Dawn of the Croods (2015) s03e02 Episode Script

Deux Ex Monkhuahua ; Slak Attack

Who's the cutest carnivore in the cave? Is it you? Oh, her feeding frenzies are so adorable.
I have to get a picture.
Hey, Mom, you think maybe we're overdoing it with the baby pictures lately? No.
Each one of these is important, Eep.
After all, someday we might want to remember that time when Sandy stared at nothing.
Well, how do I look? Whoa! Ooga booga la la! Alpha male coming through.
Nice power carcass, Dad.
Thanks.
I want to look dominant for my first full day as Valley leader.
And what says that better than "I wear more dead animals than you"? Ha.
What's gonna be your first act as leader? Close school, close school, close school No, I'm heading up the clean-up from the Broods' attack.
Yeah, all their trash attracted their pesky monkhuahuas.
Hey! Hey! Too slow.
Ow, my weak spot.
Oh, my weak spot! Wow, sounds like a big job.
You sure you're ready for all that, sweetie? Of course.
All a good leader does is tell people what to do, and then they do it like, uh Hey, Gran, take a bath today.
Bad example.
Shoo, shoo! Valleyites, these punkhuahuas aren't going to quit eating trash here until we clean it up.
So after a lot of thought, I've decided we'll start by picking up the, uh big stuff, then work down to the less big stuff.
- All right.
All right.
- Less big stuff sounds good.
I'm hearing it.
Ooh, ooh, Grug, Grug, okay, are you sure this is the best way? What if we worked Wait for it Backsies to frontsies? Yeah, or bottom to top.
I got it.
I think we should split the work based on our strengths.
Like, you're good at cleaning and I'm good at sitting in shade, so Whoa, whoa, guys.
We'll never finish this job if you get distracted by your own thoughts.
So just do what I, the leader said, okay? But how do we not think of solutions when we're staring at the problem? Snoot's right.
Looking at this mess, an independent thinker like myself can't help but Crud's right.
An independent thinker like myself can't help but Any more questions? No? Then everybody to work.
Hey.
Hmm? Ah! Oh, good.
You two met.
Sandy, say hi to the newest and third-hairiest member of our family.
Newest member? Thunk, is that a monkhuahua? Yeah.
Can he live with us, Mom? He's really nice, and I already gave him a name.
Not Food.
So you-know-who doesn't forget.
We got to take away Gran's rock stash.
Sorry, Thunk, but we just can't take in a wild animal.
He's just too adorable! Oh, goochy goo.
Here, Not Food.
What a cave wall moment.
We don't need all these.
Oh, it's like his little nose just said I wuv you.
What has gotten into you, young lady? Disgusting! Sandy, ew! New leader plan.
Instead of getting distracted by your own silly ideas, you guys will follow me blindly.
Whoa.
Flawless plan, pal.
- That's a bush, Munk.
- Yep! Now this only works if you stay blindfolded, so never take them off for any reason.
- Oh, no, bear owl! - Where? Relax, I was testing you.
So keep them on this time and do exactly what I say.
Okay, now, walk to the tree.
Or walk to my voice.
Now stop, stop.
Now bend and grab.
- Bend forward, Munk.
- Way ahead of you, buddy.
Now take it away.
And repeat.
Faster.
Faster! Ha! What'd I tell you guys? See how great we're doing? Can't see a thing, Grug.
Oh, right.
Yeah, well, just get excited.
I can get excited on cue.
Excited, Munk, not crazy.
Mom, could we build Not Food a comfy little nest to sleep in? Sorry, we have more important things to do.
Like making him little pelts to model for us.
Shh! Not Food, is that you? Oh, no.
Where'd he go? Uh He he ran away? Mom, come quick! Sandy's mouth grew an arm.
Not Food is not food, young lady.
Go to your shame corner.
You okay, fella? Sorry about Sandy.
Oh, he's like a little baby.
And scrub and move.
And spit and scrub.
And move.
And spit and scrub.
And move.
And spit and scrub.
And move.
And spit and scrub.
- And move.
- It's kind of fun.
Wow.
I could eat off that ground.
Which I do anyway, but this is so gleamy.
Now that's what I call great leadering, huh? Uh, put up your hand.
