Desperate Romantics s01e03 Episode Script

Congratulations, John.
You've changed everything.
You've enhanced your reputation and that of the brotherhood.
We are sweethearts, are we not? I thought it was because you were in love with herFred! Of course I'm in love with her.
So you are secretly engaged? So secretly engaged that only one of you knows that you are engaged.
You don't understand their world, Charlotte.
I want to buy you manners.
Why would you do that? So that we might step out together.
Am I a patron? If you wish it.
Of course I wish it.
John, do you think my wife would make a good model? Sir, it isn't a job for a respectable woman.
No, you're right.
It isn't.
I do hope you can grow as fond of Johnny Millais as I have done.
Why do you say such things? If you could kindly imagine that you are a loyal Highland wife, who has secured the release of her Jacobite husband.
And how has she secured that release? This loyal Highland wife? Well, I imagine by persuasion of some sort or other.
Perhaps she has traded her virtue for her husband's release.
Perhaps she has, that, that would certainly be possible.
Does that make her a good woman or a bad woman in your eyes? Well, she has sacrificed her virtue for love.
In my eyes, that is the noblest sacrifice any woman can make.
Do you think her husband knows, or has guessed? I hadn't really thought about that.
Perhaps he doesn't care.
I can't imagine such a thing.
Perhaps he is too full of his own suffering to have time to think of hers.
That does happen, doesn't it, between man and wife? Mrs Ruskin You seem both unhappy and agitated.
Do I really? Please.
I think you should sit down and rest a while.
Shall we call for a pot of camomile tea? I find it settles my nerves when I get all fluttery and bird-like.
HE GRUNTS I'm finding it hard to draw under such damned pressure.
It's every drawback, every false beginning, reminds me how far behind I have fallen.
Surely it's not a competition? Is it not? Millais has got Ruskin.
Hunt has sold his painting.
Copied from my idea.
But surely there are other ideas.
Agh! I - I was thinking, perhaps of Dante and Beatrice, but what's the point? I have no money for paint.
Or canvas, or, orfood.
If you allow me to model for just one painting for Hunt again, I could pay for all that.
I will not have you posing for others.
And I will come to you each evening and you can begin your preliminary sketches.
No, I will not have it.
I cannot stand it.
So your petty jealousy is of greater weight than your desire to paint a masterpiece! My masterpiece? Well, that does have a certain ring to it, I suppose.
As Rossetti struggles with his muse I struggle to keep at bay the poisonous image of Lizzie lying in his arms.
Hunt, ourKing of Pain, finds himself trapped between the demands of Annie and the demands of God.
Millais, however, remains blissfully unaware of mental and emotional struggle.
I thought it most unusual when Mr Ruskin suggested you modelled for me.
If I had thought for one moment you were in any way unhappy with the arrangementThe arrangement? It's not for everyone, standing there dressed as a peasant woman, completely still while some dunderhead stares and paints and stares and paints.
You really don't know why you're here, do you? I'm here to paint you.
Am I not? When Hunt arrives let me do the talking.
He can afford whatever we ask, he sold his painting.
Miss Siddal, Mr Rossetti.
How's the work progressing? Still painting juvenile daubs of no artistic merit? Are you still hanging them? Miss Siddal, when will you be sitting for John Millais again? She won't.
Miss Siddal will be modelling for my masterpiece.
Oh, well.
At least you have millinery to fall back on.
Not here! Not here! It's a Landseer, not a crate of monkeys! More's the pity.
Gabriel.
Lizzie? Hello.
I am looking for Christ's hair.
Lizzie is reluctant tomodel for a painting that just features her hair.
A shilling an hour, shall we say? Two shillings and six pence at the very least.
I am Ophelia.
I can walk into any studio and demand double that! Two shillings.
With a guarantee of at least one week's work.
I thought the rules of the Brotherhood demanded that we shared what was ours.
Hmm, that was before I realised how little I'd have to share.
Still I'm sure you'll find Christ's hair in the Holy Land.
Don't forget to write.
Very well! Two and six it is.
Thank you.
Miss Miller.
