Dawn of the Croods (2015) s02e10 Episode Script

Croodtopia; Hands on a Hard Egg

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [music playing.]
Lava rock.
River rock.
- Baby rock? - [groans.]
Kids, we told you, no eating rocks.
They'll spoil your dinner.
Not eating.
Licking! No licking stuff, period.
There's a case of "sneezles" going around, and we don't want you getting sick.
You guys never let us do anything fun.
No staying up after moonrise, no playing egg toss inside, no throwing rocks at Thunk.
Yeah! And no throwing rocks at me.
Trust us, Eep.
The sneezles are not fun.
They're even worse than the "coughles.
" He's right.
Your nose leaks out, then your stomach does somersaults, then your boogers turn purple.
[sneezing.]
- [gasping.]
- [giggling.]
Oh, and they're very contagious.
Until we're feeling better, the only thing for you kids to do is Put you out of your misery? I won't do it! Well, I guess I could try.
Whoa! No! No.
I want you to take care of each other, especially Sandy.
[playful grunting.]
And if we don't make it, tell everyone I outlived Grug.
- Oh - She's gonna blow! [screaming.]
[giggling.]
Wow! [chuckles.]
Thunk, it's like we have the whole world all to our - Hey, buddy! - [screams.]
Lerk, you scared me.
More than usual.
Yeah, I've been practicing my quiet walk for that exact reason.
You guys avoided the "sneezles", too? Yep.
I couldn't get them if I tried.
Seriously.
Sneeze into my mouth.
Aah - [gasping.]
- Ew! - Womp, no.
- [giggles.]
See? - [giggling.]
- [gasping.]
[giggling.]
Sandy, no.
Mom and Dad say no jumping on strange animals.
But Mom and Dad are off puking their guts out.
[laughs.]
No grownups means we can do whatever we want.
Go for it, Sandy.
- [giggling.]
- Yeah.
Without them, the only person in charge of you is is you! It's a you-topia! Let's live it up! [laughing.]
Let's live it up somewhere else.
[screams.]
[exhales.]
I've always wanted to do this.
Off the high cliff! Belly flop! Whoo! [cheering.]
Eh.
I've seen floppier.
- [laughing.]
- [cheering.]
[Eep.]
Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Oh, animal fights are great! I wonder why Mom never lets us watch this stuff.
- [grunting.]
- [grunts.]
I submit, I submit! Oh, please.
Animal fights are so fake.
- [growling.]
- [whimpering.]
[stomach growling.]
Hm.
Sounds like we're all hungry.
Sorry.
Once this little guy gets goin', he's hard to stop.
- [growling.]
- Shh You'll eat soon, Sandy.
Hey, bonking rocks ready? Wait.
You wanna hunt that guy? I thought we were just gonna pet him.
What? No.
We can do whatever we want, and I wanna bonk some prey.
Ah! But that means we can also not do what we don't not want not to do.
Not.
What I'm saying is I'm not in the mood for mosquitoad.
How about spikeapples? Anyone? Let's all be honest.
I'm not so much a hunter as a "hunted.
" Fine.
You do what you want, I'll do what I want, and Sandy, do what Sandy wants.
- [stomach growls.]
- [growling.]
[squawking.]
Spikeapples.
The forbidden fruit.
Forbidden 'cause my parents think I'll spike my eye out.
That fruit looks angry.
[grunting.]
Now to pick it very carefully.
[straining.]
Ow.
[yelping.]
Hey, I picked three already! What's the plan? Tickle torture? My ticklers are ready.
Uh, I just thought we'd throw these rocks at it.
[gasps.]
Brilliant.
Then we tickle.
Ha! [grunting.]
There.
I got 'em all.
Look out.
Dinner coming through! [grunting, screaming.]
[groaning.]
[gasps.]
[groans.]
Why were you messing with spikeapples? The whole point of the spikes is so you won't touch them.
Me? You nearly bonked me to death.
Didn't Mom and Dad teach you anything about hunting rock safety? Didn't Mom and Dad teach you anything about doing what I say? No way.
I'm in charge of me.
You be in charge of you.
[growling.]
Fine.
Then from now on, you can be in charge of you on that side.
This is my side.
You stay out of it.
Happy to.
My side's got more sunshine.
Well, my side's got better clouds.
- My side's got Womp.
- Yay! - My side doesn't.
- Also good.
[growling.]
Forget them, Womp, because in our we-topia, everyone will be our friend.
Picture it.
[laughing.]
[roaring.]
Cuddly-wuddlies as far as the eye can see.
Cute! [chuckles.]
Just wait, Lerk.
They'll come crawling back because in our us-topia, we'll live like queens.
Uh, a little to the left.
[all.]
Yes, Queen Eep.
Ow! Eep, this guy is not cute.
No offense.
- [screeching.]
- [screaming.]
I guess molar bears aren't into the cuddly-wuddlies.
- [screaming.]
