Doom Patrol (2019) s02e04 Episode Script

1
Do you have to leave so soon?
We've only just finished teatime.
I'm afraid so.
If I have another cup of tea,
I might turn into a teapot.
I'll not be gone long.
And I'll never be further away
than a blink from one
of Danny's traffic lights.
Now, remember, they're
in charge when I'm gone.
Right, Danny?
Next time you visit,
can we go outside together?
I could see the traffic lights
and everything else up
there where Danny is.
Danny's everywhere.
- They're all around you.
- I know they are.
But I still get lonely.
- Sometimes I just wish
- Don't!
I told you never to say that word!
Wishes can have a terrible cost.
Promise me you'll be good
for your dad and for Danny, hmm?
Farewell, my friend,
and thank you.
We've discussed this, Danny.
I'm needed elsewhere.
The work I'm doing will make the world
a safer place for you and for Dorothy.
It's not forever, it's just until I
It's
It's just un
She needs you, Danny.
I need you.
As long as you're around,
I know everything is gonna be okay.
Try not to worry too much, Dorothy.
Danny's always bounced back.
But if Danny isn't even a brick
how will Danny ever become a street?
- And if Danny can't be
- Danny made you a promise.
There'll always be a
place for you there.
I'll get it.
You're thinking of sending
her back, aren't you?
I am thinking of nothing but
helping to cure a very
treasured friend, thank you.
Niles, that little girl will simply die
if she finds out that you're
even considering send
Please, Rita, save it for the stage.
I've done nothing,
I've decided nothing.
Hi, there. I'm Flex Mentallo,
the Man of Muscle Mystery.
And my friends and
I are here to help.
Maura Lee Karupt.
Captain Larry Trainor.
Dad, company's here.
- Good to see you again, Flex.
- Doc.
All of you, welcome.
I wish it were in better circumstances.
We came as soon as we could.
I felt the muscle spasm
in my upper thigh,
and I knew Danny was in trouble.
- How bad is it?
- I'm not an expert, but if I had to guess,
I'd say, extremely bad.
Well, there must be something we can do.
Can't you just Pump Danny up?
I don't pump, I flex.
But, unfortunately, Rita,
Danny's far too conceptual for
mortal musculature to comprehend.
Actually, she might be on to something.
There's more than one
way to pump our friend up.
Danny was never just a street.
- Danny is an idea
- Yes.
- powered by you and I
- Yes!
- powered by love
- Yes!
- powered by laughter
- Yes!
- powered by joy
- Yes!
powered by music!
Just because the pulse is slowed
- doesn't mean the heart is gone.
- Yes.
- Doesn't mean we can't resuscitate.
- Yes!
Doesn't mean we can't fill our friend
with joy, love, and laughter.
Yes!
- Y'all know what I'm talking about?
- Yes!
Tell us what you're talking about.
I'm talking about a party, y'all.
Yes!
Oh, wonderful.
So, now I have to plan a party?
No. You actually don't.
Who's this little angel, Niles?
This is my daughter, Dorothy.
She's a very old friend of Danny.
Pleasure to meet you, Dorothy.
See? Everything's going to be all right.
Our friends will get Danny back
to their old self by bedtime.
Who's up top?
The painter.
Hmm.
- What?
- Nothing.
I, uh
The Hangman's beautiful Daughter
just doesn't exactly
scream leadership potential.
She can fuckin' paint.
Which means she has one fuckin' talent,
which is one more than you.
Great.
Good. Love the confidence.
It doesn't fuckin' take much
to pack up and leave, Jane.
She could paint outside. She
could paint a fuckin' landscape!
Maybe she doesn't want to leave.
She's not the only one. Look around you.
There are more people down here
who care about the things
up there than ever before.
Get this through your
fucking head, Jane!
Up there doesn't matter!
The only thing that matters is Kay,
the kid down here!
It is our job to protect her.
And she deserves better
than your fucking friends!
I can't believe we're
back here with the Chief,
tails between our legs,
and all that shit.
I mean, fuck, I at least thought
the one thing I could do
was be a better father
than old man Mengele.
Pretty fucking low bar to clear.
Why don't you just leave?
That's what we're doing.
Really?
Where would you go?
Somewhere quiet
where I can paint.
But who pays for everything?
- What do you eat? Where do you sleep?
- I don't know.
