Dirt (2006) s01e09 Episode Script
This is Not Your Father's Hostage Situation
I'm Don Konkey.
I'm a functional schizophrenic photographer for Dirt Now Magazine.
This is my best friend and editor, Lucy Spiller.
In last week's episode, Julia got a visit from Holt.
- Cold.
- She got cold chicken wings - Sorry.
- and an apology.
Lucy also got a visit from Holt.
She got, well - Choke me.
- something a little more personal.
And in this episode, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah happens.
Enjoy.
Wish we had surveillance footage from your work parking garage.
We could sprint right through to the finish line.
You don't really think vandals knocked out that camera.
Whoever did broke into two cars.
Could be a coincidence.
Or not.
We tried to trace the IP address from the IM you got, but it came from an unregistered server.
Any hack could've sent it.
Well, he left this in my paper this morning.
What makes you think it's a he? I don't know any woman who has that kind of time on her hands.
"Open your eyes wide.
It's the only way to see what you can't look at.
" This is a haiku, five syllables followed by seven, then five again.
- So I'm being stalked by a poet? - And not a very good one.
Haiku are usually about the seasons, nature, that sort of thing.
You're my security guy.
What do we do? Nothing.
- I don't need to worry about this? - Didn't say that.
People's biggest mistake is engaging these assholes.
That'll be his foot in the door.
This is about control.
Absolute control equals true love.
If you engage him in any manner, then it's game on for him.
Your rejection isn't complete if he's still screwing with your life.
I've been to parades with fewer people than your list of possible suspects.
If it were smaller, I'd be unemployed.
Let me whittle this down to ten, we'll go from there.
Do you know anyone with any kind of mental illness? Paranoia, schizophrenia, erotomania? A lot of stalkers have very rigid personalities.
- They're maladaptive.
- No.
No one springs to mind.
Excuse me.
- Hello.
- Um, have you heard the news? Let's save some time and assume that I haven't.
Your story on Dana Pritchard and Joey Perez's wedding.
It's been called off.
That's bullshit! I've approved $700,000 for their exclusive rights.
We've got three covers tied up in this! Dana's publicist called.
They're sending out a press release.
I'm on my way in.
I want you to get Don Konkey and everyone else.
Tell them to be in the conference room in 20 minutes.
Also call Dana and Joey's publicists.
Now, Kenny.
If these assholes screw up my cover, you'll have a few more names to put on that list.
Hey, baby.
Hey.
It's Daddy.
What're you doing? You being a good girl? Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun.
Well I have to go now.
Daddy loves you past the sun.
I love you the most.
Say bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Don't.
I don't want those.
Jimmy, they were here two days ago and she had a little of the ride over on her chin.
But I know that he's on a plane to Miami by himself.
Right, so there's an illness in her family and he goes on vacation.
OK, don't take this personally, but you're an idiot, which is not my objection.
My objection is that you would assume I would believe an idiot.
I want you to pull all the photos from the last 24 hours.
I want to know everywhere they've been.
Uh-huh.
OK, Jimmy? You better tell me the truth.
If I have to work to get it out, you ain't gonna like it.
All right, new story, "How it all Fell Apart.
" Well, I spoke with Dana's agent.
She's tap dancing like crazy.
Her sick relative was her aunt.
Then it was her grandmother.
They're dropping like flies in the Pritchard household, or they're flying by the seat of their pants.
Sounds like someone hit his fiancée again.
Spoke to Joey's people.
They've cornered the market on indignation.
So it's her? His agent says that all inquiries should be handled through Dana's people.
Let's do a little good cop/bad cop.
Terry and Willa, help Dana deal with her guilt.
You become buddies with the Perez camp.
See what you can get.
What job expenses a strip club? Why does it have to be a strip club? OK, we've got 24 hours.
You all know the drill.
Sorry.
It's just this just this damn medication.
It's all right, babe.
It's just nice to be next to you again.
God, I wish you didn't have to go.
It'll just be an hour, tops.
I'll clean out my trailer, then I'll be back.
You smell so good.
Are you sure there's nothing I can help you with? You like that? I have something you can do.
- Holt - Shh - Look - Did I say you could speak? No.
Is it still in your ass? Better be.
Meet me in the supply closet in 20 minutes.
Sammy Winter called again, said it was about a follow-up interview.
We've done enough stories on Sammy Winter and his futile attempt at rehab, his prostitutes, the trials and tribulations of being a child star.
So unless he's banging an Olsen twin or he has bought some ad space, I don't give a shit.
Johnny Gage is in your office.
Johnny Gage is in my office and you open with Sammy Winter? Way to bury a lead.
- What are you doing, Gage? - Just checking out the power seat.
And what do you want? Got a scoop on something I thought might interest you.
Joey Perez didn't call off the wedding.
Dana did.
No shit.
We're all over that.
What if I told you that Dana broke it off because she's switching to an all-carpet diet.
- I'd tell you to get to the point.
- OK.
First a little quid pro quota.
- Where's the love? - Come again? Johnny Gage has disappeared from the pages of Dirt Now.
What's with that? I guess we ran out of ways to tell about you screwing strippers.
- I want a cover.
- And I want a private jet.
Dirt Now is not going to blow you over some half-assed speculation.
Trust me.
This is full-assed.
She was supposed to meet him for lunch yesterday.
Totally blew him off.
Called him from the chick's cell phone.
- Hope Duggan? - Yep.
Dude's major messed up over this.
She's not even that good-looking.
I, uh, did her once in the parking lot of Whole Foods.
Shit.
We had it right the whole time.
Dana said she thought about it and would rather lose her career than Hope.
I was so ahead of the curve on this one.
I was at their house, and their TiVo was all, like, Ellen shows.
I gotta take this.
Give your story to Terry.
What about my cover? I'll work on it.
Shut the door.
Hold on one second.
Who's Terry? Hello.
Hey.
Movie's wrapped.
Oh, great.
Just in time for Julia's homecoming.
- How is she? - She's OK, I guess.
- What is it you want, Holt? - I don't know.
- Well, call me when you do.
- No, no, wait, Lucy! - Look, I need to see you.
- Why? Does it have to be like this? I need to hear it.
All you need to do is ask, Holt.
