Creamerie (2021) s01e02 Episode Script

1
(women grunting)
‐ Cut his pants off.
Jamie, wake up!
His leg is bleeding,
so unless you want to
let another man die,
cut off his pants.
Jamie!
‐ Stop, halt, by the powers
vested in me by Wellness,
I command you to
hand over the man.
‐ Go fuck yourself.
‐ What's wrong with you?
‐ We're not going
to turn him over
so they can disappear
him and perm us?
‐ This man isn't sick.
He looks hot, ripply, hairy,
which I find very unattractive.
We need to tell Wellness.
‐ Oh, you you go ahead.
You try it.
You fucking try it.
‐ Jamie?
‐ Pip, this is like
Elliot finding E. T., okay?
‐ This is nothing like
Elliot finding E. T.
We could get permed for this.
Is that what you want?
To lose a chunk of
your frontal lobe
and eat boiled
silverbeet every day?
‐ Like my mother?
‐ Look, if we take him in, we
could get rewarded for this.
Oh my Goddess.
I would be nominated for
the committee for sure.
(fabric ripping)
(Pip gagging)
‐ Oh, shit.
‐ Alex, keep the pressure on.
‐ That's it, I'm
getting in the truck.
‐ No, he's bleeding out.
He'll die if we don't
help him right now, Pip.
Hold him down,
now!
Okay, Alex, are you ready?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Wait.
(Jaime grunts)
‐ [Jaime] Okay, keep
the pressure on.
‐ Dude, you're gonna faint.
‐ I'm not your dude.
I'm gonna get in the truck.
(intense, dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
(cows mooing)
(car horn beeps)
(car tires crunching)
‐ Shit, Wellness car.
‐ What?
Let me see.
‐ [Michelle] Jaime?
‐ Why's she got a clipboard?
‐ Yoohoo?
‐ Yoohoo?
‐ Oh God, my baby
safe inspection.
‐ No Pip.
‐ You gotta you stay.
You're blissed remember?
Pip, no wait.
(door slams)
Wait, wait, wait.
‐ It's unwell not to tell them.
‐ Look, you were the one
who ran him over, okay?
You smashed his face
with a water bottle.
‐ It's an eco canteen.
‐ Please, please, please
don't do this now.
‐ If we don't do this now,
they'll punish us do this.
‐ If you do do this now,
they could suspend my
place in the lottery,
and I've tried for
so long Pip, please.
‐ Wellness wouldn't do that.
‐ Are you sure about that.
‐ [Michelle] Ah, there you are.
‐ Hello.
‐ Welcome.
‐ I've knocked a few times.
Did you go around, did you?
(birds chirping)
Okay, well, I'll put
the jug on shall I?
‐ Please, Pip, for me.
‐ So it says here that you run
a small business dairy farm.
Is that right?
‐ Yep, it is.
And that you have 20 cows?
‐ Yep, well, 20 is
plenty. (chuckles)
‐ Is it?
‐ Well I mean, you know,
one one actually died
the other day, so we're
actually down to 19.
‐ 19
‐ Yes, I don't know why,
I said tha but,
It's actually nearly 20.
'cause ones gonna
give birth soon so.
‐ So what should
I, 19 and a half?
‐ Yeah, 19 and a half, great.
‐ Good.
And Pip, what is your
role in all of this?
‐ Well Pip, actually
she's not involved.
Not in the cow stuff,
but she's part of
the family of course,
'cause we love and we trust her
and she'll always
be there for us.
‐ And then it says
that sister‐in‐law,
Alex, lives with you?
She's currently been blissed
for civil negativity.
‐ Her sister‐in‐law.
Yeah, she's not related to me.
‐ Not related to you?
‐ No, but we love and
we trust her the same
as we love and we trust Pip.
‐ So, where is Alex right now?
‐ She's sleeping in lately.
‐ Uh, we don't know
Uh, she woke up actually.
‐ Yeah, she's definitely
not in the shed.
‐ Don't say that.
‐ Say something.
‐ We don't know, we
don't know, so um.
‐ Do you usually have
trouble keeping track
of people on your property?
Especially those
who are vulnerable
and who require supervision?
‐ No.
(eerie music)
(intense music)
(paper rustling)
‐ Ma?
(intense, eerie music)
(Alex screaming)
‐ (gasps) what was that?
‐ Oh, cows on heat. (chuckles)
Don't you just love
this baby room?
I had a baby son before,
but of course I uh
‐ Of course, of
course, of course.
‐ Jaime maybe you should
go check on the cows.
You should make sure
that they're not
too aroused or anything.
‐ That's not really a thing.
So you know, why don't
you go check on the cows
if you're so concerned?
‐ I'm not involved
in the cows remember?
‐ Okay, why don't we all
go and check on the cows?
‐ What, now?
‐ Now would be perfect.
