Dawson's Creek s04e17 Episode Script
Admissions
Nice dramatic entrance.
l aim to please.
Thanks.
Wow.
-These all the colleges you got into? -All the colleges Jack and l got into.
Now we have to narrow down the choices.
-There are, like, five colleges there.
-He's good at the application process.
Which means he can always resort to a career in civil service or education.
How about you? You hear anything? No, which means l can always resort to a career in waitressing.
-Hardly.
-Joey.
Something tells me you' re wrong.
Something tells me it's a sign.
-You think? -ls there another reason to pull the respectable Dawson Leery out of class? l think not.
Hey, that's a coincidence.
Hopefully a good one.
l' ll be glad when April's over.
Parents should let you kids open your own college mail instead of torturing you over the phone.
Dial nine to get out.
Well, l guess this is it, another life-altering moment.
Good luck.
Same to you.
Mom, hey.
Yeah, that's why l called.
-NYU Film? Open it.
-Hey, Bessie.
No, l'm glad you called.
lt finally came.
l don't think l can wait till l get home.
-Do you think you can read it to me? -Read that again.
l didn't understand.
No, it doesn't.
lt really says that? Oh, my God! Yeah.
No, l heard.
Yeah.
l understand.
All right.
Gotta go.
-You sure there's nothing l can do? -Stop it.
l'm okay.
lf the circumstances were reversed, l know how l'd feel.
Yeah.
You'd be happy for me, like l am for you.
Hey, what's up, campers? Okay.
We've got some weird chi going on here.
l'll let her give you the good news.
Promise me you' ll celebrate.
So, what's the good news? We both just called home, and while he found out he got rejected by NYU l found out that l got accepted to Worthington.
Worthington! Oh, you got in! Congratulations, sweetheart.
That is fantastic news.
Be happy.
You heard the man.
You've got nothing to feel guilty about.
Well, it's just so surreal.
l mean, stuff like this doesn't happen to me.
Come on.
Where are we going? We still have sixth period.
With all due respect to history class, today is about the future.
Your future.
You're not gonna believe that letter till you see it.
Pacey, l can't just cut class.
What, you' re not gonna get into college? Please.
No.
No, no, no.
l'm not watching that video again, Jen.
lt's too handheld.
lt's gonna make me hurl.
But l do like the one with the queen professor -talking about the Statue of Liberty.
-You laughed through it.
-Jack, come on, be serious.
-All right.
We've got a lot of schools to cover and we need to make an informed decision here.
Okay, why don't we do this systematically? Why are we wasting our time on this? We both know there's only one choice: The University of New York.
lt's a great school.
You say New York is the only city worth living in.
So, please, can't we just do this? Well, what would you say if l said that l.
That l wasn't so sure anymore? l'd say someone needs to deal with her issues.
Twenty pounds of chicken, fresh rosemary.
-Honey, orange juice, ginger-- -Bodie, slow down.
You talk too fast.
What are you guys doing? Jo, l am so proud of you.
And Mom would be too.
Do l get a hug from the college girl? What are you doing home so early? She's having a bit of trouble with the believing part.
-Do you have a certain letter handy? -l think l can dig that up.
So did we interrupt something? Only the barbecue we' re planning for tomorrow to celebrate the first Potter to get into college.
-Could l be more excited than you? -Not possible.
Okay, then.
So who do you want to invite? You' re really serious? lt's not every day a Potter gets accepted to one of the most prestigious colleges, or any college, for that matter.
Well, what are you waiting for? Well, Bessie already read it to me.
l know what it says already.
l don't know why l'm so nervous.
You' re nervous because this makes it real.
''Dear Josephine Potter congratulations.
Worthington College is pleased to offer you admittance for the fall semester of 2001 .
'' l got it.
l got it.
You shouldn't run around answering doors in your condition.
Relax.
Go knit something.
And stop giving me the pitying-mom look like the worst thing in the world just happened to me.
l wish l could do something to take the sting off the disappointment.
Mom, l'm fine.
Really.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Hi, Gale.
-Hi.
l'm glad you two are going out.
He needs to get his mind off-- Mom.
Stop it.
You' re killing me here.
Okay.
So how you holding up? Honestly.
Truth? lt sucks.
Absolutely sucks.
lf NYU doesn't want me, USC definitely won't want me.
-Where does that leave me? -Well, no.
First of all, NYU has no bearing on USC.
Remember that.
And secondly, l'd like to point out that a certain A.
l.
Brooks didn't go to film school.
He preferred life as a teacher.
You're saying l could use the money he gave me -to make my own movies? -Why not? l mean, film school doesn't have to be the be-all, end-all.
What? Ten minutes ago, l was feeling completely lost.
Jack and Jen got in everywhere, Jo got into Worthington.
All l wanted to do was wallow but then somebody reminded me that the world is full of possibilities.
You and that couch have always gotten along well in the past.
-You wanna talk about it? -l'm having a problem with Jack.
We wanna go to the same college or at least be in the same city help each other through freshman angst.
Sounds like a plan.
A support system's good especially in foreign surroundings.
That's the point.
lt wouldn't be foreign if we go where he wants to go.
Which is where? New York City.
Which brings us back to your least favourite topic.
-My parents.
-Why do you think, Jen that they keep finding their way into this room? That sounds like a question you already know the answer to.
-l think you do also.
-You know, you' re very pushy today.
lt's Wednesday.
l'm kind of pushy on Wednesdays.
Fridays, not so pushy.
You' re trying to make me laugh, aren't you? l'm trying to figure out why you don't talk about your parents with the same wry sense of humour you seem to apply to every other topic.
Why? Because maybe then we'll get some real answers in here.
When was the last time you actually talked to them? My mom came down last Thanksgiving in a pathetic attempt to resuscitate our relationship.
And your father? l don't know.
l don't know.
lt's not like l ever really talk to him in the first place.
He just sort of-- He just kind of talks at you or through you or around you.
Try to remember, Jen.
-This is stupid.
-Pretend like it's not.
For me.
So you'll tell me why l should remember a ridiculous conversation that meant nothing at the time? Perhaps it did mean nothing at the time but it obviously means a great deal to you now.