Look, I can't stop thinking about you.
You know, it's like you're in my head all the time.
You know I need to be with you.
You mean inside of me? Yeah.
I can't.
I have a lot of work to do.
Call me later.
Hi.
What's with the ugly luggage? It's little Tristan.
He's having trouble peeing.
He's got a vet's appointment in an hour.
- Are you feeding him wet or dry? - Mainly dry.
- What's the ash content? - What are you talking about? I took veterinary medicine before switching to journalism.
High contents of ash can usually cause feline urologic syndrome.
It's basically the blockage of the urinary tract.
It's very common in male cats.
How's the stool? I've got some in the car.
Take a look? Yeah, it'd be a pleasure.
That's great.
That's money well spent.
Hey, Don, I need you to cover Hope Duggan's hangouts.
- Again? - Again.
Move! Move! Back off! Stay down! Get back! - There's a man with a gun! - Down! Get back.
Hey, Lucy.
- Yah! - Get down, you stupid-looking bastard! Back off! Back off! Get down! Down! Down! Get down! Back off, buddy! That's right.
Get down! Look away! Everybody back off.
Hi, Lucy.
In the future, when Sammy Winter calls, it's best you take it.
Listen up! Everybody! I want all your cell phones, Blackberries, whatever you got, communication device in this basket now! Come on! Give it to me! Put it in here! Come on, hurry up! Hurry up! Come on.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Good boy.
Come on! Give it to me.
Come on, give it up! Hurry up! Give it to me.
Very good.
OK.
Give it to me.
You, both.
No one moves.
Good job.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Very good.
OK.
All the exits have been padlocked.
So everybody just get comfy.
Get comfy.
Everybody does exactly as they're told, no one will get hurt, got that? No one gets hurt.
If anybody wants to get cute, I've got enough explosives here to blow us all into pizza toppings.
- Are we clear?! - Yes.
Everybody's clear, right? OK.
All the exits are padlocked.
The only way out is through the bullpen.
- Did he shoot anybody? - I don't think so.
- That was to get their attention.
- What is your plan? My plan is for us to be as quiet as church mice until this is over.
Hiding while others may die is not a plan.
Neither is rushing a gunman from - You OK? - Maybe you can create a diversion.
Or maybe we can sit here like I just said and let this thing play out.
American men, you have no balls.
Hey.
- Hey, buddy, buddy.
- I'm OK.
Buddy.
I know you're pissed, buddy.
But I will blow your brains out.
I'm OK.
Don, goddamn it, look at me! - Go ahead, Don.
Come on.
- I'm OK.
- Do you understand? - Go ahead, Don.
- Do you understand? - Give me that ice.
- Sweetheart, give me your blouse.
- What? I need it to wrap the ice.
Come on! - You can have my shirt.
- Thanks, buddy.
That much cologne that close to her face will cause brain damage.
Give it to me, princess.
Give it to me! Come on! Here you go.
OK.
Put this on here.
I'm sorry.
OK? I had to let everyone know that I mean business.
OK? Take out the ram, the sheep fall into place.
All right? Seriously, though, would it have killed you to call me back? Who are you?! Look at this guy.
Look at this guy.
Who is this guy? Don't you hate that? He's gonna pretend that he doesn't know who I am.
Because God forbid you should give me the satisfaction of your acknowledgment.
His name is Sammy Winter.
He's a former child star from Buster Rules.
That's right.
'81 through '89, Buster Rules.
Two-time People's Choice winner? Ring a bell, buddy? Remember? Jesus Christ, this guy's a Sammy, what is it that you want? I want you to keep your promise.
That's what I want.
I want you to keep your promise.
- Meaning? - Meaning? 1989.
Buster Rules about to wrap a nine-year run as a perennial top-20 show, that's right.
I pick a young go-getter named Lucy Spiller, yeah, at TV Guide, I pick her over all the others to do my exclusive.
Ring a bell, Lucy? Of course it does.
I was gonna do a cover.
And you said you owed me.
Those were your words, Lucy.
Your words.
You owe me.
Well, I'm here to collect.
Company.
Beautiful.
- Company.
Come on, sweetie.
- Don, please, please! - Please, Don.
- It's OK.
Back up.
It's going to be OK.
Thank you for the shirt.
Do you really think everything's going to be all right? Absolutely.
Let's go.
Come on.
Keep coming.
We don't have time! We're going to have to find a way to make enough time.
I mean, who's your cover this month? Who is it? Oh! Joey Perez and Dana Pritchard? That's crap, man! I've shat things more interesting than those two.
Do a story on me dedicated to Sammy Winter.
OK? What I'm really like, how I'm the most misunderstood person in Hollywood.
We can touch on my alcoholism, the infidelities.
We'll do the whole story behind the story.
- The whole thing, a beautiful cover.
- Excuse me.
Johnny Gage! No way! Dude! Dude.
Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Gage in the house! Dude! Good to see you, dude.
You look great.
Great.
- Thank you.
Thanks, man.
- Got a movie going, right, big movie? This guy was on my show, my radio show, you remember that? Sure.
Great show.
How's it going? I got fired yesterday.
Do you believe that shit? And they kept on that talentless bitch, man.
She was about as entertaining as a pledge drive.
I'm so sorry, man.
I'm working on this new movie, and I got a meeting.
I was wondering if I could, you know, go, and Dude, you're Johnny Gage.
Thank you.
Thanks, man.
They'll reschedule.
Sit down.
Come on, let's start Sammy, let him go, let half of these people go.
- What are they gonna do, call the cops? - No.
Everybody stays.
Look, no disrespect, man, but she's right.
What've any of us ever done to you? You stopped caring.
Why do you carry on with this one? He has no character.
- We're just co-workers.
- Shh, shh, shh.
What, you were in a meeting when I walked in? Please.
Who do you think cleans up after you at night, the condom fairy? - What's your name? - Maria.
How original.
Maria, shut the hell up.
Is it hard to hear that you're a coward? Sitting there with your knees in your chest like a fetus.
- Why do you give it away to this? - Could you just shut up? I can tell a lot about a man from his office.
Your friend has no photos.
No girlfriend, wife, no smiling children watching him from inside the frame while he does his work.
Just things, nothing that tells us why he's here.
