Dawson's Creek s06e18 Episode Script

Love Bites

Eddie, what the hell are you doing here? Right, so- What happened to California? Well, it's still there.
You know, I just kind of left for a while.
- And what happened to school? - Again, still there.
Still standing without me and everything.
It's hard to believe, I know.
Look, I start in the fall.
Everything worked out, Jo.
Everything, Jo.
I mean, I had this interview, right? And I didn't stutter or stumble or throw up or anything, and they loved my writing, which is just totally, like, surreal, because no one has ever loved anything I've done except for you.
Which is why I'm here.
I wanted to say thank you because you knew I could do it, and I had no idea.
But you know, Jo, it's not just because I didn't think I could do it it's because I didn't see the world that way.
You know? It's a place where people get second and third and fourth chances to make something of themselves.
Or as a place where You can be a coward and hurt someone.
Hey.
But they still have the decency to see the decency in you.
And, Joey you are the most decent person I know and you have incredible eyes and the sexiest voice, and a smile that breaks my heart and if I'm gonna be a writer I need someone like that around.
I need you around.
What do you say? No.
No.
Well, that's not the answer that I'm looking for, really.
Eddie, you walked away.
I came back.
I moved on.
Okay that's how you feel, then Okay, I understand.
I do.
I guess I'll be seeing you, Joey.
Sorry.
Brutal.
Do not let your enemies have access to this closet.
Tell me this was purchased for some Halloween Church Lady costume.
It looks much better on.
Keep telling yourself that, Sweetie.
Perhaps you'd like to focus on the task at hand so you can hurry up and go and leave me to my work.
If you're gonna be chaperoning my semi-formal need you to wear something that's moderately hip so I don't look like a freak associating with you.
Not like sultry, older woman sexy.
What am I saying? I'd never find anything like that in this closet.
Did I actually agree to this? Oh, that's Audrey's but I could borrow it.
No way.
You need to look good, but not too good.
The men of Milton are weak of constitution and highly susceptible to the wiles of an older woman.
So seeing as it's my night, and my fair-weather jack-of-no-trades boyfriend Patrick is going to be there and he has some sort of unholy attachment to you we're gonna keep your wiles covered under this lovely subdued dress.
What is this, rayon? It's silk.
.
blend.
It's perfect.
Not too perfect.
Harley, look I swear to keep my Mrs.
Robinson claws off your boyfriend.
But can you go? I have a lot of work to do.
Yeah, but do you think I should go pasties or strapless? Neither.
I'm considering investing in a chastity belt for you.
Pushing your buttons, Potter.
- Out.
- I'm out.
I look ridiculous.
No, you don't.
You look beautiful and glowing and definitely like you just partook of your boyfriend.
Great.
And all the more beautiful for it.
You Lindley women are something else.
You know, Grams broke Uncle Bill's heart.
The man is a shell of himself, can't watch Wheel of Fortune because Vanna reminds him of his devastation.
My Grams, the black widow.
Who knew? All right.
I should go.
No, you shouldn't.
No.
You're the one who made me get out of bed.
I know, but I'm woman enough to admit when I've made a mistake.
Yeah, you should go.
- Oh, God, you gotta go.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, well.
Look, I'll see what I can find out about Grams.
Okay.
I'll call you later.
- Okay, later.
- Okay, bye.
Bye.
- Hello? - Hi.
Is this Potter's House of Pain? This is Mistress Joey speaking.
I'm glad I caught you.
I thought you might have gone out of business.
I was expecting you last night.
Yeah, I You know I finished up at the bar, and I was just exhausted and no energy left for the naughty stockbrokers.
That's okay.
I understand.
I was kind of tuckered out myself.
Look, here's what I'm thinking.
Last night, we were very old people.
But tonight, let's at least pretend like we're young people go out late, stumble home very late.
What do you say? I have plans.
- No.
- Yeah.
I promised Harley I'd do her a favor.
What exactly does Rosemary's baby want? She wants me to chaperone the Milton semi-formal.
Would that involve you being in a dress? - And heels? - Possibly.
Well, okay.
