Daria s01e00 Episode Script

Sealed with a Kick

Hey, Kevin? Can I borrow your pencil? Sure.
Hey, Daria, wait up.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, Kevin.
I know what you're after, but it won't work.
I don't want the pencil.
I just forgot to give it back.
Let's not play games, Daria.
You desire me, don't you? Uh, excuse me? I can tell.
It's like a fifth sense I got.
But unfortunately or whatever, I already got a chick.
But we can still be friends or whatever.
Thanks, Kevin.
That helps.
Great! Can I borrow your science homework? Hey, thanks a lot.
Sorry if you were hurt.
I just got blown off by a guy I didn't even go after.
You should find a safe, legal alternative to killing him.
I already have.
When I get through with him, there'll be nothing left but jelly.
Well, you won't have to do anything to his brain.
Nothing left but jelly I baked these cookies for you! They're shaped like hearts! Uh but You don't have to use words around me, Kevin.
You don't need them.
This is just to say, "No hard feelings.
" Bye! And then Scully, he grabs the kid and gives him a tenth degree wedgie.
He's funny.
Hi, Kevin! Uh, hi, Daria.
Who's she? I'm Kevin's good friend.
Which do you like better, the beach or the mountains? Uh I guess the beach.
Because of, like, the bikinis.
Me, too.
Just checking.
Oh, and here's some extra homework of mine you can use.
See you later friend.
Oooh! Manipulator! Pinhead! Weasel! Hey, hey, slow down! What was the first one you said? Really Hey, Daria! Me and Brittany decided to see other people! So, since you're sorta next on the list or whatever Mmm, I don't think so, Kevin.
It might ruin our friendship.
Hey, it's cool.
We're good friends.
Quinn, there were four calls on the machine from Kevin.
Doesn't he have your beeper number? They aren't for me.
They're for Daria.
Daria? Do you need a beeper, Daria? Do you want to talk to us about anything, honey? I was just about to open up, too.
You think she meant it? I'm not giving up, Daria.
I know there's a chemistry or whatever.
I hate to say this, Kevin Kevin? Quinn? What are you doing here? I live here.
You're not here to see my sister, are you? Whoa! You're sisters with a brain? I know! Doesn't it suck? Really.
Well, you want to go for a ride or something? Let me get my stuff.
So anyways, you're probably right about us being friends and stuff, because we care about each others feelings and whatnot.
Yeah, and I care even more about your feelings than my own.
Really? Man, I never would have thought you'd be sisters with someone hot.
I don't understand why you're not trying to get revenge.
I'm letting Quinn take care of that.
Dammit! How many times is that thing gonna go off? I'm beginning to think you don't like being with someone attractive and popular Sorry! That's better.
Now, get me to a pay phone.