Doctor Who (1963) s16e06 Episode Script

The Pirate Planet, Part Two

Pralix, can you hear my voice, hmm? What is that? Hello.
Are you, by any chance, the Mentiads? Well, it's just that you look like Mentiads to me.
You see, what I thought was that Gentlemen, the rogue telepath has not been destroyed.
I ordered that he should be so.
He's been allowed to fall into the hands of the Mentiads.
I ordered that he should not be so allowed.
Failure is something I find very hard to come to terms with.
-Right, Mr Fibuli? -Oh, yes, sir.
Very true, sir.
By all the flaming moons of Heretes, not two hours since you very nearly blew up every engine in this mountain! Yes, sir, but the cause was external.
You said that yourself.
Something extraordinary happened to the whole fabric of the space-time continuum at that moment.
Have you discovered the cause of that yet? Not yet, sir.
Busy working on it, sir.
Then you have failed to find it, Mr Fibuli.
Failed, failed, failed! When someone fails me, someone dies! I hope you find the cause very soon, Mr Fibuli.
I hope you will not fail me again.
-Doctor? -Shh! Master? -What hit me? The Mentiads did something.
I don't know what I can tell you.
I wasn't asking you.
What hit me, K9? A gestalt-generated psycho-kinetic blast, Master, on a wavelength of 338.
79 micropars with over-interference patterns reaching a peak power level of 5347.
2 on the Vantalla Psychoscale.
Affirmative, master.
-That's what I thought.
Pralix has gone.
The Mentiads have taken him.
Don't worry, I'll find him.
-That is if he's still alive.
Do you know where the Mentiads live? No, they just arrive in the city and then depart.
They're all too scared to follow them.
-They? Who's they? -The cowards who live in this city.
-You're not frightened? -No.
You just didn't get round to it, is that it? -I mean I will follow them.
-So will I.
And so will I! No, Mula, haven't we lost enough already? Master? -Not now, K9, not now.
Now, K9, can you track the Mentiads by their psycho-spore? Affirmative, master.
Psycho-kinetic energy on that level leaves considerable disturbance in the ether.
Excellent, excellent.
Right, who's coming? Kimus? Mula? Balaton? No, I don't want any part of this madness.
I don't want to hear Mentiads, guards, madness All right, all right.
Romana? Romana? -Where's Romana? -She has been arrested, Master.
-What? -She sent me to inform you.
-Why didn't you? -I made four attempts, Master, but you would not allow me to tell you, Master.
It just means two rescue attempts.
Romana has the Tracer, you see.
-Now, where will they have taken her? -To the Bridge.
No one ever comes back from the Bridge.
-Except the guards.
-No one? Get in.
I shall take that as an invitation.
Thank you.
Will you drive? I assume you know where we're going.
Right, heads, we go after Romana first, tails, we go after Pralix first, hmm? -Tails.
-Heads.
How can you take such a dangerous decision like that, just leaving it to chance? -Two kings on Alderbaran III.
-That's not fair.
Oh, yes, it is.
If my guess is correct, Romana's in much greater danger than Pralix.
Now, how do we get to this Bridge? I'm not going there.
I'm going after Pralix.
-But, Mula -I'll find my own way! Oh, it's no use once she's made up her mind.
-I'll have to go after her myself.
-No, no, you stay here.
-But Mula needs me -I need you.
It'll be all right.
-K9.
-Master.
I'm putting Mula in your charge.
Take her to the Mentiads but look after her.
Is that clearly understood? -Affirmative, Master.
-Off you go.
We'll follow along later.
I had an aircar rather like this once.
It was a present for my 70th birthday.
Did you know that if you realign the magnetic vectors and fit a polarity oscillator, you get twice the speed for half the energy.
That's the Bridge up there.
How do we get to it? -We don't.
-One of those, is it? -Mmm-hmm.
-How do the guards get there? -In their aircars, of course.
-Aircars? Aircars? -Yes.
There's one over there.
-Well, we borrow it.
-Borrow it? That's the Captain's.
Well, I don't mind going first class, do you? -No.
-Shh, come on.
Bye, bye.
Captain.
Captain, sir.
Speak! Bad news, sir.
By the horns of the prophet Balag, speak! The macromat field integrator has burnt out, sir.
It's one of the four components we can't replace ourselves, sir.
Well, we are faced with two alternatives, Captain.
Or three alternatives.
We can try to find a new macromat field integrator, though I can't envisage how we would do that.
Alternatively, there is a very rare mineral, PJX 1 -8, which would, conceivably, do the same job as the integrator, if we could find any.
Either way, sir, in our current condition, we can only possibly make one more jump and that would be risky in the extreme.
And the third alternative, Mr Fibuli? Is for Zanak to settle where it is, sir.
No! By the sky demon, I say no! Hey, this is marvellous.
Freedom at last! -You're not free yet.
-Free to think.
It's amazing.
