Doom Patrol (2019) s01e12 Episode Script

Cyborg Patrol

1 VIC: Previously on Doom Patrol VIC: What's the Bureau of Normalcy? LARRY: It's a top secret government agency run by a bunch of demented zealots.
FORSYTHE: Welcome to your new base of operations, Captain Trainor.
I'm Agent Charles Forsythe, DOD.
LARRY: Who's Darren Jones? MAURA LEE: A couple of years back, Darren Jones botched a search-and-destroy mission on Danny.
I killed my mom.
Hey, this is bullshit! [MUFFLED EXPLOSION] Grid, authenticate footage.
VIC: There is this tiny voice in my head that believes Mr.
Nobody when he says that You don't even have memories.
You have programming.
VIC: The rest of the team can't know.
They'll worry I'm turning into that psychopath in Jane's painting.
Grid went haywire.
- How's Grid now? - Turned it off.
The machine's taking over.
And I can't stop it.
Look at my elbow.
Look at my elbow.
Look at my fist, motherfucker.
[BOTH SCREAM] Vic! Hello, Victor.
Welcome to the Ant Farm.
MAJOR ARBUCKLE: which brings us to recent events.
This botched raid, foremost.
GS-9 PATTERSON: "Failure to retrieve Agent Morris Wilson.
" Wilson was a defector and a traitor.
MAJOR ARBUCKLE: Either way, he remains at large.
Disappeared along with this Danny the Street.
I think the General would agree we are starting to question your ability to effectively execute our priorities, Agent Jones.
GS-9 PATTERSON: This Dolores Project.
A long-term stakeout and surveillance operation you initiated years ago has cost the bureau millions.
Just yesterday, one of the men you'd assigned to it was injured.
And with nothing to show for it.
Not quite nothing, sir.
In the interest of discretion, I excluded certain details from my official report.
As a matter of fact, yesterday's operation yielded something quite interesting.
Cyborg? I acknowledge it's a sensitive acquisition.
But the applications are limitless.
This could harm our relationship with S.
Not to mention if it got out that we'd obtained such a well-known figure I hear your concerns.
But we've been dependent on S.
Labs as subcontractors for some time.
Whether we weaponize him, or we scrape the asset for proprietary technologies, the intelligence we gather could render this relationship redundant.
It's a big risk, but with a big upshot.
General? We mustn't upset the butts.
GS-9 PATTERSON: Okay, Jones.
You've gotta tell us.
How did your team apprehend Cyborg? It was surprisingly easy sir.
[MUFFLED GROANS] You can't do this to me.
You can't do this to me.
Do you know who I am? [GROANS] Who my father is? He's with S.
Labs, Silas Stone.
Automatic nanite regrowth here.
Ahh! Listen to me.
[GROANS] No regeneration here.
[CLANKS] Well, we've confirmed his operating system is missing.
What I didn't expect is how limited his functions would be without it.
What? You don't know shit! [WINCING] Get off me.
[PROD CLICKING] [SCREAMING] This is the great Cyborg? [SCREAMING] Is this what you saw at the park? That looks older, but yeah.
- [SIGHS] - What is it? The Bureau of Normalcy.
The men you and Vic fought on Danny the Street? LARRY: Yeah.
When the Bureau was founded at the turn of the last century, it was called the Bureau of Oddities.
It was a secret division of the government tasked with investigating the odd and unusual.
Sometime after World War I, their mission changed.
Their focus shifted.
To containment, weaponization, and eradication.
How do you know all this? Because I was one of their assets.
For years.
They studied me tortured me.
Where? The Ant Farm.
It's the Bureau's research and containment facility.
It's top secret, deep underground, it's like Area 51 meets Dante's Inferno.
So we go there, we spring Vic loose No.
No, we don't.
We can't.
There's no walking into or out of the Ant Farm.
I only ever got out because Niles got me out.
CLIFF: Well, Niles is gone.
Yes, but Silas isn't.
He might know what to do.
