Criminal Minds s03e19 Episode Script

Tabula Rasa

Brian Matloff, This is the fbi! We have a warrant For your arrest! Clear! Clear! Clear! He's going to the roof! You got nowhere to go, man! Matloff! Unh! Uhh uhh! Uh Hang on, man! I'm coming over there.
Uhh! Uh Morgan, don't do it! Uhh! Ohh No! Oh! Uh! He's still alive.
Not for long.
Not after that.
We need e.
, southside Alleyway.
Send them now.
It's remarkable.
Something like this Makes you question Everything you Thought you knew.
Like The monolith in 2001.
So there was actually a time When something like this Was socially acceptable? Oh you're young.
The eighties left a lot Of people confused.
This is, uh, Especially sad, though.
All right, very funny, Guys.
Very funny.
Do? What did you do to it? Well, you obviously Altered it in photoshop Or something.
That hair? Oh, no, pussycat.
That's all you.
Garfield high, Class of '89.
You really didn't Change anything? I hacked it, as is.
You're seriously Trying to tell me You don't remember Rocking that look? Perhaps your lack Of recognition Stems from a dissociative fugue Suffered in adolescence, Say, at a siouxsie And the banshees concert.
It's so weird.
It's like some other life.
What was that about? Brian matloff.
Who? Uh, aka the blue ridge Strangler.
Oh, right.
That was, Like, 4 years ago.
The blue ridge parkway.
He was never convicted.
He slipped into a coma Before he could be tried.
Looks like they're finally Gonna get their chance.
He just woke up.
I don't care.
If his name's On the file, pull it.
I gotta go.
How are you, cece? Good.
Quite a turn, huh? Yeah.
Thanks for coming down.
So what's your plan? Plan? Try him and fry him.
Hillenbrand? You can come back now.
The indictment Is still alive And i want you on board To testify.
Sure, whatever i can do.
But 4 years is a long time.
Meaning what? The indictment May be intact, But the case won't be.
People move on, retire, Evidence degrades.
I forgot you used to be A prosecutor.
And i got burned More than once When time changed The fabric of a case.
Well, time hasn't Changed the facts.
He killed 3 people, Maybe more.
Who knows? Maybe rip van winkle's Ready to come clean.
If you're talking About mr.
Matloff, I'm afraid That's not likely.
The patient has focal Retrograde amnesia.
What? You're telling me He doesn't remember The murders? He can't even remember His name.
"All changes, Even the most longed for, "have their melancholy.
"for what we leave Behind us "is a part of ourselves.
"we must die to one life Before we can enter another.
" Anatole france.
He had a type.
Brunette, young.
They were jogging? Alone, early in the morning.
Easy prey.
Well, that's about the worst News i could have gotten.
Marvin leopold, Our only key witness, Died 2 years ago.
How'd you know? He o.
? I remember he had A heroin problem.
Your best witness Was a junkie? It was solid.
He put Matloff at the park With darci corbett, Victim number 3.
The warrant And the indictment Were made largely On the witness.
Everything else Is circumstantial.
I could name a dozen killers We got convicted with less.
Well, you're not The one arguing A rail-thin case In front of The 23rd circuit.
The rocket docket.
Gives me half the time To prepare.
I can help you prep.
And i'll go over the case With our team.
The local detective Retired.
There may be lines Of investigation That fell off.
Cece: i appreciate it.
We're not just doing it For you.
We're doing it for them.
Wish i could say It was good to see you again.
This is our, uh, Newest agent Dr.
Spencer reid.
Ted jarvis.
A little young, aren't you? No offense.
None taken.
In fact, Neural processing speeds Reach their maximum At around age 15, So when it comes to Being affected By crime scenes And other Graphic visual input, We're all really The same age.
Tell me what you see.
Ligature marks Seem to match that Of the previous 2 victims.
He uses a belt.
It's his signature.
Tan line on the wrist Means her watch is missing.
He takes trophies.
They're always buried Facedown.
It's a sign of remorse.
He can't bear Looking them in the face.
So he knows them personally? You don't have to know somebody To regret killing them.
No, he picks these women Because he can.
He's opportunistic.
These victims Happened to be In the wrong place At the right time.
Bogey coming in.
The father? Don't suppose you guys Want to rochambeau For the privilege? I'll go.
Go get 'em, tiger.