You know what? l want to leave.
Do you? Or do you want to stay and find out why this is so hard for you? Bodie's gotta stop buying in bulk.
We've got 1 1 people coming over.
We got enough charcoal here to barbecue till Labour Day.
You want some help? Risk my bumbling superhero status? No, thanks.
Pace, look.
l know that we haven't really discussed us yet.
l'm still processing this whole college thing here.
lt's kind of weird to get your dream.
Don't l know it.
l say that every time l look at you.
You always do that, you change the subject.
Joey, we' re not talking about this today or anything negative today.
Because today is your day to celebrate this most amazing accomplishment that you have worked so hard for.
Okay.
l'm gonna go get a dolly before l give myself a hernia.
So l' ll see you inside.
You' re back.
lt looks like everyone R.
S.
V.
P.
'd.
-Jo, what's wrong? -l got the financial aid package.
-And how much is a full ride? -Wouldn't know.
According to this Worthington is happy to have me as long as my parents kick in $1 5,000.
$1 5,000? That can't be right.
We don't have that kind of money.
l know that.
l knew this was too good to be true.
lt's the universe's way of saying, ''Joey Potter, not so fast.
You' re not going anywhere.
'' We' re penalized because our family business is actually making money.
-lf it weren't, we would get more aid.
-Unfortunately, yes.
We turned a profit for the first time.
We didn't win the lottery.
But you made substantially more than your 1 999 return.
But we have more debt than we did in 1 999.
lt costs a lot to open a B and B.
How can they think we can afford $1 5,000 based on one year's income? l didn't say that the system was fair, Joey.
This is unbelievable.
l.
l should have applied for more scholarships, but it's too late now.
We talked about this before, Joey.
There are student loans.
Nearly everyone these days borrows to pay for college.
l don't wanna graduate and be $60,000 in debt.
l can't start off my life that way.
l won't.
lt doesn't make sense.
-l'll wait to hear from other schools.
-But this is your dream, Joey.
Bessie sometimes dreams don't always come true.
Thank you for your time.
The barbecue.
That's the last thing you need.
l' ll send everyone home.
No.
Look, you' re not sending them anywhere.
-Jo-- -And you' re not telling them anything.
l'm serious.
Not a word.
Hey, there, stranger.
l was starting to think you might miss your own party.
No such luck.
-Hey, Dawson.
-Hey, Bessie.
Why don't l take that from you? l'm going in anyway.
Oh, thanks.
-Where is everybody? -They're out back.
Gretchen got dragged into the whole New York debate.
l would've jumped in, but since New York didn't want me.
Joey, that was a self-deprecating aside.
You' re still doing it.
-Doing what? -Acting weird around me.
You have no reason to not be happy right now.
l know.
Pacey said there was a mix-up with Miss Watson? Oh, it was nothing.
lt was.
lt was great.
l'm gonna go in, see if they need help, and l' ll meet you guys out back.
Sure thing.
Hey.
How'd it go? lt was that good, huh? Bessie didn't tell you the cruel irony? This place is making too much money, so l'm screwed.
That's ridiculous.
There's gotta be something you can do about that.
There's nothing to be done except go out and celebrate this amazing accomplishment that l've worked so hard for.
-Hey, hold on a second, Jo.
-Why? There's nothing that you can say or do that can change what happened.
lt is what it is.
No one can change that.
-What are you gonna tell all of them? -Nothing.
Look, l don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, okay? Public transportation.
Come on, admit, that's a huge plus.
Spoken like someone who's never been groped on the subway before.
-l hate New York.
-Spoken like a very loyal girlfriend.
-This is unbeliev-- Hey.
-Hey.
-Guest of honour.
-Here, get a drink.
All right.
l'd like to propose a toast.
To Joey Potter.
May Worthington be worthy of her.
Cheers.
So you' re just in time to settle the debate.
No, l'm not getting in the middle of this.
l should have said that.
l'm gonna help Pacey, or the food will still be alive when he serves it.
Okay, all you have to do is tell him that New York sucks.
No, you cannot tell me that New York sucks.
Especially after telling me how great it is for two years.
lf l'm telling you now that it sucks, shouldn't you listen to me? You've grown insensitive post your college acceptance.
-lnsensitive to what? -To me and.
-And my-- My sensitivities.
-Sensitivities? -Are you guys catching this? -That's what l'm talking about making fun of me.
You never used to do that.
You never used to act like a lunatic either.
-This lunatic's getting a burger.
-You don't eat burgers.
l said l was gonna get it, not eat it.
You okay? With all this talk about college, l thought you might feel.
-Well.
-Well-done? Don't worry.
l'm very aware of the health hazards of cooking hamburgers.
-You' re not gonna fool me with that.
-With what? With that Pacey-ness.
l know you' re happy for her, but it makes you think about the future.
lt makes me think about her future.
l don't have to think about my future, because l don't have one.
You're the only one that believes that, and if you keep saying it, it' ll happen.
Have you thought about what to do? What do you want for the future? -What do you want for the future? -Sorry.
As your sister l reserve the right to play the l-asked-you-first card.
Hey, look.
You promise not to repeat what l'm about to say? Yeah.
Sure.
What is it? Joey's not going to Worthington.
They denied her financial aid package.
She's just too proud to tell anybody about it.
-That's awful.
-Yeah, and it gets worse, actually.
How can it? l think l'm happy about it.
Okay.
You wanna tell me what this is really about? l think we both know it's more than my alleged lack of sensitivity.
You know how when you moved in with me and Grams you didn't want to go home because there was nothing there for you? Yeah.
That's how l feel about New York.
l know you have problems with your parents, Jen but you wouldn't be living with them.
Don't let that stop you from going.
l don't know, l wish l could explain this to you but it doesn't make any sense.
l'm afraid to go, to go back there.
l thought you were gonna talk to Frost about this.
Yeah, he tried.
l just changed the subject to one of my other neuroses.
lt's therapy, the one place you' re not supposed to change the subject.
Then can l change it here? Please? lf you don't wanna go to New York, we don't have to go to New York.