(intense music)
‐ Who are you?
How did you survive?
You're hurt, okay.
Just calm the fuck down.
Wait, wait, no, no, no.
Don't go out there!
Wellness is out there.
You won't like Wellness.
I said no, don't do it!
(Alex screams)
(man grunting)
‐ The farm would be strictly
off limits to a sprog,
so we don't uh
‐ That would make attachment
mothering rather difficult.
‐ We don't need to see the farm.
(loud crashing)
(man grunting)
(intense music)
(Alex screams)
‐ Get off!
(Man screaming)
‐ There really is
nothing to see in there.
‐ And you're wearing white,
you don't want to get
your pant suit dirty.
‐ Yeah.
(intense music)
(Alex straining)
(Man grunting)
‐ There's hay in there and
the door's really heavy.
(door squealing)
(soft pounding)
‐ Hey there.
‐ Oh my Goddess.
I could have sworn.
(Alex squeals)
(grunting)
‐ This is an amazing paintbrush.
(heavy breathing)
‐ You two.
Come here, come here.
I can't even begin to comprehend
how ashamed of her you must be.
Well done.
Yeah?
Well done.
‐ We do what we can.
‐ We do what is right.
‐ Um Michelle?
‐ Yes?
‐ Do you think seeing as were
going the same way maybe?
‐ What's that?
‐ Do you think maybe I
could ger a ride to work?
‐ Oh, I would it's just that
this is a committee vehicle.
‐ Oh I didn't know.
‐ Of course you
didn't, okay just yeah.
Okay, bye.
‐ Hey, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(car horn beeps)
‐ You owe me.
‐ Hey, I gotta go into to town.
‐ I'll look after him.
(eerie music)
(breathing heavily)
(man screams)
(choking)
‐ Listen Bobby.
I know we got off
to a rough start,
but lets not dwell
on the past, okay?
What is this?
Why do you have this photo?
What do you want
from this woman?
You better start talking,
or I start using this again.
‐ I'll only talk to her.
‐ Well you can't.
‐ Well than I can't talk.
(electricity zaps)
(Chuckling)
Is that suppose to scare me?
Boo!
‐ Fuck.
(keyboard clacking)
‐ Jaime Wu?
I think there's been a
bit of a mix up here.
(phone ringing)
‐ Wellness Center, be your
best, be free, Pip speaking
‐ [Jaime] Pip, I didn't make
the repopulation lottery.
‐ What?
‐ I didn't make it
to the next stage.
‐ But Michelle was
fine when she left.
‐ [Jaime] Do you think there
could have been a mix up
in the files or something?
(humming)
‐ Oh, oh God.
‐ [Jaime] Maybe I don't deserve.
‐ Stop, stop.
You do deserve this.
Look if at first
you don't succeed,
robustly dialogue the
merits of trying again.
‐ Yeah, well I'm not
feeling very robust.
‐ [Pip] But you will.
We can dialogue
about this tonight.
So, go whip some cream
and we'll watch a movie
like old times, okay?
‐ Jesus.
‐ [Pip] Okay?
‐ Yes, oh.
‐ Hello.
(eerie music)
(Crashing)
‐ Wake up.
I'm gonna make this
easier for both of us.
This is temporary self
releasing medication.
It goes in the
base of your neck.
‐ Fuck!
‐ If you struggle
its gonna hurt more.
This'll make you feel great.
Believe me,
all warm and fuzzy.
‐ What the fuck are you, hmm?
Some kind of psychotic surgeon?
‐ No, but I used to
be dental hygienist.
(intense music)
Hold still!
‐ Get away from me!
‐ Hold Still!
‐ Don't do this!
No!
(intense music)
‐ Don't do this, please.
(Alex screams)
(gasping loudly)
(suspenseful music)
(Alex screams)
(glass shatters)
(heavy breathing)
(humming)
(Knocking)
‐ Come.
(hinges squeak)
‐ Sorry, I can come back, sorry.
‐ You're here now.
‐ It's just that you said,
you're door's always open.
‐ So, it is.
Speak your heart.
‐ My best friend was drawn
fro the reproductive lottery.
‐ (gasps) blessings abound.
‐ Well, she didn't make
it to the next stage.
‐ Oh, I'm so sorry.
‐ See, I think Jaime would
make an excellent candidate.
See?
‐ Oh, I love a good mind map.
‐ Me too.
So, as you can see here,
she's been a mother before so
she would know how to do it,
but then she's also
great skin and hair.
So, just really strong genes.
And of course great
support from great friends.
So, I just thought that maybe
there had been possibly
some sort of mix up?
‐ Mix up?
‐ Yes, like you
know Michelle had
put Jaime's name on
the wrong list or
some of the files got smudged
with yogurt or something
‐ That is so interesting.
Almost sounds like
you're casting aspersions
on one of our Wellness
Committee members.