That's not my job.
Whose job is it?
The lady with the sun for a head?
Somehow, I doubt she's preapproved
for a fucking bank loan.
I, uh I just paint.
That's all I want to do.
That's all I'm supposed to do.
You'll figure it out.
Jane always did.
We'll need flowers here, here, and here.
Some mood lighting.
And then, we need to clear all this.
I think we can handle that.
Mmm.
Whoa!
Flowers?
- Anything else?
- Mmm.
May I?
I may not be able to flex,
but my powers have gotten
pretty impressive as well.
Watch this.
Did it work?
Yes. Hmm. Yes, it worked perfectly.
Now I'm going to go
get a ladder.
Well, hey there, little lady.
Why the long face?
This is just how I look.
You look lovely.
What I meant was is,
why do you seem so down in the dumps?
- I dropped Danny.
- Hmm.
That's how things got this bad.
It's all my fault.
I see.
Well, if you broke them
then you gotta help fix 'em, right?
Mmm-hmm. Hmm.
We still need to hang that disco
ball, but I dunno how to.
Wait a minute.
Do you think you can
lend me a hand with this?
Yeah?
All right.
Just be sure to hold
on extra tight. Okay?
You ready?
That was perfect.
I can't believe I finally
met the Dannyzens!
They're really cool.
But you lived on Danny the Street,
you never once went up top?
No, never.
Where did you live?
I lived underneath Danny
in the door factory.
I could hear the parties,
but I never got to go to a Danny party.
Well, that sounds a tad tragic.
This is my first Danny party, too.
Come, sit.
What does it feel like to be a grown-up?
To be honest,
it can be stressful.
How do you make yourself so beautiful?
Well, we're all beautiful, Dorothy.
But sometimes, we use enhancements.
How old are you?
Eleven.
But how many years
have you been alive?
A hundred and three-quarters.
Well, I guess you've
earned a bit of lipstick.
Ladies sit still.
Dorothy?
I turn my back for one minute,
and you get into mischief.
Rita said I was old enough.
- I will talk to Rita.
- You're embarrassing me.
Dorothy, you are too young to wear this.
I'm not as young as you think I am.
Party people
binary and non-binary
Everybody listen.
This isn't working.
Danny is not whole yet.
We got to turn the party up a notch
and I got a new friend who's
got just the trick to do it.
What are you up to, Dorothy?
It's our favorite.
This is a song that always
reminds me of Danny.
Come with me ♪
And you'll be ♪
In a world of pure imagination ♪
Take a look ♪
And you'll see ♪
Into your imagination ♪
We'll begin with a spin ♪
- Traveling in ♪
- The world of my creation ♪
What we'll see will defy ♪
Explanation ♪
If you want to view paradise ♪
Simply look around and view it ♪
Anything you want to do it ♪
Wanna change the world ♪
There's nothing to it ♪
- There is ♪
- No life I know ♪
To compare with pure imagination ♪
Living there ♪
You'll be free ♪
If you truly wish ♪
To be ♪
We're getting there, people.
- We've resuscitated Danny's heart.
- Whoo!
Keep going.
This party is just getting started.
My dear, you were splendid.
Just like old times.
But, you know what time it is.
But the party is
just getting started.
It's
Never trust an Art major
to leave the house.
Farewell, unfuckables.
Au revoir, dickless robots.
Nobody here would know a good
time if it slapped them on the
ass.
Well
What is going on here?
I was thinking the same thing.
Speak up, boys.
That's Cyborg.
Who are you?
Scarlet Harlot.
And I told you to fucking speak!
We are having a party
for Danny the Street.
I mean, Brick.
Ooh!
- That sounds like fun.
- It does?
Yup.
Dial up my number now ♪
Weaving it through the wire ♪
Switch me on ♪
Turn me up ♪
I want to touch you ♪
You're just made for love ♪
I need la la la la la la ♪
I need ooh la la la la ♪
I need la la la la la la ♪
I need ooh la la la la ♪
Coils up and round me ♪
Whoa!
Okay. All right, be cool.
- Be cool.
- What? What?
I bet you're fit as fuck
under those bandages.
Thanks. If I take them off,
everyone here will die.
Just completely melt and die, so, yeah.
I need la la la la la la ♪
I need ooh la la la la ♪
I need la la la la la la ♪
Where did you learn to control
your meatballs like that?