-Jack.
-lt's more important to me that we go to school together.
And whatever this old wound of yours is, l mean don't let it stop us from going.
You've come too far for that.
Now, be a good little psychologically-damaged child go back to therapy and work this out.
See? lnsensitive.
Come on.
l'm kidding.
Hey, there you are.
-What's going on? -Joey, congratulations.
-Honey, we are so happy for you.
-Thank you.
And you l think you've been waiting for this.
lt came.
lt actually came.
-Aren't you gonna open it? -Yeah.
lt's.
lt's a fat envelope.
That paints a better picture than yesterday, right? l'm in.
-l'm in! -Congratulations.
l can't believe this is happening.
-lt's what you've always wanted.
-Come here.
-We are so proud of you, son.
-Wow.
Congratulations, Dawson.
l'm happy for you, man.
Where's Joey? You okay? Oh, yeah.
Congratulations.
Congratulations? Joey, you' re a wreck.
lt's nothing.
l'm fine.
Jo, whatever it is, you can tell me.
Dawson, we' re here to celebrate.
You got into USC.
lt's what you've always wanted.
And Worthington is what you wanted.
So, what's wrong? Did you not get in? Did you get wait-listed? l didn't get the money.
At least, l didn't get enough of it.
l got my financial aid package.
And even with grants and work study -they still want $1 5,000.
-Fifteen thousand? They think that's what Bessie can contribute, which she can't, so.
Joey, there's gotta be a way around this.
lt's just money.
You can't let it stop you from getting what you've worked for.
You make it sound like there's some easy answer.
There's gotta be.
There's not.
l spent hours doing research even before l applied.
And getting the financial aid was as important as me getting accepted.
lt didn't happen.
lt just didn't.
Worthington is what you want, right? -lt doesn't matter what l want.
-Yes or no? Yes.
Then l want you to have Mr.
Brooks' money.
Dawson, are you insane? l can't-- At least enough to get you to school.
l know it sounds crazy-- lt's beyond crazy.
l mean, l appreciate it, but.
Mr.
Brooks gave you that money for a reason-- Yeah, to do something great.
Giving it to you would be exactly that.
Look, l know you' re gonna say no, and that's fine.
But don't say no until you've at least considered the possibility.
Joey, this is your entire future we' re talking about.
Take a day, take longer, take whatever you need but just promise me that you will consider it.
There are no pictures of us in here.
Have to do something about that.
Yeah.
So l thought about it, Dawson.
l really did.
And what did you decide? -l'd never be able to pay you back.
-You wouldn't have to.
l would.
And l can't take that much money from you.
Even if it were hundreds instead of thousands, just.
-Even saying it makes it sound-- -Like it would ruin our friendship? -Yeah.
-Joey if our friendship can survive last summer, it can survive anything.
Not this.
l can't do this.
Joey, stop.
Wait.
l know how much going to this school means to you.
-Don't throw away this opportunity.
-Dawson, it's too much.
-Can't you understand that? -No.
l can't understand why you won't just let me help you, Jo.
We've always been there for each other.
-This is different.
-How? l've watched you go through so much pain in your life, l mean even before your mom got sick and your dad.
Don't do this.
-Don't feel sorry for me, Dawson.
-l don't.
That's not what this is about.
All the pain l've seen you go through, l've never been able to fix it before.
And this, l can fix.
-All l need you to do is let me.
-l can't.
-You don't even want to consider it? -l have.
Just let me say ''thank you'' and go.
Most people don't know it but therapy was designed to include a minimum of four sessions a week.
So, what do you want to talk about? l'm ready to talk about my dad.
And the last time l saw him.
This is gonna sound really stupid, but l.
l can't remember the last conversation that l had with him.
And l'm not sure why, but l feel like l'm gonna cry.
l know it's difficult, but the key is to keep talking about it.
lf l can't remember what happened, how can l talk about it? Why don't we try another approach? Was there someone else there who could tell you what happened? -Like my mom? -Yes.
Or your old boyfriend.
Did you spend time with someone else who could help fill in the blanks? Hey, man.
You just missed Gretchen.
Actually, it's you l wanted to talk to.
Okay.
Joey told you, right? About the money? Yep.
So, what do you think? l think $1 5,000 is a lot of money to give with no strings attached.
She deserves to go to Worthington.
You know that as well as anyone.
-She deserves more than.
-What? More than me? That's not what l said and it's not what l meant.
Pacey she's been fighting for a school like Worthington since the second we got into high school against enormous odds, against people who wrote her off simply because of her father.
And she did it.
l mean, she beat the odds.
She got in.
l can't stand to watch her lose it all over something as stupid as money.
And l don't think you can either.
Can you see her being happy anyplace else? No.
l can't.
Hey, there.
To what do l owe this displeasure? l need to talk to you, Captain A-hole.
Over here.
Well, this can't be a social call, since we've barely spoken in months.
Which, by the way, has been damaging to my ego.
God, you are gonna make this so hard.
l can't believe you and l actually used to be friends.
We were friends because we were a lot alike.
We both had an intense desire to feel nothing.
That's really nice.
Look, l gotta ask you a question.
And for once in your life, l need you to take me seriously.
Yeah.
l'll see what l can do.
What happened the last night that we were together in New York? You don't remember? You don't, do you? That's why l'm here.
Well, you invited me over because your horrible parents were sending you away.
We began at my place where we emptied out my pop's liquor cabinet.
Then picked up some good stuff in Washington Square Park before heading back to your deluxe apartment in the sky.
lf l remember correctly, we got particularly comfy on the sofa heard keys in the door, hid, and you continued to ravage me.
Quite mind-blowing, especially when your mom walked in and joined us.
You' re repulsive, you know that? -Why are you doing this? -Why are you? The past is past, Lindley.
Let it be.
l'd like to, all right? But l can't.
l just need to know what happened.
Tell me.
You know what? l haven't worked through it yet.
l thought that maybe, just once, you'd be able to help me out here.
-l guess l was wrong.
-Hey, it happens.
You could still sell a kidney.
This isn't a joke, Pacey.
l know that.