Hunt.
What's this about the bleeding Holy Land, then, eh? Annie! Listen! Sometimes things happen to a man which convince him that God is telling him to do penance.
Now it's my intention to follow up on The Awakening Conscience, exploring more overtly the religious themes.
There's no shortage of religious themes right here in this room! I need to travel to the Holy Land to do this.
For how long? Six months or so.
Six months! You engender in me a constant state of sexual arousal.
Don't try and sweet talk your way out of it.
I am going to paint.
It is my intention to tether a goat in the Desert and to paint it as a symbol of Christ's sacrifice.
A goat! You are leaving me for a goat! What's wrong with an English goat?! It's not the goat.
It's the light, it's the it's the thought of Christ's presence! I see.
You do? Oh.
Annie! No You don't mean that.
I wish I did.
You chose a goat over me.
Fine! Go to the Holy Land! But don't you ever think you'll taste my fruits again! GROANS AND GASPS So.
How are things proceeding, Johnny? She has a difficult head.
Indeed she does, Johnny, in every sense.
But not without its rewards.
This is to tide you over until I am in a position to sell your painting.
I don't know what to say.
I just hope that the three of us, you, myself and Mrs Ruskin will be very happy together.
Indeed, sir, so do I.
So take it.
As a sign of my affection and my gratitude andand indeed, Effie's future gratitude.
Her future gratitude? Her future gratitude.
Oh, and by the way, I'm planning to nominate you as an Associate of the Academy.
An Associate of the Academy?! An Associate?! Her future gratitude?! But I can't help thinking that I am expected to do something other than painting to repay Ruskin's loyalty.
How long before you're a full member? I don't know.
And Effie Ruskin said you didn't know why you were there? I didn't.
Well, I did.
But I don't now.
Will somebody please tell me what is happening in my life? Effie Ruskin gives off the air of a dissatisfied woman.
But John Ruskin gives off the air of a man who is interested in mounting paintings and little else.
You are young, Johnny, good-looking, talented and in his debt.
What? You don't think that John Ruskin is inviting you to seduce his wife? This is one of Rossetti's practical jokes, isn't it, Maniac? Isn't it? Lust has finally taken agrip of Gabriel's mind so he canthink of nothing else.
Two gins, please.
Dear Fred, how long before we can be friends again? How long does a broken heart take to mend? I know you were sweet on Lizzie.
Yet you chose to pursue her.
It was almost as if my declaring my love for her spurred you on.
And so it did.
You admit it, then? I pursued Lizzie in order to protect you.
Protect me? Lizzie is the kind of person that would destroy a less experienced man.
She has an intensity that would burn you up.
Burn? She seems such a gentle soul.
You will learn, as you grow wise in the ways of women, dear Fred, that it is the gentle souls who will lure you to your ruin.
Oh, well, perhaps I will take that drink after all.
Hey, that's the spirit! Cheers.
Mr Dickens.
I hear great things are going on behind Mr Ruskin's door, Mr Millais.
What? I can't think what you mean.
Another masterpiece, I hear.
Well, one can only hope.
Are you quite all right, Mr Millais? You seem rather agitated.
The other day, you said I had no idea why I was here.
Perhaps you would care to explain what you meant by that.
When I was living in Venice with John, I was left to myself, day after day.
With John's encouragement I attended balls and parties and dances, always alone.
But surely that would have brought you admirers.
Only two or three.
No, four.
Four?! Did Mr Ruskin not object? I am not so sure Mr Ruskin did not put them in my path.
I am equally certain that cannot possibly be the case.
Look at you and I.
Left alone.
A married woman and a single man.
Together, every day for weeks to come.
Why do you think he has allowed that? So that I can better get on with painting your portrait? Of course.
Of course.
I'm, I'm sure you are right.
Erm, if I may.
Always best to protect your reputation by pretending that which is, is not.
I simply do not believe that a man of Mr Ruskin's towering character would ever contemplate what you are suggesting.
What if I were to tell youthat Mr Ruskin is a giant as an author, but a poor, weak creature in everything else.
