Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (2015) s04e17 Episode Script

I'm in Love

1 Happy Valentine's Day! Oh Okay.
- You ready? - Yeah.
I'm so excited, Paula.
I just I know I'm making the right decision.
You're gonna share your true love with the whole world.
And it doesn't get any bigger than that.
Come on, we're late, and they're waiting for us.
Okay.
Okay.
Man, leave it to Rebecca to make a big production out of everything.
Whatever.
I'm just glad I don't have to spend Valentine's Day with my wife.
I think it's exciting and romantic.
I love a big reveal.
Like, check this out.
Ah.
Oh, solid.
I thought there were sleeves there.
Okay, this is real, this is real.
Ah my heart is beating so quickly.
Okay, listen, you can do this.
I will be right here, and if you get nervous, you look at me.
Okay? Okay.
And hey, enjoy this moment.
It took a long time to get here.
Yeah.
Yeah, it did.
Ooh, thank you so much for seeing me on such short notice and first thing in the morning.
I keep my Valentine's Days open for walk-ins.
Big trigger day.
Yeah, so, I'm in a bit of a panic, Dr.
Akopes.
Uh, I went on three dates with three guys, and I have no clarity on the situation.
It's killing me.
I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping, and those are usually my two best events.
I just, I have to pick a guy by the end of Valentine's Day, and, uh, that's today.
Okay, Rebecca, I hear you and I think I have the answer.
An answer? Mm-hmm.
Oh, thank God.
You usually want me to figure things out on my own, which I think is such a waste of money.
Not today.
Today I have a wonderful treatment for you.
A treatment? - Is it another pill? - Nope.
I'm gonna show you your future.
- Oh, you're not Dr.
Akopian.
- Mm-mmm.
- You're the Dream Ghost.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm asleep right now.
- Mm-hmm.
This morning you decided to try one of Josh's green juices and had to run to the bathroom, fell asleep on the toilet.
That's where you are right now.
Yeah, that sounds like me.
I can show you anything you want.
What would you like to see? Who I should choose.
Show me that.
Huh.
Oh, my God.
It's Greg.
Of course I should choose Greg.
Ugh, we're so happy.
Look at us.
Wait, what's wrong? What's that empty and sad look on my face? Do I not love Greg? Does he not make me happy? O-Okay, who should I choose, then? Oh.
Nathaniel.
I see what you're doing.
Yep, I should be with Nathaniel.
Show me the future with Nathaniel, please.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh - Oh, my God.
- Yeah, what is that? - Okay.
- I definitely want this.
- Look what I found.
- Oh, is that - It's Baby Ruth Gator Ginsberg! - Where did you get this? I got it at this random store Yes.
Oh, my gosh, look at that.
I mean, look at it.
It's Nathaniel.
I should choose Nathaniel.
Of course.
And we look so happy.
I love you.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
There's, there's that-that look again.
That sad, empty look.
So okay, does this mean it's Josh? Who knows? You're so vague.
Am I? Oh.
That is very All right, I mean, I guess you guys, you guys ate a lot of your waffles - Which is very good, funny - Babe, they're both delicious.
Yep.
It's Josh.
Yeah.
This is happiness.
Did you fill out the form for the Sacramento trip? Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Why didn't we just start with this one? It's great.
It's gonna be so fun.
It's gonna be so fun.
Here we go.
Come on.
All right, honey, I'll see you later oh Anyone want their - Walk, walk, walk - No dinosaur, okay.
Bye, bye, bye.
See you.
What? No, no, no, no There's that look again.
Okay.
So, clearly, I'm not happy in any of these futures.
Why? I don't know.
Do you know? Okay.
You're useless.
All right, I'm just gonna figure this out myself.
Hey.
Hey! Hello, hi.
Hey, what's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong with Josh? Why don't you love him? Why aren't you happy? Ugh, I need answers.
Just come on.
Just For a spirit, you are slow.
Okay.
What's the problem? Is Nathaniel cheating on you? Uh me? Us? Huh? Damn it, I need answers.