Oh! High five, high five, high five, high five, high five.
Butt slap, butt slap, butt slap Huh.
They seem mad we cleaned away their food.
Or their body language is nothing like ours and they're gonna give us treats.
Boy, it's a tough call.
Ah, the monkhuahuas are attacking! Nice try, Grug, but we know you're just testing to see if we'll remove our blindfolds again, you big silly billy.
Ha! What? No! This is Okay, whatever.
Just kick, punch No, Teena, kick that one's shins.
Oh, forget it.
Follow me.
Sandy! Sandy, where are you? Oh, no, she must've run away because we big people didn't give her enough attention.
Good thing we have Not Food as our new baby.
Yep, Sandy doesn't matter anymore.
Not Food is the chosen one.
Sandy! Sandy! Where are you? Sandy, please.
We're worried sick about you.
Seriously.
I've already barfed twice.
Guys, you've gotta take off the blindfolds.
I was wrong to make you follow me blindly.
It was a terrible, terrible mistake made by a truly great leader.
- Now please! - Ah! My blindfold! Oh, wait.
Hey, where did all these monkhuahuas come from? Never mind that.
Just fight back.
Now start with the biggest ones and Oh, actually, just do it however you want to.
I'll start at the backsies, and work to the frontsies.
And I'll go bottom to top.
And do not worry about this area.
I've got it covered.
Ooh.
Way to go, guys.
Now charge! Death to monkhuahuas! Ah! Oh, you're too cute to smash.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
That settles it.
From now on, no more following me blindly.
I want to hear what everyone thinks.
So we'll have things where we can meet.
We'll call them meet things.
- I do like talking.
- Love it! 'Cause after all, everyone has good ideas.
Well, almost everyone.
Ow! Gran! Have you been here the whole time waiting for a chance to hit me? Ooh! Look here, guys.
Cute overload.
Oh, the two of them together.
We are gonna need so many pictures, we'll have to start a new wall.
Aah! Now show us a smile, you two.
Class, today I want to share with you the secret to living forever.
Ah, scratch that.
Stomach wants food.
Bring me chickuna, crunchy bugs, jackrobat.
You know what? Why don't you just take out a whole link of the food chain? Just once, I'd like him to finish that lesson.
Hey, kids, I'll be home late tonight.
You're gonna have to help out your mom around the cave.
But, Dad, we already have school, and babysitting, and baby catching when Baby Sandy escapes.
Uh-huh, that's good.
Sorry, but you know, now that I'm Valley leader, I gotta settle all the hunting disputes, so Amber say split toad among all hunters.
Well, I say it's eating me, so it's all mine.
Uh-oh.
Serves you right! I hate when disputes turn ugly.
Work hard for your mom, kids.
We almost have everything on teacher's list.
Jackrobat, pig rat, jumbo pig rat, my hand.
How did that get in here? Just need that bug and we're done.
Ugh! It stinks having so much stuff to do.
And not even fun stuff.
I know.
I'm so busy, what with my private not dying lessons after this.
Now, you find this strange, possibly dangerous fruit.
What do you do? Oh.
More blood on my hands.
Yeah, and I've got my afterschool job helping Womp with his not dying lessons.
You know who's got it all figured out? Slaks.
Wow, what I wouldn't give just to sit around all day in my own filth.
I know! Let's slak, and relax all day, instead of doing this dumb assignment.
Thunk, we have to do what the teacher says.
We can't just not.
Right? Only one way to find out.
Let's goo this.
All right, let me get this straight.
Instead of doing the assignment, you gave up and spent the afternoon doing nothing?! - That nothing was really something.
- Yeah, it was incredible.
But you children never willfully disappoint me.
You always at least try and then fail.
My stomach is very disappointed in you.
Go to Deep Trouble.
Eep, wait.
What would a slak do? Or rather, what would it not do? Anything.
You're not going? But, but, but no one defies my stomach! Oh, baby.
Oh, baby, Daddy knows you're hungry.
Daddy knows you're so very hungry, but just don't take it out on Daddy.
Please don't.
Don't! Don't take it out Oh, no! No! Wow! Slakking got us out of schoolwork and trouble.
It's like magic.
You've gotta, like, show us how you did that.
Sure.
