Cow and Chicken (1997) s02e23 Episode Script
Child Star
1
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad wad proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
All right, you stage mothers.
Auditions for the part of "Pretty Little Girl",
on stage now!
Excuse me.
Are these the auditions
for director Ivan Panced's new movie?
Maybe. But don't bother entering.
My little girl is a champion puddle dancer.
She's bound to get the part of
"Pretty Little Girl".
Well, my little Cow
has been to the Acting Academy.
She got her Black Belt in juggling.
Come along, Cow!
Hello!
It's me, the director, Ivan Panced!
Could you tell?
Action!
I'm doing a puddle dance.
Next!
Next!
Hey, you down there!
I want to see some passion,
drama, fear, angst.
Oh, not another puddle dancer.
Oh look, Mother.
She must be a champion, too.
Oh, I will never get the part!
Next!
Oh course you will, sweetheart!
You can dance just as well as anybody.
Go on, give it a try!
I'm no good at it!
I would like to go home now, please.
No!
Next!
John Thomas!
What's the meaning of this?
Oh, Mother.
I just wanted to be the "Pretty Little Girl".
I'll "Pretty Little Girl" you, John Thomas!
I said Next!
That's you, Cow!
Break-A-Hoof, sweetheart!
Hello. I'm Cow.
And I suppose
you're going to do a puddle dance, too?
I can't.
Well, what can you do, then?
I can touch my eyeballs with my tongue.
That's amazing!
What else can you do?
I can make milk.
Oh, thank you ever so.
But I'm lactose intolerant!
Me, too.
I can juggle, too!
Cameraman! Are you getting all this?
Toast!
Bravo! Cow, you're hired!
Oh, Cow! I'm so proud of you!
Scene uno.
"Hymie The Neighbor Boy", take two.
And action!
Oh, what is the matter,
Hymie The Neighbor Boy?
Pretty Little Girl,
my cat is stuck in the tree.
Do not worry Jai me!
I will have him down in Hi-may!
Oh, thank you, Pretty Little Girl!
You're my hero?
You are welcome, Hymie!
Cut!
Oh, c'est magnifique.
Why thank you, Mr. Panced.
That's my Pretty Little Girl!
"Pretty Little Girl", Scene Five, Take One.
Makeup!
Are you ready for your close-up, Princess?
Oh, yes, Mr. Panced!
And action!
Scene Twenty, Broken Bike, Take Ten.
Oh, no!
You've broken your favorite bicycle.
The one grandmama gave you
for Christmas.
You'll never be able to fix it.
It's gone. Gone forever!
Action!
Cue Postman.
Good morning, Pretty Little Girl.
Good morning, Mr. Postman.
Why, where's your cheerful smile?
My bike is broke!
Grandmama gave it to me for Christmas,
and the man said
I will never be able to fix it
never, never, ever!
Cut!
Such emotion! Such pathos!
You're gonna make me a star.
It's a wrap, ladies!
Unload film!
- Mr. Panced?
- Yes?
The film forgot then empty
Spit it out, man!
I forgot to put the film in the camera?
Good morning, Dead Carp Pictures.
Can I help you?
Yes, Mr. Dead Carp.
The Red Guy?
Yes, he's here in the lobby.
Mr. Panced? He'll see you now.
Pretty Little Girl,
starring in "Pretty Little Girl".
A Pretty Little Girl went for a walk,
and met Hymie The Neighbor Boy,
Whose cat was stuck in a tree.
Then invited all her friends to a tea party,
Where they Danced, and made merry!
And and had cake, and and
The End.
Panced! Get down here!
You're a genius!
I am?
Oh, yes, yes! It's got action!
It's got drama! It's got dance!
Oh, it's going to be a hit, hit, hit!
Oh, welcome to Hollywood, Mr. Panced!
Care to puddle dance?
You know, contrary to popular belief,
these Hollywood guys are really very,
very good dancers.
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad wad proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
All right, you stage mothers.
Auditions for the part of "Pretty Little Girl",
on stage now!
Excuse me.
Are these the auditions
for director Ivan Panced's new movie?
Maybe. But don't bother entering.
My little girl is a champion puddle dancer.
She's bound to get the part of
"Pretty Little Girl".
Well, my little Cow
has been to the Acting Academy.
She got her Black Belt in juggling.
Come along, Cow!
Hello!
It's me, the director, Ivan Panced!
Could you tell?
Action!
I'm doing a puddle dance.
Next!
Next!
Hey, you down there!
I want to see some passion,
drama, fear, angst.
Oh, not another puddle dancer.
Oh look, Mother.
She must be a champion, too.
Oh, I will never get the part!
Next!
Oh course you will, sweetheart!
You can dance just as well as anybody.
Go on, give it a try!
I'm no good at it!
I would like to go home now, please.
No!
Next!
John Thomas!
What's the meaning of this?
Oh, Mother.
I just wanted to be the "Pretty Little Girl".
I'll "Pretty Little Girl" you, John Thomas!
I said Next!
That's you, Cow!
Break-A-Hoof, sweetheart!
Hello. I'm Cow.
And I suppose
you're going to do a puddle dance, too?
I can't.
Well, what can you do, then?
I can touch my eyeballs with my tongue.
That's amazing!
What else can you do?
I can make milk.
Oh, thank you ever so.
But I'm lactose intolerant!
Me, too.
I can juggle, too!
Cameraman! Are you getting all this?
Toast!
Bravo! Cow, you're hired!
Oh, Cow! I'm so proud of you!
Scene uno.
"Hymie The Neighbor Boy", take two.
And action!
Oh, what is the matter,
Hymie The Neighbor Boy?
Pretty Little Girl,
my cat is stuck in the tree.
Do not worry Jai me!
I will have him down in Hi-may!
Oh, thank you, Pretty Little Girl!
You're my hero?
You are welcome, Hymie!
Cut!
Oh, c'est magnifique.
Why thank you, Mr. Panced.
That's my Pretty Little Girl!
"Pretty Little Girl", Scene Five, Take One.
Makeup!
Are you ready for your close-up, Princess?
Oh, yes, Mr. Panced!
And action!
Scene Twenty, Broken Bike, Take Ten.
Oh, no!
You've broken your favorite bicycle.
The one grandmama gave you
for Christmas.
You'll never be able to fix it.
It's gone. Gone forever!
Action!
Cue Postman.
Good morning, Pretty Little Girl.
Good morning, Mr. Postman.
Why, where's your cheerful smile?
My bike is broke!
Grandmama gave it to me for Christmas,
and the man said
I will never be able to fix it
never, never, ever!
Cut!
Such emotion! Such pathos!
You're gonna make me a star.
It's a wrap, ladies!
Unload film!
- Mr. Panced?
- Yes?
The film forgot then empty
Spit it out, man!
I forgot to put the film in the camera?
Good morning, Dead Carp Pictures.
Can I help you?
Yes, Mr. Dead Carp.
The Red Guy?
Yes, he's here in the lobby.
Mr. Panced? He'll see you now.
Pretty Little Girl,
starring in "Pretty Little Girl".
A Pretty Little Girl went for a walk,
and met Hymie The Neighbor Boy,
Whose cat was stuck in a tree.
Then invited all her friends to a tea party,
Where they Danced, and made merry!
And and had cake, and and
The End.
Panced! Get down here!
You're a genius!
I am?
Oh, yes, yes! It's got action!
It's got drama! It's got dance!
Oh, it's going to be a hit, hit, hit!
Oh, welcome to Hollywood, Mr. Panced!
Care to puddle dance?
You know, contrary to popular belief,
these Hollywood guys are really very,
very good dancers.