Well, l was thinking that l' ll stay here another year and then, you know, l can declare myself financially independent -and then reapply.
-No.
You' re not staying another year.
lt's just a year.
No, it's not.
l mean, it never is, especially not in a town like this.
The weeks become months.
Months become years.
The years become decades.
Pretty soon, you've lived a fraction of the life that you were meant to.
That's not gonna happen to you, Joey.
You don't want it to, l don't want it to and Dawson doesn't want it to either.
What do you want? -Can l come in? -No.
You' re not gonna make this easy for me, are you? l'm trying to apologize and tell you the truth, okay? The truth about what happened, since it means so much.
l'm listening.
The truth is, you were really wasted that day.
And when you brought me back to your place, l was shocked.
You told me what happened with Billy and how you guys got caught.
But you still brought me home.
We sat on the sofa, where you waited for me to clumsily make a move.
You knew l kind of liked you but you really didn't seem that into it.
Whatever.
We didn't get very far before your parents came home.
And my dad? Your dad.
Your dad was furious.
You guys started going at it.
He called you a slut.
You called him a hypocrite.
Just as it started getting interesting, he tossed my ass.
So that's it? You don't know what else we fought about? No, but you made it perfectly clear that it wasn't about us.
Nothing that night was about us.
l used you to provoke him, didn't l? God.
That's why you didn't want to talk about it.
No worries.
l just figured you were a lesbian or something.
l wish.
Drue, l'm sorry.
l'm sorry l used you.
Apology accepted.
How long have you been standing there? Not long.
From the look on your face, l take it Pacey couldn't convince you? Dawson, l have to tell you something, and l don't know if l can.
No, please.
Don't make this harder.
Make what harder? Telling you the truth.
The night that l ran into you at the movies l was trying to make sense of things too.
And when you asked me that very personal question you were right.
l slept with Pacey over the ski trip.
l wanted to tell you the truth, Dawson, but after all the time we spent together just walking and talking, l mean.
lt was just like things were right between us again.
lt was better than l ever thought it ever could be.
So when you asked me that question.
l don't know, l thought that you wouldn't understand.
So you never gave me a chance to understand? l know l should have told you the truth, Dawson.
l know it wasn't fair of me to let you go on thinking things were still the same-- That l was the most important person in your life.
All l can say is l never wanted to hurt you.
l guess l should go.
And so that's it.
l mean, after all my talking and sleuthing and crying all l remember is the last time l saw my father, we had a big fight.
Which, given our history, is as obvious as it is predictable.
And l still don't even know what we were fighting about.
Was it just because l was being sent away? You' re not ready to find out.
When you' re ready, it'll come to you.
These things take time, Jen.
What happens when l do remember? l mean, if l remember? What do you think happens? l' ll have yet another specific reason to hate my parents.
Do you think you' re here to accumulate reasons to hate them? -No.
-So? So l'm -here to stop hating them? -Closer.
l don't know.
Doc, give me a break.
One of us in this room has a degree in this.
You' re here to stop hating yourself.
See, when you act out at the age that you did when you have sex in your parents' bed at 1 2 years old when you abuse liquor and drugs before you're old enough to drive yes, you' re doing it as a cry for love you're doing it because something robbed you of your childhood in a way you' ll be angry about for a long time.
But the reason you keep acting out the reason you've stayed on a self-destructive path is not because you blame your father for what happened.
lt's because you blame yourself.
That's why you don't wanna remember.
lf you don't you' ll keep telling yourself that whatever happened is your fault.
And you' ll keep acting out and robbing yourself of life's great moments until you prove yourself right.
But you' re wrong.
Jennifer, you are a beautiful, innocent young woman who's meant to shine in this world in ways you can't even begin to fathom.
And l'm here to help you see that.
So can l keep coming, like, four times a week? So are we going to Worthington? No.
But you did go and talk to Dawson? Yeah.
l had to tell him something that l should have told him a long time ago, Pace.
Something about us? Something about us and sex? l don't know why l lied, Pace.
But l did.
lt's okay.
You told him the truth now.
That's what's important.
And as long as we' re being honest there's something else that l probably ought to offer up.
What's that? As happy as l was for you when l knew you were going to Worthington l think that l was just as happy when l found out that you weren't.
lt's not that l don't want you to go off and realize your dreams, Joey because l do, but for the first time l felt like it wasn't me that was holding you back from them.
Pacey, you've never held me back.
You have to stop thinking like that.
l could stop thinking like that if you'd just promise me one thing that if the day ever comes and it may come much sooner than either of us thinks but if that day comes when you do feel l'm holding you back just promise me that you'd cut me loose, yeah? -Pacey.
-Promise me that.
l won't promise you that.
You' re asking me to promise to let you go.
l can't do that.
Exactly what is it we' re doing again? l told you.
A memory exercise.
-And why are we doing this? -My shrink recommended it.
lt's kind of like self-hypnosis.
Supposedly, if you stare at the fish for a half-hour, it helps you remember.
lt's my hope that, by staring at this fish it' ll help me recall why l'm so angry at my father thus allowing me to forgive both he and myself and enabling us to go to school in New York -if that's where we desire to attend.
-l see.
Not for nothing, Jen but since you started seeing this psychologist l'm starting to think that you may in fact be crazy.
Jack, do you wanna go to school in New York? -Yeah.
-Shut up.
Watch the fish.
Dawson? -Hey.
-Hey.
Bessie told me l could wait out here.
l hope it's okay.
Yeah, l'm just a little surprised, considering.
l think you underestimate me.
l think we underestimate each other.
What l'm trying to say, Joey, is that what you felt at the theatre that something was finally right between us l felt that too.
And nothing will ever change that.
Not going to school far apart not meeting people who we' re meant to love forever, nothing.
l want you to have this.
But Dawson.
l don't know how l feel about you sleeping with Pacey.
l don't know how l' ll feel tomorrow or next week or next year but l'm absolutely certain that giving you this is the right thing to do.
Because l'm certain about us.
And what we mean to each other.
And l think you are too.
Thank you.
You' ll have some of the best years of your life at Worthington.