It's her, isn't it? It's my darci.
It might be, sir, But if it is, You don't want to see her.
This isn't a memory That you want.
After the raid On matloff's apartment, We discovered he had Another area of interest.
Native american mythology.
We realized our profile Wasn't complete.
There's a native American believe that says Burying a body facedown Traps the soul And prevents it From haunting the killer.
That's why he buried them Like this? That was the theory.
I don't see any progression.
There's no learning curve.
Do you think there Could have been more, Earlier victims When he was honing His skills? We considered it A possibility.
It turned out matloff Worked in blue ridge parkway For the forest service.
He had free reign Over the entire park.
It says here he was Raised polish catholic.
Any idea what led him To identify with native American culture? We didn't get that far.
Another thing we never got Was any physical evidence At his apartment Tying him to the crimes.
What about the jewelry he took, The souvenirs? No trace.
So what did he do with them? Well, if we didn't need The answer to that Before, we do now.
It turns out our star Witness has been dead For 2 years.
He was the only one who could Put matloff at the scene.
There might be another way.
We'd like to request That the defendant Undergo the process Of brain fingerprinting.
This procedure will show If the memories Of the crimes Are present in the mind Of the defendant, Regardless of whether or not He chooses to recall them.
Your honor, Where do i begin? The science On this type of testing Is unproven, To say the least.
In the state of iowa Vs.
Terry harrington, The results were ruled Admissible as scientific Evidence As defined in Congress ruling 702 And in daubert v.
This is a hail mary, Your honor.
They have no evidence And they know it.
And beyond that, My client Is in a very fragile Mental state.
I can't in good conscience Let them go poking around In his brain.
What about that? Is it safe? The test is non-invasive And completely safe.
He'll simply Be looking at images On a computer screen While an eeg monitors His brain activity.
Subject him to graphic imagery To prompt some kind of reaction, Which they can then point to As evidence of guilt? It's perverse.
I object to even- I want to do it.
Uh Just one moment, your honor.
Your honor Every day i waken to this, uh Nightmare Of not knowing who or What i am, And if this test Can really help me remember, Then whatever the consequences, I- i want to do it.
I have to.
I didn't see you in there.
How have you been? Oh not bad, Considering.
Um You aren't buying this Amnesia thing, are you? I'm trying to figure that out.
It's probably something The lawyer thought up.
It won't work, will it? We have a pretty strong case.
That's good.
You look different.
Your hair.
It's been 4 years.
I forget.
Sometimes i feel like Darci's just Ah-it messes with time, This thing.
You know? You lose time.
I know.
You always hear about Closure, you know? You never really Knowwhat that means.
Maybe now i can Get on with things, You know? How's mrs.
Corbett doing? Is, uh, she here? Oh, no, no, no.
She's, uh We split up.
It Was hard to It was my fault, really.
I'm sure it was just, You know It happens.
It's ok.
Everything's Gonna be ok now.
You're with the fbi, right? You don't remember me? We met during The investigation.
So you don't have Any doubts, then, About me, Who and what i am? No, i don't.
We're ready here.
Yeah, jj.
I'm in with matloff.
I'm at the hospital.
I may have something Interesting.
What have you got? Matloff had a visitor That came about once Every 6 months While he was here.
Somebody we know? It's not a name i recognize From the case file.
The name on the visitor log Is nina moore.
Track her down.
I gotta go.
I'm on it.
He tested no mermers Across the board, On each variable image.
Mermers? It's an acronym.
Memory and encoding related Multi-faceted- Is it good or bad? Depends on how you look at it.
It means he showed no Familiarity with the images.
Either he really Doesn't remember- Or we got the wrong guy.
The negative results on The brain fingerprinting May have just killed Any chance we have Of putting matloff away.
The d.
Isn't required To enter it into evidence.
No, but he can get it On discovery And you can bet He's gonna use it.
And that's why i distrust All technology.
So how'd he get over? I thought nobody Could beat this test.
The damage To his parietal lobe Must have been More extensive Than previously thought.
The brain injury Could have literally Deleted his memories.
Oh, he did the murders, And we'll prove it.
What he remembers Doesn't matter.
Doesn't it? I mean, if those experiences Are gone forever, Doesn't that sort of make him, I don't know, like Yeah.
Different person? No, not at all.
Not to me.