II don't know what has got into you, Effie.
But you have rendered me into a terrible fug that can only be resolved if I leave immediately! I can't stay and hear you attack Mr Ruskin in this way.
He is my friend and my patron, and he is your husband! How can you say such things?! Please do not think badly of me! I think perhaps you are ill.
Let us call for Camomile tea.
Perhaps a cold compress! I am not ill! I am afraid you are in the grip of some terrible destructive hysteria.
I am not sick! Unless virginity is a kind of sickness.
You must desist, Effie.
You are babbling like something from Revelations! I am a virgin, John! I have been married for five years and our marriage has not been consummated! Now, perhaps you could explain that to me with reference to Mr Ruskin's towering character? Is this another one for the walls of the Academy, Maniac? If they'll take it.
I doubt I will ever paint anything staid enough for the Academy walls.
I'll leave that for the likes of you.
If you think the Academy's so stiff, then why do you sulk when Hunty and Johnny Boy get their paintings on the walls? Since Adam and Eve, every man has wanted what he can't have.
I can vouch for that.
I'd have starved without it.
Well, perhaps, you could model for me while Hunt is in the Holy Land.
I'm not going to the Holy Land any more.
Oh? You had second thoughts, did you? Yes.
Lots of them.
Oh, I see.
Huh.
Lizzie! I'm modelling to pay for your paint, but you would rather while away the hours flirting with Miss Miller.
Come, come.
I was merely making conversation.
Have you even as much as picked up a pencil yet? The process is very intense.
Becauseeach time I sit down to draw, I realise that, like Beatrice, you are my destiny.
We have met before.
We are Dante and Beatrice.
I don't want pretty words.
I want evidence of your work.
You can have both.
Yu have made progress? This is what I'm trying to tell you.
The preliminary sketches are of such startling intensity, that I have to take rests at regular intervals.
It is not laziness, but industry that has given me this, this languid air.
Good.
I shall look forward to seeing evidence of your industry when I next call.
Good.
Good.
I might be ready to go back to them now, actually, as it so happens.
Ladies, Maniac.
I was never told the duties of married persons to each other and I knew little or nothing about the relations in the closest union on Earth.
John eventually avowed no intention of making me his wife.
He alleged various reasons.
A hatred to children, religious motives, a desire to preserve my beauty and finally in this last year, he told me that he'd imagined that women were quite different to what he saw.
He was disgusted by my person on that first evening.
But I find that inconceivable.
I shall take that as a compliment.
I have no experience in these matters, butI can imagine desiring you all the time, if your marital status didn't forbid me from holding such thoughts.
Could you? I could.
I tell you this - if I wasn't British, I might just try and take advantage of your predicament.
Might you? If I was a certain kind of manI just might.
A virgin?! Since when? Since before the marriage.
It's not possible.
I don't believe it.
Well, it might be possible if there's some kind of malfunction.
Of what? I don't know.
Ruskin does spend a lot of time writing books, doesn't he? Not with his prick, he doesn't.
Are you sure she hasn't made this up? I've decided the best course of action is to tell Mr Ruskin that I can no longer receive his patronage.
Quite right, Johnny.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's the only moral course left open to me.
Don't start muddying the picture with morality, Johnny Boy, it's complicated enough as it is.
What I would give to be Ruskin's favourite! Probably a few more inches than Johnny can conjure in his present mood.
You seemed determined to make light of my terrible predicament.
You have a rich and influential patron and he has a beautiful young wife who he has permitted you to launch as and when you please.
And without any recriminations.
What is the predicament? It would leave me exposed to scandal! My mother would die! Only if Fred here starts writing about it in the Illustrated London.
You don't have any choice, Johnny, but to frolic Ruskin's wife.
If you don't do it for yourself then you must do it for the Brotherhood.
I am afraid Gabriel's right.
If you irritate Ruskin now, then our careers will sink along with yours.
There are other patrons.
Yes.
Thank you, Fred.
But there's only one John Ruskin.
Can I have the same again, please? Gabriel.