Willa, what's the matter? - I can't breathe! - Shh! Willa.
She's claustrophobia.
Breathe.
What? I really liked that piece you did on sneaker freaks.
Thanks.
I'm a total sneaker freak.
I waited in line 36 hours for these limited edition SB Dunks.
I'm a Converse gal.
SBs are cool, though.
- Afghanistan to California - "Who are your biggest influences? What was your favorite episode of Buster Rules?" No one's going to want to read this.
The situation at Dirt Now is in its third hour We just got picked up national.
This is my white Bronco.
In addition to having several firearms, Winter is believed to have a bomb strapped to his body, making the negotiators' strategy that much more difficult.
Thanks.
We have more information on what is being referred to as the Sammy Winter saga.
The controversial editor of the tabloid Dirt Now, Lucy Spiller, is confirmed as one of the hostages inside the building.
Sammy Winter, 38, started in television at the age of 6 Six years old.
Shh, shh shh! Quiet, quiet, quiet, listen.
He parlayed that into several '70s Movies of the Week.
How does it feel to be part of television history, huh, people? This is great! - Confessions of a Thalidomide Baby.
- I love that movie.
- I was great.
Very good.
- I've got a deal for you.
I'm all ears.
What do you got? Let's scrap the bullshit questions.
You let me tell the first-person story from inside the crisis, and I will give you the mother of all covers.
- OK.
But what's the Sammy angle? - A one-on-one with me.
"Everything you wanted to know about Sammy Winter but were afraid to ask.
" Good.
Good stuff.
One-on-one with Sammy Winter.
Eight pages, full spreads and a second sidebar reporting from inside the siege.
Let me do my job the way I know how, and I will make you a star.
Sweetheart, I am a star.
You just need to remind people.
OK? Come on! We've got a magazine to put out.
Come on! Do your magazine thing, whatever you guys do.
Let's do it! Good stuff.
Very good, Lucy.
- What do you like about me? - You're shitting me, right? - No, I want to know.
What do you like? - Jeez, Willa, I don't know.
You are warm and have no standards.
Your ass is so out the door when this is over.
Am I wrong? A pale girl with your eyes shut and legs open.
You are candy.
Nothing more.
Your assumption is arrogant, and your face is starting to piss me off.
Besides, I'm the one in control.
He's the one with the three-inch butt plug in his ass.
He dared me to take it to the next level, right, honey? Oh, my God Everything but the cover story has to be locked and out of the building by 9:00.
I want a splashy cover.
I want you to go to the photo shop.
Pull pictures of Sammy from different points in his career.
- That's a good idea.
- All right, where is McPherson? - I think she got out.
- Lucky her.
All right, Naomi, let's hold off the "Anorexia in Hollywood" piece.
And ask makeup if there are any filler ads that we can drop.
- Don? - Hurry up.
- I want you staying with me.
- I'm going to need to develop the film.
What do you mean, develop? Can't you use digital or something? No.
Only film.
- He's not right, is he? - He's the best there is.
He's going to need access to the photo lab, which is on the second floor.
OK.
You know, Don, I trust you.
You only look stupid.
I bet you there's a whole lot of shit going on up there in the attic.
Yeah? Oh, I'm on TV.
I'm going to need a tape recorder.
And someone get me some food.
Lucy.
Lucy, I need to leave.
I don't know if you've noticed, but there's a guy with a gun who's calling the shots.
Talk to him.
I gotta go.
I feel sick.
Gage.
Gage.
- What's up, dude? - I need to go.
You know what movie you're great in? The Deal.
You remember that one? You're the hostage negotiator, you play by your own rules.
That movie rocked, dude.
Critics panned it.
It grossed over $200 million worldwide.
The critics, what do they know? Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit down.
I wanna ask you something.
Sit down.
Listen I may need help with the end of this one, you know what I mean? It'd be great to have you on as a consultant.
Winter is said to have enough dynamite strapped to his body to level the entire building.
That is a direct quote from Winter himself.
And though there is no proof validating that claim God, this is awful.
Y eah.
They've shut Wilshire down all the way to San Vincente.
- Is that for tonight? - Yeah.
I'm a little nervous.
Yeah, screw it.
Let's just stay here.
Come on, it's your wrap party.
We have to go.
I just - Never mind.
- What? For Channel 15 News, I'm Ray Gerrera Just say it.
The tape The tape of me and It's out there, and I don't know who's seen it or who has it.
No one's seen it.
Listen, I promise you.
How do you know that? I don't even understand how you saw it.
And you won't talk to me about who Just just trust me.
But how how come I have to trust you? Why can't you just tell me? Who are you trying to protect, Holt? Because it sure doesn't feel like me.
Listen to me.
You know I'll always take care of you.
Come on, you know that, babe.
Why don't you slip into that little dress and you and me are gonna have a good time.
Spiller, known throughout Hollywood as one of the most powerful people in the art I had a head cold when we filmed that.
So I spent the whole day in looping trying to get my dialogue intelligible, you know? And I went home, and my mom was like "Dad's gone.
" He cleaned us out.
Just took off.
Like like he checked out of a hotel.
- Did you ever see him again? - Nope.
Uncle got a letter from him a couple of years ago, but Do you have any idea what it's like to lose the compass in your life, to have them just split like that? Nothing left to exonerate you, just split you know? Leaving you to fill in the blanks.
You know, I can forgive the guy for taking off, taking every last penny.
It's just the cruelty that I'm having trouble coming to terms with.
He must've really just hated us.
It's not his hate.
It's his indifference.
Indifference is worse.
And now, with live breaking news, we go back to the scene.
There has been little contact with Sammy since the early moments of the siege.
Negotiators say this one may drag on for at least a day or two.
Since the cancellation of Sammy Winter's That perm was a big, big mistake.
- Hmm.
Nice perm.
- T ell me about it.
God.
I don't know, I love her, but I'm not in love with her, you know? Yeah, totally.
It's like you can't live your life for someone else, you know? I'm always gonna be there for the kid, and stuff and God, I feel like such a loser saying that.
You are not a loser.
- Look at me.
- I am looking.
And I see a sexy, sweet, nice guy that anybody would be lucky to have.
- I don't have a shot yet.
- This one's pretty good.
That's not it.
