Doctor Who s06e08 Episode Script
Let's Kill Hitler
Silence will fall.
The Doctor on the beach was a future version.
That's still going to happen? He's still going to die? I'm pregnant.
Whatever happens, we will find you.
'The whole time I thought I was on the TARDIS I was really here?' They've taken Amy and our baby.
We're going after her.
Amelia Pond! Get your coat! Is Melody human? Of course she is! Look closer.
Human plus Time Lord.
What is she? Hope in this endless, bitter war.
Against who? Against you, Doctor.
And now they have taken a child and they are going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down.
Who are you? Why are you in prison, who did you kill? Tell me who you are.
I am telling you.
Rory and Amy, I know where to find your daughter and, on my life, she will be safe.
The Doctor will find your daughter and he will care for her whatever it takes.
It's me.
I'm your daughter.
OK, left, sharp turn! OK, right! No, no, no I mean left.
No, sorry right, right! I definitely meant right.
Oh! Now loop the loop! Stop! Stop! Seriously? You never answer your phone.
OK, you've had all summer.
Have you found her? Have you found Melody? Permission? Granted.
You know who she grows up to be, so you know I WILL find her.
But you haven't yet? Hang on, what's this bit? That wasn't us.
Aaaargh! You said he was funny, you never said he was hot.
Mels? What are you doing here? Following you, what do you think? Um, where did you get the car? It's mine .
.
ish.
Oh, Mels, not again? You can't keep doing this.
You'll end up in prison.
Sorry, hello, Doctor not following this.
Doctor very lost.
You never said I was hot?! Is that the phone box! The bigger-on-the-inside phone box? Time travel - that's just brilliant.
Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.
I'm their best mate.
Then why don't I know you? I danced with everyone at the wedding.
The women were all brilliant, the men were a bit shy.
I don't do weddings.
And that's me out of time.
Mels! For God's sake! What are you doing? I need out of here, now! Anywhere in particular? Well, let's see! You've got a time machine, I've got a gun.
What the hell - let's kill Hitler.
Is he hot? No, he's funny.
But how can he travel in time? Because he's got a time machine, stupid! I thought we were playing hide and seek.
I've been hiding for hours! Well, we just haven't found you yet! OK.
Hi, Mels.
Hi, Rory.
Mels, did you not understand the question? I'm asking you why the Titanic sank? Because the DOCTOR didn't save it.
Except you don't know about the Doctor because you're stupid! Why are you always in trouble? You're the most in trouble in the whole school, except for boys.
And you.
I count as a boy.
Am I getting warm? Yes, Rory.
Mels? A significant factor in Hitler's rise to power was the fact that the Doctor didn't stop him.
I can't keep doing this! Mels! It was late, I took a bus.
No, you stole a bus.
Who steals a BUS? I returned it.
You drove it through the botanical garden.
Short cut.
Why can't you just act like a person? Like a normal LEGAL person? I don't know, maybe I need a Doctor.
Stop it! Er I'd better go, I'm on earlies tomorrow.
It's all right for you.
You've got Mr Perfect keeping you right.
He's not even real.
Just a stupid dream when I was a kid.
I wasn't talking about him.
What, Rory? How have I GOT Rory? Yeah, how how's she got me? He's not mine.
No.
No, I'm not hers.
Oh, come on! Seriously, it's got to be you two.
Oh, cut to the song, it's getting boring.
Nice thought, OK? But completely impossible.
Yeah, impossible! I mean, I'd love to, he's gorgeous, he's my favourite guy, but he's, you know? A friend.
Gay.
I'm not gay.
Yes, you are.
No.
No, I'm not.
Course you are, don't be stupid! In the time I've known you, when've you shown any interest in a GIRL? Penny in the air! I've known you for, what, 10 years? I've seen you practically every day.
Name one girl you've paid the SLIGHTEST bit of attention to? Oh, my God! Rory! And the penny drops! Rory! Catch you later, Time Boy! You've shot it! You shot my TARDIS! You shot the console! It's your fault! Argh! How's it my fault?! You said guns didn't work in this place.
You said we're in a state of temporal grace.
That was a clever lie, you idiot! Anyone could tell that was a clever lie! OK, we like him.
Costume want to know about the suit.
Colour, shape, nothing detachable.
Musculature good.
That was quick.
Showing off.
Art department want to talk skin tone.
Yes, I do.
I don't trust sensors, I want to take a look myself.
We're in a hurry, we're not trying to win an award.
That's what you said when we made Rasputin green! OK, get your fat one up there.
Run! Yes, Captain.
Harriet's going to eyeball.
Everyone else, good to go, please! What do you want? What are you doing? Musculature on line.
Five foot 11, confirmed.
Harriet, are you up there yet? 'Welcome.
You are unauthorised.
Your death will now be implemented.
Harriet, have you updated your privileges? Yes, of course I have! Look, I'm staff, see? Look, staff! 'You are authorised.
Your existence will continue.
' I don't understand.
'Harriet, shift!' Five seconds to eyeball.
Shades 44 to 89, peaking at 60.
Standard density.
He's sweating a bit, so compensate.
Wh-What are you? 'All hands, prepare for tessellation.
Prepare for tessellation.
' OK, clean up.
Aaaargh! Who is he? Eric Zimmerman.
Loyal member of the Nazi Party, guilty of Category Three hate crimes.
Well, then.
Leave him to the Antibodies.
'Welcome.
You are unauthorised.
'Your death will now be implemented.
' 'Welcome.
You will experience a tingling sensation and then death.
'Remain calm while your life is extracted.
' What do you want? Who let you in here? What's wrong with the shock absorbers? Problem in the knees.
Let's hope we don't have to run.
Do not call for help.
This room has been sound screened.