And l wanna hear all about them.
l aim to please.
Thanks.
Wow.
-These all the colleges you got into? -All the colleges Jack and l got into.
Now we have to narrow down the choices.
-There are, like, five colleges there.
-He's good at the application process.
Which means he can always resort to a career in civil service or education.
How about you? You hear anything? No, which means l can always resort to a career in waitressing.
-Hardly.
-Joey.
Something tells me you' re wrong.
Something tells me it's a sign.
-You think? -ls there another reason to pull the respectable Dawson Leery out of class? l think not.
Hey, that's a coincidence.
Hopefully a good one.
l' ll be glad when April's over.
Parents should let you kids open your own college mail instead of torturing you over the phone.
Dial nine to get out.
Well, l guess this is it, another life-altering moment.
Good luck.
Same to you.
Mom, hey.
Yeah, that's why l called.
-NYU Film? Open it.
-Hey, Bessie.
No, l'm glad you called.
lt finally came.
l don't think l can wait till l get home.
-Do you think you can read it to me? -Read that again.
l didn't understand.
No, it doesn't.
lt really says that? Oh, my God! Yeah.
No, l heard.
Yeah.
l understand.
All right.
Gotta go.
-You sure there's nothing l can do? -Stop it.
l'm okay.
lf the circumstances were reversed, l know how l'd feel.
Yeah.
You'd be happy for me, like l am for you.
Hey, what's up, campers? Okay.
We've got some weird chi going on here.
l'll let her give you the good news.
Promise me you' ll celebrate.
So, what's the good news? We both just called home, and while he found out he got rejected by NYU l found out that l got accepted to Worthington.
Worthington! Oh, you got in! Congratulations, sweetheart.
That is fantastic news.
Be happy.
You heard the man.
You've got nothing to feel guilty about.
Well, it's just so surreal.
l mean, stuff like this doesn't happen to me.
Come on.
Where are we going? We still have sixth period.
With all due respect to history class, today is about the future.
Your future.
You're not gonna believe that letter till you see it.
Pacey, l can't just cut class.
What, you' re not gonna get into college? Please.
No.
No, no, no.
l'm not watching that video again, Jen.
lt's too handheld.
lt's gonna make me hurl.
But l do like the one with the queen professor -talking about the Statue of Liberty.
-You laughed through it.
-Jack, come on, be serious.
-All right.
We've got a lot of schools to cover and we need to make an informed decision here.
Okay, why don't we do this systematically? Why are we wasting our time on this? We both know there's only one choice: The University of New York.
lt's a great school.
You say New York is the only city worth living in.
So, please, can't we just do this? Well, what would you say if l said that l.
That l wasn't so sure anymore? l'd say someone needs to deal with her issues.
Twenty pounds of chicken, fresh rosemary.
-Honey, orange juice, ginger-- -Bodie, slow down.
You talk too fast.
What are you guys doing? Jo, l am so proud of you.
And Mom would be too.
Do l get a hug from the college girl? What are you doing home so early? She's having a bit of trouble with the believing part.
-Do you have a certain letter handy? -l think l can dig that up.
So did we interrupt something? Only the barbecue we' re planning for tomorrow to celebrate the first Potter to get into college.
-Could l be more excited than you? -Not possible.
Okay, then.
So who do you want to invite? You' re really serious? lt's not every day a Potter gets accepted to one of the most prestigious colleges, or any college, for that matter.
Well, what are you waiting for? Well, Bessie already read it to me.
l know what it says already.
l don't know why l'm so nervous.
You' re nervous because this makes it real.
''Dear Josephine Potter congratulations.
Worthington College is pleased to offer you admittance for the fall semester of 2001 .
'' l got it.
l got it.
You shouldn't run around answering doors in your condition.
Relax.
Go knit something.
And stop giving me the pitying-mom look like the worst thing in the world just happened to me.
l wish l could do something to take the sting off the disappointment.
Mom, l'm fine.
Really.
-Hey.
-Hey.
-Hi, Gale.
-Hi.
l'm glad you two are going out.
He needs to get his mind off-- Mom.
Stop it.
You' re killing me here.
Okay.
So how you holding up? Honestly.
Truth? lt sucks.
Absolutely sucks.
lf NYU doesn't want me, USC definitely won't want me.
-Where does that leave me? -Well, no.
First of all, NYU has no bearing on USC.
Remember that.
And secondly, l'd like to point out that a certain A.
l.
Brooks didn't go to film school.
He preferred life as a teacher.
You're saying l could use the money he gave me -to make my own movies? -Why not? l mean, film school doesn't have to be the be-all, end-all.
What? Ten minutes ago, l was feeling completely lost.
Jack and Jen got in everywhere, Jo got into Worthington.
All l wanted to do was wallow but then somebody reminded me that the world is full of possibilities.
You and that couch have always gotten along well in the past.
-You wanna talk about it? -l'm having a problem with Jack.
We wanna go to the same college or at least be in the same city help each other through freshman angst.
Sounds like a plan.
A support system's good especially in foreign surroundings.
That's the point.
lt wouldn't be foreign if we go where he wants to go.
Which is where? New York City.
Which brings us back to your least favourite topic.
-My parents.
-Why do you think, Jen that they keep finding their way into this room? That sounds like a question you already know the answer to.
-l think you do also.
-You know, you' re very pushy today.
lt's Wednesday.
l'm kind of pushy on Wednesdays.
Fridays, not so pushy.
You' re trying to make me laugh, aren't you? l'm trying to figure out why you don't talk about your parents with the same wry sense of humour you seem to apply to every other topic.
Why? Because maybe then we'll get some real answers in here.
When was the last time you actually talked to them? My mom came down last Thanksgiving in a pathetic attempt to resuscitate our relationship.
And your father? l don't know.
l don't know.
lt's not like l ever really talk to him in the first place.
He just sort of-- He just kind of talks at you or through you or around you.
Try to remember, Jen.
-This is stupid.
-Pretend like it's not.
For me.
So you'll tell me why l should remember a ridiculous conversation that meant nothing at the time? Perhaps it did mean nothing at the time but it obviously means a great deal to you now.
