Dawn of the Croods (2015) s04e04 Episode Script

They Might Be Sky Giants; The Grugest Story Ever Told

1 [rumbling.]
[all screaming.]
[Womp.]
I'm a ball.
[panting.]
Okay, that was weird, but looks like everyone is fine.
[rumbling.]
[others gasp.]
I'm gonna keep looking this way and assume my words are still true.
[Grug grunting.]
Uh Eep, how much longer do you plan to be in shock? Because I could use a hand over here.
I mean, Thunk has a big heart, but [grunts.]
Hyah! And everyone else still seems to be in panic mode from the ground attack.
- Let go.
I'm looting here.
- I'm hoarding over here.
You both beat it.
Amber hoarding and looting wherever Amber wants.
Why did the ground attack us? It was just so so random.
Dad, why do bad things happen? Uh bad things happen because reasons.
'Cause "reasons"? Eep, things just happen, good or bad, okay? So let's just go with "because reasons.
" - Uh - And before you can ask me to clarify - [yelps.]
- Because? Oh, so so, life is just random and cruel? So anything bad can happen at any moment for no reason? Agh! Ugh! [groans.]
- [male voice.]
Eep Crood, up here.
- [gasps.]
[Eep screams.]
Whoa, nothing to fear.
I'm just the sky giant responsible for everything in life.
I stomped Ahhh! Valley into existence many moons ago.
- My name is Skermiggleflop.
- Skermiggleflop? - Put her there.
- [gasps.]
Wow, I have so many questions.
Are you a giant's foot or a giant foot? Who was the first cave person? Gran? When will I get my first kiss? No, my first kill? No offense, but I typically only let people ask me, like, one or two questions per vision, so Oh, yeah, of course, of course.
Sorry.
[chuckles.]
Skermiggleflop, why do you let bad things happen? Wow! Going straight for the big one.
[chuckles.]
Sure you wouldn't rather learn the meaning of life, or why I invented boogers? No? Fine.
Bad things happen to remind you to give thanks for time's up.
[grunts, screams.]
- Where did he go? - [Thunk, Grug.]
Hmm? No.
Skermiggleflop, the giant foot responsible for our very existence.
Thunk, this seems like your area of expertise.
No, I got nothin'.
Dad, Skermiggleflop answered my question.
[giggles.]
Bad things happen because we need to give thanks for him! [laughs.]
I better get thanking.
[yells.]
Thank you, Skermiggleflop! Thunk, you just became the normal Crood child.
[shuddering.]
Oh! Making art.
Neat.
I once painted a portrait of, well, it's your head, but, like, on the body of a buffalippo.
I'm painting thanks to Skermiggleflop.
[chuckles.]
A giant foot in the sky who sees and knows all.
He's got the whole valley in his toes.
There's a sky giant responsible for all the awesome stuff in my life? Like you and uh mostly you.
Yeah.
But he can stomp it all away if we don't give him thanks.
So here.
[chuckles.]
Sign this thank-you slate.
Oh, yeah.
Anything to avoid being squished.
- Should we get him flowers, too? - Yeah! A thank-you slate and flowers! [gasps.]
And more things.
Yeah, we'll get the whole valley to thank him.
Hi.
I'd like to tell you about an all-powerful sky giant who, if we show him thanks, will never let bad things ever happen again.
Uh how big sky giant Eep talking here? Huge! His toe is the size of me.
[shudders.]
Oh! Amber no anger foot that big.
So Skermiggleflop created eggs? So Skermiggleflop created smashing? Yah, yah, yah, yah! Yah, yah, yah! If I thank Skermiggleflop, all my pain will go away, including my broken heart, and this? A sky giant? Pass.
I already believe in an elder unknowable tentacle monster.
La la la If Skermiggleflop's really all-powerful, can he grow a toenail so big even he can't cut it? Yes.
And no.
Wow! Sky giant floating in the clouds Who watches over us We're glad we're not your toe jam If we give you thanks we know You won't squash us with your huge toe We're glad we’re not your toe jam No, it's cool.
Sing to your sky giant.
I'll rebuild our home alone.
So that do it? No more bad things? - My self-esteem is feeling better.
- I don't know, actually.
I guess we just have to wait and see if anything bad ever happens again.
- Or we can test that right now! - No, no, no, Fan, don't! Agh! [moans.]
Oh Sorry.
Running a little late.
Had to stomp another valley out of existence, then get my nails done.
