Dawson's Creek s03e01 Episode Script

Like a Virgin

- Sorry? - You're drooling on your chin.
Saliva from sleep.
You're a very heavy breather, did you know that? No.
And a scintillating conversationalist.
Just my luck.
What's in your lap? Not that.
The movie.
What are you watching? Risky Business.
- With Tom Cruise? - And Rebecca De Mornay.
Where they do it on a train, and it's unbelievably sweet and meaningful even though he's a virgin and she's a hooker who's slept with hundreds of men.
It's more of a modern myth.
Joseph Campbell meets Sigmund Freud meets Holden Caulfield.
Teenage boy passes into manhood by way of a sexual encounter with a woman who's essentially a fantasy character of his own creation.
Hey, you're adorable.
- What's your name? - Dawson.
Dawson Leery.
- You all right? - My dad taught me: "When shaking hands, always make sure the other guy releases first.
It imparts a subtle yet powerful advantage in all human intercourse.
" Actually, I meant your skin.
Do you have a fever or something? Oh, that's just me.
My temperature.
I run a few degrees hot.
So when are you gonna tell me about your girlfriend? I'll take it from here.
I thought you were supposed to be here by 8:00.
Isn't that sweet? Little girl's nervous about missing the first day of school.
Oh, the salad days.
Yes, I remember them well.
You can spare me the Shakespeare, Rob.
My last class ends at 2:30, so I should be back here by 3.
Don't be late.
- What? - What? And how long have you two been married? What happened when you woke up? She morphed into an octogenarian Spanish woman with a hairy upper lip.
I hate it when that happens.
It was the weirdest thing.
She was this perfect girl.
One minute, she's sitting right next to me, and the next, she's gone.
When I have moments like that, I gotta change the sheets afterwards.
Maybe she wasn't real.
What about the one that is real? - What about her? - Well, today's the day.
Dawson Leery and Joey Potter have been apart for months now.
Summer has passed, and the world is waiting to figure out what'll happen.
Perhaps you and the world haven't heard the last 50,000 times I've said it's over.
Yeah, sure it's over, until she speaks to you.
She won't.
I think you underestimate the healing powers of time, Dawson.
Time for Joey to forgive and forget.
Even if Joey came up to me and said, " I forgive, and I forget," I wouldn't.
I wouldn't forget that most of the past year has been a hellish nightmare verbalizing and angst-ing instead of living.
I need to just learn how to exist and ask questions later.
Ladies and gentlemen, Capesidians of all ages new and improved and fresh from Philadelphia, I bring you Dawson Leery.
Now, just to play devil's advocate here let's say you go to school and Joey comes up and starts apologizing to you.
She does that cute little hair-flip thing and then she locks those truly, truly remarkable brown eyes of hers on you.
What do you do? I tell her that it's over and that it's been over and that we're better off without each other.
Dawson, I'm off to my coaching conference.
I'll write down the number at the hotel where I'll be.
- Coaching conference? - What, you haven't heard yet? Substitute Mitch is Capeside High School's newest varsity football coach.
Congratulations, Mr.
Leery.
How are our trusty Minutemen doing? What's the streak at now? It's, like, 0 and 38, right? 0 and 39? Oh, ye Pacey of little faith.
I can assure you, as a former Minuteman myself that this season will be a winning one.
- Thanks.
See you Sunday, Dad.
- All right.
What, that's it? You're gonna walk out just like that? No fatherly warnings, no rules and regulations no promises of impending doom should your sainted son misbehave? Good idea.
Keep Pacey out of the house.
If I start to fall asleep, don't wake me up.
Jen Lindley.
How was your summer? Host any gangbangs? You know, Belinda, I could think of a really scathing comeback but I figure I should show you a little sympathy seeing as how the lipo didn't take.
- She should be here any minute.
- Pacey.
It's the junior assembly, man, she has to come.
That's enough, all right? Good morning, I'm Principal Green.
Like all of you, in my junior year of high school, I had a new principal.
My first day back, he stood before us and imparted some earnest and touching words which were meant to usher us into what he called one of the best years of our lives.
This is not that speech.
We live in a different time.
You children are living and thinking like people twice your age and why shouldn't you? The rites of passage, which once marked growing up, are all but extinct.
- She just walked in.
- In short, I'm on to you people.
She's back there, just over my shoulder.
And I'm one step ahead of you.