Perhaps you could advise me on the correct way to ask a husband if he is offering his wife in exchange for patronage or if I have got the wrong end of the stick.
Johnny, Ruskin doesn't want you to acknowledge it.
He wants you to proceed on the basis of an understanding.
If you are beasting another man's wife, it is the height of bad manners to point it out to him.
Thank goodness I have you.
I find the modern world a most random and confusing place.
I am glad to be of help.
If there is any way I can repay you for your counsel, do not hesitate Well, there is one thing.
I was just wondering if you have any old sketches, I may borrow.
Ofof young lovers or, anything romantic.
Just in the way of research, you understand.
Yes, of course, of course.
And you believed him? Of course I believed him.
I pressed him for the truth and he told me.
The prettier a man's speech, the less trustworthy he is.
I gave myself to him and he didn't go running off as you predicted.
He didn't go running to the jewellers, either.
Any man can buy a ring.
Only Gabriel would paint a picture of us as Dante and Beatrice.
Will it be a masterpiece? Do the sketches fill you with confidence? You have seen them, haven't you? Of course I have.
Good morning, Johnny.
Sir, would you care to see the preliminary drawings? No time today, I am going to be late for my train.
Your train? Are you and Mrs Ruskin going away somewhere? Just me.
To Scotland.
I have need of the wildness, so lacking here in Mayfair.
You are leaving Mrs Ruskin alone? Well, she won't be alone, Johnny, will she? She'll have you! Alone? Oh, and I was at the Academy last night.
With my support, they intend to make you an Associate before the year is out! And what if I was to lose your support? Well, that's not going to happen, Johnny? We both know that.
Look after Effie for me! I hear that congratulations are the order of the day.
For what, exactly? For becoming an Associate of the Royal Academy.
Yes, yes.
Mr Ruskin is a good fellow.
Indeed.
But, not of our kind, his soul always among the clouds and out of reach of ordinary mortals.
That is an accurate way of describing him.
So perhaps that accounts for his somewhat strange behaviour.
In leaving us alone together or in not expressing his love for me with physical intimacy? I'm sorry! I'm sorry! No, not at all.
Your words are entirely appropriate to our circumstances.
It is I who can't seem to contain the two realities.
I find myself in a complete apoplexy of indecision! I have shamed myself and I've shamed you.
I shall go now.
Johnny.
I haven't a clue what you are talking about.
Isn't it obvious? I love you! And I will do everything you can desire of me.
Would you, in that case, mind very much kissing me? I cannot.
I'm sorry! I cannot! It is true.
It is something in me that prevents men from growing intimate.
No! My hesitation is entirely due to my misgivings about your marital state! Effie, you must believe me.
I would kiss your very slippers! Mr Millais.
Effie.
I thought I would call by to see what progress you are making.
Oh, well, I think you can see from these sketches that we are capturing something of the agony of a woman, who has had to commit a sacrifice in order to secure her husband's freedom! I have no doubts about your superior abilities as an artist, Mr Millais.
I have written you a few appropriate words you might like to utter to create the right mood.
Thank you, Fred.
Considerate as ever.
Oh, you'd erm, you'd better take this by way of thanks, for these Just rinse it out afterwards.
Andbefore, come to think of it.
Do you love Effie? I think she is the sweetest creature that ever lived.
You are a good man, Johnny.
God has led you to this.
Oh, don't bring God into it, he's nervous enough as it is! You are sure you actually want to do this, aren't you, Johnny? Do you think she will be able to detect my virginity? Well, her own virginity might allow you to get away with it.
As long as you act with both tenderness and authority.
Just make sure she stays awake.
Ignore Gabriel, he lacks your sensitivity.
Oh, and you'd be an expert on the first time, would you, Fred? When next we meet, I shall be a changed man.
Perhaps one of us should go and rock the bed for him.
Effie.
I am a man and you are a woman.
That much is apparent even to me.
No.
No.
God, my fingers are all of a tremble.
Can I help? No! No.
I have found over the years of plentiful womanising that itit is better if the man undresses himself.
Oh.
Thereby saving the woman the shock of freeing the member rampant.
Of course.