You have been found guilty.
Justice mode activating.
Hang on! This is 1938.
We're too early, we need to go later in his time stream.
Something else! We've got incoming! On screen! What the hell is that? Out, out, out! Everybody out.
Don't breathe the smoke, just get out! Where are we? A room.
What room? I don't know! I haven't memorised every room in the universe.
I had yesterday off.
Mels, don't go in there! Bad smoke! Don't breathe the bad, bad, smoke.
Bad, deadly smoke, because somebody shot my TARDIS! Doctor, this guy, I think he's hurt.
Transmit normal life signs! Artificial gravity holding.
We should get upright when we can.
No, hang on.
No, he's he's fine.
Ooh, hello! Sorry, is this your office? Had a sort of collision with my vehicle.
Faults on both sides, let's say no more about it.
Is that? No, it can't be, Doctor? Thank you.
Whoever you are, I think you have just saved my life.
Believe me it was an accident.
What is this thing? What did he mean we saved his life? We could not have saved Hitler.
You see? You see, time travel, it never goes to plan.
This box, what is it? It's a police telephone box from London, England.
That's right, Adolf, the British are coming! No, stop him! Damage report! Damage report! Sit still, shut up.
Are you OK? Yes, yes.
Yes.
I'm fine.
I think he missed.
He was going to kill me.
Shut up, Hitler! Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard.
Right, putting Hitler in the cupboard.
Cupboard, Hitler.
Hitler, cupboard.
Come on.
But I am the Fuhrer! Right, in you go! Who are you? Are you OK? Sir, what do we do know? Suggestion, we should go into surveillance mode.
Agreed.
Let's faint.
Oh, I I think he just fainted.
Yes, that was a faint.
A perfect faint.
Mels? Hitler What about him? Lousy shot.
Mels! Mels! Rory! No, no, no! I've got to stop the bleeding! Sir, that blue box I've got a match.
We're trying to bag war criminals, we've got the biggest one ever right under our noses.
Forget Hitler.
We take this one down, the Justice Department will give us the rest of the year off.
Are you sure? There's no question.
It's her.
How bad is it? Rory, what can we do? Just keep her conscious! Stay with us, Mels.
Hey, look at me.
Just hold on.
I used to dream about you.
All those stories Amy told me.
What stories? Tell me what stories.
Vampires in Venice, that's a belter.
When I was little, I was going to marry you.
Good idea, let's get married.
You live and I'll marry you, deal? Deal? Shouldn't you ask my parents? Soon as you're well, I'll get on the phone.
Might as well do it now, since they're both right here.
Penny in the air.
Penny drops! What the hell's going on? Back! Back! Back! Get back! Last time I did this, I ended up a toddler.
In the middle of New York.
OK, Doctor, explain what is happening? Please! Mels.
Short for.
.
? Melody.
Yeah, I named my daughter after her.
You named your daughter after your daughter.
Took me years to find you two.
I'm so glad I did.
And, you see, it all worked out in the end, didn't it? You got to raise me after all.
You're Melody? But if she's Melody, that means she's also Shut up, Dad! I'm focussing on a dress size.
Argh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoo! Right, let's see, then.
Ooh, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair! Oh! The hair, it just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that! Everything changes! Oh, but I love it, I love it! I'm all sort of mature! Hello, Benjamin! Who's Benjamin? The teeth! The teeth, the teeth! Oh, look at them! Watch out! That bow tie! Excuse me, you lot, I need to weigh myself! That's Melody? That's River Song.
Who's River Song? Spoilers.
Spoilers? What's spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check! Is anybody else finding today just a bit difficult? I'm getting a sort of banging in my head.
Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard.
That's not helping.
This isn't the River Song we know yet.
This is her right at the start.
Doesn't even know her name.
Ah, that's magnificent! I'm going to wear LOTS of jodhpurs! That's her, all right.
Melody Pond the woman who kills the Doctor.
Well, now, enough of all that! Down to business.
Oh, hello.
I thought we were getting married.
I told you, I'm not a wedding person.
Doctor, what's she doing? What she's programmed to.
Where'd she get the gun? Hello, Benjamin.
Hello, Benjamin! You noticed! Of course I noticed.
As soon as I knew you were coming, I tidied up a bit.
I know you did.
Watch out, that bow tie! I know you know.
Goodness, is killing you going to take all day? Why? Are you busy? Oh, I'm not complaining.
If you were in a hurry, you could've killed me in the cornfield.
We'd only just met.
I'm a psychopath.
I'm not rude.
You were not a psychopath! Why would she be a psychopath? Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention.
I was trained and conditioned for one purpose.
I was born to kill the Doctor.
Demons Run, remember? This is what they were building, my bespoke psychopath.
I'm all yours, sweetie.
Only River Song gets to call me that.
And who is River Song? An old friend of mine.
Stupid name.
Oh, look at that! Berlin on the eve of war.
A whole world about to tear itself apart.
Now that's my kind of town.
Mum, Dad, don't follow me.
And, yes, that is a warning.
No warning for me, then? No need, my love.
The deed is done and so are you.
Doctor, what's wrong? What have you done? River! Oh, River, River, River! More than a friend, I think.
What have you done?! It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor, the man of peace who understands every kind of warfare, except, perhaps, the cruellest.
I'm all yours, sweetie.
Kiss, kiss.
What's wrong with you? What's she done to you? Poisoned me but I'm fine.
Well, no, I'm dying, but I've got a plan.
What plan? I'm not dying.
See, fine! Scanning him.
He's dying all right.
But he can't be.
OK, what do we do? How do we help you? Take this! The TARDIS can home in on it.
Now, go, get after her! Oi! Halt! Hello, boys! You said the smoke was deadly.
The smoke's fine.
