Danger 5 (2011) s02e07 Episode Script
Welcome to Hitlerland
Previously on Danger 5 What's the big idea? What do I become? Some sort of fruit in the future? See you down the club, man.
Dammit, Cindy! I'm not made of money! To the future! Hitler Hat? Hitler Hat?! Where is it, kransky man? Mozzarella, mozzarella.
Found it! Make that time travel cocktail, Pierre, and get us out of this godforsaken Nazi universe.
It's our only hope for survival.
It's vegan mozzarella.
Where's the real stuff? Noooo! The cheese is no good, my friends.
I think we're stuck in this alternate timeline.
Oh, God! Christ, God! No! Alright! Fortune cookie.
Well, that's pretty negative.
Holly! Holly! That voice.
Hitler.
He's invincible! Run, my friends! I'll save you! Nooo! Nooooooo! No, no, no.
Don't don't shoot her.
We surrender, man.
Are you are you serious?! No! No! No! No! Nooo! Arrgh! Oh! The darkness! The Hindus were right.
The afterlife is eternal darkness.
Tucker, relax.
We're alive.
Jackson! Is that you? Oh! What the f? Hey, Hitler, you son of a bitch, what's with this shit? I can't move my arms.
Shit.
Oh, God.
Pierre's gone Nazi.
Oh, what have they done to his beautiful voice? Is Claire alive? Claire? Where are you? Claire? Claire is gone! Get over it, man.
First Holly comes back to life, then Hitler, then we all come back to life, but Claire's still dead? Oh, just kill us, Hitler, you pomegranate.
What the hell is a pomegranate? Wait! Wait! Where you going, Dickler? Hitler's getting away! I'll stop him.
Ooh! I can't understand you, Pierre, but I think we need to finish this operation or Holly's gonna die for real.
Luckily these size 12s saved lives in Pyongyang.
My lives.
Here we go.
Ahh! Argh! It's alright.
I've got this under control.
What's that? Hmm? My German's a little rusty, but I think he wants me to find the end of this sticky tape.
Ilsa.
You shot me in my own head.
I said you shot me in my own head, you heartless thing.
Oh! Got it! It had ripped down the middle.
You know? I have a bionic arm? I wish I had a bionic arm.
I wish I had a bionic Claire.
Get her! Get her! Get her! Huh? Up yours! We're chasing Holly? Well, this fun run just turned into an un-fun run.
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Ohh! Someone get me home! Oh, my God.
He's everywhere.
Ohh! Leave me alone, Knitler! Let me go! Oh, dammit.
I can't get away from you bunch of Oh, shut up, you noisy brat! Ugh! Hey! Who do you think you are, hmm? I'm you.
Mmm.
That's a sweet push-up.
Will somebody please tell me what is going on? Alright.
But you'd better listen because I'm only saying this once.
Right.
Listening hats, everybody.
After the fall of Dog Mountain in World War II, Hitler survived, charged with Holly's invincibility power and became Boss Hitler.
Meanwhile, The Colonel swallowed an embryo while digging for worms.
That embryo was me.
Boss Hitler won the war and cast the Allied nations into space.
And The Colonel took exile in Danger Manor where he hatched me, raised me and trained me to become the ultimate Danger warrior.
Danger 1.
So what do you mean The Colonel swallowed you at Dog Mountain? I'm a Nazi test tube baby.
Here.
Look at my birthmark.
This whole time we've been protecting a Nazi super child? Holly, show me your neck.
Oh, no way, Jose! Dammit, show me your neck! Oh, fine! But I don't have a birthmar Oh, yeah.
That.
It's alright, Ilsa.
I'm taking notes.
Boss Hitler is too powerful for me to destroy alone.
The Colonel is convinced you four hold the key to his demise.
Colonel? I fail to see how.
We're going to see The Colonel again! A reunion! But Claire won't be here.
She always brings the fizzy Oh! Oh! Is it good? Well, that's flat.
Hey! Get down! She's a bomb! II can't understand you, Pierre! She is a bomb! Just get down! She's a bomb! You shut up! You just couldn't deal with the fact that she was better than you, could you? She was Max Level Holly.
You're No Level Holly.
I didn't do anything! Dammit, Pierre! Speak American! Oh, what a shemozzle.
Max Level! Hey, guys! Look out! See this? You're this.
Oh, God! Tucker, shoot them! Shoot who? I got it! Damn arm! Not the space! Gosh, it's gusty in here.
I don't know what's real anymore.
They're pumping me full of H.