For example, like that gentleman in the fifth row who's talking.
- Me? - Please stand, sir.
- That didn't take long.
- What's your name, sir? I don't suppose you'd accept " Che Guevara," would you? - Probably not.
- Pacey Witter.
Mr.
Witter.
Mr.
Witter, I'd like to applaud you for being the first student I've met at Capeside who behaves like one.
It is my hope that someday you all will act as such.
Reclaim your youth.
Live, learn, screw up.
Keep up the good work, Mr.
Witter.
And I'll see you on Saturday for detention.
Sally, who are we kidding? Lay off the hot dogs, and try 4-H.
That's where they're looking for the prize hogs.
She only came over here because somebody made one too many pit stops at Krispy Kreme this summer.
Now I know how anthropologists feel when they stumble across a lost tribe whose ancient rituals have remained untouched by time.
Yeah, well, I don't understand why anyone would want to become a cheerleader in the first place.
There's one way to find out.
Jen, what are you doing? I'm signing up for tryouts.
Let me think about that.
Not.
Belinda, haven't you wondered if I've got what it takes to hold up those pompoms? Okay, Lindley, you're on.
Tomorrow at 3.
- Be prompt.
- Will do.
Mr.
Green seemed like a cool guy.
Good sense of humour.
He was kidding about that whole detention thing, right? No, Pace.
He seemed Dawson? Dawson, there's an ending to that sentence or? You're right, I'm gonna break.
I'm gonna crumble.
Joey Potter at 3 o'clock.
Just get me out of here.
Anywhere.
- Anywhere? - Anywhere that Joey will not find me.
Well, for a mere 25 dollars, young sir, I think I have just the place.
- Hey, Jo.
- Oh, it's not Joey.
It's the shell of her exhausted remains.
Bessie, if I have to work another hour for that nimrod boss- It's just until the insurance check comes.
Then we'll have enough to get a sitter, and I'll get a job.
No speech required.
I remember the bargain, if you can call it that.
So tell me everything.
- We got a new principal.
- Not about school, about Dawson.
What was it like seeing him again? - It was great.
- So, what'd he say? Come on, Joey, I spend most of my conversations with a teething baby.
Your sister could use a little vicarious pleasure.
Come on.
Well, he I mean, he looked at me and I looked at him and in that split second, it was like we forgave each other for everything.
Then we talked about it until we were blue in the face, like old times.
I'm glad, Jo.
You two are meant for each other.
Now, if I'm sure of anything, that's it.
I think I'm having a religious experience.
That would be Wendy who is a second-year marine biology student at Wood's Hole.
- How do you know that? - It's in her bio.
According to this, she also likes small children, big men snowboarding and the colour green.
- What can I get you, gentlemen? - Well, I would love a couple of beers and my friend here will have a tall glass of milk.
Please.
You know, sitting here, something occurs to me, Dawson.
- What? - The meaning of life.
Specifically yours.
Not another diatribe on my manhood or lack thereof.
I'm being serious here.
I have just had a blinding vision of the purpose of your junior year.
You mean besides massive and debilitating college anxiety? Yes.
At some point during this year, you, my friend, are going to get laid.
It's in keeping with this whole-new-attitude thing you got going.
- You met that girl on the bus.
- Yeah, I put her to sleep by talking about my ex-girlfriend.
It's safe to assume I'm not going to be hearing from her.
Thank you.
This is actually root beer.
- You don't remember me, do you? - Should I? Feel this.
That's right.
It's me.
As day number two folds on our quiet little creek-side village Dawson Leery has again proven successful in his endeavour to avoid Miss Joey Potter.
I am starting to question your commitment to the vida loca.
- Because I don't wanna talk to my ex? - No.
- You didn't hook up with bus girl.
- Number one, she was working.
I gave her my number.
It's up to her to use it.
- And if she does? - She won't.
Dawson, I wouldn't be so sure about that.
What's the likelihood that a woman with that degree of life experience and sexual liberation is gonna regard seriously the interest of someone who hasn't even taken his PSATs? About the same as the chances of her being in your living room.
- Hey, Dawson.
- Hi.
What are you do-? I'm sorry.
How did you-? Did you just-? This is all overexcited teenage male for " How did you get in?" Thought I'd surprise you and take you up on your offer for a date.
It was hot outside, and the door was open, so I let myself in.
It's Capeside.
We don't exactly lock up.
Interesting.
