Creamerie (2021) s01e06 Episode Script

Episode 6

1
(drill buzzing)
(banging at the door)
‐ We're in the
middle of a surgery.
‐ Lane wants you
to do this one now.
‐ Well, it doesn't
work like that.
‐ Do you want me to
bring Lane down here
so you can explain it to her?
‐ This isn't Grand fucking
Central Station, is it?
(gunshots blaring)
(dramatic music)
‐ Quick, Get them up.
Go!
Go!
Wake up, come on. Come on,
wake up. Come on, wake up.
(loud slap)
‐ Hey! Easy on her.
(loud slap)
‐ Ah.
‐ Okay. No, no, no, no. No, no.
Leave it, leave it, leave it.
‐ Ahh!
‐ Okay, okay, all better now.
‐ You're gonna have to blitz me,
make it look like
you're attacked.
‐ No, I can't.
‐ I'll do it.
I want to.
I can do this.
‐ Alex.
‐ Yeah.
‐ I hate you.
‐ I know.
(gun shot)
(dramatic music)
‐ This way.
‐ Where are we going?
‐ Just away from there. Come on.
‐ Easy for you to say. We
don't have shoes or undies
and it's fucking freezing.
What are we supposed
to do with that?
‐ Fashion loincloths?
‐ Loin cloths? Loin cloths!?
I don't know if you remember,
but two minutes ago, I literally
had a hole drilled in my
brain because of you. My
arm, is at a dance party
I'm not invited too.
I don't know how I'm even
talking or, walking right now.
I know we had our shit in
the past but I would never
have done this to you. Never!
So what the fuck do you
have to say for yourself?
‐ Seriously Alex,
what could I say
that would make it better?
‐ Try me.
I acknowledge that, I
I am sorry that
you feel that I
all Elliot ever did
for ET was protect
and stand up for him.
Even when ET embarrassed him.
And even when their
lives were on the line.
I'm no Elliot, I'm the opposite.
I'm a shit friend
and I'm a terrible
Whatever it is, we
are to each other.
‐ Dicks.
‐ Jamie, I'm sorry.
I'm terrified because I
don't know how to come back
from this, but I promise I'll
spend every waking moment
trying to make it up to you.
‐ Yeah. Nah, that
didn't make it better.
So, What's your plan?
You're full of good ideas?
So what's the next one?
‐ Lane has to be stopped.
‐ Solid.
‐ And we have to get
Bobby back from her.
‐ Agreed. But first,
fucking undies.
(uplifting music)
(birds chirping)
Okay, coast is Clear.
Move out now!
‐ Ah!
‐ Chill out, dude.
There's no one here.
‐ Bingo!
‐ Thank God.
‐ Any underwear?
‐ Nah, sorry. Still gotta
freeze our flaps off.
‐ Not like we have a choice.
(suspenseful music builds)
"It's raining men, hallelujah,
it's raining men, amen!"
‐ I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna
let myself get, absolutely
soaking wet, It's raining men,
hallelujah, it's raining men
(brakes screech)
(horn honks)
(cow moos)
‐ Move it! Shoo!
Ah, bloody nature.
(taser zaps)
"She took off to heaven
and she did what"
‐ No, Pip no she's pregnant!
"she taught"
(radio zaps off)
‐ I'm sorry.
‐ Tie her up.
Come on.
‐ Oh God Bobby.
Uh, okay, alright, Bobby
come on, come on lets go.
Bobby!
Pip! What happened to
him? Did she perm him?
Pip! What's going on?!
‐ Guys, we've got to go.
‐ Bobby come on! We
gotta get you to safety.
‐ What is going on?
‐ Do we have to do story
time right here and now,
because we could literally
walk twenty paces that way
and then talk out of
sight. Bobby move your ass!
‐ I'm not going
anywhere with her.
‐ Pip, what happened?
‐ Eight years, eight years, I
never knew how lucky I had it.
I would give anything to go
back in time. So I never had to
deal with any one of you
crazy fucking monsters!
(gun clicks)
‐ Spare me the
historionics, would you?
‐ What the fuck?
‐ Stay back or nobody gets him.
‐ Who has a gun?
‐ Wellness has everything.
Stay back, all of you.
‐ You'll have to shoot me first.
‐ Two for one, can do.
(snickers)
‐ Your baby didn't
ask to be sacrifice.
‐ Well your baby didn't ask
for a bitch of a mother!
‐ Yeah, nice one Alex.
‐ Thanks.
‐ Don't you test me! You of
all people know what happens
when you test me.
‐ I know what you're thinking.
How many bodies does it
take to stop a bullet?
One thick skull.
And to think I was gonna give
you the world on a plate.
‐ Wouldn't want your stupid
plate because everything
you cook is shit.
(gun shot)
‐ Ahhhhhh!
(taser sparking)
‐ Alex! Jesus, you're
electrocuting Pip too!
‐ Fucking ow.
‐ Sorry.
‐ Bobby, bobby!
‐ Oh shit. Someone's
coming. Go! Move!
Go, go, go, go!
‐ Shit.
‐ Hey.
‐ Oh my God, Lane!
You stay here and
I'll get help. Stay.
‐ Now what?
‐ Now you take this necklace.
‐ Alex now what?
‐ We know where he's going.
We've just got to get
there before he does.
‐ Hello!
Hey it's me.
(banging on the door)
Hey!
It said rise friend,
here I am your friend.
Hello?
Anybody?
Hey my name is Bobby
Norman O'Connor.
Please I'm a survivor!
Please.
Please, please.
Stupid sliding door.
Hello
Anybody?
Hello, its me.
Hello
‐ Bobby!