H for Hitler! Hitler? That's me! Welcome to Hitler's Haus.
That's me! Kill him dead, Pierre! What did I do to deserve this? Shit, man! Where the hell are we? A bionic arm is not an accessory, Holly.
It's a responsibility.
Now stop being a silly billy and start acting your age.
I didn't do anything! It wasn't my fault.
It was the arm.
Where are we? Smells like potpourri.
We three warriors of the USSR are at your service, my queen.
But first, we feast! Damn you, sweet corn! They should call you 'slippery corn'.
Claire loved corn.
What I wouldn't give to share one last cob.
Tucker.
Claire? Is that is that you? I've come to tell you something before I go forever.
To tell me that you love me? Oh.
How I've longed to hear you No.
I've come to warn you.
The Russian warriors are working for the Nazis.
A trap.
Better kill everyone, then.
Thanks, honey.
Goodbye, Tucker.
I'll save you for later, Claire plasm.
What's wrong, Starfish? I've been through a lot of crap because of these bozos.
My prom date to tried to kidnap me, I got bit by a dinosaur.
Hell, I was even Princess of Russia for, like, five minutes.
You'd think by now they would Treat you like grown-up? Exactly! You know what grown-ups do? They drink wine together.
Oh.
You're cool, Pelican.
Call me Greg.
Tastes like sleep, yes? Oh, man.
That guy's a total nut job.
Quickly, Holly.
We must fly.
Climb onto my back.
Yeah! I can smell you, Herring! There.
All safe again.
Who wants a shower? I can't freaking understand you, man.
I think I'm losing it! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! No! Where? Oooh! What did I do to deserve this? My god.
He's a cyborg! Oh, look! A belt of space bread! Now all we need is space soup! This is so cool! Yeah! We're going down! Ah! Space pelican for tea.
Again.
Too many feathers.
Argh! Holly! You've returned, disguised as a pelican to fool the Nazis.
You shot me out of the sky, bonehead.
Got any soda? No.
You're the other one.
What happened to the others? The other Holly is dead.
I'm pretty sure Hitler's got the rest.
Hurry up with that soda.
Space made me real thirsty.
My Holly is dead? How? Oh, no.
It's happening again.
Must I do everything myself? Ew! Gross! Get your hands off my lamp and climb into this carcass! Move! Move! That's Hitler! Holy Shut up! Shut up! Uh, yes! Go.
Go, go! Who's hungry for broccoli burgers? No! Make the laughter stop! What did I You're off the air, Sitcom Hitler.
Oh, Colonel! Just shut up and listen.
Oh, Colonel Chestbridge.
It's so good to hear your I said shut up.
I've come to give you these five rings charged with the power of god mode.
Uh, sir, why didn't you just, you know, like wear 'em? Shut up.
I've waited for your return so that you and my Holly could complete the power of five.
But now that Holly's gone I get to be number five! Oh, God! No, I do.
Ah! My hands! No! Anyone but you! Come on, guys! I'm ready for this.
I'm done with all that kid stuff.
I promise I'll be good.
Oh, just put on the bloody ring.
Yes! This outfit is so comfortable! And now I'm speaking English again! Spandex? So last year.
Why am I in a pink one? Huh? Danger guns.
Danger 5.
Ready.
Set! Fire! Yeah! Heil Hitler! I love god mode! Yeah! Eat 'em up, boys.
Yeah! Sweet! Health! Oh, no! I'm out.
A secret area! McKenzie! I'll get so many points.
Whoa! Danger damage.
Tucker.
Claire! Is that you? I've come back for more kisses.
I pashed Hitler.
Nooo! Nooo! Take back your Hitler plasm! Danger 5, assemble Danger Cannon! Danger Box, play.
Danger 2x4.
Danger Meal.
Yeah! Danger Head.
Danger ready! Danger Cannon! Danger Cannon, fire! Be quiet, you avocado.
Aw, suck a stiffy, Hitler.
Yeah! You know what? I think we could all do with a good round of stiffies! Way ahead of you, my friend.
Yeah, right! Take it.
I got this for you, Pierre.
They're yellow New from Tamico! It's the Super Tamicon game kit with Adolf Hitler's Wheel 'N' Shoot.
Whoa! Ich bin Wheel 'N' Shoot.
Cowabunga! Whoa! Super realistic 3-D graphics! Isn't Australia lovely, Tucker? Get away from me.
They won't leave me alone, Claire.
Try giving them some food.
No.
Um .
.
they'll nibble at my hand.
