Dawn of the Croods (2015) s03e05 Episode Script

To Squawk with Love ; Lerk Was the Night

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [music playing.]
He's stomping this way.
[sighs.]
I hope Teacher Squawk likes our assignments.
He’s been in such a lousy mood lately.
I hope he doesn’t send us to Deep Trouble again.
The first five days were cool, but the last three days started to feel like punishment.
Relax.
We’ve just gotta get things started on the right foot today.
Fail! Fail! Fail! Class, I gave you one simple assignment bring me a delicious food that no one in the history of caveman-ity has ever eaten before.
- Is that so hard? - Try this.
It's a chickuna stuffed in a pig rat stuffed in a duckturken.
I call it "the most.
" Oh, it's the most.
Most disgusting! [sniffing, gagging.]
See? It's unanimous.
- What's unani-ma-mous? - [groaning.]
I don't have time to teach you new words.
I have slapping to do.
[sighing.]
Teaching used to bring me joy.
Free food, scaring kids, unchecked power.
What's not to like? But now [groaning, sighing.]
I feel nothing.
Wait.
I know what might make me feel better.
[screaming.]
- [students grunting.]
- That didn't make me feel better.
So we can come out? No! And I'd get studying down there if I were you, because tomorrow, class, I am giving you a final.
[gasping.]
Wait.
A what? A test so dangerous, it might be the final test you ever take.
Yeah! No more tests! Oh.
[cackling.]
[sighing.]
Even threatening you has lost its fun.
I'm scared and I hate showing emotion.
Not a final.
I'm terrible at good-byes.
What's a test? Okay, I'm just gonna say it.
Teacher Squawk is making school so not fun.
And I find everything fun.
Even this dirt.
Hey, maybe if we bring some fun back into Squawk's life, he'll cancel the final.
[all.]
Yeah! It's unanim-lous! I had no idea Squawk's cave was so small.
Actually, I don't think that's his cave.
I think that is.
Hey, Teacher Squawk.
Students? I always imagined one day you'd pay me a visit at my home.
And now that you're here, let me say, I won't go down without a fight! - [all gasping.]
- No, wait, no.
No, we just came to ask if you wanted to hang out.
So this isn't about revenge? We were just gonna have some fun.
So we thought, why not ask the coolest guy we know to join us? - Huh? - Huh Well, not really used to visits that aren't about revenge.
But sure.
It's called a "rolling alley.
" Ha! Just take this rock and go for it.
[chuckling.]
Oh, hm Doesn't seem completely dreadful.
[grunting.]
Oh, that's okay.
You get another.
- [shrieking.]
- Oh.
Okay, how many points is that worth? - None.
- [growling.]
[grunting.]
Come on! Come on, baby.
Go! Get 'em! [shrieking.]
- [grunting.]
- You lowered your shoulder too much! - [yelping.]
- [screaming.]
There.
I win.
That's now how it works.
Pfft.
You said this was fun.
[groaning.]
Okay, get ready for more fun.
Now grab the fluffiest one you can find and then, cocoon fight! [laughing.]
[scoffing.]
Is this the amateur age? Pick a weapon big enough to win.
- No, that's not a cocoon.
- [buzzing.]
Let the weak perish! [yelling.]
- [screaming.]
- [shrieking.]
I didn't mean me! What a waste of time.
- There's nothing up there.
- Sure, there is.
See? There's a tree and there's a bunducky.
And that one there is a well, they're not all shaped like something.
Wait.
I do see one.
There.
It looks like my old pal from childhood.
Huh? Where? [Eep.]
All I see is a spider ant.
[Squawk.]
Yep.
Old Face Pincher.
Oh, man, I hated that guy.
Hey, pinch this.
[groaning.]
Ooh, look.
A flower.
[sighing.]
Hey, sorry today was a bust.
See you tomorrow at the final.
You know, maybe we don't need a final.
Really? So today wasn't terrible? No, it was endlessly awful.
But I have to admit, it was fun being part of the gang, so no final.
- [all gasping.]
- In fact, let's take tomorrow off.
[cheering.]
- Now go to Deep Trouble.
- [sighing.]
[chuckling.]
Sorry.
Force of habit.
[sighing.]
This is the life.
No final, no school.
[sighing.]
It's nice to finally sleep in.
- Good morning, students.
- [yelping.]
Or should I say freends.
Uh, fronds.
Uh, you mean "friends"? Yes! That's it.
So what are we doing today? Pin the claws on the crabby tabby? Or liyote in the middle? Uh, actually, we were gonna go down to the watering hole, so Perfect! I'll change into my swimming pelt.
Oh, a day at the watering hole with my best friends.
So much fun.
Just to be clear, I'm still your best friend, right? Please say yes, otherwise I'll cry and scream at the same time forever.
Of course, but hey, one more day with Squawk thinking he's our friend beats a final, right? Hey, who wants their hair braided? - [grunting.]
- I don't hate it.
Whoo! Boulder ball! [scoffing.]
That's nothing.
We sure are making memories today, aren't we, froonds? And then a third student went missing, but this time, I honestly had nothing to do with it.
