Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016) s01e03 Episode Script

Rogue Wall Enthusiasts

1 Dirk: Previously on "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency" Todd: What did they do to you? Estevez: Lydia Spring is a missing person.
Todd and I attempted to investigate Lydia Spring's kidnapping I am not investigating anything! where we met Gordon Rimmer.
You! We stole his dog and then traded it for Farah Black, the bodyguard of murdered billionaire Patrick Spring.
Why did you burn my house down? I burnt your house down? - Dirk? - Hi, Farah.
- You know her?! - Can I kill him now? Yes.
It turned out that weird woman in the woods was invincible.
Sort of.
I can't be hurt, universe won't allow it.
I have Pararibulitis.
You actually have hallucinations that feel real.
If the disease is in you, why does it matter where you go? Everything is connected.
Ah, hello, brothers.
I like the new jumpsuits.
Very fascist.
I dig that.
What happened here, Rainey? Looks like a homicide.
You call me by the name of my first shell, Pollux.
Is that meant to give you power over me? I was given an order to come down to this shithole at 2:00 AM.
I'm one of the original souls, and you do not tell me what to do like I'm some kind of drone we found on the street.
Are we not all equals? Simply energy? That's big words from a guy who calls himself "The Supreme Soul," hmm? At least as Lux DuJour, I try to do something.
Hmm? I try to create something.
How many bodies have you been in in the last 10 years, huh, Rainey? 50? Hmm? What am I doing here? What's this all about? Who are these people? Your energy is being redesignated.
We found a new location for our temple.
This body is the key.
Say hello to your new vessel, Gordon Rimmer.
Redesignated? You can't do that.
It's what's best for our cause.
Cause? Right.
You know, it's been decades, and if you really cared about our great cause, you would have found Edgar Spring's other machine years ago.
You've become addicted to this body, to this life.
You can't do this to me.
You can't swap me out against my will into some fat piece of shit! I'm a rock star! Supreme Soul, please, I'm making a new album.
You can't do this to me! I'm a rock star! I'm a rock star! [Sobbing.]
I'm a rock star.
I'm a rock star! [Jazz playing from stereo.]
I have mace.
Holy shit.
You're Lydia Spring.
Are you the one that wrote this letter? I am.
Do you really have answers? I do.
Who is Zackariah Webb, and what was his connection to my family? What happened to my grandfather? Who killed my mother? Zackariah Webb, I don't know, but I do know what happened to your mother, and I know why your father is so afraid.
Why don't you come inside? It's cold.
Do you like Lux DuJour? Who the hell is Lux DuJour? Ouch.
Take me to the house.
[Siren wails.]
Why are you hiding behind that bush? Todd: Because we're the ones who burned the house down.
Yeah, but they don't know that.
My clothes look good on you.
Thanks? Listen, um I haven't had the chance to You know, at the bridge, with the dog? You That was brave of you.
I guess you saved me.
So Cool.
So why did you burn down this house again? Well, um You said the guys who kidnapped me thought you killed Patrick Spring? Correct.
Absolutely no one has any idea what's going on.
I spoke to the police at the scene.
What did they say? "Go away.
" Well, you're a detective.
You've been gathering information.
What have you found so far? Well I gave the bad guys my phone number.
You gave them your phone number? In self-defense.
Give me your phone now.
Wait, what are you doing? [Dialing.]
No, no, no.
No, that's a bad idea.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Come Come on.
Where is Lydia Spring? Do you have the other machine? - What other machine? - That's the wrong answer.
- Where is Lydia? - Lydia's gone.
What do we need to do to get her back? We're gonna find you, Miss Black.
You do not want to find me.
Your boss had something that we need, and before he died, he was gonna hand it over like a good little idiot, but now it's on you! This is your last chance.
Surrender Lydia Spring.
I'll see you real soon.
Soon? What do you mean, "soon"? I don't have a machine.
I don't know anything about a machine.
Uh, yes, what did they say, exactly? That Lydia's gone.
I I need to go back to the Spring Estate.
- Are you sure that's - All my things are there.
My clothes, my guns.
- No, no.
No more guns! - You look good.
We'll go with you.
- Okay, enough.
- Enough! I'm done.
I check out.
- I check out of this! - Hey, listen, wait.
- Hold a moment.
- What? Are you mad at me? Am I mad at you? Y N I don't know.
I-I don't know what I am at you.
- See you soon, Todd.