What else don't you do? I need to talk to you for a second.
Okay.
Normally, at this point in the plot, the best friend exits stage left leaving the brand-new Dawson Leery all alone with the mystery woman in his parentless house.
I'm freezing up.
This is too high in the too-good-to-be-true category.
Speaking as someone who's been there before I'm telling you, all you need is just a little bit of separation time to calm down, catch your breath and realize that you are in complete control of this situation.
I am not in complete control.
Oh, but you will be.
- The boat.
- What about it? I think you should take it out for a little spin.
Pacey, that's my dad's boat.
" Dad" being the possessive in that sentence.
Dawson, given the circumstances I think he'd understand.
Thank you.
Next.
I didn't finish my cheer.
Stacey, get a mitt and catch a clue.
It's your third year trying out for the Minutegirls.
Your waistline is thicker.
Your hairstyle is even more outdated.
The only reason we let you get this far is because we wanted to see what lame song you'd pick to cheer to.
Next up, Miss Jen Lindley.
Do you still wanna do this? Are you kidding me? Now more than ever.
Good luck.
I'm sure you'll dazzle us, Jen.
I mean, after all, we all know how flexible you are.
When you see Belinda and her clique in the hallway you're desperately wishing you were walking with them and thinking that maybe if you were wearing the right shoes sporting the latest hairstyle and using the hottest shade of lip gloss then maybe they would toss a glance in your direction.
Ever wonder why they force their narrow-minded opinions down our throats? It's because they have an inkling of what the future has in store for them beyond graduation.
Cut to 25 years from now.
Belinda McGovern wakes up one morning feeling empty.
Maybe it's because her Dartmouth-educated lawyer-husband Tad has run off to Tijuana with her daughter's roommate from boarding school.
Or maybe it's because the twins, Timmy and Tommy call her by her first name and their housekeeper " Mom.
" Or maybe it's Belinda's daily with her bottle of Prozac.
Her life has become a domestic wasteland.
Avoid this fate.
Don't let yourself become another cookie-cutter blond size 4, rah-rah, sis-bam-boom, mindless, soulless, spineless wench.
Screw these auditions, screw cheerleading and screw Belinda McGovern.
I'm changing here.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know you were back here.
I just wanted a Coke.
You just happened to get thirsty right when I'm standing here half-naked? I hadn't noticed that coincidence.
You know, I think I'm in the mood for a 7 UP instead.
I will knock the next time.
I'll lock the door the next time.
What are you staring at? You should take off your shirt.
What's the matter, too brazen for you? No.
No.
I guess I'm just a little nervous.
How come you're nervous? - For the same reason you're not.
- Oh, but I am.
- You are? - Of course.
Listen, Dawson, anything that's worth anything is scary or dangerous in one way or another.
- That's a pretty extreme world-view.
- Not at all.
Without fear, there'd be no accomplishments no testing of our limitations no fun.
A number of questions present themselves.
- Fire away.
- What's your name? Where do you live? Why on earth are you hanging out with me? In short, you know, who are you? Where do you come from? You said it yourself, Dawson.
I'm a fantasy of your own creation.
I can feel your heart beating.
- You can? - It's going a million miles an hour.
Slow down.
- I'm sorry? - The boat.
That's better.
You're a virgin, aren't you, Dawson? What comes before a virgin? Everything but.
Everything but what? That's what comes before.
Be careful, I can't see.
What-? At least tell me your name.
Eve.
You can call me Eve.
Eve.
That's a biblical name.
I'll try and live up to it.
Are you okay? I I think so.
Crashes are so intense.
Joey, this is Eve.
Eve, Joey.
Suddenly, everything becomes clear.
Wait a minute.
You know this moron? I thought I did.
Salvage charges plus yard costs plus carpentry and repainting You're looking at three grand, easy.
Provided none of the gaskets leaked or engine mounts cracked as a result of the collision.
- Three thousand dollars.
- Give or take.
I should have gone down with the ship.
No argument here.
Things could be worse.
That's what they said to King Lear before he lost his mind and his daughter killed herself.
- Or was it the other way around? - Come on, Dawson.
No one was hurt and you'll never forget this day as long as you live.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Everybody always wants life to go smoothly but the truth is, it's the mistakes that keep things interesting.
Another treacly truism, I think my sweet tooth is gonna start to ache.
Wait a second.
You're mad at me.
- You made me crash my father's boat.