Whoa, look.
The sun's going down.
Phew! Guess we should head home, huh? [yawning.]
Yeah, I'm pretty tired myself.
- I am also sleepy.
- [yawning.]
Oh, I see.
Well, better rest up for all the fun we're going to have tomorrow.
Yeah, yeah.
About that.
We actually have plans tomorrow.
Great.
I'll swing by at sunup.
No.
We're gonna be busy trying to give someone a hint.
We are? Who? Dad? Is it Dad? Yeah, who? He sounds like a real jerk.
Let your best friend Squawk set him straight.
I would do anything for you guys.
[grunting.]
Enough! We're not your best friends.
We just hung out with you so you wouldn't give us a final.
Oh, I knew that.
I just pretended I didn't so you wouldn't give me a final.
- Hey, that doesn't make any - Good night, students.
Wait, Teacher Squawk.
Come back.
No, no, no, no.
I just remembered, I have important teachery business.
What if we don't go back to school? Come on.
Squawk was upset, but he's probably calmed down by now.
Class, or should I say giant jerks I never wanted to be friends with anyway, we got a little distracted yesterday.
- But today, it's back to the final.
- [all gasping.]
[Squawk.]
You each must make it out of Deep Trouble, only, as you see, I've made some improvements.
But I thought improvements meant making something better.
Have I been using "improvements" wrong this whole time? You I do not expect to survive.
It's now surrounded by mantraps, its walls lined with buzztle nests.
At the bottom, a pool of water filled with ferocious yellyfish, three starving wart frogs, and a man-eating buffalippo.
They're not really at their best in water, but I pushed him in and so it's too late to change it now.
Teacher Squawk, is this necessary? I know we hurt your feelings, but Hurt my feelings? When? Oh, when you pretended to be my friends, then stomped on my heart till it was dust? I'd forgotten about all that.
Now, into the death hole with you! [grunting, screaming.]
[students.]
Teacher Squawk! Teacher Squawk, are you okay? What do you care? You're not my friends.
You're just some children I torment from time to time.
Everyone, link up.
We've got a teacher to save.
[grunting.]
Teacher Squawk, here.
[gasping.]
Got it! Pull us up! [whimpering.]
- [grunting.]
- [wart frog groaning.]
[yelling.]
[gasping.]
You saved me.
Even after I was gonna chuck you in that pit and tell your parents you all got lost on a field trip.
We may not be your friends, but you're our teacher.
We can't let our teacher die.
Oh, children, you're right.
I really don't wanna be friends with kids.
I mean, you're fun and all, but you're also puny and easy to trick.
[groaning.]
I need friends like me.
[sighing.]
But who's like me? Hey, uh, how about him? Quit it.
I'm not dead.
Wait.
Me? Be friends with a lizvult? Why not? You both love being mean and screeching and eating rotten carcasses.
- [squawking.]
- [chuckling.]
Why, he even knows my name.
It's settled.
Squawk Junior and I will be best friends forever.
And as for our final? Do we still have to take it today? No.
School's cancelled.
I've got a best friend to play with.
You'll take it tomorrow.
[all sighing.]
[giggling.]
Oh, Junior! Oh, you.
[music playing.]
[eating noisily.]
Sorry I'm late.
I was helping Lerk.
She got her head stuck in a tree.
I was talking to a worm I met.
Turns out we knew a lot of worms in common.
Have a seat, honey.
Your food's getting cold and restless.
You're having meat? Wow! Well, if you'd like to join us.
Mmm! Thanks, Eep's mom! I mean, mold's okay and everything, but this is meat and it's so good! Moldy meat would be good.
Lerk grew up in total darkness, so she sometimes forgets people can see her when she eats.
- Please pass the water.
- Sure.
[yelping.]
Oh, whittled sticks.
The water was even good today.
Yeah, yeah, it reminded me of that happy fruit I ate that one time.
You mean that fruit that made you see things and think we were all [hissing.]
Monsters! [shrieking.]
[screaming.]
[yelling, laughing.]
Just kidding.
I don't know what's going on.
[everyone shuddering, whimpering.]
Whoa, what is going on? [sniffing, gasping.]
[gasping.]
Those happy fruits must have contaminated the watering hole.
- Yeah.
Better test it to make sure.
- No, Lerk, no! It'll make your mind all weird er.
Who did this? [yelling.]
The Broods? But we defeated you.
Once and for all, I assumed.
Oh, don't you know the saying? When you assume, you make an enemy for life! And that's what we are now, so [groaning.]
Thanks to you tailless losers, we have to live in Molar Bear Ravine.
Anywho, we're out of food.
And since hunting's hard, we figured we'd make you all go bonkers so we could grab all of yours.
- Bye.
- Oh, that's not food.
[giggling.]
Hey, as Valley leader, I demand you return our food this instant.
- [chikuna clucking.]
- Don't you cluck at me.
Wait.
Stop 'em.
Everyone.
[grunting.]
Don't worry.
I didn't drink any water.
I'll get our food back.
Will you be okay? The sun's going down, and I can see you're scared by the look on your second face.
[hissing.]