I'll get it, though.
I know you will.
You feel bad for him, don't you? I'm just concerned about getting us out of here safely.
When I was growing up, we used to have this poodle called Frenchie.
Frenchie? Whenever my dad would come home, he'd walk past me and mom and go play with the dog like we weren't even there.
He tried his best.
He was the one that got me into wearing hats.
He wore hats all the time.
When he'd come home drunk, he'd say the best way to sober up is put on your hat.
It reminded him of when he used to be somebody.
I bought him this hat, but he never wore it.
I love hats.
You thinking about your dad? I was at a friend's house before I came home and found him.
I'd had a cigarette.
My first and only one.
I remember being so scared that my dad was going to smell it on me, that I walked home, and I was just trying to get the smoke out of my hair.
And when I saw him hanging there, I actually thought for one second that God was punishing me for smoking.
I think sometimes life is too small for dads.
In front ofDirt Now Magazine, I'm Ray Gerrera.
Back to you, Chet.
Pretty messed up, huh? It really sucks.
They were going to do a story about my work rescuing dogs.
- Do you think they'll still do it? - What? My rescue work with dogs.
Do you think they'll do the story? You know, provided they don't all get shot? It's just something that I'm really passionate about, you know? No idea.
You know, you got hard during one of our love scenes.
What are you talking about? No, I didn't.
The one where I was riding you.
I could feel it.
I pushed a little harder so it'd feel good for you.
Well, and me.
Man.
Dude.
Dude! A cat? You take pictures of a cat when you've got me right here? I'm waiting for the right moment.
Oh.
I got dogs, four of them.
I'm a dog man, myself.
What's its name? Tristan.
Dude, you gotta get a dog.
Cats are for, you know, those kinda guys.
I like cats.
Cats are quiet and loving and they they know when to give you your space.
I say it's dogs all the way.
That's because you're a narcissist.
You can't live without excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation.
Dogs will give you that.
Their love is how you'd like to perceive yourself as seen by others.
Oh, really? Most likely a result of your bitter disappointment and radical disillusionment with significant others during childhood.
- Anything else, Freud? - Four dogs is a lot.
Bang.
Thank you.
There's definite interest from USA Network to do a put pilot.
They're flattered you would consider it, since you just worked with Johnny Shit-For-Brains - Cheryl, do you love your husband? - Pardon? Your husband, do you still love him? Yeah.
Of course.
Are you OK? My father has diabetes.
Years ago he told my mother he couldn't screw her anymore because of complications with the disease, and for years she took what she could get from him in that department.
Last year he dumped her for his mistress of 15 years.
Julia, honey, is there something I should know? My mother said that it just came out of left field when he told her, but I knew.
- You know how? - No.
His cards, they were always humorous.
His birthday, anniversary, holiday.
He could pull it off in the moment, but something tangible, something that my mother could hold in her hands as proof.
I'm going to take a cab.
- Wait, Julia - I'm fine, all right? Just tell Holt I don't feel well.
I'll see him at home.
OK.
Shit.
- Hey, Terry.
- Lucy needs I have to go.
Hey, can I get something to drink? with little new to report.
Television and radio personality Sammy Winters believed - to be holding the staff of Dirt - Kenny.
- Can you go get me a drink? - Can you give me one second? - What'd you say? - Oh, we're just finishing up.
Drinks are in the fridge right over there.
Oh, OK, no problem.
I'll go get the drink.
That's a really good one, use that one.
Oh, uh, Kenny? Wow.
Oh, my God, Kenny! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Oh, my God, he killed Kenny! OK.
You like that? What happened? What happened? You're the negotiator, what do you think happens when a gun goes off in a hostage situation?! Somebody dies! OK? We are losing the focus here.
The focus is me! Me! OK? I want respect! And I want it now! I got enough explosives wrapped to my waist to flatten the whole city block! So back off! You back off! Sammy.
What is it that you want? What I want is for these people to listen to me! Don't act like I don't exist! You go on with your lives! I'm here.
Goddamn it! I'm still here! What are you doing? I'm mixing chemicals to throw them in his face.
- That is insane.
- Maybe she's right.
No, you're both hopped up on Spic and Span.
Trust me on this one.
There's nothing we can do.
You have been a coward too long.
You have outlived your relevance.
You want to get your head blown off, that's fine by me.
Some of us might like to live to see their next birthday.
- Why? What will happen then? - I said sit, old woman.
You are not the captain of this ship.
You've proved that.
Willa! Wait.
All right, that's enough! Goddamn it! No one pistol-whips Johnny Gage.
Really, Johnny? Because I just did, bitch.
- Shoot him! - You'd better freeze, man! Come on, shoot me! - Shoot him, goddamn it! - Shoot me, come on.
Come on! Shoot me! Shoot me, pussy.
You pussy! Do it! I will, I swear.
I swear Shoot me! Shoot me! Shoot me! Do it.
Do it, you pussy.
You screwed me, Lucy.
You screwed me.
You were never going to run the story! Never.
Never.
Never! - I don't know why I trusted you.
- Wait! You kill her, and your story dies.
I got no other motivation to stop you other than that.
No one will give your story justice like Lucy Spiller.
Come on, you've come this far.
Sammy, hey.
Come on, Sammy.
Let me do it.
Let me do it.
Come on, Sammy.
Let me do it.
Let her put you on the cover.
You can trust me.
Come on, Sammy.
Let me take care of you.
- Come on.
- OK.
OK.
Come on.
You do it.
Come on.
Back to work.
Back to work.
We're gonna do the magazine! Let's do it.
Let's get back to work.
Back to work! We heard shots fired.
Was anyone injured? - We have confirmed one casualty.
- Do you know the identity? Yes, a male employee has been fatally shot.
We're awaiting notification of his relatives before we release his name.
Normally, in a situation like this, we would advance on the building, but he has explosives It's moving into day three of the standoff, and we 're waiting to see if Sammy will turn himself in Oh, it's beautiful.
Beautiful.
It's better than I dreamed.
- We did it.
- No.
You did it.
No.
This is us.
Us.
We shouldn't have to work that hard for love.
Boom.
- We love you, Sammy! - I love you! Would you please leave us alone? - Lucy, tell us what it was like.