It's interesting- It goes to core arguments About the nature Of identity.
There's a western Philosophical concept, Causal dependence, That says that a psychological Connection to the past Plays a key role In defining who we are.
Reid, what are you saying, That this guy shouldn't Be tried? I'm not saying that.
Prentiss: but one could Make the argument That in his current condition He's no longer A danger to society.
Not until he gets His memory back.
But it's not just about This guy being a danger.
It's about making sure Somebody pays For what happened To those girls.
But it's not up to us To decide to what extent He should be punished.
That's for the courts.
Where are we with matloff's Mystery visitor? Prentiss and i contacted Every recorded nina moore Within 500 miles Of the hospital.
Matloff's a textbook loner.
No meaningful relationships, No family, no girlfriends.
But anyone who would visit A coma patient- A triple murderer Coma patient.
We're talking about somebody Who feels connected to him.
Maybe connected enough To know the truth.
The truth could be She's just a fan.
Every serial killer's Got 'em.
Let's go back to the hospital And interview the staff.
We need to build a profile And help locate this woman.
You all right in there? You were screaming.
It was just a dream.
I guess i'm Anxious with the trial Starting tomorrow.
You passed that brain test Thing, right? That's good.
Suppose i could get Something to Write with And a piece of paper? Doctor said It'd be good for I'll see what i can do.
Hey, what's that smell? Um It's popcorn.
Popcorn? Bill made some On his break.
Do i like popcorn? Ladies and gentlemen, You are here To bring justice To the families Of 3 beautiful young women Whose lives were cut short By a cold And calculating killer.
Darci corbett, Celeste ferami, April sotherford.
Or a jog in the park When they were approached By an employee Of the forestry service.
An employee Who used his authority To lure these women Into a secluded area Where he could safely Perform the act of murder.
Was it the work Of a serial killer? Perhaps.
But the theory That my client Is the responsible party Is just that- A theory.
He strangled them slowly, Inflicting maximum Suffering and terror, And in the process, Turned the blue ride parkway Into his own private Killing fields.
No eyewitness, No fingerprints, no dna, No murder weapon.
Not one shred of hard evidence.
The only way that They can tie my client To these crimes Is through the pseudo-science Called profiling.
At the close Of evidence, You will know That brian matloff Is the man who Committed these crimes, Whether he remembers it Or not.
So, through this process Of linkage analysis, You concluded That all 3 murders Were perpetrated By one man.
Yes, that's correct.
And you believe that man Is brian matloff? Yes, i do.
Can you tell us how you Came to that conclusion? Along with agents Reid and morgan, We began to analyze The behavior Of the unknown subject As manifested before, During, and after The commission Of the murders.
Our goal was to generate A suspect pool, A list of names which We'd eventually narrow down To one person.
He hunts 200,000 acres Like it's his own backyard.
He attacks high-risk victims, Young, strong female joggers, But in low-risk locations.
Like david carpenter, The trailside killer.
Are there other parallels? This guy's different.
Carpenter used A blitz attack.
This unsub insinuates himself, Disarms the victims.
Maybe he uses a con, Playing the injured Hiker, lost dog? Too many variables.
She could run for help Or call 911 on her cell phone Before he gains control.
He's in a position Of authority.
But not law enforcement.
A cop would know better Than to bury a body In 2 feet of dirt.
The forest service Would give him access To service roads.
This deduction revealed to us How the killer gained Satisfaction from his crimes.
By burying the victims In the park, He was able to revisit The scene And relive his acts Over and over.
So, i imagine there are A lot of people Who work for The forest service.
He won't be a new employee.
He's cautious, he's organized.
He leaves behind No trace evidence.
He's bordering on paranoid.
He's the kind of guy Who needs to know Exactly what the cops know.
He's probably inserted Himself Into the investigation Already.
Hey, what's that new Tech girl's name? Uh Gomez, i think.
Excuse me, gomez.
Hey, baby girl.
Baby girl? Forgive me.
I just Didn't know the real- I've been called worse.
What can i do for you? And what did technical Analyst garcia do At that time? We asked her to check names Of forestry employees Against a list of witnesses Interviewed By the roanoke police.
And were you able to find A common denominator? Yes, one.
Brian matloff.
Of course it went well.
I taught him everything he knows About giving testimony.
How'd the jury react? Good.