You know what? l want to leave.
Do you? Or do you want to stay and find out why this is so hard for you? Bodie's gotta stop buying in bulk.
We've got 1 1 people coming over.
We got enough charcoal here to barbecue till Labour Day.
You want some help? Risk my bumbling superhero status? No, thanks.
Pace, look.
l know that we haven't really discussed us yet.
l'm still processing this whole college thing here.
lt's kind of weird to get your dream.
Don't l know it.
l say that every time l look at you.
You always do that, you change the subject.
Joey, we' re not talking about this today or anything negative today.
Because today is your day to celebrate this most amazing accomplishment that you have worked so hard for.
Okay.
l'm gonna go get a dolly before l give myself a hernia.
So l' ll see you inside.
You' re back.
lt looks like everyone R.
S.
V.
P.
'd.
-Jo, what's wrong? -l got the financial aid package.
-And how much is a full ride? -Wouldn't know.
According to this Worthington is happy to have me as long as my parents kick in $1 5,000.
$1 5,000? That can't be right.
We don't have that kind of money.
l know that.
l knew this was too good to be true.
lt's the universe's way of saying, ''Joey Potter, not so fast.
You' re not going anywhere.
'' We' re penalized because our family business is actually making money.
-lf it weren't, we would get more aid.
-Unfortunately, yes.
We turned a profit for the first time.
We didn't win the lottery.
But you made substantially more than your 1 999 return.
But we have more debt than we did in 1 999.
lt costs a lot to open a B and B.
How can they think we can afford $1 5,000 based on one year's income? l didn't say that the system was fair, Joey.
This is unbelievable.
l.
l should have applied for more scholarships, but it's too late now.
We talked about this before, Joey.
There are student loans.
Nearly everyone these days borrows to pay for college.
l don't wanna graduate and be $60,000 in debt.
l can't start off my life that way.
l won't.
lt doesn't make sense.
-l'll wait to hear from other schools.
-But this is your dream, Joey.
Bessie sometimes dreams don't always come true.
Thank you for your time.
The barbecue.
That's the last thing you need.
l' ll send everyone home.
No.
Look, you' re not sending them anywhere.
-Jo-- -And you' re not telling them anything.
l'm serious.
Not a word.
Hey, there, stranger.
l was starting to think you might miss your own party.
No such luck.
-Hey, Dawson.
-Hey, Bessie.
Why don't l take that from you? l'm going in anyway.
Oh, thanks.
-Where is everybody? -They're out back.
Gretchen got dragged into the whole New York debate.
l would've jumped in, but since New York didn't want me.
Joey, that was a self-deprecating aside.
You' re still doing it.
-Doing what? -Acting weird around me.
You have no reason to not be happy right now.
l know.
Pacey said there was a mix-up with Miss Watson? Oh, it was nothing.
lt was.
lt was great.
l'm gonna go in, see if they need help, and l' ll meet you guys out back.
Sure thing.
Hey.
How'd it go? lt was that good, huh? Bessie didn't tell you the cruel irony? This place is making too much money, so l'm screwed.
That's ridiculous.
There's gotta be something you can do about that.
There's nothing to be done except go out and celebrate this amazing accomplishment that l've worked so hard for.
-Hey, hold on a second, Jo.
-Why? There's nothing that you can say or do that can change what happened.
lt is what it is.
No one can change that.
-What are you gonna tell all of them? -Nothing.
Look, l don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, okay? Public transportation.
Come on, admit, that's a huge plus.
Spoken like someone who's never been groped on the subway before.
-l hate New York.
-Spoken like a very loyal girlfriend.
-This is unbeliev-- Hey.
-Hey.
-Guest of honour.
-Here, get a drink.
All right.
l'd like to propose a toast.
To Joey Potter.
May Worthington be worthy of her.
Cheers.
So you' re just in time to settle the debate.
No, l'm not getting in the middle of this.
l should have said that.
l'm gonna help Pacey, or the food will still be alive when he serves it.
Okay, all you have to do is tell him that New York sucks.
No, you cannot tell me that New York sucks.
Especially after telling me how great it is for two years.
lf l'm telling you now that it sucks, shouldn't you listen to me? You've grown insensitive post your college acceptance.
-lnsensitive to what? -To me and.
-And my-- My sensitivities.
-Sensitivities? -Are you guys catching this? -That's what l'm talking about making fun of me.
You never used to do that.
You never used to act like a lunatic either.
-This lunatic's getting a burger.
-You don't eat burgers.
l said l was gonna get it, not eat it.
You okay? With all this talk about college, l thought you might feel.
-Well.
-Well-done? Don't worry.
l'm very aware of the health hazards of cooking hamburgers.
-You' re not gonna fool me with that.
-With what? With that Pacey-ness.
l know you' re happy for her, but it makes you think about the future.
lt makes me think about her future.
l don't have to think about my future, because l don't have one.
You're the only one that believes that, and if you keep saying it, it' ll happen.
Have you thought about what to do? What do you want for the future? -What do you want for the future? -Sorry.
As your sister l reserve the right to play the l-asked-you-first card.
Hey, look.
You promise not to repeat what l'm about to say? Yeah.
Sure.
What is it? Joey's not going to Worthington.
They denied her financial aid package.
She's just too proud to tell anybody about it.
-That's awful.
-Yeah, and it gets worse, actually.
How can it? l think l'm happy about it.
Okay.
You wanna tell me what this is really about? l think we both know it's more than my alleged lack of sensitivity.
You know how when you moved in with me and Grams you didn't want to go home because there was nothing there for you? Yeah.
That's how l feel about New York.
l know you have problems with your parents, Jen but you wouldn't be living with them.
Don't let that stop you from going.
l don't know, l wish l could explain this to you but it doesn't make any sense.
l'm afraid to go, to go back there.
l thought you were gonna talk to Frost about this.
Yeah, he tried.
l just changed the subject to one of my other neuroses.
lt's therapy, the one place you' re not supposed to change the subject.
Then can l change it here? Please? lf you don't wanna go to New York, we don't have to go to New York.
-Jack.