- But So Farah The bullet that hit the man keeping me prisoner, it was military.
Punched clean through the floor, high terminal velocity, 7.
I thought you said the landlord shot at you with a pistol? He did.
So then how's the military involved? Colonel Riggins, sir.
Good day, Corporal Friedkin.
We're prepping for direct contact with a former Black Wing subject.
Sir, yes, sir.
What is Black Wing, sir? It's what we are.
It's It's who I am.
Did you not read the file? File, sir? - Yes.
- Yes? In 1988, the Central Intelligence Agency assigned me as Operations Chief of a division of my own creation.
This division was given the code name "Black Wing.
" Black Wing had one mission to seek out, codify, and collect individuals with sensory-perceptive abilities beyond the normal human scale.
So, like, fat people? What? Fat people who were big on the scale, sir.
Not Fat people? What Files, yes.
Seat belt.
- Ah! - Cheer up.
Why? Because.
You know, we were having fun.
You were talking to me about stuff.
You know, you were asking me questions and stuff.
You know, it was good.
Yeah, and then you killed that guy.
Potato potato.
You're supposed to say it like "po-tay-to po-tah-to.
" What the hell is a "po-tah-to"? [Backstreet Boys' "As Long as You Love Me" plays.]
Oh, man.
Really? Do you know this song? [Chuckles.]
Yes, of course.
How? Like Like you've heard it before? Yes.
Do you know the words of the song he's gonna sing? Uh [Laughs.]
How? Do they play the same song on the radio more than once? Yes.
How could you possibly not know that? I don't I don't know who the people on the radio are.
I never met them.
I don't know where they're singing from.
Th-They're not singing anywhere.
It's a recording.
Oh! - Oh, now you're laughing.
- No, I'm not laughing.
Sing one of the Sing it.
Why? To prove you know it.
I mean, I don't know the words of songs and stuff, but then I turn on the radio, and you know the words of the songs he's going to sing, you know? It's It's kind of unbelievable.
Meant to be I don't care Who you are Where you're from Don't care what you did As long as you love me How do you remember that stuff? Where you're from Don't care what you did [Laughs.]
- As long - [Gunshot.]
Aah! Hey, it's Todd.
Leave a message.
Hey, Todd, I'm outside! So there's that.
I've been thinking about what Dirk said about me being in the house all the time, and he's right.
Maybe if I'm, like, out of food, I can go get my own.
It's gonna suck either way, so what am I afraid of? [Engine revving.]
I'm going to the grocery store, so you know.
What an adventure.
[Techno music playing.]
Estevez: You are not gonna believe this.
Is that the dog? - It's the dog from the tape.
- The dog from the tape.
The dog from the tape from the hotel.
Dog from the tape from the hotel.
Where was it? Literally outside, barking at uniforms on their way in.
The dog from the tape from the hotel walked into this police station? This appears to be the situation.
It gets weirder.
I checked the address on the tag.
The place burned down yesterday.
Burnt down? Like, got burnt down? That's what they're saying.
[Phone rings.]
- Missing.
- Man: Per - Persons.
- Visitor for Missing Persons.
Says his name is Todd Brotzman? Our friend, Todd.
From the hotel.
And the dog from the tape from the hotel arriving simultaneously.
That's not a coincidence.
Not a coincidence.
- Too many coincidences.
- Too many coincidences.
Hide the dog.
Fantastic! It's bloody huge! Is that a horse barn? Rhino barn, actually.
Hmm? Patrick loved animals.
In the '90s, he had a pet rhino named Pepe.
Did you know Pepe? I did.
My father was Patrick's old chief of security.
I spent a lot of time here.
It's actually a historic landmark, built in the 1880s for an inventor named Zackariah Webb.
But he disappeared, so the place fell into disrepair.
By the '70s, squatters were living here.
But Patrick bought it back from the government in the mid-'90s, just before what happened to his wife.
What happened to his wife? She died.
Man: Miss Black! Good to see you, John.
I thought I heard someone drive in.
Who's this again? John Dollow.
He's was Patrick's Lawyer.
You've never met him.
Yes, he seems like someone I've never met.
John Dollow, this is Dirk Gently.
Ooh, isn't that, um interesting.
I get that a lot.
Well, uh, take a moment, then come and find me.
I'll be in Mr.
Spring's office.
I I have something for you.
Estevez: You said you saw Lydia.
Yes, I saw her.
She was acting odd, but I saw her.