The city looks so pretty from up here.
Yes, even the mines do.
You know, that's our entire life.
Tell me about those mines.
Well, we extract all the raw material that we need from them.
-Who goes down them? Do you go down? -No.
-Mentiads? -No.
-No one? -No.
They're automated, you see.
We just run the equipment.
What happens when they run out? The Captain announces a new golden age of prosperity.
They just fill up again.
-What, just like that? -Yes.
You don't think that's wrong, do you? Wrong? It's an economic miracle.
Of course it's wrong.
Oh.
-Then, of course, the lights change.
-What lights? You know, the lights, the ones on the sky at night, little points of light.
-Do you mean the stars? -Look, down there.
I think that's some sort of entrance into the mountain.
Might be the way to the Bridge.
Say, you're very good at this.
Do you drive these things for a living? No.
I save planets mostly, but this time I think I've arrived far, far too late.
What is your function? Well, as a Time Lord, I can travel about in space and, of course Common space urchin.
You shall die! And, of course, time, hence Time Lord.
Time travel? You expect me to believe such nonsense? -Yes, it is a difficult concept -The insolent breath of idle fantasy! Death comes now! Captain? Captain? The excitement of more than one execution in a day is bad for your blood pressure.
Perhaps you should postpone it till tomorrow.
-Postpone? -Yes.
I think her story sounds quite interesting, even if it is idle fantasy.
Why don't you ask her how this machine she mentions travels? Speak.
Well, roughly speaking, and putting it terribly simply, it dematerialises in one location, passes through a space-time vortex and then rematerialises again in a new location.
I think that sounds terribly interesting, don't you? -Well? -It's locked.
We'll never get it open.
It's impossible.
Impossible? That means it'll take 73 seconds.
We can ill afford it.
Move over.
-What, you mean you can open it? -Well, of course, I can open it.
-It's just a question of how.
-How? I haven't got the faintest idea.
Hmm.
-But it's still locked.
-I haven't finished yet.
Bent hairpin.
The more sophisticated the technology, the more vulnerable it is to primitive attack.
People often overlook the obvious.
-Doctor, that's amazing.
-Shall we go? Well, whatever it is, it's obviously burnt out.
A whining infant could tell me that.
Your time is running out.
I'm sorry.
I was never any good at antiques.
It's probably just an old macromat field integrator or something.
Captain, she does know.
By the beard of the Sky Demon, the jaws of death were hot about your neck.
That must be part of a massive dematerialisation circuit.
It is part of a system that transports us instantly through space.
You mean the whole mountain? You take this whole mountain with you through space? Amazing.
Doctor, this goes on forever.
Yes, certainly looks like it.
Come on, we'd better hurry.
-Doctor, what's happening? -Come on.
Kimus, I want you to do something very important for me.
-Yes.
-Go out to the aircar, -fetch the guard's gun -Right! stand outside on guard.
-No, Doctor, I think I'll come with you.
-No, no, no.
That's the most valuable thing you can do.
There are so many things here you can't understand, and a linear induction corridor is one of them.
See you later.
I'll never be cruel to an electron in a particle accelerator again.
Good heavens.
Ah, of course! It isn't a linear induction corridor.
It must work by neutralizing inertia.
A lift? Do you think she can repair it, Mr Fibuli? Well, sir, in my opinion, it's irreparable.
But it occurs to me she must have something similar aboard her own vessel.
Girl, what is your diagnosis? Can it be repaired? Repaired? Yes, I should think so.
You'd have to ask the Doctor, though.
Doctor? Are there more intruders upon this planet? Oh, yes.
I'm only his assistant.
He's the one you should be talking to.
Or rather, listening to, if you have the stamina.
All guards on alert.
There is an intruder on the planet.
His name is the Doctor.
I repeat, the Doctor.
He must be found and brought to the Bridge instantly.
We must find the Doctor.
-Hello, hello, I'm the Doctor.
-Hello.
So glad I could meet you.
I've heard so much about what a splendid chap you are.
I see you've met my assistant Romana.
Getting on like a house on fire, are you? She's a lovely girl.
What a splendid place you've got here.
Are you having a spot of bother? Seize him! Such hospitality.
I'm underwhelmed.
Doctor, beware.
Your manner appeals only to the homicidal side of my nature.
My manners are impeccable.
Doctor, I think this is the root of the trouble.
Macromat field integrator? Has the whizz-bang gone wrong? Yes, and the amblicyclic photon bridge.
And the amblicyclic photon Would you mind if I examined its locus? Locus? There, there, Captain.
Release him.
Take them to the engine room.
If they make one mistake, kill them.
-Oh, Mr Fibuli? -Hmm? Whoa! -Look at that, Romana.
-Amazing.
I suppose you're going to tell me you've seen it all before.
No, actually, not like this.
-Really? -Really.
I suspected something of the kind.
Come on, let's look busy.
Well, I never.