Come on.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Tell me.
Huh? Tell me why you're so sad.
Why aren't you happy with Greg? Huh? I mean, what's wrong with him? There's nothing wrong with Greg.
Or Nathaniel or Josh.
They're all wonderful.
Okay, then why am I not happy, with any of them? Don't-don't I love them? You do love them.
The problem is, you don't know who you are.
No, that's not true.
Stupid Dream Ghost.
What a dumb dream.
Oh, I'm not done.
I'm gonna be here a while.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Hi.
Hi, hi, how are you? Mm, hey.
Okay.
I got your text.
What's wrong? I got here as fast as I could.
Nothing's wrong.
I'm really excited.
Look, I read online that there are these new expungement rules, and I checked, and my shoplifting charges are eligible to be stricken from my record.
Oh, wow, oh, that's great news.
Yeah, it could change my life.
I wouldn't be a felon anymore, - no more parole.
- Mm-hmm.
So I just need you to help me file the casework and we can get the process started, - you know? - I'm so sorry, I can't.
This new job that I have, I'm exclusive to my firm, and I checked my contract and I just, I can't do any outside cases anymore.
I'm so sorry.
But I've already talked to Nathaniel, Sunil and Rebecca about taking over all of my cases.
But you know my case.
And you care more than anyone.
I know.
But, hey, look, I get it.
We're friends.
I'm happy for you.
You love that job.
I'll work with someone else.
I am so sorry, Hanifa.
Damn it.
So, did you hear from Rebecca? If I had heard from Rebecca, would I be here talking to you? Uh, probably.
Yeah.
You're a bit needy.
She said she was supposed to let me know by the end of the day, so What does that mean? Is she gonna call? Text? Send a rose over here in per I-I'm unsure about the mechanics of this thing.
Which is a bit annoying.
You helped set up this whole three date thing and you don't know how Rebecca was supposed to respond? Eh, that's not the fun part.
Wow.
Having a beer at 10:00 a.
m.
Unlike you.
Waiting for Rebecca to decide, it's just killing me, man.
Yeah, I wonder how she'll tell you.
She's kind of dramatic.
She might just call you all together and pop out of a giant cheesecake.
Are those cheesecakes they jump out of? Well, whatever she decides, she'll do it in a great way, because she's the woman I love and she's great.
Oh Oh, dear.
I just want to be in love.
Get married, have babies.
I'm ready now.
She has to pick me.
Oh, God, I'm so cold.
- Hold me.
- Okay, I-I will not hold you.
But I do have an extra fleece in my car.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I've been trying to distract myself from thinking about Rebecca and her decision with my work, but half-assing cases at a nothing firm is just not doing it for me anymore.
I'm sorry, should I not say that to you guys? It's fine.
Daddy and Papa understand.
Sir? I just need a signature on this file.
But while my bosses are here, I did want to ask, what is the company policy on fun hair? - I don't think we have one.
- No.
I was thinking about growing my hair long.
Not for a man bun, but for a sweet, sweet pony.
Oh.
Oh.
It's gonna take about a year to grow out.
And there are gonna be some awkward stages along the way, so I need your blessings.
Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yes? I've had the same haircut since 1998, so I don't care.
You make it seem great.
Thank you so much.
I have nothing for you to sign, I just wanted to ask that question.
Giddy-up, pony! Anyway, guys, what do you think? What do I do? Well, maybe take a break.
Like a sabbatical.
Oh, that's a great idea.
I've always wanted to go to Israel.
Don't sabbaticals have to do with Israel? Well, I mean the word "sabbath" and "rabbi" are both in there.
For what it's worth, I think Rebecca's gonna pick you.
'Cause you're the best.
And you don't have any venereal diseases.
Not that I know of.
But check for human papilloma virus.
It's more common than you think, and most men do not experience symptoms.
Okay, great.
Great, tip, thank you, Bert.
You're right.
I'm probably just stressing about Rebecca, and my life and my job are not as lame, boring and sad as they seem.