Consider my arm twisted.
I'll be there.
What? I mean, really? It's - it's a Friday night.
Are you sure? - I'm sure as rain.
Great.
Meet me here at 6.
I'll see you there.
Shoes shined and suit pressed.
Pacey Witter.
Dawson, hi.
Welcome to the dream machine, my friend.
Can you smell the money growing? If it smells like Drakkar Noir, then yeah, bigtime.
What are you doing here? - What's this? - It's all the money I saved working with Todd.
I need you to make it grow.
You need to slow down for just a second- Could you transform that into a budget for an indie film coming of age story, no special effects, although I might need a slumming A list actor looking for industry cred.
You up for it? Would you mind stepping into my office? Sure.
You know that thing that I told you I could do for you? Yeah.
I was actually kind of kidding.
But that's what you do for a living, right? Invest money for other people? Technically, yes.
- Why are we whispering? - Because if the guys ever heard me turning down investment money based on moral reasons - I would be professionally castrated.
- What moral reasons? I haven't exactly hammered out my mixing-friends-and-business policy yet.
Pace, we don't have to worry about it getting awkward.
We've certainly been through awkward, but never " I'm broke, it's your fault.
" I'm not worried.
I know this sounds disgustingly L.
A.
of me but this whole project just has a really good vibe.
Because I'm your friend I'm never gonna tell anybody that you just used the word "vibe.
" I'm serious, man.
I just I made a decision to trust my instincts, and ever since I did everything's been falling into place.
I wrote 20 pages last night.
I could barely type fast enough to keep up with the ideas that were coming, and I can't wait to go home and write more.
I mean, honestly, the only thing holding all this up right now is you.
Grams, Grams, Grams, we gotta chat.
Why'd you drop the hammer on Uncle Bill? The man is distraught.
Well, apparently, he has sworn off women for life.
Of course, if we're speaking frankly, I don't know how long - that could actually be.
- Jennifer.
You know what's funny, though, is that, well I'm embarking on a somewhat functional possibly even fully committed relationship.
You, two generations my senior, are behaving like a fickle teenager.
You are breaking hearts left and right.
I most certainly am not.
Okay.
Outburst.
Perhaps I should be slipping some St.
John's Wort into your Metamucil.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Oh, my lord.
You are way too hot to be a chaperone.
I think I'm living out one of my teenage fantasies right now.
Well, you look quite comely yourself.
Oh, this old thing? No.
Now, in order to make up for our last high school dance experience in which I did actually buy you a corsage but let it wilt to a lovely shade of brown.
I brought you options.
In box A we have the corsage for the fun loving and whimsical Joey a carved radish on a bed of baby carrots.
And then, option B for the classic and sophisticated Joey, roses on a bed of baby's breath which has a creepy name, but is a classic flower.
Well, in honor of the youth with whom we'll be sharing the dance floor I think I'm gonna go with option A, the veggies.
All right.
Veggies it is.
Cool.
And, in honor of the classy guy you are tonight- - Don't be fooled, it's just a costume.
- No, really.
You get a rose.
It's perfect.
Shall we? - This'll be fun.
- Yeah.
A flashback.
Nice night.
I just love the smell of Secret antiperspirant in the evening.
It had to be said.
This whole night bites already, and I haven't even gotten to the part where my friends swarm me, and shriek how much they love my dress.
You're not the first women in the history of semi-formals to accompany a non-dancing date.
Mr.
Witter over here was famously uncooperative when it came to the booty shake.
- Hey, I danced.
- Under duress.
He broke up with me at senior prom, so we never had the chance - to dance at our own prom.
- Okay.
Dirty laundry joke.
Let it go.
Had to be said.
This guy's obviously not of sound mind to hurt the feelings of a babe like you.
Harley.
- I love your dress! Cute! - Thanks.
A little too Aguilera for a school event, but maybe it's just me.
Just keep it down, all right? Your friend might think I'm attached.
- I hate you.
- Patrick perhaps you'd like to go over to the punch bowl and retrieve some drinks? I think she might wanna claw your eyes out.
Have you ever noticed how much that dress brings out your eyes? - No.