He's got connections.
If anyone can get Vic out [RITA AND JANE] No.
[CLEARS THROAT] Vic wouldn't want us involving his father.
He doesn't trust him.
I agree.
Silas is a grade-A douchenozzle.
Is it possible this will just work itself out? Vic's not like us! He's fucking Cyborg! A real superhero.
He can use his computer thingie, bust himself free, I don't know send a text to Batman! Unless he doesn't have his computer thingie.
He offloaded Grid.
Why? Grid was malfunctioning.
Vic was struggling.
Ever since Mr.
Nobody blew up his arm and we pushed the reset, his cyber-whatever has been taking over.
He's becoming more machine.
And you both knew this? Well, fuck! - [KNOCKING AT DOOR] - SILAS: Vic! - RITA: We told you - JANE: Vic's not here.
CLIFF: Yeah, he's on a mission.
Superhero shit.
SILAS: I know he's here.
Now, Victor may have locked me out, but I still receive non-specific system alerts.
Grid was compromised 12 hours ago somewhere inside this building.
[RITA CLEARS THROAT] What the hell's been going on in here? [BEEPING] [SLOW BEEPING] - This can't be happening.
- What? It's Grid.
He put his computer-thingie in that computer-thingie? If Grid is here where the hell is my son? Uh, just wanna say snitches get stitches.
The Ant Farm.
- [METAL DOOR OPENING] - [VIC SCREAMS] [VIC GRUNTING] Let me out! You can't do this to me! Hey! [MUFFLED SCREAMING] [BREATHING HEAVILY] [GRUNTING] MAN: Hey, buddy? You're looking for a way out? Trying to escape? [MAN CHUCKLES] 'Cause that never works.
I should know.
- [LAUGHS] - [WOMAN'S VOICE CHATTERS ON TV] Who're you? I'm 722.
722? Well, that's my name.
Are you sure that's not your room number? [CHUCKLES] One and the same, bud.
Hey, buddy.
Don't be so sad.
It's It's not so bad in here, really.
You get three three squares a day, and all of them are sandwiches.
[MUFFLED] And who doesn't like sandwiches? [LAUGHS] Plus, you get to serve your country.
- That's good, right? - Serve your - Serve your country? - Well, yeah.
Well, every so often they come and get you, and and then you leave Well And then Well, I don't know what happens then.
But usually, when you come back, there's a a perk waitin' for ya.
I got this armchair.
[LAUGHS] And a color television.
I got my fuzzy slippers.
[CHUCKLES] So cozy.
Exactly how long have you been kept in here? Well, I can't recall the exact date.
You know the soap opera, Secret Hearts? It was around the time when that premiered.
I think that was in the '60s, so Well, anyhow, sometime after that.
Or was it before that? Shit.
[BEEPING] [SOFTLY] What the hell? [TYPING] This doesn't make sense.
What doesn't make sense? Vic.
He was running diagnostics, obsessively.
It's as if he thought He was being hijacked by his own tech? Tech that was installed by his overbearing father? Oh, burn! Hijacked? That isn't possible.
So it wasn't disobeying Vic's commands? Something I saw happen with my own eyes, and his - Ninates.
- Nanites.
his nanites weren't trying to take over his body? Not unless he was injured.
The emergency protocol.
The nanites which I might remind you Victor and your robot pal here triggered, only repair damaged tissue.
I wouldn't have built it any other way.
Vic knows that.
You should've known that.
Unless he thought you wanted him that way.
Full machine.
I built that protocol to save my son's life.
You think I'd Doesn't matter what we think.
You say these nanites couldn't take over, couldn't start repairing healthy tissue.
But do you know that for sure? [BEEPING] I took you offline.
GRID: Any deterioration can and will be reversed.
What're you talking about? GRID: Just as the emergency protocol's nanites healed your injuries, my system has regenerated itself.
I have been restored.
I'm still working on repairing your eye light.
No, no, no, that's not possible.
Nanites heal injuries, not Your father and I already discussed this.