The poison will kill me first.
Now, get after River! I don't understand, OK? One minute she's going to marry you and then kill you.
Ah, she's been brainwashed, it makes sense to her.
Plus, she is a woman.
Oh, shut up, I'm dying.
Extractor fans on! Oh! That works! What are you doing here? Well, I was off to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought, "Gosh, "the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the Fuhrer.
" Who's with me? Shoot her.
No! Tip for you all never shoot a girl while she's regenerating.
Aaaargh! Ah! Now, that hit the spot.
Thanks, boys! Call me.
What are you doing? New body, new town.
I'm going shopping! Look, I know how this looks, but let me explain everything from the beginning.
Heil! Heil! Come on! Can you ride a motorbike? I expect so.
It's that sort of day.
OK, this time let's do the bike, too.
You see, he can't be dying.
But the Doctor is deceased.
We have his records.
But he doesn't die here.
He dies in Utah, by Lake Silencio, April the 22nd, 2011.
Time can be rewritten.
Remember Kennedy? This can't.
It's a confirmed fixed point.
The Doctor must always die exactly then.
He always has and he always will.
Then someone's screwed up because he's dying right now.
I'm shutting down.
Going to need an interface.
Voice interface.
Come on, emergency.
'Voice interface enabled.
' Oh, no, no, no, no! Give me someone I like.
Oh, thanks! Give me guilt! Also guilt! More guilt.
Come on, there must be someone left in the universe I haven't screwed up yet.
'Voice interface enabled.
' Oh! Oh, Amelia Pond before I got it all wrong.
My sweet little Amelia.
'I am not Amelia Pond.
I am a voice interface.
' Hey, let's run away and have adventures.
Come along, Pond.
'I am not Amelia Pond.
I am a voice interface.
' You are SO Scottish.
How am I doing? 'Your system has been contaminated by the poison of the Judas tree.
'You will be dead in 32 minutes.
' OK, so, basically better regenerate, that's what you're saying? 'Regeneration disabled.
'You will be dead in 32 minutes.
' Unless I'm cured, yeah? 'There is no cure.
'You will be dead in 32 minutes.
' Why do you keep saying that? 'Because you will be dead in 32 minutes.
' You see, there you go again.
Basically skipping 31 whole minutes when I'm absolutely fine.
Scottish, that's all I'm saying.
'You will be fine for 31 minutes.
'You will be dead in 32 minutes.
' Scotland's never conquered anywhere.
Not even a Shetland.
River needs me.
She's only just beginning, I can't die now.
'You will not die now.
You will die in 32 minutes.
' I'm going out in the first round.
Ringing any bells? Argh! OK, need something for the pain now.
Come on, Amelia.
It's me.
Please.
'I am not Amelia Pond.
I am a voice interface.
' Amelia, listen to me I can be brave for you but you have got to tell me how.
'I am not Amelia Pond.
I am a voice interface.
' Amelia Amelia, please 'Fish fingers and custard.
' What did you say? Fish fingers and custard! Oh, Amelia Pond.
Fish fingers and custard! Fish fingers and CUSTARD! Ist gut? Ladies and gentleman I don't have a thing to wear.
Take off your clothes.
OK, all of Berlin, how do we find her? I don't know.
Look for clues.
Clues? What kind of clues?! Shut up OK.
Now, look at that! Now that's fun from EVERY angle! Now, dear, I told you not to follow me.
OK.
OK, I am trapped inside a giant robot replica of my wife.
I'm really trying not to see this as a metaphor.
How can we be in here? Umm How do we fit? Miniaturisation ray.
How would you know that? Well, there was a ray and we were miniaturised.
All right.
'Welcome.
'You are unauthorised.
Your death will now be implemented.
' Um what's that? Er, I don't know, it's in YOUR head.
'Please remain calm while your life is terminated.
' We come in peace! When has that ever worked? Oh, shut up! 'Please co-operate in your officially sanctioned termination.
'It is normal to experience fear during your incineration.
' Stop or I sonic.
What are you doing? Psychic interface, just point and think.
I know, but what do I think? I don't know! It's OK.
Stay still and don't move.
Privileges activated.
See? Activated.
'You are authorised.
Your existence will continue.
' You can put your hands down.
This is Justice Department Vehicle 6018.
You're not guilty of anything.
Welcome aboard the Teselecta.
I might take the age down a little, just gradually, to freak people out.
You killed the Doctor.
Oh, yes, I know, dear.
I hope you're not going to keep on about it.
Oh, regeneration, it's a whole new colouring to work with.
'You killed the Doctor on the orders of the movement known as the Silence and Academy of the Question.
'You accept and know this to be true?' Quite honestly, I don't really remember.
It was all a bit of jumble.
No! No! Get off me! Sorry, did you say she killed the Doctor? The Doctor? Doctor who? You said he was dying.
He is! When you're done here, your memories will be wiped and you'll be able Doctor? You're dying and you stopped to change? Oh, you should always waste time when you don't have any.
Time is not the boss of you - Rule 408.
Amelia Pond, judgment death machine.
Why am I not surprised? Sonic cane! Are you serious? 'Never knowingly.
Never knowingly be serious.
' Rule 27.
You might want to write these down.
Oh, it's a robot! With 423 life signs inside.
A robot worked by tiny people.
Love it! But how do you all get in there, though? Bigger on the inside? No, basic miniaturisation sustained by a compression field.
Oh, watch what you eat, it'll get you every time.
'Amy, if you and Rory are OK, signal me.
' 'Thanking you.
' Why did you do that? Argh! Oops, sorry, leg went to sleep.
Just had a quick left leg power nap, I forgot I had one scheduled.
Actually, better sit down, I think I heard the right one yawning.
Don't you touch her! Do not harm her in any way.