-What do you mean, you -Shh.
What do you mean, you suspected? Gravitic anomalising input reading, 9.
5.
Gravitic anomalising input, 9.
5.
Check.
I mean I had my suspicions.
You mean you knew they were here? You knew that this mountain's really a spaceship and it's broken down? -More or less, yes.
-But how? How did you know? Well, I just put 1.
795372 and 2.
204628 together.
And what does that mean? -Four.
-Four.
What are they after, Captain, and what do they want here? That is what we must find out.
We must let them lead us into their vessel.
The guards have tried to gain entry to it but have failed.
So we must allow them a little rope.
-Romana.
-Mmm-hmm? We are in very, very, very great danger.
-From the Captain? -Yes.
He's just a terrible, old bully.
All that ''by the evil nose of the Sky Demon'' nonsense is just bluster.
The Captain is a very clever and very dangerous man.
He's playing with us.
He wants to find out why we've come here.
The reason why we've come here is to find the second segment of the key, in case you'd forgotten.
Getting involved in all this Is the only way to find it.
What does the tracer say? I just don't understand it.
It seems to give out a continuous signal, wherever we go.
-That's it, then.
-What? The answer.
Romana, we've stumbled on one of the most heinous crimes ever committed in this galaxy.
We've got to get out of here and get out of here quickly.
Captain? Your magnifactoid eccentricolometer is definitely on the blink.
You know what will happen if I even begin to suspect you of sabotage? Sabotage? Captain, it's more than my reputation's worth.
Or your life.
Or my life, as you say.
Yes, yes.
We've got to go back to our own ship now and prepare some special equipment.
The girl stays here.
Well, I'm afraid that's not possible.
You see, we have a special lock fitted to the TARDIS door, and it requires the physical presence of both of us to open.
That's clever, don't you think? Guards, escort them to their ship.
Any attempt to escape is to be met with instant obliteration.
It's a pleasure to work with you, Captain.
Come on, don't just stand there.
Escort us.
Standing around all day looking tough must be very wearing on the nerves, hmm? I said standing around all day looking tough must be very wearing on the nerves.
Long hours, violence, no intellectual stimulation.
Doctor! And now this happens.
I'd give it up, if I were you.
-Kimus.
-Doctor? -We've got a lot of travelling to do.
-Where are we going? To investigate your miraculous mines.
Come on.
This is where the Mentiads'psycho-spore ends.
-You mean they live there? The Mentiads? -Affirmative.
Escaped? Escaped? Your incompetence beggars the imagination! Teeth of the Devil, there will be blood for this! There will be blood! This way.
The interior of the mines are fully automated.
There is an ancient lift shaft, but nobody's used it in living memory.
-Why not? -The penalty is death.
I can see there wouldn't be much incentive.
You know, I think that'll work.
Let's see.
Right.
Now hold on very tight.
Captain, they're in the mineshaft.
The mineshaft.
Moons of madness! -Mr Fibuli? -Yes, sir.
We must find a way of breaking into their vessel without their help.
Once they've seen what lies at the bottom of the mineshaft, they must never leave alive.
Never! Guards, the intruders in the mineshaft must be obliterated.
Where are we, Doctor? About three miles beneath the surface of Zanak, I'd say.
Three miles? Yes.
But it's so cold.
Yes, and wet and icy.
Ah! Romana, this entire planet's hollow.
-Hollow? -Yes, hollow.
Hollow! Can't you work it out? Go on, take a look.
Go on, look.
Look! You all right? It's all beyond me, Doctor.
I don't know where I am.
It's frozen ground, Doctor.
I don't understand.
Cold, wet.
Come here, listen.
Now listen, Kimus.
The reason the stars in your sky change is because they don't.
-They don't? -No.
Your entire planet jumps through space.
-Those engines.
-Yes, those engines.
Huge enough to dematerialise an entire hollow planet, flip it halfway across the galaxy and rematerialise it round its chosen prey.
-You mean other planets? -Yes, like a huge fist.
It's one huge mining machine that mines planets, extracts all the valuable minerals and leaves the rubble behind.
Then what we're standing on now Is the planet we originally came looking for.
-Calufrax.
-Calufrax? Buried inside Zanak? Buried inside Zanak, the pirate planet, and having the goodness sucked out of it.
Do you mean that whole other worlds have died to make us rich? Whole other worlds like ours? -Whole other worlds.
-Some of them inhabited.
The Oolion stone I picked up in the street.
Bandraginus V! I knew I'd heard that name somewhere before.
I remember now.
About 1 00 years ago, it disappeared without trace.
A planet of a thousand million souls.
Captain fodder.
Bandraginus V, by every last breath in my body, you'll be avenged.
-Doctor? -Yes? The Tracer, it's gone mad.
The second segment must be down here somewhere.
Yes, I thought so.
-Doctor! There they are.
Kill them.
Kill them! Kill them! Doctor, we have come for you.

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