- Made you what? I didn't make you do anything.
- Maybe I'm just not ready for this.
- Ready? Dawson, I've only known you for 48 hours but I think it's safe to say, you have got to stop living from the neck up.
No.
Wait.
Don't go.
You're gonna have to do a lot better than that.
A man's character is his fate.
- And? - And this isn't me.
Okay, I don't meet strange girls on buses.
I don't drive my father's boat without permission.
I mean, look what happens when I do.
Unmitigated disaster.
Well, that's too bad, because this girl just wants to have fun.
Hey, Jen.
- You look like your dog just died.
- I don't have a dog.
Yeah, I know that.
- Oh, yeah, you do know that, don't you? - Seriously, what is it? - Way to go.
- Who's that? No idea.
Oh, God.
Shoot me.
Why? What's-? The unthinkable has happened.
Good job, Miss Lindley.
- What? You've become popular? - Worse.
It was a coup d'état, a mutiny, a slave revolt, really.
Belinda has been excommunicated by her brainless bishops.
Help me out, because I don't know what you're talking about.
They're the golden ones with the rhinestone-studded handles.
Don't tell me they made you a cheerleader.
- Oh, no.
- Thank God.
They made me head cheerleader.
That's cool.
Yeah, but I thought you said that- Forget what I said.
I was lying, or at least hoping for the best.
The truth is, Dawson has been dodging me for two days.
Dodging you and crashing Mitch's pride and joy.
One Dawson left for Philadelphia and another one came back.
- Yeah, his evil twin.
- Oh, sis.
I just wish he would have told me, and then I wouldn't feel like a fool.
About the girl, you mean? One look at her, and I knew.
I mean, she's everything I'm not.
She's wild and confident and blond.
I remember the time when there was another blond in the picture.
And look how well that turned out.
It's different now.
Yes, it is.
I found two nickels, a shoelace and a pair of sunglasses that I lost two years ago.
Well, unless you plan on finding a Rolex I think you're kind of wasting your time.
I have a combined total of $42.
78.
Even if I sell my DVD player, I'm still close to 2000 dollars short.
There's about 400 dollars in here.
It's a collection.
- A collection? - I told the girls at the club the story.
They thought it was so cute, they took a collection of last night's tips.
" Cute.
" Now I'm officially mortified.
Well, never underestimate the kindness of strippers, Dawson.
Lady Eve, on behalf of my luckless buddy right here we will gladly accept your contribution.
No.
- We gladly don't.
- Why? Because it's your money, and it's my problem.
- Just take the money.
- I can't.
Look, I feel responsible for what happened and I don't feel responsible that often.
It was still my fault.
Hold on a sec.
These young women don't have to give of their wallets but only of their time and considerable talents.
- I like where you're going with this.
- I don't.
We'll throw a party here tonight.
- It's genius.
- Insane.
You'll make the cash in two hours, tops.
I'm not gonna turn my house into a strip club.
Dawson.
Teenage boys will come, Dawson.
They'll arrive at your house for reasons they can't even fathom.
They'll turn up in your driveway not really sure why they're doing it.
They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children.
"Well, of course we don't mind if you come in and look around," you'll say.
" It's only 20 dollars per person.
" And they'll pass over that money without even looking at it.
For it is money they have, and breasts they lack.
Oh, yes, Dawson, teenage boys will come.
They most definitely will come.
Step up and have the money in hand for you are about to enter the Leery den of iniquity.
And, gentlemen, my pal Gino here has strict orders to break any part of your body that touches the ladies.
Understood? Yes? All right.
Get up in there.
At the rate we're going, we'll have something left over for Jerry's Kids.
There's something not right about this.
Dude, this is so frigging awesome.
Are you all right? I'm gonna go lie down.
Hey.
Hey.
Rager downstairs, huh? Yeah.
You know me.
Less than one week into junior year and already my life's in complete and utter upheaval.
Then I'm probably the last person you want to see.
You're a lot of things, Joey, but you're never the last person I wanna see.
Dawson I'm sorry.
Not just about today.
Everything.
You know, about my dad.
I was wrong.
I mean, in that total moment of adolescent anguish and upset, I- I lashed out at the one person who cares about me the most, and who I care about the most.
You should have called me, Joey.
- Should have written me, contacted me.
- I should have done a lot of things.
I was ashamed.
And I figured I would just ignore life for a while but you can't do that forever, can you? No, you can't.