- [shrieking.]
[squawking.]
Nothing to see here.
Just another amazing day in Thunk-topia.
Please, things are way better over here in Eep-topia.
- [panting.]
- [growling.]
[screaming.]
See? My-topia has bigger predators.
Oh, who just moved into my-topia? Well, one of these topias better get some food quick.
I am so hungry, I could eat an entire [gasps.]
chikuna! [squawking.]
[gasping.]
Uh, whose side is it on? Mine! Winner, winner, chikuna dinner.
- Uh - Ha! Mine now.
Loser, loser, chikuna uh, dinner.
Uh [squawking.]
- Make up your mind! - Pick a side! - [straining.]
- [grunting.]
I can't do this.
I'm too hungry.
Ooh, dirt! Want some? Ew, dirt tastes like butt and yes, I do want some.
[grunting.]
Let go! I'm stronger than five of you.
Ha! Five of me is not very strong.
- [grunts.]
- [grunts.]
- [squawking.]
- [straining.]
Did it explode? [panting.]
Sandy! - [gasps.]
- [groans.]
Sandy? Sandy! Wanna come down here on the ground where it's nice and flat and you won't fall to your death? [grunts.]
[blows raspberry.]
[groaning.]
We should've never told her to do whatever she wants.
She's just a baby.
Of course she wants to do something crazy and dangerous.
Yeah.
She can't be trusted like us.
[screaming.]
Okay, maybe this is our fault.
How are we gonna get up there? The tree is so tall and I'm so stubby.
[growling.]
- [screams.]
- [gasps.]
I have an idea.
It's what Mom and Dad would want us to do.
Change into clean underpelts? Work together.
[grunting.]
Okay.
[grunting.]
- [straining.]
- Whoa.
[screaming.]
[yelps.]
Sandy.
[burps.]
You're okay.
I guess two Croods are better than one, huh, Eep? [gasps.]
But three Croods might be too many.
- [screaming.]
- [groans.]
- [groans.]
- [yells.]
[sighs.]
Good branch.
- [yelps.]
- [groans.]
[gagging.]
Ugh, what a day.
The sneezes, the puking, the snooking.
If I never see another booger again, it'll be too soon.
And you know I love boogers.
[gasps.]
Eep, Thunk! What happened? [moans.]
Oh, you kids look awful.
Did you get the sneezles? I told you not to go around licking things, Thunk.
We're not sick.
Just sick of doing whatever we want.
We miss having you tell us what to do.
Please tell us what to do.
Huh? Uh, well, in that case, go inside and get your pajama pelt on for bed.
- Okay! - Whatever you say, Dad.
Wow.
Okay, we must've reached the part of the sneezles where we hallucinate.
Definitely.
[snoring.]
[sneezing.]
[music playing.]
Food, food, food, food! Here ya go, Croods.
Eat up! [growling.]
Food, food, food! I know, I know.
We've eaten a lot of sticks lately.
But it's this awful food shortage.
Everyone is struggling.
Tree, I'm warning you.
Grow fruit now or so help me [wind blowing.]
Oh, the silent treatment, huh? [chuckles.]
Why, you [pants.]
[grunts.]
[moans.]
Plenty more where that came from.
[groans.]
Gee, Dad, [scoffs.]
with prey so scarce, I bet you hunters need extra help.
No, Eep, you're not ready.
You're still just a kid.
- Please? - No! Please! No! [wailing.]
Please! I said no! Stop dragging this out.
[grunts.]
But I am a natural hunter.
My class voted me most likely to mangle.
[straining.]
I know, but there's more to my job than mangling.
- [grunting.]
- It's hot, it's boring, you have to laugh at your boss' jokes.
[straining.]
And when it gets tough, a hunter's gotta be grown up enough to hold on.
But I am grown up enough to hold on.
Love our talks.
Bye! [grunts.]
[groans.]
[gasps.]
Food! - Food! - Food! Food! Why is everyone yelling "food"? Oh, 'cause there is food.
[panting.]
[yelling.]
[all.]
Mine! [all.]
Not yours! Mine! [all.]
Stop that! I'm a poop head.
Ah Oh [chuckles.]
I thought if I said that, I could get the rest of you to say it.
That's embarrassing.
[gnawing.]
[sighs.]
Mom, do I have to help feed Sandy? It's always such a big mess.
[growling, laughing.]
Aah! We gotta make sure she eats, Thunk.
After all, she's just a helpless baby.
Now pin her down! [yelling.]
[panting.]
I know you hate sticks, sweetie, but it's for your own good.
[straining.]
Whoa! - [grunting.]
- Wow! What's that girl been eating? Oh, yeah.
Nothing.
- I saw it first! - I am the toucher.
- You were standing over there - I just enjoy the camaraderie! Enough! No one can prove who touched the egg first, so let's just say whoever's touching it last takes it home.
[all.]
Agreed! - Agreed.
- Go home, Eep.