-lt's more important to me that we go to school together.
And whatever this old wound of yours is, l mean don't let it stop us from going.
You've come too far for that.
Now, be a good little psychologically-damaged child go back to therapy and work this out.
See? lnsensitive.
Come on.
l'm kidding.
Hey, there you are.
-What's going on? -Joey, congratulations.
-Honey, we are so happy for you.
-Thank you.
And you l think you've been waiting for this.
lt came.
lt actually came.
-Aren't you gonna open it? -Yeah.
lt's.
lt's a fat envelope.
That paints a better picture than yesterday, right? l'm in.
-l'm in! -Congratulations.
l can't believe this is happening.
-lt's what you've always wanted.
-Come here.
-We are so proud of you, son.
-Wow.
Congratulations, Dawson.
l'm happy for you, man.
Where's Joey? You okay? Oh, yeah.
Congratulations.
Congratulations? Joey, you' re a wreck.
lt's nothing.
l'm fine.
Jo, whatever it is, you can tell me.
Dawson, we' re here to celebrate.
You got into USC.
lt's what you've always wanted.
And Worthington is what you wanted.
So, what's wrong? Did you not get in? Did you get wait-listed? l didn't get the money.
At least, l didn't get enough of it.
l got my financial aid package.
And even with grants and work study -they still want $1 5,000.
-Fifteen thousand? They think that's what Bessie can contribute, which she can't, so.
Joey, there's gotta be a way around this.
lt's just money.
You can't let it stop you from getting what you've worked for.
You make it sound like there's some easy answer.
There's gotta be.
There's not.
l spent hours doing research even before l applied.
And getting the financial aid was as important as me getting accepted.
lt didn't happen.
lt just didn't.
Worthington is what you want, right? -lt doesn't matter what l want.
-Yes or no? Yes.
Then l want you to have Mr.
Brooks' money.
Dawson, are you insane? l can't-- At least enough to get you to school.
l know it sounds crazy-- lt's beyond crazy.
l mean, l appreciate it, but.
Mr.
Brooks gave you that money for a reason-- Yeah, to do something great.
Giving it to you would be exactly that.
Look, l know you' re gonna say no, and that's fine.
But don't say no until you've at least considered the possibility.
Joey, this is your entire future we' re talking about.
Take a day, take longer, take whatever you need but just promise me that you will consider it.
There are no pictures of us in here.
Have to do something about that.
Yeah.
So l thought about it, Dawson.
l really did.
And what did you decide? -l'd never be able to pay you back.
-You wouldn't have to.
l would.
And l can't take that much money from you.
Even if it were hundreds instead of thousands, just.
-Even saying it makes it sound-- -Like it would ruin our friendship? -Yeah.
-Joey if our friendship can survive last summer, it can survive anything.
Not this.
l can't do this.
Joey, stop.
Wait.
l know how much going to this school means to you.
-Don't throw away this opportunity.
-Dawson, it's too much.
-Can't you understand that? -No.
l can't understand why you won't just let me help you, Jo.
We've always been there for each other.
-This is different.
-How? l've watched you go through so much pain in your life, l mean even before your mom got sick and your dad.
Don't do this.
-Don't feel sorry for me, Dawson.
-l don't.
That's not what this is about.
All the pain l've seen you go through, l've never been able to fix it before.
And this, l can fix.
-All l need you to do is let me.
-l can't.
-You don't even want to consider it? -l have.
Just let me say ''thank you'' and go.
Most people don't know it but therapy was designed to include a minimum of four sessions a week.
So, what do you want to talk about? l'm ready to talk about my dad.
And the last time l saw him.
This is gonna sound really stupid, but l.
l can't remember the last conversation that l had with him.
And l'm not sure why, but l feel like l'm gonna cry.
l know it's difficult, but the key is to keep talking about it.
lf l can't remember what happened, how can l talk about it? Why don't we try another approach? Was there someone else there who could tell you what happened? -Like my mom? -Yes.
Or your old boyfriend.
Did you spend time with someone else who could help fill in the blanks? Hey, man.
You just missed Gretchen.
Actually, it's you l wanted to talk to.
Okay.
Joey told you, right? About the money? Yep.
So, what do you think? l think $1 5,000 is a lot of money to give with no strings attached.
She deserves to go to Worthington.
You know that as well as anyone.
-She deserves more than.
-What? More than me? That's not what l said and it's not what l meant.
Pacey she's been fighting for a school like Worthington since the second we got into high school against enormous odds, against people who wrote her off simply because of her father.
And she did it.
l mean, she beat the odds.
She got in.
l can't stand to watch her lose it all over something as stupid as money.
And l don't think you can either.
Can you see her being happy anyplace else? No.
l can't.
Hey, there.
To what do l owe this displeasure? l need to talk to you, Captain A-hole.
Over here.
Well, this can't be a social call, since we've barely spoken in months.
Which, by the way, has been damaging to my ego.
God, you are gonna make this so hard.
l can't believe you and l actually used to be friends.
We were friends because we were a lot alike.
We both had an intense desire to feel nothing.
That's really nice.
Look, l gotta ask you a question.
And for once in your life, l need you to take me seriously.
Yeah.
l'll see what l can do.
What happened the last night that we were together in New York? You don't remember? You don't, do you? That's why l'm here.
Well, you invited me over because your horrible parents were sending you away.
We began at my place where we emptied out my pop's liquor cabinet.
Then picked up some good stuff in Washington Square Park before heading back to your deluxe apartment in the sky.
lf l remember correctly, we got particularly comfy on the sofa heard keys in the door, hid, and you continued to ravage me.
Quite mind-blowing, especially when your mom walked in and joined us.
You' re repulsive, you know that? -Why are you doing this? -Why are you? The past is past, Lindley.
Let it be.
l'd like to, all right? But l can't.
l just need to know what happened.
Tell me.
You know what? l haven't worked through it yet.
l thought that maybe, just once, you'd be able to help me out here.
-l guess l was wrong.
-Hey, it happens.
You could still sell a kidney.
This isn't a joke, Pacey.
l know that.