Again, no offense.
Honey, you here? Hey.
Oh, hi.
I am so happy you're here.
Okay, look.
I know today is your Valentine's decision day and you have a lot on your mind, but I need your help.
I can't work at the county jail because of my new job, and it is killing me.
And I know that you and Nathaniel are covering a lot of it, but I really care about the work that we're doing down there, and I just What do I do? Ah-huh.
Well, you could just ask Julia to start a pro Bono arm of the firm and offer free representation.
- That's a thing? - It's definitely a thing.
Lot of firms do it.
Hey, did you just solve my problem? I mean I hope so.
That's great! Because, you know, sometimes I ask your advice on stuff, and then you just talk about yourself and but this time - Oh, I did that right?! - Yes! - Oh, cool! - So proud of you.
Um What else can I say that's helpful? Well, hey, Paula, never give up on what you believe in.
Well, I will not.
Great.
Okay.
- So, is it appropriate to talk about myself now? - Yes.
Great.
Okay.
So, just now, I was in the bathroom, and I was asleep on the toilet - Multitasking.
Smart.
- Thank you.
And I had just the worst dream.
- Aw.
- So, I dreamt that I had a future with each of the three guys.
But in no future was I happy.
And then Bride Rebecca turned to me and said There were three Rebeccas, one of them was, like, a really pretty bride And she turned to me, and she said that the reason I wasn't happy with them was because I don't know who I am.
And then I woke up! So I don't know what that meant, 'cause that's crazy, right? Well, do you? - Of course I do! - Okay.
I mean, God, no one's worked harder on themselves than I have, you know? I got workbooks and meds and therapy coming out the wazoo.
Yeah.
But you're Rebecca.
So, I mean, those thoughts are coming from you.
Damn it.
You're right.
I have no idea who I am.
You and my unconscious As manifested by a very pretty bride are right.
Oh, Cookie.
Uh, how? How is this possible? I've done so much work.
And now, I'm more confused than I ever was.
And it's Valentine's Day, and it's already What time is it? 11 o'clock.
11 o'clock, Paula! Okay, it's I mean, 11:00 a.
m.
, it's, uh, the day is young.
No, just, 11 o'clock is a significant time.
If we were in a musical, this is where I would perform my big 11 o'clock number.
Really? You don't know okay.
An 11 o'clock number is a big showstopping number with some sort of thematic revelation, and it usually happens around 11:00 p.
m.
, because shows used to start at 8:30, but now they start earlier for some reason.
Uh, okay.
What do I do? Well What I think that you sh Rebecca? Woo-hoo, hello? Shh.
What are you doing? Give me one sec, one second.
Oh, I get it.
You're doing that thing that you do.
All right.
Well, I'll just wait.
It's 11 o'clock, 11 o'clock And the deadline is anytime today But I won't know by 11 o'clock tonight Just like I didn't know At 11 o'clock yesterday Oh, good, an abstract theatrical space.
Now I can actually think.
It's 11 o'clock And by 11 o'clock Shouldn't I have earned a frickin' ever after? I've done the workbooks, taken the pills What more could I do? How do I still not know myself After all that I've been through? I was Working hard at a New York job makin' dough But it made me blue One day I was crying a lot, and so I decided to move to West Covina, California, brand new pals and new career I admitted that's where Josh lived And that's what brought me here, 'cause I was Just a girl in love Didn't want to be held responsible for my actions I had many underlying issues to address And I did and didn't want to be crazy No, wait, I didn't did want to be crazy To clarify, I got a diagnosis A diagnosis And I named the darkness And though I knew I'd have problems again I know I got to move on to a new song, but I want to keep discoing.
I wanted to be a good person, yes, it's true Be a good person, but better than who? This medley just got super intense 'Cause life doesn't really make narrative sense It's 11 o'clock 11 o'clock I need to end this song But I don't know how 11 o'clock, still 11 o'clock Well, Rebecca, you've done it now You ruined everything You stupid bitch Uprooted everything And said you'd made a switch But you're still a poopy little slut Who lives in a dream And doesn't know how to love This whole journey's been a crock In case you can't tell time It's still 11 o'clock.