Oh, powerful Skermiggleflop, how about that thank-you slate, huh? No more bad things will happen now.
Right? No, not at all.
Got a bad thing scheduled for your valley tomorrow.
But I got everyone to thank you.
Did I get too many people? Is it Fan? [gasps.]
You want me to get rid of Fan? No, I love all my creations.
Even Fan.
Hmm? Kind of.
I'm not asking you to give thanks to me.
I'm asking all of you to give more thanks for Say hi to humanity for me.
And then, the pigrat flies out, but you're never the same.
That is what I do to people who hurt Eep.
Oh, I'm okay, Lerk.
And don't hurt Fan.
Turns out Skermiggleflop likes him.
- Really? - Really? And he told me why bad things are still happening.
We need to give more thanks.
- Aha! - But of course.
Ah! Sure! Okay.
[yells.]
Amber more thankful! Problem solved? Ah, to be safe, let's go bigger.
Yeah, like, travel up to the highest point in Ahhh! Valley first thing tomorrow, and give Skermiggleflop the most thanks we can.
And I think we all know what that means.
Right? Sure this is what Skermiggleflop means? Why would he want my stuff? What more could we give him besides everything we own? Our hair.
Our noses.
[gasps.]
Our lives.
Lerk, I don't think Skermiggleflop is asking for anyone's life.
[voices overlapping.]
Here, sky giant.
Take Fan life.
I don't mind.
Smashed by a big foot is exactly the way I wanna go.
No.
No, that's not what Skermiggleflop wants.
Thank you.
That's what I said.
When he said to be more thankful, he means for feet.
I'm changing my name from Handsy to Footsy.
Please.
Everyone knows he means to be more thankful for foot fungus.
I think he wants you to follow my elder unknowable tentacle monster.
No? No takers? Okay, well, try to keep it down.
I think my monster lives down that hole.
[voices overlapping.]
[yells.]
Stop! I'm the one Skermiggleflop spoke to, so obviously, the only way to show him more thanks is to follow me.
[chuckles.]
- So follow me! - Yeah, Amber still gonna toss Fan.
No, we need more fungus among us.
Yeah, well, we can at least show our more thanks and be spared when he kicks those who didn't into the sun.
Eep, are you sure this is what Old Floppy would want from us? Sure, I'm sure.
And if I'm wrong, Skermiggleflop will make something bad happen to me right now.
[rumbling.]
[crowd screaming.]
[chuckles.]
Hey! Turns out my elder unknowable tentacle monster is knowa agh! [screaming.]
[British accent.]
Skermiggleflop, why hast thou forsaken me? Oh, child, I haven't forsaken you.
And only I get to do the accent.
But I was more thankful for you so that bad stuff wouldn't happen.
What I've been trying to say is, don't be thankful for me.
All of you need to be more thankful for each other.
- Wait, what? Even - Yes.
Even Fan.
[gasps.]
Bad things are going to happen, no matter what, so you need to be grateful for each other and work together.
Even you don't know why bad things happen? I think it has something to do with free will.
Oh, real quick Your world will one day come to something called "The End," so whoops, out of time.
[crowd screaming.]
[Fan.]
The ultimate smash.
No! [growls.]
[grunts.]
Together! Skermiggleflop wants us to work together! [snaps.]
Work together, people.
Let's get this thing from all sides.
[growling.]
[all grunting.]
[grunting.]
Yah! - Ugh! - [all grunting.]
[bangs.]
Aw, I picked the wrong higher power.
Eep, are you okay? That monster nearly had ya.
You must be furious at Skermiggleflop.
No.
It's not about showing Skermiggleflop our thanks.
Bad things will happen sometimes.
So we need to be grateful for each other.
- [grunts.]
Even? - Yes, Fan, even you.
We should all try to get along, no matter who we are or what we believe.
- [voices overlapping.]
- [Thunk.]
Really? 'Cause I believe cave people in the future are making up our lives in elaborate cave drawings.
[all laughing.]
Okay, maybe that is a little ridiculous, Thunk.
Okay, seriously? None of you are gonna help me rebuild our home? I thought we were a community, people! Come on! [spitting.]
[sucks.]
Ta-da! [chuckles.]
Thank you, Marm.
That was spit-tacular.
[chuckles.]
Boy, we sure have a lot of talented performers tonight.
So let's give a big round of applause for me, for putting this all together.
Yay, Grug! [laughs.]