What? Your father and I already discussed this.
ELINORE: Your father and I already discussed it.
You should be kissing my behind right about now VIC: You're the one who told me that I should be spending more time with my friends.
ELINORE: Not at the expense of your grades.
VIC: That's bullshit! [EXPLODES] [WHIRRING, BEEPING] Stop.
- VIC: That's bullshit! - [EXPLODES] Grid.
Stop! - [VOICES CONTINUE] - [VIC SCREAMS] [VOICES GET LOUDER] ELINORE: Not at the expense of your grades.
VIC: That's bullshit! Turn it off! - [BEEPING] - [NOISES STOP] [BREATHES HEAVILY] GRID: System override.
- [WHIRRING] - GRID: Rebooting.
I don't need to remind you what we owe each other.
So if you could just Yes.
Let me know if you hear anything.
That's the last of them.
Every string I have to pull.
My contacts on the outside, the DOD, the NSA, none of them know anything.
Or if they do they're not telling me.
CLIFF: Vic's been disappeared.
There must be something you can do.
You know those creeps.
You've worked with those creeps.
You basically are one of those creeps.
The Bureau has Cyborg.
They obtained him extra-legally.
They have no reason to engage with me.
And however they obtained him, he's far too valuable to give up.
My name, my influence mean nothing.
I can't do this alone.
- Uh - Do what? - Break in.
- In? Wait, to the Ant Farm? - With you? - For this to work, - I need you.
All of you.
- [RITA LAUGHS] This is a joke.
You must be joking! You can't seriously be considering this.
Jane? After everything Vic told us, you want to trust this man with your life, with all of our lives? Cliff? Larry.
Of all the people, you you want to go back to Dante's Inferno? I'm losing my mind.
[SIGHS] What kind of break-in are we talking about? [SIGHS] I'll need to see Niles' closets.
WOMAN [ON TV]: But if you're his son, that makes me Mommy.
GRID: Would you like me to run another diagnostic? No.
GRID: Would you like me to run another diagnostic? No.
GRID: Would you like me to run another diagnostic? You're not real.
GRID: Would you like me to run another diagnostic? [SOFTLY] No.
Hey! He already told you he doesn't wanna run another diagnostic.
WOMAN ON TV: My poor, sweet Kenneth.
[WOMAN ON TV CONTINUES TALKING] You heard that? Well, yeah.
Why? How? Hey, buddy, mind if we talk about this later? I'm in the middle of a show here.
How are you real? How are you real? GRID: Would you like me to run another diagnostic? [WHIRRING, BEEPING] [WINCES] No.
You can't [GROANS] Ah, God.
[BEEPING, WHIRRING] [WINCES IN PAIN] GRID: Would you like me to run another diagnostic? How are you real? Just stop! Elinore! Elinore! Elinore! Elinore! [MUFFLED] Elinore! [CONTINUES SCREAMING] Like I said, he's been like this for hours.
And it's only getting worse.
[VIC CONTINUES SCREAMING] Are you telling me we got bupkis from his intake procedure? Zip? Zilch? And the kid is completely off his gourd? VIC: How are you real? Fuck! [VIC SCREAMING] I get it.
I don't wanna go back either.
But Silas has a plan.
And we need to do this.
For Vic.
- This it? - Yeah, conveniently located.
Ample parking.
And only high-level Bureau personnel know how to operate this thing.
Larry? All good.
Time to suit up.
[CANNED MUSIC PLAYING] [MIMICS CHEWBACCA] Seriously, no one saw Star Wars? [BEEPING] [BEEPING] Hold on.
[RUMBLING] [SCREAMS] Wh-wh-what the fuck? [ALL SCREAMING] RITA: Oh, I'm gonna throw up! [GROANS] [RETCHES] What is this fuckery? SILAS: Almost there.
[ELEVATOR DINGS] VOICE OVER PA SYSTEM: Maintenance required in sector A Everybody good? LARRY: Define good.