And I-I don't know if they killed Patrick Spring, but those weird guys are dangerous.
These are the men who you traded the dog with for Farah Black? Yes, yes, the same guys.
They were involved.
And I'm not I-I'm realizing I don't actually have the details, but it's all connected, right? Do you know of a band called "The Mexican Funeral"? Yeah, that was my band.
Four years ago, they filed a police report, saying that their equipment had been stolen.
Your name is on the report.
$4,000 worth of gear, stolen.
But it wasn't stolen, was it, Todd? Okay, l-look, I-I didn't You sold your band's gear without telling them and then reported it stolen.
Kind of a rotten thing to do, huh, Todd? I was going through a rough time.
We know that, too.
Something to do with a medical condition.
- You know about that? - We know about a lot of things.
- We called your parents.
- Wait, you called my parents? - We're the police, Todd.
- We investigate shit.
Together: That's what we do.
You're investigating me? We told you before, Todd, you're what we like to call "a person of interest.
" Who's getting more and more interesting all the time.
Your parents told us you have this medical condition, runs in the family, your sister now has it, too.
" Very rare.
- We're looking into it.
- Lot of real interesting stuff.
Okay, okay, w-what does this have to do with what's happening right now? I-I came here to try to help.
A-Are you accusing me of something? Is there something we should be accusing you of? Well, let's see.
Well, there's the house, the address you gave us.
It burned down yesterday.
And they're not ruling out arson.
- You said you were there.
- That puts you at oh, no, let me see, what is it? - Three? - Three.
- Three.
- Three total crime scenes.
And don't think we don't know about you taking the money back from your landlord, bud.
The one who is now dead.
We know about that.
Oh, we know about that.
I made it.
What? I made it.
No, no, no, no, no Miss? Are you okay? [Groans.]
Zimmerfield: Mr.
Brotzman? You are becoming a very compelling figure, almost as interesting as your detective buddy.
The one with the friends in all the high places.
[Cell phone ringing.]
- Amanda? - Todd? I messed up! Will you please help me? I messed up! - Where are you? - Help! Amanda, what are you [Busy signal.]
Amanda! Can I go? That wa That was my sister.
She needs me to pick her up.
You're here voluntarily.
Right? Right.
Ooh, that kid's guilty.
Yeah, but of what? [Screaming.]
Check out whack-job.
Woman: Some one help her! Help! This shit is hilarious.
Aah! Help! Aah! [Engine revving.]
No! No! No! No! - What the hell?! - [Mocking.]
What the hell? To the bleachers! I don't like him.
I've got a bone to pick! [Whistles.]
You're not supposed to be here.
Ladies and gentlemen, Lux DuJour! I'm just doing my job.
[Techno music plays from van.]
[Birds cawing.]
[Grunting lightly.]
Help me! Help me! [Echoes.]
[Coughs, spits.]
Bart! Is that you? Yeah, probably.
Hey, can can't you get us down from here? You know, with with your thing? What thing? You know, your flow of the universe thing.
I thought you didn't believe in that.
Argh! You know, it's funny, I knew.
I knew I'd die in some oh, some weird way, eventually.
You know, for a pretty scared guy, you sure do hang around with some dangerous types.
You kidnapped me! I meant before that.
Yeah, well [Sighs.]
Eventually, I thought I'd get a real job, but you get a payday from one bad guy, you get a payday from another bad guy.
- Hey, Ken.
- Yeah? You should know, when they come back, either you're gonna die, or I'm gonna kill all them.
Or you're gonna die, and then I'm gonna kill all them.
Or I'm gonna kill some of them, and then you get killed, and then I kill the rest.
No matter what happens, I want you to know that that's the way it's meant to be.
W-W-What about you, Bart? You You'll be fine no matter what? Yeah.
I don't get hurt.
I do think I'm gonna miss you, though.
Aaaaaah! Help me! John: I've been going through Mr.
Spring's effects and executing his final wishes according to his last will and testament.
He left this for you.
What's interesting is that his instructions were not to give it to you unless you were in the presence of someone named Dirk Gently.
Well, it's lucky I'm here then.
Oh, I doubt very much it's got to do with luck.
Patrick Spring rarely left anything of importance to chance.
When Patrick had me track you down he knew.
He knew he was going to die.
Do you know, I'm beginning to think he didn't hire me to prevent his murder at all.
I think he hired me to solve it.
Hmm "Three questions, one answer.
" What does that mean? Perhaps we should give the young lady a moment.