Why would you care? She is the women who kills you.
I'm not dead.
'You're dying.
' Well, at least I'm not a time-travelling shape-shifting robot operated by miniaturised cross people, which, I have got to admit, I didn't see coming.
What do you want with her? 'She's Melody Pond.
' According to records, the woman who kills the Doctor.
I'm the Doctor, what's it to you? Throughout history, many criminals have gone unpunished in their lifetimes.
Time travel has responsibilities.
What? You got yourselves time travel, so you decided to punish dead people? We don't kill them.
We extract them near the end of their established timelines.
And then what? Give them hell.
I'd ask you who you think you are, but the answer is pretty obvious.
So, who do you think I am? "The woman who killed the Doctor".
It sounds like you've got my biography in there.
I'd love a peek.
Our records office is sealed to the public.
Foreknowledge is dangerous.
I'll be dead in three minutes.
There isn't much left.
Sorry, can't do that.
That man is my best friend.
That woman is my daughter.
You give him anything he wants.
If she's family, she has privileges.
Say, "Access personal records, the Doctor".
Access personal records, the Doctor.
'Records available.
' Question.
I'm dying who wants me dead? 'The Silence.
' What is the Silence? Why is it called that? What does it mean? 'The Silence is not a species.
'It is a religious order, or movement.
'Their belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked.
' What question? 'The first question.
'The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.
' Yes, but what is the question? 'Unknown.
' Well, fat lot of use that is, you big ginge! Call yourself a Records Argh! Argh! Kidneys are always the first to quit.
I've had better, you know.
OK, he's finished.
Oh, my God! Well, then, let's do what we do.
Give her hell.
Argh! Amy! Rory! Amy, 'can you hear me?' Yeah.
You can talk to him.
What do we do? This is me.
This is me actually talking.
What do we do? Just stop them.
She's your daughter, just stop them.
How, how? How? Just do it! Privileges activated, see? 'She's your daughter.
Just stop them.
' What are you doing? Pointing and thinking.
Get ready to run.
'You are unauthorised.
Your death will now be implemented.
' OK, Captain, release her now, or I take down the whole Teselecta.
Amy? You can't.
They can! Rory, go! 'All privileges withdrawn.
' What have you done? 'All life forms prepare for immediate decease.
'You will experience a tingling sensation and then death.
' Shut it down! I'm trying! Shut everything down! Please, now we have to save your parents.
Don't run.
Now, I know you're scared, but never run when you're scared.
Rule 7.
Please.
'Remain calm while your life is extracted.
' Run! Keep running.
Where? I don't know, just run! Mothership! Mothership, get us out of here! Emergency beam up now! Everyone! 'Only two life forms remain.
'This will be rectified.
' Where did everyone go? How can they just disappear? Doctor, can you help us? Doctor? Doctor, help us! 'Doctor, help us! 'Doctor, please! 'Doctor! Help!' Look at you.
You still care.
'Doctor! Help! 'Doctor, help us! Please help us.
' It's impressive, I'll give you that.
River, please Again? Who is this River? She's got to be a woman, am I right? Help me.
Save Amy and Rory.
Help me.
Tell me about her.
Go on.
Aaargh just help me.
'You are unauthorised.
You are unauthorised.
'Your death will now be implemented.
' I love you.
I love you too.
'You are unauthorised.
'You are unauthorised.
You are unauthorised.
'Your death will now be implemented.
Your death will now be implemented.
' Doctor? Doctor, he did it.
He did it! I seem to be able to fly her.
She showed me how, she taught me.
The Doctor says I'm the child of the TARDIS.
What does he mean? Where is he? You can't die now.
I know you don't die now.
Oh, Pond! You've got a schedule for everything.
But it doesn't make any sense.
Doctor, what do we do? Come on.
How do we help you? No, sorry, Rory.
You can't.
Nobody can.
Ponds, listen to me, I need to talk to your daughter.
Find her.
Find River Song and tell her something from me.
Tell her what? Well, I'm sure she knows.
Who's River Song? Are you still working because I'm still a relative? Access files on River Song.
'Records available.
' Show me her.
Show me River Song.
What did he say? The Doctor gave you a message for River Song.
What was it? What's happening? River, what are you doing? Just tell me.
The Doctor, is he worth it? Yes.
Yes, he is.
River? No! What are you doing? Hello, sweetie.
Hey.
Hey.
Where am I? You're safe now.
Apparently, you used all your remaining regenerations in one go.
You shouldn't have done that.
Mother, I had to try.
I know.
He said no-one could save him but he must have known I could.
Rule one.
The Doctor lies.
She just needs to rest.
She'll be absolutely fine.
No, she won't.
She will be amazing.
So that's it? We leave her there? Sisters of the Infinite Schism, greatest hospital in the universe.
Yeah, but she's our daughter.
Doctor, she's River and she's our daughter.
Amy, I know.
But we have to let her make her own way now.
We have too much foreknowledge.
Dangerous thing, foreknowledge.
What's that? Nothing.
Just some data from the Teselecta.
Very boring.
Doctor, River was brainwashed to kill you? Well, she did, and then used her remaining lives to bring me back.
As first dates go, I'd say that was mixed signals.
But that stuff that they put in her head, is that gone now? The River that we know in the future, she is in prison for murder.
Whose murder? Will we see her again? Oh, she'll come looking for us.
Yeah, but how? How do people even look for you? Oh, Pond! Haven't you figured that one out yet? So, then, tell me why do you want to study archaeology? Well, to be perfectly honest, Professor, I'm looking for a good man.
Please save me from the monsters.
Tell me about George.
He's scared of everything.
George! You have to face your fears! You have to face them now! We're dead, again! You see these eyes? They're old eyes.