Maintenance required.
Come this way.
It's okay.
We're okay.
[WHIRRING] What the hell are those things? LARRY: The operators.
Don't stare.
Freeze! CLIFF: What the fuck? JONES: Welcome.
Glad all of you could make it.
What the f CLIFF: Jane! Motherfucker! LARRY: Okay, pal.
If there was ever a time to fight, it's You have no idea how satisfying that was.
Shall I take you to your son? What the Judas fuck! JONES: What's Niles Caulder gonna do when he finds out you surrendered all his toys to us? Haven't you heard? Niles in MIA.
There's not much he can do.
[JONES LAUGHS] Stone-cold Silas Stone.
I guess you can take the man out of the Ant Farm Let's get something straight.
You and your ilk destroyed what this place used to be.
Trust me, - I'm out.
- Hmm.
You're gonna wanna prepare yourself.
[SOFTLY] How are you real? [NORMAL VOICE] How are you real? Victor? Dad? I thought no one was gonna come.
I'm here.
I'm here.
No, Grid, stop.
What did they do to you? JONES [OVER PA SYSTEM]: We didn't do anything.
We found him like this.
Now, Silas, I know what you're thinking.
But, no [LAUGHS] There'll be no take-backsies on this deal.
Deal? What deal? It is an absolute pleasure to be in your presence again, Trainor.
Couldn't believe when they said you were back.
But I'll be damned.
What've you done? So you sense it.
A supernumerary phantom limb sensation.
What're you talking about? You may have left the Ant Farm rather prematurely, Trainor But not in spirit.
You'll pardon the pun.
You see we never stopped working on you.
[ELECTRICAL BUZZING] [BEEPING] So what're you gonna do to me? Torture? Surgery? Reprogramming? 'Cause let me warn you, I've been through a lot.
A shit ton.
Hive-mind Nazis, giant evil eye, whole fucking town being swallowed up.
Stabbed an alligator in two for my daughter.
So lay it on me, four-eyes.
Take your best shot 'cause I don't crack! Primitive design.
What? Hey, wh Hey! Welding, subpar.
Circuitry, rudimentary at best.
Limited motor function.
CLIFF: Uh, no, no, no, you might not realize this, dude, but I'm a functioning human brain in a robot.
How many times have you seen that? LAB TECH: About a dozen.
The BON got pretty Looney Tunes in the Nixon years, stuffing brains into everything.
We still have a super sarcastic toaster that we use on the newbies.
[CHUCKLES] It's fun.
A toaster? Subject is recommended for the "Scrap and Recycle" program.
Recycle? Scrap? Didn't you hear me? The alligator, the Nazis? I'm a fucking unstoppable force! Dude, we stopped you with a magnet.
[SNIFFS] [JANE MOANS] Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.
[DIRK CHUCKLES] They wanted me to run some tests on you.
Flip through a couple of Rorschachs.
Should we give it a try? What do you see? Hmm? Bitch who broke my arm.
Bitch who broke my arm.
And bitch who broke my arm who's about to get what's coming to her.
You see that observation glass over there? Paid the guy off.
No witnesses.
Don't worry, Jane.
I'm a gentleman.
I promise to take it nice and slow.
Oh, uh I'm sorry, discount Dexter.
Did you say something? [CLANGS] You can't do this.
I'm more than a machine.
I'm a mind.
Why do you think they saved my brain? I'm a genius! LAB TECH: All right, genius.
- Two trains.
- Trains? Train A, traveling 70 miles per hour leaves Westford, heading towards Eastford, which is 260 miles away.
- Wait, slow down.
- Train B, traveling 60 miles per hour, leaves Eastford, heading towards Westford.
When do the two trains meet? Uh Now, you said two trains? Literally, high school math.
I'm not a goddamn mathematician! Oh, goddamn you, you sick, conceited ass! Sure I look like some kind of metal garbage Frankenstein.
But I have thoughts, desires, My head is a library of faces and places, and shitty ad jingles that I can't forget.