This contest is about to get really tough.
Exactly.
So when I'm the last Crood standing, you'll see that I'm grown up enough to hunt.
Victory pose.
[gasping.]
[grunts.]
Ah! There.
Victory pose! Pelt yourself.
Don't say I didn't warn you when things heat up.
[screams.]
Oh! Ah! [wailing.]
[blows.]
[blows.]
[shivering.]
[moaning.]
I didn't think he'd really do it.
[moaning.]
Sweet relief.
[sighs.]
One down.
[giggle.]
Three to go.
And one, two, three, four toes I can still feel.
[chuckles.]
[shivers.]
Ooh, yeah, that's it.
I keep all my tension in my shoulders.
[chuckles.]
Oh, yeah.
[growling.]
[shivering.]
[moaning.]
No egg is worth this.
I'm walking away while I still have my dignity.
[chuckles.]
[gasps, screams.]
[shrieking.]
And what about you, Eep? - Ready to quit? - No.
I just need something to take my mind off the pain, like, like [gasps.]
other pain.
[grunting.]
[babbling.]
It worked.
[laugh.]
I can't even feel my legs anymore.
[chuckles.]
[sighs.]
Hey, Sandy, sorry we tried to make you eat sticks before.
Instead, how about a bite of delicious ramu? [clucking.]
See? Thanks to pretending, she sees the stick as a big, juicy bird.
[clucking.]
Check that.
She sees me as a big, juicy bird.
[screaming.]
What? [gasps.]
Everyone's gone? [giggling.]
Oh, they quit, they quit, they quit! Oh, did they? [screams.]
Watch what you eat, Eep, or it might just eat you.
[laughs.]
[screams.]
There's only one way out of this.
[grunting.]
Eep, Eep, wake up, Eep.
- Eep! - What? What? What happened? Oh, nothing.
Just that you lost your mind and tried to eat your arm! Come on, this has gone too far.
Now go home.
[sighs.]
You're right, Dad.
Please! I I am? I wasn't ready for that.
Well, don't feel bad, sweetie.
No, no, I I tried my best and I guess I'm just not good enough.
[sniffling, sobbing.]
Oh, honey.
- Come here.
- Boom! You're out! [laughing.]
What? You tricked me! Eep, you've put us all at risk.
I was trying to win food for the whole family.
Relax, Dad.
With you out, nothing can stand between me and victory.
[clapping.]
Well done, girl from my class.
But aren't you overlooking me? [blows raspberry.]
You? After all the torture I've been through, what can you do? Ah, you've forgotten.
I'm a master of torture.
I'm a teacher.
Now, class, gather round for my very long-winded lesson on the history of dirt.
[shrieking.]
- [yelping.]
- [snarling.]
[yelling.]
- [grunting.]
- [snarling.]
So this is how it ends.
[growling.]
Mm? [panting.]
Huh? [giggling.]
[gasps.]
She likes them.
She really likes them.
Uh-oh, I think she's jammed.
And when you add water to dirt, an exciting change happens making - [sighing.]
- Thoughts, ideas? [moaning.]
Wrong! The answer is wet dirt.
[chuckling.]
Which brings us to the end of my introduction.
Moving on - You can do it, Eep.
- No, Dad.
I gotta quit.
I'm really not tough enough to take this guy.
Honey, you are tough.
You're a Crood.
All Croods are tough.
- Even Thunk? - Of course not Thunk.
Look, I didn't think you were grown up enough for this, but you showed a lot of heart today.
You even outlasted me.
So I admit, I was wrong.
Aw, Dad.
Now how about you go crush this windbag? So you may be asking, what is the difference between rocky dirt and dirty rocks? Well, I [grunting.]
Let's find out which of us has what it takes to hold on.
[screaming.]
Okay, careful! Careful! Careful! Whoa! [yelling.]
Oh, dear.
Are you insane? - Stop this now.
- You stop it.
- Just let go.
- Never! Pelt yourself.
[screaming.]
- [grunting.]
- Oh, no! Whoa! [screaming.]
Oh, no, not there! - [panting.]
- [screaming.]
No! Don't! [screaming.]
[girelephant trumpeting.]
[moaning.]
[yelling.]
Okay, I'll let go.
Just make it stop.
You want me to make us stop falling? You're saying you can't? [screams.]
I'm alive! And the egg is all mine.
Ha! Um, pretty sure it's mine.
[girelephant moaning.]
[groaning.]
[all.]
Food, food, food, food, food! Here you go, Croods.
Eat up.
Great job on the egg, Eep.
So what do you say? Hunt with me tomorrow? [gasps.]
Thanks, Dad, but there's absolutely no way.
[snoring.]
Sandy, come eat some egg.
Oh, no, honey, it's okay.
- You don't have to eat sticks anymore.
- Mm? [growling.]
Wait, Sandy, no! [screaming.]
Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh Ba-dum-dum ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum ba-dum
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