Rebecca? Hello? Hey! What? Okay! Next up at our open mic, we have a lady who is here to reveal the biggest decision of her life.
So it shouldn't be self-indulgent at all.
I suffer from insomnia, and I think we've just found the cure.
George, I can't see.
Oh, I'm sorry, Maya.
Is my lustrous ponytail blocking your view? Yes.
You know, in the year since you grew that lustrous ponytail, you've gotten a big ego.
Well, I'm sorry.
But it's a part of who I am.
I call her "Raven's Nest.
" - Shut up, come on.
- All right, everybody.
Next up Please help me welcome to the stage Regina Nota Brunch.
Yeah, I clearly wrote "Rebecca Nora Bunch" on the card.
Oh.
Do you want to do this, or do you want to do that? Hi, everyone.
Um Happy Valentine's Day.
Thank you so much for all being here on this very, very, very important holiday.
So one year ago today, I made a very important decision.
That's the reason you're here, of course.
But before I get to that, I, uh I just want to say how inspired I've been by everyone in this room, and their journeys over the past year.
And I'm just talking about my friends, not the other people who are here for the other acts in the open mic.
Sorry.
Valencia and Beth.
You two took a big step, and you did it your own way.
Will you? Valencia, yes.
That was the perfect proposal.
It was exactly what I wanted a moment just for us.
Is that a drone outside the window? Of course it's a drone, what are we doing? Right, of course.
Wait, show 'em the ring.
- We did it.
- We did it! Darryl and April.
You two created a blended family.
April adopted Hebecca.
Oh, wow.
- Darryl.
- I know.
- That's amazing.
- Thank you.
Wow, so you're gonna have three kids in one house, that's a lot.
Four.
No.
Mm-hmm.
It's that super sperm.
Oh, we are so excited.
We already picked out some names, we've got Harryl and Hapril and Hannison and - I'm kidding.
- Okay.
Okay.
By the way, we just found out, so don't tell anyone.
Lips are sealed.
- And now there's another baby! Congratulations - Oof.
Oh, I wasn't supposed to say anything, I'm so sorry.
Why do you tell her things? I honestly have no idea.
Heather and Hector.
You also have have a new addition to your family.
One we all love and adore.
Shout out to your new hot tub.
Oh, yeah.
Oh ooh.
My back Ah Oh, my back.
Ah.
Do you want to see a picture? Sometimes she drives me crazy, but eight jets, four light settings, jumbo cup holders? She's perfect.
She has her daddy's hair.
- In her filter.
- Yeah.
And White Josh.
Something happened with you this year that was really important I want to say it involves the circus.
My a-apartment burned down.
Along with everything I own.
On the same day that my childhood home also burned down in the same wildfire.
- That was it.
- Yeah.
I was at the circus when I found out that that happened.
And I left the circus, as you recall 'cause the circus was over.
Right.
I'm sorry about that.
I never really came around on you.
Never will.
Respect.
"Respect" is not an appropriate response there.
- Respect.
- Okay.
And Paula what you did A pro Bono arm of the firm will allow us to represent women who are forgotten or outright mistreated by the system.
I did a lot of research and I put together a proposal for you.
Um, many firms have these programs and they offer great PR and some tax breaks, as well.
What an amazing ask.
It's so indicative of why we hired you.
Oh, great.
Oh! Oh, I am so relieved.
But we're busy with the cases we already have and we're trying to make the most money for the partners.
You understand.
Yeah, I know.
Um, I really do.
Uh, and-and the thing is, is, uh and I say this with so much affection, um, either we do this, or I quit.
What? I love this job.
But I am not gonna walk around with a hole in my heart because there are people out there who need me and I'm sitting up here on my ass in a fancy suit.
I have to be true to who I am inside.
So.
Thanks.
I loved it here.
Bye.
Paula, wait.
Let's talk.
Damn, Paula.
That was bad-ass.