I'll give them some bread.
No! That's the good bread.
Stop laughing at me.
It's not funny.
Dammit, Cindy! I'm not made of money! To the future! Hitler Hat? Hitler Hat?! Where is it, kransky man? Mozzarella, mozzarella.
Found it! Make that time travel cocktail, Pierre, and get us out of this godforsaken Nazi universe.
It's our only hope for survival.
It's vegan mozzarella.
Where's the real stuff? Noooo! The cheese is no good, my friends.
I think we're stuck in this alternate timeline.
Oh, God! Christ, God! No! Alright! Fortune cookie.
Well, that's pretty negative.
Holly! Holly! That voice.
Hitler.
He's invincible! Run, my friends! I'll save you! Nooo! Nooooooo! No, no, no.
Don't don't shoot her.
We surrender, man.
Are you are you serious?! No! No! No! No! Nooo! Arrgh! Oh! The darkness! The Hindus were right.
The afterlife is eternal darkness.
Tucker, relax.
We're alive.
Jackson! Is that you? Oh! What the f? Hey, Hitler, you son of a bitch, what's with this shit? I can't move my arms.
Shit.
Oh, God.
Pierre's gone Nazi.
Oh, what have they done to his beautiful voice? Is Claire alive? Claire? Where are you? Claire? Claire is gone! Get over it, man.
First Holly comes back to life, then Hitler, then we all come back to life, but Claire's still dead? Oh, just kill us, Hitler, you pomegranate.
What the hell is a pomegranate? Wait! Wait! Where you going, Dickler? Hitler's getting away! I'll stop him.
Ooh! I can't understand you, Pierre, but I think we need to finish this operation or Holly's gonna die for real.
Luckily these size 12s saved lives in Pyongyang.
My lives.
Here we go.
Ahh! Argh! It's alright.
I've got this under control.
What's that? Hmm? My German's a little rusty, but I think he wants me to find the end of this sticky tape.
Ilsa.
You shot me in my own head.
I said you shot me in my own head, you heartless thing.
Oh! Got it! It had ripped down the middle.
You know? I have a bionic arm? I wish I had a bionic arm.
I wish I had a bionic Claire.
Get her! Get her! Get her! Huh? Up yours! We're chasing Holly? Well, this fun run just turned into an un-fun run.
Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Ohh! Someone get me home! Oh, my God.
He's everywhere.
Ohh! Leave me alone, Knitler! Let me go! Oh, dammit.
I can't get away from you bunch of Oh, shut up, you noisy brat! Ugh! Hey! Who do you think you are, hmm? I'm you.
Mmm.
That's a sweet push-up.
Will somebody please tell me what is going on? Alright.
But you'd better listen because I'm only saying this once.
Right.
Listening hats, everybody.
After the fall of Dog Mountain in World War II, Hitler survived, charged with Holly's invincibility power and became Boss Hitler.
Meanwhile, The Colonel swallowed an embryo while digging for worms.
That embryo was me.
Boss Hitler won the war and cast the Allied nations into space.
And The Colonel took exile in Danger Manor where he hatched me, raised me and trained me to become the ultimate Danger warrior.
Danger 1.
So what do you mean The Colonel swallowed you at Dog Mountain? I'm a Nazi test tube baby.
Here.
Look at my birthmark.
This whole time we've been protecting a Nazi super child? Holly, show me your neck.
Oh, no way, Jose! Dammit, show me your neck! Oh, fine! But I don't have a birthmar Oh, yeah.
That.
It's alright, Ilsa.
I'm taking notes.
Boss Hitler is too powerful for me to destroy alone.
The Colonel is convinced you four hold the key to his demise.
Colonel? I fail to see how.
We're going to see The Colonel again! A reunion! But Claire won't be here.
She always brings the fizzy Oh! Oh! Is it good? Well, that's flat.
Hey! Get down! She's a bomb! II can't understand you, Pierre! She is a bomb! Just get down! She's a bomb! You shut up! You just couldn't deal with the fact that she was better than you, could you? She was Max Level Holly.
You're No Level Holly.
I didn't do anything! Dammit, Pierre! Speak American! Oh, what a shemozzle.
Max Level! Hey, guys! Look out! See this? You're this.
Oh, God! Tucker, shoot them! Shoot who? I got it! Damn arm! Not the space! Gosh, it's gusty in here.
I don't know what's real anymore.
They're pumping me full of H.
H for Hitler! Hitler? That's me! Welcome to Hitler's Haus.