I am a soul.
A mind.
A person! Frankenstein's the name of the scientist, not the monster.
FORSYTHE: One walking, talking, human dirty bomb.
You're the tool and energy with power to transcend space and time.
One asset split into two.
Think of the applications.
This being of energy should be a feather in the agency's cap for decades to come.
And you, with your radioactive properties, should serve us well.
Although, at this stage, your survival is a little more "wait and see.
" You traded them? Why would you do that? I had to.
You're a monster.
You are all that I have! Everything seems wrong right now, but I promise you, it will all work out.
It will be okay.
So, we're getting captured.
On purpose.
And tortured, right? Chances are these psychofucks will want to take us apart.
There will be torture.
Physical, psychological.
So captured and tortured.
Great plan.
It's a big ask.
- But - It's the only way.
[SIGHS] You expect them to trust this insane plan, to trust you? The only thing we know about the Ant Farm is that they're impenetrable and vicious.
We already know they want Larry.
Rita, that's the point.
Let's say [SIGHS] you get them in, and this ridiculous plan somehow works out.
How do you rescue them? Actually, Miss Farr that's where you come in.
You're the linchpin.
Okay, Rita.
[RITA'S VOICE ECHOES] Oh, thank God.
- [SQUELCHING] - RITA: Get me the hell out of here.
I can't take it anymore.
Ew! Ew.
Cliff, that was excruciating! Your insides smell like an old, greasy oil drum.
Hey, that wasn't me! It was the rat that was running around inside me.
I told Vic to put an air freshener in there.
RITA: Ugh.
Just avert your eyes.
No peeping! What? Oh, sure.
- You don't use a moisturizer, do you? - Cliff! All right, all right.
Just hurry up before the stupid know-it-all scientist gets back.
Little witch.
Rita! Get me down, we gotta find the others.
Making you feel small and stupid and useless.
You're not useless! Hi.
Uh [SCREAMS] [GROANS] See, Cliff? You're plenty useful.
[ACE OF BASE'S "THE SIGN" PLAYING] I saw the sign And it opened up my eyes I saw the sign Life is demanding Without understanding I saw the sign And it opened up my eyes I saw the sign No one's gonna Drag you up To get into the light Where you belong But where do you belong We get it, doucheflap.
You saw Reservoir Dogs.
Do me a solid, chop off my ears already, so that I don't have to listen to another verse of Ace of fucking Base! All right.
How about I skip the pageantry and get right to the part where I rip you into little pieces, huh? [SONG SKIPS] Damn it! [SONG CHANGES] No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, my God, that's my song! Well, now it's our song.
We've got nothing to lose [DIRK LAUGHING] Okay, okay.
Favorite book? - Ready? - Mmm-hmm.
BOTH: One, two, three.
Fault in Our Stars.
Oh, my God! That's it, that's it, we're meant to be.
- Mmm.
- We're meant to be, you're perfect.
You're perfect, Doug.
It's Dirk.
Sure, that's what I said.
[BOTH GIGGLING] Karen? Oh, God.
[GASPS] Riri! What the hell? This is not part of the plan! Are these guys bothering you, sweetie? They so are, puppycakes.
Do you wanna take care of them for me, please? Trust me.
You don't want a piece of this, cuck-face.
[DIRK SCREAMS] Miss me, pretty boy? [JANE/HAMMERHEAD SHOUTS] [VOICE OVER PA SYSTEM] Containment breach.
Containment breach.
- [ALARM BLARING] - Sectors A and A1, please follow lockdown protocol.
[ALARM CONTINUES BLARING] Will someone fucking hurry up and give me some answers? AGENT: Sir.
- Sir.
- [SHOUTS] What? It's the generals.
[ALARM BLARING, VOICES IN THE DISTANCE] Hey! - What's going on? - You can't leave us in here! Victor, listen to me.
There's a plan.
Your friends are getting free, but you're the last piece.
We need your help to get out of the Ant Farm.
