Cow and Chicken (1997) s04e18 Episode Script

The Loneliest Cow

The horror! The horror!
I am so alone.
Nobody loves me!
I have not a friend in the world.
Oh, what is this?
Somebody is waving to me.
Oh, perhaps it is a new friend!
Hello, new friend!
You want me to come out and play?
I'd love to!
Hello, new friend!
Oh, you are my bestest friend ever!
What a loser!
Trees are for eating, not being friends with!
Not like yous, Ensign Slaughter.
Oh, we should play a game!
Ensign Slaughter!
Oh, it is your turn now.
Oh, this game is fun, huh?
Hey! Blubber puss?
This cost me two years allowance!
Sorry. I cannot play now, Chicken.
I am waiting for my new friend
to make her mooo-move!
Well, yous gonna be waiting a long time!
This is an orange tree.
It is a inanimatronic object!
It ain't never moving!
Can't you see she's trying to concentrate?
My nose has an idea!
Let's play hide and seek!
You hide and I shall seek!
One, two, three, eleven,
twenty-three, nine, six,
one, eight, nine, six,
two-two-two, three, twelve!
Hello? Permanent Tree Removal!
Yeah. I needs a tree removed.
Well, you called the right guy!
Don't hang up.
Hello! It's me!
I'm Rex Fanny, Tree Removal Specialist!
Is that the offending shrubbery?
Yeah, it's the big stick
with the leaves on it.
Twenty, ten!
Ready or not, here I come!
That tree has a poor corpulent little girl!
I must remove it!
I'm finding you!
I found you!
Now, I will hide and you can seek me!
Orange tree.
We, in the tree removal biz,
usually remove these puppies by hand!
By hand?
Wouldn't it be easier to use
your chain saw or something?
Who is the tree removal expert here?
Oh, good answer!
Now, shut up!
Well, it's off to the saw mill with this baby.
Oh, boy! Revenge is mine!
Hey, Cow? What's the matter?
My tree left me!
Nobody loves me!
Oh, man!
Why do I always got to feel bad
when I do bad stuff?
Don't worry. I'll save your stupid tree!
All right, tree! You're coming with me!
Say! You aren't trying to
steal my tree, are you?
'Cause, if you're trying to steal this tree,
you're doing it all wrong!
Oh, let me tell you!
What you've got to do
is tie yourself to the tree, like so!
That way you get more leverage!
Boy, is my face red!
Poor Cow's tree.
I'm sorry, Cow.
I was a bad big brother.
Oh, that's okay, Chicken.
Besides, my new friend
is a much better chess player
than my tree friend.
Oh, I always wanted to be a chess champ.
Well, now that I'm lumber, I can!
Queen to Knight's Pawns!
Grandma, six.
What kind of wood are you, friend?
Why, Redwood, of course!
Queen me!
Mas rapida que el tratero de
un cerdo volano!
Mas poderosa que
un hombre rojo sin pantalones!
Capaz de saltar sobre
un pollo en un simple brinca!
Es Super Cow!
Solo habla en Espanol.
Por que?
No lo se!
Y es el unico superheroe
que puede dar leche fresca.
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
I have created a way to control dreams!
It will help those
who can't dream to dream vivid
and exciting phantasms!
Lovely assistant, Baboon?
Yes, Sir, Dr. Weasel?
Bring in the first patient.
It are time for first patient!
I have no dreams!
They've all been dashed!
There, there, Sir.
I'm here to help.
For I am Weasel, Dream Specialist.
All right, get off me.
Strap him in!
Please observe, by making this soup,
I shall give dreams back to
this poor person.
First, some celery.
Some carrots.
All brain cereal.
None of that forty percent crap.
A little raw seafood.
This soup is the stuff that dreams
are made of.
This is so the patient can dream in color.
Plug him in, Baboon!
Now, put the patient to sleep, Baboon!
I meant, put him to sleep
with the anesthesia.
Never mind. He's asleep now.
Ooo, pie.
I like pie!
Wow! What a great dream!
I feel so refreshed!
"I feel I am unlocking secrets buried deep
within the human brain;
"the fabric of reality;
the frontier of human experience!"
Patient to see doctor!
Thank you, Baboon.
You're surpassing yourself as an imbecile.
Thank you.
Hello, Earl.
You'll have to excuse my assistant.
He's slightly dumb.
Oh, boy.
Man, to give this kid a dream,
I'll need some extra ingredients.
I'll run over to the corner market.
Now, don't do anything till I get back.
"Do not do nothing till I getting back."
Well, maybe I.R. getting idea of grandeur.
I.R. better soup cooker than idiot Weasel.
Should be I.R.
being dreaming soup doctor.
Lying down!
Gym sock!
Getting ready to dream, idiot kid!
I.R. best soup doctor! ♪
Better than stupid Weasel! ♪
I'm home!
Helping me!
That monkey's in Earl's mind!
It's up to me to get him out, for
I am Weasel!
Please, Mr. Baboon.
Keep your voice down.
We must get out of this dream
before Earl wakes up.
We can't get out if Earl isn't dreaming.
This patient is a mindless dullard.
He'll probably never dream
on his own again.
This wouldn't have happened
if you had stuck to being
my lovely assistant.
I.R. ashamed.
Who said that?
Just what do you think you're doing here?
Just doing the butt walk
in someone's mind.
Is that a crime?
Why, yes it is.
According to my calculations,
the reason Earl can't dream
is because he has a two-hundred
and twelve pound man in his head!
I am one-ninety, if I'm a day.
Well, now we're all stuck
in this hapless kid's mind.
Why don't you just take the exit?
See? You not knowing everything,
smarty aleck Weasel!
Don't be alarmed, son. You're cured.
What were you thinking, man?
Another person's mind is no place to be.
Well, I have been dashing
people's dreams for years.
It's a habit, I guess!
I've been in a rut?
Well, it must be in your genes.
Hey, waiting minute! He not wearing jeans!
Oh, well.
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