Cow and Chicken (1997) s03e14 Episode Script


First day at Junior High.
Now we are men.
We will now all be truly recognized
for the men what we are.
My big brother's all growed up now!
Now I am an abandoned cow!
You children have a nice day, now!
We are goin' to our first day of Junior High!
Better hide the women,
'cause the men have arrived!
Yeah! What Chicken said!
Let us check our schedules
and see what class is first.
Ppp-uh? What's pp-uh?
But I don't gotta!
Hello, pastry chefs!
I am Greta, your P.E. Teacher!
Start sweating!
Climb that rope!
Hey! We made it to the top!
Rope burn!
Someone get me water!
Pummel horse.
I'll go first, ladies.
That's the last time
I'll be able to say that, grandma.
Time for dodge ball!
Dodge ball?
Dodge ball!
We'll smear the Chicken.
Chicken! Flem! Earl! You are team one!
Everybody else, you are team two!
This'll be a piece of pie!
Hit the showers!
I want you undressed and in the showers!
You mean we gotta get naked
in front of each other and stuff?
Is there a problem Miss?
No, Sir.
I'm naked in the shower, ♪
I'm naked here at school. ♪
I'm showering with my classmates ♪
'cause that is the rule. ♪
I'm naked in the shower, ♪
I'm naked here at school. ♪
I'm showering with my classmates ♪
'cause that is the rule. ♪
I'm naked in the shower, ♪
I'm naked here at school. ♪
I'm showering with my classmates ♪
'cause that is the rule. ♪
Yeah! ♪
A chicken suit!
Now I can die happy!
I gotta get myself a towel! Oh, yeah!
What do you think you're doin'?
That's not a towel!
Towels are in the cafeteria!
You gotta walk naked down
the halls to get there!
The coast is clear.
Do you think they saw us?
Come on! Hurry up!
Okay! Come on out!
Oh, look at the time!
We're late for Home Ec!
Hey! We gotta hustle
and get to the cafeteria
before anyone sees our hineys!
What have you got behind those trays?
What ever do you mean?
Come on! Come on! Hurry up!
What about you, Chicken?
Oh, warm!
Here's your towels, gals!
Now, go get dressed!
Hey, you know what? P.E. stinks!
And you know what else?
Bein' in Junior High bites weenie!
Yeah! Forget Junior High!
Junior High is for the birds!
Let's blow this joint
and go back to fifth grade!
Yeah! Fifth grade is forever!
Hey, Chicken?
Maybe they're laughing with us.
Earl, I really don't think so.
Mas rapida que un trasero cerdo volando!
Mas poderosa de
un hombre rojo sin pantalones!
Capaz de saltar sobre
un pollo en un simple brinca!
Es Supercow!
Solo habla en Espanol.
Por que? No lo se.
Es el unico Super Heroe
que da leche fresca!
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
What a beautiful night to be a vampire.
Come, my friend.
Tonight, we suck blood.
You remember
that vampires never have reflections.
Hi, you!
I getting it! Bleh!
Shall we go, then?
Behold! The village of Buttsylvania.
But how we get there, blah-blah?
Simple. We turn ourselves into bats.
I try again! Bleh!
Not a baseball bat!
A vampire bat, my soft-headed chum!
We have arrived.
The Barnyard Club
is the swinging-est nightclub in Buttsylvania.
Howdy. Can I help you boys?
Good sir?
Why on earth are you dancing
with your livestock?
We is too shy to talk to girls.
There, there.
Women are often quite frightening.
There. There.
They've come to drink our blood!
That's nothing but an old wives tale.
I only drink low-fat canned blood.
Well, I guess that's okay.
Say! This seems like
an excellent opportunity
for thee and the undead community
to show our compassionate side.
My half-wit comrade
and I will happily ask real women
to come dance with you
so you won't have to dance
with smelly farm animals.
You'd do that for us?
Of course!
For I Am Weasel! Bleh!
But, we must also clean this place up.
It's a pig sty.
This is the nicest thing anyone's
ever did for us.
Come, Baboon.
We shall return!
Them vampires are right friendly folk.
Dr. Van Smell-sing.
The famous vampire hunter!
That's right, girls!
Would anyone care to buy
a vampire skin rug?
Or maybe some vampire jerky?
All right, let's cut to the chase!
I know you've had vampires in here.
Oh yeah. They was real nice folk.
Nice folk? Nice folk?
Vampires are evil bloodsucking fiends!
The only good vampire is a dead vampire!
And when I catch these two,
I'll drive stakes through their hearts!
Boy, that vampire hunter sure was friendly.
Well, I guess we'd better get a cleanin'.
They're here!
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
Come in, ladies.
Hi. I'm Gertrude.
Hello. I am Hildegarde.
Hello, big boy. I'm Nora.
Gosh, I sure am glad
that vampire hunter never found you.
What vampire hunter?
This vampire hunter!
Now I'm gonna put these
steaks through your hearts!
But my good man, these are flank steaks.
So? Sue me.
All right!
I've done it!
Victory is mine.
You, sir, are a cruel, hateful man!
Vampires are people, too.
Sometimes you must walk a mile
in another man's moccasins
before you truly understand him.
You're talking to me?
Once you're bitten by a vampire
You becoming vampire. Bleh.
Oh, it's true! It's true!!
Give me a minute here.
Oh, you stupidest vampire ever! Yeah!
Previous EpisodeNext Episode