- Oh, well, it does.
You look so pretty, I bet if you and I were to step onto the dance floor you would be the most beautiful woman on it.
What? Oh, beverages.
I was wondering why I went over there.
You know, I should tell you that I happen to be personal friends with Woody Kulchak, who has snuck in a bottle of peach schnapps tonight.
So if you'd like this dance to be truly magical I could arrange for cocktails for two underneath the bleachers.
- Just give me the word.
- No.
Think about it, babe.
Hey, what's all this? Returning to my youth for inspiration.
Hey, have you seen my Hook poster? No, not recently.
Maybe you could check the attic.
So, now that you are revisiting 15 does that mean I have to start paying you an allowance again? I don't ever recall you giving me an allowance.
What are you gonna do for money? It's fairly inexpensive to live at home.
Hence the living at home.
Meaning that you don't plan to contribute to the household expenses.
Well, I absolutely can if you want me to.
I mean, I can get a part-time job or I'll babysit Lily, that way you don't have to pay somebody else to.
That's not what I'm getting at, Dawson.
- What are you getting at? - Well, what I'm wondering is how do you intend to make money in the long-term? - What's your plan? - All right.
The plan is write this movie, shoot it, finish it, send it off to festivals hopefully it'll be good enough to get picked up, distributed and will make enough money to finance my next project.
I mean what's your backup plan? If directing doesn't work? "If directing doesn't work?" Making a living as a film director is a one in a million chance.
Now, I know you don't wanna hear this, but you need to be practical.
Then I got bumped up to junior varsity when Cy Watson tore his Achilles.
Well, you probably heard that I was all-state last year because I'm a good outside shooter, and I can dunk, which is good for somebody my age, and I'm a good passer.
But I've always been really good.
I score 30 points a game.
What kind of school dance actually has a punch bowl? The schmancy private school dance.
I hope for the sake of all some intrepid student has spiked this punch, or else it loses its cliché value.
When do we get our picture taken in front of the tropical mural? That would be prom.
- Right.
Blocked prom out.
- As you should.
It wasn't exactly your finest hour.
Well, I was troubled back then.
You know, James Dean type.
You were a dumb-ass.
Was I at least a mysterious dumb-ass with smoldering sex appeal? Dumb-ass.
Okay, fine.
I can accept that because now I'm a happy dumb-ass.
I got a second chance.
- Pace, we should- - Okay, fine.
Patrick, let go of him! - Let go of him! - Why should I? You were dancing pelvis to pelvis like it was going out of style.
It was my only recourse after you failed me in every way! Jamie came to my aid.
Jamie is not your date.
I am.
In name only.
Did you do one date-like thing the entire night? This is date-like! Are you gonna do something? Oh, yeah.
Of course.
Of course.
It's just so funny.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Hey, break it up.
You win my honor by trying to give the guy a wedgy? It's called the Krav Maga, and J-Lo used it in Enough.
Hey, it's Patty-from-the-block.
You walked right into that one.
- Yeah, that wasn't even funny, buddy.
- Okay.
- Your girlfriend liked it.
- Oh, yeah? Look at me.
I look completely hideous.
No, you don't.
You look like a rock star.
Are you kidding? You have the whole smoky-eye look going.
Where's he-whose-name-shall-not-be-spoken? He's in the boy's bathroom with Pacey, getting cleaned up.
Sort of.
- Did he ask about me? - I was there briefly.
- Was he with other girls? - It was the boy's bathroom.
Which is where we had our first kiss.
Hello? I'm all for the grand romantic gesture, but instead of flailing around wildly why don't you just tell her you like her? If you still feel the need for throwing a punch pick an enemy your own size.
Like an opossum.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Like you're the Rock, or something.
Hey, hobbit, at least I can grow facial hair.
- What do you call this? - Lint.
Look at me.
I'm crying in the bathroom.
Thus carrying on an age-old tradition of women crying in the bathroom.
- I did it in high school.
- I don't wanna hurt your feelings but my high school experiences shouldn't be the same as yours or I'm doing something terribly, terribly wrong.