Get it together.
What are you looking at? What? I thought you were outside.
Why would I leave the room? All the good stuff is happening in here.
Were you and Patrick close? I've known him my entire life.
When Catherine was killed, my dad never recovered, and Patrick gave my life a lot of purpose, if that makes any sense.
And I don't [Sobbing.]
In three days, everything just suddenly went crazy, and I screwed it all up again! Patrick's dead, Lydia's gone.
I feel like a crazy confused failure talking to a Brit who keeps asking me questions that don't make sense! I am ineffectual and a generalized scramble of disappointment and incompetence.
No, no, listen [Sobs.]
- You're only some of those things.
- Oh, no! Ugh! [Sobbing.]
I need to go find Lydia.
No, we can't leave, not yet.
Why? Do you know something? I don't know anything, ever.
It's really quite relaxing.
But this is what I do, this is how I work.
I follow fate around.
It's how we found you.
I can't promise anything, but just give it a chance? Well, what do you want to do? I would start by opening that envelope.
" This doesn't look anything like you.
He's got the hair all wrong Um Farah? Um, what are you No, where are you Oh, it's a map! It's a map! I get it! Oh! Jesus Christ! Oh, thank God you're okay.
I just went shopping.
It's okay, it's okay.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
Everything's okay, I just I had a little flare-up, but I made it home in one piece.
Why are you so out of breath? How did you get here? I thought that your car was all beat up.
I ran, and then I I took the bus, and then I ran some more.
God, I was so worried.
I'm fine.
Phew! Where's Dirk? Wh-Where's Dirk? Yeah, I just I have to ask him about some stuff, 'cause some stuff happened.
You want to ask Dirk Gently about some stuff? I mean, isn't he the reason that all this weird stuff is happening? Wh What weird stuff? Everything.
Look, he he doesn't know anything.
The amount of stuff that he doesn't know is stupefying.
It would blow your mind.
Okay, but isn't that how he works? Like, as a detective? He is barely a detective.
Then why are you his assistant? I'm not There's something that you're not telling me.
Is there, like, a lot of stuff that you're not telling me? No, I No, there's just Look, I think maybe it's a good idea if you came to stay with me.
You want me to leave the house? You did already today, and and it was fine, right? No, it wasn't fine.
Well it was almost not fine.
Don't you remember what this was like? I-I-I'll call a cab.
I used to take cabs all the time when I still had attacks.
You'll stay with me.
It'll be great, I promise.
Here Farah, I think if we I know it's this way.
Farah? It's not I've got it, I've got an idea, I've got an idea.
Sorry, got it wrong.
It's down here.
It's definitely this way! That didn't work.
This is it.
Um Okay, you're a bit ahead of me now on this one.
What, laundry? Maybe it's Aha.
Nope, not in there.
What are we looking for? Do you know? It's a wall.
Was there something about this wall that was special to him? Did he enjoy walls? Did he ever mention a love for walls? Because that could be a clue.
Perhaps the person or people who killed Patrick Spring were rogue wall enthusiasts.
Aah! You hate these walls! Oh.
Give me the map.
Oh What is this place? This room was built into the foundation of the house.
It's been here since day one.
Patrick Spring didn't build this.
Zackariah Webb did.
What's that big electro thingy? Some kind of generator.
But this doesn't make any sense.
Patrick didn't know anything about technology.
How did you do that? With my hand.
What's this? "Edgar Spring.
" Who's that? Patrick's father.
But this is Patrick's handwriting.
"It started here.
It ends here.
Please save her.
" What is this thing? Very important.
"Please save her.
" Who does it save? Save, please Save her.
Save her.
Save her.
He must be talking about Lydia.
He planned this.
All of it.
But if Patrick knew this was going to happen, then why didn't he save himself? Dirk? I'm starting to think you're actually a pretty good detective.
- Bart! - Yeah? - Bart! Bart! - Ken? Please do something! Do anything! Something, please! It doesn't work like that.
Why? What? Oh, my God.
These are the ones that killed Jake? They don't look like professional hires.
Ken, is that a new guy? Who sent you? The Cavatos? I don't know who the Cavatos are.
Okay, she's crazy, all right? She killed him, not me.
I mean, I'm I'm just here.
She killed him.
She's the one, man! This is just noise.
I don't care.
You're gonna burn.
That new guy who just arrived? That's who we're waiting for.
Listen, please! Just get me down.
I'm not the guy you want.