- This is not the time! Holt, come to bed.
Be right there.
I'm a functional schizophrenic photographer for Dirt Now Magazine.
This is my best friend and editor, Lucy Spiller.
In last week's episode, Julia got a visit from Holt.
- Cold.
- She got cold chicken wings - Sorry.
- and an apology.
Lucy also got a visit from Holt.
She got, well - Choke me.
- something a little more personal.
And in this episode, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah happens.
Enjoy.
Wish we had surveillance footage from your work parking garage.
We could sprint right through to the finish line.
You don't really think vandals knocked out that camera.
Whoever did broke into two cars.
Could be a coincidence.
Or not.
We tried to trace the IP address from the IM you got, but it came from an unregistered server.
Any hack could've sent it.
Well, he left this in my paper this morning.
What makes you think it's a he? I don't know any woman who has that kind of time on her hands.
"Open your eyes wide.
It's the only way to see what you can't look at.
" This is a haiku, five syllables followed by seven, then five again.
- So I'm being stalked by a poet? - And not a very good one.
Haiku are usually about the seasons, nature, that sort of thing.
You're my security guy.
What do we do? Nothing.
- I don't need to worry about this? - Didn't say that.
People's biggest mistake is engaging these assholes.
That'll be his foot in the door.
This is about control.
Absolute control equals true love.
If you engage him in any manner, then it's game on for him.
Your rejection isn't complete if he's still screwing with your life.
I've been to parades with fewer people than your list of possible suspects.
If it were smaller, I'd be unemployed.
Let me whittle this down to ten, we'll go from there.
Do you know anyone with any kind of mental illness? Paranoia, schizophrenia, erotomania? A lot of stalkers have very rigid personalities.
- They're maladaptive.
- No.
No one springs to mind.
Excuse me.
- Hello.
- Um, have you heard the news? Let's save some time and assume that I haven't.
Your story on Dana Pritchard and Joey Perez's wedding.
It's been called off.
That's bullshit! I've approved $700,000 for their exclusive rights.
We've got three covers tied up in this! Dana's publicist called.
They're sending out a press release.
I'm on my way in.
I want you to get Don Konkey and everyone else.
Tell them to be in the conference room in 20 minutes.
Also call Dana and Joey's publicists.
Now, Kenny.
If these assholes screw up my cover, you'll have a few more names to put on that list.
Hey, baby.
Hey.
It's Daddy.
What're you doing? You being a good girl? Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun.
Well I have to go now.
Daddy loves you past the sun.
I love you the most.
Say bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Don't.
I don't want those.
Jimmy, they were here two days ago and she had a little of the ride over on her chin.
But I know that he's on a plane to Miami by himself.
Right, so there's an illness in her family and he goes on vacation.
OK, don't take this personally, but you're an idiot, which is not my objection.
My objection is that you would assume I would believe an idiot.
I want you to pull all the photos from the last 24 hours.
I want to know everywhere they've been.
Uh-huh.
OK, Jimmy? You better tell me the truth.
If I have to work to get it out, you ain't gonna like it.
All right, new story, "How it all Fell Apart.
" Well, I spoke with Dana's agent.
She's tap dancing like crazy.
Her sick relative was her aunt.
Then it was her grandmother.
They're dropping like flies in the Pritchard household, or they're flying by the seat of their pants.
Sounds like someone hit his fiancée again.
Spoke to Joey's people.
They've cornered the market on indignation.
So it's her? His agent says that all inquiries should be handled through Dana's people.
Let's do a little good cop/bad cop.
Terry and Willa, help Dana deal with her guilt.
You become buddies with the Perez camp.
See what you can get.
What job expenses a strip club? Why does it have to be a strip club? OK, we've got 24 hours.
You all know the drill.
Sorry.
It's just this just this damn medication.
It's all right, babe.
It's just nice to be next to you again.
God, I wish you didn't have to go.
It'll just be an hour, tops.
I'll clean out my trailer, then I'll be back.
You smell so good.
Are you sure there's nothing I can help you with? You like that? I have something you can do.
- Holt - Shh - Look - Did I say you could speak? No.
Is it still in your ass? Better be.
Meet me in the supply closet in 20 minutes.
Sammy Winter called again, said it was about a follow-up interview.
We've done enough stories on Sammy Winter and his futile attempt at rehab, his prostitutes, the trials and tribulations of being a child star.
So unless he's banging an Olsen twin or he has bought some ad space, I don't give a shit.
Johnny Gage is in your office.
Johnny Gage is in my office and you open with Sammy Winter? Way to bury a lead.
- What are you doing, Gage? - Just checking out the power seat.
And what do you want? Got a scoop on something I thought might interest you.
Joey Perez didn't call off the wedding.
Dana did.
No shit.
We're all over that.
What if I told you that Dana broke it off because she's switching to an all-carpet diet.
- I'd tell you to get to the point.
- OK.
First a little quid pro quota.
- Where's the love? - Come again? Johnny Gage has disappeared from the pages of Dirt Now.
What's with that? I guess we ran out of ways to tell about you screwing strippers.
- I want a cover.
- And I want a private jet.
Dirt Now is not going to blow you over some half-assed speculation.
Trust me.
This is full-assed.
She was supposed to meet him for lunch yesterday.
Totally blew him off.
Called him from the chick's cell phone.
- Hope Duggan? - Yep.
Dude's major messed up over this.
She's not even that good-looking.
I, uh, did her once in the parking lot of Whole Foods.
Shit.
We had it right the whole time.
Dana said she thought about it and would rather lose her career than Hope.
I was so ahead of the curve on this one.
I was at their house, and their TiVo was all, like, Ellen shows.
I gotta take this.
Give your story to Terry.
What about my cover? I'll work on it.
Shut the door.
Hold on one second.
Who's Terry? Hello.
Hey.
Movie's wrapped.
Oh, great.
Just in time for Julia's homecoming.
- How is she? - She's OK, I guess.
- What is it you want, Holt? - I don't know.
- Well, call me when you do.
- No, no, wait, Lucy! - Look, I need to see you.
- Why? Does it have to be like this? I need to hear it.
All you need to do is ask, Holt.
Look, I can't stop thinking about you.
You know, it's like you're in my head all the time.