Sorry, kiddo but that's just how it goes with the high school dance.
You buy the dress, you mess with the hair you think your date is finally gonna say all the things you've been dying for him to say, and no.
You end up in the girl's bathroom crying.
- Look, you like Harley, right? - She has her strong points.
Okay.
I mean, as long as we're talking man to man yeah, I like her.
A lot.
Well, good.
Congratulations, man, because true feelings for a woman that's the best experience you're gonna have.
It'll make you strong it'll make you stupid, it will take you closer to being the man you wanna be.
What do boys have to suffer through? Thinking they're gonna have sex and being sorely disappointed.
- Well - Don't even think about it.
I know.
Relax.
Don't be afraid to be nice to her.
So, by nice to her, you mean I mean tell her you like her shoes.
Oh, and her- Tell her that you like her, idiot.
Hey.
- Don't push me.
- Oh, yeah? Let's see what's up.
So, you've honestly had a bad time at every dance you've gone to? Yeah.
Except this one.
This one was nice.
Well, I'm glad someone had a good time.
Hello? - Everything okay? - Yeah, fine.
Yeah, everything's good in here.
Just checking.
Yeah, I don't know why I should be taking advice from you.
Like you're some kind of Yoda when it comes to the chicks.
Have you seen my date? Tell me more, sensei.
- That was for you.
- Yes? The phone.
Yes? Dr.
Loomis' office calling to confirm your appointment tomorrow at 12:30.
Dr.
Loomis isn't your regular doctor.
How come I've never heard his name before? All right.
Something is going on with you and I demand to know what it is.
If you are looking for mystery or drama, you'd best search elsewhere.
I'm sorry.
I'm not going to let you keep this secret.
I've lived with you for five years, and every time I've tried to mope around the house, you've insisted I come clean for the common good.
So now it's your turn.
All right.
Dr.
Loomis is an oncologist.
I am seeing her because there is a malignant tumor in my breast.
I will be starting a round of radiation therapy next week because the growth has spread beyond the point where surgery would be effective.
- Are you talking about breast cancer? - Yes.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Would you be a dear? Go turn the oven down.
I don't want the crust to burn.
Jennifer, I told you what it is.
Now please just go.
Very well.
I'll do it myself.
Hey.
Yeah, I know.
Kids today, huh? - Damn rap music.
- And those baggy pants.
So even with the damage to my unsuspecting eardrum I did think that tonight was nice.
- Quite nice.
- Yes.
Quite.
Perfect.
It was- It's been a perfect night.
Pace? I can't do this.
You can't do what? Even when everything is perfect being with you doesn't feel right, and I'm sorry.
Look, everything tonight- I mean, tonight was lovely and fun and you've become this I mean, this amazing man, but it doesn't I'm sorry.
I don't I don't feel it and I can't do this with you.
Okay, Joey, just slow down for a second- No, Pace, it's- It's true and I'm sorry.
So what, you're scared.
Right? You're scared.
And so am I, believe me and I'm scared because I don't know where this thing is going, Jo.
As in, I think it could go anywhere.
This could be it.
It won't be.
How could you possibly know that? Last week you're onboard, and now you're psychically telling me that this could never be something great.
You can't possibly know that, because we don't know that, Joey.
And I'm sorry.
I know that this is such a horrible thing to say.
But how? How could you know? When did you make this decision, tonight? I thought tonight was great.
It was.
It was great.
So, then when? And don't tell me that you're not scared, because I know that you are.
I mean, I've known you too long and seen you push away too many good things to let you push me away right now.
My whole life, Joey, my whole life you have been the most beautiful thing in my orbit.
And my feelings for you were what proved to me that I could be great and those feelings were stronger and wiser and more persistent and more resilient than anything else about me.
- Pacey, stop.
- Jo- - Pacey.
- When I was afraid of everything I was never afraid to love you.
I could love you again.
I could.
Pacey, no.
Pacey, stop.
Eddie came back.
I'm sorry.
He came back last night.
- He came to the bar- - Oh, okay.
Look, I'm sorry- Hey, I brought you some coffee since you're burning the midnight oil and a turkey sandwich.