The way of the slak is a gift to us all.
It solves everything.
Have boring chores to do? The slak teaches us, don't do them.
Stressful afterschool activities? Like, yawn.
Don't do 'em.
Tired? Instead of walking, you guessed it.
Take that, legs.
Sweet drool, Thunk.
Thanks.
Look.
I can make it dance.
Hey.
Aren't you two supposed to be helping me gather swatty sticks? We were gonna, but then we had a better idea, which, as you see, we're doing now.
Eep, tell her.
Guys, it's mosquitoad season.
We need those sticks to keep 'em from dragging us Ah! See that? Yeah.
If you want me to see something, I'm gonna need you to hold open my eyelids.
Enough slakking.
Get to work.
Whoa! - I can't get them to do anything! - Enough! Hear me, hear me.
Can you all hear me? Well, this meet thing is called to order.
So there have been some complaints about kids acting up lately? It's awful.
They've stopped listening, they've stopped doing anything.
Look what's become of my son.
Still pretty bad.
Amber have idea.
Put buzztles down pelts.
That get Amber moving in morning.
Here, watch.
Ow! Ow! Huh? I'll handle this the way we handle every time our kids act up.
Tell 'em to stop 'cause we say so.
Oh, and if that doesn't work, we add, "Or else!" I don't know, Grug.
This is like no misbehaving I've ever seen before.
Please.
They're acting like that? Ooh, I'm quaking in my pelts.
So, any more slakking tips? I can try.
Actually, I don't feel like trying.
Never did like trying.
Okay, time to get your butts back to work.
There's homework, food to gather, mosquitoads to swat.
Come on, I'm serious.
Get up.
'Cause I say so.
Okay, you guys are making me do this.
Or else! What? That's never not worked before.
Okay, um Eww! You covered yourselves in goo? I like to think the goo covered itself in us.
A-ha! Come on, think, Grug.
The answer's in your head somewhere.
Just gotta knock it out! Is that it? Nope, just a bug.
You seem stressed, Dad.
Of course I'm stressed.
On top of hunting and the family, now I'm Valley leader.
Everyone's counting on me, and all this extra thinking I've been doing takes a real toll on my head.
We know how you feel.
Grug? Grug, honey.
Oh, yeah.
You were supposed to stop them, not join them.
Some leader.
Boo, Grug.
Hey, I was skeptical, too.
And I admit, being lazy didn't come to me naturally.
But once I got into it, I realized I have wasted every moment of my life up to this point by not wasting it.
Trust me, this is how we should all live.
What's for dinner? Well, no one hunted or gathered, so it's dirt again.
Mm.
Hey, uh, someone, grab a thing to thing the things.
Hmm.
Guess we didn't gather any sticks.
Eh, we'll be fine.
Ugga? Hang on, I'll Hey, I was doing nothing there.
Oh, no.
We gotta save them.
Yeah! Uh How do you run again? Uh, I wanna say legs.
Legs! Yes.
We're stuck.
Who knew covering ourselves with purple goo could have a downside? I know.
We'll use our arms.
They're all weak from not being used enough.
Yeah.
Also, mine were pretty weak to begin with.
You know, I'm starting to think that all this slakking wasn't a great idea.
Yeah.
Or rather, it was a great idea with a bad part that we didn't think of.
We did it! Now, let's move.
How'd you get clean? I hate you, you dumb goo.
I didn't mean it.
Let me go! Hey.
You guys want to help us out? Let us go, you flyin' sacks of ugly.
What are you doin'? They're getting revenge for moons of being swatted.
Ha ha! Missed me.
Missed again.
My head! My mildly attractive head! Hey! Hungry, are you? Why settle for gross humans when you can have a slak snack? Goo la la, each one comes with its own special dipping sauce.
Uh-oh.
Ha ha! Take that, you dumb Ha! Nice try, you stupid bog.
Ah! Learn to survive gracefully, Dad.
So much for our slakking paradise.
Yeah, I won't do nothing ever again.
I'm gonna start doing something right now.
Uh Well, as leader, I say we compromise.
Every five days, there shall be one, no, two days for just slakking.
Any more and we'd again become too weakened.
And to remind us of that, we'll even call these two days "the weakened.
" What do you say?
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