You know I need to be with you.
You mean inside of me? Yeah.
I can't.
I have a lot of work to do.
Call me later.
Hi.
What's with the ugly luggage? It's little Tristan.
He's having trouble peeing.
He's got a vet's appointment in an hour.
- Are you feeding him wet or dry? - Mainly dry.
- What's the ash content? - What are you talking about? I took veterinary medicine before switching to journalism.
High contents of ash can usually cause feline urologic syndrome.
It's basically the blockage of the urinary tract.
It's very common in male cats.
How's the stool? I've got some in the car.
Take a look? Yeah, it'd be a pleasure.
That's great.
That's money well spent.
Hey, Don, I need you to cover Hope Duggan's hangouts.
- Again? - Again.
Move! Move! Back off! Stay down! Get back! - There's a man with a gun! - Down! Get back.
Hey, Lucy.
- Yah! - Get down, you stupid-looking bastard! Back off! Back off! Get down! Down! Down! Get down! Back off, buddy! That's right.
Get down! Look away! Everybody back off.
Hi, Lucy.
In the future, when Sammy Winter calls, it's best you take it.
Listen up! Everybody! I want all your cell phones, Blackberries, whatever you got, communication device in this basket now! Come on! Give it to me! Put it in here! Come on, hurry up! Hurry up! Come on.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Good boy.
Come on! Give it to me.
Come on, give it up! Hurry up! Give it to me.
Very good.
OK.
Give it to me.
You, both.
No one moves.
Good job.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Very good.
OK.
All the exits have been padlocked.
So everybody just get comfy.
Get comfy.
Everybody does exactly as they're told, no one will get hurt, got that? No one gets hurt.
If anybody wants to get cute, I've got enough explosives here to blow us all into pizza toppings.
- Are we clear?! - Yes.
Everybody's clear, right? OK.
All the exits are padlocked.
The only way out is through the bullpen.
- Did he shoot anybody? - I don't think so.
- That was to get their attention.
- What is your plan? My plan is for us to be as quiet as church mice until this is over.
Hiding while others may die is not a plan.
Neither is rushing a gunman from - You OK? - Maybe you can create a diversion.
Or maybe we can sit here like I just said and let this thing play out.
American men, you have no balls.
Hey.
- Hey, buddy, buddy.
- I'm OK.
Buddy.
I know you're pissed, buddy.
But I will blow your brains out.
I'm OK.
Don, goddamn it, look at me! - Go ahead, Don.
Come on.
- I'm OK.
- Do you understand? - Go ahead, Don.
- Do you understand? - Give me that ice.
- Sweetheart, give me your blouse.
- What? I need it to wrap the ice.
Come on! - You can have my shirt.
- Thanks, buddy.
That much cologne that close to her face will cause brain damage.
Give it to me, princess.
Give it to me! Come on! Here you go.
OK.
Put this on here.
I'm sorry.
OK? I had to let everyone know that I mean business.
OK? Take out the ram, the sheep fall into place.
All right? Seriously, though, would it have killed you to call me back? Who are you?! Look at this guy.
Look at this guy.
Who is this guy? Don't you hate that? He's gonna pretend that he doesn't know who I am.
Because God forbid you should give me the satisfaction of your acknowledgment.
His name is Sammy Winter.
He's a former child star from Buster Rules.
That's right.
'81 through '89, Buster Rules.
Two-time People's Choice winner? Ring a bell, buddy? Remember? Jesus Christ, this guy's a Sammy, what is it that you want? I want you to keep your promise.
That's what I want.
I want you to keep your promise.
- Meaning? - Meaning? 1989.
Buster Rules about to wrap a nine-year run as a perennial top-20 show, that's right.
I pick a young go-getter named Lucy Spiller, yeah, at TV Guide, I pick her over all the others to do my exclusive.
Ring a bell, Lucy? Of course it does.
I was gonna do a cover.
And you said you owed me.
Those were your words, Lucy.
Your words.
You owe me.
Well, I'm here to collect.
Company.
Beautiful.
- Company.
Come on, sweetie.
- Don, please, please! - Please, Don.
- It's OK.
Back up.
It's going to be OK.
Thank you for the shirt.
Do you really think everything's going to be all right? Absolutely.
Let's go.
Come on.
Keep coming.
We don't have time! We're going to have to find a way to make enough time.
I mean, who's your cover this month? Who is it? Oh! Joey Perez and Dana Pritchard? That's crap, man! I've shat things more interesting than those two.
Do a story on me dedicated to Sammy Winter.
OK? What I'm really like, how I'm the most misunderstood person in Hollywood.
We can touch on my alcoholism, the infidelities.
We'll do the whole story behind the story.
- The whole thing, a beautiful cover.
- Excuse me.
Johnny Gage! No way! Dude! Dude.
Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Gage in the house! Dude! Good to see you, dude.
You look great.
Great.
- Thank you.
Thanks, man.
- Got a movie going, right, big movie? This guy was on my show, my radio show, you remember that? Sure.
Great show.
How's it going? I got fired yesterday.
Do you believe that shit? And they kept on that talentless bitch, man.
She was about as entertaining as a pledge drive.
I'm so sorry, man.
I'm working on this new movie, and I got a meeting.
I was wondering if I could, you know, go, and Dude, you're Johnny Gage.
Thank you.
Thanks, man.
They'll reschedule.
Sit down.
Come on, let's start Sammy, let him go, let half of these people go.
- What are they gonna do, call the cops? - No.
Everybody stays.
Look, no disrespect, man, but she's right.
What've any of us ever done to you? You stopped caring.
Why do you carry on with this one? He has no character.
- We're just co-workers.
- Shh, shh, shh.
What, you were in a meeting when I walked in? Please.
Who do you think cleans up after you at night, the condom fairy? - What's your name? - Maria.
How original.
Maria, shut the hell up.
Is it hard to hear that you're a coward? Sitting there with your knees in your chest like a fetus.
- Why do you give it away to this? - Could you just shut up? I can tell a lot about a man from his office.
Your friend has no photos.
No girlfriend, wife, no smiling children watching him from inside the frame while he does his work.
Just things, nothing that tells us why he's here.
Willa, what's the matter? - I can't breathe! - Shh! Willa.