That is most considerate of you, Johnny.
It is so reassuring to me that you seem so well acquainted with lovemaking.
Not just the destination itself, but also the journey.
A traveller is only as stimulated as the landscape is beautiful.
Out of interestYes.
Which side does Mr Ruskin normally occupy? The one you are on.
Do you mind if INo, no, of course not.
So where's Johnny? He's otherwise engaged.
By now yes, he, he should be visiting a new and interesting landscape.
He's covering his first mare.
For goodness sake, Gabriel, Annie is being trained up to be a lady.
Oh, really? And how's that progressing? So he's got a sweetheart, has he? Better than that.
He's been invited by Ruskin to deflower his wife.
They've been married for years, haven't they? I don't think there'll be much deflowering going on.
You would think so, but it transpires that Effie Ruskin is still a virgin.
Are you sure? Mm-hm.
Johnny is easily confused.
Surely he's made some mistake.
No.
It's true, my love.
Even Ruskin's mother has given her encouragement and blessing.
Well, that settles it, then.
He is being taken for a fool.
It's a role he was born to play.
You do see he is being tricked, don't you? I don't think you are quite as insightful as you think, my love.
Can you please listen to Annie.
She knows sexual intrigue like no-one else.
And I say that withthe greatest respect.
People don't ask you to screw their wives for no reason.
If Ruskin and Ruskin's mother are encouraging Johnny to commit adultery with Effie, then it is so he can be named on the divorce certificate.
It's nonsense, isn't it? Isn't it? How do you normally begin, Johnny? I, I normally like to begin with a moment of quiet contemplation.
Thenwhen you feel the moment, let your desire run its course.
Ow! Don't, don't, don't move! Well, I'm not moving.
ButJust don't Quick, we'll be too late! It's Millais' first time.
He'll be so nervous he'll need a splint to get his fellow to attention! Impotence is our only hope! Fred, write that down, make it our motto! The light's still on.
Quick! Johnny! He left the candles burning.
I would never have thought that of him.
Johnny! Johnny it's a trap JohnnyJohnny it's a trap! It sounds like your friends.
No, no, no.
They're, they're probably just trying to encourage me.
You'll both be ruined! Well, that would explain the bolts.
What? Oh, surely no man of such sensitivity would hatch such a heinous plan.
The Ruskins have usedtheir influences against me for all my years of marriage.
You mean, he wanted me to be in his wife's society in order to preserve his good name by blackening Effie's? If he divorced me for adultery, I would be ruined.
Well He has outflanked me on this occasion, that is for sure.
As surprising as it is that John Ruskin has beaten you intellectually, we have to know if you've entered Effie's grotto.
Gabriel! Show some delicacy.
That was me showing delicacy.
Mr Rossetti, I assure you my honour remains intact.
There was an unfortunate incident with some beads.
If Mr Ruskin is such a plotting and scheming fellow, then such a quiet scoundrel ought to be ducked in a mill pond.
I don't know for certain what he intended.
Well, at the very least, his conduct is incomprehensible.
Effie.
There is only one thing for it.
I must never see you again.
Although there is the matter of the painting to be completed.
And what with materials and so on, I would be out of pocket were I to leave now.
Keats and Wordsworth themselves would be pushed to word a more romantic sentence than that.
Thank you.
So I stopped a man from making love to a woman and he actually thanked me for it.
I think Gladstone himself should shake my hand! Indeed.
Although, my guess is that he probably wouldn't have got to the starting line before his horsedied, so to speak.
It places Effie in a most precarious position.
Though less precarious than the one Millais had in mind.
Can you not see how serious this is? If Effie and Millais had succumbed, Millais would not have faced ruin.
Effie would have been branded an adulteress.
Of course I see.
Why did you think we stopped them? Because your friend Millais would have faced the inconvenience of being named in a divorce case.
Well, he may well have lost his patron, whichever path he chooses.
Oh, the poor boy(!) Never mind that Effie would have been condemned to a choice between destitution and prostitution! I know it's serious.
I am most sensitive to a woman's plight.