She is, okay? This'll shut him up.
Do some Whoo! Aah! [Clicking.]
Put some clothes on.
You knew this was going to happen.
Well, not this, but something like this, sure.
It's real, isn't it? It's all real.
You really are who you say you are.
Some kind of killer angel.
Angel? I really am what I say I am.
I'm with you for a reason.
My life is is happening for a reason.
Maybe, yeah.
We have to find Dirk Gently.
We need to kill Dirk Gently.
You drive.
This is fun! See? That wasn't so bad, right? What happened to your lock? Oh, my Go What happened to your apartment? Uh, well, it Farah: Some kind of semiconductor or something.
Semiconductor? Like a, um Oh, God.
Hey, Dirk! Oh, hi, Amanda! Look, it's Amanda.
Amanda's fantastic.
You're fantastic.
Is this part of the case? - Yes, but - Dirk, why are you here? - We were waiting for you.
- Hey, Todd.
Oh, hi, Farah.
- What is this? - We don't know.
We think it's some sort of schematic of something.
Dirk, this is my apartment.
Oh, is that why you're here? It's a map.
It's another map.
A map lead us to a map! It's not a map.
It's one of those layers on maps that you can see on city government websites that show you utilities.
City government - I don't get out that much.
- Me neither.
This is an electrical grid, see? And those are power lines.
Oh, cool! No, this is really crazy.
Oh, my God, she's right.
Look, those are where the roads would be, and that's the Ridgely.
That's this building.
I'm Farah.
I'm Amanda.
Cool jacket.
It's all happening! Oh, for God's sakes.
Oh! Will you stop following me? I was just going down to get the magic lightbulb from my car.
Magic lightbulb?! Look, what did I tell you? Just Dirk, will you just get out of my apartment.
I told you it would bend back around to you, and now it has! - Give me a second.
- We're meant to know each other.
Now, I'm sick of having this conversation! There's a map in there with your bloody building right at the center of it.
I want your help.
This neighborhood the one we're in right now, it's called Springsborough.
Like Like Edgar Spring.
That was Patrick Spring's father, right? Springsborough.
It's not a coincidence, is it? No.
I'm certain we'll find that it's not.
You knew this was going to happen.
Not this, but something like this, yes.
It's real, isn't it? It's all real.
You really are what you say you are, some kind of holistic detective.
I'm trying.
Is this enough proof? Will you help me? Hello, Project Icarus.
Leave me alone.
Svlad, we need to talk.
That's not my name anymore.
- Dirk, then.
- I said, leave me alone! Friedkin! Friedkin, God damn it, get off of him! He was escaping.
You release him now, soldier, that's an order! [Grunts.]
Is this what you do now? You just attack people? Sorry, sir, I got confused.
He seems like a winner.
- Dirk, listen to me.
- Why, do you have new lies to tell me? We need you to come back in for debriefing.
Yes, why not, it's only been 16 years.
Black Wing is under review.
That's why we bailed you out when the police brought you in.
It's the least you can do.
The least I could do? This is in your best interest.
You promised them something, and you couldn't deliver.
You promised me something, and you couldn't deliver.
Dirk, I am not the enemy here.
And you're not a detective.
You're going to get yourself hurt or killed if you keep I am on a case! I have friends! A-And we found clues.
We're going to solve a mystery, a real one! And some people think I'm a pretty good detective! I'm trying to protect you.
I don't know what they'll do.
I don't care.
I don't need you.
Go back to hiding in the shadows.
It was the only thing you were ever good at.
[Breathes deeply.]
Do you want me to go get him? No.
Not now.
We'll try another angle.
You'll get them, sir.
All of them.
We have to.
Rimmer: I'm just here right now.
I'll get it going, and then I'll Doesn't look like anyone else has been here since we were here.
Yeah, there's a ton of bodies to clean up, but everything still works.
Bring him here.
And bring a mouse.
Woman on radio: cooler temperatures arrive after that.
47 for a high on Tuesday.
And now for the news.
A surprising update on the body discovered at the scene of the arson in Logan Heights this morning.
We now have information that the body has been identified - as that of Robert Wayne Terrio - Shut up.
better known to the public as beloved 1980s rock icon Lux DuJour, who went missing nearly two decades ago.
How DuJour came to be buried under the garage of a single-bedroom house Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! No! No! No! No! No! No! [Lydia whimpering.]
Oh, no It's not your fault, it's not your fault.
It's not your fault, I'm sorry.

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