She's claustrophobia.
Breathe.
What? I really liked that piece you did on sneaker freaks.
Thanks.
I'm a total sneaker freak.
I waited in line 36 hours for these limited edition SB Dunks.
I'm a Converse gal.
SBs are cool, though.
- Afghanistan to California - "Who are your biggest influences? What was your favorite episode of Buster Rules?" No one's going to want to read this.
The situation at Dirt Now is in its third hour We just got picked up national.
This is my white Bronco.
In addition to having several firearms, Winter is believed to have a bomb strapped to his body, making the negotiators' strategy that much more difficult.
Thanks.
We have more information on what is being referred to as the Sammy Winter saga.
The controversial editor of the tabloid Dirt Now, Lucy Spiller, is confirmed as one of the hostages inside the building.
Sammy Winter, 38, started in television at the age of 6 Six years old.
Shh, shh shh! Quiet, quiet, quiet, listen.
He parlayed that into several '70s Movies of the Week.
How does it feel to be part of television history, huh, people? This is great! - Confessions of a Thalidomide Baby.
- I love that movie.
- I was great.
Very good.
- I've got a deal for you.
I'm all ears.
What do you got? Let's scrap the bullshit questions.
You let me tell the first-person story from inside the crisis, and I will give you the mother of all covers.
- OK.
But what's the Sammy angle? - A one-on-one with me.
"Everything you wanted to know about Sammy Winter but were afraid to ask.
" Good.
Good stuff.
One-on-one with Sammy Winter.
Eight pages, full spreads and a second sidebar reporting from inside the siege.
Let me do my job the way I know how, and I will make you a star.
Sweetheart, I am a star.
You just need to remind people.
OK? Come on! We've got a magazine to put out.
Come on! Do your magazine thing, whatever you guys do.
Let's do it! Good stuff.
Very good, Lucy.
- What do you like about me? - You're shitting me, right? - No, I want to know.
What do you like? - Jeez, Willa, I don't know.
You are warm and have no standards.
Your ass is so out the door when this is over.
Am I wrong? A pale girl with your eyes shut and legs open.
You are candy.
Nothing more.
Your assumption is arrogant, and your face is starting to piss me off.
Besides, I'm the one in control.
He's the one with the three-inch butt plug in his ass.
He dared me to take it to the next level, right, honey? Oh, my God Everything but the cover story has to be locked and out of the building by 9:00.
I want a splashy cover.
I want you to go to the photo shop.
Pull pictures of Sammy from different points in his career.
- That's a good idea.
- All right, where is McPherson? - I think she got out.
- Lucky her.
All right, Naomi, let's hold off the "Anorexia in Hollywood" piece.
And ask makeup if there are any filler ads that we can drop.
- Don? - Hurry up.
- I want you staying with me.
- I'm going to need to develop the film.
What do you mean, develop? Can't you use digital or something? No.
Only film.
- He's not right, is he? - He's the best there is.
He's going to need access to the photo lab, which is on the second floor.
OK.
You know, Don, I trust you.
You only look stupid.
I bet you there's a whole lot of shit going on up there in the attic.
Yeah? Oh, I'm on TV.
I'm going to need a tape recorder.
And someone get me some food.
Lucy.
Lucy, I need to leave.
I don't know if you've noticed, but there's a guy with a gun who's calling the shots.
Talk to him.
I gotta go.
I feel sick.
Gage.
Gage.
- What's up, dude? - I need to go.
You know what movie you're great in? The Deal.
You remember that one? You're the hostage negotiator, you play by your own rules.
That movie rocked, dude.
Critics panned it.
It grossed over $200 million worldwide.
The critics, what do they know? Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit down.
I wanna ask you something.
Sit down.
Listen I may need help with the end of this one, you know what I mean? It'd be great to have you on as a consultant.
Winter is said to have enough dynamite strapped to his body to level the entire building.
That is a direct quote from Winter himself.
And though there is no proof validating that claim God, this is awful.
Y eah.
They've shut Wilshire down all the way to San Vincente.
- Is that for tonight? - Yeah.
I'm a little nervous.
Yeah, screw it.
Let's just stay here.
Come on, it's your wrap party.
We have to go.
I just - Never mind.
- What? For Channel 15 News, I'm Ray Gerrera Just say it.
The tape The tape of me and It's out there, and I don't know who's seen it or who has it.
No one's seen it.
Listen, I promise you.
How do you know that? I don't even understand how you saw it.
And you won't talk to me about who Just just trust me.
But how how come I have to trust you? Why can't you just tell me? Who are you trying to protect, Holt? Because it sure doesn't feel like me.
Listen to me.
You know I'll always take care of you.
Come on, you know that, babe.
Why don't you slip into that little dress and you and me are gonna have a good time.
Spiller, known throughout Hollywood as one of the most powerful people in the art I had a head cold when we filmed that.
So I spent the whole day in looping trying to get my dialogue intelligible, you know? And I went home, and my mom was like "Dad's gone.
" He cleaned us out.
Just took off.
Like like he checked out of a hotel.
- Did you ever see him again? - Nope.
Uncle got a letter from him a couple of years ago, but Do you have any idea what it's like to lose the compass in your life, to have them just split like that? Nothing left to exonerate you, just split you know? Leaving you to fill in the blanks.
You know, I can forgive the guy for taking off, taking every last penny.
It's just the cruelty that I'm having trouble coming to terms with.
He must've really just hated us.
It's not his hate.
It's his indifference.
Indifference is worse.
And now, with live breaking news, we go back to the scene.
There has been little contact with Sammy since the early moments of the siege.
Negotiators say this one may drag on for at least a day or two.
Since the cancellation of Sammy Winter's That perm was a big, big mistake.
- Hmm.
Nice perm.
- T ell me about it.
God.
I don't know, I love her, but I'm not in love with her, you know? Yeah, totally.
It's like you can't live your life for someone else, you know? I'm always gonna be there for the kid, and stuff and God, I feel like such a loser saying that.
You are not a loser.
- Look at me.
- I am looking.
And I see a sexy, sweet, nice guy that anybody would be lucky to have.
- I don't have a shot yet.
- This one's pretty good.
That's not it.
I'll get it, though.
I know you will.