Where'd I learn what?
You just make it look so easy.
You squeeze, you twist,
you make things happen.
It's infuriating.
It's simple. You just have
to clear your mind. Watch.
You see? Right now
my mind is completely blank.
- That's it?
- That's it.
Is everything all right?
Could I ask a favor of you?
- I love this song.
- Me, too.
- Good night, Herschel.
- Good night, kid.
You should go back.
Why are you talking to me?
You know the rules, Candlemaker.
It's bedtime.
Dorothy wants to see, don't you?
You barely even sound yourself.
You never used to talk this much.
Dorothy never gets to see.
Father will be angry
Herschel's right.
Dorothy grown-up.
Herschel friend for little girls.
She is a little girl!
Shush, Herschel, let me think.
I am 100 and three-quarters.
So, do you remember that time
You did that thing?
When we were all together
on Danny the Street.
Yeah, I ripped a hole into the
white space between dimensions.
No.
Before that part.
Oh
Again, I am so, so sorry about that
No need.
It's just that's the only time
I can remember my mind
truly being clear since
the Hoover administration.
Could you do it again?
Well, we'd probably
have to warn everybody first
and make sure they're
properly hydrated
No, not like that.
More like could you contain it?
Here in this room?
- Oh! Uh
- You said it.
"I can't control my powers
unless I let go and empty my mind",
and I can't do that without
Well, huh, without a release.
You Do you really
think that would work?
Would you say that to
Sir Laurence Olivier?
Don't question my process!
- We'd have to be very careful.
- Mmm-hmm.
With great muscles
come great responsibility.
And great clarity.
Shall we begin?
We shall.
Okay. I'm ready.
Right here.
Ready?
This won't work.
You put your nose
right there on this dot,
and don't move, capisce?
Nose on the dot. Capisce.
- On the dot.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Ready?
- Ready.
One
two
three
Oh.
- What happened?
- I saw something.
That sounds like you got a mental block.
So, unblock it.
Surely there's a flex for that.
I can try.
But we have to be extremely careful
with how hard we push with this.
Nose to the dot.
- Take it from the top.
- You're sure?
Action.
Cliff?
Hey, Chief.
I'm back.
How was Florida?
Awesome.
Good.
Well
How about
letting me take a look at your hand?
Is it still troubling you?
Maybe we should test it.
I could punch you in the face.
So, maybe things didn't go
so well with your daughter.
We're adults, Cliff.
I've been open about my mistakes,
maybe it's time you
were honest about yours.
I'm sorry,
that would require me
rising to the occasion.
Any fucking occasion.
What do you want to hear?
It went piss-fucking poor!
If it's any consolation
I'd like to punch me, too.
Argh! For once, I wish I could
just get out of my fucking head!
I get stuck in my fucking head,
and I can't get out.
I fuck everything up!
Always!
I just need a break.
Don't I deserve a fucking break?
I could make some adjustments
to your nutrient tank.
Add
a little methylenedioxymethamphetamine.
- For tonight.
- What?
Ecstasy.
I'm in a full-blown
psychological crisis,
and you're offering me Ecstasy?
Ugh!
I've heard these parties for
years, living underneath you,
but never got to go.
Let me have fun before
Dad sends me back.
Please, Danny?
All right.
So, this is actually helping?
Danny's just gonna grow into a street?
I don't know.
I've never known Danny
to be this quiet before.
How are you?
- Oh
- Come on.
Spill it.
I met someone.
She's cool
brave
Mmm-hmm.
She's the first person I've
been with since my accident.
"Been with"?
You mean
Good for you.
Yeah.
So, what's she like?
- Other than brave and cool.
- She's great.
- But she has a past.
- Okay.
- And?
- I don't know.
I just
I can't stop thinking about her.
Every person in this room has a past
that someone persecuted them for.
She's not like me.
I mean, I'm Cyborg.
She's She's a shock to my system.
The Dannyzens and I have been out
in the world for the past month.
And sadly
the world hasn't changed that much.
People still made
jokes behind my back
and to my face.
My trans-sisters are
still being murdered.
Human beings are cruel to people
that are different from them.
Yeah, out there I had to
read a motherfucker.
He was screaming at me,
calling me all kinds of freak.
I let him know
he hated the fact that I was human,
just like him.