So who is she? Eve? I just met her.
Are you two? Hardly.
So did you miss me? You know I did.
Good.
Because I missed you too.
Things aren't the same anymore, Jo.
It doesn't have to be the same, Dawson.
It's a new year.
Things can be different.
And they can be better.
No.
What is it? What's wrong? Everything's wrong, Joey.
This isn't you.
I can be sexual, Dawson.
I know you can, but we can't do this.
Not now.
Not like this.
Put your shirt on.
Go to hell.
- Joey, I'm sorry if you're hurt- - Hurt? Why would I be hurt? I hope you're not delusional enough to think this is some embarrassing attempt at getting you back.
- Besides, sex is all you're about.
- Sex is not all I'm about.
You should know that.
- Don't blame me for your inexperience.
- I'm not blaming you.
I never stopped you from being with anyone.
That was clear when you dumped me.
There was time for you to have fun.
It's not my fault if you're still a virgin.
What happened between us or didn't happen was because we both wanted it that way.
Then what's wrong? What's so wrong with me? It's not you.
It's us.
I can't go through it all again.
And you're saying it'll be different, but it won't be.
- You don't know that.
- Yes, I do.
And so do you.
Joey one more year like last year and there will be no love left between us.
Well, is? Is there any now? Yes.
So you love me you just don't want me.
Come here, baby! Could I get everybody's attention, please? Everybody! All right.
Gentlemen and esteemed exotic dancers now I'd like to present to you the man who made this all possible Mr.
Dawson Leery! All right, now.
I think the preliminary results of our pledge drive are in.
So, Gino, if I could have the envelope, please.
The unofficial tally for tonight's festivities comes to 3162 dollars! Now, call me crazy, call me insane but I think it's time to open this thing to the public.
What do you say? Yeah! Come on.
- Where are we going? - I have a surprise.
I should probably stay and make sure nobody burns my house down, right? - Why would you do that? - Pretty much to avoid wondering whether I'm going to sleep with you.
Follow me, Dawson, and all secrets will be revealed.
You go ahead.
I'll be right there.
She wants me back.
- Joey? - Yeah.
And as we speak, the ever-tempting Eve stands waiting in the wings.
It always comes down to this, doesn't it, my friend: The Madonna or the Jezebel? Oh, God, you should have seen her, Pace.
She was standing before me as innocent and as beautiful as ever and I wanted her just as much as I ever have but, I don't know, as large a part of me wanted her there's a part of me just as large that knows that now is not the right time for us.
Yeah.
I need to know that she's okay.
Can you talk to her, watch out for her for a couple of days? Oh, no, no.
She needs somebody.
She'd never admit it, but she does.
Dawson, man.
Look, you'd be doing it as a favour to me.
Pace, please? Yeah.
Thank you.
You wanna go for a ride? - Is that yours? - It's my boss'.
Talked him into letting me borrow it.
I was kind of hoping we'd graduated from the open ocean to dry land.
If at first you don't succeed Dawson! - Who's that? - That's my father.
- Unexpectedly home from the hill.
- Listen, Dawson you are one step away from the rest of your life.
Get in.
I crashed his boat, and I wrecked his house.
I can't just leave.
There's nothing you can do tonight, anyway.
Be honest.
What's gonna change between now and tomorrow morning? Nothing.
Except maybe me.
Last chance.
I can't.
You know what, Dawson? I don't know who's the bigger mystery me or you.
Ahoy there.
Anyone ashore? What are you doing here? It's the damnedest thing.
I just got into Dawson's rowboat and it magically drifted towards your dock.
Yeah, well, magically drift any closer and I'll kill you.
You know, I almost believe that.
He told you, didn't he? - Didn't he? - Well, what do you think? I think I hate you both.
Well, then you're really gonna hate me when you hear what I have to say.
He did the right thing.
The two of you need to be apart right now.
How would you know what I need? Yeah.
You know, you're probably right.
How could I possibly know how hard it is to let somebody go, right? The pain of knowing that even though the two of you are right for each other that doesn't necessarily mean that you're right for each other right now.
What would I know about that, right? How could I possibly know that sometimes it just makes you want to scream hit somebody sit out at the end of a dock and cry? Of all the people to see me like this, it had to be you.
You know, it's a new year.
Who knows? You and I might even become friends.
Pacey I'm upset enough as it is.
Come here, Potter.

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