That's me! Kill him dead, Pierre! What did I do to deserve this? Shit, man! Where the hell are we? A bionic arm is not an accessory, Holly.
It's a responsibility.
Now stop being a silly billy and start acting your age.
I didn't do anything! It wasn't my fault.
It was the arm.
Where are we? Smells like potpourri.
We three warriors of the USSR are at your service, my queen.
But first, we feast! Damn you, sweet corn! They should call you 'slippery corn'.
Claire loved corn.
What I wouldn't give to share one last cob.
Tucker.
Claire? Is that is that you? I've come to tell you something before I go forever.
To tell me that you love me? Oh.
How I've longed to hear you No.
I've come to warn you.
The Russian warriors are working for the Nazis.
A trap.
Better kill everyone, then.
Thanks, honey.
Goodbye, Tucker.
I'll save you for later, Claire plasm.
What's wrong, Starfish? I've been through a lot of crap because of these bozos.
My prom date to tried to kidnap me, I got bit by a dinosaur.
Hell, I was even Princess of Russia for, like, five minutes.
You'd think by now they would Treat you like grown-up? Exactly! You know what grown-ups do? They drink wine together.
Oh.
You're cool, Pelican.
Call me Greg.
Tastes like sleep, yes? Oh, man.
That guy's a total nut job.
Quickly, Holly.
We must fly.
Climb onto my back.
Yeah! I can smell you, Herring! There.
All safe again.
Who wants a shower? I can't freaking understand you, man.
I think I'm losing it! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! No! Where? Oooh! What did I do to deserve this? My god.
He's a cyborg! Oh, look! A belt of space bread! Now all we need is space soup! This is so cool! Yeah! We're going down! Ah! Space pelican for tea.
Again.
Too many feathers.
Argh! Holly! You've returned, disguised as a pelican to fool the Nazis.
You shot me out of the sky, bonehead.
Got any soda? No.
You're the other one.
What happened to the others? The other Holly is dead.
I'm pretty sure Hitler's got the rest.
Hurry up with that soda.
Space made me real thirsty.
My Holly is dead? How? Oh, no.
It's happening again.
Must I do everything myself? Ew! Gross! Get your hands off my lamp and climb into this carcass! Move! Move! That's Hitler! Holy Shut up! Shut up! Uh, yes! Go.
Go, go! Who's hungry for broccoli burgers? No! Make the laughter stop! What did I You're off the air, Sitcom Hitler.
Oh, Colonel! Just shut up and listen.
Oh, Colonel Chestbridge.
It's so good to hear your I said shut up.
I've come to give you these five rings charged with the power of god mode.
Uh, sir, why didn't you just, you know, like wear 'em? Shut up.
I've waited for your return so that you and my Holly could complete the power of five.
But now that Holly's gone I get to be number five! Oh, God! No, I do.
Ah! My hands! No! Anyone but you! Come on, guys! I'm ready for this.
I'm done with all that kid stuff.
I promise I'll be good.
Oh, just put on the bloody ring.
Yes! This outfit is so comfortable! And now I'm speaking English again! Spandex? So last year.
Why am I in a pink one? Huh? Danger guns.
Danger 5.
Ready.
Set! Fire! Yeah! Heil Hitler! I love god mode! Yeah! Eat 'em up, boys.
Yeah! Sweet! Health! Oh, no! I'm out.
A secret area! McKenzie! I'll get so many points.
Whoa! Danger damage.
Tucker.
Claire! Is that you? I've come back for more kisses.
I pashed Hitler.
Nooo! Nooo! Take back your Hitler plasm! Danger 5, assemble Danger Cannon! Danger Box, play.
Danger 2x4.
Danger Meal.
Yeah! Danger Head.
Danger ready! Danger Cannon! Danger Cannon, fire! Be quiet, you avocado.
Aw, suck a stiffy, Hitler.
Yeah! You know what? I think we could all do with a good round of stiffies! Way ahead of you, my friend.
Yeah, right! Take it.
I got this for you, Pierre.
They're yellow New from Tamico! It's the Super Tamicon game kit with Adolf Hitler's Wheel 'N' Shoot.
Whoa! Ich bin Wheel 'N' Shoot.
Cowabunga! Whoa! Super realistic 3-D graphics! Isn't Australia lovely, Tucker? Get away from me.
They won't leave me alone, Claire.
Try giving them some food.
No.
Um .
.
they'll nibble at my hand.
I'll give them some bread.
No! That's the good bread.
Stop laughing at me.
It's not funny.