Give me a call After the defense Has had a go at him.
Reid says thing are good At the trial.
How did it go At the hospital? Our interviews filled in Some blanks About the woman Who visited matloff.
Uh, late 40s to mid-50s, With quiet, Almost nervous demeanor.
On her first visit, She didn't even make it Into the room.
She just stood in the doorway And watched for a few minutes And then left.
And on later visits, She'd what, sit with him, Talk to him? Read to him.
On more than one occasion, She asked the nurses About his condition, And they said she appeared "concerned with his pain.
" That sounds almost maternal.
We thought so, too, But his parents Effectively disowned him After the indictment.
So we called his mother To make sure, Got to talking, And guess what.
She's not his mother.
And his father's Not his father.
Matloff was adopted? This visitor could be His birth mother.
She's the right age.
They may have had a relationship That no one knew about.
What other physical Description did you get? Uh, brunette, brown eyes, Dark complexion.
One nurse thought hispanic, Another one said mediterranean.
What about native american? That would explain His interest In the culture.
He's trying to get in touch With his roots.
Now, my client Ran from the police, A behavior That you called A strong indicator Of his guilt.
Yes, that's correct.
Were you aware that He had An outstanding warrant At the time of his arrest? Yes.
I believe it was for An automobile accident, A hit and run.
So isn't it possible That mr.
Matloff fled Not because He was guilty of murder, But because of This other warrant? There were 8 law enforcement Officers in bulletproof vests.
I doubt any reasonable Person would assume- A yes or no answer Will do.
Yes, it's possible.
54, native american.
Ma'am, i have all that.
What i really need now Is identifiable information.
Yes, i know what A closed adoption means.
Do you know What a court order means? we don't Have time for a court order.
You know what, ma'am? I am done being nice.
If you look to your cursor, You'll notice it's moving On its own.
That's me hacking Your secure network.
Now i got her file, Now i got her social, And now, 'Cause you're grumpy, I'm gonna send your boss These jamaican Vacation photos.
Check you out- No tan lines.
Nina genesee, Married in 1978, Changed her name to moore, Current address Madison heights, virginia.
Madison heights.
No, i called this woman.
She said she wasn't the one.
Said she'd never even Been to roanoke.
Why would she lie? And why hasn't she Tried to see him Since he woke up? So, you've stated That it was your profile Of the killer That led you and the police To my client's door That night.
Behavioral analysis Was a factor in our Investigation, yes.
And was behavioral Analysis also a factor In the olympic park Bombings case in atlanta? Yes, it was.
And was that suspect You identified, Richard jewell, Ever convicted Of the bombings? Objection.
Goes to the credibility Of the witness and his field.
I'll allow it.
No, he was not Convicted.
Because he was innocent.
Your profile led you To the wrong man.
Jewell was not the perpetrator, But if you look at the real Olympic park bomber, Eric rudolph, You'll see that our profile Was dead on.
Well, how about If we look at The baton rouge killer? Your unit said That he was white And living in the city.
He was black And from the suburbs.
You said that dennis rader, The btk killer, Was divorced and impotent.
He turned out to be Married with 2 kids.
Objection, your honor.
He's giving a sermon.
Do you have a question In there somewhere, counselor? Having been wrong On those cases, Isn't it possible That you were wrong About brian matloff? No.
The fact is, Behavioral analysis Is really just Intellectual guesswork.
You probably Couldn't tell me The color of my socks With any greater accuracy Than a carnival psychic.
Charcoal gray.
Well, look at that.
He got one right.
You match them To the color of your suit To appear taller.
You also wear lifts And you've had the soles Of your shoes replaced.
One might think You're frugal, but in fact, You're having Financial difficulties.
You wear a fake rolex Because you pawned your real one To pay your debts.
My guess is to a bookie.
I took this case pro bono.
I am one of the most Successful Criminal attorneys In the state.
Your vice is horses.
Your blackberry's been buzzing On the table every 20 minutes, Which happens to be The average time between posts From colonial downs.
You're getting race results.
And every time you do, It affects your mood in court, And you're not having A very good day.
That's because you pick horses The same way you practice law- By always taking the long shot.
Well, you spin A very good yarn, agent, But as usual, You've proven nothing.
If i'm not mistaken, The results from the fifth race Should be coming through Any minute.