That's what disturbed him.
That we somehow breathe the same air
and walk the same streets.
So much self-hatred out there.
And people turn that hatred
on anyone who doesn't look,
or act like them.
Life is short, Vic.
Go where you feel love.
And if that love's consistent
stay.
Come on.
Live in the spirit of Danny.
Just a robot, doing the robot.
Okay. Okay, it's all good.
I am high as fuck! And
you are a dancing shadow
with a weird thingy on your head.
It's all good. It's all good.
Now, now, Rita.
Ladies sit still.
Mr. Parker, the producer,
- is coming here tonight?
- Mmm.
Does that mean I got the part?
Not yet
but I'll get you that part.
Uh, Mommy, I can do it.
What do you want me to do?
I can do a little show, dance, sing.
Darling, please
You have other talents.
Focus on those, okay?
Okay.
Go on.
Get to bed.
Are you sure I should be seeing this?
No bedtime.
Stay.
Father always said, "Nothing
good happens after bedtime".
Lar-Bear! You and I
we don't hug enough.
So, why aren't you at the party?
Look, I'm not exactly in a party mood.
Do you want drugs? Cheap-ass drugs.
No. I'm sure I'd find a way
to ruin that for myself, too.
You gotta do something, though.
Right?
- You can't just sit here.
- What do you want me to do, Cliff?
Dance? Get wrecked?
I was supposed to go to outer space.
I was supposed to be a goddamn father.
I couldn't do a single thing
that I was supposed to do.
What the hell am I
supposed to do after that?
Look, I get it. I totally get it.
You saw your kid,
it fucked you up. Mine did, too.
That's what kids do, they
fuck up your entire life.
No They don't.
We are the ones who fuck everything up.
Our kids just end up paying for it.
I'm missing my kid's
science fair for this?
Hey, HQ says we go, we gotta go.
Talk to me, Cuddles.
These readings are off the charts.
I need a no bullshit assessment.
Are we talking potential
worldwide sextinction here?
Let's get it on.
Excuse me.
That is quite enough of that.
All right.
Everyone take three steps back
and keep your hands
where we can see 'em.
What the hell are you?
Baby, we are the Sex Men.
I'm Kiss, she's Torture.
And we're here to save the world
from a paranormal sexual event.
I have so many questions.
No time for that, ma'am.
You're all in serious danger.
If you need comfort, talk to Cuddles.
He's outside in our mobile
emission control center.
The Sex Machine.
Okay, enough.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't be a hero, son.
If you cock-block us,
you'll end up fucking the entire world.
Lieutenant Kiss, Lieutenant Torture
I never thought I'd see
the Sex Men at my door.
Wish it were under better
circumstances, Dr. Caulder.
Uh, hold up. You know these clowns?
Consider yourself lucky you don't.
Now, how may we be of assistance?
Earlier this evening
our scanners picked up a
powerful and sustained spike
in hypersexual energy.
- Here? Are you absolutely sure?
- I'm afraid so.
Who the fuck are these guys?
Did someone order strippers for Danny?
Sexual energy itself isn't harmful.
But readings this high attract a
very dangerous sort of creature.
What kinda creature?
Sex demon.
A perverted poltergeist with
a periscope atop its head.
Goes by the name
Shadowy Mister Evans.
Hey, yo! I know that guy.
I fuckin' danced with that guy.
Holy fuck!
I danced with a sex demon?
God damn it!
He's already here.
Come on, everyone, we need
to keep the party going.
Danny needs us.
No more prison.
What?
What does that mean?
No more prison.
Stay frosty, we're close.
What the fuck!
We're too late.
Sex ghosts.
The two of you on the right,
go back to the party.
We need to do everything we can
to dial down the erotic amplification.
Hold up.
I'm Cyborg.
Listen to them, Vic,
they are the sexperts.
The rest of you get behind us.
And do not make eye contact
with any of the sex ghosts.
I know I'm going to hell,
but the sex ghosts are hot!
Shut up, Cliff.
I don't know what you're up to
but I won't have any of it.
You've always hated Danny
from the moment we met them.
Danny prison.
Danny's my friend.
And I'm not listening to you anymore.
Danny prison.
Danny get better, Dorothy
go back to prison.
- Stop.
- Dorothy grown-up.
Dorothy be free.
- Who are you?
- You're Cuddles.