The one thing I can tell you - monsters are real.
The Doctor on the beach was a future version.
That's still going to happen? He's still going to die? I'm pregnant.
Whatever happens, we will find you.
'The whole time I thought I was on the TARDIS I was really here?' They've taken Amy and our baby.
We're going after her.
Amelia Pond! Get your coat! Is Melody human? Of course she is! Look closer.
Human plus Time Lord.
What is she? Hope in this endless, bitter war.
Against who? Against you, Doctor.
And now they have taken a child and they are going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down.
Who are you? Why are you in prison, who did you kill? Tell me who you are.
I am telling you.
Rory and Amy, I know where to find your daughter and, on my life, she will be safe.
The Doctor will find your daughter and he will care for her whatever it takes.
It's me.
I'm your daughter.
OK, left, sharp turn! OK, right! No, no, no I mean left.
No, sorry right, right! I definitely meant right.
Oh! Now loop the loop! Stop! Stop! Seriously? You never answer your phone.
OK, you've had all summer.
Have you found her? Have you found Melody? Permission? Granted.
You know who she grows up to be, so you know I WILL find her.
But you haven't yet? Hang on, what's this bit? That wasn't us.
Aaaargh! You said he was funny, you never said he was hot.
Mels? What are you doing here? Following you, what do you think? Um, where did you get the car? It's mine .
.
ish.
Oh, Mels, not again? You can't keep doing this.
You'll end up in prison.
Sorry, hello, Doctor not following this.
Doctor very lost.
You never said I was hot?! Is that the phone box! The bigger-on-the-inside phone box? Time travel - that's just brilliant.
Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.
I'm their best mate.
Then why don't I know you? I danced with everyone at the wedding.
The women were all brilliant, the men were a bit shy.
I don't do weddings.
And that's me out of time.
Mels! For God's sake! What are you doing? I need out of here, now! Anywhere in particular? Well, let's see! You've got a time machine, I've got a gun.
What the hell - let's kill Hitler.
Is he hot? No, he's funny.
But how can he travel in time? Because he's got a time machine, stupid! I thought we were playing hide and seek.
I've been hiding for hours! Well, we just haven't found you yet! OK.
Hi, Mels.
Hi, Rory.
Mels, did you not understand the question? I'm asking you why the Titanic sank? Because the DOCTOR didn't save it.
Except you don't know about the Doctor because you're stupid! Why are you always in trouble? You're the most in trouble in the whole school, except for boys.
And you.
I count as a boy.
Am I getting warm? Yes, Rory.
Mels? A significant factor in Hitler's rise to power was the fact that the Doctor didn't stop him.
I can't keep doing this! Mels! It was late, I took a bus.
No, you stole a bus.
Who steals a BUS? I returned it.
You drove it through the botanical garden.
Short cut.
Why can't you just act like a person? Like a normal LEGAL person? I don't know, maybe I need a Doctor.
Stop it! Er I'd better go, I'm on earlies tomorrow.
It's all right for you.
You've got Mr Perfect keeping you right.
He's not even real.
Just a stupid dream when I was a kid.
I wasn't talking about him.
What, Rory? How have I GOT Rory? Yeah, how how's she got me? He's not mine.
No.
No, I'm not hers.
Oh, come on! Seriously, it's got to be you two.
Oh, cut to the song, it's getting boring.
Nice thought, OK? But completely impossible.
Yeah, impossible! I mean, I'd love to, he's gorgeous, he's my favourite guy, but he's, you know? A friend.
Gay.
I'm not gay.
Yes, you are.
No.
No, I'm not.
Course you are, don't be stupid! In the time I've known you, when've you shown any interest in a GIRL? Penny in the air! I've known you for, what, 10 years? I've seen you practically every day.
Name one girl you've paid the SLIGHTEST bit of attention to? Oh, my God! Rory! And the penny drops! Rory! Catch you later, Time Boy! You've shot it! You shot my TARDIS! You shot the console! It's your fault! Argh! How's it my fault?! You said guns didn't work in this place.
You said we're in a state of temporal grace.
That was a clever lie, you idiot! Anyone could tell that was a clever lie! OK, we like him.
Costume want to know about the suit.
Colour, shape, nothing detachable.
Musculature good.
That was quick.
Showing off.
Art department want to talk skin tone.
Yes, I do.
I don't trust sensors, I want to take a look myself.
We're in a hurry, we're not trying to win an award.
That's what you said when we made Rasputin green! OK, get your fat one up there.
Run! Yes, Captain.
Harriet's going to eyeball.
Everyone else, good to go, please! What do you want? What are you doing? Musculature on line.
Five foot 11, confirmed.
Harriet, are you up there yet? 'Welcome.
You are unauthorised.
Your death will now be implemented.
Harriet, have you updated your privileges? Yes, of course I have! Look, I'm staff, see? Look, staff! 'You are authorised.
Your existence will continue.
' I don't understand.
'Harriet, shift!' Five seconds to eyeball.
Shades 44 to 89, peaking at 60.
Standard density.
He's sweating a bit, so compensate.
Wh-What are you? 'All hands, prepare for tessellation.
Prepare for tessellation.
' OK, clean up.
Aaaargh! Who is he? Eric Zimmerman.
Loyal member of the Nazi Party, guilty of Category Three hate crimes.
Well, then.
Leave him to the Antibodies.
'Welcome.
You are unauthorised.
'Your death will now be implemented.
' 'Welcome.
You will experience a tingling sensation and then death.
'Remain calm while your life is extracted.
' What do you want? Who let you in here? What's wrong with the shock absorbers? Problem in the knees.
Let's hope we don't have to run.
Do not call for help.
This room has been sound screened.
You have been found guilty.
Justice mode activating.