Yeah, what a truly, truly great idea from a truly, truly great leader.
Next up, a comedian who's sure to slay you, especially if you're a defenseless animal.
- Amber! - [audience cheering.]
Thank you, thank you.
Man, Grug sure think Grug do everything great.
Be fair, Grug at least better than Bort.
Bort no can even get rid of critter living in Bort pelt! [laughing.]
You got me! [snarling.]
[sighs.]
[all laughing.]
No, it got you.
[laughs.]
And hey, speaking of Grug, Grug say Grug truly, truly great leader.
But if that true, why Grug only okay leader? Oh, sorry.
Amber mean truly, truly okay leader.
[laughing.]
Hey, that is well, that is a good impression, but it's also wrong.
[Amber.]
What difference between Grug and Tyrannaconda? Tyrannaconda full of cavemen Grug full of self! [laughing.]
[crowd laughing.]
He is full of himself.
And I do wish a Tyrannaconda would eat him.
[croaking laughter.]
[distorted laughter.]
[distorted laughter.]
- Uh-uh! Stop laughing at me.
- "Stop laughing at Grug.
" [laughter continues.]
- [snarls.]
- Ow! [crabby tabby snarls.]
Amber just joke.
After all I've done for this valley, they treat me like a joke? Grug, it's just a few laughs.
If they laugh at me, they don't respect me.
And if they don't respect me, how can I be leader? And if I'm not leader, they'll laugh at me more, and before you know it, I'll be Bort.
Bort, Ugga! Bort.
[snarls.]
[whines.]
It's already happening! Don't take yourself so seriously.
You'll never be Bort.
Worst-case scenario, you're Baitsy.
[grunts.]
[yelps.]
No! There's gotta be a better way to show them I'm not to be laughed at.
[Snoot.]
Stop wasting your eyes and ears on other stories.
Behold my tale of bravery, as told by Thunk.
Snoot, brave? Well, a good laugh at him would cheer me up.
Weak, whiny, the worst.
That's the Snoot we know and barely tolerate.
But is there another Snoot? Hmm? As the only child of parents who couldn't outrun a bear owl, you'd think Snoot would be eaten, too.
And you'd be right.
Most people would've given up at this point.
But not Snoot.
He bravely refused to be digested, until the beast had no choice but to admit defeat and release our strong, proud, not-the-worst Snoot.
[cheering.]
If Thunk can make the valley stop laughing at him, imagine if he told my story.
- Well, then, no one would think you - Shh.
Ugga, I said imagine.
Thunk, that was amazing.
Nutty buggy? [gasps.]
Ooh! [munching.]
Thanks.
It's something new I'm trying.
I call it a "buy-o-pic," because Snoot bought me to make nice pictures about him.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, so, I was thinking, maybe the next time you tell a buy-o-pic, you can tell mine.
I'd love to tell your story, Dad.
[slurps.]
We know your story already.
Doofus talks a lot, yada yada, trips and falls off a cliff hopefully.
Thunk's next story should be about me.
You know I'm the cave person who invented kissin'.
No, that's my story.
People rip things off all the time.
Now if you'll excuse me yabba-dabba-Doo! So, just show them the real me.
The one no one would dare laugh at.
Yeah, and make sure I say cool stuff, like, "Turn it up a notch," or "You got Grug'd!" Sure, but I take my buy-o-pics seriously.
For Snoot's, we spent moons listening to his whole life story to find one moment that we could make sound sort of brave, with some spin.
So oh, spin is the professional term for lying.
So if you wanna show people the real you, my collaborator and I must observe you being yourself.
Just pretend I'm not here.
No problem.
I'm totally being myself - In your face! - Agh! Boom! Ha! You got Grug'd.
[laughs.]
Huh? Huh? People think I'm a joke? Well, would a joke think up the brilliant idea to create an egg reserve in case of an egg-mergency? [screaming.]
Okay, we can't use this.
Another impressive thing about me is that I'm a truly, truly great father.
Sandy, here's Daddy.
[snarls.]
Come on, I know you love me.
Kiss your father who loves you.
[rips.]
[stammers.]
On second thought, I like to keep my family life private.
Help! Save my little Booboo! Make sure you get this, guys.
Whoa! "Little Booboo" is a winged cheetah? [snarls.]
No.
Booboo is my tree, and you saved him.
[grunts.]
[trumpets.]
[trumpeting.]
- [gasps.]
- [trumpeting.]
I'm sketching our deaths.