RITA: You were supposed to stay put.
You all stay put, and I get you out.
Didn't you hear Silas? I'm the linchpin.
Yeah, well, tell that to the psycho blonde living inside me.
Let's just concentrate on finding Larry.
This is exactly what we were concerned about! You promised us that everything was under control.
JONES: I assure you, everything is under control.
Are you okay? I don't know.
CLIFF: Come on, let's go.
Is that Yeah.
You're coming with me, pal.
JANE: How do we find Vic? The high-priority wing.
This way.
What about the rest? There could be hundreds of 'em.
Weirdos like us.
We can't just leave them.
- CLIFF: God damn it.
You again? Big mess you made here today.
Rita Farr.
[CHUCKLES] My wife was a big fan of your movies.
Threw a dinner party once, '50s theme.
Your movies were the inspiration.
Home-cooked meal, perfectly set table.
Well, almost perfectly set.
The chinaware was all there.
But there was a fork, one mismatched abomination with a plastic handle.
The only one of its kind at the whole table.
So I took that fork, and I jammed it in her eye.
Over and over and over again.
If we can't protect what's normal in this world, then what're we left with? You sick fuck! - [LAUGHS] - [DOOR OPENS] LAB TECH: They're loose! [PEOPLE SCREAMING] The butts are loose! [SCREAMING CONTINUES] [MANIACAL VOICES] [HEAVY BREATHING] Oh, shit.
MAN: Fire! Fire! [ROARING] No! [RINGING] - Yes.
- MAN: General, sir.
The butts are loose.
I understand.
God be with you.
- [ROARING] - [PEOPLE SCREAMING] Gentlemen, it has been an honor.
[GUNSHOT FIRED] We gotta go.
What the hell is that? It's Grid.
- Grid? - We need Cyborg.
GRID: Recovering archive footage.
Labs, January 2014.
[SILAS'S VOICE] Installing this emergency trigger, this reset, could save his life.
What the hell is this? What? [SILAS'S VOICE] Something happens on the field, it has the power to generate entire limbs.
Cybernetic limbs.
Vic, we need to go now! Vic, we gotta go.
No, no! What the hell is that? I told you, it's Grid! - You're lying to me.
- What? Why would I lie to you? Victor, I don't know what's going on with you right now, - but we are in danger here.
- Why did you do this to me? What? You made me this thing, a monster.
I saved you.
And I am trying to save you now.
Get that away from me! - I swear to God - You need this! And I need you to trust me! [LAB ASSISTANT'S VOICE] Sir, I'm not gonna tell you how to parent.
- [SILAS' VOICE] Damn right you're not.
- LAB ASSISTANT: I just Have you considered the possible ramifications? Under certain conditions, these nanites they can go rogue.
Vic could become fully cybernetic, all machine.
There would be nothing left of your son.
[CHUCKLING SOFTLY] What a masterpiece! I mean, forget Black Box, let's take this straight to Broadway.
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY] The stunning conclusion of Cyborg's origin story.
[CHUCKLING] - What did you do? - Me? You punched him.
No, no, this was all you, Victor.
Sure, Silas put the reset button in, Cliff pressed it, but it was your squishy brain that took the wheel from there.
I mean, come on.
Grid taunting you with videos of your father saying the exact, on-the-nose, worst possible things you could imagine.
The last one wasn't even real.
That was a Mr.
Nobody straight-to-video special.
You're welcome.
Vic, you bought it! [LAUGHING] You know I told you when we first met, don't come looking for me! But you shiny, glossy, front-page superheroes, you're all alike.
You can't wait to prove yourself.
You can't wait to get the bad guy.
Well, look what you've done.
[SOBS] Dad.
Dad, Dad, Dad.
It's so sad, you know? I mean, you do know, don't you? Deep behind the brambles of all of that depressing negative self talk, dear Silas Stone really loved his son.
He only wanted the best for you.
[LAUGHING] Whoops.
Daddy, wake up.
Dad Dad.