Hang on! This is 1938.
We're too early, we need to go later in his time stream.
Something else! We've got incoming! On screen! What the hell is that? Out, out, out! Everybody out.
Don't breathe the smoke, just get out! Where are we? A room.
What room? I don't know! I haven't memorised every room in the universe.
I had yesterday off.
Mels, don't go in there! Bad smoke! Don't breathe the bad, bad, smoke.
Bad, deadly smoke, because somebody shot my TARDIS! Doctor, this guy, I think he's hurt.
Transmit normal life signs! Artificial gravity holding.
We should get upright when we can.
No, hang on.
No, he's he's fine.
Ooh, hello! Sorry, is this your office? Had a sort of collision with my vehicle.
Faults on both sides, let's say no more about it.
Is that? No, it can't be, Doctor? Thank you.
Whoever you are, I think you have just saved my life.
Believe me it was an accident.
What is this thing? What did he mean we saved his life? We could not have saved Hitler.
You see? You see, time travel, it never goes to plan.
This box, what is it? It's a police telephone box from London, England.
That's right, Adolf, the British are coming! No, stop him! Damage report! Damage report! Sit still, shut up.
Are you OK? Yes, yes.
Yes.
I'm fine.
I think he missed.
He was going to kill me.
Shut up, Hitler! Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard.
Right, putting Hitler in the cupboard.
Cupboard, Hitler.
Hitler, cupboard.
Come on.
But I am the Fuhrer! Right, in you go! Who are you? Are you OK? Sir, what do we do know? Suggestion, we should go into surveillance mode.
Agreed.
Let's faint.
Oh, I I think he just fainted.
Yes, that was a faint.
A perfect faint.
Mels? Hitler What about him? Lousy shot.
Mels! Mels! Rory! No, no, no! I've got to stop the bleeding! Sir, that blue box I've got a match.
We're trying to bag war criminals, we've got the biggest one ever right under our noses.
Forget Hitler.
We take this one down, the Justice Department will give us the rest of the year off.
Are you sure? There's no question.
It's her.
How bad is it? Rory, what can we do? Just keep her conscious! Stay with us, Mels.
Hey, look at me.
Just hold on.
I used to dream about you.
All those stories Amy told me.
What stories? Tell me what stories.
Vampires in Venice, that's a belter.
When I was little, I was going to marry you.
Good idea, let's get married.
You live and I'll marry you, deal? Deal? Shouldn't you ask my parents? Soon as you're well, I'll get on the phone.
Might as well do it now, since they're both right here.
Penny in the air.
Penny drops! What the hell's going on? Back! Back! Back! Get back! Last time I did this, I ended up a toddler.
In the middle of New York.
OK, Doctor, explain what is happening? Please! Mels.
Short for.
.
? Melody.
Yeah, I named my daughter after her.
You named your daughter after your daughter.
Took me years to find you two.
I'm so glad I did.
And, you see, it all worked out in the end, didn't it? You got to raise me after all.
You're Melody? But if she's Melody, that means she's also Shut up, Dad! I'm focussing on a dress size.
Argh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoo! Right, let's see, then.
Ooh, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair! Oh! The hair, it just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that! Everything changes! Oh, but I love it, I love it! I'm all sort of mature! Hello, Benjamin! Who's Benjamin? The teeth! The teeth, the teeth! Oh, look at them! Watch out! That bow tie! Excuse me, you lot, I need to weigh myself! That's Melody? That's River Song.
Who's River Song? Spoilers.
Spoilers? What's spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check! Is anybody else finding today just a bit difficult? I'm getting a sort of banging in my head.
Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard.
That's not helping.
This isn't the River Song we know yet.
This is her right at the start.
Doesn't even know her name.
Ah, that's magnificent! I'm going to wear LOTS of jodhpurs! That's her, all right.
Melody Pond the woman who kills the Doctor.
Well, now, enough of all that! Down to business.
Oh, hello.
I thought we were getting married.
I told you, I'm not a wedding person.
Doctor, what's she doing? What she's programmed to.
Where'd she get the gun? Hello, Benjamin.
Hello, Benjamin! You noticed! Of course I noticed.
As soon as I knew you were coming, I tidied up a bit.
I know you did.
Watch out, that bow tie! I know you know.
Goodness, is killing you going to take all day? Why? Are you busy? Oh, I'm not complaining.
If you were in a hurry, you could've killed me in the cornfield.
We'd only just met.
I'm a psychopath.
I'm not rude.
You were not a psychopath! Why would she be a psychopath? Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention.
I was trained and conditioned for one purpose.
I was born to kill the Doctor.
Demons Run, remember? This is what they were building, my bespoke psychopath.
I'm all yours, sweetie.
Only River Song gets to call me that.
And who is River Song? An old friend of mine.
Stupid name.
Oh, look at that! Berlin on the eve of war.
A whole world about to tear itself apart.
Now that's my kind of town.
Mum, Dad, don't follow me.
And, yes, that is a warning.
No warning for me, then? No need, my love.
The deed is done and so are you.
Doctor, what's wrong? What have you done? River! Oh, River, River, River! More than a friend, I think.
What have you done?! It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor, the man of peace who understands every kind of warfare, except, perhaps, the cruellest.
I'm all yours, sweetie.
Kiss, kiss.
What's wrong with you? What's she done to you? Poisoned me but I'm fine.
Well, no, I'm dying, but I've got a plan.
What plan? I'm not dying.
See, fine! Scanning him.
He's dying all right.
But he can't be.
OK, what do we do? How do we help you? Take this! The TARDIS can home in on it.
Now, go, get after her! Oi! Halt! Hello, boys! You said the smoke was deadly.
The smoke's fine.
The poison will kill me first.