Is that your real name?
It's not my name,
it's It's a call sign.
A call sign you chose.
I mean
I guess. It was either,
"Cuddles" or "Handstuff".
Cuddles was the name of a stuffed
porcupine you had as a boy.
At 12, Cuddles supplied
you with your first orgasm.
You didn't even know what
masturbation was at the time.
Bit of a late bloomer.
You just began rubbing your member
against his cotton quills and
God, Jesus! Stop! I
I don't have time for this.
If I don't do my job,
the world is gonna end.
What exactly does that mean?
"The end of the world"?
The death of sex.
Do you understand
what's going on in there?
That sex demon is a vessel.
When it absorbs enough sexual energy,
it'll give birth to
something even worse.
A baby.
Yes, the symbolism is palpable
I'm not kidding!
If that baby cries It's all over.
The world will become an adults-only,
X-rated, hedonistic hellscape.
Every child on the planet
will cease to exist.
Tonight, the fate of the
world lies in the hands
of the Sex Men.
Ahhh!
What the fuck did you just say?
- Uh uh
- What's gonna happen to the kids?
Every child, gone.
Poof
"Poof"?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Danny?
I need you to talk to me like an adult.
Not like a child.
There's no time for that now.
Were you truly my friend
or were you my prison?
Dorothy sees truth.
Yes.
I think I do now.
Go!
What the fuck!
What's happening?
I can't move!
I'm going in.
Ahhh! Ahhh!
Think of potatoes.
Okay.
Lieutenant Kiss, take my hand!
Whoa!
No, here comes the baby!
I have no fucking clue
what's happening right now!
And I really mean that this time.
If that baby cries, it's
the end of the world.
Cliff, you have to go in there.
You're the only one of
us that can't orgasm.
A, I'm fucking high,
B, you just totally embarrassed
me in front of the Sex Men.
C, you want me to kill a fucking baby?
Fuck, no!
No! Don't let it cry!
Do it.
Dorothy, be free.
Dorothy?
I don't know what to do, Danny.
I can't go back.
Shh!
Shh!
We'll take it from here.
It's, uh, good that you saw your block.
Now you can deal with it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't see a thing.
Anyway, um be well, Rita.
And you, Flex.
Remember, nose to the dot.
Who's the hero? Hammerhead's the hero!
Chill out, douche-knuckle.
I was protecting the girl.
Felt pretty good, right, saving the day?
Are you fucking high?
Are you fucking ready for a hug?
- Do not.
- We can hug, or we can Eskimo kiss.
- No.
- Comin' in for the hug.
Comin' in.
Fuck!
Okay, Jane.
You win.
I'm so fucking high!
Seems you're on the mend, Danny.
After several failed alternatives
Oh, it'll be a comfort
to know you'll be back.
She was safe there.
The world was safe with her there.
She was not!
I think, as her father, I should know!
Attention, everyone,
Attention.
Gather around.
Come on.
Allow me to reintroduce
you to our beloved Danny.
I don't get it.
Don't judge, teapot.
A tire is just the beginning
of Danny's new journey.
Uh, Danny, some of the
Dannyzens have been asking
can we come along?
"Yes".
"I wouldn't do this without you.
Your strength to live, who
you truly are teaches me.
The world needs our
open hearts and minds,
so people like us don't have
to suffer and live in fear.
Let's spread our message far and wide.
There are people looking for
someone to hold their hand.
Let's breathe life into the misfits,
the forgotten ones
the outsiders".
Oh.
Everyone
We're ready, Danny.
So, they're not gonna
help clean up the house?
We've been standing here
for like, five minutes, man.
- Can I get a grilled cheese?
- Oh, yeah. Sorry.
Hey, what made you go to Detroit?
I got tired of letting
my trauma run my life.
Wanted to heal.
You don't think you can heal here?
Can you?
Grid, check for any new text messages.
Are you back?
Yeah
and wondering why.
And are you back, Jane?
For now.
Is anyone gonna say
anything about the fact
that Rita's G-spot almost
ended the fucking world?
You should really,
really, really be in bed.
- Rita?
- Hmm?
Did you mean what you said?
Am I beautiful?
Darling, please.
You have other talents. Focus on those.
I don't want to grow up.
Candlemaker?
Don't talk to me.
Talk to your little girl friends.
Greg, move your head!