She'll be fine.
I'll have her back.
[shuddering.]
Let's get our foods back from the Broods [sighing.]
This is gonna take a while.
Sandy? Can you keep an eye on things here? [screaming, whimpering.]
Quickest way to the ravine is through the Garden of Eatin'.
We gotta hurry.
That jerk moon'll come soon and eat all the light.
Good news, then.
This fella says there's a shortcut past that tree.
[growling.]
- This is why we don't listen to worms.
- [Lerk giggling.]
Hey, I know.
[squealing.]
What are you doing? Calling a winged cheetah to ride so we can get there fast and in style.
All the predators will hear you.
I should hope not.
Then we'd be in serious trouble.
[growling.]
[screaming.]
[all shuddering.]
Cave people, relax.
The monsters are not real.
You have nothing to fear.
[roaring.]
[screaming.]
[sighing.]
I've failed my people as leader, haven't I, Talking Hole? Sure have, Gruggy, my man.
We need a new leader to get us through this.
Someone bigger and smarter.
But mostly bigger.
Like you.
[growling.]
O merciful giant, I yield to your immense bigness.
Behold our new giant leader! [all.]
All hail the new leader! [squealing.]
Talking Hole has a bad feeling about this.
We need to distract them with this.
[molerats hissing.]
- [buzzing.]
- [hissing.]
Oh! [sighing.]
Now to resume eating the food that I can only assume is still there.
- Oh - [Lerk giggling.]
Whose bravery runs through and through? It's the one and only you Sorry.
Think they heard us? [Blurg.]
I think I heard them ask if we heard them.
[sniffing.]
I smell Eep.
And I wanna say sweaty hair.
I will find you, Eep.
You too, Sweat Hair.
Another escape from a miserable end Thanks to Eep, my bestest Lerk! Stop it.
Classic Eep.
Too humble to take a compliment.
No.
Listen to me.
Stop singing and talking to worms and getting your head stuck in trees.
Okay, sorry.
Last one, I promise.
- Look, you're my best friend - [giggling.]
But you're not helping.
Could you be more useful and less you? [sniffling.]
Sorry.
Let me try to say that in a way that's not so mean.
Boy, this is tough.
No.
You're as right as you are awesome.
I'll cool it with the Lerkiness.
[monotone.]
I feel nothing.
Let us walk home.
Which way is home again? O great massive towering leader, please show us the way to peace.
Uh, did I miss something, people? Why are you bowing to a baby? [growling.]
Our leader says you need a sitter.
Please.
No! I in no way have this coming.
No! [cackling.]
A worm.
How uninteresting.
Hm.
A worm.
How uninteresting.
[groaning.]
Lousy darkness.
We're going in circles.
Hm.
A worm.
How uninteresting.
Let us keep walking.
Preferably in silence.
Wow.
Lerk, you are crushing not being you.
[giggling.]
[clearing throat.]
Ha! Food sacks, losers.
- Never.
- Indeed.
Desist at once, ruffian.
- [screaming.]
- Yelp, yelp.
- [panting.]
- [gasping.]
[groaning.]
- I'm still in here.
- [gasping.]
[grunting.]
Yes! We're home free! [growling.]
Whew! I was worried there.
You guys being idiots really bailed me out.
Eep, Hair Sweat.
[sniffing.]
I do believe she means me.
Eep Crood is not plant food! [panting, groaning.]
Lerk, got any ideas? No.
Our situation is futile.
Hey, where's the upbeat Lerk with endless ideas that I know and love? That Lerk is gone, per your request.
I will now conserve my voice for my dying scream.
- [clearing throat.]
- [panting.]
Lerk, please.
Snap out of it.
I need one of your crazy ideas.
Please.
[squealing, shrieking.]
[sighing.]
That felt good.
Also, a winged cheetah will come save us at any moment.
Okay, so not that moment, but I did say any moment.
It could come at a different one.
Like this one! Thanks for trying, but I guess we can't weird our way out of this.
- [winged cheetah growling.]
- [gasping.]
[laughing.]
Lerk, your crazy idea, it worked! If you thought that was crazy, wait till you see how I ride.
On, Nightbreaker! [howling.]
Yeah! How are you I can barely see.
I own the dark.
I did grow up in it.
Now let's steal back that stolen food we previously stole back earlier.
I need some guidance.
Where my worms at? Thanks, pals.
Friendship! I'm never washing this hand again.
[yelping.]
And that is for calling Eep a loser! [groaning.]
[cheering.]
We made it! I mean, [monotone.]
we have survived.
Hoorah.
Lerk, that was amazing! I'm sorry I asked you to crank down your youness.
I was wrong.
We all need more Lerk, not less.
[gasping.]
Really? Aw! That calls for a song.
It sure does.
Who's the bestest, tell me who It's the one and only you! Aw! [giggling.]
Aw, come here, you.
- Now let's get this food back - [cave people.]
Where's leader? There's leader.
Where's leader? There's leader.
Come play with us.
Yeah.
Let's get outta here till the happy fruit wears off.
This is too weird even for me.
[giggling.]
[cackling.]
Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum ba-dum
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