Cow and Chicken (1997) s02e04 Episode Script

1
What is it?
I don't know!
Can we escape?
I don't think so!
No!
The pig has the tractor!
Baaad sheep!
Put down the pitch fork.
No! Bad sheep!
Sit! Sit! Don't do it!
Put that down! Down!
Dumb Cow!
Sorry we ate your relatives.
That was "Farm Zombies"
on Dead Ghost, Coast to Coast.
Did those farm zombies scare
the pants off you kiddies?
Me, too.
And not a minute too soon!
'Cause it's Halloween!
Time to get into your costumes!
Halloween crept up on me this year!
Now, what am I gonna be?
I'm going to be a fairy princess!
Shut up, 'Cow Princess'!
I am tryin' to figure out
what to be for Halloween here.
Don't know what to be?
Call me on the Halloween Hotline!
Two-two-one
Whatever! Just call this number!
And it's only three-ninety-nine
a second!
There's a call now!
Hello?
Oh, you're a human being.
Then dress as a chicken!
You're a chicken!
Dress as a human being!
I guess I'm gonna be a human being.
I want to be a human being, too!
Okay, then!
First, I will need human underwears.
I'm allergic to plaid.
How'd Mom's stuff get in here?
I'll take that.
Oh, lookie big brother! They just fit!
Oh, you look mighty handsome, Sir.
Well, you don't look so bad yourself,
Senorita.
Trick or treat!
How dare you!
A grown man and woman Trick or Treating!
Freaks!
I'll get it, mother!
Yeah, What?
Trick or treat!
Candy. Right.
A grown man and woman!
When I was a kid, they forced us
to wear costumes for Halloween!
No costumes, no candy!
No costumes?
What the heck do you think this is?
Maybe our costumes are too good.
Trick or Treat.
Adult Trick or Treaters?
I admire your spunk!
Like your style!
You people are real go-getters!
Come to my office tomorrow!
Let's talk business!
I don't need no job!
I need candy!
I think I'm going to starve to death!
Hey, don't get your udder in a knot here.
Let us try another house.
I wonder who lives here?
Yes?
Trick or Treat!
Well, if it isn't ultra normal man,
and ultra normal woman!
The unemployment office
is around the corner.
This is the worstest Halloween ever!
It's all his fault!
So, you're not a grownup after all!
You're a juvenile chicken delinquent!
Well, maybe a little discipline
will stop your masquerading ways!
Big brother, are you okay?
Help me, Cow!
Chicken?
Super Cow, al rescate!
I'm going to punish this naughty chicken
by washing his mouth out with soup.
Don't you mean
"wash my mouth out with soap?"
Soap?
Oh, even better!
Wait right here, Miss!
While I go get my toilet brush!
Super Cow?
Stand back, or I'll shoot?
Deja mi hermano!
Dead Coast is toast!
Feathers!
Honey, have you seen our children?
- Cow and Chicken?
- Yes.
I'm afraid I haven't, Momma.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, Dad.
I'm being milked and feathered!
All out of feathers, aye, Chicken?
Too bad you can't lay eggs
and throw those.
I'll do anything you want!
Just don't squirt me anymore!
You'll do anything?
Trick or Treat.
What darling costumes!
Here's some candy!
Hey, thanks, Dead Ghost.
Gracias
Real nice kids.
This turned out
to be the best Halloween ever!
"You must be this tall to ride."
Dang! I'm too short!
This is great! Right, Chicken?
Yeah, great.
I'm havin' the time of my life!
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Hey, Loulabelle?
Let's do something different today.
Does this involve a piggy back ride?
Today, Loulabelle, we will do
what Quantum Physicists do
concoct life.
Weasel!
Seeds O'Life!
Just add DNA.
Care to make a donation, Loulabelle?
Into the petri dish.
And voila'!
Hey! Lookie! Life!
I know a very special Weasel
who deserves a piggy back ride for this!
Very well, if you insist.
Giddy-up! Giddy-up! Yah!
Why Weasel always
get the piggy back ride?
I.R. deserving to get piggy back ride
from pretty lady!
I.R. concocted life, too!
Moving it, puss cat! I.R. need Peter Dish.
Seeds O'Life!
Just add DNA.
Spit!
Stir!
Pour!
I.R. have concocting life!
Beating it, Weasel!
I.R. concocting life! ♪
I.R. concocting life! ♪
Sea monkeys. Cute.
Get up.
Get off my back! Monkey!
Baboon.
Congratulations, Mr. Baboon.
You've concocted life.
You now have a tremendous responsibility
and must tend to your people
as they evolve.
I.R. not need for you telling me what do.
You're the concoctor.
It would not be proper for me
to meddle in your affairs.
My little weasels are evolving quite quickly.
Let I see
how is doing tiny weenie baboons.
Blessing their hearts.
They is fine.
How can stupid puny weasels
evolve faster than tiny baboon?
Well, let's have a look-see.
They seem have gotten sniffing down.
They having cars now?
See what tiny baboons do,
smarty alecks Weasel.
- They discovering something?
- Yes.
Knocking each other over the head.
They're created primitive music.
Is that crime?
Why not I.R. Baboon's world evolving?
Good question, Mr. Baboon.
It is surprising your people
haven't figured out fire yet.
I.R. know! I.R. introducing fire!
No!
Those micro baboons may be primitive,
but they are still human beings.
What wrong with you?
Say you sorry, pet boy.
Sorry, tiny baboons.
You thinking you so smart.
My world should be greatness!
My world only should be needing
I.R. know what baboon world needing!
I.R. introducing war!
Tiny baboons! Shall be greatness!
No!
You embarrass I!
Weasel. Look!
Baboon world
will destroying idiot weasel world!
Then I.R. Baboon be Queen.
Time for destroying, Tiny Baboons.
Baboon!
That weapon will never fire
outside the baboon litter box.
It will destroy them all.
See my computations.
At the current angle of trajectory,
their projectile will crash
right back down on top of them.
You're just jealous
that my world destroy yours!
Baboon World kill Weasel World. ♪
My world kill your world, Weasel! ♪
Listen to me.
The baboons of Baboon World
are going to destroy themselves.
You must help them, for you are Weasels!
I.M. Weasel!
What we do?
I.R. sorry.
Apology accepted.
Let this be a lesson to both of us.
Let's see how our concoctions
are doing today.
I believe they've cross-pollinated.
Yes!
They've become Wa-boons
and Bab-easels!
This is so wrong.
Baboon? You and I must never marry.
You having deal. Just good friends.