Which brings us to another person.
The person I care about very much.
And he's really the reason I'm here.
Josh Chan.
Josh, you really are the reason I'm here tonight.
I know you've been waiting for me to make a decision today.
Yeah.
Josh Some day you're gonna find a girl who is perfect for you.
And honestly, I feel like it'll happen soon because you are ready for a serious relationship.
You mean so much to me, I hope you know that.
But I'm sorry.
Oh.
Yeah.
Can I have a minute? Of course, yeah.
Without you here? Oh.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Yes.
I'll just go, I'll go in my But I'm gonna give you your space.
Um You sure I can have Estrella? Of course, you really forged a beautiful bond with number 28.
Well, I got to run, uh I got a magic club meeting.
We let in some more members and George is having a party to celebrate, so, yeah.
- Well, that sounds fun.
- Yeah.
See you.
Good-bye, Josh Chan.
I'm shocked that I'm doing this.
But $80 a month is a great deal.
Oh, we're gonna have so much fun.
I'm a great roommate.
Question do you own a vibrator? You will never know.
I should stop asking people that.
Josh, I moved to West Covina for you.
And I will never forget that.
And I'm so, so happy for you.
That you found what you wanted.
With a little magic.
You found love.
They met in a magic club, that's why I'm saying magic.
Oh, she's sweet.
Yeah.
She's also a lot.
I know, but in a good way.
And then, Nathaniel.
Okay, Nathaniel.
So what I want to say - is that - Ah.
Huh.
Uh, based on your words, tone, and body language, I'm guessing we're not riding off into the sunset on the horses I rented, are we? There are horses? Where are the horses? In the stable.
With the champagne.
And the giant diamond.
Okay, um You have to know, you have to know that the-the times that we've spent together have been some of the best of my life.
But, I You don't, you don't have to explain.
You only get one life.
And you got to live that the way you want.
I think everyone deserves that.
I'm quitting, Dad.
I don't want to work for you anymore, or anyone, for a while.
No, you can't forbid it.
I'm a grown-up man.
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Oh, yeah? Well, I love you.
Thanks for your support, guys.
It really has meant a lot to me.
Of course.
Jinx.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see a man about a monkey.
Hola.
¿Cómo estás? You upended your life.
You changed everything.
But, unlike me, you did it for the right reasons.
And I am in awe of you.
And finally Hi, Greg.
Greg, uh Uh, Greg, I, uh I don't know what I can say to you that I haven't already said.
So tell me.
Yes or no.
Just say it fast.
- I So, before I tell you, - I just, I want you to I want you to understand the choice I'm making.
- Okay.
- Okay.
So, this morning, I had a terrible dream while on the toilet.
This is starting off well.
Right.
And then Paula came over.
Trying to follow.
Greg, you deserve a full explanation, and here it is.
So Right, toilet, Paula came over, I helped her through an issue, and then she asked me probably the most important question anyone's ever asked me in my life.
Rebecca, hello? Hey! - What? - What are you doing? Uh, sorry, nothing, nothing.
No, that's not nothing.
That's You're staring off into space, like you do.
You do that a lot.
What's what's happening when you do that? I don't want to tell you.
It's weird.
Oh, come on, any weirder than the many, many weird things you and I have done since we met? I've just I don't know I've never told anybody, except for the Dream Ghost and Dr.
Phil.
What? What the hell? Okay.
When I stare off into space I'm imagining myself in a musical number.
That's how I sometimes see big moments in my life, as musical numbers.
And because I do that, so does the show.
And by show, I mean the very popular BPD workbook acronym, "Simply Having Omniscient Wishes.
" So, yeah, I I see myself in these songs.
Wait, I'm confused.
What? All right.
Paula, can I show you something? You can show me anything.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Look off with me like this.
Do I have to be thinking anything while I - Just-just look off.
- Okay.
Whoa.
What What is all this? This is me.
Okay, these are all of the identities that I've tried to fit into.
Okay? So this is all the weird and freaky and dumb and useless stuff that is my life and has led me to nothing.