Now, get after River! I don't understand, OK? One minute she's going to marry you and then kill you.
Ah, she's been brainwashed, it makes sense to her.
Plus, she is a woman.
Oh, shut up, I'm dying.
Extractor fans on! Oh! That works! What are you doing here? Well, I was off to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought, "Gosh, "the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the Fuhrer.
" Who's with me? Shoot her.
No! Tip for you all never shoot a girl while she's regenerating.
Aaaargh! Ah! Now, that hit the spot.
Thanks, boys! Call me.
What are you doing? New body, new town.
I'm going shopping! Look, I know how this looks, but let me explain everything from the beginning.
Heil! Heil! Come on! Can you ride a motorbike? I expect so.
It's that sort of day.
OK, this time let's do the bike, too.
You see, he can't be dying.
But the Doctor is deceased.
We have his records.
But he doesn't die here.
He dies in Utah, by Lake Silencio, April the 22nd, 2011.
Time can be rewritten.
Remember Kennedy? This can't.
It's a confirmed fixed point.
The Doctor must always die exactly then.
He always has and he always will.
Then someone's screwed up because he's dying right now.
I'm shutting down.
Going to need an interface.
Voice interface.
Come on, emergency.
'Voice interface enabled.
' Oh, no, no, no, no! Give me someone I like.
Oh, thanks! Give me guilt! Also guilt! More guilt.
Come on, there must be someone left in the universe I haven't screwed up yet.
'Voice interface enabled.
' Oh! Oh, Amelia Pond before I got it all wrong.
My sweet little Amelia.
'I am not Amelia Pond.
I am a voice interface.
' Hey, let's run away and have adventures.
Come along, Pond.
'I am not Amelia Pond.
I am a voice interface.
' You are SO Scottish.
How am I doing? 'Your system has been contaminated by the poison of the Judas tree.
'You will be dead in 32 minutes.
' OK, so, basically better regenerate, that's what you're saying? 'Regeneration disabled.
'You will be dead in 32 minutes.
' Unless I'm cured, yeah? 'There is no cure.
'You will be dead in 32 minutes.
' Why do you keep saying that? 'Because you will be dead in 32 minutes.
' You see, there you go again.
Basically skipping 31 whole minutes when I'm absolutely fine.
Scottish, that's all I'm saying.
'You will be fine for 31 minutes.
'You will be dead in 32 minutes.
' Scotland's never conquered anywhere.
Not even a Shetland.
River needs me.
She's only just beginning, I can't die now.
'You will not die now.
You will die in 32 minutes.
' I'm going out in the first round.
Ringing any bells? Argh! OK, need something for the pain now.
Come on, Amelia.
It's me.
Please.
'I am not Amelia Pond.
I am a voice interface.
' Amelia, listen to me I can be brave for you but you have got to tell me how.
'I am not Amelia Pond.
I am a voice interface.
' Amelia Amelia, please 'Fish fingers and custard.
' What did you say? Fish fingers and custard! Oh, Amelia Pond.
Fish fingers and custard! Fish fingers and CUSTARD! Ist gut? Ladies and gentleman I don't have a thing to wear.
Take off your clothes.
OK, all of Berlin, how do we find her? I don't know.
Look for clues.
Clues? What kind of clues?! Shut up OK.
Now, look at that! Now that's fun from EVERY angle! Now, dear, I told you not to follow me.
OK.
OK, I am trapped inside a giant robot replica of my wife.
I'm really trying not to see this as a metaphor.
How can we be in here? Umm How do we fit? Miniaturisation ray.
How would you know that? Well, there was a ray and we were miniaturised.
All right.
'Welcome.
'You are unauthorised.
Your death will now be implemented.
' Um what's that? Er, I don't know, it's in YOUR head.
'Please remain calm while your life is terminated.
' We come in peace! When has that ever worked? Oh, shut up! 'Please co-operate in your officially sanctioned termination.
'It is normal to experience fear during your incineration.
' Stop or I sonic.
What are you doing? Psychic interface, just point and think.
I know, but what do I think? I don't know! It's OK.
Stay still and don't move.
Privileges activated.
See? Activated.
'You are authorised.
Your existence will continue.
' You can put your hands down.
This is Justice Department Vehicle 6018.
You're not guilty of anything.
Welcome aboard the Teselecta.
I might take the age down a little, just gradually, to freak people out.
You killed the Doctor.
Oh, yes, I know, dear.
I hope you're not going to keep on about it.
Oh, regeneration, it's a whole new colouring to work with.
'You killed the Doctor on the orders of the movement known as the Silence and Academy of the Question.
'You accept and know this to be true?' Quite honestly, I don't really remember.
It was all a bit of jumble.
No! No! Get off me! Sorry, did you say she killed the Doctor? The Doctor? Doctor who? You said he was dying.
He is! When you're done here, your memories will be wiped and you'll be able Doctor? You're dying and you stopped to change? Oh, you should always waste time when you don't have any.
Time is not the boss of you - Rule 408.
Amelia Pond, judgment death machine.
Why am I not surprised? Sonic cane! Are you serious? 'Never knowingly.
Never knowingly be serious.
' Rule 27.
You might want to write these down.
Oh, it's a robot! With 423 life signs inside.
A robot worked by tiny people.
Love it! But how do you all get in there, though? Bigger on the inside? No, basic miniaturisation sustained by a compression field.
Oh, watch what you eat, it'll get you every time.
'Amy, if you and Rory are OK, signal me.
' 'Thanking you.
' Why did you do that? Argh! Oops, sorry, leg went to sleep.
Just had a quick left leg power nap, I forgot I had one scheduled.
Actually, better sit down, I think I heard the right one yawning.
Don't you touch her! Do not harm her in any way.
Why would you care? She is the women who kills you.