[grunts.]
Hey, you want a big finish for my buy-o-pic? Watch this.
[Grug grunts.]
Wow, Dad.
I think we got everything we need to tell your buy-o-pic to the valley tonight.
- Great! - [gir-elephants trumpeting.]
[crashing.]
Also, edit that out.
Hey, family, did you hear? "Come see the amazing story of a truly, truly great dude who's definitely not a joke.
" Oh, "This will be the defining moment of your lives"? [cackles.]
Oh, Grug, don't you think you're taking this a bit too seriously? Uh, if anything, I'm taking this a bit too not seriously enough.
Thunk, buddy, can't wait to see how my awesome buy-o-pic is coming.
Freeze.
Go back to the pelt ripping.
[Thunk.]
"Sandy, here's Daddy.
" - [gasps.]
No! No, this is all wrong.
- You're right, Dad.
The rip was way worse.
And I think he tooted a little.
- Add a classy toot.
Got it.
- No.
No toot.
No underpelt.
The whole point of this is to impress people so they don't laugh at me.
If you don't think toots can be impressive, then you haven't been livin'.
Plus, they're funny.
[chuckles.]
- [sputters.]
- [laughs.]
Told ya! [laughing.]
- [spurts.]
- [laughing.]
But I thought you wanted the valley to see the real you, right? The good real me.
No, no, no.
Where is the awesome spin? You don't need it.
People know you can be brave.
What they just need to see is your silly, regular-guy side.
You want me to look silly? Big no.
Let's lose all of this.
And I'll write something new that'll really get my message across.
Hmm.
As soon as I finish rubbing my hands like this.
Here you go.
The true story of Grug Crood, as far as they know.
Sure you don't wanna try our version? Womp hasn't stopped laughing about it yet.
[laughing.]
I can't breathe.
Make it stop! I am so sure, Thunk.
Now get to it.
Welcome.
I'm here tonight to tell you about Grug Crood.
- Ahem! Spin it.
- Uh, sorry.
Our "truly, truly awesome leader," Grug Crood.
Let's give it up for Grug.
Huh? [clicks.]
Grug Crood has the heart of a bear owl, the strength of a bear owl, and the brains of a really smart bear owl.
Grug is someone you can respect.
He loves his family, and a cold smashfruit on a hot, sunny day.
And if there's a Tyrannaconda on the loose, he'll kick it out of the valley with a single flick of his big pinky toe.
Grug also invented rain by punching Mr.
Sun and making him cry for days.
Whoosh! Whoosh! Rain! There's more.
Grug has never, ever tooted, but if he did, it would smell like honeysuckle.
Uh, Grug story big load of bullpuppy.
- Right, bullpuppy? - [slurps.]
I agree with Amber, too.
You do toot, and they do stink.
I can smell it from my cave.
Grug think Amber believe all this? To that, Amber say ha! [crowd laughs.]
Oh, you just love to laugh at me, huh? Well, time for you to see how it feels.
"Look at me.
I'm Amber, and Amber talk like this.
" [laughing.]
It true! Amber do talk like that.
And, "Oh, I'm Bort, and I'm in love with Amber.
" [chortles.]
And thoughts of Amber do consume my every waking moment.
Yeah, that's what I said.
And, uh [whines.]
"Uh, I'm Handsy", and my best friend is a tree, and I hug it like this.
" [laughing.]
That's a good summary of my character.
- Wait.
They actually like this? - Yeah.
It's fun to laugh at yourself.
[chanting.]
Grug, Grug, Grug, Grug, Grug, Grug, Grug! Okay, "Hi I'm Snoot", and I hold my nose up like this, 'cause I think I'm better than everyone.
" [chuckles.]
I do do that, because I am better than everyone.
Especially you, Grug.
[chuckles.]
Hey, I am not to be laughed at.
[high-pitched voice.]
Because I'm Grug, and I'm truly, truly full of myself.
- [laughing.]
- "I whine too much like a baby.
" Goo-goo, Ga-Ga.
And worst of all, this is my face.
" [laughter continues.]
Check out the real me! [squeaks.]
- [man.]
Yeah! - Amber respect classy toot joke.
- Impressive.
- Oh, he tooted! It's so funny.
[man.]
Now, that's good comedy.
Feels good to not take yourself so seriously, huh? [chuckles.]
Yeah.
[Womp laughing.]
I can't breathe! Make it stop! - [spurts.]
- [laughter continues.]

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