Yet you fail to reflect how vulnerable my own position is.
It is entirely different.
Why?! I'm a model, after all! And a mistress, and unless we marry, I will face a dilemma every bit as serious as Effie's.
We will marry.
When? When I am in a financial position to do so.
What am I to make of your promises when you have already proved yourself a liar? You promised to teach me to draw, after all.
I will start today.
You promised me sketches of Dante and Beatrice.
Which you have already.
Do you really not think I would recognize Millais' work? Is that a reflection of the regard in which you hold me? Too lazy to do the work and then so contemptuous that you think I would be fooled in this way? I'm sorry.
I was desperate to give the impression ofhard work and application.
I was desperate to show you how much I had changed! Yet, in doing so, you show me you have not changed at all! So I finish the painting? Mm, finish the painting but do not pursue your affair with Effie.
That way he cannot accuse you and her of adultery and he can continue to be your patron! There is a problem.
I am in love with Effie and she with me.
We want to run away together.
That is lunacy.
No.
No.
No.
It might just be a solution! Effie should act first and sue Ruskin for an annulment on the grounds of non-consummation, before he starts divorce proceedings against her.
That way, your name won't get mentioned.
What? That's brilliant.
But if she is to sue for non-consummation, then there'll have to be a virginity test, first.
I'm not sure I want to go through that.
For her, Johnny.
All you have to do is make sure you don't mount her by accident before the annulment.
There will still be a scandal, will there not? Yes.
But if our good friend Fred here leaks the story to Effie's advantage, then it'll be Ruskin's scandal, not yours.
And the whole of London will be talking about his limp dick.
Are you happy to do that, Fred? Fred is like a true Brother to us.
We can count on Fred, can't we? Of course.
There we go.
Then this calls for strong hearts and strong drink.
Fred! Do the honours, a bit of a tin shortage this end of the table! Is there any problem you can't manage, Gabriel? Oh, she's a fiery red-head with a kiss like a suction pump.
Goes by the name of Lizzie.
It's funny.
Now that I know I'm not allowed to be intimate, I want it more than I did before.
Welcome to manhood.
You need to remember your love for her, Johnny, at all times.
Well, that's usually enough to put any man off sex.
Just remember to not wear out your painting hand.
You need to keep working as normal.
Ruskin needs to suspect nothing.
Hey, Fred! Fred! You must be thrilled! It's on the front page! I know! You've relegated the Crimean War to page five! "Mrs Effie Ruskin is seeking an annulment of her marriage based on non-consummation.
" It mentions my name! I understood it wasn't going to mention my name! It mentions all our names! "Mrs Ruskin has recently been modelling for John Millais, a member of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood "who have a philosophy which entails "capturing the extraordinary beauty in the everyday.
"They number amongst their members William Holman Hunt, "painter of The Awakening Conscience, "and are led by the enigmatic revolutionary Dante Gabriel Rossetti.
" Could be worse, I suppose.
"Enigmatic revolutionary"! But the detail.
Ruskin will be able to track it back to me.
He will never speak to me again.
And who can blame him? I did this for you! Fred, firstly, it's the first time you have made the front page of the Illustrated London, so you shouldbe celebrating.
Secondly, it nails Ruskin but manages to keep us in the public eye without showing us in a bad light at all, really! KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.
I will send my account book on to you.
It contains a full statement of this year's accounts and an explanation of the moneys received and spent by me.
You don't need to give me accounts.
I feel I do.
It helps to establish the nullity of our marriage.
Is that what you consider it to be? A nullity? It was clear the day we marriedyou never wished to make meyour wife.
That is not true.
I was worried about your health.
Oh, yes, your touching accusations of insanity! Did you never stop and think of the agony that I might be enduring! For the first five years of our marriage I thought of little else! I'm done with ranting and tearing out my hair.
The worst of it for me is long past.
In which case, there can be no impediment to you agreeing to an annulment without me having to undergo the degrading and humiliating physical examination toestablish my virginity.
Paulizza and Brown and Forster from Venice and now from London, dear Johnny Millais.
Need I say more? They were friendships, only.