Why don't you tell us If your luck has changed? Your honor, this is- What do you want me to do? Either show us your blackberry Or cut him loose, counselor.
Nothing further.
Wise decision.
Court will be adjourned Until 9 a.
Hey, uh, i just wanted To make sure you knew That cross-examination Wasn't as bad as it sounded.
I'm not worried.
I have a better Understanding Of things now.
Understanding? After darci died, i started To see a therapist.
Had a lot of guilt, You know.
Thought that i should Have been there for her, Saved her somehow, I don't know.
This guy, this shrink, He always brought it back To control.
He said i had to Accept the fact That there were always Gonna be things in life I couldn't control.
I think that's wise.
I realize i have no say Over what goes on In that courtroom.
See you later, spencer.
Nina moore? Yes.
We're with the fbi.
Come in.
Why didn't you Come forward? I was protecting My family.
They don't know? I was a kid myself.
You give away a child I know it sounds cold, But you just want To forget about it, Believe it never happened.
So that's how i lived.
But you maintained A relationship with brian.
Maintained? No.
I only saw him once Before the accident.
You never got the sense That maybe he was A murderer? Not in the slightest.
I think it was probably- Well-i mean, From what i understand In the news, We met before it started.
And when was that meeting? He just called me Out of the blue.
The records were Supposed to be sealed.
I think he hired someone To find me.
And what did you Talk about? He was interested In my family, My kids.
He just wanted to Call every once In a while, Maybe meet Around the holidays.
But i couldn't.
I could barely bring myself To look at him.
I just You rejected him.
Whatever he became, I can't help but feel it It's my fault.
You can't blame yourself For what he did.
Why did you visit him At the hospital? Because it was safe, I suppose.
I could be there for him And no one had to know.
And because when i would Read to him And listen to his breathing It felt right.
Whose car Is that out there? The-oh.
Who's this? Excuse me.
That's a lot to explain.
She rejected him.
That was the stressor.
She's just lucky He took no for an answer.
It could have been A lot worse If he pressed the issue.
Maybe he did.
Did he ever send you Anything? Any gifts? I wanted To throw them away, but I couldn't.
You ok? Yeah.
It's just, uh I didn't sleep last night.
I'm not supposed to do this, But, um I brought something.
You want to know If you like popcorn, right? So, uh You remember? I think i'm starting to.
Corbett, it won't help.
Think about what this will do.
Think about darci.
I am thinking about her.
If she knew What you were about to do, And depending on Your belief system, Maybe she does, Do you think She'd want this? Give me the gun.
You want him to suffer, But he'll be dead.
He won't feel anything, You'll be in prison, And you will regret it, Believe me.
I'm already in prison.
How did you know? Your affect, your behavior.
You were too calm yesterday, And you called me By my first name.
If you're so good At predicting things, How come you couldn't Stop him before He took my darci? Look, i shouldn't Say anything, but There's some new evidence.
What evidence? My name is nina moore.
And what is Your relationship To the defendant? I'm his birth mother.
His biological mother.
I gave him up for adoption When he was a baby.
And that was how long ago? So you didn't have A relationship with him? No.
I never saw him Until 2003.
He tracked you down? Yes.
We met at a cafe And talked for a bit, And then he left.
And what did you Talk about? He said he wanted To be a part of my life.
I told him it was impossible.
You felt that He was being Unrealistic, Irrational even? No, not at all.
He was just a little lost.
He wanted to belong To something.
Turning him away Was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
A person can't live Two lives.
I'm sorry, brian.
I'm so sorry.
Moore, Did the defendant Make any subsequent attempts To communicate with you? A few months after that, I got something in the mail.
There was no note or anything, Just a postmark from roanoke, And i knew That's where he lived.
And what were the contents Of the envelope? It was a necklace.
I got another, And then a watch.
I thought he was trying to I- i don't know, Just persuade me with gifts.
I thought they were Estate jewelry.
Your honor, i'd like To enter into evidence People's exhibit "f" Through "h.
" Are these the items that You received in the mail? Yes.
And the watch In this bag- Do you see it In this photograph? Yes, that's it.
Let the record reflect The witness has identified The watch Worn in this photograph By murder victim Darci corbett.
I have nothing further.
Court is adjourned Until 9 a.
Tomorrow For cross.
Rough day In there, huh? Cece, i need To talk to you.