You feel bad for him, don't you? I'm just concerned about getting us out of here safely.
When I was growing up, we used to have this poodle called Frenchie.
Frenchie? Whenever my dad would come home, he'd walk past me and mom and go play with the dog like we weren't even there.
He tried his best.
He was the one that got me into wearing hats.
He wore hats all the time.
When he'd come home drunk, he'd say the best way to sober up is put on your hat.
It reminded him of when he used to be somebody.
I bought him this hat, but he never wore it.
I love hats.
You thinking about your dad? I was at a friend's house before I came home and found him.
I'd had a cigarette.
My first and only one.
I remember being so scared that my dad was going to smell it on me, that I walked home, and I was just trying to get the smoke out of my hair.
And when I saw him hanging there, I actually thought for one second that God was punishing me for smoking.
I think sometimes life is too small for dads.
In front ofDirt Now Magazine, I'm Ray Gerrera.
Back to you, Chet.
Pretty messed up, huh? It really sucks.
They were going to do a story about my work rescuing dogs.
- Do you think they'll still do it? - What? My rescue work with dogs.
Do you think they'll do the story? You know, provided they don't all get shot? It's just something that I'm really passionate about, you know? No idea.
You know, you got hard during one of our love scenes.
What are you talking about? No, I didn't.
The one where I was riding you.
I could feel it.
I pushed a little harder so it'd feel good for you.
Well, and me.
Man.
Dude.
Dude! A cat? You take pictures of a cat when you've got me right here? I'm waiting for the right moment.
Oh.
I got dogs, four of them.
I'm a dog man, myself.
What's its name? Tristan.
Dude, you gotta get a dog.
Cats are for, you know, those kinda guys.
I like cats.
Cats are quiet and loving and they they know when to give you your space.
I say it's dogs all the way.
That's because you're a narcissist.
You can't live without excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation.
Dogs will give you that.
Their love is how you'd like to perceive yourself as seen by others.
Oh, really? Most likely a result of your bitter disappointment and radical disillusionment with significant others during childhood.
- Anything else, Freud? - Four dogs is a lot.
Bang.
Thank you.
There's definite interest from USA Network to do a put pilot.
They're flattered you would consider it, since you just worked with Johnny Shit-For-Brains - Cheryl, do you love your husband? - Pardon? Your husband, do you still love him? Yeah.
Of course.
Are you OK? My father has diabetes.
Years ago he told my mother he couldn't screw her anymore because of complications with the disease, and for years she took what she could get from him in that department.
Last year he dumped her for his mistress of 15 years.
Julia, honey, is there something I should know? My mother said that it just came out of left field when he told her, but I knew.
- You know how? - No.
His cards, they were always humorous.
His birthday, anniversary, holiday.
He could pull it off in the moment, but something tangible, something that my mother could hold in her hands as proof.
I'm going to take a cab.
- Wait, Julia - I'm fine, all right? Just tell Holt I don't feel well.
I'll see him at home.
OK.
Shit.
- Hey, Terry.
- Lucy needs I have to go.
Hey, can I get something to drink? with little new to report.
Television and radio personality Sammy Winters believed - to be holding the staff of Dirt - Kenny.
- Can you go get me a drink? - Can you give me one second? - What'd you say? - Oh, we're just finishing up.
Drinks are in the fridge right over there.
Oh, OK, no problem.
I'll go get the drink.
That's a really good one, use that one.
Oh, uh, Kenny? Wow.
Oh, my God, Kenny! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Oh, my God, he killed Kenny! OK.
You like that? What happened? What happened? You're the negotiator, what do you think happens when a gun goes off in a hostage situation?! Somebody dies! OK? We are losing the focus here.
The focus is me! Me! OK? I want respect! And I want it now! I got enough explosives wrapped to my waist to flatten the whole city block! So back off! You back off! Sammy.
What is it that you want? What I want is for these people to listen to me! Don't act like I don't exist! You go on with your lives! I'm here.
Goddamn it! I'm still here! What are you doing? I'm mixing chemicals to throw them in his face.
- That is insane.
- Maybe she's right.
No, you're both hopped up on Spic and Span.
Trust me on this one.
There's nothing we can do.
You have been a coward too long.
You have outlived your relevance.
You want to get your head blown off, that's fine by me.
Some of us might like to live to see their next birthday.
- Why? What will happen then? - I said sit, old woman.
You are not the captain of this ship.
You've proved that.
Willa! Wait.
All right, that's enough! Goddamn it! No one pistol-whips Johnny Gage.
Really, Johnny? Because I just did, bitch.
- Shoot him! - You'd better freeze, man! Come on, shoot me! - Shoot him, goddamn it! - Shoot me, come on.
Come on! Shoot me! Shoot me, pussy.
You pussy! Do it! I will, I swear.
I swear Shoot me! Shoot me! Shoot me! Do it.
Do it, you pussy.
You screwed me, Lucy.
You screwed me.
You were never going to run the story! Never.
Never.
Never! - I don't know why I trusted you.
- Wait! You kill her, and your story dies.
I got no other motivation to stop you other than that.
No one will give your story justice like Lucy Spiller.
Come on, you've come this far.
Sammy, hey.
Come on, Sammy.
Let me do it.
Let me do it.
Come on, Sammy.
Let me do it.
Let her put you on the cover.
You can trust me.
Come on, Sammy.
Let me take care of you.
- Come on.
- OK.
OK.
Come on.
You do it.
Come on.
Back to work.
Back to work.
We're gonna do the magazine! Let's do it.
Let's get back to work.
Back to work! We heard shots fired.
Was anyone injured? - We have confirmed one casualty.
- Do you know the identity? Yes, a male employee has been fatally shot.
We're awaiting notification of his relatives before we release his name.
Normally, in a situation like this, we would advance on the building, but he has explosives It's moving into day three of the standoff, and we 're waiting to see if Sammy will turn himself in Oh, it's beautiful.
Beautiful.
It's better than I dreamed.
- We did it.
- No.
You did it.
No.
This is us.
Us.
We shouldn't have to work that hard for love.
Boom.
- We love you, Sammy! - I love you! Would you please leave us alone? - Lucy, tell us what it was like.
- This is not the time! Holt, come to bed.
Be right there.