Protein.
Thanks, Mom.
Your early work.
You really are feeling nostalgic.
Well, I don't know.
In those days it wasn't just me alone in front of a computer screen I mean, I had people pitching in.
I had a whole support system.
So, how is your script coming? Great.
Great.
It's Well, actually, you know what? It's not so great right now.
Look, Mom, there's something I've got to tell you.
I don't have a back-up plan.
And I won't ever have one.
I'm going to be a director.
I don't want anything to fall back on.
There's nothing else that I want to do.
It's not always about what you want.
Life isn't what you thought it was going to be like when you were a kid.
I agree.
And you're right, being a director is a child's dream and that's how I know that it's real, because it's what I wanted to do before I knew how to be scared or cynical.
Okay, honey, what about college? At least go back, finish film school to make sure that you're committed to this thing.
If a year of fetching lattes and cajoling actresses out of their trailer to act didn't kill my desire to make movies, nothing will.
I know that.
I don't need to spend $60,000 of this family's money to figure that out.
I mean, making movies is it's my life.
I need you to believe that I'm that one in a million who's going to make it because I do.
Honey, did I ever tell you the story about the time your father decided to make chewing gum on our kitchen stove? Please tell me you're kidding.
No.
He was going to sell it to local gift shops and I won't get into anything beyond the fact that it was a sticky mess and we had to shave part of your head once Dad decided to make you sous-chef of the strawberry division.
- You shaved my head? - Part of your head.
You were five.
It was the eighties.
We told you it was punk.
- That's great.
- Anyway, I'm just- Well, I'm bringing it up because Dad had a lot of harebrained schemes and I was always convinced that the gum one as based on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was his favorite book as a child.
But he wouldn't admit it.
This one's a little more subtle than your other life lessons.
Dawson your dad's pipe dreaming, it drove me right up the wall but it was also one of the things that made me fall in love with him because, like you he had the courage to believe life could be as great as you think it could be when you're a kid.
So, you get what I'm saying? - Would you like me to watch Lily? - Yeah and then go jump off the cliff.
Only metaphorically, of course.
- Mom.
- I'm your mother.
I can't help it.
Apparently you liked my little metaphor about things that fade.
Actually, I thought it was cool there are people in this world who would give you the prize out of their Cracker Jack box.
It's because I love you, honey.
Okay.
There is nothing wrong with being scared.
It's perfectly natural.
Being scared does no one any good.
Okay.
So, what do I do to help? Well, you can fetch me the butter from the top shelf of the refrigerator.
I wasn't referring to this culinary exercise in displaced energies.
I mean you.
I mean, what do I do to help you? You're going to need somebody to drive you to treatments and I can do that.
I can cook meals in advance TiVo 60 Minutes and when you get bored Jack and I are going to act out scenes from Moulin Rouge for you.
Jack can have nothing to do with this, nor can you, Jennifer.
This is my own personal business, and I can take care of it myself.
Well, what about me? I mean, who's going to take care of me? I mean, you're my grandmother, the person I love most in the world and you're sick, and I'm the one who's scared.
Look, Jennifer, this is not a death sentence.
Now, many people my age, they have one round of radiation therapy and they live long happy lives in remission.
Okay, so let's talk about that.
- Oh, Jennifer- - But can we at least just start talking? Jennifer, I am not ready to die yet.
Come here.
Do you hear me? Do you? And as my fist was rocketing towards his neck, I was just, like you know, Patrick, you're a lover, not a fighter.
That last part was pretty obvious and as for the first part You mean the lover part? Not a chance.
Oh, well, I didn't mean it literally.
Well, I did, you know, but that's not the reason I'm at the dance with you.
I'm at the dance with you because if I weren't you'd be with some other guy, and that would kill me.
Because you like me? Yeah.
Nice speech.
Pacey teach you that? Yeah.
Yeah, that and how to unhook a bra with one hand.
Try it and you'll have one hand left.
If memory serves, I owe you a dance, Ms.
Potter.
You're probably wondering what the hell I'm doing here.
- Hi.
- Hi.
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