Cow and Chicken (1997) s03e04 Episode Script

The Babysitter

This is so exciting!
We haven't been to The Sad Club in ages!
There has been way too much merriment
around here lately.
Pants or tights, Mama?
What about these boots, Dad?
Those boots were made for walkin', Mama!
You know, I think I prefer the pants, Dad.
We're off, kids.
Where you goin'?
To The Sad Club
for a night of sheer unhappiness.
Oh, but who will baby-sit on us?
Well, the baby sitter, of course.
You was gonna leave us home alone?
What's the hold-up, Dad?
Let's go! Let's go!
We forgot to get a baby sitter.
Yeah, we could, look after ourselves.
Well, I don't think that's a good
Of course you can!
You're big boys and girls now!
I'll be the baby sitter!
No! I am the baby sitter!
I am the oldest and the most mature.
Oh, yes. Well, I am the biggest.
She has a point, Chicken.
She is huge!
Now, Cow?
But I'm eleven-years-old! I'm the biggest!
No. I am.
I am.
No. Me.
- Me, me, me, me, me!
- Me, me!
I cannot hear you.
Hey, don't!
Now, kids. Let's be fair about this.
Okay, Chicken, hop on.
Stupid idea.
Cow? Your turn.
Cow's biggest!
Looks like
she is your new baby sitter, Chicken.
Now, Chicken, you're to do whatever
the baby sitter tells you.
Yeah. Whatever.
And behave yourself.
Gotta fly!
Adios muchachos and muchachas!
Hasta la vista, lady!
Hey! Cow, what is this, a bridle?
It's time for Chicken's dinner.
We already ate dinner. Idiot!
What are all your stupid dolls doin' here?
Oh, their mommies and daddies
have gone out,
and I am baby sitting them, too.
Hey! Man!
There. No spills.
What is this stuff?
Marshmallow soup.
It's Crab's favorite.
Yeah, well it's not my favorite.
I ain't gonna eat it.
Here comes the train.
That's it! I'm full. I'm gonna watch TV.
That is enough TV for today.
Yeah, but Cow, I was watchin' that.
You forgot to do your homework.
I done it already!
Then spell "TV."
And then my cat ran away.
Right before my fiancee dumped me.
But I didn't get the message
'cause they repossessed my phone.
And I showed up
at the church to find her
marrying my cat!
This guy is terrible, Dad.
I know. He hasn't made me sad once.
The seven-two-eleven-ninety-twelve-one.
Very good, Chicken!
Have you finished your homework, Crabs?
You are a very naughty warthog!
It is time for your bathes, children.
Geez, Cow!
What do you think you're doin'?
Oh, it is Mom's favorite soap.
It's for dishes, you idiot!
We get the babies with the bubbles. ♪
Little baby wipe-ies. ♪
Then the gangrene set in.
And then my Grandma beat-up my dog.
I'm so happy.
I've got a good mind to ask
for our money back.
Oh, come on, Dad.
Let's go home and check on the kids.
Good idea, Mama.
No way!
The baby sitter says
you have to wear your diaper!
Oh, I wonder where Chicken is?
Oh, he must be hiding somewhere.
Got you!
Put your clean di-dee on.
Lie down!
Some talcum for your sore butt!
Oh, what are you doin'?
Give your baby sitter a goodnight kiss,
No way, Jose!
Oh, come on!
I am your very favorite-est Sister.
I have suffered humiliation all night, Cow!
I ain't gonna stand no more!
Oh, just a whittle-witty-bitty
peck on the cheek?
Oh, Chicken!
Would you look at that, Mama?
Mom! Dad! Help!
Looks like we found a baby sitter for life!
Well, we're off to the Bahamas, kids.
See ya in three weeks!
Baby sitter for life!
Let's race!
Last one to New York is a pantyhose!
Why didn't you run?
What are you, stupid?
We only got fifteen seconds.
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Twenty-three miles
to the world's biggest hole.
See the hole. Five mi.
Hole, California.
Home of the whoa!
Home of the world's biggest hole.
Hello, I.R.
Why are fuzzy Weasel always being
where I.R. are?
Howdy, howdy, howdy!
I reckon y'all come to see the Hole?
Ain't nothin' else to do around here.
Kinda of a one horse town,
if you get my meanin'.
She's right over there!
Now, how many tickets to see the Hole?
Actually, Sir, I am not here as a tourist.
I.M. Weasel!
The famous Hole-ologist?
At your service.
I am here to look into the Hole,
to understand it's nature.
That mean ya ain't gonna buy no tickets?
I'm afraid not.
Well, how about you?
You want to look in the Hole?
Are you talking to I.R.?
Yep. One ticket or two?
Oh, no. I.R. Hole-o-phobic.
I can't standing Hole.
I.R. coming to fill Hole!
Nothing are scarier than empty hole.
It my life's work to filling every hole I see.
Do you want to fill our Hole, Son?
Well, that's the only hole we got!
In fact
Now see here, Baboon
Please keep
your hole plugging devices to yourself.
I have work to do!
I.R. plug the hole, and I.R. hole plugging ♪
Really, Mr. Baboon.
You can't just fill this Hole.
It must be studied
and preserved for future generations.
Oh, lookie! I.R. Weasel!
I.R. knowing everything!
Hole is dangerous!
Even so, this Hole is far too big
to be filled by a little cement.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Weasel not fooling. Hole is big!
I.R. needing more cements!
As soon as this machine finishes
compiling my research,
the mysteries of this Hole will be revealed.
Are not working!
That boy ain't exactly the brightest pickle
in the jar, now is he?
Inflate-O-Cork. Pulling cord to inflate.
It's a good thing that soft-headed Baboon
never found a way to plug the Hole.
What we have here
is a ground-level volcano.
If it had been sealed,
the results could have been devastating
for the entire planet!
Giving me cork!
I.R. the winning-est! ♪
Weasel are the losing-est! ♪
I.R. the best-est! ♪
I demand that you cease
that victory dance!
Making me!
She's gonna blow!
Duck and cover!
Hey! What you doing?
Cork is working! Hole filled good!
My working here is done.
Go bye-bye.
You know, kids? Baboon was half right.
Some holes should be filled,
but some holes should be left alone.
Boy, I'll say.
Especially ground-level volcanoes.
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