were ever created.
It has everything.
It's got romance.
It's got intrigue.
It's got action.
It's got some of the most dastardly villains that ever were.
Darth Vader is a peon compared to Ming the Merciless.
Why hasn't J.
J.
Abrams done a new radio serial [all laugh.]
Of Flash Gordon.
I maintain without Flash Gordon, you don't have a Luke Skywalker today.
You're absolutely right about that.
George Lucas would be the first to tell ya Flash Gordon serials, that's what he was approximating, but instead he innovated and created a whole different mythology that, if you look at "Flash Gordon" and "Star Wars," you can't even see the connections, other than, like, space, weird planets, animals, evil lords, which I guess is everything in "Star Wars," now that I think about it.
"Boy, they owe Flash Gordon some money, man.
[all laugh.]
Where did you get these? Oh, back in K-Mart in the day, back when I was 13.
I ended up getting the whole collection.
So you're looking to sell these today? Yep, I'd like to get some extra money to take my wife to Las Vegas.
Mm, yeah, okay.
Well, what are you looking to get for it? - $75 I was hoping.
- $75, huh? I wanna cover my tolls as well as my gas.
[all laugh.]
Eight Flash Gordon figures, but they're loose.
They're loose.
Any chance you'd take $40? How 'bout, uh, $60? I mean, you know, I could do $60.
Okay.
[cash register whirring.]
All right, man, put it all on black for me.
- All right? - Thank you very much.
- All right, see yous later.
- Good luck.
Good luck.
Forget the figures.
To me, I'll bet you this is the rarest thing that has ever come Like, how many space cases are still around? Maybe we hit the jackpot.
Just stumbled into a gold mine.
Cha-ching! Very unlikely, no.
[laughter.]
Mexican bootleg figures from "The NeverEnding Story.
" Oh, my god.
I've never seen these before.
If you guys were to be put in prison for some reason and your cellmate is a supervillain, who's the supervillain you go with? I would want to go with someone like the Mole Man.
- The the blind guy who lived - Yeah, the squat guy.
You know, miles under the ground? - Yeah.
- Well, he could 'Cause he digs down and then you can escape? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It'd be like "The Great Escape.
" Let's say some of the other super toughs in prison, you know, they see fresh meat, fresh fish.
- I that's what they say, right? - They do say it, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Old fishy Mike.
[laughter.]
I'm picking some An alien, because You know, somebody who's not interested in any kind of like "Oz" stuff.
- So I'm gonna go Brainiac.
- Okay.
You know, he's not physically going to overpower me, you know what I'm saying? - Right.
- You know where I'm going? Like Mole Man would overpower Mike? What do you got? General Zod from Superman.
He's got all the powers of Superman, and he he'd protect me.
You're making it too easy, though.
Yeah, it's a no-brainer.
Yeah.
Do you want me to kneel, Zod? [laughter.]
[upbeat music.]
Hey, how you doing, fellas? - Good how are you today? - What can we do for you today? Well, I brought in something fairly unique I wanted to show you, see if you're interested in.
Okay.
These are Mexican bootleg figures from the 1984 film "The NeverEnding Story:" the Rockbiter, Falkor, the G'mork, Bastian, Atreyu, and the signature piece, The Auryn.
Oh, my god.
I've never seen these before.
[upbeat music.]
- You guys are into this flick? - This was our childhood.
I mean, everyone's got that signature movie.
We watched this movie over and over again.
Oh, yeah.
Did they do legit figures that were released in America or No.
The only way you can get "NeverEnding story" figures Are these.
- Is on the black market.
- Exactly.
Bootleg figures that were just made in Mexico, so that's what makes them special.
Really? Contraband "NeverEnding Story"? Have you ever seen "NeverEnding Story" figures? Never.
I've No, I don't think they did a toy line.
So what, somebody in another country was like, "This is needed," and made their own? They muled 'em over the border.
[laughter.]
So why you looking to sell 'em now? Well, I'm getting into G.
I.
Joes, specifically preproduction.
And I mean, that's my passion, so I'm looking for some extra money to, you know, finance that.
Okay, you're look So you're looking to get preproduction G.
I.
Joes.
Like they're they go for money, right? Oh, they go for a hefty sum.
Goofy fast.
So, uh, what what do What do you need for these figures? I mean, what do they go for today? Well, you know, I've seen 'em go for $100 apiece.
- I know that's - Wow.
I think a fair offer would be 400 bucks.
- $400 for all of 'em, huh? - Yeah.
Any chance you'd take $200 for the lot? - [camera shutter clicks.]
- Oh, absolutely not.
I'm sorry.
I mean, I know you got to make some money, but I couldn't do $200.
Uh, I'm sorry.
Where was I at now? He actually pulled it out while I'm trying to conduct business, you know, negotiating a deal.
You're talking about the selfie stick still.
[laughter.]
He's making me, you know, lose my concentration.
You know, in the art of the deal, it's like high stakes poker.
I think I was well out of the way.
Do you see cameramen on the field filming athletes while they're performing? No, they're on the sidelines.
They're not in the athlete's way when they're trying to get the job done.
Yeah, come on.
Leave this athlete alone.
[laughter.]
Um, where was I at now? - Uh, you s - What'd you throw it out at? You were at $350.
No, I'm joking.
You were at $200.
I said $350.
You said $350, countered with $350, huh? I could do $250, but I think that's really all I can really invest in 'em.
I'm not entirely sure that I have you know, and have somebody gonna come in that's gonna want these.
I mean, $250's the best I can do.
What do you think? Yeah, I got to stay at $350.
I'm sorry.
All right, well, thanks for bringing 'em in.
I'm sorry.
No, that's understandable.
That's all right.
- It was neat seeing 'em.
- Yeah.
Appreciate your time.
Thanks a lot.
Background in color here.
And, uh No problem.
[laughter.]
All right, guys.
A no sale on the "NeverEnding Story" figures.
Look at the disappointment on Bryan Johnson's face.
Tell everybody what happened.
- Get close up and personal.
- Here.
Here.
- Let me hold it.
- Get me in here too, though.
What happened? What? - Come on.
- Take this.
Come on.
Give me that back.
What are you doing? - [metallic snap.]
- That.
Oh.
- [laughter.]
- What the hell? He just Bo Jackson'd it.
- [laughter.]
- There you go.
You owe me $15 for this.
- That was $15? - Yes.
Got it in Chinatown.
[laughter.]
I mean, you've ruined the art of the deal, dude.
- [laughter.]
- He's exaggerating.
I mean, I'm sorry if such a small thing distracted you or threw you off your game, but every time I posted a photo or video of us, I would I started blowing up.
[laughter.]
I mean, you wouldn't know this, 'cause you're not online, but this is what was happening.
- Walt is click bait? - Yeah.
[laughter.]
Oh, man, and just like a transformer, we got to Go-Bot out of here.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Never be afraid to look 'em right in the eye of Agamotto, kids.
Good night.