Well, l was thinking that l' ll stay here another year and then, you know, l can declare myself financially independent -and then reapply.
-No.
You' re not staying another year.
lt's just a year.
No, it's not.
l mean, it never is, especially not in a town like this.
The weeks become months.
Months become years.
The years become decades.
Pretty soon, you've lived a fraction of the life that you were meant to.
That's not gonna happen to you, Joey.
You don't want it to, l don't want it to and Dawson doesn't want it to either.
What do you want? -Can l come in? -No.
You' re not gonna make this easy for me, are you? l'm trying to apologize and tell you the truth, okay? The truth about what happened, since it means so much.
l'm listening.
The truth is, you were really wasted that day.
And when you brought me back to your place, l was shocked.
You told me what happened with Billy and how you guys got caught.
But you still brought me home.
We sat on the sofa, where you waited for me to clumsily make a move.
You knew l kind of liked you but you really didn't seem that into it.
Whatever.
We didn't get very far before your parents came home.
And my dad? Your dad.
Your dad was furious.
You guys started going at it.
He called you a slut.
You called him a hypocrite.
Just as it started getting interesting, he tossed my ass.
So that's it? You don't know what else we fought about? No, but you made it perfectly clear that it wasn't about us.
Nothing that night was about us.
l used you to provoke him, didn't l? God.
That's why you didn't want to talk about it.
No worries.
l just figured you were a lesbian or something.
l wish.
Drue, l'm sorry.
l'm sorry l used you.
Apology accepted.
How long have you been standing there? Not long.
From the look on your face, l take it Pacey couldn't convince you? Dawson, l have to tell you something, and l don't know if l can.
No, please.
Don't make this harder.
Make what harder? Telling you the truth.
The night that l ran into you at the movies l was trying to make sense of things too.
And when you asked me that very personal question you were right.
l slept with Pacey over the ski trip.
l wanted to tell you the truth, Dawson, but after all the time we spent together just walking and talking, l mean.
lt was just like things were right between us again.
lt was better than l ever thought it ever could be.
So when you asked me that question.
l don't know, l thought that you wouldn't understand.
So you never gave me a chance to understand? l know l should have told you the truth, Dawson.
l know it wasn't fair of me to let you go on thinking things were still the same-- That l was the most important person in your life.
All l can say is l never wanted to hurt you.
l guess l should go.
And so that's it.
l mean, after all my talking and sleuthing and crying all l remember is the last time l saw my father, we had a big fight.
Which, given our history, is as obvious as it is predictable.
And l still don't even know what we were fighting about.
Was it just because l was being sent away? You' re not ready to find out.
When you' re ready, it'll come to you.
These things take time, Jen.
What happens when l do remember? l mean, if l remember? What do you think happens? l' ll have yet another specific reason to hate my parents.
Do you think you' re here to accumulate reasons to hate them? -No.
-So? So l'm -here to stop hating them? -Closer.
l don't know.
Doc, give me a break.
One of us in this room has a degree in this.
You' re here to stop hating yourself.
See, when you act out at the age that you did when you have sex in your parents' bed at 1 2 years old when you abuse liquor and drugs before you're old enough to drive yes, you' re doing it as a cry for love you're doing it because something robbed you of your childhood in a way you' ll be angry about for a long time.
But the reason you keep acting out the reason you've stayed on a self-destructive path is not because you blame your father for what happened.
lt's because you blame yourself.
That's why you don't wanna remember.
lf you don't you' ll keep telling yourself that whatever happened is your fault.
And you' ll keep acting out and robbing yourself of life's great moments until you prove yourself right.
But you' re wrong.
Jennifer, you are a beautiful, innocent young woman who's meant to shine in this world in ways you can't even begin to fathom.
And l'm here to help you see that.
So can l keep coming, like, four times a week? So are we going to Worthington? No.
But you did go and talk to Dawson? Yeah.
l had to tell him something that l should have told him a long time ago, Pace.
Something about us? Something about us and sex? l don't know why l lied, Pace.
But l did.
lt's okay.
You told him the truth now.
That's what's important.
And as long as we' re being honest there's something else that l probably ought to offer up.
What's that? As happy as l was for you when l knew you were going to Worthington l think that l was just as happy when l found out that you weren't.
lt's not that l don't want you to go off and realize your dreams, Joey because l do, but for the first time l felt like it wasn't me that was holding you back from them.
Pacey, you've never held me back.
You have to stop thinking like that.
l could stop thinking like that if you'd just promise me one thing that if the day ever comes and it may come much sooner than either of us thinks but if that day comes when you do feel l'm holding you back just promise me that you'd cut me loose, yeah? -Pacey.
-Promise me that.
l won't promise you that.
You' re asking me to promise to let you go.
l can't do that.
Exactly what is it we' re doing again? l told you.
A memory exercise.
-And why are we doing this? -My shrink recommended it.
lt's kind of like self-hypnosis.
Supposedly, if you stare at the fish for a half-hour, it helps you remember.
lt's my hope that, by staring at this fish it' ll help me recall why l'm so angry at my father thus allowing me to forgive both he and myself and enabling us to go to school in New York -if that's where we desire to attend.
-l see.
Not for nothing, Jen but since you started seeing this psychologist l'm starting to think that you may in fact be crazy.
Jack, do you wanna go to school in New York? -Yeah.
-Shut up.
Watch the fish.
Dawson? -Hey.
-Hey.
Bessie told me l could wait out here.
l hope it's okay.
Yeah, l'm just a little surprised, considering.
l think you underestimate me.
l think we underestimate each other.
What l'm trying to say, Joey, is that what you felt at the theatre that something was finally right between us l felt that too.
And nothing will ever change that.
Not going to school far apart not meeting people who we' re meant to love forever, nothing.
l want you to have this.
But Dawson.
l don't know how l feel about you sleeping with Pacey.
l don't know how l' ll feel tomorrow or next week or next year but l'm absolutely certain that giving you this is the right thing to do.
Because l'm certain about us.
And what we mean to each other.
And l think you are too.
Thank you.
You' ll have some of the best years of your life at Worthington.
And l wanna hear all about them.