Doctor Who s06e14 Episode Script

Death Is the Only Answer

DOCTOR WHO THEME MUSIC Oh, I've missed you! I can't believe River blew you up.
OK - I didn't mean to do that.
I didn't do THAT.
I'm sure I didn't do that! And, more importantly, where's my fez? Doctor? That is you, is it? Can you explain how my fez got here? Albert Einstein! Nice to see you! What are you doing here? I was working on MY time machine, then it started shaking.
I put my hand in to turn it off, went straight through it and ended up here! So, how's it going, your "time machine"? Oh, not great.
I've singed my eyebrows, almost died twice, and fallen off a cliff.
In fact, I'm quite close to perfecting it.
I think this liquid is the key.
Oh, yes.
But no.
Is it yes or no? No! HE GASPS So how did I get here? You're the original owner of this fez, the fez I happened to be carrying during an unavoidable collision with this lever.
My lever plus your fez equals time-window in the TARDIS - my TARDIS, so don't get any ideas trying to steal it again.
You said you were going to give my toothbrush back.
The Daleks exterminated it last week.
Or was it last century? So, going back to this - I guess it's not bionic fusion liquid.
Never mind.
I'll just run some tests on it.
I made it! I'll do the test.
That's the 20th-century physicist for you always wanting to do it themselves.
Where have you hidden my bicarbonated processing machine? A genius like me needs better than this old trash! Old trash?! I'll have you know this old trash will be around until the end of time.
In fact, it was.
Ah! And, Albert, I almost forgot - do not drink that liquid.
It may Ooh! I like your new look.
It's an Ood, isn't it? You've got the wiggly bits and everything.
Death is the only answer.
What do you mean? Answer to what? OK, you don't want to tell me.
But wait, wait this is what you're looking for.
Power source for your time machine.
CRACKLING What just happened? Long story.
You went a bit Ood - er, a bit odd.
Nice hair.
You should keep it.
It looks more sciencey.
I don't feel too good.
Will you drop me off home, please? OK.
There we are.
HE GRUNTS Ah! Sorry about that.
Exactly what year did you come from? Er, 1945, I think.
TARDIS WHOOSHES Here we go! 1945.
18th of September, about two o'clock.
Oh, well - back to the drawing board.
I guess you're keeping the fez, then.
Well, fezzes look better on me than you - like bow ties.
Typical Doctor! Some things will never change.
Oh, well - goodbye.
Goodbye, Albert.