I'm not dead.
'You're dying.
' Well, at least I'm not a time-travelling shape-shifting robot operated by miniaturised cross people, which, I have got to admit, I didn't see coming.
What do you want with her? 'She's Melody Pond.
' According to records, the woman who kills the Doctor.
I'm the Doctor, what's it to you? Throughout history, many criminals have gone unpunished in their lifetimes.
Time travel has responsibilities.
What? You got yourselves time travel, so you decided to punish dead people? We don't kill them.
We extract them near the end of their established timelines.
And then what? Give them hell.
I'd ask you who you think you are, but the answer is pretty obvious.
So, who do you think I am? "The woman who killed the Doctor".
It sounds like you've got my biography in there.
I'd love a peek.
Our records office is sealed to the public.
Foreknowledge is dangerous.
I'll be dead in three minutes.
There isn't much left.
Sorry, can't do that.
That man is my best friend.
That woman is my daughter.
You give him anything he wants.
If she's family, she has privileges.
Say, "Access personal records, the Doctor".
Access personal records, the Doctor.
'Records available.
' Question.
I'm dying who wants me dead? 'The Silence.
' What is the Silence? Why is it called that? What does it mean? 'The Silence is not a species.
'It is a religious order, or movement.
'Their belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked.
' What question? 'The first question.
'The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.
' Yes, but what is the question? 'Unknown.
' Well, fat lot of use that is, you big ginge! Call yourself a Records Argh! Argh! Kidneys are always the first to quit.
I've had better, you know.
OK, he's finished.
Oh, my God! Well, then, let's do what we do.
Give her hell.
Argh! Amy! Rory! Amy, 'can you hear me?' Yeah.
You can talk to him.
What do we do? This is me.
This is me actually talking.
What do we do? Just stop them.
She's your daughter, just stop them.
How, how? How? Just do it! Privileges activated, see? 'She's your daughter.
Just stop them.
' What are you doing? Pointing and thinking.
Get ready to run.
'You are unauthorised.
Your death will now be implemented.
' OK, Captain, release her now, or I take down the whole Teselecta.
Amy? You can't.
They can! Rory, go! 'All privileges withdrawn.
' What have you done? 'All life forms prepare for immediate decease.
'You will experience a tingling sensation and then death.
' Shut it down! I'm trying! Shut everything down! Please, now we have to save your parents.
Don't run.
Now, I know you're scared, but never run when you're scared.
Rule 7.
Please.
'Remain calm while your life is extracted.
' Run! Keep running.
Where? I don't know, just run! Mothership! Mothership, get us out of here! Emergency beam up now! Everyone! 'Only two life forms remain.
'This will be rectified.
' Where did everyone go? How can they just disappear? Doctor, can you help us? Doctor? Doctor, help us! 'Doctor, help us! 'Doctor, please! 'Doctor! Help!' Look at you.
You still care.
'Doctor! Help! 'Doctor, help us! Please help us.
' It's impressive, I'll give you that.
River, please Again? Who is this River? She's got to be a woman, am I right? Help me.
Save Amy and Rory.
Help me.
Tell me about her.
Go on.
Aaargh just help me.
'You are unauthorised.
You are unauthorised.
'Your death will now be implemented.
' I love you.
I love you too.
'You are unauthorised.
'You are unauthorised.
You are unauthorised.
'Your death will now be implemented.
Your death will now be implemented.
' Doctor? Doctor, he did it.
He did it! I seem to be able to fly her.
She showed me how, she taught me.
The Doctor says I'm the child of the TARDIS.
What does he mean? Where is he? You can't die now.
I know you don't die now.
Oh, Pond! You've got a schedule for everything.
But it doesn't make any sense.
Doctor, what do we do? Come on.
How do we help you? No, sorry, Rory.
You can't.
Nobody can.
Ponds, listen to me, I need to talk to your daughter.
Find her.
Find River Song and tell her something from me.
Tell her what? Well, I'm sure she knows.
Who's River Song? Are you still working because I'm still a relative? Access files on River Song.
'Records available.
' Show me her.
Show me River Song.
What did he say? The Doctor gave you a message for River Song.
What was it? What's happening? River, what are you doing? Just tell me.
The Doctor, is he worth it? Yes.
Yes, he is.
River? No! What are you doing? Hello, sweetie.
Hey.
Hey.
Where am I? You're safe now.
Apparently, you used all your remaining regenerations in one go.
You shouldn't have done that.
Mother, I had to try.
I know.
He said no-one could save him but he must have known I could.
Rule one.
The Doctor lies.
She just needs to rest.
She'll be absolutely fine.
No, she won't.
She will be amazing.
So that's it? We leave her there? Sisters of the Infinite Schism, greatest hospital in the universe.
Yeah, but she's our daughter.
Doctor, she's River and she's our daughter.
Amy, I know.
But we have to let her make her own way now.
We have too much foreknowledge.
Dangerous thing, foreknowledge.
What's that? Nothing.
Just some data from the Teselecta.
Very boring.
Doctor, River was brainwashed to kill you? Well, she did, and then used her remaining lives to bring me back.
As first dates go, I'd say that was mixed signals.
But that stuff that they put in her head, is that gone now? The River that we know in the future, she is in prison for murder.
Whose murder? Will we see her again? Oh, she'll come looking for us.
Yeah, but how? How do people even look for you? Oh, Pond! Haven't you figured that one out yet? So, then, tell me why do you want to study archaeology? Well, to be perfectly honest, Professor, I'm looking for a good man.
Please save me from the monsters.
Tell me about George.
He's scared of everything.
George! You have to face your fears! You have to face them now! We're dead, again! You see these eyes? They're old eyes.
The one thing I can tell you - monsters are real.