And then only because, your personal cruelty and daily heaping of insult upon insult drove me to seek those friendships.
At least the whole world knows that well enough now! Yes! The whole world knows! And for the present must have its full swing! That is all you have to say on the subject of our pretend marriage? Be assured, I shall neither be subdued nor materially changed by this matter.
I don't believe you are as cold as this.
Please do not make me go through with the virginity test.
You know the truth.
I know the truth.
If you have any feelings for me then let us just quietly seek an annulment.
My good name is already the subject of ridicule, Effie.
I have no reason to seek a quiet annulment.
And as for your happiness, you will never be happy and that fault is in you, not me.
Goodbye, John.
FOOTSTEPS I cannot believe that anyone, however twisted, would want to write such a thing about you, John.
If I can do anything to track down the beast who betrayed you in this way! It's good of you to come and see me in person, Gabriel.
I want everyone toknow I consider you the injured party in all this.
And if standing by you brings disgrace to my name, then so be it, sir.
I cannot leave the house, of course.
Everywhere I go there are pointing fingers and wagging tongues.
John tomorrow it will all be forgotten.
And your reputation as a critic will be unharmed.
It's good of you to say so.
And so and so and so.
I have my work, you see, always my work.
And even though it's mostunpleasant to have one's name dragged through the gutters like this, it's poor Johnny Millais I'm actually concerned about.
Why on Earth would you worry about Johnny Boy? He suffers from extreme melancholia, does he not? I'm not certain he's intelligent enough for it to be melancholia.
It's more of a sulk.
HE OPENS A DRAWERS I fear he is being ensnared in her web.
I can do nothing for him, he has no sympathy with me or my ways.
Family do not suffice him, he's always miserable about something or other and it cannot help that he's having this affair with Effie.
An affair? I am sure that is not the case, sir.
Are you really? I have known Johnny a long time and he loves and admires you too much to act on any impulse he may feel regarding jumping on your wife sir.
You are a very loyal friend, Gabriel.
But can you see how it compromises both of us, for me to continue as Millais' patron? So you'll be looking for a new protege? These show a new intensity, Gabriel.
An intensity triggered by an aching heart, Sir.
I am sure you are familiar with that feeling.
Quite.
Are you aware if Hunt is still searching for a patron? I am afraid Hunt is dead set on this insane trip to the Middle East.
Surely he sees that he will paint things there that he will be ashamed of in seven years.
I have said the verysame thing to him, sir.
The very same! I fear I have misjudged you.
I've always considered you to be irredeemably superficial.
Whereas now you consider me to be redeemably superficial, perhaps? Is that mill owner still buying your work? What was his name? Mr Chadwick? Yes, Mr Chadwick and I have decided to go our separate ways, sir.
I felt I could not paint to his requirements, sir.
Patrons a little thin on the ground at the present moment.
Well, when this story dies down I will pay a visit to your studio.
And we'll see if I can't do something about that, shall we? I'm sure the story will die down sooner than you think, sir.
A storm in a teacup.
And so Ruskin visited you in person? Yes.
In person.
He's as tortured as Johnny by the way this whole thing has unravelled.
Did he mention me at all? He said that your trip to the Holy Land might have you producing work that you will still be proud of in seven years' time! And me I put him right on you, Fred.
I told him your true character.
So he thinks I should travel to the Holy Land? And although I'll miss you like my own soul, I find myself in agreement with him.
But I thought you were so against it.
I was wrong.
You'll come back a better artist.
And what about Johnny, though? If I left now it would break his heart.
I think Johnny might be preoccupied with other matters.
How will I break it to Annie, Gabriel? Annie will understand.
If she loves you, she'll understand.
So you are really going, then? It has no reflection on you, Annie, no reflection at all.
I love you.
And I feel nothing but respect for your working class soul.
However, there are those out there, who would judge you for your coarse ways and foul mouth.
Not me.
But others.
And for that reason, while I'm away, you will receive the training that you need in order to be accepted by my family as my bride.
And then, when I return, we shall be married straightaway.
And I promise you that.