‐ Oh, no, no, no.
Michelle's amazing, I love her.
‐ She's a paragon of
abundance and light.
‐ Totally, yeah.
It's just that I couldn't
help but overhear you
talking to Doc Harvey in
the boardroom the other day.
‐ What did you hear?
‐ You said that securing
an abundant future
was your top priority
and I just think Jaime
could be hugely
abundant for our future.
‐ I love your pants.
They make you look so fruitful.
‐ Oh. (chuckles)
‐ Did you make them yourself?
‐ Yeah.
‐ Thought so.
‐ Thank you for your
truth speak Pip.
I'll look into it.
(humming)
‐ So, she's gone then?
Your mother?
‐ Yeah.
This person is gone.
‐ They did that to
her, didn't they?
What you just tried to do to me.
‐ Worse.
They put a drill in her brain,
for her own good, of course.
Permanent bliss to kill
her delusional trauma
about male survivors.
You came four years
and 22 days too late.
(inhales deeply)
‐ She was the key.
‐ To what?
‐ I guess I'll never
know now will I?
‐ We're you in quarantine?
All the men in quarantine died,
how did you survive?
All this time,
I thought my mom was crazy.
‐ Well, she wasn't.
There are more of us, survivors.
And now we're being hunted.
(intense music)
‐ Why didn't I make the lottery?
‐ Sweet glory, mother of Christ.
What?
‐ My application
was unsuccessful.
(women laughing)
‐ My Pippy Shortstocking.
Thanks for coming by.
‐ Of course.
‐ Thank you for
speaking your concern
regarding certain
repopulation processes.
As it happens, there
was a clerical error.
‐ So, it wasn't you
who rejected me?
‐ Why in the name of all
life giving vulva's would I?
No way, no you're ovaries,
they are pretanaturaly prime,
we should be creaming
those canals every year.
Oh.
‐ What is it?
‐ You see Jaime should
never have been eligible
for the lottery in
the first place.
I have no idea how her
name got on the list,
but thank you so much
for picking it up.
She's been permanently
canceled now,
because of your truth speak.
Here's a top tip, my little Pip,
let me worry about
our abundant future.
You worry about whether
your friends fit into yours.
(intense music)
(liquid pouring)
(emotional A capella music)
(whisk beating)
(Jaime crying)
(Jaime screams)
(crashing)
(door slams)
‐ We got 'em.
We got em' good.
‐ What?
‐ The man, his name is Bobby.
He knows things.
He's not really told me yet,
but when he does, bam! (claps)
They're done!
Wellness and Lane are done.
Who'd have thought, a man
could answer our problems?
(emotional A capella music)
(door slams)
‐ Bobby?
Bobby?
It's Bobby isn't it?
I'm Jaime, nice to meet you.
Look, I know this
seems kind of sudden,
but I need your help, okay?
I don't wanna sex you, I
just want your sperms okay?
We do this with the
cows all the time.
See?
You don't need to aim
into that, you can't.
But you could um,
you could use this.
I'll clean it for you.
Here you go.
(breathing shakily)
Can you just take it.
Take it.
Okay.
So what sort of
things do you like?
Dancing?
Everyone likes dancing.
(Jaime humming)
God, you must be
ready to explode,
how hot is this?
(Jaime crying)
Do you like that?
(door squealing)
‐ What are you doing?
Put that away.
Oh my Goddess.
Eight years without
you and we're fine,
in one day we're back to this.
Shame on you.
Shame on you!
(Jaime sobs)
‐ Shh, we can dialogue.
‐ About what?
There's nothing to
talk about, okay?
I can never have a child
again ever, the end.
(somber music)
‐ I'm sorry.
‐ It's not your fault.
I just don't know if
I can do this anymore.
Do you know what happens to cows
if they're not
milking or pregnant?
I shoot them.
‐ Okay, I can fix this.
Okay, let me fix this.
Just go wait in the house.
‐ What?
‐ Just go.
Go inside the house and wait.
(These Boots Were Made
for Walkin' plays)
‐ All right.
You keep saying you
got somethin' for me ♪
Something you call
love but confess ♪
You've been a messin' ♪
where you shouldn't
have been messin' ♪
‐ Oh my God.
Thank you, oh my God.
‐ Yes, Goddess.
Just go do the thing
before it goes off.
‐ Yeah.
And that's just
what they'll do ♪
One of these days the boots ♪
Are gonna walk all over you ♪
Yeah ♪
You keep lying when
you oughta be truthin' ♪
You keep losing when
you oughta not bet ♪
You keep samin' when
you oughta be changin' ♪
Now what's right is right ♪
You ain't been right yet ♪
These boots are
made for walking ♪
And that's just
what they'll do ♪
One of these
days these boots ♪
Are gonna walk all over you ♪
(intense, suspenseful music)