Listen, i don't want To jinx this, But something tells me I'm going to be buying Your team a round of drinks When this is over.
I think he's getting His memory back.
I'll get you undone So you can change.
You ok? A lot on my mind.
He was crying in there, When his mother Was on the stand.
And you don't have That kind of reaction Unless you're connected.
You been watching The trial? Most of it, yeah.
Today when my mother Talked about having To choose one life Do you believe that's true? I don't know What you mean.
Don't you think You'd have to choose? Maybe you're right, but The fact is, it doesn't Really matter anymore.
Doesn't it? I mean, Don't you want to know Who you're putting away? We're heading Over there now.
Stand back, people.
What's going on? Excuse me.
Are you ok? What happened? He has my gun.
She's a law clerk.
Matloff stuck a gun In her face, Pulled her out of her car, Late model nissan.
And you've put out an apb? Statewide.
We'll block Every road out of town.
Don't forget service roads.
He knows them all.
You know this guy, right? Any idea Where he might be headed? It all depends on who he is.
Hey! Did you know? Know what? You talked to matloff Every day.
Did you know that his Memory was coming back? I don't have any idea What you're talking about.
He can't help us.
Matloff is a paranoid Personality.
Even if he was aware He wouldn't have told anyone.
Get over to the jail And into his cell.
Look for anything, any clue That might tell us Where he's headed.
Assuming his memory Is coming back, Where's he headed? Simple answer's His birth mother.
His victims were brunettes.
Typology suggests that He was projecting rage at her.
That's not an option.
She's with us, protected.
He doesn't have A specific target.
He'll either run Or go on a spree.
Did we do this? The brain test? Reintroducing All those memories? Is it possible That it could have acted As a cognitive Rehabilitation? This guy is who he is.
That's got nothing To do with us.
Hotch, i think i know Where he's going.
Any sign of him? He's got about a half-hour Head start on us.
There's a waterfall Near the site Where we found Darci corbett's body.
Yeah, that's linville falls.
That's where we need to go.
Figured this guy Would have headed Straight out of town.
Why'd he come back here? He's looking for something.
For what? Himself.
That's him.
It's him.
He's got a girl with him And she's not moving.
All right, let's move in.
No, wait.
If we rush him, He might Try to kill her And himself.
How do you want to do this? I want to go in there Myself.
Get your shooters High and wide.
Think he's gonna Shoot his way out? Well, i don't want to be The only gun in there If he does.
I want you To show me your hands.
Hands, brian! Stop! Stop there, please.
Who is she? She was my first.
The minute my feet Hit the ground, I knew right where To find her.
I killed them.
You remember.
Every moment.
Every Tiny detail.
I remember, but It's still not real.
It's like The memories belong To someone else.
Well, maybe in a way They do.
But you still have to pay For what's been done.
If i'm gonna be put to death, I might as well die Right here.
The court May show you mercy, But you have to earn it.
If you believe you're A different person, Then prove it And do the right thing.
It's over.
Matloff's pleading out.
I couldn't have done it Without you.
First round's on me.
No, we're gonna Take a rain check.
We got a long drive.
Another time.
We will.
Lock up when you leave.
Darci corbett's father Brought a gun To the courthouse today.
You're kidding.
You think he was serious About using it? I think so, yeah.
He was looking For closure.
You think He'll get some now? I don't really think so.
I mean, People's emotional lives Aren't linear like that.
To say that A killer's conviction, One single event Can just suddenly Bring peace to a man, I don't-i just don't Think it's possible.
Well, i guess he has to try.
I mean, when it comes Right down to it, What choice does he have? Agent reid.
Sorry, i, uh, I know it's late, But, um, i wanted To give you the news Before it hit the paper.
Matloff's changing His plea to guilty.
Everyone agreed To life without parole.
You didn't have to come here.
I also came to return this.
I had them release it From evidence.
It belonged To darci's grandmother.
They were very close.
I couldn't help but notice The inscription on the back.
"glory in a flower"? I'm not familiar.
Poetry was something They shared.
It's wordsworth.
"what though the radiance That was once so bright "be now forever taken From my sight "though nothing can Bring back " Thanks.
Reid: "though nothing Can bring back "The hour of splendor In the grass, "of glory in the flower, "we will grieve not, "rather find strength In what remains behind.