Well, I suppose I've had worse offers.
SHE SNIFFS Before you go to that Holy Land, would you care to take one more visit to this Holy Land? I have a confession to make.
When I boasted before about the number of women I have been intimate with, I may have exaggerated their number.
Oh.
So, not so many then? Not so many, no.
In fact, none.
So we have both passed our virginity tests? I suppose, yes, I suppose that's right! But you are familiar with the necessary order of proceedings.
I have studied Leda and the Swan at close proximity.
I think I have some grasp of the basic geography.
SHE GASPS Perhaps if you were to move a little.
Back and forth.
That would be pleasurable.
Oh.
Yes.
So it is.
So it is.
There is nothing wrong with you at all.
You are perfect.
Absolutely perfect! If I could get hold of the people who wrote such nonsense I would personally horsewhip their buttocks to a rosy hue.
I would parade them through town with their trousers down, exposed to the ridicule of the baying mob.
Have their been many enquiriesabout Millais' new painting? Some.
Why? I'd hoped there would be.
It's a marvellous piece of work.
We can't confuse our feelings about the artist with the art.
That would leave usonly able to admire work by those we like.
Are you occupied on Tuesday? No.
But I should like to be, if sexual congress is on offer.
SHE CHUCKLES Well, it is certainly customary afterwards.
After what? After the Wedding.
Wedding? There is no other way to preserve my reputation than we marry quickly.
That had occurred to you, had it not? Of course! Of course! It was it was just as you described, Gabriel.
Every bit as enjoyable.
I can quite see why you find it so distracting.
Good.
I've lost Ruskin, of course.
He refuses to speak with me.
What do you want from the man? He has already made your career.
You are an Associate of the Academy on his recommendation.
At least The Order of Release has been sold.
What? When did you hear this? This afternoon.
500 Guineas.
So I suppose that's something.
I see.
That should soften the blow.
Oh, look, the boys have come to see you off.
Anybody would think you three were sweethearts, the way you carry on.
Now, you have the list of who Annie can and can't sit for.
Of course, Maniac.
And she sits for Rossetti under no circumstances.
I would think her virtue was safer with him than any man.
He is besotted with Lizzie.
Mr Rossetti has no more control over his libido than a dog in the street.
And I say that as his best friend in the world.
I understand.
Boys.
I spotted Annie like a pebble on the beach and set about to polish her.
Now I have not beenpolishing her these last few weeks for another man to pop her in his pocket on a whim! Do I make myself clear? Completely.
Good.
Goodbye.
I shall returna better man.
I'm sure you will! The Divine Master in Syria never ceased to have claimed my homage.
Art should serve Christ.
Don't go lifting any veils you shouldn't, hey? My love.
Keep up with the lessons, my darling.
When you return, I'll be so sophisticated I'll be able to come in three different languages.
I would like to report that Gabriel feels a smidgen of remorse at packing his friend off to the Holy Land in order to clear the path between him and Ruskin.
Or at the very least, that his deceptive ways have lost him the one thing he truly values.
But no.
He seems to have no idea that Lizzie's love for him is both undeserved and unfair.
Hunt, meanwhile, begins his pilgrimage in the spirit of a man who is giving up drink, but then happens upon a jug of gin he has forgotten about beneath his bed.
And Effie, determined to make up for years of a sexless marriage has Millais pleasure her around the clock.
And Millais, is left wondering, once again, when life will be something that stops happening to him.
When life will finally become something that he can do something about.
Does this look in any way suspicious or sordid to you? Gabriel.
I am begging you.
Please! Bugger me! If it isn't Ali Baba! Please desist in this foolishness, Maniac.
Fred has decided to tell the truth at all times, like an Old Testament prophet.
What have you said? I do hope you aren't intending to be forward with me, sir.
Forward to begin with and then any other direction that takes my fancy.
I want to buy everything.
Everything? Oh, my God! Do you know why I love it? Because it's shit.
Marry me or leave me alone to live my life as I see fit! Ah, Ruskin! So is the gossip true? He never covered the mare? Come on, little Maniac, let's be having you.