It's not nothing.
It's it's beautiful.
What do you mean, beautiful? I can't focus here.
Let's go back to reality.
Okay, wait, I'm sorry, what do you mean, beautiful? Okay.
Those-those songs that you imagine, when you come back, you've always figured something out, right? I mean, yeah, I guess I've processed something, sure.
And have you ever written them down? Written down my-my mind songs? No.
Why would I do that? I mean, the-the closest I came to that, I guess, was during the community theater revue when I changed those lyrics.
And you loved that, right? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Rebecca, just get me back there.
Uh, okay, uh Baby, it's here.
What you're looking for, the way to know who you are, it's here.
Are you sure? It's not just some coincidence Not random, not by chance Who'd-a thunk it, you're remarkable Not weird Or dumb or cray What you need Just happens to be Here.
These songs in your head, you have to write them down.
That's how you do it.
Write them down.
Write down the songs.
Write down the songs.
Okay.
Okay.
Uh, I need paper! You need a pen! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Now get started.
This is gonna be so much fun.
I know it sounds crazy.
Writing down the flights of fancy in my head.
I mean, you know, what even is that? But, Greg, I've been doing it for the past couple hours, and I think Paula's right, this is what I need to do.
And you need to do this alone? Yeah.
I think that's how this works.
And I don't know how long it's gonna take.
Okay, I hear you, Rebecca.
You just got to know that I'm not gonna wait, not anymore.
I know.
Greg, when I look at you, I see someone who's ahead of me, and who has been ahead of me.
Your recovery, and then your love for Serrano's, I I want that for myself.
She wants to own an Italian restaurant? Oh, come on, you know what she means.
God, I wish you were not still single.
I will not feel safe until one of you is married.
Oh, shh.
Just let her talk.
And so, over the past year, I have done some really new and really scary things.
"When writing songs, the most important thing "is to learn to tell your story, "not a story you get from the outside world, but your own story.
" AJ, this book's, like, amazing! You borrowed my Dartmouth sweatshirt again? There are chocolate stains all over it.
Sorry.
I'll just get him a Harvard sweatshirt, it's better.
Okay, the best songs How many years of piano - have you had? - None.
What other instruments do you play? None.
What do you know about piano? There appear to be black keys and white keys.
Well, showing up is the first step.
Yeah, it is.
Let's do this.
Okay.
Can I call you Rick? - Uh, sure.
- Is that your name? No, but call me Rick.
Okay.
Thanks, Rick.
Yeah, uh, that's That was, um - Was it better than last week? - Sure.
Okay, great, 'cause I've been working really hard.
Yeah.
You're getting most of the notes.
- You're getting there.
- Yes! - It's just gonna take a while.
- Great.
Okay.
I don't know about that last lyric.
I don't think it's good.
Oh, I liked it.
Take it easy on yourself.
Yeah.
I think it's catchy, and I have great taste.
- Really? - Oh, yeah, keep going.
You're doing great, honey.
Will you stop mentioning that hot tub? I'm gonna look really snatched for the wedding.
And, look, I don't know if what I'm doing yet is any good, but all I know is that I can finally show the outside world what's been inside of me this whole time.
All of it.
All of the-the nuances and the gray areas.
It's not just about the act of writing.
It's about how, when I'm doing that, when I'm telling my own story for the first time in my life, I am truly happy.
It's like I just met myself.
Like I just met Rebecca.
I came to this town to find love, and I did.
I love every person in this room.
Each and every one of you.
Again, just talking to my friends, not the other people here for the open mic night.
But, you know what, screw it, I love you guys, too.
Love that sweater.
And now, for the first time in my life, I can say that maybe I'm finally ready for the other kind of love.
You know, the kind we talk about a lot more.
And, hell, it-it might be with someone in this room.
But whoever it's with, it won't be "ending up" with someone, because romantic love is not an ending, not for me or for anyone else here.
It's just a-a part of your story, a part of who you are.
And so, um here we go.
This is a song I wrote.