‐ What! No, go away.
This is my safe place.
‐ Why are you whispering?
‐ Shh! Because
they will hear you.
‐ Where are we supposed to go?
‐ Away, the fuck, from me!
‐ No we are in this together?
‐ Bullshit! You don't give
a fuck about me, any of you,
All you care about are the
plans for yourselves so keep me
out of it and AHHHHH!
‐ Ahh!
‐ Excuse me, person with
lethal military grade weapon,
was it your intention to just
kill the male in our group or
all of us?
‐ Pip!
‐ What?
‐ I'd be pretty stupid
to kill the kind
I have sworn to protect.
‐ What?
‐ You on the other hand
‐ What?
(door slams)
‐ We are not safe here.
‐ But this is my safe place.
‐ No it's not.
‐ What?
‐ Gas, they are gassing us!
‐ Who? Why?!
‐ Cover your mouths, get down.
(coughing)
‐ There is no way out!
‐ You, here!
‐ Look out, you will need this.
‐ Alright, come on!
‐ You're next. Quick!
‐ Help!
‐ Come here, come on.
‐ Ughh.
(coughing)
‐ Ahh!
‐ Aghh!
(coughing)
‐ Come on, I've got
you. Grab my hand.
‐ Come on.
‐ You are just like your mum.
You never know when to quit.
‐ What? Who are you?!
(heavy breathing)
No!!
No!
No, come back.
‐ Guys come on it's
getting higher! Come on!
(coughing)
‐ No, no we have to go back.
‐ No, Alex, she's gone! Come
on the gas will start coming..
‐ [Alex] She knows
something about my mother!
‐ Go, go, go, go.
‐ Where?
‐ Doesn't matter
just keep moving.
‐ Ow, you kicked me.
‐ Ugh.
‐ Excuse me?
‐ I said "good".
‐ You wanna, you wanna
do this now Bobby?
‐ No Pip, we aren't doing
this now, keep moving!
‐ You wanna say something to me.
‐ [Bobby] No, I
have nothing to say.
‐ We can settle this with
our fists, if you want.
‐ [Bobby] What?
‐ Isn't that what your kind
do when there is a problem?
You hit each other?
‐ My kind?
‐ Men! If we were men, wouldn't
we just have a good old
punch up?
‐ Pip can you please
talk about this later?
‐ No!
If we let that seed sit, they'd
just turn into land mines.
‐ Just shut the
fuck up and move!
‐ Ow, what now?
‐ What are you doing?
‐ I'm stuck.
‐ What?
‐ What?
‐ I'm stuck. Are you deaf?
‐ Suck in!
‐ I am sucking in!
‐ Oh fuck! It's so bad.
‐ We're gonna die in here!
‐ It's settled then,
when we get out of here
I'll give you one free hit
and then we can move on.
‐ My god! It doesn't
work like that!
Ahhh fuck this bullshit!
‐ Ahh!
‐ Hey guys?
Guys!
Help me shake it!
Come on its the only
way out of here!
‐ Ahhh!
‐ Ughhh!
‐ Wait is this a good idea?
‐ Ahhhh!
(metal crashing)
(coughing)
‐ Oh no! No, no, no, no.
‐ What.
‐ The actual.
‐ Fuck?
‐ Stop right there,
don't fucking move.
‐ Put your hands
where I can see them.
‐ Stand down.
(laughing)
‐ Ah, My three little piggies.
Thank you for returning
my new acquisition.
Guys have been looking
forward to a new friend.
‐ I thought we left you?
‐ Half dead. After being
bitten and electrocuted,
‐ Brutal.
‐ In a brutal
unprovoked beating.
Me in my third trimester,
what can I say?
I'm a fighter!
‐ You are.
‐ So this is where the sperm
ballots sperm comes from.
‐ Oh Goddess no, no.
Dr. Garvey and I are
stockpiling fresh sperm.
‐ Well we don't have to..
‐ We're stockpiling fresh sperm.
‐ Why are you telling them?
Isn't that counterproductive?
‐ What are you undermining me?
‐ Sweetie, I'm not.
‐ Don't sweetie me,
anyway we're gonna
dispose of them after.
‐ Oh Yes. Even that one?
‐ Yes.
‐ The one with the golden vulva?
‐ Yes.
‐ How are we going
to get out of here?
‐ We can't they are everywhere.
‐ We good?
‐ Yeah. May I?
‐ Absolutely.
‐ As I was,
‐ Can I do the clincher?
‐ Yes.
‐ We are stockpiling fresh
sperm, for when the government
supplies of pre‐virus
sperm, run dry.
‐ And once that's happened
we control the population,
the country, possibly the world.
(giggles)
Carpe Futurum!
(moaning)
‐ Please help!
‐ Any questions?
‐ Bu, but wh‐
‐ Buh buh but what?
My bibbity bobbity boo?
‐ The sim card..
This isn't a safe place.
‐ If there's on thing male
survivalists can't resist,
it's a good little puzzle.
Makes them feel special.
‐ No.
‐ But don't take my word for it.
‐ [Bobby] No!
‐ Would you like to
meet the architect?
Actually I think you might
have met them already.
‐ Oh Hey JB. Sis.
‐ Jackson?
‐ No that's Thomas?
‐ Oh sup Bobby?
‐ Oh babe.
‐ No.
‐ Do the thing.
‐ Uh, What thing?
‐ The voice thing.
‐ Oh no, no, no, no.
‐ Go on.
‐ Do it for me.
‐ Okay.
Rise friend,
rise.
‐ Noooo!
‐ Men, they always do that.
(giggles)
Fuck you!
(upbeat music plays)
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